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4 DEVOT D TO SOUTHERN RIGHTS, DEMOCRACY, NEWS, LITERATURE AN TS. * W31aw S FRI 1AN 8, Proprietor. aVUV St jouaNO B - xx. SUMITE RVIL LE, S. o.' NOVE MBER 2',182 MISCELLANEOUS. From the llustrawtd Family Friid. , A LETTER OF INTRODUCTION * . k. FIa al Cannflower. AASOHFUL MAN'S STORY. him who haus never suffered m.tihe horrors of bashfuhess, pass by this article. He will find here no thing with which he can sympathize. Irit'he who knows the exquisite mise riOfa temperament, whose very na turgiainhost shits him out from human sympathy, while it opens upon hii the full sluices of laughter and ridi oulo, he only should read, for he only a;mundersutAid, this chapter of my aff'crings. It is but a specimen of my life. E.c uno disee omnce. To all others it will be in the proud con sciousness of the unspeakale bless ng of impudence, let theim thank heavet that its waters can never flow for them. As my object is but to give a spe eninen of the numerous contre temps that incessantly beset me, the io. mont [ appear in ladies' society, I sh:illmercly speak of those thalt be fel me at tie only dinner in Paris, to which .was invited. Though la datn with introductory letters, I ney 6r delivered another. oIpass by. the varirus efforts I made, beuro I could muster sufficieit reso lution to deliver to Madlme 0., the qe that procured for me, and a friend4* who cate with me, the dinner In quaetibn. I pass by, too, my trepi patio~n al the. everlasting peal withm dlh thegelresponided to my touch. orely cu'd I distinguish the arlez, ait Suiese, over the porter's lodge, whore probahly Swiss never sbood. since its erection. I pass by, !Geveral minor blnders ; auch no nak ingstho :portbr to direct us to " lI -hanire de Madame," meaning her kriviiig-room. Siffice it to sav, thM~my less nervous coml)panion, die tio6ary in hand, boldly led the way; *hathaving traversed a goodly numn )er of courts anil stairs, we at lenigth srrived safely at an ante-room, where .tood a servant before a pair of fold tngdoors, which he threw wide open, Jand annonned us by a pair of nan.es, 1hat we should never have recognised As our own, had we met them else Whereo Already agitated, and perspiring with nervous tropidation, this osten tations mode of, entrance, so different from the republican simplicity to ;which I was accustomed, was a formi 'dable trial to me. My cheeks tingled, my lknees trembled, and my heart 6eat violently. I slunk silently be hind my unabashed companion, and . doavored to gather sufficient cour. age to conceal the tremor that shook ine like. an ague-fit. Madame C. rose to receive us; and, as we ap. proachod he, it became necessary that I should deploye from behind my. friend. But in ao doing, I did not notice a large pet dog, who, com o'rlbly stretched on a red velvet emahion,-lay napping beside his mis trpo, directly ini my path. On I S w eat, anxious only to get through ~ the introductory ceremonies as soon as possible, and then to ensconce my P ecf in some remote corner, where, The world forgouing, by the world forgot." Smight escape all notice or remark. But truly says the French proverh, ZuLhommne se propose, mais c'ecst le &bon zsu qui dispose;" anid very .un Ifortunate were his dispositions for my natention. -As 1 hastened on, all glowing with confusion, and (quaking - sith fright, just as I began my bow, Ilstumbled over the detested pet, and-was suddenly precipitated head fremost, like an anciert battering ~r, into the lap of Miss P'. ; ove ~tiiing~ppisodically a countryman of sn wwho was seated next her, ~ega. Tosave himself, he instinctive * y grasped the back of her chair; and Jiig weight at her rear, acting at the isame emoment that I was hurled at SIerefront,. decided all hesitation, and * ver'we all rolled together, the chairs Suppermost. The vile cur who had en ithe bottom of tho whole mis oh6It', selaed me by the leg, and, re 'eivjng a hearty kick in return, add. (I his huowhing to the chorus of dis ~y toiw tilled the apartment. pplte female sufferer in this ee, engrossed all the sympathy 7 ud nttenton of the comrpany; but I 'well 'knw', that in the short minute 4lm had elasdd sin-ce I entcred the apartmcnt. I had made three mortal eilemies, Of a man, a dog, and a la dy; - For my own part, as soon as I had extricated myself from the terrible crash, covered with confusion and shame, I retreated into the most ob scure corner of the room, whero I sought to hide myself and my over whelining mortification, behInd the guests who were lounging about there. The call to dinner served as a re lief to my embarrassment, for I hoped that that would engross every one's attention, which now, I cuuld not help feeliig, must be occupied with my awkwardiess. Following the company into the diihing-roomn, I saw that each plate contained a card, on which was written the ntame of the guest who was to occupy the place thus designated. Every one seemed tu find his own place by magic; but for ile, flur or live times did I make the circuit of the table, looking in vain for mine. Indeed, I know not but [ might Iavo continued running about unnoticed aimong the crowd of iervants, all dinner-time, had not Madame O.'s eye at length detected mne, as I eircled round and round, with an hysterically increasing ra pidity, my eyes dim with confusion, and a olamnmy perspiration bodewiig evOry pore of my body; and I at length sunk into my seat, when found, fairly exhausted with mortification and shnme. Here, agaii, .I foumid myself embarrassed with my hat, Which, having observed that all re tained in their hands in the drawing room, I still grasped with nervous pertinacity. This I at length dis. posed of, as I thought at the time, %ith wouiderful ingenuity; for I hung it by the irim between --- -v,? 0 pZi cavity. My seat was iext to a young lady, wYhom of course, I was expected to entertain. I entertain ! Wofully, 'dlready. had I citertained the coim panly; but I fouitd myself infinitely better adapted to entertain a compa y en mra se than sinyulutin. The ordinary routine, of a French linner now commenced. Soup and >ouillie, fish. and fowl, and flesh; en tremets and hor L' ourres,while a regular series of servants appeared eh instait at our elbows, Inviting us to partake of a thousand different dishes, and as many different kinds of wine, all under strings of names which I no more underAtood, than I Uilerstood their composition, or than Ehey diI my gaucheries. Resolute to avoid all further opportunities for displaying my predomiient trait, I Sat in the iiost obstiinae silence, say ing " oui " to every thing that was offered me, and eating with a most devoted application, till inl at evil hour, mny fair neighbor, weary of my taciturnity, and her own, at length herself began a conversation, by ask ing how I was pleased with the opera. Tho question was put at an unlucky moment. I was just raisIng a large morsel to my mouth; and i 01 der to roply as quickly as possible, I htastily thrust it in, intending to swallow is as hastily. Good Hleavenrs ! It was at hot as burning lava. What could 1 .do ? TIhie lady's eyes were fixed on me, waiting a rceply to her quesCtion1. But my mionthi was ini fhnnes, In vain I rolled thre burning morsel -iithcr and thither, rocking my head from aide to side, while uy eyes, which involuntarily I had fixed oin her, wer~e straining frotm their sockets. She regarded may grinaces, of the cause of which I believe she wvas ignorant, with an expression of amazement and surprise, at which 1 canl laugh now n~hen I thinkl of it. "Monsieur est maader' at length she gciitly, and in an anixious tone, inqfuired. I could lhear no more. My mouth was flayed with the burn ing mass, and smnartinig with intoler able pain; so, quietly abandoning thme point, I opened it to its utmost, and out dropped the infernal fire brand upon my plate. Not the slightest tendency to a smile, visibly ruffled the imperturable politeness of the lady. She soothirmgly condoled with me on rmy misfortune, then gradually led thme conversation to a variety of topics; till, exerting the magic influenco that true politeness always exercises, I began to forget oven my own blunders. Gradually, my checks burned less painfully, arid I could even join in the conversation without the fear that every word I uttered shared the tate of every aic tiou I attempted. I even ventured to hope, nay, to congratulate myself, that the catalogue of my calamities was completed for the day. "Let no one call himself happy be fore death," said Solon; and he said wisely. The ides of March were not yet over. Before us stood a dish of cauliflower, nicely done in butter. This I naturally enough took for a custard-pudding, which it suffi ciently resembled. Unfort unantely, my vocabulary was not yet extensive euough to embrace all the technical ities of the table; and when may fair neighbor inquired if I were fond of chou-fleur, I verily took it to be the French for custard-pudding; and so high was my panegyric of it, that my plate was soon bountifully laden with it. Alas! one single niouthful was enough to dispel my illusion. Would. to heaven that the chou-fleur had vanishd along with it. But that remained bodily; and, as I gaz ed despondingly at the luge mass, that loomed up hinost as large, and,) as burnin, as Vesuvius, my heart lied within me. Ashaned to con fess tray mistake, though I could al most as readily have- swallowed an equal quaratity of soft soap, I strug. gled manfully on against tihe diaboli cal compound. I endeavored to sap the mountainous heap at its base and slhuttir my eyes and open ing rmy mouth, to iranhie a large massos as I could without stopping to taste it. But my stomnach soon began, intelligibly enaourgh, to imitate its intention to alirit no more of this nauseous stranger beanath its roof, if not even of expielling that which had already gained unwelcome admit tance. The seriousness of the task I had undertaken, and the . reon* l .. otoemycexer l1i T .nks an11 rapil1ity to IM eXeT tionas, which appetite would not haive inspired; weln my plate, having somehow got over tle edge of tht table, upon my leaniinag forward, tilted up, and dowi slid the disgust ing iasi into my lap. My handker chief, unable to bear so weighty a load, bent under it in its turn; and a great proportion of it was thus safoly deposited in my hat. T ie plate instantly righted itself, as I a aised my person; and as I glanced ny eye round the table, and saw that nto onec had noticed iny disaster, I ianwardly congratulated myself that the nauiraseous deceltio)n was so hap pily disposed of. Iesolving not to be detected, I instantly rolled my handkerchief together with all its reluainin" contents, amld whipped it into my pocket. Tile dinner table was at length de sorted for the drawinag room, where coffee and liemurs were served round. Meantime, I had sougIt out what I considered a safe hiding. place for my hat, beneath a chair in the dining room, for I dared not carry it longer in any lanrd; having first thrown a morsel of paper into the crown, to hide the caualiflowcer from view, shoul nv one ebace, inI seeking for his own hat, to look ini to mine. Onm myv retu:-n to thae drawinig room, I chanced to be againm seated by thae lady by whromr 1 lad rsat at din ner. Our con versationa w a natural ly resmead; arid wue were ira the midst of nan animnated discuassion, wihen a liugo spider was se'en a un ning, like a race horse, up her armn. "TIake it off-take it ol"' she ejaculated, in a terrilled tone. I was always afaid of spidlers; so to avoid touching himn ithd my had, I caughat nay handrkerebaief from mya~ pocket and clapped it at onice upna thre naiscreant who vwas already mounting" over her temaple with rampidl strides. (aciouis H1 eavenl I land forgotten thae caulilower; whrieb mow plastered over lien- face like an emnollienut poultice, fairly killing the spider, andh blinadinag ana eye of thec lady; whrile little streamrlets of s->ft bumtter glided gently down her beauatiful neck arid haosomn. "Mon Dieu! mnon Dieu!"' exclaim ed thre astonishaed fair. "Mon Dieu!" was echoed froma every mnoutha. "Ihave you cut your hoad?" in quiredl one. "'Non! naon! -L'aru aee - l'araignee. Monsieur vienat d'ocra ser l'araignee." "'Qumello qunan~tite d'entrailles!"' ejaculated an astonished Frenchman, uanconsciously, to himself. Well might he be astonjihed. Thn spray of the execrable veptable, had spatter-ed her dress frop head to foot. For myself, the! nement the accident occured, I had uechanical ly returned my handkcrcaief to my pocket; but its conlten ta rouained. "What a monster it amat have been;" observed a yotag lady, as she helped to relieve tny %ictimzn from her cruel situation. ' "1 eclare I should think he had been living on cauliflower." At that moment, I felt some one touch me; and turning,;j saw my companion who had cotle with tue. "Look at your panta'oons," he whispet ed." Already half dead with confusion at the diaster I had iaused. I cast my eyes upon my ece white dress, and saw at a gla the hor riblo extent of my dille t. I had bee sitting upon the ital pocket, and had crushed out th lWquid but ter anld the soft, pastc. vegetable, which had daubed dripped down thein, till it seem a if I were actually dissolving in aritaloons. Dartliig from the sp I sprang to the place w% here I I -left tay lint: but before I cou reach it, a sudden storm or wrat as heard at the door. "Sacr-r-r-v! bete! S r-re! Sa cr-r-r-re!" their in the -et syllable being mado to roll like atchuian's rattle, mingled with an ier epithet and nane that an angr renchman never spares, was hear ising like a fierce tempest withoub'the door. Suddenly there was ak pause-a gurling sound, as of on'" wallowing involuntarily- and the 'storm -of wrath again broke out h redoub led fu ry . I qeiz'ed r ve hat and oiened th door. arid t ihole int hbad c d hatd;' tl'ie - d t:1 he sfa't e:ulillower gu-ishlig the e.rs, aid thiskers. Nev er shall I forget that spectacle. There lie stoud astride, like the collusus, and stooping gently forward, his eyes forcibly closed, his arms held drooping out fron his body, and drippiiig cauliflower and butter at every pore. I staid no longer; but, retaining his hat, I rushed from the house, jumped into a fiare, and arrived safe. ly at home; heartily resolving that to my last hour, I would never a .Liu doliver a letter of introduction. Sensiations of the Dying. The pain1 of dVing wintst be distinl. guiishedt fron lit. pail of t he previous discase; th r. when lifi- ebbs senmihility declinws.-Aks deaith is th finial ex tinctionl of corporeal feeling, So num11b niess iIcieas(TIeS as deth CInoes on. Tle p1roI)stratio11 (it disease, like helidllilil Ilttigei, enetiders a igr w stpr -a SenIutitn I 'subsidinig ofly into it covetei repise. Tl triition re seible s what ma,1y ,be seeni it those lofty nmniltainls, whoise nides cxhibit every elime in regular grdatiion; veg etitioll luxuriates at their l'ase, and din dles ini th approach111:Il to lhe regioni ot snowIV. till its* feeblest l. .nittionI isarepre d b-y the co.A. Thke so enle agon y cant inever lbe 14 wO for1 miildle tan wh len the braint is the last 14o g. anwd t- iud preseri es the statte of th body411 ; yet.persons thus then ('lose.. 'if I had st ren gthi ~ enough to hol a pen,' said Wilihunt~ llutr. lidt it ii to (lie.' 'It this bn dyving. sid~it thed tniece e Newiitoni of Olwey, 'it is press in,' adlds her uwnce'. 'wihich an lher dleath bed II, at tew y- aris ag .' lThe dlet a simiilar circumts~tnces, that we could1( till page's w.iIIth ~insanes whtieb are onily varie by the Iiunle oft thle spea'iker'i. 'if thtis be4 dyinig. said 1411rd 'I diot lsuppo1IJl .ei i w1 as s ' sweet tIo die1,' 5ah I Fris itSuariiez, Ithe Spanti ishi thlelotgian. Ani agrteeale su r pis wa the prevailin~g senttimenit with termIinte ini the a' of~~l Ithe1? torrent, anid they-~ founid it wa is lin~lg itself ini the ge'ntlest, currenI4?It. iThe wihole oft the Ijeiutieos s'eemt somnet imies conen-i ttedl oni the placid enijoymeni t'i. The day A r'thuri L Al'rphy dIie'd, lie kept repleatinlg fromi~ I'ope, "Tauligh haf budCIy reas~on. hnXi by meirII lh-enly, N'ori dotes t he calm partake otf lie setisitiveness oIf sickness. Thiere was a1 sw.elI ini the gea the day ('olling wood breathed his last upon the ele nent which had been the scene of his glory. Captain Thomas expressed i fear that he was disturbed by the tossing of the ship. 'No, Thioma,' he replied; 'I am now in a state in which nothing in this world cit disturb me more. I am( dying. and I am sure it nust be consolatory to you, and all who love mie, to see how coiforta >ly I am: coming to mlly end.' A second and common condition of the dying is to be lost to themselves and all around them in utter uncon eiusness.--Countenaneo nid gest tres night in many cases suggest that, how over dead to the external world, an nterior sensibility still remained; but we have the evidence of those whorn disease has left at the eleventh hour, that while their suffirings were pitied by their friends, exi'tence was a blank. Montaigne, when stunned by i fall from his horse, tore open his doublet; but he was entirely seinseless, itmd only kiiew afterward tlat lie had done it from the infurination of his at telants. The delirium of fiever is distressiig to witness; but the vie im awakes from it as fm oin heavy sleep, totally ignorant that he has Iasmed days and nights tossing wearily and talking wildly. Pereitions which l:ad oeenpied the entire iian, could ardly be oblitterated in the instant of recovery; or, if any one were ineliied to adopt the solutioii; there is vet >roof that the callousnessmias is real, in the unflitchiiig ianner in whiubh med-sores are rolled upon, thIat are too tender to bear totching when sense is restored. Wherever there is insmixibility, virtual death preced es death itself, and to div is to awake in another world. More u-ually the mind is in a state intermediate between activity and oblivion. Observers, :uaccIus tomied to sit by the bed of death, rap idly~ mi. e increasing hingior for total iiisenibilitvt buit thu-e w htt -" adilv distinhgish th o ti f , 111fjgh (nU ln. is ':e*ldet-tat lhe e. 'm huough dimn. in rbbiarkiir f k )r. V 11.1i that his mind was gone, the expiring phil O(i.pher 1:madle a sigial for paper and pencil. wrote down somie figuies, and cast thei up. The superior en ergy of his character was tihe principul difference bet ween himself and thon sands who (lie and give no open sign. Their fiteulties survive, though averse to even the fiintest emdbrt, and they blly testify in languid and brokei: i'hralses, that the torpor of tie hody more thait keeps pace with the inertncss of the mind. The saime report is givei by those who have advanced to the very border of the country front wh henee no travel er return. AMontaigne, aifter his ae cident, passed ii- a corpse, and the first feeble indications of returning hit. resem bled soilne (I the Co ill mon lest symapt onmis of udeath1; i:ut his own: feel nhgs were those of a timan who is dropping into the sweets of slunber, and his longing was towards blaik rest, a:Imul not, for reco'very. A Ie. thoutglt,' lie sas' 'my life oily hung I upon: my lips; aid I thut in.y e1yes to iiy to thrist it out, aid took a Ileasure inl laingii.uiinfg and letting Iy self g4 I.' Ill imainy ofI these instaices, Its inl (lses of stuipeact ion, there tire ppIJ1 ealraIIces which we ltv eI letirIt to :csociate withI su:tkeing, beanse coi stantly coinjoiiited with it. A coild >eespiiriationi bedews t he skimn; the breatthiing is harsh andi labored; and iminie s, especiallyh~ ini delicaite ianwllts, death is niobere~d ini by coin vuilsive mi~iovements. w,~hich 10ook like thme wrestling with aim oppressivye eniemy; but t hey arie signs of debilIity', and a itilIing system, which have no relatio n to pa:in. There is hardly ani ocasion wi ben hm:le patienits hluore vehiemient. ly fhr Iife' thani in am: attack oif asthana, which, in: fhet, is a siti eienitly distressing disorder beire the tbejudged by the biegilnning. D r. 'ampb1 ell, the well knowni Scotchi pro te.-sor, hadi a seizurie, whieb all but itcar ied him til; ia fewv monithls before lie sneenmi:bed toc thle dIisease. A cord ial gave ii uneixpevcted relief, anid his tirst woirds were to expiress its. ti niishmenii:t, at thle sad co unteniance of his fiinds; becau~se his own mind, he told themi, was in: such a state at the Crisis of' thle at tack, frim th:le expecta here wats no (it lher waiy to describe his teeliings than to say h~e wats in: raptu:re. I ighut, indeed, mu :st have bee:: t he sulterings as lie gaspied for breathi; since Iphysital agoy, hatd it existed, woulid have quite sub lduted thle miental cestacy. As jt!.le is the death-swet,. furced out by anguish. Coil as ice, his pulse niearily gonec, 'at imotrtitl perspiraitiin ran: down th -btody' of L~a Bloetie, the triend ot Mot *ige ind it was at this moment th!at , rosed biy the weeping (if his iehitivel'S, ho e'xclmed, '\Vho is it ti::t tormenlts ine thms ' W~hy ws I ntched. from nmy dleep and pleasani repose ? 0, of what rest do you prive me ' Such Ond lamentatiom, disturb many a lastlimoment; and the dy ing often remonstrateby looks wheti they connot by words, iHard as it may be to control emotions with the very heart-strings ready- to crack, pity demands an efibrt in which the strong est. afittioni will be siurest of success. The grief will not be more bitter in the enx, that to keep it back had been the last service ot iove. Tears are a tri. bute of which those who bestow it should bear all the cost. A worse torment is the attempt to arrest, ihrei. bly, the exit of life, by pouring cordi als, down throats which cal no longer swallow, or more madly to goad the motionless body into a miinifestation of existence-by the application of pain. It is like the plinga of the spur into the side of the of the courser, which roused limn, as he is falling, to take another bound before he drops to rise no more.-London Qualrterly. Too Willing By half. A neARoINU HOUSE SY.TC. Many of our readers will recoginize the point of the following joke, which we heard related a long time ago, but which we never saw iln print. It's a good 'un, and will hear re-telling: While General Jackson was Presi denit of the United States. he was tor mented day after day by importunate visitors, (as most Chief Magistrates of this "great country " are,) whom be did inot care to seo-and inl conse (ulcie, he gave strict directions to the messenger at his door to admit only certain persons n11 a particular day. In spite of this pereitory order, however, the attt nlant bolted into his apartment during the forenoon, and in formed the General that a person was outside whom he could not control. who claimed to see hii, orders, or no orders. * By the Eternal !' exclaimed the old Uan111, ne0'rvoii 1Y, 'I wvon't submit to this ."a ,j it s is lnam~el v patdo, Sir-it.'s a woman. 'A womi ! Show her in, James; show her in,' said the President, wiping his face; and the next Illomenit tie: e entered the General's apartment, a neatly clad female of paist the 'middle age,' who advanced courteously to. wards the old mai, and accepted tlle chair profiered lier, 'Be seated, madam.' .lie said. 'Thank yon,' responded the ladv, throwing aiside her veil revealing a handsome thee to her entertainer. 'Aly mission hither to-day, General,' continued the fhir speaker, 'is a novel 010, and you canl aid me, perhaps.' 'Madame,' said tle General, 'com, maild ie.' 'You are very kind, sir. I am a poor woan, Genivral 'Poverty is no crime, madam.' 'No sir; but I have a little ithmiily to care for-I am at widow, si; and a olork em1lployed in one of the departinents of your administration is indebted to lie for board to a considerable amount, Which I cannot collect. I naced the mo niey, sadly, and I come to ask if a por tioli of his paty eaonot be stopped, from timtle to time, until this claim of mine -ani ho est onie General, of which he had the full Vail ui-shal I lie enneelled.' 'I, reallv-m11adam-that is, I have no contrdl ill that way-how much is tiLe bill ) 'Seventy dollars, sir; hecre it is.' 'Exact ly; I see. Anmd his salary, ntadami /' 'Is said to be $IQ200 a year.' 'Amid not pay his btoardl bill ?' 'Amid y'ou see,~ sir, this h~as been) stand ig live m oniths unpaid. Three days henciie lhe will draw his mnonthtly pay; amid I thought sir', if y ou would be kinld enoughi to-' 'Yes, I have it; go to him again, andi get his niote to-daiy for t hiirty days.' 'I lis note, sir !It wouildii't be worth the pae on whieb it was written ; he pays noone a dollar vo)upitarily.' 'But lie will give you his note-will he not, mai~dami 1' 'Oh:, yes-lie would be glad to have a recspi te iln thait way for' a mlonlth, no doubt.' 'That's right, then. Go to him to bittaini his nlote at thirty days tromz to day, give himl a recoipt in full, :pid coine to IIue t his e'venling.' The lady departed, called upon the yonng link, dunned him i for the amun nt-at whichl he only similed aind finally asked him n to give hter his nlote for it. "' bd sure,' said lie, 'give a note saiit'n. Enid lllIL'c good ila)' it do you, nium.' 'You'll pay it wheni it fhils due., won'it you, sir-thirty days hence?' 'Oh, yes-sart'n, oteour so I will; I always paiy my notes, itmm, I do,' and as the lady decpartudl, the knoewing young gent believ'ed lie hqd ;gepom p~lSlshed a neat trick once miore. 'I wonder what the deuce she'll do with the nlot ?I (Gad! I'd like to settle some qIf the other accounts in the same14 wa'r. Unn'me shv'll hau t enoi a cin The called agal hours afterw 'Did you get t 'Yes, sir, here it i The President quis over, and with a dalh of the ianie of Andrew Jackson u back of it - "'Take this to' the Bank to morning, Mladau, and you.ean g runuey for it,' he said, rriCd IfY The lady acted accordingly lound no difliculty in obtin cash for it at sight, A week before that mortf,'asjp Wt f ation, Mr. John Smith recei gi to the following effect: BANK UFb.WAsnIJNQruO, Sli: Your note fo seventy aru is due on the 20th insth , ot th f and you are requested to call and ' the &ime. 'Ha, ha ! ' screamed JUhnu4* readiug this brief note. 'A epitil Joke, that. Can't come it,ftum - cant, too how! Scare crow--jeft for, collection-I un'stand--on ' r go!' and John very soon f Ou'aydy came around%ain and John ytoo his rnonthly 'stip'nd once inore, *100 from the C'asler of the Department, as usual. At he passed down the avenue, tho :unpaki board bill suddrly entered his head, 'Who the deuce now has been ool enough to help the old woman in "thi business, I wonder?' said John, to hia. sel. 'Gad lII go and see. e 'a101 a hum, I know; but I'd like to know if she has really fouled stay bod th that bit of paper; and enteriqg Bank he asked for the note 'left for collection agaipst pipQ, 'it Vas d3Cicounted,' Said the ' V - y, who in thi A ~y,$v-t au~ you lna gt 61n thii. n 'Backer I m-.-backer, whoV,, 'Hero is the note; you can sie the Teller, handing him the doCUMeu k -on which John instantly recogn the bold signature of the then .P dent (if the United Statp., 'Sold-by Moses!' exclaimedoi drawing forth the money with a hys terie gasp-for he sAW thropgh tflQ moverneti at a glance. The note was of course paid, an justice was awarded to the sgendthr at once, On the next morning ho foi on his desk a note whiih contAtnd the following entertsinin bit of pa npl TQ JoiY SMrI, .sQ.--Sir . A ocange having been made in office, I ain directed by the _Presden* to inform you that your services will no longer be needed by this Departe muent. . Yours, - ,Seeretary John Snith retired to private 41fe at once, and thaeneforward found - 1 convenient to live on a much smaller allowance than twelve hundred a .yearl Communicatel to the South Cztroyl; a Mr, Webster' Uraia, Ma. EDITOR: II the aponnt of the pmost mforteml examination o:f Mr. Web. ster published in your last number, it ~ is stated, that the cerebral organs were of the largest known capacity-ex ceding by thirty per cent. the ay iptga' weight of thle human brain; andfiatli only two knmown exceptions, Cuvier and Duopuytren, the largest of which'thero * isayrcord. The weight of Dgr, W.sbrain is not given. And whbat ja the average weight ? .Georgp, Cornbp, 4 the distinguished phrenologist, *s peri haps the best authority living; and no~ cording to him, the average isQ 50.pz avomrduiIs, This would give the great Northerner the largesi, bisi oti" record. The heaviest brains ofwhjeh we have account tare those~ of. Dr, AI.bereromabie, Cuviecr and Duputyroe --the t wo foraier weighing 633 oz. each,* and the latter 64' oz. It will he p'erceived, if the above is ' the average ot t he LBoston~ physielan0, thait Mr. WXebster's exceeded the great French surgeon's by ohip outig1 and therciore., it stanIdssingle anid alonj~ - as the heariest brain ever kno n. [We expect soon to get ga p }i repoist of the surgeon in the Ba~t; r'" Medical and Surgical Joganl.---En.A The Novels of Engene sue; Geo Sai's Consuaelp, sard soyerai p~ writings of' Frederie Sopiljig Seribe and Alexyndpr Dujifae . ?t~ dicted to be relad in Spaiq~. ~ gathered this seaspnm elese~n imnd4 and seventy-sevagbuslelsidfA tatoes from ,thrree frtr06 atdA.e64.. lef't,yehind, i e sais, ou~ghtb t7 ~en apout fory hiogs."