The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, September 13, 1912, Image 6
f^iftiliiCKEgAY M t . REPORTER
future Great Novelist Jy?t the Mini U
Enjoy Such Bplcy Repartee ??
the Fallowing. T.if'J, ? ' ?
Thackeray ojace acted ?? police r*.
./ Porter for the London Diogenes, and
performed his work la no perfunctory
way. How the future novellsi muit
hart enjoyed observing and recording
> > this bit of courtroom bumor:
Pat Fogarty went oil tbe way from
Manchester to London , In order to
thrash Mick Fltspatrlck, which he did.
V ' winding up tbe performance with the
assistance of an "awful horseshoe/'
He was detected and brought before
Mr. Justice Slmpleman.
"Well, sir," began the court, "you
came here from Manchester, did youT"
"Your honor baa. answered correct."
"You see the complainant's bead; It
waa cut by a sharp Instrument. Do
you know what out It?"
" "Ain't your honor after sayla' that
a sharp Instbrumlnt did?"
"I see you mean to equivocate," said
the court, becoming restive. "Now,
air, you cut tfeat head; you came here
to cut It, did you not? Now, air, what
motive brought you to Ixmdon?"
"The locomotive, per honor .H
"Equivocating again, you acoun
drel!" said the court, waxing warm.
Raising up the horseshoe, and holding
It before Pat, he said, "Do you aee this
horseshoe, sir?"
"Is It a horseshoe, yar honor?"
"Don't you see it Js, sir? Are you
bHnd? Can you not tell at once that
It Is a horseshoe?"
> "Bedad, no, yer honor,"
"No?" angrily.
"No, yer honor;.' but can yersllf
telir ; v ,
"Of course. I can, you stupid Irish*
nan/'
"Ob, glory be to goodness, see what
education 1st" soliloquised Pat, aloud.
"Sure, yer honor, a poor, Ignorant
creature like mesllf wouldn't know a
horse'* shoe from a mare's." ? Youth'*
Companion.
LIKE THE WAIL OF BANSHEE
Mournful Cry of the 8oreech-Owl
Hoard In Youth, plainly Recalled *
In Aftor Year..
From the orchard, too, on an autumn
midnight, comes the mournful whistle
of a screech-owl. Most of ua who
hare heard the screech-owl at .all have
heard Its call drifting down from an
old orchard on a frosty October night
The chill of coming winter, the cattle
stamping in dark stables, a dim and
ghostly world stretching over garnered
fields to the mystery of the woods, and
a gnarled, ancient orchard up the
elope seem phantomlike under a wan
ing moon ? these are the setting foi
the screech-owl's mournful whistle. 1
...can at this moment shut my eyes, re
produce that whistle In my throat, and
bring back to memory as if it wore
.yesterday, the scene as my boyhood
eyes saw It from my chamber win
dow, whence I peeped with frosted
breath before diving Into bed, and 1
can actually smell (for all the tobaccc
smoke In my present study) the po
cullar odor of the cold October night
air, and feel again a vague, almost
terrifying melancholy chill in my
heart as, in the darkness, I heard from
the orchard that reiterated whoo-oo
oo-oo. Like the whip-poor-will on the
pasture rail on a hot evening of July,
this other night-singer of New Eng
land seems to dwell just on the skirta
of human habit at ion a and to keepoui
souls reminded of the sadness of the
world.-? Walter Prichard Eaton, iv
\ iarper's Basar. *?
s <*"> ' '' ' ' p. ;
London aa a Frenchman 8eee It.
Tho little Frenoh boy has every op
portunity of getting an engaging ldoa
of London, tlnja recent volume of
French and general geography, whlob
* baa run Into several editions, the com
piler give? an Engllah reading from
the works of M . Knault, whoever he
may be. And the little French boy la
* told concerning the London of this
century that there are In the beat
parts of our unhappy ctty "whole
streets formed of dens dug oat of the
soil, which Itself waa only a mass of
? rubbish." And again: "A little further
on, bands of half-starved men without
fire or abetter take refuge In gypey
vans, which vana are bnried up to the
axletree la mud." People also sleep
la wheel leas cabs, for which they pay
a rent of It ^4 cents a week. We Lon
doners should not have known any
thing about this if M. Bnault bad not
told us! ? London Chronicle.
Seep Bubtriee.
The an*3ent Britons Invented soap.
The Romans, two thoneand yeara ago,
carried the invention back to Italy.
They manufactured soap in Savona,
whence the French rrerd for it ? ?*
von.
There are natural soaps ? the soap
root of Spain, the eoapberry of Chill
and the bark of the Peruvian soap
tree.
At Quartetare, In Mexico, soap takes
of copper coinage.
eat soap,
nourish
say they like tho taste,
> V S>? ,1.1 J
yon tn
aald
?ngry.
In tho
**^F? ** . ' '^1 ? i : ? """ "v^
Among
Friends
"Well. well, look who's berel" cried
MIm Connelly, gayly, " she teetered
across the lunchroom toward the Xmr
bio About vbloh sat her particular cir
cle of friends, "Move over, klddo,"
she adjured little Jfiss Hoffman.
"Make room (or your aunty."
[ Mis# Hoffman obeyed, giggling.
"Bay, Hoffy," aald if las Connelly,
warning!*, as she set down her tray,
wbleh contained a hygicnlcelly paraly
sing collection of foodstuffs, "you bet
ter be careful with them ingrowing
wbeeses df yours. One of 'em's li
able to strike i?*. Well, Mame," she
continued after she had begun a; de
termined attack on a large plec^ of
roast pork, "how's the pink crepe da
chine and the blue mesaallne com In'
oaf*
"They're aU right," replied lftlas V>
terson. "I' was to ths dressmaker's
last evening- The crepe de chine fits
?legsnt, but th# meesaline klnda book*
lee around ths waist."
"Say, ain't that too badr cried Miss
Connelly. "Don't, for goodness sake,
tell me there's anything wrong with
the pink net tunic with the Jewel em*
broidery. With my weak heart I don't
believe I could atand the shock."
Miss Peterson locked at her suspici
ously. "1 don't know*s you need to
bother about it."
: ?til', ' ' t _ -J- ' L. ' ' ??? 4
Miss Connelly Included the group In
ft comprehensive wink.
"Girlies," she said, "ain't it funny
bow hein* in love nukes some folks
get sore so asy? Now, I thought when.
Mame really got her hooks on Joe
she'd be so tickled that she'd be
sweeter'n pie. My! I'm disappoint*
?*?" W
Miss Peterson bit her Up angrily.
Miss Frlzkie broke into the conversa
tion with the laudable object of
smoothing the troubled waters.
"Say, girlies," she cried, eagerly,
"you'd ought to see the couple of
?well willow plumes Mam* got off the
sale up In the millinery today., Peach
es!" ' .
"Willow plumes!" ejaculated Miss
Larson, who up to this time had been
giving her undivided attention to her
luncheon. "Say, you are goln' some,
ain't you, MameT Who's goln* to get
Joe's supper while you're settln' round
In your pink net tunics and willow
plumes?"
"Why, ain't you ashamed of your
self, Stell Laron?" broke In Miss Con
nelly. "Where did you get such com
mon ideas? Didn't you know Joe's
took a suite at the swellest hotel In
town for the winter? You don't sup
pose he expects Mame to do anything
so unladylike as ? her own cooklh'?
You'd better confine yourself to mak
In' noises like a deaf and dumb party
If you don't know no better'n that."
"Oh, pickles!" sniffed Miss Larson.
"You talk like a fish, Nell Connelly.
But, on the square, Mame, I should
think you'd rather wait a while on
the chance of locatln' a fellow who
could, maybe buy you some clothes
after twenty years or so. Instead of
?tockln' up for the rest of your life."
"Well, if it comes to that, Stell Lar
son," said Miss Peterson, tensely, "I
don't know as that pluhead I see you
comln' down on the car with ever
day looks like he was goln' to be able
to buy swell clothes any more than
Other folks' friends."
"Oh, cut it, folks," Interrupted Miss
Frirkle. "S eeins like this bunchid
ought to bo able to get together once
in n* while without scrappln'."
Miss Connelly nodded appro* ingfr.
"That's where you soaked the tack on
the bean, Jen," ahe said. "Merry lit*
tie sunbeams like us ought to be able
to have a quiet, friendly meet without
end in* up in * aluggin' match. Bat
on the level, Matte," she added, turn
ing to Miss Peterson, 'when are you
?nd Joe plannin' to pdll off that little
matrimonial celebration?"
'1 don't know** yon need worry
about it!" snapped Miss Peterson.
"Oh, I ain't goin' to bother none/*
returned Miss Connelly. "But it hurta
me to see a nice, industrious girl like
you work so hard to land a fellow and
have such awful poof luck. There
ain't anything I wouldn't do to heijp
yonl Norn-, If you get a strange hop
on him some time and don't dare tot
go for fear he'll ditch you,1 yon send
me a hurry up call and HI be tlokled
to come around and hang' on to blit
while you run
Miss Peterson rose so suddenly that
her chair fell oyer with a crash.
"Look here, Nell Connelly," ahe
said, furiously, "some day youll find
you're altogether too smart. I want
you to understand that 1 don't pick
fights with nobody, hsnsnsi that aln*t
my nature, but whsn 1 do scrap I
scrap to a finish. It's abo^t time for
you to quit ' thla fuanfr business. I
suppose yon thfnh yon make a terrible
hit with Voor am art remarks, but I
could tell you sows different!
"Anyway, when * get as old as some
folks maybe 111 have to call In some
body to help land * fellow. When
I get as old as tone folks I hope Hi
know enough to mind my own bust
hess."
With this luminous speech Miss Pe
terson gave the prostrate chair a kick
and flounced away.
ererrt^ft excepted except
plresent^ompany,^ remarked iftss Con
nelly, calmly. **OlrlS, pass m$ Mame'i
fs that shs forgot to eat**
^ r7 ' ' ft" ~~ ? ~ " -f < '
"BROUGHT DOWN To HSLL."
Maftthaw k L 20.?0? ??,*. 16. .
"Ooms u*t? U?. at ( th*i fetor ??4 ?r? hrarp
Mm, 0*4 I t?MI fi40ltam 9. M /
CODAT'g 8TUPY tell. of tw?
0?r Lord upbraided the city
wh?n? most o f Ills mljcbty
work* bad beeo <looe, becrtuM
th?; repeated not, because they did
not note the power of God lo their
midst and gladly receive tbe M?mk^
Such. Jesus declare^. will be fe*i pre
pared to appreciate the Klugdom In
the future than will <, tome who bave
never known Him. Tyre and Sldon.
beatbeo cities. would bave repented
with far lees preaching, It ts bat In
harmony with Divine Justice, there
fore. that' when tbe Great Day of
Ood'a favor and of tba Messianic
Kingdom aball dawn, the people of
Tyre and Bldon shall have things still
more favorable than the people of
Ohorasln and Bethsaida and Caper
uautu. Jesps declared that Capernaum
bad been exalted up to beavai|?-hiKh
ly lifted op In point of privilege uud
Divine favor j^nd blessing. This
lng true. It meant that lp Justice Cm.
pernaum'a fall would be proporttoapf e
She would fall from the heights of
heavenly privilege and favor down to
MU-*o the grave. '
listen further to tbe reason for rlil?
denouncement: 4,If the mighty work*
which have been done lp thee fu??l
been done in ?odom. It would have re
(oalned unto this day; but'l say. 11
shall bo more tolerable for Sodom In
the Day of Judgment than for thee."
Let us not mistake tbe lesson: While
only those who fully accept Christ und
consecrate tbei* Hvee to pis service
wilt ^
It- begetting, or /my
shard In the Heav
enly Kingdom, all
the remainder of
mankind who come
to any knowledge of
the Lord and HI*
mercy and bleaalng,
and who refrain
from rendering hom
age and from strW?
Ing to walk to God's
way. will DroDor
"Not many great or
rich kMf the go*
pel not*.*'
tiouateiy disadvantage themselves In
respect to the future life and the great
blessings and privileges and opportuni
ties to be brought to all mankind
through Messiah's -Kingdom land its
reign of a thousand years.
"I Thank Thee, O Father."
it was in Jesus' day as It baa ever
since been, that not many of th* great
or rich or wise or learned ^sd ears to
hearo the Gospel Message. The diffi
culty with this claas la that tht things
of the present life so fill and aatfsfy
that they have no hungering .?r, the
better things. Thus It has been that
the majority of the followers of Jesus
In every Age have been chiefly the
poor of this world, rich In faith.
But hearken again to the words of
Jesus? how peculiarly they read: "1
thank Thee. O Father. Lord of heaven
and earth, because Thou bast hid these
things from the wise and prudent and
has revealed them unto babes; even
so. Father, for so It seemed good in
Thy eight" How strangely those
words once sounded to us, wh^n we
supposed that all who failed to receive
the Message of Jesus, all who failed to
make their "calling and election sure"
to membership in the Bride class,
would suffer an eternity of torture! |
How strange It seemed that Jesus
should thank the Father that these
things were hidden from some, of the
grandest and noblest and most brU
liant of our race! But now, how clear!
how plain! Jeans wss preaching the
Kingdom, and all who rejected , l?ls
preaching rejected the Kingdom, and
will lose it. This does not mean that
they may not receive ultimately a
blessing under that Kingdom, when it
ahall rule the world* and when all that
are In their graves ahall come forth
to receive thoee very blessings which
Jesus died to procure for them?the
blessings of s trial, or judgment of a
thousand years to determine whether
they will be accounted worthy of ever
lasting life, or $f everlasting ^eeth. |
Few Knew the Father or tlie 8 on.
All m?n are to be brought to a
knowledge of God. The Scripture* df*
clare. The knowledge of the glory of
"tW'M
God shall All the
whole earth. '"Je
aoi declared that
W OO! caa know
the Father exoept
as be knowai>i$e
Bob, or u the Son
rereaje tbo Fatter
&&*?8
failed to recogufa
Jeetu aa the' Bon
o? God tati ttot
yet come to the
foil appreciation
or tMir pnru?fM. biiwh are our
eyes, that now the; aee, and oar ear* i
that now they hear, that Wo may
fcitow toeealah, att<l through Hli know
tho' FefS*^. *
We are glad that *1! mankind In due
tl?^ wfo U btoitfcht to a *l?*t knowl
edge and full opportunity. But oh.
how motif greeter to our bleoalng, be
aldee the privilege of now being the
eone o f God. and Jotnt-Wlel**
gMooa Klntfomr Thetpeda
Oo4 tttroctfi JMtu, therefot*l1
poor. tho - ttrokoh-honftoi; ? 1
laden* tboanoatWhrf:MOomt_
S&Sf&KiXSr y.
? fc wijMrw #j t \tr\
\ *< Yi ?*i|* r.or ;
-. v'-'v ?.*|. ft, % . % '?&?: >' ?? jfj;
t ? _ ?
.? . ? W
IS the kind that attracts favorable
Hotice. To attain the desired re
'
suit appropriate type is $s necces
sary as proper workmanship and
material. We have the right kind.
r M-r ?'?> ;"*V-V .( -ri
Give Qi jronr next order for Job
printing.
To Our
WE are pleased to an
nounce that we are now
better prepared to serve you
with anything you may need
in the grocery line. o
? We are constantly adding
to our grocery stock, which
is always of the choicest se
lection. ' - 1
1 ' -**Y ?'-.v r . "V ? ? v ? '
# Telephone 37 and *11 order* sent
1) us will reeaiva prompt attention, j
?
Kirkwood Grocery
' ? jCOMPANY
J. T. Burdell
Surveyor Mid $nfineer
Camden, S. C*
* broke can W ma
new at a nominal cotf. . Bring i
and let ul give fo tf a pn*? on it
anything in rea?on? rtone# re?e
tered to suit your l|UM|?
mnm t