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The Greatest Subscription Offer Ever made n Tis cckly ti l Ia&titut&.1 and n~n ]Fhe Manntkin T1ime The TriwW ieey Constitution Is The Farmers' Every-Other-Day Paper There Are Three Numbers Each ieer .4Q- Fiel SUM Best Matter (1.) MONDAY.-The news of greatest interest. The Farmers' (3.) W. D. .-Tie Balance of the news. All the news. The Union Department, conducted in the interest of the great coopera- Woman's 11 de, the Children's page, conducted by genial Aunt tive order that is seeking to solve the farmer's economie, education- Suisie he o f all the hoime writers. al and practical problems. The Farm and Farmers' Department, Every n of The Tri-Weekly gives the market reports. of the condu9cted by Colonel R. J..Redding. two anys mterval between issues and keeps one posted right up to (2.) WEDNESDAY.-The news of course. The R. F. D. Carriers' the Ino-ent our press turns. An instalment of the month's story Department, The Chicken Column and The Letter of Travel, giving from the great "150,000 set ()f serials. A half page set of comics from views of strange peoples and their home-land customs. some of the greatest humonst artists of the day. Clubbed With The TritWekly Constitution We Have Of uC 1Cv A MRI a. dr The irst page slows a splendid colored county may of (2.) The second sheet represents mars in beaiutifil i representing ti:( :.ssions of territory. It also shows por - all the data that can colors of Alaska, and of all eur Insuh;:r an.] Coonial tws' - traits of the rulers of the world. It gives also a topographie bo'tNohanSoutCa hsions, and a map of the npubi o Pama. a spi relief mian of the Russo-Japanese war with the history of it well be shown on the face of a map. It is beautifully United States map. About the iorder of this ileet we give from the severance of the diplomatic relations. Printed in colors on new plates prepared especially for The The Library Wall Charts are all bound together at the (3.) This sheet gives a complete world map, with the top with metal strip and hanger, and thus f-m a splendid Constitution. lands and waters of the globe projected 'without divisions and convenient reference encyclopedia of everything pre into hemispheres. It shows also a map of the United States sented. F in ddtin To This, e OMr Free To F E Old And New SubsceZhers m E THREE MONTHLY VAAZINES F MERIT F-AgJ I New s SPARE MOMENTS, A Magazine of Inspiration for the Ambitions of Both Sexes HUMAN LIFE, Edited By Alfred Henry Lewis Which has been standing for the farmer and the farm home Spare Moments is the best magazine ever published at hWhen you subscribe for Human Life you know exactly for twenty-five years, and it is said to go into more actual the price. In the rst year of its existence it. juped to magazine in America that is devoted entirely to people, not foirculationO of a quarter of a million a month. For 1906-07 maaiei mrc ta sdvtdetieyt epe o farm homes, in proportion to circulation, than any other pa- spare Moments presents a literary programne unexcelled b tgs ot prosy or puny people but men and women who farmhoms, n PopotiontO irclatonbulk big in the public eye, men and women who are doing per published in America. any azie urit " The Lasts of the a things that are bringing them fame or fortune. series of articles under the title, "'The Last Days of the Con There are departments for all phases of farm life, each federacy." These articles will contain the personal remiins- It is crisp, breezy and entertaining. A dull line is its containing the best that goes. cences of Mrs. Jefferson Davis. worst enemy. And With A4 These THREE CONSTflUTIONS A W EEK, D THREE MIA5AZINEES AONT, W& Give, your own,- Hosna County Paper, wih h a s nt of news and county happenings, legal notices, and all' for . . OURa G4EAT PRO FOflSTION IS -a S o c1 00 - aRemember, The Tri-Weekly Constitution, Monday, Wednesday Humaek CnsLiueo, Yearly Subscription Price-----------.5 F4~ X~ or' Tr-ee..Cntiuioc ....... - 0 -0I and Friday, three times a week, for one year and all of the above pHuman Life, Yearly Subscription Price ...-......... - ---- ----- 25 splendid papers and the maps for - Sare Moments, Yearly Subscription Price ... ----- .25 -5-T- - - Farm News, Yearly Subscription Price ....l.. ....l - - -- - $2.50 ONLY TWO DOLLA0RS AND '"-co S2.50 YuHoe PaperYearly .Subsct io1 Pric.......... 1 - 0 - reSend at once. Get right on. Don't miss a copy. Address all $4.00 THE MANDG TIMES, Manning S. C. IaamasmE ALCOLU RAILROD. .AILY EXCEPT SUNDAYS Effective May 1st, 1908. NORTHEAST.-READ DOWN. SOUTHWEST.-READ UP. No0.1 No.3.1.No.5. STATI . 'No.2. N. 4. 'No. 6. Mixed. Mixed, Mixed. =xed. d. Mixed. A. M. P. M. P. M. 200 745 ........ 0 Lv.........Alcolu...............Ar 25 S0 . 205 750 ........ 2 ...........McLeod*.............23 74................ 215 SO ........ 5 ...............Harby* ............. 20 740 ................ 220 S 05........ ..........D tant*.......... IS 7 35 1 ... ..... 2 45 830 ........ 12 ............. Sardinia............. . 13 7 10 ........ ........ - 2 55 8$40 ........ 14 .............N. ew Zion* ............. i1 7 00 ........ ........ 300 845 ........ 15 ...............Bearde................ 10 655........... 315 900 1........17. ................ eloc.* ........... 8 6 40 400 945 ........ 21 ...............Hudson*......... 41 615............. - 430 1015 ........ 25 Ar..............Beulah............Lv 0 6 00 ............ * All stations except Beulah and Alcolu are flag stations for all trains. Mondays, No. 2. - Fridays, No. 1. Tueedays. No. 1. Saturdays, No. 2. and No. 3. Wednesdays. No. 2 and No. 3. . Thursdays, No.2. R. P. ALDERMAN, Trafflic Manager. BRING YOUR MJOB WORK3E TO THE TIMES OFFICE. NORTHWESTERN R. R. OF S. C. Notice of Discharge. TIME TABLE No. 6, 1 will aoply to the Jage of Probate In Effect Sunday, June 5, 1904. for Clarendon County on the 24th day December, 1906, for letters of discharcre BETWEEN SUMTER AND CAMDEN. as Executrix of the estate of Robert S. Mixed, Daily except Sunday. Fleming, deceased. Southbound. Northbound. ROBERTA E. FLENfl"4G, No. 69 No. 74 No. 70 N'o. 68 PM AM AM PM New Zion, S. 0., November 24, 1906. 625 936 Lve..Sumter..Ar.9 O0 545 6 27 9-38 N.W. Junction....S 58 -543 6 47 959........Dalzel . 822 513 7 05 1010........Borden ......800 4 T ax rn 7 23 10 21........Rembert's...7 40 4 43 730 1031........Ellerbe......730 4 Officeof 7 50 11 10..So. Rv. Junction. .7 10 4 25 S 00 11 10 Ar...Camden..Lve7 00 4 15 County Auditor Clarendob County PM PM AM PM Manning, S. C., Dec. 27, 1906. BETWEEN WILSON'S flLLANDSU The Auditor's office will be ope Southbound. Northbound. from the 1st, day of January 1907, tc No.73 Daily except Sunday. No.72 the 200, day of February 1907, to re PM PM e 3 00 Leave......Sumter ...Arrive.. I' ce t real estae and person 303.......Summerton Junction... 12 27 property in Clarendon county for tbe 3 20............... Tindal...........11 55 year 1907. 335...............Packsville..... 4130 3 55...........Silver...... .........11 00 1 Tax payers return what t own on ...........Millard..............j 10 45 the first day of January 1901. .5~ ~ ~ 31f ... 10 :! All returns must be sworn to and nc 4 45...............Summerton ..........1015 5 25...............Davis............. 4 return will be considered either by th 5 45...............Jordan ............... 945 County Auditor or boards of assessou 6 30 Arrive......Wilson's Mill.Leave 8 40 unless sworn to. A penalty Of fifty per P _VAM 1cent, xill be added after the 20th day BETWEEN MILTLARD AND ST. PAUL. 'Daily except Sunday. ThebAuditor will be at the followino Southbound. Northbound. No. 73 No. 75 No. 7_ No. 74 places in person, or by proxy, to re P"M AM AM PM ceive returns: 4 05 10 20 Lve Millard Ar.0 45 530 S 4 15, 10 30 Ar St. Paul Lve.10 35 4 00 PM AM AM1 p'N Summerton, Friday, February PM. PHOS. WILSON, President. Davis X Roads, Satrdy February, 9 PresiE Jordan, onday, February, 11th. ~~ Duffie's OldStore. Tuesday, Lebru. TWR2 P OUN PE ry, 12th. Foreston, Wednesday. February. 13, 70N7r1_e~ T0V7X;C_ Pz ",~ Wilson, Thursday, F ebruary. 14th, We earnesti requeto ater Alcolu, Friday, February, 1th. how imited their mcar.ns cr educaton, who wish to Youmans, Saturday, February, 16th obtain a thorougi'vusies tr and good posi tion. to write byirst mail -or our great half-rate offer. Success. independenceaid probable fortune Turbeville, Tuesday, February, 19th are guarantcee Don't delay. Write today. McFaddin's, Wednesday, February The Ga...La. Eusium Conese, Macon. Ga. 20th. Workman, Thursday. February. 21st, HOLUSTER'S IE .DCSN Rocky Mountain Tea Nuggets Adtr A Basy idediciae for Bnsy People. - Wn-:s Golden Eealth and Renewed Vigor. - '-cic for Constipattio, Indigestion. Live L l ~ T m A :.'- a'y Troubles. imples. Eczema, Impure sostecuhuahssug i...'L Bad Breath. Slugrishi Bowels, Headache B:.t.1ckachec. It's R~ei~y Mountain Tea in tab l'e: form, 35 cents a box. Genuine-madedoy Ho-usran Damo CoxPANv, Madison, Ws GOLDN NGGET FO SM.OW EOPL Not wfDha rguea. We have passed through the hard Sest year in our business experience. But in spite of it all, we are going to Smake a stronger fight to give our cus- E Stomers better goods at SLower Prices Than Ever Before. & - We intend to pay more attention this year to our specialines, SDry Goods, Millinery, Notions, Shoes and Gents' Furnishings, therefore in order to strengthen and make these lines more complete, we Shave decided to discontinue some lines 1 we have heretofore carried. We have a nice lot of Men's and Boys' Suits and Odd Pants that we will close out at Wholesale Cost. Also a big lot of Men's and Boys' FHats that are up-to-date in every re- _ spect,latest shapes and best quality, to cse out AT COT. Come quick and get your fit before they are picked over. Yours truly, 0~~ I os M utA adR GOOD COnt ta-wwi Jurors. The following are the names and postoffices of the Grand and Petit Jurors drawn to serve at the next term of the Court of General Sessions which convenes Monday, February 11th, 1907, Judge J. C. Klugh, pre siding: PETIT JURY. J D Hoyle, Oakland. W M Plowden, Manning. S M Reardon, Manning. J S Watt, Summerton, R F D. M D Wells, Sunmerton. J. MeD. McFaddin, Manning, RFD R W Wheeler, New Zion. C F Rawlinson, .Jordan. T R Brailsford, Silver, R F D. W J Holladay, Manning, R F D. I V Plowden, Wilson's Mill. W C Williams, Summerton. J F McLeod, Manning. J S DuRant, DuRants. D E Jenkinson, Pinewood. T C Owens, Manning. J H Alsbrook, Foreston. B J Brown, Rimini. Clarence Fleming. New Zion. R J Roberson, Turbeville. H J Wheeler, New Zion, R F D. A T Mellette, Manning.. J D Pack. Paxville. J W Rhame, Silver. Ben F Stukes, Jordan. R D Clark, Manning. J C Jenkinson, Silver, R F D. R D Hodge, DuRant. S B R Davis, Manning. J M Graham, Manning. J W Ridgeway, Jordan. Eugene Holladay, Silver, R F D. J W Clark, Jordan. E L Frierson. Foreston. J W Touchberry, Paxville. C C Way, Silver, R F .D. GRAND JURY. S C Lee, Manning. W S Rhame, Summerton. B D Griffin, Pinewood. R C Wells, Manning. L H Harvin, Manning. W L Brunson, Summerton, W R Evans, Foreston. J H Morris, New Zion, R F D. A C Bradham, Manning. W P Roberts, Foreston. F C Thomas, Manning. E J Russell, Manning. SECOND WEEK JURY. Truman Winter, Manning. Clinton Galloway, Paxville. L R Chewning, Summerton. V S Anderson, Manning. W E Jenkinson, Manning. J E Tennant, Sunmmerton. C F Ridgeway, Manning. S D DuBose, Jordan. J W Davis, Paxville. A J Plowden, Silver, R F D. R P J Lackey, Paxville. James R. Bradham, Manning. J Pat Lawrence, Pinewood. Henry M Mims, Manning. C L MeElveen, lanning. D Hirsebmann, Manning. S I Till, Manning. E E Hodge, Alcolu. R L Morris, New Zion, L N Richbourg, Silver, R F D. B J Hodge, Manning. E A Fleming, New Zion. E D Hodge, Manning. R L Felder, Silver, R F D. T H Coker, Turbeville. U G Frierson, Foreston. B W Bell. Manning. C M Cook. Lake City, R F D. J E Husbands, Foreston. Arthur Frierson, Foreston. J W Rigby, Manning. L W Cox, Manning. - 1) C Plowden, Wilson. RH Davis, Manning. G H Lackey, Paxville. N R McKenzie. Lake City, R F D Bears the T~ he Kind You Have Always Bought ODD FOUNDATION. A Town Bult on an Immense Bank of Oyster Shells. The secondary foundation of Cris field, Md., Is the bottom of the Chesa peake bay, and between the bottom of Crisfield and the bottom of the-bay are oyster shells to the number of millions, probably hundreds of millions. On this "reat stratum of oyster shells stand gouses, wharfs and business places. A railroad runs along on it, bridges cross its dividing places, men walk and talk and do busiaess, steamboats and sail boats-yes, hundreds of sailboats-have their landings alongside it; merry boat ing parties put off from the shore by moonlight and fish and crab and re turn in the early mom-all to this great bank of oyster shells sunk in the blue water. Crisfield lives by oysters and crabs not by eating them, for Crisfielders rarely eat either, but by catching them, boiling them, packing them, shipping them, selling them. He who would know the crab can best learn it by vis Iting this wholly and solely crab town on the Chesapeake. Men in boats quick ly fill barrels with crabs and bring them ashore to the "factories." Here they are counted, sorted, steamed, packed in barrels and shipped until one wonders who can possibly eat all these mountains and myilads of crabs. There are many people in this coun try. A crab apiece for them all once a year in the season "would mean some crabs." At least so one of the crab dealers put it.-Philadelphia Rec ord. MUSKRAT BUILDERS. The House In the Meadow and How It Is Constgueted. I have always been told that musk rat houses mean a severe winter. In stead of a sign of cold weather, the muskrat house means simply that one.. or more muskrats have chosen to live in the low meadow or at the shallow head of the pond, where there is no chance to burrow underground and have a bedroom that cannot be flooded by the high tides of winter. These same muskrats, along the steep banks of a river, would tunnel into the earth and there dig a bedroom out of reach of the highest flood. They do not always succeeed, however, as they are often.washed out of their winter beds by spring freshets. The house in the meadow is usually built over a tall, stout tussock, whose grassy top forms the bed. This is dom ed over, making a large room big enough for one or for half a dozen, ac cording to the number of muskrats sharing the work. At 1-ast two open ings or dives lead from the bed into open water at the foot of the tussock. And this water never freezes. When ice forms outside, the warmth of the muskrats' bodies is sufficient to keep the doors free, through which the dwellers shoot at instant alarm, for these passages lead into winding bur rows and waterways that run far out through the rich, rooty meadow.-Coun try Life In America. Neighbors Got Fooled. "I was literally coughing myself to death, and had become too iweak to leave my bed; and neighbors predicted that I would never leave it alive, but they got fooled, for thanks be to God, I was induced to try Dr. King's New Discovery. It took just four one dollar bottles to completely dure the cough and restore me to good sound health," writes Mrs. Eva Uncapher, of Grover town, Stark Co., Ind. This King of cough and cold cures, and healer of throat and lungs, is guaranteed by The Arant Drug Store. 50c. and $1. Trial bottle free. Parliament. The name "parlnaent" Is derived from the French word "parler," to speak. The word was originally writ ten "parlement," as in French, and, although the spelling has gradually changed, the pronunciation remains the same. The earliest mention of the word "parliament" in the English stat utes is in the preamble -to the statute of Westminster in 1272. For the origin of the institution Itself we must go back to Anglo-Saxon times, when it flourished as the witenagemot. In the reign of Henry III. parliament was formally separated into th~e two houses of lords and commons, and the delbera tions were conducted in separate cham bers. Hindoo Moon Loie. According to the Hindoos, a lunar eclipse is the contact between the moon and another planet called Rtahoo, but the masses believe that, owing to the will of God, Rahoo, or the serpent like planet, catches hold of the moon by its hideous mouth and releases it after a short time. At first contact the Hindoos bathe in the sea and anx iously await the release. After the contact they take anaother bath. Dur ing the interval they are not allowed even to drink a cup of water, as their belief Is that all things in the world get polluted during the contact-Singa pore Times. Bells and the K~oran. It is said in the Koran that beautiful bells are hung upon the trees of para dise in such a way as to be stirred by wind from tfie golden throne of God whenever the blessed ones in his pres ence wish for music. It Is to this that the author of "Lalla tRookh" refers In the lines: Bells as musical As those that on the -golden shafted trees Of Eden, shook by the eternal breeze. Matehes. "Who are those young people In that box?" asked the man in the parquet "There's Elsie Blugore and her fiance, and Mazie Rich and hers, and Belle Browne and hers. They're all to he married next month." "Indeed! Quite a box of matches, eh?"-Philadelphia Press. A Vegetable Roast. Boy - Ma, I thought you said the Specks were vegetarians. Ma-So I did; they are. Boy-Well, I heard Mr. Specks tell pop that when he got home late the other night Mrs. Specks had a roast waiting for him. Not In His Line. Lawyer-You should learn sh'orthand and typewriting. Billy. The Office Boy -Aw g'wan! I never cared fer flow ers an' candy!-Puck. Chronic Constipation Cured. One who suffers from chronic consti pation is in danger of many serious ail ments. Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup cures chronic constipation as 'it aids diirestion and stimulates the liver and bowels, restorina the natural action of these organs. Commence taking it to day and you will feel better at once. Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup does not nauseate or gripe and is very pleasant to take. Refuse substitutes. The Arant THE OCEAt LINER. Safety Devices That Are Operated From the Bridge. It is In its safety devices and the provision made to meet every possible accident that the ocean liner is perhaps moat remarkable. All the machinery wh!ch may be set in motion in case of danger is centered on the bridge, and so perfectly has it been arranged that he entire vessel could be controlled t the necessity should arise by means of a series of levers and push buttons. About the walls of the wheelhouse are arranged curious looking indicators, much the same as one sees behind the desk ofa great hotel. About them are hung a surprising variety of barome ters, thermometers, thermostats, wind and rain gauges and other less familiar looking instruments. There are rows upon rows of buttons and levers on every hand, all highly polished and in the most perfect working order. The danger of fire at sea, for instance, is anticipated by a thermostat connected with the frame filled with little squares like the hotel indicator. There are thermometers-in every part of the ship electrically connected with this box which are constantly on guard. If a - fire should start in any part of- the great ship the temperature would of course rise, and the fact would instant ly be announced in the wheelhouse by. the ringing of a bell, while a red light would flash at the same time in one of the squares of the indicator. The man at the wheel could tell at a glance the exact point of danger.-Francis Arnold Collins In St. Nicholas. POTATOES IN FRANCE. Parmentier's Wily Plan to Kill the Prejudice Against Them. The way in which Parmentier cre ated a demand for potatoes in France would have done credit to the wiliest of wily tradesmen. Nothing would .at first induce the simple minded peas ants to cultivate the popular tuber. They would not listen to lectures on its virtues nor accept seed potatoes rree of cost for planting. Parmentier therefore decided to get the better of their prejudice by artifice and with this object leased as much land as he could round Paris and plant ed it with potatoes. Just before the ripening of the crop he posted watch ers round the ~fields and Issued notices that all persons stealing potatoes would be severely punished, the crop being intended for the tables of the king and nobles. Such delicacies, continued the notice, were too good for ignorant peasants, who would touch them at their peril. Of course watch was only kept during the day, and :a'' night the. fields were robbed right and left by the peasants, who were curious to taste the strange regetable and jealous that it should be reserved for their betters. As soon as they had tasted the suc ulent tubers the pilferers were only too anxious to plant as many as they could possibly purchase, the wily Par mentier's scheme thus succeeding be yond the most extravagant anticipa tions. - A Valuable Lesson. "Six years age I Irearned a valuable esson," writes John Pleasant, of Mag 2olia, Ind. "I then began taking Dr. King's New Life Pills, and the longer [ take them the better I find them." hey please everybody. Guaranteed at rhe Arant Co. Drug Store. Price 25c, The Chinese- Lily. To raise the Chinese sacred lily in water remove the brown dried skin Ind all the nard callous at the base of the bulbs. Do not separate the bulbs, but take a sharp knife and score the ain bulb as though to quarter it, but :10 not cut more than a quarter of mn inch deep. Cut the offshoot also. hs wastes the bulb, but develops the loliage growth. Arrange the bulbs In a glass bowl, steadying them with pebbles, bits of marble and. shells; also put in broken charcoal to keep the wa ter sweet. The water may be changed once or twice before they bloom. Place in a dark cupboard or closet for ten days until the roots are well started. A President's Pipe. General Jackson was . a poor eater, and well for him that he- was;, or h9. would have often gone hungry on the days when large crowds came to the White House for a free lunch. It Is related on one occasion the poor man was moved to thnk the Almighty that after the crowd had gone there was a raw piece of steak In the ice chest off which he could make a dinner. There seems to be absolutely no foundation 'r the stories of Jackson being a bard drinker, for his physical condition for bade all excesses. He liked his toddy In company with his corncob pipe, but he was no lover of all kinds of intor lants.-Home Magazine. - A King's Logie. George IV. of England prided him self on lifting his hat to every one who saluted him in public, but once it was observed that he bowed to every one on the street till he came to a man who swept a crossing, whom he passed without notice. He explained the mat ter afterward, when points of etiquette y'ere under discussion, by saying, "To salute a beggar without giving him something would be a mockery, and to stop for the purpose of bestowing six pence would wear the semblance of ostentation in a prince." The View of Experience. "What I want," said the constituent, "is a nice, easy position." "My friend," answered Senator Sor ghum, "give up that idea. When an easy position is discovered so many people are after It that a man has to fight ten hours a day to hold on-to it" Washington Star. First Thing In Order. Teacher-Johnny, if I gave you 5 cents and your brother 10 cents, what would that make? Johnny-Trouble. Denver News. None can injure him who does not injure himnself.-St Chrysostom. This May Interest You. No one is immune from kidney trou ble, so just remember that Foley's Kid e'ey Cure will stop the irregularities iad cure any case of kidney and biad :er trouble that is not beyond the reach medicine. The Arant Co. Drug Store. Dad soeietr What you learn from bad habits In bad society you will never forget, and. It will be a lasting pang to you. I tell' you in all sincerity, not as In the ex citement of speech, but as I would. confess and have confessed before God, I would give my right hand if I could forget that which I have learned n ba soc.:ty.-Tahn B. Gough. HOWGLINULrN-WONNI A Bad Looldng Legal Case That Was Saved by Franmems. The lawyer whose honesty is proved has the confidence of- the judge and jury. A story of Abraham Lincoln is an Illustration. He was appointed to defend one charged with murder. The crime was a brutal one, the evidence entirely circumstantial, the accused a stranger. Feeling was high and against the friendless defendant On the trial Lincoln drew from the witnesses full statements of what they saw and knew. There was no effort to confuse, no attempt to place before the jury the facts other than they were. In the argument, after calling attention to the fact that there was no direct testimo ny, Lincoln reviewed the circum stances and, after -conceding that this and that seemed to point to defend ant's guilt, closed by saying that he had reflected much on the case, and, while it seemed probable that defend ant was guilt-, he was not sure and, looking the jury straight In the face, said, "Are you?" The defendant was acquitted, and afterward the real crim inal was detected and punished. How different would have been the conduct of many lawyers! Some would have: striven to lead the judge Into technical errors with a view to an appeal to a higher court. Others would have be come hoarse in denunciation of wit nesses, decrying the lack of positive testimony and the marvelous virtue of a reasonable doubt The simple, straightforward way of Lincoln, back ed by the confidence of the jury, won. -D. J. Brewer in Atlantic. A MONKEY'S ROLES. Defned by Customs Men as a Bird, a Package and a. Dog. On the travels of a monkey from Genoa to Heidelberg an amusing farce might be written. . A German gentle man brought from southwest Africa. a tiny monkey weighing barely a couple of pounds. Froni Tangato Genoa all went well with the lilliputian animtal It was a favorite with every one and traveled free until Genoa was reached, when its troubles -began. Brought under the -notice of. the Geno ese custom house authorities, it was promptly deprived of Its identity. It was no longer an animal; it-became a bird, and as a bird, on which 28 cents was charged, it was coyaveyed to the Swiss frontier, where at a stroke of the custom house officer's wand It was transformed into a cat at the increased assessment of-$1.56-and borne by train to Zurich. On its arrival there It ceased as a cat to exist and became a mere pack age, an item of luggage that was con veyed to Constance for -the nominal sum of 16 cents. Still as luggage, though metamor phosed from a package Into .a hand bag, it went on its way to Stuttgart, where a great honor awaite&I--t It was on payment of $2.04 exalted Into a dog, and It was as a dog that It end ed its journey at the university town. of Heidelberg.-Stray Stories. Caution. "Sister Henderson," said Deacon-Hy pers, "you should avoid -even the ap pearance of eviL" "Why, deacon, what do you mean? asked Sister Henderson. "I observe that on your sideboard - you have several cut glass- decanters and that each of them Is half filled with what appears to be ardent'spirits." "Well, now, deacon, It isn't-anything of the kind. The bottles-lookso-pretty on. the sideboardi that I Just flhled them halfway with some floor stain-and fur iture polish. just for appearances" "That's why I'm cautioning-you, sis ter," replied the deacon. "Feeling a trifle weak and faint, I helpe&~ myself to a dose from the big bottle In the mddle."-Llfe. Wedding Gifts of Long Ago. - In the list of presenth received at the edding of the daughter of Mr. Moor of Losely, in 1587, from M. Balam, Esq., out of Marshland, in Norfolk, ap pear the following: "Cranes- 9, Hern shawes 5, Curlewes 1,- Ducks Mallards 44, Teeles 26, Plovers 9 dozen, swannes 9, larks 38 dozen, Bytters 16, Knotts:4 dozen and 4, Styntes 7 dozen, Godwytts 22." It is a formidable list,1 Including some 850 birds, of which 458 are larks, and must, one would Imagine, have been something of an embarrassment to Mr. Moor's dauzhter.-Country Life. STREETS IN A BIG STORE. The Piles of Merchandise Are Num bered .Like Houses. In a large wholesale grocery house In Kansas City the lanes that Intersect the great piles of merchandise. have been named as streets, and theistacks of boxes, bags and packages-hav'e each been marked with a numnbei, as the houses upon city streets are numbered. The other day a member of the firm gave the following order to a trucker: "Go over to Easy sti-eef., get that bunch of swells and take -them to parlor S." A stranger in the big store would not have known what that order meant The trucker knew. All canned goods that swell from the formation of gases inside are called "swells" in the grocery trade. In this house all "swells" are kept In a room upstairs called "parlor S." "Easy street" is a lane that leads down to "Fairyland," the big room where many girls work putting up packages. "Clabber alley" Is the lane which passes 1:hrough the great stacks of condensed milk. "Corneake lane" goes through the cornmeal packages and barrels. The system of naming the streets and dividing the different brands of goods Into numbers facilitates the bus! ness of order filling to the extent that almost twice the work can be done now by the same number of order fill ers that could be done a few years ago.-Kansas City Star. The Free Lance's Paradise. The literary free lance is bred:natu rally In New York and thrives In Its at mosphere because the market-:for his wares is stable and inflitely: varied. The very life of metropolitan -publish ing lies in the search for new men and variety. Publishers spend greatt..sms upon the winnowing machinery that thrashes over what comes to their edi tors' desks, and no editor in the me ropolis grudges the time necessary to talk with those .who call In person and - have ideas good enough to carry them~ . past his assistants. Publicly the edito rial tribe may lament the many hours spent yearly in this winnowing process. Yet every experienced editor In New York has his own story of the stranger, uncouth, unpromising, unready of spech, who stole in late one afternoon ad seemed to have almost nothing In him, yet who afterward became the prolific scribbler or the great D'Auber. r3 1:r Collins5 In Atlantic.