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John Says He Didn't Tell That 1 Whopper In The Monroe Tournal John Beasley has the following to say i * in reply to our charge that he ? had been away attending a falsi- r fication school, and that he \ wrote the big yarn about the corn stalk m Buford: i "it is hard for one to leave c one's home for the short time of a two weeks, and come back to 1 find one's reputation, built by r years of steady plodding, is in 1 jeopardy. That is the experience 1 I have rerpntlv nnHprirnup "As seme of our readers are ' c aware. The Journal prints an- < other sheet down at Whiteville, 1 which parades under the name i of "The News Reporter." As < the tobacco season started down there about three weeks ago the i biys were swamped with work I and sent a call to The Journal < for help. Being the football in i the office, I was sent down there I for the long space of two weeks, i "On mv return, I learned that i Capt. Heath was circulating a i good one on me about mv deaf- ? ness in his characteristic good 1 humor. As it didn't really hap- ? pen, and as they say nothing but f the truth hurts, I don't mind t telling it even if I am the victim. I was being examined by a j recruiting officer in Charlotte. according to the Captain. The j officer placed a watch to my ear 1 and ask me if I heard it ticking, j "Yes," he replied. He remov- c ed it a little further off. Still I 1 heard it. But as I had previous- \ ly shown myself to be a little 1 deaf in asking him to repeat i questions, the officer became suspicious, Seizing a door knob < while I wasn't looking (accord- 1 ing to the Capt.), he placed it i close to my ear. "Do you hear i that?" he wanted to know. 1 "Sure," I replied, thinking he i still held the watch in his hand, i Then, (still according to the 1 Capt.) the officer said: "You go < home. You hear too d?n well!" i "lust as I was getting over my | peevishness. Zeb Green came i around. "Hello!" he greeted me, US hp chr?r?lr rr?** K /? * .J "T 1 _ V.wwn Hi J uauu, 1 KUL'W 1 vou were back when I read that corn stalk in The Journal!'* ? Vainly I protested that I was 1 not the author of that yarn, hut he couldn't be convinced. I grew madder still; but this morn ing. when I had about recover- j ed my usual equinamity, I read < Tucker's Pageland Journal. "The Journal editor, in a recen tissue of the paper, took ex- i ception to my state ment that most newspaper men nrp npccimioic . ?. - w |y v^UI I ? Now I leave it up to Journal read J j ers if I haven't all the cause in the 1 world to be a rank pessimists. 1 One couldn't possibly be an opti mist with the guns of jCapt ? Heath, Zeb Green, and Tucker i all leveled on him." i ^WWWVWVW ' ? Al Fire Insurance 5 property Irom destructic ^ Hail Insurance Policy i ^ loss this summer. J A loan on your F J cent might interest you. ^ See us before it is ? Pageland Insurai 5 ^VWWVWWW ' r 5f. . >** J-K iVhat It Means to tail to N01 APpear Foo Governor manning has issued the following statement with re:ard to the penalty for failure or T efuse to appear for examination vhen called by a local beard: T^e "Some people do not seem to lust mderstand fully the provisions so \ >f ihe selective draft act. If ^oaf I0W iny person, called to appear be- whn fore a local board for exami- post lation. fail or refuse to do so, lis name is certified to the dis rict board. If within the time ^c' illowed he fails or refuses to ippear before the district board; ^ lutomatically certified to the ^ii State authorities as one who mac las been called for military serv- an' ce, and has not been exempted can >r discharged. A "When so certified, a man is of f n the military service of the sett United States, and is subiec* to g?a >rders from army officials. For P0" nstance, if he is ordered to re on >ort to a mobilization camp, he P011 nust do so; should he fail, he en* 7 1 rro 1 r will first be marked as absent without leave, and should this ibsence continue for 10 days, OLI le will be posted as a deserter md so treated. The penalty C H or desertion from the army in ime of war is death." J John's Still Grouchy "k" and tonroe Journal. "If people don't hush talking ? lbout such fine corn; such de- rou icious watermelons, and such uicy fruit, some Mohamme- ? ian is coming along and mis- mei ;ake this country for his long rou; promised heaven of milk and like lonev. Listen at Tucker's ravngs: *er8 When we feast on watermel- ern. ans, cantaloupes, scruppernongs, j^Phuckleberries, etc., we some- , limes wonder why people still the iry to exist in a barren country like Union county. We might ? invite John Beasley, Zeb Green jac and Luther Huggins down here tys for a few days, but if they should a t come they could never stay up the there satisfied any more, and it's bre< probaly better to let them alone and let them think they are in a bac fairly good place. In this case t,la ignorance is bliss." or~ Thank heavens there is one 8W( warden snot in that Qnnth Pom. lina Sahara desert of sand! A A green grocer's boy hailed a wea vessel in dock at Liverpool, says ^ and English newspaper. The surly mate asked him gruffly ? ,q what he wanted. faw "I've got some vegetables for / the ship," was the reply. ridi "All right, you needn't come she aboard. Throw them up one at ask* i time," said the mate, and stood bet\ - 1 - 4 - * ? ' 1 enuy 10 receive tue expected rm vegetables. "Ahov, there, look out!" shoot?d the lad as he threw a dried ^c' sea toward the mate. I've got a' i sack of these." y?" reel * ? " f fori t n i. * flurj rolicy protects your ? tioE >n by lightning. A $ ^ of 3 night save you Irom ? 7 ^ egg (eal Estate at six per i eigl i for ; too lale. 5 T 88 I J nee & Really Co. 5 w in < ? * ^ oftc yvyvvvvvvyy** r MEASURED BY YEARS BE lish Idea That Life Is Made Real D)a and Full When Century Mark Is Reached. here is a certain fascination ? ut living a century (a fascination ; easily leads to falsification), i glory of the achievement sheds em er on the remotest connections, {ar hat there is always someone to it of the feat, and it is one of the ^,n ways in which any old person jca i can last out may bring fame to fa^ m i tt t ? ' .cinjr, vyiiancH xienrjr ueTOgO>, D., writes in the Outlook. an( It ain't '8 much 'at she d5ed, fra sobbed one old man at his ? hep's bedside. "She was old an' j ^ n't know nothin' no more, an' ^ had to go some time. But jes' to ^ ik five weeks more would ha' w}t le her a hundred ! Clos't as that, ^he then to have all them years o' ^ i go for nothin'!" ^hf hsurd, of course! As a matter rai act, there is no special reason far ing up the century post as a ^ I. As Prof. Irving Fisher has ^u] ited out in his famous "Resport ar{ National Vitality," the most lm- Qf tant dimension of life is n?t nei ^th but breadth. There is little ap 1 in the burdensome dragging of mf fe that is already spent. mfi 3 MAN RECOGNIZED BREED ^ lalnly Youngster Showed Himself me 8killed in One of the Attri- coi butes of a.Sailor. be' opi ack, the gallant member *of the ag's navee," had returned home, |gg I was regaling his family with s of the North sea. Pr Ah, I tell yer, we 'ad aome awfhl 1 gh nights out there! Nights I light I'd never live through!" Bah!" cried his father, an old chant seaman. "Yiou an' yer gh nights! Why, the North sea's i a lake compared to bits o' the :ific I been in! You young felare too mollycoddled in ,the mod*. . navy. Why, once I was in a 1S hoon in the South seaB, and it ^ v so 'ard that the caphi gave or- 1 9 to cut away the mast, and when carpenter came on deck th<? gale *? v tne teeth clean out of his saw/7 "c Grr! That's nothing!"1 snorted Tef k, contemptuously. "Why, Beat- 1111 squadron the other day caught jale, and it happened to catch 1111 ir guns end on, and itwblew the ^?1 echcs orf 'em!" ^ Jack/' said the old'man;, "I-take k my sneering remarks after t! I can see you're a good sail- 811 -in every way V?London An- co rs. m( th FEATHERS ON HIS^FACE. sh wr l Johnson county fjather who rs a mustache, asked his threer-old daughter to kisn him, hut, lis surprise, she backed away. He ad her why. She answered: !ause you got featheirs on your i." It l few days later when ushe was out ,ni ,nuk u? j ii ff lift wiiii net itttucr tuiu uioiiier **v 6aid that her face wats cold. They tei ed her if she wished to sit back m' veen them and she said: " L s^f con." But instead of moving to 'n hack of the seat she sat on the a 1 e. Her father asked her to sit k, but she was contrarry. "Why, rr< eel," said her father, "you said on wanted to sit back there." T1 I never," she retorted. tel said I tin con."?Indianapolis News. ^0{ dr ITS ECONOMIC VALUE. cei eal What purpose does ,the vermin appendix serve, Tontmy?" Please, sir, it is used to make q*y *eons get rich quick .on opera- wc l8" , tu LAYING A FOUNDATION. How did you lay the foundation rour fortune?" ^ I didn't lav it. I organized- an rjf monopoly. The hens laid it." c ?1 ' / GO WELL TOGETHER., / ' 'atienee?They say Saturn has it moons. (]r 'atrice?It must be*a great place hammocks. (.c] NARROW E8CAPE. ' Did jour partner trump over'you lsual ?" tK No, but she camo within an ace loing it" th IN CHICAGO. v ?... frs. Dearborn?Does,she believe >arly marriages? ,^r Trs. "^Vahflsh?Oh, yes; early and ; p - ?r1 A - ' & :t s STOWED PRAISE ON WOMEN tinguiahed Frenchman Referred in Complimentary Terms to Their Work In Military Bureaus. Some days before leaving the mch ministry of war General ques gave out a circular on the ploymeJRt of women in the miliy bureaus. This has created much ument in France, but up to this le has received no notice in Amern papers, even in those that are orably inclined to the recognition women in many employments 1 also favor their right of sufge. rhe general says: "At divers times ave called to your attention the inest that is attached to the replac-j j by women in all employments ere it is possible, military men ei;r in the armed or auxiliary serv. In spite of the inexperience of ! debutantes, their complete ignoice of military terminology con tuting tjie chief obstacles to their ployment in the bureaus, the rets, after some few months of trial, ; fully satisfactory. The good will these women is everywhere, or arly everywhere, praised. Their plication to the work, the fear of eting reproaches, their desire to ike good, all these are qualities it one did not meet in the same ^ree among many of the military ;n whom they have replaced. In iclusion, the trial has succeeded yond the predictions of the most timistic." :W MATERIAL FOR ROOFING ocess Evolved by Which Waste Bark Can Be Made to Take Place of Expensive Stock. The forest products laboratory exrts, in their efforts to reduce the lount of waste in the lumber instry, have long declared that they ve been able to utilize everything t the bark, just as the pork packer said to market everything but the ueal of the hog, according to nerican Forestry. Now they have even found a way use the bark. By a new process iste bark can be used to partially place expensive rag stock in the mufacture of felt roofing, and is ready being used commercially by ills co-operating with the laborary experts. The bark thus used is at remaining after the extraction the tannin for leather work, and e same waste bark has been used ccessfully for the making of a mmercial wall paper. Experisnts now in progress indicate that e hemlock bark may be used for eathing paper, carpet lining, bottle appers and deadening felt. ARTIFICIAL MILK. A process has been discovered in lgland for the manufacture of artiial milk for human consumption, is claimed that a wholesale and expensive substitute can be made >m peanuts, soy beans, sugar, wa and the mineral salts found in ilk. The milk so produced, it is itcd, may be condensed and sold tins in the usual way or dried to powder and sold in bottles. It may given a certain percentage of am by the addition of coconut ot e of the other tasteless nut fats, le residual meals, rejected after b special factors required have en taken from them, are mixed, ied until they contain only 10 per nt of water, and used as food for ttle. As a curiosity, the "milk" thus oduced would be interesting, tough it is questionable whether it >uld prove an acceptable substite. WHAT HAPPENED. "What happened to the nest egg at .lones set aside when he mar d ?" "It hatched into alimony." EXACTLY. Walton ? Boozer says he even inks in his dreams. Galton?A case of linrnnanirma lehration.?Life. MEETING THE EMERGENCY. "Can't nerve anything wet with is meal, sir." "All right ; then bring me someing extra dry." TOO BAD! "My poems are the children of my ain." "They should be aent to a reform boo!." The Wingate School I A high grade preparatory school designed to give the best training to boys and girls of this section of the State. The students who have gone out from this institution prove the quality of the work done. A strong, clean, moral atmosphere pervades this school community, and makes it easier to begin Christian living and service. Excellent Literary, Music, and Business courses of- |^H fered. Prepares for college entrance without exami fl| nation. Tuition very reasonable, and board at twelve H| dollars per month. Manv students do light house- Wk keeping at very little cost. Literary societies are do H| ing fine work. Enter the first day and give us a trial. The Fall Terms opens August 21, 1917, For c?talog address flfl J. G. CARROLL, Principal, I Wingate, N. C. jccccccoco&5K I Q FREE Watch This Add Each Week FREE? H ^ Free CLAXTONOLA Free^ l b Special Sales Day Every b I S Wednesday. ^ I 8 $2.00 in Deposit Checks given lor every h X nn CL-- CI- I n l r> i X H v vi.vu ^aiu iui oiiu^s, ouppers ana raim Deacn v wm 5 Suits on These Days, to the Contestants. k I 6 Premiums are going, push up and try to get? Q you one. Bring your Letters and comp to Thek ?Campaign Store lor an explanation. A? V A Watch forJAug. 29*h. Premiums won, call fork l ?Them, July 18th no. 12, July 18th no. 12,? } k July 25th no. 151. & ? Fleishman s Yeast Thursdrys. ^ x Facts arc Facts. | p J. R.Cato x toooosoococcoK jooegggggegg August Stimulator I and Trade Tonic I j We always have so many values worthy of spec- I I ial mention,| but we cannot give them justice in this | j space, uur Dry goods department is doing a flour- \ ishing business this summer due to the fact that we have^ Quality Goods. We can still fit you in a Suit, pair Pants, Hat, Shoes, Slippers and Tennisses. We[still have a good assortment of summer Dress \ Goods Always come to us and we will be glad to fill your order. MUNGO BROS. Meet me at Mungo Bros. Mori mc at Mungo ^?COCCCCCCC< 8 s ? Financing The Farmer | x b A The farmer's business often needs a little extra X X financial backing if it is to grow and prosper. X Q That is one reason why he should have strong O and willing bank behind him. Q Q It is an important function of this bank to give ? IS temporary assistance to the farmers who seek it IS a of us, and who have demonstrated their ability to X X repay obligations when due. X O The best way to have a credit here is to carry $ San account with us, and we cordially invite not ? only the farmer but every one who wants;to gain V S ground financiallyjto dojso. t? Q \ 8 The Bank of Pageland 8 jLpooeeeeoesoee soseesecGeoJi