University of South Carolina Libraries
; v The Beaufort Tribune. VOL. 11.-NO. 2(5. BEAUFORT. S. U., MA Y IT. 187(5. $1.50 PER ANNUM. I Parting. 4'8o far?so far!" Nay, (moot! nor distant lands, Nor breadth of waters oan avail to bar My lovo from thee. Alas! 'tis over far, To yearning hearts, the smallest place that Btands Beyond the oompaBS of outstretching hands ; And never near?how oloso so e'er to each True lovers be?if kisses may not reach Across the distanco. Since barBh fate commands, Darling, farewell! With tearful eyes I go, Unknowing when the glad return shall be; But I will think?to mitigate my woe? How loving souls of time and tide are free ; And oft, to greet thee, dearest, mine I know. Exultant, willo'erleap the sundering sea! THAT HOME-MADE ICE CREAM. "Good gracious, mar!" said Angelica Crauo to her overworked parent, at nightfall of a memorable day?a day that marked tho beginning of the young squire's Christmas holidays at home, and every miume ot it crammed and crowded with labor for tho entertainment in his honor at tho Crane homestead? "good gracious! yon ain't going to have some home-made cream, surely ?" Tho young lady's nose, which was exceedingly retrousse already, was perched high in tho air with disdain. ' If there's anything I c.in't abide," she said, " it's frozen corn starch ; and that's all yon can make of homo-made cream, any way you lix it!" "Hold your tongue, Angy," said her mother; "you're tho most onfeeliu' oreetur I ever see. You'd hev me harness up tho team and drive away to town aud pay out a mint of money, when I kin jest us well hev it for nothin'. Hain't we got a prime new freezer, and orearu aud eggs and ice, without its costin' a oeut ? What more do you want ?" " A prime now freezer!" scornfully echoed Augy. "You'll want half a dozen of 'em !" " Well, can't I borry 'cm?" said her prudent parent. "And who's going to hang over 'em I!" siil the young lady, whose stay at boardina Hnhanl l?ml t?,f Al D ~ux/v vMiiuciavcu iuo home dialect. " They need to be turned and turned, and everybody's worn out. It's nearly time to dress now, and you want a little cooliu' off yourself. You're as red as a beet." " I'll stay if I can be of any servioe," said a voice in tlie doorway. " Why, Sally," said Mrs. Crane, "you'll want to run home and dress, won't you ?" "Oh, I'd rather not," said the voice, this time trembli. g a little. " I don't feel tit for any fun, Mrs. Crane. It don't seem to mo I ever will again." " I s'pose not, deary," said the farmer's wife, with an expression of pity mingled with relief. " It'll be dreadful convenient to hev you stay, Sally, if you kin. Tnere's a power to do yet, and only one pair o* hands to do it. I s'pose you wouldn't keer to go up in the parlor; but the freezers'll be in the cellar, and the hoater keeps it nice and warm down there; and while you're a-makin' luu cream, you Kin listen to the music, and hoar the noise and all. It'll come kind o* nice to yon that way, won't it, Sally?" " Good life, mar!" laughed the vivaoious daughter; " is that what you call nice ? It roiniuds m) ol the little hungry boy who went to smell the steam at the pastry cook's I" "You don't know nothiu' about the way Sally feels," said Mrs. Orane, "nor I don't think you could if you tried. I believe you'd dance and wliis'le about before the grass took root over your pappy's grave; but Sally loved hern, pour child, and she can't help thinkin' of the poor schoolmaster lyin' out there in the snow, when here he was, only a bit ago, as click and smart as anybody. It's no kuowin' whose turn it'll be next." Whether the good woman had any reason of her own for thus dwelling upon a melancholy subject, it decided poor little Sallv's aversion for Mir. ? taking, and put t > flight tbo gay Angeltoa, who was in uo humor for red eyes and noses, whoa tbo young squire would s ortly come, aud it behooved these features to be at their best. But Sally fell to sobbing outright, not giving a thought to the deleterious effect of tears upon her beauty, although once upon a time it was bright aud bonny enough to ensnare the young squire himself. Long ago, when he drew her to school on his haudsomo sled, he made many a stumble over the ice in looking back upon tlio sweet face under its scarlet hood, tho little choeks all aglow, and the yellow curls wantoning about with tho brisk wintry air. Sally's was always the biggest apple from the finest tree in the orchard; tho most luscious grapes from tho grapery found their way to Sally's desk; and iu the intervals of his possessing a penknife young Master It anthill loft no blunt pencil in Sally's saohel. When it became necessary that he should be sent to a plaoo of instruction oeuiting his station in life, and the tint had gone forth that the dear old days at the village sohool should become part and parcel of tho past; when he must bid good-bye to his romps in the nowmown hay, his races with tho yon rig colts in the teu-aore Held, his berrying and picnicking, his coasting down the glorious old hill; when he must part with his dog Lanoer and his gun and his pony?above all, with 8<dly?it was a heartrending time. Whatever grown up folks may think of these childish griefs, they are as tough to bear as the heavier ones that come later, and they leave great ugly scare that are sometimes only / half healod over. When Will Randall cut Sally's name nnd his own deep into the bark of the ' old walnut tree at the foot or the lano, ii it seemed to him that the knifo went 1: into his heart with every turn of the let- t tera in her precious name. Tears rolled out of his eyes in spite of his manly en- v daavor to choke them down; as for Sally, she had given way long ago, and, with j, her snnbonnet tight down over ber face, 8 was watering the gray old moss at the 8 foot of tho tree with floods of childish n woo. v At last it was done; there were the j initials linked togother deep in tho t rugged bark; tho crimson light from j tho western sky shono full upon each v and all. Will put his kuife back in his ? pocket with a click of determination, B gulped back his tears at once and for the last time, and taking Sally from the < ground, he smoothed back her yellow c locks, coaxing her into quiet with tho i, solemn promiso of his loyalty henceforth y and forever to the love between them, j Ho declared that the names linked there upon the tree should never be separated v while life remained to him, and with ^ many a vow of fealty coined from tho { books he had devoured among the lum- ? ber in the garret, and simple plaiuts of a love urougm up irom tlie depths of his p littlo swelling heart, Will bade little ^ Sally good-tyo. But alas for the inexorable decrees of ^ fate and fashion ! Seven long years had ^ I passed and gone since that last trysting j( time, and although the two names were still linked together upon the old walnut r tree, the two little lovers had drifted far apart. Young Master Randall went from one j, place of instruction to another till he reached the summum bonnm of a veri- a table college. Taking advantage of the j, absence of their son and heir, the big ^ folks at the hall went abroad; the house s was closed, and although many an apple and bunch of grapes from the old place reacnod Sally, with the rest of the villagers, she never cared to taste these (| lux jios from stranger hands. Will ^ spent his holidays away, nd Sally would y not oven have heard the sound o-! his v name had it not been for tho sojourn of ^ Augelica Crane at a boarding school ^ near the college. Perhaps Sally would f( rather not have heard his name than ^ thus from the lips of Augelica, who e j, bump of reverence was small, and who ^ htld he young squire pretty much as ^ she held everybody?important in tho ratio that they contributed to her own a pleasure. 0 The acr. sof Farmer Crane were broad g and wide, and outnumbered by many a s score those that belonged to the Randall b fumily; it was whispered that even the o goodliest property of the old squire was tl heavily mortgaged to the shrewd and s forehanded countryman, and that a v match between Miss Angelica aud the ti young squire would not be a bad thing t< for the latter. On the other hand, these n plain folks at the Orane homestead had b spared no pains to show their willing- fl ness to further whatever plaus wore 8 made for the joining of these two good- a ly estates. R Angelica herself liad confided to Sally j that she had more strings to her bow j] than one, but that she knew which she H preferred, and had often tortured the H poor little maiden, when during Angeli- b ca's holidays they had spent a night or f] two together, by reading her, among f, other love letters, some productions 1 from the eloquent aud ardent pen of 0 Will ItaudaU, poor little Sally's peril- t dious lover. Long after Angelica's curl f papers had ceased to rattle upon the 1 pillow, the soft silken rings of Sally's yellow hair were wet with tears of envv o and girlish despair. * i But as years went by, and old time ? softened the bitterness of those holiday stab3 by dealing others of a more vivid and startling character, when cores and griefs close at hand crowded about her and hemmed her in, she became resigned to this one among the rest, and even talked with Angelica of her loves and lovers with a coolness that astonished herself. There became a less und less grievous similarity in the description of the young squire to that shy, sweet memory of Sally's of long ago. Ho had now. it uppeared, an incipient mustache, his hands were white, he was more and more " perfectly splendid " with every fresh confidence; and this brilliant figure left the old simple, tender likeness all to itself in Sally's young heart, and it bocame dead and buried like all the gldd things of life, along with her father, the schoolmaster, and the pale young moth er she could just remember; and as she turned the ice cream freezers that night in the cellar of Farmer Crane, not one ] thought of jealouH spite or envy of the t fair Angelica came into her little head. \ She did listen to the music, and ^ heard the noise ubove, and it was " a i sort of nice," as Mrs. Crane had said; ^ and as she turned and turned one freezer a after another, Sally became interested t enough in her work to forget more im- c portant trials closo at hand. I it made the soul of the farmer's wife ^ glad within her, when she went down to t taste the oro&m, to flud it beginning to be all that her fanoy painted. t "It's prime," she said, smacking her i lips and holding the spoon to Sally's \ prety month. " Jest taste it. and tell i ? me if that ain't fur ahead of Towzer's e stuff in town. It stauds to reason, Sally ; there's real oream in that ar? ? none o' yer nasty skimmin's! Now keep \ right on, dear; be jest as koerful as you kin, 'cause now's the resky time when i tho hull thing kin bo sp'iled by a mite t o* keerlessnees. Jest turn and turn, c dear, first one, then t'other, this a-way, t and that a way. The idee of that peaky a da'tor o' mine tellin' me only a minit ago c she knowed it'd be lumpy and soft! Lnd, Sally, bIio's the moBfc tmfeelin' "? hi " It's only lior fun," said Sally. 01 "Fun!" echoed the vexed matron, ti ' Wa'al, it's a mean kind of fun, and z* t'd sarvo her right if she came out the ittle end o' the horn yet. But we'll ; ake keer o' tbo cream, won't we, Sally?" j "That we will, ma'am," said Sally, ; cj rarmly. "Jest turn and turn, you know," said he poor woman, and went up the cellar sr tops, not knowing that destiny had fa ome work of her own to do that night, ml had ruthlessly chosen the farmer's bi rife for the agent of her own discomfl- cl ure. At the top of the steps she met he young squire. He said that, like d< he young woman in the ballad, ho was oi reary of dancing, and proposed to have ho old game of Copenhagen?and could ai ho toll him where he eould get a rope ? ol "Why, yes," said Mrs. Crane, * there's one right down here in the rt ellar. I'll git it, Will?that's right ; w lev all the fun you kin ; you can't be oung but once and down she went ai i)to the collar again. fa Now if she had only contented herself rith getting the rope and handing it to ei he young squire, who stood waiting at bi he top of the steps, all would have been roll. Ho had scarcely left Angelica's ol ide the whole evening ; he had whis- is ierod lots of pretty things in her ears ; ie determined to tap no hand but hers tr a the ring. If Mrs. Crane had only st landed him the rope without a word I iut she couldn't help it, poor woman ; tl t was the fault of destiny, as I said bo ei ore. Something compelled her to stand ight at the foot of the stair's and wliis- j tc ier : ! bi " Keep right on, Sally dear?t rn and urn, like a good little lass." j di And she might better have spoken w loud. Her whisper wasof that steutor- I in desoTinf.inn flint it mil Sin ??? it I I w""v *v ? *w j . all swoop upon the car of the young j {* quire, and presently he heard a sweet 1 ) v voice in reply : " Yes, ma'am, I'll attend to it nicely." i w Ho went back with the rope, in a ' ai azo. What was to bo turned and j di lined, and who was the turner ? What illy was it that owned that sweet low 1>1 oice ? and what sweet low voico owned Iwt dear name of Sally ? Will Randall ad been famous at school and college ir solving problems; he never would, m 1 fact, leave one unsolved ; and present rc j he slipped away from the rope, out of ^ he room, and made his way direct to he cellar door. He opened it softly, ttl losed it carefully behind him, and went lowly down the steps. The bull'seye C) f the furnace glared at him as if tho ' enius of fire within was bent upon some j pree of his own one of these days; he card a squeak, squeak, squeak, a little I 8* ff in the dim distance, an 1 followed lie mysterious noise, confident it had j omething to do with that problem he | ras bent npou solving. He walked on i 81 iptoe, passing many a eeal bin heaped o the top with ooai; his locks brushed I lany a ham und tongue and juicy bit of j 91 aeon; he saw many a hanging shelf ! llrtfl wif.li P.hflofmoa olioo?? it A* ! ..?wv? If xyui 4UUU1UO VUOUi, lb nui Lllf LU I often the heart of this young scion of noble bnt impoverished house. The ; queaking noise became more and move ' o istinct. Ho turned the corner of a j ?? iresorve closet, and suddenly he stood ti till, because ho couldn't go on; his feet ki topped; his pulse almost ceased to heat; T ie saw something that sent the blood i lying to his heart?that perfidiously i m ulse yet faithful heart. He saw the slim gi ittlo figuro of a woman perched upon an : n id broken hen-coop, her black dress : t<. ucked up out of the water that escaped | is rom half a dozen freezers around her; ! tc ler little right hand turniug one freezer, j 01 icr little left hand turning another; her m oft silky yellow hair all fluffed ahout b ter pretty head?that yellow hair that is yould match exactly with the exquisite j oj olor cf the ono holding the place of j rt lonor among all his locks of hair; her I cl iweet lips parted with anxiety for tho I si ate of tho cream, as they had. parted 1 tr ong ago with a far deeper and warmer j ft mxiety?those sweet, sweet lips ! Could b t be? Oh, was it his own littly Sally? : I lis one, only Sally, the pure idol of his j oi joyish love ? Oh, what divine, rapturous jroblom was this given him to solve ? | R That pumping apparatus about his j leart began to work again with a will, i E He crept around the preserve chest, be- ' ,woen the freezers, and putting one haud j S lpon Sally's lips, with the other drew ler close upon his heart. ai " Hush, darling," ho whispered; " it ; hi s I?Will?your own faithful Will. }h, Sally ! Sally !" J G Her little falling head ho caught in ime, and kissed her fainting lips to life. 0 Ie said more in a minute to Sally than j 10 had whispered all the night above. E Ie decided her fate and his own in the winkling of an eye, and nnblnshingly >elieved ho was but fulfilling all the | 1J rows of long ago under tho walnut tree. Vs for Sally?shy, trembling Sally?she vas in a rapture of bewilderment, of joy ind bliss, that is seldom reaohed by mor te nls, until suddenly the cellar door ipened; then, indeed, tho crimson in Jally's cheeks paled, the stentorian ' P rliisper of Mrs. Crano was heard upon ! he steps: " It must be jest right now. It's bin j tf urnin', you know, long enough now; I ai t bin set by, and Sally might jest as veil as not hev a little fun. I lay n< mything it's jest the primest stuff you ;ver see." S "The cream is spoiled," whispered ' ially, her big, loving, tearful, happy eyes M ipon Will's. " Not a bit of it," said her com pan- Ir on. And although that cream was oer- pi aiiilv lumpy and a little soft, Wdl He- W ilnred it the best he ever tasted, 01 would ! is aste for the remainder of his life; aud : 01 is the cream was made for him, what > B lid it matter? ; oi Angelica, having plenty of strings to j ta er bow, didn't mouru over it grievisly; but poor Mrs. Crane from that mo forward bought her cream at Towjr'e. What is Worn. Striped cambrio for the skirt with ; locked for the polonaise, make very ef- 1 ictive suits. Tics mado of silk thread in large, j juare meshes, with fringed ends, are i shionable. Gray and blue aud light and dark rown are the favorite combinations for lildren's suits. The fashionable skirt trimming is not aeper than ten inches above the bottom [ the dress. The apron overskirt, with long bows id ends in the back, is still seen at somo f tho openings. Hamburg and hand embroidered lffles are both used for trimming ladies' hite underskirts. Bashes made of alternate rows of lace i id ribbon, with deep lace ends, bid ir to be popular. White pique and Hamburg embroid- | y are used in making kilt-plaited suits j atli for girls and boys. A nn>ft? - j- I J-.v-nj iui u uuuu id uiaati i : Valenciennes lace and insertion, and . to bo worn over a silk dress. Cream colored evening dresses are immed with grasses, gray and gone to >ed, mingled with red roses. Purisian dressmakers are discarding le cuirass; their latest snits are made ther with basques or polonaises. White batiste handkerchiefs, with ties > match, have scolloped edges, em- j roidered in navy blue or cardinal red. I Parisian modistes are making all I resses intended for midsummer wear 1 ith the corsage cut to show chemi- j ;ttes. Dresses made in Paris, to be worn in merica, are elaborately trimmed, but if itt uded for European wear they are not. Waterproofs, with sleeves, are made ith a slit at the waist under the left -m, thus enabling one to hold up the ress. The now French kilts for boys have a rge pocket stitched on directly in out, just below the belt, on the deep ax plait. The now thistle heading for fringe is ! ade of crimped silk thread, tied into mud bunches, fastened on a narrow silk pe. Home of the new ruohiugs for necks id sleeves are made of an outer row of ishmere lace, and an inuer one of j epe-lisse. Sleeveless batiste lace polonaises, j ther entiroly of lace, or lace and silk, , uttoned up the back, are worn over i lk skirts and waists. A new trimming for linen suits is a ' eading of linen lace about half an inch I 3ep, rounded on the edge, and brown j lk fringe attached. Dolmuns or sacks made of strong i lack silk net, with applique work of ! islimere or silk, edged with a heavy j inge, are among the latest styles. The Best Vegetables to Plant. tbcribner'a Monthly is printing a series , I timely and practical papers in its Home and Society " department, en- j tied " Rural Topics," by the wellnown horticulturist, P. T. Quinn. he following is from the May nuinoer: April and May are the two busy Louths in a well-managed vegetable arden. Daring these mouths, the iost important work of the season has ) be hurried through, for planting time i short, and there are many small matsrs that need prompt attention. First f all is the selection of choice garden jeds of recent growth, and such as will 0 found true to name. The surest way 1 to select from each year's crop a few f the same to raise need from i at, send to no mo responsible soed mer- I iaut, and don't depend on the kind of j ;ook found in sma" boxes in the coun- ' y grocery Htores. Ah a matter of re rence for those not familiar with the 1 est port of vegetable seeds and plants, j append the following list, naming two ! r threo kinds of each to select from. Dwarf Beans.?Early Valentine and i efugee. Pole Beans.?Large White Lima and j [oiticultural Cranberry. Beets?Dark Bed Egyptian and Long i mooth Blood. Cabbage.?Jersey Wakefield (early), i id Piemium Flat Dntch and Drum- ! pad Savoy (late). Cucumber.?White Spine and Long reen. Carrot. ? Bliss* Improved Long i range. Corn.?Moore's Early and Stowell's | vergroen. Cauliflower.?Early and Lato Erfurt. > Celery.?Dwarf Incomparable and ostou Market. Egg Plant.?Improved Now York. Lettuce.?Curled Silesia and Butter. ! Musk Melon.?Skillmau's Fine Net, I id. Water Melon.?Mountain Sweet. Onions. --Wethersfield Bed and White j ortngal. Parsnips.?Long Smooth. Peas.?Philadelphia ExtraEarly, Card's First Crop, Champion of Eugland, ,,1 yitu:a~ ? * in ii uii/u luurruwiuii. Peppers.?Large Squash and Bull- 1 m Radishes.?Turnip Scarlet, Long earlot. and Whito Spanish. Squash.?Summer Orookueck, Boston [arrow, and Hubbard. Tii this brief list will he found the ading kiuus grown by market nnd rivate gardeners near large cities. Tith bush beans, peas, mid rndishe^, it beat to repeat the sowings every two three weeks, until the middle of June, i y following thin plan, a fresh supply : those sorts will keep eomiDg on for j ble use until late in the season. 1 A Puzzled Hoarder. It was late in the fall whon nr good Mrs. Middlecrust went down to the market and selected a tub of butter. She always bought good butter. In fact, ahe was determined that none of her boarders should ever have just cause of oomplaint against tho quality of her provisions. " Madam," said tho market man, " I would advise you to secure two tubs of that butter. I shall have none better, and butter will be sure to rise in price through the winter." Mrs. Middlecrust bought two tubs, and on her way home she bethought herself how she could contrive to make that butter last through to spring. Ah t a happy thought; she would toast the biead for supper, and butter it herself. Buttered toast was the thing. Accordingly the good woman set out upon her plan of saving. For tea the loaves were nicely and evenly slioed, gently browned before the fire, and very genciy ana careiuuy battered. As her boarders took their seats, she fancied that one or two of them were looking for tho butter, so she smilingly said: " I havo buttered the bread myself, gentlemen. As it was toasted, I thought it would be nicer so." Mr. Nipkins, a bald-headed bank clerk, wearing spectacles, took a slioe of the toasted bread, and examined it long and critically. "Mr. Nipkins, is anything the mattor with your bread ?" asked the Landlady. " No, no?nothing is the matter with tho bread." And he turned it over and submitted it to further examination. "Mr. Nipkins," persisted the good woman, growing red in the face, "if nothing is the matter, wiry do you behave in that manner ? I liko my boardex-s to bo frank with me." " My dear Mrs. Middlecrust," replied Mr. Nipkins, looking up serenely, " I will be frank. When I was a boy, if we wished to express a state of extreme mental obtuseness, we were wont to say of the obtuse one, that ' he didn't know which side his bread was buttered on.' I think I must be losing some of my perceptive faculties. I find no fault* with your provisions, dear madam; the fault must be in me. I have lived and eaten two-and-flfty years, and for the first time in my life I find myself unable to decide on which side my "oread is buttered." Mrs. Middlecrust left her boarders to butter their own bread after that. j Premature Last Words. A writer to the Louisville CourierJournal tells the following amusing story : A single shot, followed by a loud shriek, told ns that one of my best men, Bradley, was hurt. He proclaimed his agony with a loud voice, turned over on bis back and commenced kicking so vigoronsly that the surgeon had difficulty in getting near him. " Poor fellow!" said the doctor, " shot in tho bladder. I am afraid it is fatal." " Oh, my God !" said Bradley, " am I a dead man ?" " Keep up your spirits, my boy. Nover say die,'* said Capttin Johnson, kneeling kindly over him. " Doctor." asked the wnnrilod dier, feebly, " will you write to my mother that I died bravely, doing my duty, with my face to the foe and that I thought of her when I was dying ?" " Yea," said the doctor, with dim eyes and a husky voice, "I will write to her and tell her, too "? But suddenly springing to his feet, with m indignant voice he said : " Why, confound it, man, you're not hurt a bit. It is only your canteen that is shot. Get up, will you ?" Bradley raised up slowly, felt himself all over, aud with an exceedingly foolish countenance crawled back to his position, amid j,the uproarious laughter of the wholo regiment. For months after that, on the maroh, in the camp, and sometimesin the night, you might hear a voice in one direction demanding : ' What Khali I tell your mother?" aud perhaps half a dozen responses would be heard, " Tell her I died with ruy face to the foe," and then Bradley would come out and search for tho man who said it. He seldom found him, but when he did there was certaiu to be a fight. The Copper Product of 1875. ' Copper mining in Lake Suporior has proved to bo a profitable business. The Northwestern Mining Journal publi.shea a list of assessments and dividends from which it appears that $9,870,000 have been assessed, $18,070,000 have been divided, and there is in the treasuries of nine mines $4,668,000. The total profit, therefore, since 1844 has been $12,868,000, if these figures are complete. Mining in that region is however in n peculiar condition, for one mine, the Calumet and Heola, produced 86.6 per oeut. of the copper mined in the district in 1875. Tho total yield was 12,500 tons, and the principal mines contributed as follows : Calumet and Hecla, 86.6 per cent.; Osceola, 4.8 per cent.; Allou t-z, o.o per cone.; i* ran Klin, 29 per cent.; Pewabio, 1 3 per cent.and Atlantic a little less than one per cent. The importance of the Calnmet and Heel* mino may be aeon from the following flgnresof the English copper prodnetion in 1874. Great Britain in that year smelted from home ores 5,240 tons, and from foreign ores 20,956 tons of copper. '(he Calnmet and Heda therefore proil need twioe as mnch as all the mines in Great Britain together. A pocketbook too weak to stand a loan most be in reduced oirenmrtanoes. Items of Interest. A combination lock?The marriage ceremony. Laziness travels so slow that poverty soon overtakes him. Times are called hard when lazy men are obliged to work for a living. Mr. James Qorden Bennett's wedding is said to have been postponed one year. The best oentennial notes a reporter can pick up are hundred dollar bills. A person can walk eighty-four miles in the Oentennial buildings if he feels likes it. The ability to make money is a talent; the ability to keep it is two ; the ability to nse it wisely and well is ton. An effort to save three oents will oost a Hancock (Pa.) oounty man something over a hundred dollars. He merely used the same postage stamp twioe. The editor of the Boston Poat heard a very clever woman say : "I do not wish anybody to do anything naughty, bnt if they do, I want to know all about it." The Liondon correspondent of a Liverpool paper understands that the reason why the queen did not read her own speech at the opening of Parliament was that she is unable to read without glasses, and it was thought that the sight of the sovereign in spectacles would look a little unmajestic. The times are so dull that the policemen are in desperation. In Richmond one of the guards of the dty saw a map. standing on the oorner, and went for him. " I ain't done nothing," said the man. " Neither have I,"* said the policeman, "and I'll be turned out if I don't do something." A traveler was lately boasting of the luxury of arriving at night, after a hard day's journey, to partake of the enjoyment of a well cut ham and the left leg of a goose. " Pray, sir, what is the peculiar luxury of a left legt" Sir, to oonoeive its luxury, you must find that it is the only leg tnat is left." ^ A St. Joseph man, one year married, says that there is a great deal in the expression of a back oomb to denote the state of the domestio atmosphere. When his wife's oomb nestles quietly in its proper plaoe, all is well with him ; but when it is lifted and leans forward he says : " Look out for squalls." A flat of seven or eight rooms on the second floor, in a good looation in New York city, cannot be had for lees than from $1,500 to $2,000, while those on the upper floors are held at proportionRlflrh fimmoa T3I?* fordf" facilities for a genteel "oome down" for families who have been paying from $4,000 to $8,000 rent in fashionable localities. A gentleman who, three months ago, borrowed $x0 from a capitalist, to whom he gave as security a first mortgage un his watch, went one Saturday to pay it ^ off, and was surprised rather than satisfisd to learn that his bill was $29.16. When he remonstrated with the capitalist the latter replied: "Well,'the interest looks high, bnt there are so many losses' in this business." Of the fifteen actually elected Presidents of the United States, seveft had, before their elevation, been in the Senate, and of the three who became Presidents throngh the death of the actual officer, two had been Senators. Those who had not been in the Senate were Washington, the first Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Polk, Taylor, Linooln, Grant, and Vice-President Fillmore. The Minister's Wife. . The minister's wife, says the BaptUt Magazine, ought to bo selected by a committee of the church. She be warranted never to havo headache or neuralgia; she should have nerves'of wire aud sinews of iron; she should never be tired nor sleepy, and should be everybody's cheerful drudge; she should be cheerful, intellectual, pious, and domesticated ; she should be able to keep her husband's house, darn His stockings, make his shirts, oook his dinner, light his fire, and oopv his sermons; she should keep ud the style of a lady an the wages of a day laborer, and always be at leisure for "good works," and ready to reoeive morning calls : she should be secretary to the Band of Hope, the Dorcas Society, and the Home Mission ; she should oondaet Bible classes | and mothers' meeting; should make | clothing for the poor and gruel for the sick; and finally, she should be pleased with everybody and everything, and never desire any reward beyond the satisfaction of having done her own duty and other people's too. Centennial Notes. Machinery hall is 1,402 feet long and 360 feet wide. Cost, $792,000. . The United States building oovota two acres of ground, and ooat $62,000. Memorial hall is 866 feet long and 210 feet wide. Oost, $1,600,000. Horticultural hall is 388 feet long and 193 feet wide. Cost, $261,987. Agricultural hall is 826 feet long and 540 feet wide. Coat, 9900,000. The main bnilding is 1,880 feet long and 464 feet wide. Goat, $1,600,000. The annex to Memorial hall, covering as mnoh gronnd as the whole of the original structure, has been completed, and transferred to the board of nnanoe by the contractors. There are thirteen places of entrauoe to the exhibition grounds, representing the old thirteen States. At each will be a nnmber of gates, set apart for exhibitors, pressmen, high political officials, women and children, respectively.