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ft a-_Pinkey's ! Romance i By F. A. MiTCHEL Lz1 dou' know wha' inak' one woman 1 Jealous ob auiulder. 'Spec* dey dou' i look at it do ripht way. Dere ain't no | better way to pit ebon wid a man J what do yo' ba'm dan to turn hiui ober to anudder woman, specially when | yo' hab de choosin' ob dut udder j wo mail. i \YLe:i I war a gal an* didn't hab 110 sense Pete Tucker come cou'tin' me. | Nobody badn' talked lub to me befo', 1 an' I war do mos' pleased gal yo* cber' see. I jis* felt I wanted to Inf all de time. Yali, yah. didn't I feel flue! "Pinker." said missis, savs she. "yo" | got to de uios' beautifal time ob yo'; life, de time of romance." "Don'l know wha* dat is," I says.! says 1. "but it's might' nice to hab a , young man tellin' yo-' dat yo' one ob ; de angels jls' dropped out o' henben.'* | "I hope yo' an' yo' fiaucay be berry ' happy togedder." says missis, "when. yo' maaried." "Wha's a flancay?" "Vn ilniMviv la Pete." "Ob:" says I. "Reckon de happiness : las' till de doo' ob heaben open an' j s tak' us In." "Yo" mustn't expect dat de romance i las' all de time," says missis. "Dere, mus' be interruptions." De fits' interruption happen hefo' de weddin'. .Missis gib me a wdtcb for Christmas. It war de prettiest little watch yo' eber see. De price war ma'kcd on de box it come in, an' I knowed it cost $r?. One day when Pete an' I war a-settin' so close togedder dat yo' couldn't git a piece ob tissue paper between us I war wearin mnh watch around inuh neck. Pete tuk it in he ban' an' said dat it war de raos' beautiful watch he eber see. I3d opened de case to see de wo'ks an fooled wid 'em till de watch dldn' go no mo'. Pete war mighty troubled at stoppin' me watch an' said he tak' it to de jewrtier's to hab it fixed. Ho war gwine , to bring it back de next day. Dat war de las' I eber see ob ma I Landr U tier aw, at auction to the h driving horses, alsi price as we will po price. Stock can Lan tlon to de happiness oh me an' Pete. I didn' say nothin', an' I didn' do nothin'. I'ote sot wo'k in anudder town, aji' I didn' see him no nio' fo' a Ions time. While Pete war away de romance missus talked about war dribblin' out ol? me. an' de ha'd sense Ink do shell oh de coeoanut war pott in' inside. One day Pete come back. lie didn' come near me: he dodped me when he sor nie ooniin'. takin' anudder cou'se t'rough de alleys Here war a woman named Liz dat 1 knowed. She'd been in de calaboose fo' sbavin' de cheek off lier husban' will a razor 1 went to Liz an' I says: "I?ey say Pete Tucker come back wid a lot oh money He tuns' a-been speckerlatin' or somepin. Some pal ouphter hob de spendin' oh dat money " w-n.. >i>t iifitv <nv? r i-/ "Murr.v liim. ob cose." I says. Nm' day 1 meets Pete. an" I says: "Pete. yo' iieo.iii' dodge me. I pot olter de romance pa't ?>l? ma life I don' want to marry nobody. Seen Liz Brown lately?" "No. I babn" sor Liz." "Dey say I.iz fader died an' lef her foil' hand red dollars." Dere wa'n't tio use sayin* any mo'. De fits' tliinp I knowed I'ete an' I.iz war lildn' topedder as man and wife, thoupli I liadn' heard ob no divorce between Liz an' lier fus' hiisltan'. I jist larfed till I ihoupht I would hab a lit. I'd bad de romance; now it war Pete's turn to hal? it. Ma aunt. Sue Baker, a wash lady, libed opposite wbar Pete an' lie new anpel just out ob hen ben? yah. yah!? war spendin' de honeymoon. I says tu tna aunt: "Aunt, yo' pot a powerful bis wash dis week. Don' yo' want me t?i help yo'?" Ma aunt said sfhe didn't want me till I toP her I don' want no wages. Den she tuk me in. De secon day after I come to ma aunt's I hearn de happy couple opposite, yah. yah, yellin' at each udder, an' fust thing 1 knowed I hearn a crash. I reckoned Liz war n-breakiu' a cheer olter Pete's head, fo' de do' opened, an' Pete rushed out us if a ha'nt war behin' him. followed by Liz wid de back ob a broke cheer in her ban*. She cotched Pete by de coat, but lie lef' it off. Den she tuk hold ob he sblrt. and it war woolen. an' it held. She jumped on hiui wid bofe feet, an' he made a noise ]ak a calf carried away from de nuidder cow. I war jteekln* frou do blln's. fo' If 1 let 'em see me dey would bofe lef each udder an' Jumped on to me fo' bringin' 'em togedder In de romance. But 1 kUCT I um, Cudd c will sell a carload < S. C., i ighest bidder. Yoi r\ cr\mp rrr?rw^ hrnn^ <J O \J 111 V V/V/U k/l V/VV4 sitively have no bybe seen before sale < Reme * Sale Begins Proi drum, anu vj Jes* laft'd an* lafcd till ma clo'se split open in do l>a<ic. "Who" yo' latin' at?" axed ma aunt. "Dnt niptrn' eo'ted mo an' toP uiodat I was au impel just stej?pod out ob boaboii. Dim bo tuk ma watch what missus pib mo for Christmas box. I tol' IJz ho pot a lot ob money, an' I ' tol' him sho pot a lot ob money. Reck1 on ho won't tak' no mo' watches ob ,! me. Yah. yah! Look!" Ma tiunt [looked frou' do blin's an' saw Liz an' Pete tooken off to de sta, | tion fo* disturbin' de peace. One policeman had Pete by do collar, sbovin' him alonp. an' nnnridcr had Liz by de a'm. ; drappin' her. while a crowd war fol ; low in'. s!io:iti;i* demsi'l'fs hoa'se. Tall; about belli" Jealous ob anudder woman! la- way fo' a sal wha' bah a grudge ag'in a man is to tnak' a match fo* him wid de uiil v?ha* got de wus temper sh? kin tin' An *S.-),OAO Wallop! i Some slam! The most expensive ever made! When Harry Hooper of the Red Sox slammed the ball into the centre field J bleachers in the ninth inning of the last game he won the world's champion i ship for his team mates, but lost sometthing like $42.5no for his employer, j and a like amount for the owner of the Philadelphia team?about $85,00o in all! That whopping hit of Hooper's end. ed the series. It made a sixth game , unnecessary It meant that over ?80.; 000 which was in a safe lip in Boston, 1 where it had been paid for reservations for that sixth game, will have to be returned to the fans. Tough on Baker and Lannin?the owners. As you know, the receipts for the first four games of world's series, less to per cent for the National Conimisi sion. are shared with theplavers. The receipts lor all gaqies over four go to the owners of the clubs alone. Who said baseball wasn't honest? New Zealand. New Zealand was named by Dutchmen after the district. In Holland, of Sealnnd or Zeeland. The Proper Weapon. "I'd like to drive that old miser to terms." "Then why not ijse a screw driver?"?Baltimore American. * -4? ' ' ' ION OF \nd Godfrey jf good Tennessee F Saturday, 1 will finrl nmoncr th mares. This will b< -bidders, and everyl it Gregory's Stables. mber the Place am nptly At 11 o'cloc Cudd I regrory The Comparison. Dropping into the Garrick club ono nftornoon. Charles Brookfield. the dramatist, found a well known actor, who happened to he playing David Garrick at the tliue. reclining in a chair right under the portrait of the immortal "Davy." Brookfield stopped In front of him and looked first at the J portrait and then at the man. "By Jove, old fellow." he exclaimed at last, "you grow more and more like Garrick every day!" "Do you really think so. Brookfield?" returned the delighted victim. "Yes." came the crushing retort, "and less and less like him every night"?London Tati2r. A "Cou'ee." The term "coulee" is generally applied throughout the northern tier of states to any steep sided gulch or wni ter channel and at times even to a | stream valley of considerable length. I The term was doubtless derived from the French verb couler. meaning to ; flow. This use of "coulee" should not he confused with the geologic' use of the word, which signifies a solidified | stream or sheet of lava.?Northern Pacific Guidebook. United States Geolog; ical Survey. j A Sure Sign. ] A stranger In New York city being a j trifle late at an uppolntment explained to his friend that it was because he i had got lost, hut he added. "I mot a lady on the street, u teacher, who told me the way." / "IIow do 3*oii know she was a teach er?" "Because she told me twice."?New I York Independent. I II INVITING TROUBLE. I! | J. * -- Sorrows are visitors that com# II without invitation, but complain- .. ** ing minds send a wagon to bring ** their troubles home in by the .. load. Many people are born cry- . II ing, live complaining and die dis- II * appointed. They chew the bitter pill which they would not even .. know to be bitter if only they I? ** had the sense to swallow it ** whole in a cupful of patience and t ? ??? f i 1 t-i T J. nice, pure wai?r^-vnari?a I, .j. T Spurgeon. '*! Il l 1 ! 11 1111|1 mill 1 11 I W| SALE ? and Gregory Iorses and Mares at Novemt e load some extra e your chance to buy thing put up will be d Date k, Rain or Sbine k Godf JLJ1U5. \ Decimals and Duodecimals. Ilerbert Spencer offered n characteristically original system of reckoning. He clung to the duodecimal system, mainly because twelve can bo divided by threo and four as ten cannot. But he suggested that all the advantages of both systems might be combined by making twelve the basis of calculation. in vein ni ? two uew uigus iu uis.e iuc places of ten and eleven and making twelve times twelve the hundred. Si>encer scornfully remarked that the decimal system rests solely on the fact that man has ten fingers and ten toes. If he had had twelve "there never would have l>een any difficulty."?London Chronicle. THK COLDS OF MANKIND CURED BY PINES! Have you ever gone through a typl-* ;cal pine forest when you had a cold? jWliat a vigorous impulse it sent! How you opened wide your luhgs to take in those invigorating and mysterious qualities and overcomes hacking cough The inner lining^ of the throat is strengthened in its attack against cold germs. Every family needs a bottle constantly at hand. 25c. Styles of Architecture. In their architecture the Moresquestrove for the negation of the weight altogether. The Egyptian placed the weight firmly on the ground; the Greek lifted it up in the air with an assertion of graceful power. The Roman , confused weight and support; the Byzantine represented weight without support: the Moor suggested that there was no weight ut all. Old English Bribery. , , Bribery, according to an expert on the subject, first became a recognised, mode of securing votes In the reign of Charles I. It was afterward Improved upon by George III., who lost no opportunity of enforcing its claims as a good vote getter. "If," he wrote to hi* chief adviser on one occasion, "the Duke of Northumberland requires souiei gold pills for the election it would be* wrong not to satisfy him." The king was not altogether sebish in this uiat> ter of spending money, lor the gold pills came out of bis own medicine chest, the civil list, whereas his successors drew upon the secret service .ft > cash for the corruption of the voters*- * * * I LES Bros. >er 6th, nice saddle and one at your own sold regardless of 1 ' rey \ / /