The Clinton chronicle. (Clinton, S.C.) 1901-current, August 21, 1924, Image 11
: THE JEDGE’S JOSH ;
!♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Every Fellow To His Trade
Amateur Astronomer: “The sun is
more than 93 million miles from
here.”
New Car »Owner: “Does that in
clude detours?”
An Example
Meek Mel: “I just do the best I
can, day by day, and let it go at that.
No man was ever perfect.”
Boss: “Oh, yes, there was.”
Meek Mel: “Who?”
Boss: “My wife's first husband.”
den produce, finally fell in love, and
this was r ‘what he wrote to his lady
love:
“Can you learn to carrott all for
me?. My heart beets for you, the
apple of my eye. Lettuce marry and
be a happy pear. I have bean wait
ing long for you.”
Obliging
“How much are your eggs.”
“Thirty cents a dozen.”
“Goodness! How reasonably- You
know down our way dealers are
charging twice that much for them.”
“Sixty cents per dozen is all right
with me, stranger—if it will make
you feel any more at home.”
THE CLINTON ^ CHRONICLE, CUNTON. S. C.
DIPAOVED UMFOUT RVTERNAHONAL
PAGE E
At Training Camp
Officer of the Day: “The liberty
of the camp is denied all for the
day.”
Rear Rank Voice: “Gimme liberty (
or gimme death.”
Officer: “Who said that?”
Another Voice: “Patrick Henry.”
In Her Stepe
Visitor: “My, but you are a fine
little girl. What are you going to
do when you grow big like your
mother.”
Dorothy: “Diet.”
the
Reason Enough
» Judge: “Why did you strike
telegraph operator?”
7 Defendant: “I handed him a tele
gram for my girl and what did he
do but start reading it.”
—- The Boy Waa Right „
Teacher: “Spell ‘shirt’.”
Littie Boy: “Sh-h-h-s-h ”
Teacher: “Yes—yes—the next let
ter is easy. What have I on each
aide of my nose?”
Little Boy: “I can’t hardly see
from here, but I think it's powder.”
That’s Fair Enough
Father: “You heard me when I
called you this morning!” '•
Son: “Yes'ir.”
Father: “Then why didn't you an
swer?”
Son: “Well, sir, I couldn’t think of
a thing to say.”
A Sporty Course
First Flea: “Where did Sam and
Pete go?”
Second Flea: “Over on the lynx to
play golf.”
watch
' Just Like That
Jeweler: “When did your
stop?”
Customer: “When it hit the floor.”
Purdy’s Philos
“Only a pin can get av/ay with a
double course—of being pointed one
way and headed another.”
Convicted
Professor: “A fool can ask ques
tions that a wise man cannot an
swer.”
Student: “Now I know why I fail
ed in the examination.”
Blonde Bess Opines
“I should worry—even a mighty
oak was once a nut.”
Back At Him
Phlipp: “A-little knowledge is a
dangerous thing, you know?”
Stedy: “Man—your shoulders are
sure supporting a ton o’ gun-pow
der.”
Ah—A Man’s Man
Mother: “Was your husband cool
when the burglar was discovered in
your homo?”
Young Bride: “Oh, yes, very cool.
Why—'er—he was actually cold. I
could see him shivering.”
Forgers Baffled
living man can forge
Funeral Held For
Aged Laurens Man
W. Benton Fuller, of Cross Hill, Dies
At Ripe Age of 84. Was Con
federate Soldier.
Laurens, Aug. 17—Funeral servi
ces were held this afternoon at Cross
Hill Baptist church for the late W.
Benton Fuller, Confederate soldier
and prominent Laurens county citi
zen, who died Saturday afternoon.
Following the church service, which
was conducted by Rev. Jodie A. "Mar
tin, former pastor of the Cross Hill
Baptist church, of which Mr. Fuller
was one of the leading as well as
one of the most useful members, in
terment was made at Liberty Springs
church cemetery.
Mr. Fuller, in an accidental fall
Thursday, sustained a broken hip and
he never recovered from the shock.
Pomp: “No „
my name to a check and get it cash- ! He was 84 V**™ of *8® an d ha d s P ent
>» ; his long and useful life in the Cross
Wyman: “You must have an unus- section,
ual signature.” I For many years Mr. Fuller was
Pomp: “No—no money in the magistrate of Cross Hill township.
bank.”
Definite
Tourist": “Hi, neighbor,
does this road go?”
Native: “Oh, first one place
then another.”
Where
an
Vegetarian Courtship
Benjamin Burdick, a dealer in gar-
He is survived by his wife and the
following children: Mrs. Dick Young,
of Milton; Mrs. Lila Austin-, Mrs.
Conway Dial, Hugh Fuller, and Mrs.
Henry Rasor, all of Cross Hill; and
the following step-children: J. W.
Spearman of Greenwood; Mrs. J. B.
Leverefte of Starr, and Mrs. J. J.
Poole-of Greenville.
Assistant
November
JOHN M. DANIEL
GREENVILLE, S. C.
CANDIDATE FOR
Attorney General
OF SOUTH CAROUNA
Am Asking Advancement
Endorsed by Greenville Bar Asso
ciation and Greenville County Dem
ocratic Convention.
Your influence and support will be
8"*% appreciated.
Political Advertisement Paid
WHOLE BODY SEEMED
IN ONE AWFUL PAIN
Morse, La.—Mrs. L. P. Lam
bert, who has been a popular
school-teacher here for several
Fears, recently told a visitor of
her interesting experiences with
Gardui.
“Just before my . • . came
on,” said Mrs. Lambert, "1 would
ache all over. My feet, my toes,
my arms, hands, head—my whole
body seemed to be in one awful
pain. I would grow so nervous
that I could not hold a cup in my
hand. My husband would have
to hold my coffee for me to
drink., Last fall I was in such a
bad condition that J had to spend
about three days in bed every
month. It seemed to me that I
was on my last go-round.”
Then one day, said Mrs. Lam
bert, she happened to read about
Cardui and the experiences of
some women who had been
helped by it 4 T felt that Cardui
wight help m# if I tried ft,” she lit
continued, “for I had been suf
fering with similar troubles to
those mentioned there. I had
heard of Cardui all my life and
I knew many women who said
they had been helped by it The
very next day I began to take it
“Very soon after, I began to
notice my improvement I kept
on till I felt like a different
woman. I gained in weight from
98 pounds to 115 and felt better
than I had in years. I took six
bottles right along and found, It
a splendid tonic. My suffering
was partly due to a run-down
condition and the Cardui stimu
lated my appetite and helped me
to gain the strength I needed.
. . . I take a bottle every now
and then, even now, just as a
tonic to keep up my strength,
but I am in better health than
I have been in for years.”
All druggists sell Cardui. Try
Lesson
(By RBV. p. B. PITZWATBR, D.D.. D**a
of the Evonlng School, Moody Bible Insti
tute of Chicago.)
«P. 1»I4, W. it era New.paper Union.)
Lesson for August 24 ;
*
JESUS TALKS 3 WITH NICODEMUS
LESSON TEXT—John 1:1-11.
OOLOEN TEXT—"For Ood bo lovod
tho world, that Ha gava His only be
gotten Son, that whosoever belleveth
In Him should not perish, but have
everlasting life."—John f:lt.
PRIMARY TOPIC—Nlcodemua Vlelte
Jesua.
JUNIOR TOPIC—The Vlelt of Nlco
demua
INTERMEDIATE AlfD SENIOR TOP-
JC—What It Means to Bedome a Chris
tian.
YOUNO PEOPLE AND ADULT TOPIC
—Tile New Birth.
Tho subject of the conversewith
Nlcodemua waa the new birth. Thla
topic had peculiar significance In the
light of Nlcodemua* station In life,
He waa a learned rabbi, a doctor of
the law and presumably a man of
good character. Hla coming by night
Indicates hla timidity. Like Joseph of
Arimathaea le waa afraid td &penly
espouse the cause of the new Teacher
of Galilee lest be be put out of the
synagogue. .
1. The Necessity of the New Birth
(tv. 1-T).
It Is not a matter of choice as to
whether one la to be bofn again but
of neceaslty If be Is ever to see the
Kingdom of Ood. Regeneration Is tha
first demand tha Gospel of Christ
makes upon men. Tbs reasons for this
art:
L The Kingdom of God Is a spirit
ual Kingdom; therefore there must
be ■ spiritual birth in order to enter
It (v. 8). Aa we enter the phyalcal
kingdom by a natural birth, so we en
ter the Kingdom of God by a supers
natural birth.
2. The nature which we get through
the natural birth Is radically and es
sentially bad. Christ declares that
that which Is born of the flesh is flesh
(v. 6). In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul
gives a catalogue of the works of the
flesh. The flesh cannot be improved
(Jer. 13:28). Culture and educate, do
all you please, and It still remains
flesh. Furthermore, in order to enter
into the kingdom of heaven there must
bo a nature fitted for heaven. There
Is nothing that can be substituted for
the new birth. Men are trying to Sub
stitute morality and education for the
new birth. Nicodemns possessed these;
yet Christ declared that he needed
something more. Regeneration Is the
act of Ood through the Holy Spirit
which quickens a man from spiritual
death and plants within him God’s
own nature (II Pet. 1:4).
II. The Mystery of the New Birth
(w. 8-13).
Ils process is mysterious, but Its re
sults are definite. You may not be
able to discern from whence the wind
cometh or whither It goeth, hut you
know that It blows by Its effects. The
fruit of our lives demonstrates our
nature, whether It Is heavenly or car
nal. We need not he told that we have
a physical birth for our bodies with
their various faculties In exercise
prove It. Even so the presence within
us of a nature which has no affinity
for ttie things of the world, a strong
affection for God and a disposition to
yield prompt obedience to His com
mands. proves that we have been born
from above. Galatians 5:22, 23, is an
Infallible test.
III. Tha Ground Upon Which ths
Now Birth Reata (vv. 14-18). ^
Christ's atoning death on the cross
makes regeneration possible, lie took
the place of sinners. His Infinite merit
was placed to their account. He suf
fered In the sinners’ stead. Just as the
Israelites had only to look on the
brazen serpent In the wilderness so
the sinner must look to Christ rpllfted
upon the cross. See Num. 21:4-9, John
12:32, II Cor. 5:21, I Pet. 2:24. Our
salvation cost on the part of God the
giving up of His only begotten Sou
and on the part of Christ the suffer
ings and shame of the cross.
IV. For Whom Salvation Was Pru-
vidod (vv. 16, IT). “Whosoever be
lleveth on Him.”
These verses give In a condensed
form the whole plan of salvation. Ob
serve:
1. The Source—God so loved.
2. The Ground—the death ot
Christ.
3. The Recipients—whosoever.
4. How Appropriated—believing in
Him.
6. Results—should not perish ; ever
lasting life.
V. Men's Attitude Toward Christ
(yv. 18-21).
1. Some Believe and Are Saved.
Those who believe are now free from
condemnation (John 5:24).
2. Some Will Not Follow and Are
Resting. Therefore, Under ths^ Con
demnation of God. The cause of their
unbelief In Him Is tbelr love of sin.
The Confidence
The
I
1
1
1
in
1
No institution can gain the confidence of the com
munity without becoming an inherent part of it, liv
ing its life, sharing its interests, taking part in its acti
vities and working for its welfare and prosperity.
From the time of our establishment we have striv-
en to justify the confidence placed in us by our cus
tomers. Qur organization is such as to enable us to
serve financial requirements of the utmost magnitude
with the same ease and efficiency with which we han
dle the most modest savings account.
In commercial banking, in personal banking, check
ing and savings accounts, our facilities are more than,
ample to meet your requirements. There is no service
too small and none too large within the province of
our business which we are not ready and willing to per
form for any individual in Clinton or this community.
If you have no account with us we especially invite
you on our record of national banking service and
safety.
3
i
Tlie First Nations
“CLINTON’S STRONGEST BANK”
“Speculation Vs. Certainties”
When they unked the dying Fara
day, “what are your speculations?” he
replied that be was not “pillowing his
head on tny^Hpeculatlons.’’ Bald he,
‘T know whom I have believed, and
•m persuaded that He is able to keep
that which I have committed to Him
against that day.”—Exchange.
hi
Lead tbe Way
Wie best way to lead your boy te
heaven Is to go that ayiyt youreeltr-
Wdktera Christian Advocate
1
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nr
Lit
rente
our Clutch"
Buy the best oil
but buy it by name,
and the name is
"Standard” Polarine
of sight, out of mind, lady^, says the old-
time Fleet Boss. “You've got to remember
to keep your clutch collar lubricated, keep your
clutch adjusted right, and have the clutch cleaned
out occasionally, even if you can’t see it work. If
you let it slip along, you waste power. If it grabs,
you strain your whole car. Adjustment and the
right oil will cut down these trips to the shop.”
“Standard” Polarine oils in the motor also lubri
cate most clutches properly without extra atten
tion. A little neats foot oil on your leather cone
clutch will ease the grabbing. There are other
"Standard” lubricants for clutch collars and wet
type clutches. While “Standard” Polarine motor
oils deservedly outsell every other brand in thl*
state, they are by no means the only “Standard”
products you need to know. “Standard”-izc your
lubrication throughout for real satisfaction.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey)
STAN DAR D
Three
one correct for your
motor. Goneult your
dealer's Polarine
chart —ahreya
Oilsjou can (Trust I