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SUCH IS LIFE-? None Better By Charles Sugliroe Voluble Dutchman Dupes U- S. Bigwigs <S> Notables " Give Him Auto graphs and Seals. ?New York. ? No doubt the youthful Dutchman Indulges In u chuckle or two as he paces the confines of the lillls Island alien detention pen and awaits the word from Washington that will pack him off to his native Holland. Hadn't he pulled the wool over the ?yes Of a select list of the nation's celebrities, Including Secretary of Utate Cordell Hull, Governor Lehman ?f New York. Mayor La Guardla of New York city, and, apparently, Pres ident Roosevelt, too? Plcter Jaarsma, late of Amsterdam, Is the name of this super-duper who, as a sort of self-appointed good will ?nvoy of her majesty, Queen Wllhel xnlna, mnde a specialty of gathering official seals and signatures. A Technique All His Own. Jaarsma, autograph collector extraor dinary, had a technique all his own, and he had lots of fun crashing the highest state circles until Immigration officials caught up with him and called a halt to the game. Just why Jaarsma went about for several years posing as a Dutch news paper correspondent collecting signa tures and seals for the queen back in Amsterdam he would not say when offi cers pounced upon him and Ills album. Possibly It was merely to satisfy his vanity, possibly for a more sinister purpose. But It is not for that that Jaarsma Is languishing on hot nnd smelly Ellis Island. It Beems thnt he once washed flishes in an Amsterdam hotel and that ?ne day he abandoned his crockery Tp.Rp in America liulKl Heccoll of Mllnn, Italy, who fcolda the Olympic l.flOO meter title, Is ?omlng to the United PUitos to com pete In the Princeton university Invi tation meet June 1(3. and soapsuds, helped hltnself to 1,000 of his employer's gold guilders and several ? articles of clothing, and set out upon his autograph pilfering tour. This Is the charge In u warrant Issued by the Dutch government on which final deportation orders are now await ed from Washington. Jaarsma's al leged theft was made four years ago and a world-wide search has been made for him since, ending In his ar rest and detention here. During the four-year Interval Jaars ma went freely about collecting his seals and autographs with the aid of an adopted American name, Bernard Putnam. Hunted as a criminal, he used Queen Wilhelmlna's name freely in representing himself as an Inter national Journalist In good standing and In the service of his sovereign. Worries Whlta House. There was some doubt as to whether Jaarsma Included President Roosevelt among the victims of his bland man uer and smooth speech. Examination of his album disclosed the official wax seal of "the President of the United States" Imposed upon a trl-color band of red, white, and blue. But the Pres ident's secretarial stall Insisted that there was uo official record ot Jaars ma having made a call at the White House. They came to the conclusion that the seal was a forgery Inasmuch as the State department keeps the Chief Executive's seal under lock and key. Forgery or not, the finding of the President's seal In the album was said to have caused deep concern at the White House when Jaarsma's Iden tity was revealed. On another page of th# album there was the brilliant red paper seal of the State department beside the photo graph of Cordell Hull, director of America's foreign affairs. On still other pages there looked out gold-bordered pictures of Governor Lehman, Gov. A. Harry 4Moore of New Jersey, and -Mayor La Guardla. Set ting the photographs off In tasteful fashion were the facsimile state and city seals punched Into gold-leaf ros ettes. It was all very Imposing. The Hollander's glib tongue and suave manner even fooled New YorVs police commissioner. Gen. John F. O'ltyan. The fact that the commis sioner was conferring with Alfred E. Smith did not deter Wilhelmlna's "emissary" when he wanted an auto graph. He simply told O'Hywn's sec retary that he would like to have the commissioner's signature for the queen, and he got it. Twins Serve 35 Years as Priests in Same Diocese North Andover, Mass. ? ltev. Mich ael J. Buckley of St. Michael's church here and Hev. Patrick J. Buckley of St. Patrick's church, Cambridge, first twin brothers to be ordained to the priesthood In the Boston archdiocese, recently completed 35 years as priests. Both are pastors, and by coincidence, their parish churcheR bear the names of their patron saints. ODD THINGS AND NEW ? By] Lame Bode Tom T^umb Geyser The Toaa Thumb Geyser in Yellowstonp Park mas a tiny CONE ONLY THREE F66T HIGH, Waiting 30 years a day American motorists wait. SO YEARS EVERY PAY WAtTlNO FOR THE GREEN TRAFFIC LIGHT, SUCCESSORS ftUftNS PULVEft|2?D COAL INSTCAD OF OIL. WAR IN L940? By LEONARD A. BARRETT No sooner had Mr. H. G. Wells placed his foot on American soil than he prophesied that the next world war would occur In 1040. EI e even went so far as to state that he was willing to risk his reputation as a propb?C upon the correctness of that statement. He Is quoted as having said that It will be a "war to end w a r." Whatever we may think of the prophecy itself, it is quite true that Mr. Wells unwit tingly spoke the truth, thnt it will be a war to end war. We are wonder ing, however, Just what Mr. Wells had In mind when he made that statement. Was he thinking of a new obligation of brotherhood that would be uni versally accepted? Did he have in mind the birth of a civilization In which the 'survival of the fittest' would no longer be a factor? Was he think ing of r golden age of universal peace when, "Swords should be beaten Into plowshares and spears into pruning hooks, when nations shall no more lift sword against notions?" We do not think Mr. Wells had any such high moral Ideal In mind. "War to end war" was shouted from the house tops In the last International struggle, and many a young man vol untarily went Into the conlllet fully persuaded that he was making the su preme sacrifice that would end all war and make_the world safe for democ racy. War will never end war so long as war is at all possible, that Is, so long as there are men willing to flght and plenty of ammunition with which to Chic Print Dress This striking bow in the buck and high In front print dross Is created by Lucille Dormoy for afternoon wear. flght. War will end war only when war Is no longer possible. When civ ilization refuses to furnish either men or guns, war will he a thing of the past. If this Is what Mr. Wells meant he was right. The peace of the world will be realized not through destructive hut constructive methods. Public opinion, national conscience and reverence for personality will stop wnr without any bloodshed. ^ Another w?r will doubtless end fur ther wars for the reason that chemical and aerial warfare airendy threatens the permanency o" civilization. The way to prevent a war In 1010 Is to be nior^" concerned about the manufacture of poison gases and other preparations being carried oh In almost every na tion. With the constant Increase In new death dealing Inventions which the airplane cnn and does carry, civiliza tion In the war nren Is to he wiped out. - ? t>y Wontorn N#wn|)?ptr Union. Color* of Flowrri All flowers originally nre snld to have been either green or white. There are still few truly red blooms. Shark Uic* Cfttch of Angler as Bait Kara not ft, Kin. ? Hon It ft IIouro went after a tarpon ? and onnio back with a tarpon nnd n nhark. The Rtark awallowert tlie tarpon that Ilonlta was playing on her line, and fought for nil hour nnd n half before It wnn landed. When the nbnrk wn? killed nnd out open tho tnrpon win found In lift stomach. DUBSS1NG is an Important element * In good dressmaking. Sometimes this feature Is slighted when the work Is done at home. The cutting, fitting, and sewing may be well done, but If the pressing Is neglected, the seams will not have the professional look so coveted, and the tailored or smart ap pearance of the garment will be lack ing, no matter what the material. It Is not enough that the dress, coat, blouse, etc., what ever it is that is being made, should be pressed when finished, although, of course, it must be. It is necessary that the Ironing be done at Intervals during the entire making of the gar ment. Regulation seams should be pressed open. They can be dampened by cun ning a dump cloth over them. As the pressing is done on t lie wrong side of the gnrmen t, no pressing cloth is required, but all the more care inusl be used not to scorch goods. Woolen materials and artificial silk of what ever sort require especial care. A moderately hot iron pressed down firmly on the goods Is as successful in Ironing, as is a hot iron run quickly over the seam or other portion of the garment. Joining Portions. Whenever a seam is to be stitched flnt when Joining portions of a gar ment together, It la Imperative that the seam be spread open and pressed first or It will rumple., Then It never looks right In the finished garment. The seam will buckle and refuse to llatten down. Ho very particular about this In shoulder and arm seams. Pleats and hems should be pressed carefully, never hurriedly. Pleats will not show stitch marks if caught along the lower or outer edge to a thin old ribbon. Pin the top of the pleated portion to the Ironing board and pull the lower end taut and straight down from the top. Iron over a damp cloth laid over the pleats. Press- lightly at first and firmly later on. Take the cloth up after the light pressing, to be sure the pleats are creasing prop erly. Then repeat the operation, press ing hard and keep Ironing until the cloth Is dry. If the pleats are not set then, professionally, dampen the cloth again and repeat the pressing. Return of Ticking. , Today there Is n revival of ordinary ticking for decorative purposes. More than half a century ago there was a type of needlework or embroidery known as ticking work. It took Its name from the foundation material which was of ticking. Simple and elab orate designs were worked on, over, and between the colored stripes of ticking. Like dishcloth embroidery, ticking work was In the order of peas ant embroidery, In that it made beau tiful a very simple material. The em broidery stitches were circumscribed by the Woven stripes of the ticking. In this era when beauty must again be wrested from Inexpensive mate rials, it is Interesting to note the re turn of ticking into methods of dee oration. During the lapse of years the ma terial has developed Into one with many designs as well ns the customary stripes. Souie require no stltchery to add embellishment. It can be made up In sofa cushions, lamp shades, bags, beach pillow covers, bathing suit bags, padded covers for outdoor chairs, benches, etc., and be used In tho pro verbial "thousand and one" ways. The beauty of ticking work depends uyon the suitability of the pattern to the purpose to which It Is put, that Is when the textile Is unadorned. The ornamental attractiveness of embroid ered ticking work depends upon tie combination of colors of the embroid ery mediums and the stltchery. ?. Uell 9> ndlcato. ? WNU Soryleo. Queen of Health For the second time In as hmny years, Lillian Saul, Choctaw Indian maiden from Muskogee. <>kla? was tlie recipient of the title of "Queen of Health" at the annual "play day" of the University of Kansas at Lawrence. She scored 100 In every test and hef posture Is said U> be perfect. Money in Body Helps Man Pay Hospital Bill Washington. ? A patient at St. Eliz abeth's hospital here learned that his bill would not strike as deeply Into his pocketbook as he hud anticipated when he found that $1-1 had been re moved from his body in an operation. Aside from the $14 In nickels, fllmes and quarters, a miscellaneous collection of bottle tops, nails and spoons was found, according to the re port. The ontlro collection approxi mated eight and one-half pounds. The patient, Kdward C. Nickels, came to the hospital with an entirely different ailment. When he romplnlned of stomach trouble during his conva lescence, a diagnosis revealed the col lection. Henry Ford Buys Foster Birthplace Henry Ford, the Automobile manufacturer, In here Been loavlng the birth place of Stephen Collins Foster, composer of "My Old Kentucky Homo," which he has bought and which will be removed from Pittsburgh, Pa., .v> (Jreenflold Village, Mich., to be another exhibit In the Ford museum. PATTERN SUITED TO FROCKS OF VARIOUS TYPES AND FABRICS PATTERN 1782 You'll soon be needing one of those completely now morning dresses, as warm days are well on tlie way. The design of this little frock Is so adapt able to Ideas of your own, you can use the same pattern to make sev eral different dresses. Make It all of a printed wash silk or of solid-col ored pale blue, green or rose cotton fabric. Or you can make the wing like sleeve effect of a harmonizing or contrasting material ? and you'll have still another new and very exciting dress. Really as lovely for after noons as for mornings, and expresses gaiety In no small way! Pattern 1782 Is available In sizes 14, 10, 18, 20, 32, 34, 3G, 38, 40, 42 and 44. Size 10 takes 3 ',4 yards 30-inch fabric. Illustrated step-by-step sew ing instructions included. Send FIFTEEN CENTS (15c) in coins or stamps (coins preferred) for this pattern. Write plainly name, address and style number. HE SURE TO STATE SIZE. Address orders to Sewing Circle Pattern Department, 243 West Sev enteenth street, Now York City. FOODS ESSENTIAL James was having t> bard 1 1 mo cen tering his attention on the discussion of carbohydrates, proteins, and fata. Noting the lack of attention, the tencher asked: "Jatv.es, what three foods are essential to man's physical welfare?" "Breakfast, dinner and supper," answered the hoy. A Dreamer "What is a debtor, pa?" "A man who owes money." "And what is a creditor?" "The mar. who thinks lie's going to tret it." ? Boston Transcript. A Perfect Gentleman "What's your Idea of a gentleman farmer?" "He's a peon>/j," answered Farm er (Jorntossel, "who is so well fixed that he can waste, profanity on ? golf ball instead of on a mule." The Brut? Mrs. Knagg ? My heart Is broken My darling little Fido Is no more. Mr. Knagg ? That's good. Hither to the pup has been altogether too much. ? Brooklyn Eagle. WRIGLEYS CUM