The Wateree messenger. (Camden, S.C.) 1884-1942, October 05, 1932, Image 7
Fable of the
Criminal Outfit
86
By GEORGE ADE
?. 1111. Bell Byndlocut*. ? WNU Bervic*.
ONCE upon a Time a Business
Man named Kingsbury Gilpin
was riding on top of a Bus.
It was a bright, snappy Day,
with an early Harbinger of Frost in
the air and Mr. Gilpin had just booked
a large Order, so he was feeling top
high and Aces. It happened that
there was seated alongside of Mr, Gil
pin a Bird of stern Countenance who
didn't look as if he had a Smile left
lu stock, so Mr. Gilpin thought he
would try to cheer the lugubrious In
dividual by Chatting with him pleas
antly In regard to the Weather.
"It's a swell Day, ain't It?" asked
Mr. Gilpin, as he turned and faced the
Stranger.
"Aim ! J u st as I suspected !" ex
claimed the Party thus addressed.
"You have Llcker on your Breath.
You have been defying the Constitution
and By-Laws. I am a Special Officer,
assigned to the Department of Sniffing.
Come with me I**
"Nothing has passed by my Lips to
day except Cherry Phosphate," pro
tested Mr. Gilpin. "What you smell
Is a Special Preparation which I use
on my Hair. It contains a Percent
age of Alcohol."
"I never knew a Violator who didn't
try to pull an Alibi," said the Enforce
ment Officer. "Furthermore, you have
acknowledged your Guilt by owning
up to Possession. This is the most
important Capture I have made in
Weeks,"
Now it happened that while Mr.
Gilpin was being taken to the Uoose
gow, his elder Son named Wilfred was
only two Blocks away, with a Brief
Case under his arm. He was taking
a set of Contracts over to a Lawyer
to have a few Jokers Inserted. He
started to Whistle and a Cinder blew
into his Mouth.
Perhaps it was a Judgment from
Heaven.
Chip of the Old Block.
He spat it out. There Is no Law
against Whistling on a Public High
way, but any kind of Spitting, Cinder
or no Cinder, is Just the same as rob
bing the Ice Box in an Orphan Asylum.
Wilfred felt a pair of Strong Hands
gripping at his Wing-Pipe.
"Arrest this Man !" shouted one of
those Bystanders who is always ask
ing to have some one arrested.
Then a Policeman came ponderous
ly and struck Wilfred over the Head
with his Club, after which he inquired
as to the Facts in the Case. As sev
eral excited Spectators pieced together
all the Details of the Outrage, the Mob
which had collected, ' became uneasy
and then turbulent.
"Hang him! Hang him I" shouted
the furious Citizens.
"No!" exclaimed the Policeman,
fighting back the Crowd. "His Life
belongs to me."
Within a few Minutes after Kings
bury Gilpin had been chuckled into a
dark, subterranean Cavern reserved
for the more hardened Type of Offen
ders, the Steel Door clanged again and
Into the dark and suffocating Gloom
came another Prisoner, hurled with
great Force by the Rough Attendants.
Mr. Gilpin crawled over to wipe the
Blood from the unhappy Wretch and
recognized ? his Son !
"To what do you nttrlbute your
Downfall?" asked Wilfred of his
Father.
"Lax Discipline and unpardonable
Negligence on the Part of my Par
ents," replied Mr. Gilpin.
"Same here," said Wilfred.
Just then they heard the Chains
dragging again. A Key turned in the
cumbersome Lock. The bobbing Light
of a Candle showed the Skeleton Bars
in painful distinctness.
A stumbling Football and a dark
Figure was thrust Into the Dungeon.
The Newcomer felt his way along the
Wall and came Face to Face with
Mr. Gilpin. The two Men peered at
each other.
"Eugene !**
"Master 1"
It was Eugene Wellington, the Hired
Man.
"Yon here, Eugenn?"
"Yes, Master ? I!"
When Girls Leave Home.
"Speak, man! Be brave. It may
relieve yon to Confess."
"They've had Spotters at work since
Spring and at last they nabbed me.
I forgot to separate the Garbage from
the Ashes."
Two Honrs passed. The Gllplns
were trying to sleep and Eugene wns
weeping silently. It was the letter
who aroused his Companions.
"I^ook!" he said, "a Woman!"
Sure enough, the Guards were drag
glng down the Stone Stairway a fash
ionably-clad Young Woman whose
Hair would have been hanging down
her back In Confusion, except that It
had been Robbed.
"I didn't see It !** she shrieked. "I
was looking the Other Way."
"Tell that to the Judge," replied the
Turnkey, and pushed her Into the
Cell.
She saw the Men back In the Semi
Darkness and shrank from them in
Terror.
"Fear not,* *<tld Kingsbury Gilpin.
"We are Enemte* of Sdclety, hut w?
do not harm defenseless Girls."
"Father P
"Leonora lH
It was the Only Daughter of Kings
bury Gilpin, recently returned from*^
Finishing School on the State Road
leading from New York to! Boston.
After she had calmed down she told
her Story. It seemed that a Green
Light was showing and the Traffic Cop
had his Right Hand up, bo she made
a Left Hand Turn, whereas she should
have waited for a Blue Light and a
Left Hand Signal and then gone
Straight Ahead.
When she had concluded her Father
was convul?cd with Grief.
"I blame myself as much as 1 blame
you," he said, brokenly. "I heard all
of those. Stories about Finishing
Schools, but 1 wouldn't believe them."
It must have been along toward 8
p. m. when Mr. Gilpin was aroused
from an uneasy Slumber by Leonora,
who whispered to him : "Father, are
you strong? Are you brave?"
"Speak !"
"Who do you think Is here?"
"The Pastor of the Presbyterian
Church?"
"No, Anthony !"
A Terrible Night.
"My little Boy? My prattling, laugh
ing. innocent Anthorfy?"
"Yes, that is He lying on the Floor
over by the Doorway. They used the
Militia to bring him in."
"And what has he done to merit this
awful Disgrace?"
After they recovered from the first
Shock they discussed among Them
selves as to whether Mr. Gilpin should
put in a Plea of Insanity or have the
Chamber of Commerce, the Rotarlans
and other Organizations name a Com
mittee to call on the Governor and
ask for a Pardon.
It seemed that Ages had passed and
then the Guard brought them some
Water and Dry Bread. In Hotels and
Restaurants it often happens that Pa
trons are compelled to eat heavy and
Indigestible BVead, fresh from the
Bakery, but the Inmates of Penal In
stitutions always get it Dry.
Eugene Wellington had rolled up his
Coat and put it under Anthony's head
and the Boy was moaning pitifully.
All of the Others were silently
crouched about, immersed in mel
ancholy Reflections. Finally there
was Silence.
"He sleeps," whispered Eugene.
"It is well," said Kingsbury Gilpin,
softly, "for it will be a sad Awaken
ing."
"Hush ! What was that?"
"I heard naught."
"Yes, it Is the Shuffle of Feet and
the metallic Clangor of Prison Gates.
Another Soul Is doomed to Torture."
Enter Madame.
All of them listened. They heard
the Muffled Curses, the dull Reson-*
nnce of Steel against Steel and Words
of harsh Command.
Then a Scream. It was the hysteri
ca^ Cry of a Woman In Agony.
"Ruffians!" exclaimed Mr. Gilpin.
"They send a weak Woman to a Liv
ing Death and gloat over her suffer
ings."
He sprang to his Feet and shook
the massive Bars with the Fury of
a Madman.
"Brutes! Cowards!" he shouted.
Anthony awoke and began to Sob
with Fear.
It was a dirty Lay-Out, all around,
no matter what you say.
Two Guards staggered to the Door
way. They dragged between them a
Woman. She had fainted.
' In with her !" cried one burly At
tendant, hoarsely.
The Door opened and the reeling
Woman fell Into the Arms of Kings
bury Gilpin.
Tenderly he lifted the stray Locks
concealing her Face.
"My Wife!" he shrieked.
It is as the Reader has surmised
The new Prisoner was Mrs. Gilpin.
"Where am I?" she asked, faintly
as she opened her Eyes.
Here, with your Husband, and Wil
fred, and Leonora, and Anthony and
a so Eugene Wellington, the Hired
Man."
It all comes back to me now," she
said, in a weak voice. "I would have
compiled, at the first Request, but the
Woman who made the Complaint had
been using Henna and Wore Gold in
her Teeth and I wouldn't let that
Hussy get away with Anything. The
next Thing I remember, I was in the
Bine Wagon."
"What was It all about, Honey?"
asked Mr. Gilpin, tenderly.
Just as I told you. I was at the
Movies and failed to remove my Lld.H
MORAL: Those who have not yet
got it may do so nt nny Moment.
Long-Standing Dispute
Over Discovery of Tea
The discovery of tea seems to be
hidden In the mists of conflicting leg
ends. China places the discovery back
in 2700 II. C. ; Japan credits it to a
pious disciple of Buddha ; the monks
In Thibet were said to have discov
ered tea when they noticed the good
effect upon their goats from feeding
upon a strange glossy leaved plant.
Tea, after the people of the Orient
had enjoyed Its restful qualities for
many centuries, gradually found its
way to other sections of the world.
The Dutch brought ten to Europe In
1010 and the English beenme acquaint
ed with It In 1015. However. Arnhla
wan familiar with the beverago about
850 and the Venetlnns learned of it In
1559. Ten for a time sold In England
for from ?.10 to $50 a pound. The
leaves reached Russia In 1018 and ar
rived In America In 1050.
Accounting for Stuhblo
**Why does Stubble sit around all
day and never do any work?"
"When he wns a hoy his teacher
admonished her pupils: 'When In
doubt, don't'-- and Stubble being nl
ways In- doubt, Just don't I"
? 1 ? , ? ? " " '
Indistinct Memge That
\ Had Daddy "Sitting Up"
An Indianapolis man was accus
tomed to receiving a telephone call
from bis ten-year-old son each after
noon. The call came as usual on a^
recent day. ' #
"Hello, son, how Is everything at
home?" he began. , '
The reply was Indistinct, but
sounded as If the boy bad said:
"Mummy's bad sick."
Startled, the man held the receiver
more tightly. "She is? What's thje
matter with her?" ,v
**I don't know. She only ate half
a carrot and now she's eating grass."
This information was more star
tling' than ever. The man had suddeD
visions of his wife having lost her
mind and parading through the yard,
gnawing at grass.
"Listen, son, talk louder. Did you
say mother was sick?"
"Naw," came the disgusted reply,
"qot mother ? bunny." ? Indiana polls
News.
DUcouragiag tha Kicker
The mechanical farrier has ap
peared In the western states of Amer
ica for the handling of vicious steeds
brought in to be shod. The animal Is
placed In a rugged wooden frame
and haltered there. A sling operated
with a winch and rope cable then
lifts the horse until his feet barely
touch the floor. In this position the
outlaw Is practically helpless and
much of the fight already taken out
of hltn. A metnl clnmp ntnched to n
pipe arm Is then fastened around
the fetlock of the hoof to be shod,
and by means of gears controlling
the movement of the arm, the foot
Is raised to the position desired.
In th? Family
Cap ? Did you get his number?
Victim ? No-no J
Cop (to himself) ? Saints be
praised I Twbb my brother Mike in
th* car ! ? Brooklyn Eagle.
Her Shortcoming
"I can't get along with my wife.
All she does is ignore me."
"Ignore you?"
"Yes. And if there's anything I
hate, it's Ignorance."
MercolizedWax
Keeps Skin Young
a?t ea eenee eed ?w s? dirwtwl . Fine pertlelee e# e*wl
skin ixil oS unill *11 defoolo *uoh mm pimples, lire*
w>u. UB mod freokla* dluppur. Bkln U tK?a sols
Md Telrety. Your ItM look* ntrtnoi*. H?nollii<
*11 brU?a oat tte hiddaa bitaly of your skin. Te
M WrlnklM UN OM UUflM Fowdorod Buolit*
rred la o?? hi If pU> wifrsfc b?? 1. il dru? Mora.
Girls ll*ve Pun, tell your own and friends
fortune*. Horoscope and full directions with
Kuaranteed beautlfler and ihampoo. Bend
birt h date and 11. A. Lee. Bos SJ8. Sturgeon. Pa.
BOOK OF TEN ONC8CAL RECIPES. Mc.
Book of little dinner*. 60c. Formulas of
any kind. He. J. KELLY. 6 53 DIMS
BANK BUILDING. DBTHOIT. MICHIOAN.
THE WAY TO KEEP BUSINESS GOING
BETTEK. send for "Your Task and Our
Task." It's free. Writ# Chamber of Com
merce, Midas, Nevada.
Halcemcn sell merchants Aluminum Cam*
palcn Emblei.is for Automobiles. Write for
namplen and Information on other Items.
HANOVEK SALES CO.. HANOVER. PA.
t? PROPERTY OWNERS
TODAY a letter came to my desk that
deeply impressed me. It was written
by a woman ? the mother in a typical
American family. Her little home had
been saved from foreclosure by a coat of
new paint, for which a part of their meager
savings had been paid.
Those few gallons of fresh paint had so
revived the appearance and enhanced the
value of the property that the mortgagee
had consented to renew the loan . . . and
the little home was saved.
I could not help thinking of the thousands
of homes and buildings that are shabby
and unattractive today due to several years
of neglected painting; of the millions of
home owners who, because of reduced
incomes and enforced economy, have been
obliged to sacrifice painting for taxes, in
terest, assessments, to say nothing of food,
clothing, heat and other essentials of com
fort and health.
You have seen these paint-starved houses
and buildings, as have I. They are every
where about you. Perhaps your home is
included.
Do you understand what they signify? Do
you realize what will happen to wood or
metal that is literally naked of paint if these
houses and buildings face the attack of
another season of rain, snow, ice, and frost?
Never in the history of our country has
the situation been paralleled. Property
owners face an added burden of expense
amounting to millions of dollars for repairs
and replacements next spring.
And the crisis, in my opinion, will be
reached this coming winter when paint of four,
five, and even six years exposure to the
weather will be unable to resist the elements
? when badly weathered wood and metal
will be easy prey for rot, rust and decay.
T oday the big question facing thousands of
property owners is plain. It is " paint or
pay . " Either you must invest a little this fall
in new paint or you must take the risk of
paying many times the cost of paint to
repair the damage done by rot, rust and
decay this winter.
Even at the sacrifice of other things, have
your house or buildings completely
repainted now. No investment you can
make will pay better dividends. And nothing
you can buy will make you and your family
feel so uplifted and cheerful.
If you cannot arrange to do a complete repaint
ing job now, at least give the badly weathered
places a coat or two of protecting paint .
Look especially, to the window sills, thresh
olds, outdoor porches and steps; the joints
of porch railings and palings; the bases of
pillars; the edges of eaves; the roof; the
gutters and down spouts. These are the vital
spots where water lodges ? where ice and
frost settle ? where rot and rust attack first.
A few dollars' worth of good paint, applied
now, will protect these vital spots ? will tide
you over this crucial winter. And it will
probably save you a much greater expense
for repairs and replacements next spring
and summer.
Under existing conditions, you may be
tempted to buy a cheap paint because of
its low price. I hope you will not make
this costly mistake.
Even on sound lumber, inferior paint is a
goor bargain. But on weathered wood,
which is very porous, such paint is worse
than useless. It gives you a false feeling of
security and leaves you without protection.
Prices of well-known, established brands
of paint are now the lowest in fifteen years.
Enough good, dependable paint can be
purchased for a few dollars to protect all the
badly weathered surfaces on your building.
Again I repeat, do a complete job this fall
if you can. But at least do the vital exposed
places before it is 44 too late.*'
PrtiUtHt
TUB HHHRWIN W1I.I.IAMH CO.
This message to the property owners of America is spon
sored by the following paint manufacturers and their dealers:
t
ACME WHITE LEAD AND COLOR WORKS
DETROIT WHITE LEAD WORKS
W. W. LAWRENCE A CO.
w
LINCOLN PAINT & COLOR CO.
THE LOWE BROTHERS CO.
JOHN LUCAS & CO., INC.
THE MARTIN -SENOUR CO.
PENINSULAR PAINT A VARNISH CO.
THE SHERWIN-WILLIAMS CO.
\