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BOYS WILL BE BOYS. Tho Bar. Epimenidcs Morton is tho editor uc3 proprietor of the Weekly' H&liomjah News, a journal which ably defends its creed and' urges-its subscribers to pay up. . During many nseful yews the- BevY Epimenidea was a circnit rider, and many a man who is now enjoying the comforts "which tho Gospel brings into a family, was 'seized by him in the early dava and inducod to take shelter within the fbld;- - ' If ' ' ? Several days ago. Mr. Anthony Biddle?aa goodVihurch member a3 over lived?accom panied, by his little boy, called on Mr. Mor ton. Tho visitors were cordially received into tho office. "Why, my dear old friend," said the editor, "you don't know how happy I am to see yon. Ah, and you liavo brought your little ' boy. What a fino little, fellow he is. Never mind, that's all right, I assure you." The fine little fellow had shoved a bottle of ink off tho tablo. ??? ,. "Henry. I am astonished at yon," said Mr. Biddlo. " What made you do that?" . M Bidn't go to do it?" tho boy replied. " Well, you must bo more particular, or I never will let you go auywhero with me again." " Do not scold the littlo man, brother Biddle, for boys will bo boys. By the way, how did you like niy article on tho 'Bap tism of tho (Saints, or tho Footprints of John Made Clear?'"_' ' ' ??1 ? ami ncbT."".?,? ? "Don't you think that his footsleps were indeed made clear ?" "Perfectly so," Mr. Biddlo politely lied, for ho had not read the article. "I am glad to hear you?oh, that makes no difference. I assure you." - Tho boy hod droppod the editor's scissor* inxo tho Bpittocn. "My gracious, Henry 1" exclaimed Mr. ?M Biddlo, seizing tho boy by the arm, " what made you do that ?" "Didn't goto." "Yoq are the worst child I ever aaw. Why don't yon kcop your hands off things ?" 'Cause I will." "Oh," said tho patient oditor, "boys will bo boys." The Rev. Epimonides Morton is ono of th - moat patient and uolf-aacrificing ihju in the world, and is so careful of other people's feeling*) that he entirely furgcti that whiek is duo himself. "Ye?," ho repeated, "boys will bo boys. I think that it is our duty to stand up for tho faith, Brother Biddlo." Wo aro too apt j to forget how precious it is, and how our noble ancestors had to fight to maintain it. W* tvould think moro of it if wo wero com pelled to sne&k out into the wooda and there. Brother Biddlo, do not Jerk him around that way." - . The hoy had npaet a bottle of mucilago on a new, gilt-edged Bible. ..... "Henry!" exclaimed tho irato father, "yon shall ncvor go anywhere- with mo again. Iam going to tell your mother-"that you are not St-io.go..anywhere. Now-just look what you'vo done?ruined that Bible "What made, you do it, say ?" " Didn't go to." "Sit right down there, now, and keep your hands to yourself." "Oli, the book is not injured." said th'e editor, as ho. proceeded to wipe ofr the mucilago. "Boys will bo boys.^1 remem ber very well when I was r. bpyV " Brother Morton, what aro yon dci^g with that big polo standing there in tho corner?" . ?> "Tint, my dear Brother Biddlo; is a sap ling that grew on the ,sito of an old church, where I preached my .first sernion. The house was longsinco toru.awny and this hick dry sapling grew up whero tho pulpit used to stand. An old f; i'>?/d of mine cut it down aovoral days c^o, .ti iiniiiL-v1 Off tho branches and brought it to r-o.;.. I prize i: very high? ly, I assure you. I um-rao?1 dor.'tslap him." Tho boy had turn-.'d ov.r iiio spittoon. . "I'll whip ypS fur that ju^t as "soon as 1 gotyou"borne, yr-u 'good-fi'r-nothing thing. Just look there h'atr on tho" carpet. What modo.yon do it, say??'.. . ? . s "Didn't go. to." . . . .' ? j.,! "Wliycan't you sit etill? What makos yon Want to tramp around that way, say?" " Ouch, now don't 1" ? "Don't shake him that way, Brother Bid ?lo. Buys will ,bo boys in spite of every thing we can do." " I'm going' to whip him just as aooa as I get hiaj homo." "Oh, I wouldn't do that." "Yds, I will. It is timo ho was learning how to behave himself." Tho preacher and visitor soon forgot tho boy's depredations and entered into an inter esting discussion of tho article which made John's footprints clo;;r.. The boy got up, crossed tho room and began to examine tho eacred sapling. " Henry, dou't try to lift that polo." "No, sir." " He can't hurt it, Brother Biddlo/ "But he Can't do it any good. Yes. I qnito agree with you and most highly appreoiato your Ioto of faith." The boy;lifted tho polo. "I am glad to hoar you say?" Wh&ck 1 The polo had cracked tho oditor on tho head. "My goodness alivo 1" exclaimed tho visi tor, "oprrrigiuy to his'fret ami as.ii.>Uing tho oditor to rise. " Aro you badly hurt, Broth er .Morton?" Tho editor's faco had assumed an expres sion of agony. It was sonio timo before ho could Bpoak. Then ho attempted to say something about boys being boys. When tho visitor had draggod tho boy down stairs, the editor tenderly touched a bump on the top of his bald bead and groanod.?[Arkau eaw Traveler*; t ?????? ... Medical Itcin. Undo Mose met Mr3. Lindley Murray. " How am your sou coming on ?" asked tho African.' "Ho is doing very'well.' Ho is a student at tho medical department of tho University of Texas." " You don' tolo mo so?" "Yob, and ho will graduate next year." ? "And den ho will be a doctor?" "Yes, Undo Mose." " Why, do Lor', your son am too young to bo a surQ enough doctor. I reckon ho is only a doctor for childruns." Is tho World Growing Better? " Tho world iB a groat doal moro wicked than it was when I was a boy." " Oh, that's all stuff and nonsense. It's growing better every day." "I'd like to Bee you provo it." "I can do it." M Como on with your evidonco." "Well, sometime ago I inadvertently left tin umbrella in a hotel hat-rack, and found it there on my return a day or two after ward", and it was a silk one. *,oo." " Was it raining at tho timo?" "Well?or?no, I bcliovo not."?[National Bepublican. A Profitable Tip. Mrs. McEwon: "Did you tip that waiter, Henry?" Mr. McEwen: "Yes; didn't you soo mo givo hira a quarter just beforo ho went for tho check ? But ho tipped mo back. Mrs. McEwou: " A waiter tip you, Heuryl" Mr. McEwen: "Certainly. Ho tipped mo tho wink when ho handed mean cighty fivo cent chock for a dollar-and-a-half lun choon."?[Tid-Bita. Masonry Exposed. ?'What do thoso letters stand for?" asked a curious wifo of hor husband, as sho looked at hid Masonic seal. " Well, really, my love," ho replied encouragingly, "I presume it is becauso thoy can't sit down." 8ho postponed further questioning.?[Mer chant Traveler. A Sore Thing of It. " What interest can you havo in reading the list of prizes in the Havana lottery? You never buy any tickets," asked Kosciusko Murphy, on seeing Col. Ycrger perusing a paper. " I know that I never buy a ticket, but I have mor? real enjoyment than if I did," replied Col. Yergor. " How is that?" :' You see, I pick out a number. H it wins I am as much tickled as a man can be, ami go on a tear. If my number don't win, then I havo saved the price of the ticket, and; I celobrato my escape with tho mono? 1 havo j saved. I am bound to win cither way. Ij can't bo beat."?[Texas Siftings. The Brothers. " To sum it up in a few words," said Sam Jones recently, " a dudo is a jackass." Mr. Jones is surely mistaken. Whilo a dude is not distinguished for brain, tho other aui-j mal is protty much all brayiu'.?Biugham-j ton Republican. IN THE SEA'S ABYSMAL DEPTHS. A Walk Amid Coral Groves?Shelly Form? Found. In Deep-Sea Mud?low Lift, The results of deep-sea dredging tend to show.that.tho ocean bottom, which has been supposed io be in absolute darkness, is lighted by brilliant phosphorescence. I believe that if we conld .find ourselves upon the bed of the sea in 2,000 fathoms, we should see brilliant .white lights, cast ing intense shadows, illuminating the bottom in an effectual manner. The groves of coral would shine with this light, shrimp.and fishes would dart about, spectre-like, over an Illuminated pathway, each carrying Iiis own lamp, and tho whole ground would be one glow of phos phorescent light. The bottom .animals have eyes, and hence they have use for theiri, for nature' supports no useless Organ. One thing that is certain is that "there is practically no glimmer of sunlight in these gtent abysmal depths; and urjess we adnvtrthat there is some such light as T have mentioned, the presence of. eyes ' can not be explained. Certain animals rc 'tarn a phosphorescent luster even after being brought to the surface, andit seems but natural to conclude that in this way the ocean bottom is lighted. ' TTIE TKEASU1JES OF THE DEPTHS. The dredge comes up laden With its precious- load of deep-sea treasures, and the;envkusiastlc naturalists crowd around to explore the contents. Mixed up in a mass of mud are brilliant red starfishes, deep purple sea pods, delicate pink sea anemone-, pure white holpthurians, and ugly black fishes, all peculiar in many respects.' While tlw naturalists are busy getting the animals ready for us to see, let us take a bit of the mud into the latv oratory and examine it through the microscope It will he found to be com posed of countless numbers of micro scopic shells, the testoj of Foraminifera. They are usually composed of carbonate, of lime, but there are silicious species also, and in the shallow waters, sandy forms. Some are as ' smooth arid glossy as the best-glazed chinaware, showing beautiful concentric rings of different hues, while others are rough and lobed in a manner which defies des cription. Still othors are the most beau tiful shade of pink, and some present in color a most delicate chocolate brown. Wo find them tubular, coiled, crown shaped, spherical, and oval, and in masses of lobes upon lobes. These beautiful shelly forms are allied to Amosbai, so common in fresh water and on damp leaves. They are one-nelled and simple, the lowest forms of animal life, yet capable of producing these regular and perfect shells. These are the creatures which have formed the English chalk cliffs. Moreover, they aro at this mo ..oi.t falling from the surfaco of the sea in a continual shower upon the great ocean abysses, and in conjunction with the forms living on the ocean bottom, are forming vast layers of an oozy, clayey mud, which, in the proper conditions, would produce groat strata of chalk. LIFE ES ITS SIMPLEST FORM. The animal inhabitant is very simple, being without any organ, yet capable of performing all the necessary duties of life! They can move without muscles, eat with out a mouth, ligest without a stomach, and feel without nerves. When they wish to move they send out a pseudo-pod or little foot, whieh maybe any part of the elastic cell wall, and then the body actually begins to flow from itself into its foot. If the foot touches a digestible object- another smaller one is sent out, and the two surround'tho object, join to gether, and thus two pseudo-pods become one, with the object within. The ease with which they can dispose of the cell wall to accomplish this makes the whole process seem bke magic. It is in these animals that we see the first formation of temporary organs. As we go higher these become fixed cs permanent organs, and the next higher step *f animal life has ono part of the body fixed i.s a permanent mouth, anuthcr as a stomach, while other definite parts afford locomotive power. Here i.s life in its simplest form, capable of using any part of its body for a stomach and any part for a mouth. Although so simple, they arc wonderful because of their very simplicity of structure, accompanied by such complex powers.?Ralph S. Tare in New York Sun. One of Paris' Peculiar Institutions. A correspondence of the Temps ha3beon at the pains to ascertain that there are in Paris at the present time no fewer than twenty-three establishments which em ploy a more or less considerable staff of clerks in writing out addresses for circu lars and advertisements to be sent through the po3t. Although these establishments arc, as a matter of course, busier than usual at election time?having had to writo out the addresses of uearl? 3,000,000 circnlars?they Beem to do a pretty good business all the year round, their ordinary work consisting for the most part of addressing tradesmen's circulars. They also keep a list of all the persons engaged indifferent branches of trade compiled from tho directory of Paris; so that when anyone applies to them to send out a circular, say to all the tailors of the town, they are ready to begin writing the ad dresses. Stranger still, thoy keep a list of those who stammer, who have lost their hair, or are subject to nny infirmity which ad vertisers of patent medicinos, and so forth, propose to cure. The writer of tho article in The Temps says that he has the mis fortune to be bald, and he is constantly receiving circulars about some infallible preparation or other for restoring him his lost locks. Lists of this kind must neces sarily be incomplete; but, by dint of per severance, their compilers aro enabled to classify most public men and get a good deal of information in a haphazard way. There aro even lists of persons with fal?e teeth and with red hair.?Pall Mall Ga zette. A Rural Brldogroom's Marrlago Fee. A "Washington clergyman recently re ceived ?1,000 as a marriage fee. Tho writer of this paragraph, whose father was a Methodist minister, remembers the gusto with which the old gentloman told the story of marrying a couple in Rhode Island, and after tho ceremony tho ap proach of the rural bridegroom, who in quired, "Well, parson, how much dew yew ax me?" The minister replied, "The regu lar fee is $2." Tho bridegroom, after vainly searching his pockets, observed, "look here, parson, I haven't got any change, but I'll pay yer day arter to-mor row in white beans." True to the word' he appeared at the appointed time with his bag of beans.?Exchange. Musical Instrument of Aztec Origin. A quaint musical instrument has been found In Mexico. It is ip the shape of a pipe, the body and head of which repre sent the inferior extremities of a grotesque figure of human form, terminating in a leg, which, with the foot, forms tho mouthpiece. The instrument is. supposed to bo of Aztec origin.?Chicago Herald. PRAIRIE DOGS IN CENTRAL PARK. H.?w They Began Work Whoa First Turned Loose In Their Quarter*. [Cor. Boston Transcript.I '. . When the dogs wero turned into the enclosure,they frisked,about the space a few moments in evident surprise. Then they gathered in a knot for consultation, in which one fat old patriarch seemed to assume the leadership.' The .ojd , dog. followed by. six other stout dogs, selected a central spot in the enclosure and. began to dig with "his forcpaws until in a minute or two his head was out of sight. He then stepped aside and-gravely sat on his haunches while 'another dog began dig ging in tho hole thus started. ? ^The re maining live dogs stood in a row behind the ono that was digging, while the un occupied cbgs kept "together a short dis tance away. As the . dirt -was thrown up from the hole the dog that was Ucxt to the o:;e dig ging gathered it in his paws and threw it hack farther to those behind., Iu a shore time the.firstdog. was out of sight. He then stopped and took his position last in the row, and the next one began digging. The foreman continued to watch the operations quietly or to inspect the pro gress of tho work at short intervals. It aid not take long .before the whole six were doWa into the ground. Then the workmen were rc enforced by another detachment, until fiually the forty dogs had disappeared,-with tho exception of the old one, who stoodoutsidc. i< Presently=there was a movement of the earth at a distance of fifteen feet. A dog s head appeared, and the subterranean workmen all filed out of the gallery .whickrthey had made. . The dogs seemed highly pleased with the result of I heir work, and after the foreman of the work had inspected ihe lunnel several times the colony then divided into groups, each group selecting a spot and going tc work to burrow on its own account. Five of them with the old dog continued to work at the first burrow. During the afternoon each of the groups made its own home under ground; and they all went to rest iu these holes at night Kow TiHt if I'liKiiioinl StnnJin?. rU'N-le Bill's" New ' ot'< T.-rr.?.] A new test of the real financial stand ing of a man about town is to suilf at his silk hat. If it smells like a mixture of turpentine, hartshorn and several other things, however faintly, then the wearer is to be set down as not a dandy reckless as to expenses, lie may be a good enough chap in a general way. but he is guilty of re uvenuting his hat bv means of n I'uid sold by barbers in hottics. instead of hav ing it blocked by his halter every two or three days at at a cost ,'nj cents for each treatment The new method imparts lus ter, but leaves an indistinct odor, by which the economizing can easily be de tected. . They tell a piece of fiction nbout a fel low noted among a lot of swells for his devices for living slowly at a low cost. The tale runs that he called on a beautiful young heiress, with a distant view of get ting so near to her as to marry. At .the end of the evening aud his departure she lifted his gloved hand to withiu a foot of her dainty nose, sniffed at it, and ex claimed: "Ah; benzine!" Then she brougtit her na=al tester close to his lap pels, and remarked: "Naphtha!" Finally she smelt of his glossy hat, and handed it to him with the parting criticism: -< >h, stove-pipe polish!" He did not call again. A aiotltmlical Old Man. Exchange.] Thomas M. Walter, architect of the United States capttol extension and of GIrard college, lives in Philadelphia aud is described as the most methodical of men. He is now engaged ou the new city hall in that city. Although verging closely on to ?0 years of age, he is yet able to produce drawings the details of which arc as carefully prepared as though he were half as old as ho is. Punctually every morning at '?) o'clock his tall figure can be seen entering the city hall, and just as punctually at 4:;;0 in the afternoon he leaves. A watch can almost be regu lated by his movemeuta His penman ship, too, Is-indicative of his character istics. Every letter is formed with the utmost caro, and each word is separated by precisely the same sized blank space All his expenditures, even for postage stamps, are carefully noted down in a memorandum book. A Blob Find. [Dotr jit Free Press.] A broad tract of land iu LisboD, jVIc, known for years as tho "Pine Woods, " is now one of the most highly valued lots of land in that state Two years ago it could havo been bought for $S an acre, and to day $25,000 an acre is its estimated value. It is owned by E. N. Chamber lain, who leased it a few months ago to E H. Taylor, of Columbus, Ohio. Mr. Chamberlain is to receive a royalty on the product of a paint mine that it contains. The value of the earth comprised in this tract of land was discovered through ob servation of the fact that the mud cling ing to the wheels of vehicles driving through it dried on like paint and was removed with difficulty. The earth is yellow, and has been pronounced by Professor Stanley, of Eates college, to be a variety of sienna. India's Opium Production. l'Exchan;:o.l gThe amount of crude opium produced in India in 1S33 is stated in recently pub lished statistics to have been 0,071.120 pounds. The number of acres of land used in its culture is given at 876,45 k The use of opium among the poorer classes is said to be rarely excessive, but the well to-do people suffer greatly from overin dulgence in it Ou the Old English Post-ltoads. iOhicazo Heraid.l Cycling ls giving to the present genera tion of England a remarkable knowledge of their own country, which railroads were causing them to lose, and has in fused fresh life into many once famous inns on the old post-roads. The moot popular cycling ground is tho great Bath road, ana men frequently go 150 miles and back. _ Can >'?> Lnngnr It.) Stld. IN'ew York Tribuno.1 With the multiplication of elevated railroads in all directions, allowing pas sengers to look into all manner of bed rooms and kitchens, and get correct, if llecting, views of the sort of domestic economy practiced by their occupants, it can no longer be said that "one-half the world knows not how tho other half lives." It dglngs for thn Poor. : liiUulel|>h:a Call.] One man's hobby is to Induce the wealthy residents of cities to open their spacious, ventilated homes during their own summer absence as lodgings for the poor. He argues that it is wicked iu the millionaires to let thousands of innocent children die unnecessarily in tenements. The crop of raisins grown in California has increased from 1,000 boxes nineteen years ego to 400,000 the present season. 1VTEW VO?K QTOEE HEW I OEK OTORE Upward and Onward, MY MOTTO! I Defy Competition Always tlie Leafler of Low Prices! Haviug Enlarged My Store it is Now the Largest iu the City ami Kill ed With Every Desirable Goods Imaginable at' the Very Lowest p r ices: To See is to Belie?e! What We Say. We Do, or Money Refunded. It would take this entire paper to enuinen.tc everything we keep to sell, Our Stock embraces #00,000 worth of DRY GOODS, CLOTHING, BOOT AND SHOES HATS AND CAPS. OIL PAINTINGS. SHIRTS, TRUNKS, DOMESTICS, CARPETS. RUGS, WATCHES, CLOCKS, JEWELRY, &c., &c, &e. C A I.I. AI>? SEI: LS! AND SAVE MOSEY! CARPETS, "WINDOW SHADES and LACE CURTAINS big specialties. CALIFORNIA BLANKETS at a great sacrifice. GUNS to suit any price. Come and See. Don't fail to Come and See Us. Oucc dealing will bring you again. D. EPST1N, New York Store. C. MATTHEW. J. M. MAYHEW. C. Mayhew & Son, COLUMBIA, S. C. MONUMENTAL :ARCH!TECTS; A!vD?BU3LDERS, COLUMBIA MASBLE WORKS. Manufacturers jI'and Dealers in All Kiii'iis of/ AMERICAN AND ITALIAN MARBLE WORK. Mantel?, Monuments ami Tablets furnished to nny design at Lowest Prices. Polished Granite Work, either Na live or Foreign, to order. Building Stone of all kind furnished. Correspondence solicited with those in want of any work in the above lin.?. Jan 7-lyr. BUTTER FOR FAMILY USE IX CONVENIENT PACKAGES. I will have in another lot of the 10 pound cans of BEST GILT EDGE BUTTER, such as save such general satisfaction, in tima for Christmas. My patrons can leave orders for'same, it will be sent home. Also tubs of fine Creamery Butter at 24 cents delivered. ONE CAE OF at my yard. Price to suit times. CQWFEED, BRAN. (HACKED CORN. HAY. PEAS. CORN, &C &C., COAL. BCcd Chestnut \>h, II? rd Coal. BURNS EIGHT HOURS. All goods delivered free. John A. Hamilton. Notice! Intending to change 'my busi ness by the 1st of January I will positively sell (comnienc Mta from the 21st instant) all the CROCKERY and TIN WARE I have on hand regard-, less of cost. Call around be fore buying and he convinced that this is no humbug. .9. SOKKhWlEIil-:. 2 doors South of Henry Kehn. to ian l FRUIT! FRUIT!! FRUIT!!! Finest variety of Tropical Fruits iu Mar ket. Fresh cargoes every week. MALAGA GRAPES. BANANAS, ORANGES, COCOANUTS. Northern Fruits. APPLES, PEANUTS, NUTS, CITRON, RAISINS, FIGS. STOi'ders filled with dispatch. C. BART & CO, 53, 55 and 57, Market Street, oct 22-Cma CHARLESTON, S. C. Tai MtihrMpok Gallen OVER 13. R. OWEN'S, Russell Street, Orangeburg, S. C. To the Public : I have opened a first class Photo Gallery. I would ho pleased to have samples of work examined at Gallery. All werk strickly first-class. Photos of Groups and Babies a speciality by Instant method. All Vowing Exteriors, Dwellings, Horses, Hogs and Animal; taken at short notice by instant method. Old pictures copled/.uul enlarged. Special attention given to this branch of work. Pictures finished in water colors, India Ink and Cravon. Also Photo taken from th? size of smallest pocket to full lifo 3x3feet All work done with neatness and dispatch. Vcwing any where k> the Stab?. Special discounts on all ordersover3l0.no. Give me a call, 1 will assure satisfaction. All work CASH ON DELIVERY. Postively no credit. VAN ORSDELL, Artist, July 17 Russell Street, Orangeburg, S. C. Notice. \ LL PERSONS HAVING CLAIMS iV against the Estate of Mrs. FRANCIS R. WOLFE, deceased, will present them to the undersigned on or before January 21, l?se. J. A. WOLFE, Dec 24-4* Executor