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Scenes and Persons in the Current News 1 ? Aircraft carrier Saratoga and cruiser Brome seen from the Pensacola during fleet maneuvers off Los Angeles harbor in honor of members of the congressional naval affairs committee. 2 ? Strikers and pickets at Ambridge, Pa., being routed by tear gns and guns of the sheriff's posse. 3? Scene at dedication or the Gompers memorial In Washing ton, President Roosevelt being the chief speaker. One Byrd Ship Disabled Near the Start The disabled E^ear of Oaklnnd, of Commander Byrd's Antarctic expedition, being brought to Southport, N. C., by the tug nianche nfter an SOS had summoned aid to the foundering polnr ship. Eleven days o^t of Boston, the Bear's machinery became crippled as sho plowed through heavy seas off the Carolina coast. PITTSBURGH BACK Michael Sebastian of Shnron, Pn., is right halfback on the University of Pittsburgh tenm and Is counted one of Its most valuable players. MONSIGNOR WAGNER The Very Reverend Monslgnor It. Mp melius Wagner, Ph. I)., .1. C. L., director -of Catholic clmrltlos for th*> diocese of Cincinnati, who wns elected president of the National Conference of Catholic Charities nt Its annual meeting held in New York. Som* Horse Lover* Left Horse lovers of all sorts, even the ones who ride hut once a month, nnd talk the rest of the time to anyone In l. hearing distance ahotit gaits, action, and withers and hocks, are sticking to the sport. The death and extinction* '/ of His Equine Majesty apparently has suffered a great exaggeration. Twins Are/Out for Doctors' Degrees Memorial to Air Disaster Victims University arachnites nt llfteen, star reporters at seventeen, and now candl- ' dates for doctors' degrees nt twenty-one. Those are Just n few of the acconi- j pllsliinents of Helen and Olive Parish, pretty brunette twins, who are enrolled at the University of Southern California as candidates for the decree of doctor of philosophy. They have already received their bachelor of arts and master o arts decrees and have spent six colorful years as "by-line" writers for At- , lanta and New York newspapers. View of tho face or tho memorial near Allone, K ranee, which has boon erected to the memory of 17 victims of the Hrltlali dirigible R-101 which crashed on the Bcene. Tho disaster, which occurred on October 4, lMO, coat tho lives of ti any high ofllclals In Ilrltlsh aviation. ' Just THREAD OF THOUGHT During a history lesson the teacher >inted out to her young pupils that surname often Indicated the trade ?r profession of the ancestors of 'iose who bore the nnme, "For Instance," she said, by way ? f Illustration, "supposing your name was Baker, that meant your ances tors were makers of bread. Or, as another example, supposing your name was Smith, that meant that your ancestors were workers In Iron ?blacksmiths, and so on." She pointed to one of the hoys. "What were your ancestors, Vebb?" she asked him. The boy looked thoughtful. "Spiders, teacher," he said, after a while. Betides, It Save* Ink Penley (writing) ? Confound grain mar! Which Is right, "I would like to attend" or "I should like to at tend?" Parks ? Why bother about it? Po { as I do ? write "I'd." ? Boston Tran script. Common Complaint "You're looking bad, old man. What's the trouble?" "Domestic." "But you always said your wife wag a pearl." "So she is. It's the mother o' pearl that's the trouble." ? Stray Stories. Telling Him Nexdore ? I'm going to take my radio set with me when I go on my vacation. Nayber ? That is very thoughtful of you. It certainly needs a vaca tion. ? Pathfinder Magazine. One Handicap Mrs. Kelly ? Does yer husband got good pay, Mrs. Rooney? Mrs. Rooney ? Well, he would. Mrs. Kelly, if It wasn't for \*f*rrtkin' so j often for better pay. ? Vancouver Province. Forewarned He ? And you will try to cook like mother used to? She ? Yes, dear, If you can stand Indigestion like father used to. ? Boston Transcript. Renew Y our Health by Purification Any physician will tell you that "Perfect Purification of the System is Nature's Foundation of Perfect Health." Why not rid yourself of chronic ailments that are undermin ing: your vitality? Purify your en tire system by taking a thorough course of Calotabs, ? once or twice a week for several weeks ? and see how Nature rewards you with health. Calotabs purify the blood by acti vating the liver, kidneys, stomach and bowels. Trial packapfejJO cts. Fami ly package, 35 cts. All dealers. (Adv.) EVIDENTLY SOME DOUBT A doctor, attending an old man, had Instructed the butler In the nrt of taking ffls master's temperature. Ore morning, on arriving at the house, the doctor ran Into the butler. "I hope." he said, "that your mas ter's temperature Is no higher?" "I was Just hoping that myself," said the butler, solemnly. "He died an hour ago." Appropriate "That Is an electrical plant." "Seems odd to call a building a plant." "No, It produces bulbs." ? Louis ville Courier-Journal. Friend* Hetty ? Isn't Lueile's ring she got for her birthday a fine example of the stone-cutter's art ! Letty ? Or the glass-blower's art. FIFTY-FIFTY lie was traveling in Italy. 1 wrote liome thus: "Am enjoying Florence Immense ly." "Don't hurry back," ^fplied his wife. "I'm having a pood time with GVorge." No Regional Monopoly Mrs. Peck (reading from paper) ? Ir says here that In some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until after he hiu^, tnnrried her. Mr. Peck (timidly) ? Why mention Africa? Evening Up Juror ? We acquitted him out of sympathy. Friend ? For his aged mother? Juror ? Oh, no, for' having such a lawyer. WERE CARRYING OUR END Earliest Elevators Elevators were first Invented t>y the Ilomnns- to bring wild beasts to thp arena from underground dens. Modern Hovitors are a scientific adaptation of that ancient principle Great Weight Lifted We feel bettor already. A New York paper reports that large-size diamonds are more in demand today than at any time In the last four years. ? Helena Independent Now! A Quicker Way to Ease Pain MARIE, TELE PHONE TO JACK > fAARSTON THAT I CAN'T GO TO THE BEAUX ARTS BAllTONIGHT ?VE A MOST TrRWlBUE HEADACHE OH. MISS SHIRLEY- < WHAT A SHAME 1 TRY 2 ?BAYER ASPIRIN FIRST - TM?Y WORK JOVAST IU. GET SOME NOW. MR. MARSTON IS WMriNG. YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT, N Miyy SHIRLEY ? 2. 30 MINUTES LATER PCRFSCTIV WONOCRVUL M THAT ArtARVELOUS BAVCR AJPIRIN ACTUALLY II STOPPED fAY HCAOACHG IN A FEW MINUTE'S! Here is quicker relief from pain ? the iastest safe relief, it is said, ever ;nown. This is due to a scientific discovery by which BAYER Aspirin starts "taking hold" of pain a few minutes after taking. The illustration of the glass here tells the story. A Bayer tablet starts to disintegrate or dissolve ? go to work ? almost instantly. This means quick relief from pain? fewer lost hours from headache, neuritis, rheumatism. And aafe relief. For genuine Bayer Aspirin does not harm the heart. When you buy, see that you get the genuine Bayer Aspirin. The best way is never to ask for aspirin by the name "aspirin" alone. But if you want Bayer Aspirin's quick relief always tfb sgy "BAYER Aspirin." Don't Forget Real Bayer Aspirin Starts "Taking Hold" in Few Minutes WHY BAYER ASPIRIN Drop a Bayer Tablet in a glass of water. Note that BEFORE It touches bottom, it has started to dis integrate. What it does in this glass it does in your stomach. Henc? its fast action. WORKS SO FAST ONCE OUR CAKES WERE VERY 5AD THAT'S WHEW TIMES' WERE HARD AND BAD hKing powd^ NOW WITH BETTER TIMES -YOU BET WE rAAKE OUR. CAKES WITH CALUMET Does Not Harm the Heart