University of South Carolina Libraries
'160 At.one and Comptrole 4A WJnos4 2f P'reoccupai~ csaeteristi of initenge perdOi \tqm of'he strongest mn h~~6h4l e been notoriousl "a, Tw of tle intep esa id*n ost absent-inii - eI men ithe e Comptroller Gneral Ane in Assisttnt Attorney .ete4', r oumans, who are also amq9tg thelest men in public i h th Palmetto state. Bothi are enstntly seing ith their hyvsiaal' eyes. witlit -getting a sumeiiently vlVivi talpicture to dis t h i ' bhoghts, and both fre uieitly ftppeai de ;ly. hearing with their physical ea without heeding. Man:V good stories are told about the absetit-mindedness of both but this article Will be conflned to a few inci deits which - the riter personally knows to be true. I r. Jones constantly passes his best aid most intimate friends on th;e street without recognizing them, this .happening almost as often when he walks along with his head. bent in thought oui some phase of the tax problem. He 'has often passed his own Wife that way. It is said he had a hard time explaining matters the .first time he did this. - But Mr. Jones is too busy to be 'vain about -his person or his official poition or anything else. He is as -democratic and simple and unassum ing in his manner as Lincoln. An old Abbeville friend who was "very cold" recently on seeing Mr. Jones following Mr. Jones' passing him oi the street without speakiig, reminded Mr. Jones of how he bad treated him. The comptroller genernl laughed, as much at himself as at his friend, for it was a toss up as to whoim the joke was on. "Why, you are no.t. one of these derned fools who don't think you are as good as I am, are you?' lie asked jabbing his friend in the ribs with his thumnb. The Abbeville friend required several seconds to figure the situation out and then laughed with those standing about him who .knew Mr. Jones and Ihis absent-minded ways. A short tiiihe ago, Mr." Jones wo"as standing at the Southern railway sta -ton at 'Hodges," having just come down from Abbeville on the Hodges "hoc-fy' rianbh on hig way to Co humbia.- His. Columbia traiii passed in fr6nt*of.him without "waking" him'I - Mr.-Jones wag lookingo at the rap idly retreating rear-end of the train when he "eame to" with a start and a mild oath He caught the next train back t A6I,6ll e and- came to Colum biath6!fM1AKng day. This incident recalb. what happen ed to a, Columbia newspaper - man - a fei*akys ago when he arose hurriedly after a hard night's work and ihrew his pajamas into the fire and expee torated into the center of the bed. Mr. Youmans, who in his prime was in the van guard of Southern orators when Southern oratory was a power, is still the host after-dinner speaker in the state so far as finished, rhet orically excellent effort is concerned. lie has yet a wonderful memory in spite of his absent-mindedness. And as assistant~ attorney general in the absence of Attorney General Gunter he is one of the hardest-worked law yers in the state. A few 'riigihts ago a reporter found Mr. Youmans,'lQst" at the corner of L ady and* Bull- streets, one of the p)rincipa[ residential section four blocks from .Main street business cen ter. Mr. Youmnans, wanted to know where he was, and then~ asked to be shown the -way's to. the State house. lie was escorted into Main street, for which service lhe thanks the reporter over each timne ho sees him'. iIe ''had just t.ot to thiinlding and had lost his way.", Mr. Youmains is at times dangerous ly oblivious of' his apparol. On a l1 cent bitterly cold night a newspaper man come into his office -and began to search through the office ''grave yard" for a sketch of the lawyer, grimly remarking that he -had just seen Mr. Youmians out wholly uncons eious of the absence of an 'overcoat. This recalls the sRtor'y f -the Johns Hopkins prfossor, whose wife find ing his old trousers Teft in his room excitedly had a: search instituted for him through the st.reite: with the' n suilt that he was' fouWd~ *itht a'new pi of trousers 'on' This"'profer~ had a represonsible habit vihen he at tenided the theiltl oefighting out mathematical probleis 'on the' backs f those in fro,gt ohin Ashort thne (io ag nQ apeor cor uidend a~j ht'uhthe main 'aannt lelr a word you say. 0'iii- the 'e.(iVer arounad .general, and you will lier better, " said hi dte pherI., smilinig ilf an indulgent way. - AlthoIugh the little scerew-liealds of tihe wrong en(I of the instruinent ivere presig ito, his ears, Mr. Youmani took it down and looked at it a couple of seconds before he realized- what hindered the thing. "A h,'' he sighed, placing the re celver* at his.ear corretly, " 'that's >0tter. .Thenl tie told a gtory about w Now York acquiaittiance who came home and (told his wife how he wrested his watIch Xreml a man01 who attempied to -tal it frvm him. "IBut you t'orget,' ' she said sweetly, Ihat you left your watch Iidei the 1illow this morning,'' which cuilsed the husband to gasp at the thought.' of i hig himself been the thief. MRS. LONGWORTH Miss Alice Could Not Have an Kuto Mrs. Longworth Has. Mrs. Nicholas Lon-worth is the protud posssssor of an eleticear rinq.e, says the abnto eres 1umldenit, 0, the Nows and Corider. Tt is a runabout built for two an,d the firk, (OWIer derives grei"( deliht i operltini.. O.C machine hers)Il. Trhere is a (Iiestion as. io whether the' Illoab-I is a hebte I wed,hm Iresenit. or wehethr it is :11 inldivid 11111 plrclase silee Ill, i'h e l e '. eldest (hitillor becliamc,e Lonl. worth. It is well kno.'N that tho Presidenl: !:, Ilnever e.we,.6-d ally -nithusial''m "Ner autfomlobilci or elec= trie ea , : . oni conl(11ti'arY he 1;.slikes 0t hm and his st r unliuslV op [ose(l ghiving his tiareitad coen'CIt ( IV (of his childrel beoloi:cl OWiO1rs f this new 1110de1" evi cveyanclte. Those who are stpposed to b.1 fa Iiliar. with the sayings and doing-; of' he imm11lediate members of tihe Presi lent's family have given out the ill )ression that Mrs. Longworth, while dways a dutiful daughter, could not -esist the inclination to become anl )Wler of tit electric vehicle. In this lesire it is understood that she has ad the hearty support and co-opera ion of her favorite aunt, Mrs. Cowles, ,ife of Capt. Cowles of the navy. 'his 'Impression is etrengtheiied by he fact that Mran' Longworth is rrequently,tken inI-company- with.hr lunt, guiding_. her electric carriage hrough the city and on the adjacent -ondways, right up to the speed limit There is no dis,6uising tile fact that qrs. Lonlgworth gets much enjoyment rom :her new .possession, and it. is lot likely. that her indulgent father Nill further- attempt. to restrain her joy in lier. new-tra8utcy' especially as fhe has the consent of her husband. Representative Longworth is an en husiast ic anad experienced automo.. jilist and.-shares the pleasure of the unal iboet with his ife. The Long~worthl electrile ~earriage [ inq.commssion early and late. While t is not standing before the Long sorth residence it may be seen speed ng down to the capitol in the morn [ne where Representative Longworth takes up his congressional duties, wllile his wife returns up-town to take a spini with hmer aunt or one of tIer many compamnons. Representative Lonlgwvorth usually walks down from the capitol daily for the exercise. There are several if' his associates in the house who have formed what they call "the walking squad.''. One day last week when thle weather was cold anld raw the Longworth squad made one or two halts on the homeward march to take in "'commissary supplies." One of tihe party playfully inquired: ''Nick, what would your wife say if she wouldl see y'ou noW?"' "She would say," replied the dis tinanmished bridegroom, ''Nick, (Ion 't want you to change your habits because we are married, I am satis fied with you as you are.'' But They Remembered Not. By Helen A. Saxon. ~Iis mother wrought as only mothers can. And gave tIle Iimprss of tIle coming man, Put all her earlier aims and hopes aside, Focussed in him her' whlole desire and pride, Nor spared herself, but toiling early, late, Uewed throughl thir pioverty a pathl wafly s tra'ight IFor his younig f'oot seps, gave hin Anad seintI him forth an01 honiest, whlole Hisq wife, the guardian of .his lates w ays, TPhe stat and inisp iration omf his dalys Reliev ed him of o'those. traivial yran car es That lurk about f feel) I, .snrares, - And set him free for higher th4riJ6 and deed, And muade ter heart a bomne to rMee his need. A only women can, and, gave stir cease. Of grinding stress and fenced himfi. with peace. And he?-boforo him burned th steadfast light Thei' faith had lit, a beacon in th night, By it he reached. the stumrit of hi aim The goal ot' bis enleavor and be me 'lhe idol of his day; but those wh14 solimd Ilis fame, renembered not the- live unterowned Onl ihieh lie stnIds-the narrow o secure ways Two women trod to wreath his nram with praise.' Bad Ro4ds Did It. A farmer lad, so we've been told, With a team of horees strong, 111rove down tire road with a heav, load, While silgin. hi;r merry song. But his mlifth inl on-Was notL so long., For Ili.-; horses ite a leap. . - ni amnik 1. 1 ie mud im ol.t Clear up to his ankles deep, BAT: ROAl' 1% D)D 1 r. And a 'wheelmangay wentout one (da For a joyful, merry spin, With the weather bright Iis heart wa 4 ,light As ie left the countrytri man. But ie went not far when lie felt Which started his trotbles-and carei He was laid up ill. while the doctor'l bill Caie in with the one for repairs, HADl ROADS DID IT in an automobile of wood and stee A millionaire prim' and neat Went out for a ride by the river's sid In a.style that was hard to beat, But, alas, ie found that the broker ground. And the ruts and the holes so grea Had smashed a. wheel of his automo bile What he said we cannot relate, BAD ROADS DID IT. But we're. glad to say there shines a ray - Of hope- that will right. this wrong When in every state they will legis late To help the good roads along The mair with his wheel or automobil< Will never again get the blues, And the farmer smiles when travelin miles Oir a road fit to use, OOOD ROADS DID IT. -Harry Ellard in Cincinnata Corn mercial Tribune. His Plan. Philadelphia Ledger. Word was brought.to the father o. twinS that his wife had.spresented hin with triplets. "I suppose you'll be right up to thi house,'' said thre messenger. " Pretty soon, pretty soon,'' he an swered impatiently. Of courrse, he could not reveal his plan of first going out to the Zoo ani( wringing the stork 's neck. . Explained. Philadelphia Press. '"It's strange that you should al ways be so gaunt,'' remarked th bear to tire wolf. " Well, you see,'' replied tihe wolf "it's all because of tihe part I'm comn polled to p)lay in life. -You see, I'n always oliged to:keep from the doo1 until there's riot a thing left in'etha house to eat.' ON YOUR HUNTtING TRIP lI sre o be proT0 ty e, '- e"-t-obtiain th'e STEv Ri T LS , * from $2.25 to $150.00 prot .W .4 . fromi 2 fa) to 60.00 SHlOTGUN3 . . :cm 'l.60 to 86.00 on . i..e .r .sa. 1(t t I catan.-. i tijer. r - anototain nc sip eiic<i in 5l)0TNAG,.ii fprr,'.d, l en redir.t 0f fr ur e.'nt. in Stoma' to cataiog prc I cover posta. 0:ir attractive the.nn Abu.ninumfl iinit will bo ser.t --. ereor .o 20ens inl s0:tm:4. J. STF.VEN S ARMS AND. TOOL CO., Chicopmo Fars, MassO., U. S. A.. TRAD W4ARK -, REGISTERED FARME our competitoi to be "just original Fish1 buyers should This is the gn Far Norfolk, Va. Notinkg the rapid change in motive power Sir Alfred Hickman states that in. his owi works twenty-four valu able steam enlgines have beei replaced within a few years by electric mo tors driven by gas engines. This is estimated to have brought a saving in fNel alone of $37,500 a year. A Correction. Psck. Bessie-'"Oh, Tommy! My new ba b.qlly ig almost hunan When I r she begins to cry and when I put her to bed she closes her eyes!'" To)mfny--" Huh! She'd be more hu man if she closed her eyes when you walk the floor with her and began to cry when you put her to bed." BY A UOMEHETERRISE Newberry Steam * Laundry Co. Cha8rlosto'1 and Itorn Caro'1r Ry. (Schedule inlEffect April r6, 1905.j Lv. Laur~ns No. 2. Daily.: ~ Arv. New rrya...........5.2.0-3 p. mn. Ar. Aunderso..... ......7..0 p.m,~ No. 42. Daily. I,v. Auseta.. ... ~........-So P. 5 A r. AGreie..od,............. . . 4 . Ar. FAggea-.........---.--.5.21 p. m. A. cAderson .................7 4.3 .11 r,. Auost.... . ....... ........35 p. m. Ar. A'r He 1'a.........-~...~~-... 4o3 p. m. Ar. Favann..... ..........--....~..4 p. mu Ar. Chareon..~~............--.....o7 4 p. mu. r. Paksei for....... . ..................P.m rL 'o t a.. T.,.. ....t . ..Il. .. ,. ,4 p. m .Ar. pRaina,.................... .... .45 p. mn * ~ No. 52. No. 87. Daly. 1(x. Sun I,v. l.au*renn............ gp in. 8.oo a.m A: Gren ille ... ... 3.25~ p. m. o 20 5. BLUE RIDGE RAILROAD. Time Table No. 5. In Effect November 29, l90l5 Between Blelton and \Valhalla. SAWTBOUIND.. WHSTIIoUND. Ne. to No. 12 No. is No. 5 3 35 50 65.....1130.,...3 5o JO 45 35D19 00o . .. AI,derson 1....422 11t04 ..-. 925.1'enleton. . 7 II 3. 5I 15 31 5 .... '835...Wathala .. s :sr21 J. R. ANDI)1RSON, Supt. Itmita is t Incerest Fa he unprecedented popularit, RS' BONE fertilizer has. ir es to advertise Fish Guano, as good." FARMERS' Guano, and, to prevent being be sure that our trade-mark I ly guarantee that you are getti mers' B Ma1ce with Flach , S. ROYSTER GUANO Of QUICKEST AND TO Savannah, Waycross, Jacksonvi and al VIA Charleston and Wes Lv. Laure.s..................... Lv. Augusta.............. Ar. Savannah............. Ar. Waycross.............. Ar. Jacksonville ................. Through Pullman Car Service bety Close connections made at Jackson, Round trip winter tourist excursion on eale.' C. H. GASQUE, -Agent, Laurens, S. C. ERNEST WILLIAS. Gen.. SEA BC AIR - LINE - NORTH -SOUTH Two Daily Pullman Vesi Between SOUTH an FIRST-CLASS DINIt The Best Rates and Roul Via Richmond and w Norfolk and Steame Nashville, Memphih Louis, Chicago, Nev Points South and Southw -and Jacksonville and : and Cuba. PoSSITIVELy THE SHOR'I NORTH AN 'For detailed Information, man reservations, etc., apply board Air Line Railway, or Jc Passenger Agent, Columbia, .C. F. STEWART, As: SAVANNA W. L BRROUGHS Trav. lion te ittery" r of &-toyster's rduced some of claiming theirs BONE is the Imposed upon, s on every bag. ng the genuine onle Tarboro, N. 0. Macon, Ca. BEST ROUTES le, I Florida Points, tern Carolina Ry. .................. 1 :50 1'. M . ..................10:30" 50 A. M, .................. 6 :0 5 .................. 8:4 Ac reen Augusta and Jacksonvihe. !ille for all points South. tickets to F-lorida resorts now GEO. T. BRYAN, Gen. Agt., Greenville, S. C. Jass. Agt., Augusta, Ga. RAIL W AY. - EAST - WEST. Ibuled Limited Trains di NEW YORK. IG CAR SERVICE, e Lo all Eastern Cities ashington, or via rs.--To Atlanta, , Louisville, St. Orleans, and All ~st---To Savannah 11 poInts In Florida ES'r INE BETWEEN D SOUTH. rates, schedules, Pull to any agent of The Sea s. W. Stewart, Traveling S. C. H, GA. Pass. AgrtCoibiha S