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'TWOULD SfcEM SO During a history lesson the teach er pointed out to her pupils that a surname often Indicated the trade or profession of the ancestors of those who bore the name. "For Instance," she said, "suppos ing your name was Baker, that meant your ancestors were makers of bread. Or, as another example, supposing your name was Smith, that meant that your ancestors were workers In Iron ? blacksmith, and so on." She pointed to one of the boys. "What were your ancestors, Webb?" she asked. The boy looked thoughtful. "Spiders, teacher," he said, after a while. ? Tit bits Magazine. SAVE THE SAMPLES "Shall we give Humpies of cloth to ladles who are thinking of ordering swimming suits?" - ? ^ "I guess so, but cut them small. We don't wa/it 'em to use the samples to Tjake the suit." Reward of Thrift A father wild, '-"Now, -son, --start sav ing me.vpopnies and put them in this yellow box. and, .when you get'JJve pen nies gho them 'to .me and I*JJ give you a nickel nmf you can put' that 'in this blue box t ? then, "when 'y&d- get five nickels give them to me and t'll give you a quarter and you can put It in this mf.bbr." ~ ? - - - Seventeen years later the ,boy dis covered tnat the red box was the gas-meter. *" ?r ? . ? i ? :? ' ."i Give Him the Green Light "Going to a Are?" asked the traf fic officer sarcastically to the speed ing motorist. "W ? ell, not exactly," answered the motorist ''Just* trying to prevent one." "Yes, and how were you going to docthqt?" > n J "Well, the boss said tt|?pt's whajt he'd do if I were late, agftlt^ and I was hurrying to get fcp' th'0 office It time." ; In the Spotlight "Why should you rup for office In times of so much uncertainty?" "I'm not running," answered Sena tor Sorghum. "I'm being pushed." "Are you, then, so popular?" "I have my doubts. I am afraid some of my constituents are making it certain that I am fairly prominent* sov that I'll be sure to be investigated when my turn comes." A Good Thing Opera Singer? What do you think of my execution? Press Agent ? Well, I think every body will be in favor of IL UP-TO-DATE He ? Yoa*dOfl% believe In long en gagement*, do yoti? She ? I prefer two short ones any time. ''v .;Vbw?lcotfc* Gift Klx-yertif'Old rr^ldlH ^raft - ankeft by his te?oBetV. "Freddie, jfrljgt did you Klve yon* dear lJttle brother ifor bin birthday tMa year?" "I d'dn't have nufftnf to' give him," said tfHddte, "but last yifyr I gave him too ?Jrieaalea." <v t*" ^??Al J jfi ; Conelutlori * Slmfcr-While in Pari* I paid $25 In tlpa alowV'vv ' / Walter (ataJaUnahlrh on with hla eoat)^tf<)rt mjiat haW lived there a good many year*, alw r . r ?m \ fir, ?-,.?> ? ? > Way It Sound* Little Hobble waa sent by hla moth er to a confectioner's ahop to buy a pound of aalted cashew nuta. "I want a pound of aneWw," re queated the lad, pointing to the nut Jar.*? Indlanapolla Newa. BilM Mathcmatlca "HoW many votoi do you control?" "That queatlon/' aald Senator Sor ghnib, "la Abstruae and baffling. What 1 am trying to gtcerMIn how many different varletlM of totoa are trying to control mi" Events in the Lives of Little Men m M V.v M /'?V ,;,y. XifV 8$ 0 P I * W: * FINNEY OF THE FORCE Sorry- i was so * LOW <5 IN AWSWERiNG ThE Poor. ? I WAS TAK'iNCr A LITTLE -it NAP _ J Sorry we woke. Vez. LIP m Mm OH, WHAT A MICE IVY PLA NJT Yez. HAVE/ XHp YfeZ ?3*?ST <5eT iTf ""X? ? rOH YES? I 5 1 THOUGHT TP LIKE TER HAVE A FEW PLAMTS IN POORS LOOK WHAT I HAVE OVER HERE m ? W????m NiwiptptrUaita V OH ? ?T WAS TiMl FOR ME To C31T iiP ANYWAY I WAS T/JST TAKING A ? llTTLE BEAUTY NAP No Botanist ARE Ye-Z SHiJRE YEZ. SHOULDN'T HAVE SLEPT A little Longer? rr 's rsal preTtvj Ain'-r Ire it eeLOM<rS Tg> the: EJES-OMIA FAMILY/ V/HUT ARfe YEZ POINV WIT' iT? tfAPEIM' IT FER THiM WHILE* . THEY Bis AWAYf f ! A Pronounced Mistake l*APf?oviN(s- Your. Y cJusT A Book: NMNP, HO POUST-J ABOOT HORSES . WHAT ARH COMTAIMS | YOU R&ADl KG?] SOME WONPERFL1L *' yr V STORES ABOUT "THE^R STAhAINiX NOT STAtAEENA, hAY pea* StAKA-IM-A II oh I tne great ^ SCHOLAR CORRECTS ME/ WELL ? HOW DO YoU PRONOUNCE f Po LO PONY P-O-L-O-P lst's see l WHY "THAT IS ( Po LOPQMY,/ REALLY? VJHY -the" wAr it is USErP HERE, t THOUGHT \T was PoLO PONY THE CHEERFUL CHERUB IF I must live Kvmble life 111 ce^e. my vtxin repining. The 3tir3 *re. prominent tut my, I bet they're tired shinintf. Ll an * CAN'T TAKE IT "Congratulate me, I'm going to b? married." 41 "I can't do It conscientiously, old paL I'm married myself." YOUR DEAL Jane ? Your salary Is rather small. Tom ? Yea, hearts make good trumps. Jane ? True. But I have another suitor who wants to make It diamonds. WRONG NUMBER "A burglar got into my house about three o'clock this morning ? Just be fore I came hotae from the club." "Did he get anything?" "You bet! He's In the hospital. My wife ught It was I." ENLIGHTENED "I'a, what Is meant by 'pernicious activity?' " "That's when your mother clears up my desk, my soh." WORDS AND WORDS He ? .1 list one word will make m* the happiest man alive. She; ? I suppose you mean "yes," hut you'll he throwing It up to me It was "no" In a year or so. If I marry you. NO NRA CLAUSE MI)1<I Smith'* wlf? rotlre from th* World t or the forty dnys of Lent?" "Ye?, but on full pay." A DOUBLE TURN "Jack, you turned ovor ? now leaf ? t Now YGar'a?" "No, I'm Kolnar to wait until noxt year and turn over two." 1 DRESSY DESIGN IN FROCK FOR HOUSE OR STREET WEAR PATTKRN 99JT Looking lovely around the house la an art worth cultivating. It Isn't a luxury to have good-looking morning frocks. It's just a matter of choosing the right designs. The frock In the Illustration 1b so comfortably trim that It Is.nlce to do your 'housework In, and yet, It has so many delightful fashion details that you can actually use the same pattern to make an afternoon or street dress'. For morn ings make it of one of the checked, striped or figured new cottons. For afternoons, use sheer cotton or silk. Pattern 0937 mny be ordered only In sizes 14, 10, 18, 20, 32, 34, 30, 38, 40, 42 and 44. Size 10 requires 3% yards 30-lnch fabric. Complete, diagrammed sew chart Included. Send FIFTEEN CENTS In coins or stamps (coins preferred) for this pattern. lie sure to write plainly your NAME. ADDRESS, the STYLE NUMBER and SIZE. Send your order to The Sewing Circle Pattern Department, 232 West Eighteenth St., New York. NO TROUBLE "Henry," said Mra. (flipping In one of her tearful moods, "If I were to die, would you mourn for me?" "Certrlnly I would, my dear," re plied Mr. Gllpplng, an he scnnned th? financial page. "And would you visit my ? boo-hoo ? grave sometimes?" "Of course. Why do you ask such ? foolish question? You know the cemetery Is on the way to the golf links." ? News (Dallas). Safety Fir?t "Is Madge still lo<fklng for her Ideal man?" "(Jood heavens, no! She's far too busy looking for a husband. ? London Answers. Smile ! I'atron (posing for photo) ? What will these pictures cost me? Photographer? They're $2;"> a do7/ en. Now, look pleasant! ? The Con srregatlonallst. Somebody I? Asking Willie ? Would yon marry a woman who Is a great tnlker, or the other kind? Wallle ? What other kind Is thorel WRIGLEYS mn