Port Royal standard and commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, December 07, 1876, Image 1

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! PORT PtOlT-A.1-. 1 Standard and Commercial. 4 VOL. Y. NO. 1. BEAUFORT, S. C., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1876. $2.00 per Ann. ' SinglB Copy 5 Cents. The Battle of Bltahelm. It wu a tmnmer evening, Old Km per'a work vu done; And he before hie oottage door Wu sitting in the son, And by him sported on the green Hie little grandchild, Wilhelmlne. She saw her brother Peterkin Boll something large and round, That he beside the rivnlet, In playing there had found; He came to ask what he had found, That was so large, and smooth, and round. Old Kasper took it from the boy, Who stood expectant by ; And then the old man shook his head, And with a natural sigh, " Tie some poor fellow's skull,' said he, " Who fell in the great victory. " I find them in the garden, for Tt, 'j manv h rA ahftnt f AUV4V ? w""?7 ? " " And oftcu when I go to plow, The plowshare turns them out; For man; thousand men,1' said he, "Were slain in the great victory." " Now tell us what 'twas all about," Tonng Peterkin he cries, And little Wilbelmine locks up With wonder wa.t.':.g ejes ; "N w tell us all about the war, And wwat they killed each other for." " It was the English," Ka^-per cried, ' That put the French to rout; But what they killed each other for I could not.well make out Bat everybody said," quoth he, That 'twas a famous viotory. " My father lived at Blenheim then, Yon little st> earn hard by ; They burnt bis dwelling to the ground. And he wa<* foiC~d to fly ; 80 with bis wife aud ohild he fled, Nor had he where to lay his head. ' With Are and sword the country round Was wasted far and wide, And many a childing mother then, 4nd new born infant died. But t jings like that, you know, must be At every famous victory. 41 G/eat praise the Duke of Marlbro' Iron, * And onr good Prince Eugene." " Why, 'twas a very wicked thing," Said little Wilhelmiue. " Nay? Day, my little girl," quoth he, 44 It'was a famous victory. 41 Ai d everyb. dr praised the fluke, Who such a fight did win." 4- Bu: wl at good came of it at last ?" Quoth little Petetkin. 41 Why, that I cannot tell," said he, "fiBl ,sw?3 t >UQ;U tikwi;. ACCIDENTS OF A LIFE. THE WONDERFUL ADVENTURES OF A NEW YORK MERCHANT. About eleven o'clock on a mild Decmber night, in the year 1808, Mr. Nicholas Young, a respectable merchant of New York city, turned the key in his stor*> door and directed his steps homeward. He had been busily engaged in taking account of stock, and was, therefore, unusually late. A model of regularity in all his habits, he was never known to be out of hi9 house after ten in the evening, except on srch periodical occasions as the present. He was a plain man of forty-five, who had never married, andfthabited an unpretending but oomfortable abode in what was then the semi-rural district about Bleecker street. His family consisted solely of his old housekeeper and a colored man. He had not walked far on the night in question, when he was startled by a cry as of a female in distress, seemingly proceeding from a close carriage, which was driving past at a moderate rate of speed. The vehicle had not gone twenty yards further before the cry was again raised, clear and shrill, and he distinctly saw a white handkerchief waving from the window. Constitutionally fearless, and endowed with no small share of native chivalry, Mr. YouDg lost ro time in hastening to the rescue of the presumed captive. Accident seemed to favor him, for just then the driver dropped his whip, and, before he could recover it and regain his seat, the merchant was at the carriage door, which he attempted to open. He was resisted by a strong grasp from within, while a man thrust his head from the window and angrily demanded what was meant by suoh unwarrantable intrusion. Mr. Young as peremptorily inquired whether a female was being carried off against her will, and stated his intention of searching into the matter. He was answered at onoe by a blow on the head from a slungshot, or similar instrument, which felled him to the ground insensible. On recovering, he found himself lying, gagged and bound, at the bottom of the coach, which was being driven furiously. Defenseless as a sheep borne to the shambles, he oould only await his fate with such resignation as he oould muster. Hours seemed to pass before the vehiole came to a stop, when the door was opened and he was lifted out in perfect silence by two stout men. He now saw, by the glimmering starlight, that they were standing on the further end of a long wharf?a pier?the other extremity of which was hidden in darkness. Rocking on the waves, almost under theii feet, lay a small rowboat. Into this, still without a word being spoken, he was transferred by the same hands, and it was then made fast to the stern of e Bailing vessel, which lay close by with all her canvas set. His two cap ton climbed aboard the latter craft, whose anchor was immediately weighed, anc she stood out to sea, towing Mr. Young, alone and helpless, behind her. Before morning the boat was oast off the sailing vessel quickly disappearec from his view, and the unfortunate mer chant found himself drifting, withou oars or provisions, at the mercy of th< wave* When day broke, he had sue in freeing one of his hand*, an< shortly afterward released himself froii all hia fastenings. He now disooyerei that his pockets had been rifled, and his watch and wallet taken, together with the keys of his office door and safe. On the morning following Mr. Young's abduotion, Mrs. Comfit, his housekeeper, awaited in vain his ap- 86 pearance at the breakfast table. Never D! before, during the fifteen years she had . lived with him, had he been ten minutes behind time. Of course, he must be . indisposod. With some trepidation she in she went up stairs and knocked at his chamber door. The summons, again P1 and again repeated, awakened no re- 10 sponse. He might have gone out for a ^ walk, though such bad never been his habit. An hour passed, and she grew m seriously alarmed. Finally, when a cc business acquaintance of Mr. Yoang's P{ called to inquire why his store remained olosed, Mrs. Comfit procured assistance, at and her master's door was broken open. P' A careful search of the apartment only ftr resulted in showing that it had apparently not been occupied during the pre oeding night. ~ Days and weeks rolled on, and nothing was teen or heard of the missing * merchant. Advertisements appeared in ^ the leading journals, offering liberal re- J" ward8 for information concerning him ; *? but none was forthcoming. The case created considerable excitement as well I51 in the community at large, as among J* Mr. Young's immediate connections, ^ but all attempts to unravel tne mystery proved unavailing ; and when, one w morning, his office safe was found open, 61 and robbed of all its valuable oontents, cc the conclusion was generally arrived at j3' that he had been foully dealt with, and 1(? that liis reappearance was not to be looked for. A distant relative of the ai lost man came forward, instituted the b< neoeesary proceedings, and took quiet ar possession of the property which Mr. Young had toiled through so many years ~ to amass. tr To return, now, to our ill-fated hero a himself. P1 After drifting in his boat for two J" mys, the weather being fortunately *? aim iind moderate, he was pioked up by m i homeward bound Italian brig. As m VIr. Young spoke only his native lan- 71 fuage, of which none of his rescuers unlerstood a siugle word, he could oom- ?] nuuicate very little respecting himself, a ind was barely able to make out the lame of the port to which they were sailing. Just before entering the fo \tediterraney, they were ohased and cc aptured by a pirate, to whom they ai x>uld offer no resistance. Their vessel was scuttled, and themselves were car- f? ried as slaves to the coast of Morooco. ,n By the Italians Young had been treated Vi kindly; at the han?s of the half-savage *e captors, he met with nothing but hard- 01 ship, being forced to toil almost inces- I1 santly beneath a burning sun. I sc After three years of this suffering, he j ? effected his escape by the aid a fellow slave,, an Englishman, with whom he J was sometimes allowed to go fishing, and with whom, nndtr cover of night, < he flung himself overboard and swam to V} the opposite ooast of Spain, where they ; tr found themselves with no possessions but ^ the clothes on their backs. They man- < A1 aged to make their way to the nearest; g seaport town, whence they intended, if | \ possible, to procure a passage to the j United States. All went well; a ship ; ^ was uoon found, which in a few days g] was to weigh anchor for New York, and ' w on which their services were at once en-j fa gaged for the voyage. ^ Almost on the eve of their embarka- rc tion, a fearful murder was committed in the house where the fugitives werelodg- 0j ing. Circumstances points strongly ol toward them as the perpetrators, and , f they were arrested on suspicion. Poor, ; e, friendless, and ignorant of the language , m of their persecutors, they were unable ^ to make an adequate defense, and were i w summarily found guilty. Mr. Yonng's j g( unfortunate companion was executed, ; g, ind he himself sentenced to the galleys ! 2] for life. tc After he had undergone the lingering i horrors of this worst of punishment for ' a] Ave years, the real murderer was made ; ^ known by a deathbed oonfession, and ; 31 Mr. Young was set at liberty. His story , ^ had excited the active sympathy of sev- ; ^ eral humane individuals, and he found ' Ql no difficulty in procuring means of j r( transportation to Ins own country. In j 'U| a fev weeks he onoe more trod the j street? of .New lora, neaiiy eigm years ; sl from the time of his enforced departure; j s( but ha returned to find himself a beg-, ^ gar. His relative had thrown away his ,x property in wild speculations, and died, ! ^ the year before, hopelessly insolvent, j Cl Broken in health and spirits, and pre-1 ^ mata ely old, the onoe prosperous mer- J CT ohant, after his protracted misfortune, j ai men ed solely by yielding to a sudden ! tj. impr se of humanity, was driven to the j ^ | ooouj ation of selling small wares at a ! w stall outside Washington market, and yj migh have been regularly seen thus en- j, gaged for several years, until prostrated I ^ by a lingering sickness which brought, g, him to hisead, under circumstanoes of j C) lamentable privation. j ^ Who shall say that the ways of Provi- j ^ dence in this world are not inscrutable t i .' ?Illustrated Weekly. ! . !b A Polaek Wedding. A Milwaukee paper, describing a Po- i ! 1 - 1 QQTTQ* Ar>r? TuVlftf. I . ; 13CK WOUUUlg ui iiuav viiij) m?ju. .. , u ; do you think the bride was dressed int D i! A blue satin dress and green glass g , | breastpin ? Not exactly, but a blue p drea.% green sash, white tarletan veil, j p ' and was attended by bridesmaids in {\ , | green dresses, red sashes, and wreaths of j >t : white artificial flowers. They formed a | j] procession at the bride's residence. z .! First, the bride and attendants; then the j i, groom and his supporters ; then the ! t , i friends and the crowd which always ao-1 j L com panies such a pageant ; all this pre- j v i ceded by a baud of music, larger or j H t) smaller, as the means of the groom will | a I allow; with a running accompaniment of : s j pistol firing aBd noises of all kinds. j s f They then marched from the house to ' \ t the church, where the priest performed f j the oeremony, after which they adjourn- e i ed to some saloon, where they " danced e 1 all night, till broad daylight, and went ( . home with the girls in the morning." ] t And that is Polaok style. j - i The British admiralty have ordered 1 I the immediate construction of sixst~' l : i j corvettes to serve as cruisers in the Pa- j j II oifio and Chinese waters. ' I Fur Trimmings. Fur trimmings Trill be used more than er this winter, says Harper ? Bamar. hey are wider than formerly, and are en not only on wraps, but on polo tises and skirts of dresses, and also on lildren's clothes. There are many lit&tions and dyed furs in market sold low prices, but there is no economy buying them, as they crock and soon shabby. Furriers show among low iced furs for trimming children's clothg black and brown cony bands, well ade, but only two inches wide, for :ty cents a yard. Black marten trimings are mbre used than ever, and are immendtd as durable when well preired and thoroughly deodorized. The seoe is so long that the pelt an inch id a half wide gives a band that ap?ars nearly three inches broad; these e $1.75 to $3; bands three inches wide 1 the pelt are very handsome, and cost >. 50 a yard. The silvered black marten -withsilver hairs sewed in, not glued?is 1.50 a yard for bands an inch and a half ide on the pelt; double this width it is 1 50 a yard. Black hare trimmings ap)ar well, as they are silky looking and ng, but they are not serviceable, as the irori flooAA r?rrv?kq and the hairs fall out: rice from seventy-five cents to $2 a ird. Coon borders are very handsome, ith their brown shades and light tips; ley are what they profess to be, will ear well, and are considered good lough to trim black silk cloaks. They >8t from $2 to $3 a yard. Black jeanitte is an even, durable fur,* not of ng fleece, but much liked for trimming oth garments. Borders three inohes id a half wide are $4. Natural gray fox mds are not very good for wear, but e showy, and cost $3 for the best quali08; there are many imitations of this reRsy fur. Colored gray fox is this imming dyed black, and sold for $3.50 yard. Blue fox trimmings are very retty light fleece for $6. White fox mds?not the hare, but the veritable ix?are $2 a yard. Natural lynx trimings of reddish shade are now being uch used in Paris; they are about $5 a ird. For more expensive trimmings, the ret noted is the gray chinchilla, two and half inohes wide on the pelt, for $6; lese bands are split, and sold for $3 a ird. The lovely but delicate silver ix trimmings are from $8 to $15, ac>rding to width. The fisher tail bands e dark and durable, and cost from $16 - ??J. of <K>n or* rtrtw arilrl I K ytXJLSJL | UliVOU nil y?v ?uv mvt* w%* r $35 in Paris. The fisher is fast beg exterminated, and it is even now ?ry difflenlt to get the skins. Brown ia otter is beautiful for brown cloaks or )stumes, and costs from $10 to $25 a ird with or without silver hairs. Hud>n bay sable tail trimmings are $15 a ird, and are almost as handsome as nssian sable. The Decadence of Hallowe'en. The glory of this onoe popular festi\1 has departed, says the Times. It* iumphs and rough jollities, festivals id strange rites are matters of history, id live only in the immortal verse of urns and traditional lore. The timid maryllis of these more prosaic times oes not trust her matrimonial fate to ie doubtful chance of pioking out, lindfolded, the basin of dirty or clean ater, or of depending for a "weel tur'd " man on the likelihood of " pooig " at the stroke of midnight a straight >oted "kail runt." There are still apt up in the western and rural parts I southern Scotland and Ireland some f the rough old games peculiar to this istival, but all over the world, wherrer Scotchmen, Englishmen or Irishten are domiciled, the trail of civilizaon is over them all. Evening parties, ith a ring hid mysteriously away in )me elegant work of the pastry cook's anias, have taken the place of the reat " black pot" full of mashed pota>es and milk, around which the guests athered and supped M spoon and spoon ike," until they all became puffei out ke plethoric bailies. The rough reel id jig have been replaced by the seduove waltz or pleasant quadrille, and the ilarious " hoohs " and clatter of hob ailed boots, which in olden times made >of and rafters dir!, mingling in inarmonious numbers with the squeakig of a villainous eld fiddle have been loceeded by the rustling of silks, the >ft breathing of whispered love, or unleaning prattle, and the strains of the igh-toned Centennial prize pianoforte, tke the curious marriage and funeral istoms of old, strange mixture of pain and Christian, and peculiarly social istoms, the old Hallowe'en revelries e gone. Even in New York, among le Scotch inhabitants, they live in the lemory only as .traditions?pleasant aditions, it is true, but never to be reived or re-enacted on this earthly stage. 1 a few years, when the older generaon gives place to the new, when modern )cial customs shall have effectively rowded out of existence the antique leasmtries of older conditions of soieties, the " heirs of civilization " will mgh at the absurdities of "the old )lks "?and be laughed at in their turn ereafter. A Useful Suggestion. Most of the city and town halls dotted ver oar country are, from the outside, in Knnat rtf ond inciilo lnnlr QC UIUULI? IV Uutwi/ VI) uuu auujiuv tuvu mw aunt and grim as whitewash and gray aint can make them. It has been ointed out recently how much better t would be if these bare walls weie lorned with paintings on a grand scale, llustrative of the lives of famous citiens and the noteworthy incidents of :>oal history. The capture of a fort; h9 invention of a steam engine ; the Incovery of an unknown sea ; the lonely ruteli of the astronomer ; the writing of ome famous book ; these and kindred ,11 the poetry of art. The influence of uch paintings on the community would ubjects might well be represented with >e immense. Every attendance at a >ublic meeting would be a lesson in esthetics, and a silent stimulus to jvery citizen to distinguish himself by leeds of usefulness and heroism. Honey spent thus in deooration would lever show a return in pounds, shillings ind pence ; but it might yield a rioh Harvest of noble deeds ; and many a Tui t, sle?py littJo town can boast of mcidenU to which the highest ait will And it difficult to do justioe. Co-operation in Great Britain. As few people in this country have any idea of the number, value, usefulness and magnitude of the oo-operative associations in Great Britain, it will be interesting to state a few facts relative to them. And from these our industrious classes may learn what their fellow workmen abroad are doing to improve their condition. In no civilized country on tho globe do the middlemen, or the shopkeepers, merchants, and traders, make more out of the consum ers than in the United States, arom producer or manufacturer to the consumer is a long, circuitous, and expensive way. Generally many profits are added to the original cost before an article gets into the hand of the ultimate purchaser and consumer. Not infrequently the price becomes doubled. The laboring people of Great Britain found, as a writer on this subject says, that there was " little to earn and many to keep "?that in fact they were reduced to such a desperate struggle to keep body and soul together that a penny saved in buying the necessaries of life would be of great importance. Co-operation societies sprung from the urgent necessity of making a penny go At far as possible. Happily there was a sufficient number of intelligent workingmen to lead off and to direct others in this matter. The result has been that within a few yeajs these oo-operative associations have spread over many parts , of the country, and have suoceeded won-1 derfully. While the principle upon which the oo-operative societies wcrk is the same among all of them, the mode of operation is different in some oases. Some of the societies, for instance, as in London, sell articles to the members at wholesale cost, less the expenses of management, while those at hrfbd in the neighborhood of Glasgow* Scotland, sell at the ordinary market prioe, or a trifle less, and divide the profits in an equitable and a judicious manner, but few have always furnished goods of the first quality. A writer mentions the fact that at the Kinning park co-opeiative association the loaf factory sends out every morning five wagons with sixteen thousand loaves of good bread and full weight, and that tins bread is distributed among thirty-eight co-operative stores within a radius of fifteen miles of Glasgow. But this is only one of the co-operative works. There are others supplying all sorts of necessary things, and they are all affiliated and belong to the associated members. This, evidently, is one of the most important economical movements of the age, and is doing a vast deal of good to the working classes! An Indian Legend. The following story, selected from an Eastern teacher, may be applicable in all climes and by all people : There was once a beautiful damsel upon whom one of the good genii wished to bestow a blessing. Ho led her to the edge of a large field of corn, where ho said to her : " Daughter, in the field before us the ears of corn, in the hands of those who pluck them in faith, shall have talismanic virtues, and the virtue shall be in proportion to the size and beauty of the ear gathered. Thou shalt pass through the field once, and pluck one ear. It must be taken as thou goest forward, and thou shalt not stop in thy path, nor shalt thou retrace a single step in quest of thine object Select an ear full and fair, and according to its size and beauty shall be its value to thee as a talisman." The maiden thanked the good genius, and then set forward upon her quest. As she advanced she saw many ears of co*n, large, ripe and beautiful, such as calm judgment might have told her would possess virtues enough; but in her eagerness to grasp the very best she left these fair ears behind, hoping that she might find one still larger and fairer. At length, as the day was closing, she reached a part of the field where the stalks were shorter and thinner, and the ears very small and shriveled. She now regretted the grand ears she had left behind, and disdained to piok from the poor show around her, for here she found not an ear which bore perfect grain. She went on, bnt, alas ! only to fiud the stalks more and more feeble and blighted, until in the end, as the day was closing, and the night coming on, she fonnd herselfe at the end of the field without having plucked an ear of any kind. No need that the genius should rebuke her for her folly. She saw it clearly when too late, as how many, in all climes and in all ages, in the evening of life call sadly and regretfully to mind the thousand golden opportunities forever lost because they were not plucked in their season. The Game Laws of England. A remarkable "game case," involving a question of some importance, was tried in an English court recently. Two miners, named McDonald and Sinclair, were accused of trespassing, in pursuit of game, on lands the property of Mr. Forbes, of Callendar. From the evidence, it appeared that the miners were j walking along a public road, and had j two dogs with them, whioh entered an I adjoining field, and, after coursing it, I hunted a rabbit into a stone dike built I Kotmaon tViA rno/1 and the field. McDon I aid left the road, got upon the top ol j the dike, and watched the escape of the i rabbit, while Sinclair stood on the roadside close to the dike, from whioh he removed some of the stones, and then secured the animal. It was contended foi the prosecution that McDonald, having left the road and gone upon the top ol tho fence, had committed a trespass, anc a conviction was asked. As to whethei Sinclair had committed a trespass b] inserting his hand within the fence it was left to the court to say. On behal of the miners it was urged that thej were not guilty of entering or being upoi lands in pursuit of game as set forth ii the complaint, and that there must to actual personal entrance to the lands be fore a contravention of the statute wai committed. The court took thi9 view o the matter and acquitted the aocused j who ihus remained masters of thesitua j tion and of the rabbit, A CANDIDATE'S STORY. Mark Twain Telia how h* Ran for Office and the Reanlt. Now that the election is over we can reread with interest Mark Twain's i sketch of his first aspiration for office and the result. Mark says : A few months ago I was nominated for governor of the great State of New York, to ran against Stewart L. Woodford and John T. Hoffman, on an independent ticket. I somehow felt tbat I had one prominent advantage over these gentlemen, and that was, good character. It was easy to see by the newspapers, tha* if ever they had known what it was to bear a good name, that time had gone by. It was plain that in these latter years they had became familiar with aU manner of shameful crimes. Bat at the very moment that I was exalting my advantage and joying in it in secret, there was a muddy undercurrent of dis i 1?l << ? ?? ik. J?? v.a.. ooixiiuri " riiujg tun uocpo ui u*j u?j/piness?and that was the having to hear my name bandied abont in familiar connection with those of each people. I grew more and more disturbed. Finally I wrote my grandmother abont it. Her answer came quick and sharp. She said : "Ton have never done one single thing in all your life to be ashamed of? not one. Look at the newspapers?look at them and oomprehend what sort of characters Woodford and Hoffman are, and then see if you are willing to lower yourself to their level and enter a public canvass with them." It was mv very thought 1 I did not sleep a single moment that night. But after all, I could not recede. I was fully committed and must go on with the fight. As I was looking listlessly over the papers at breakfast, I came across this paragraph, and I may truly say I never was so confounded before : " Perjury.?Perhaps, now that Mr. Mark Twain is before the people as a candidate for governor, he will condescend to explain how he came to be convicted of perjury by thirty-four witnesses, in Wakawak, Cochin China, in 1863, the intent of which perjury was to rob a poor native widow and her helpless family of meager plantain patch, their only stay and support in their bereavement and their desolation. Mr. Twain owes it to himself, as well as to the great people whose suffrages he asks, to clear this matter up. Will he do it r I thought I should burst with amazement 1 Such a cruel, heartless charge? I never had seen Cochin China! I never had heard of Wakawak! I didn't know a plantain patch from a kangaroo ! I did not know what to do. I was crazed and helpless. I let the day slip away without doing anything at alL The next morning the same paper had this?nothing more. " SieNrpiOANT.?Mr. Twain, it will be observed, is suggestively silent about the Cochin China perjury." [Mem.?During the rest of the cam # 3 A p&ign tins paper never reierrea w mo 111 any other way than ?as " the infamous perjurer Twain."] Next came the Gazette with this: "Wanted to Know.?Will the new candidate for governor deign to explain to oertain of his fellow citizens (who are suffering to vote for him !) the little circumstance of his cabin mates in Montana losing small valuables from time to time, until at last, these things having been invariably found on Mr. Twain's person or in his "trunk" (newspapers he rolled his traps in), they felt compelled to give him a friendly admonition for his own good, and so tarred and feathered him and rode him on a rail, and then advised him to leave a permanent vacuum in the place he usually occupied in the camp. Will he do this ?" Could anything be more deliberately malicious than that ? For I never was in Montana in my life. [After this, this journal customarily spoke of me as " Twain, the Montana Thief."] The next newspaper article that attracted my attention was the following: " A Sweet Candidate.?Mark Twain, who was to make such a blighting speech at the mass meeting of the Independents, didn't come to time! A telegram from his physician stated that he had been knocked down by a runaway team "* * 1 1wIaato onffov. ana nis leg uru&eu imwu er lying in great agony, and so forth, and so forth, and a lot more bosh of the same sort. And the Independents tried hard to swallow the wretched subterfuge and pretend that they did not know what was the real reason of the absence of the abandoned creature whom they denominate their standard bearer. A certain man was seen to reel into Mr. Twain's hotel last night in a beastly state of intoxication. It is the imperative duty of the Independents to prove that this besotted brute was not Mark Twain himself. We have them at last! This is a case that admits of no shirking. The voice of the people demands in thunder tones: 'Who was that 1 man ?'" i It was incredible, absolutely incredii bio, for a moment, that it was really my name that was coupled with this disi graceful suspicion. Three long years had passed over my head since I had tasted ale, beer, wine, or liquor of any i I Vind. 1 [It shows what effect the times were i having on me when I say that I saw myself confidently dubbed "Mr. Delirium i Tremens Twain " in the next issue of that journal without a pang?notwith! standing I knew that with monotonous > fidelity the paper would go on calling me so to the very end. 1 By this time anonymous letters were 1 getting to be an important part of my r mail matter. This form was common : I "How about that old woman you f kiked of your premisers which was begl ing. Pol Pbt." r And this: r "There is things which you have t done which is unbeknowens to anybody I but me. Tou better trot out a few dols. r to yours truly or you'll hear thro' the 1 papers from Handy Andy." i This is about the idea. I could oon9 tinue them till the reader was surfeited, - if desirable. s Shortly the principal Republics! f journals "oonvicted" me of wholesali , bribery, snd the leading Democrat]< r paper " nailed " an aggravated case o blackmailing to me. ? _ [In this way I aoqnired two additional names : "Twain, the Filthy Corruptionist,"aud "Twain, the Loathsome Em f bracer."] By this time there had grown to such a clamor for an " answer " to all j the dreadful charges that were laid to 0 me, that the editors and leaders of my v party said it would be political ruin for me to remain silent any longer. As if [ to make their appeal the more impera- f tive, the following appeared in one of ? the papers the very next day : c "Behold the Mae I?The Independ- E ent candidate still maintains silence. j Because he dare not speak. Every ac- c cusation against him has been amply ] proved, and thev have been indorsed f and reindorsed by his own eloquent silence, till at this day he stands forever t convicted. Lcok upon your candidate, ? Independents I Look upon' the Infa- j mons Perjurer I the Montana Thief ! \ the Body Snatcher ! Contemplate your ^ Incarnate Delirium Tremens! your, j Filthy Corruptionist! your Loathsome] c Embracer I Gaze upon him?ponder ; him well?and then say if you can give j your honest votes to a creature who has r earned this dismal array of titles by his fl 155 ? ? ?~ ^ /\nsn Viva < maeoat) urimw, uua uwco uu? upu j month in denial of any one of them!" z There was no possible way of getting out of it, and so, in deep humiliation, I e set about preparing to " answer" a mass ? of baseless charges and mean and wicked j falsehoods. Bnt I never finished the t task, for the very next morning a paper s came ont with a new horror, a fresh ? malignity, and ?terioualy charged me t with burning a lunatic asylum with all c its inmates because it obstructed the e view from my house. Thft threw me ^ into a sort of panic. Then came the e charge of poisoning my uncle to get his property, with an imperative demand <; that the grave should be opened. This ] drove me to the verge of distraction, j On top of this I was accused of employ- t ing toothless and incompetent oM rela- { tives to prepare the food for the found- j ling hospital when I was warden. I was ( wavering?wavering. And at last, as a < due and fitting climax to the shameless j persecution that party rancor had in- , flioted upon me, nine little toddling ( children of all shades of ooloi and degree -f of raggedness were taught to rush on to the platform at a public meeting and j clasp me around the legs and call me "Pa!" , I gave up. I hauled down my oolors and surrendered. I was not equal to the requirements of a gubernatorial campaign in the State of New Tork, and so I sent in my withdrawal from the candidacy, and in bitterness of spirit signed it: " Truly yours, once a decent man, but now " Mask Twain, " L P.,M. T.i B. 8., D. T. P. 0., and L. E." ' He Had Been to the Centennial. A bashful appearing man stepped into the editorial room tho other evening, and edxring ud to the table of the man aging editor, hat in hand, said, in a hesitating way: " You like little items for your paper, I suppose ?" "Certainly," replied the editor; "a newspaper, like life, is made up of little items. What have you to offer ?" "Well," said the bashful man, playing with his hat band, "my name is Smith, John Smith, and I've just got tome." "Glad to see you back again, Mr. Smith; been gone long?" "I've been," said Mr. Smith, with a tremor of pride in his voice, " to the Centennial, and if you want to make a little notice "? " What I" cried the editor, springing to his feet, " you've been to the Centennial ? And you've got back ? Give us your hand; I'm delighted to see you. Spear, let me introduce you to John Smith. John has been to the Centennial." Spear shook hands very warmly with Mr. Smith, and then ran to the aperture communicating with the reporters' room below and shouted: "O'Shaunnessey, come in here, quick, here's a man that's been to the Centennial!" Then O'Shaunnessey bounoed in, followed by his assistants, all of whom embraced the bewildered Smith warmly, and expressed gratification it afforded them to meet a man who had been to the great national Exhibition. Word got down stairs, somehow, and several others came up stairs at a tearing rate to gaze upon the individual who had been to the Exposition. It was too much for the modest man to bear, and murmuring something about making an item of his return if they wanted to, he hurried out just in time to meet on the stairs the foreman and thirty-two compositors, all eager to get a glimpse of the man who had "been to the Centennial." Slaughter of 320,000 Bulgarians. The Cologne Gazette observes that Bulgaria has on several occasions figured in historv as the scene of " atrocities" no less horrible than those lately committed by the Bashi-Bazouks. The Greek Emperor Basilius IL was nicknamed " BuJgaroktonos " because he ordered 15,000 Bulgarian prisoners to have their eyes put out, a few only being left with one eye in order that they i might guide their fellow prisoners back to their homes. Even more atrocious was the massacre of the Gothic settlers iu Bulgaria. The much praised Emperor Claudius II. gives the following aocount of this massacre in a letter cited by the historian Trebellious Pollio: Cladins to Brocchua?We have destroyed i 320,000 Goths and sank 2,000 ships. The rivers are covered with shields, ; their banks with spears and pikes, and i" the fields with bones; no road is free . from blood; the huge barricade of wagons is deserted; and we have captured so many women that each of our /?/tnnnArincr soldiers can take two or three I wu^?v?-D r for his share. ) The building of the " City of Health" on the Courtlands estate, about a mile - and a half west of Worthing, in Eng, land, will be oommenoed in the spring of next year. In the " City t f Health" i an attempt will be made to carry out the 3 idea of Dr. Richardson, as expounded in > his description of " Hygeia, or the f Model City of Health,' at the Socml Soienoe Congress at Brighton last year. GROWTH OF THE EAKin. rmf. Ytaac'i Uct aa the 8?W?t?A? Iattrestlac Paper. " Since meteoric matter is continually ailing upon the earth, she (must of ourse be growing larger, and the daily lumber of meteors is no immense that t would be natural Uf suppose that the a crease might be quite appreciable in a ew centuries. It is not so, however ; he surface of the earth is so enormous, ompared with the quantity of meteoric natter, that, even on the most favorable typotheses, her diameter would grow inly about an inch in f ve hundred milion rears by accessions of this kind. A ew figures will make this clear. "As to the number of visible meteors, here is substantial agreement among mthorities. The estimate of Professor fewton is as large as that of any one, I >elieve, and he puts it at 7,500,000 per liem, which number we will use. As o their average weight there is more lifference of opinion. Probably, how>ver, the most careful and best founded nvestigation is that of Professor Hark; less, published in his report upon ob? ervation of the November meteors of .866; and his conclusion is that J the nass of ordinary shooting stars does not * ? PmfM. liner greauy irum uun & >v>?w >or Newcomb appears aim to concur in his estimate. There are reasons, which t would take too long to discuss, for hinking that this value is fikely to be omewhat too small; but on the other land it is almost absolutely certain that he average mass cannot be as great as >ne-fourth of an ounoe. To be on the afe side, we will assume one hundred grains as the mean weight of the visible hooting stars. "Remembering that the pound is. r,000 grains, we shall then find nearly 107,000 pounds, or about fifty tons, for ;he total weight of one day's supply of hooting stiffs. An allowance must Uso be made for the meteors too small x> be visible (which are known by telescopic observations to be very numerous), and for the matter brought down by aerolites. If we double the quantity stated above we shall certainly be abundantly liberal, and this will give us 214,300 pounds a day, or about 78,164,000 pounds per year, as the earth's rate of growth in weight. " Her increase of bulk depends upon the density of the meteoric matter, and probably this density does not differ much from that of ordinary soil, or nearly three times that of water. If so, each cubic foot would weigh about 187} pounds, and the annual meteoric accession to the bulk of the earth would be not far from 417,000 cubio feet A cube about* seventy-five feet on each side would be a little larger. It would take more than four millions such to make a pile as large as Mount Washington. Now, since the surface of the earth is about 5,484 millions of millions of square feet, it follows that the annual supply of meteoric matter, if spread aniformly, would form a layer whose thickness would be only 1-13,155,000,000 a foot or very nearly 1-1,100,000,000 of an inch. In other words, even on such extravagantly favorable hypotheses as '5 11 ft we nave assumed, me lutmauuu v. ? sheet of meteoric matter covering the earth to a depth of one inch wonld require a period of eleven hundred millions of years. "If we suppose meteoric matter to have been jnst as abundant in space as * now, sinoe the beginning of time, and that the velocity of the earth's orbital motion has remained unchanged, and that the effects of her atmosphere and of her gradual shrinkage under the aotioa of gravity can l>e neglected, then it can be shown by an easy course of reasoning, which would, however, hardly suit these oolumns, that her diameter must have grown during her whole existence at the same uniform rate as now, and we find that to build her up to her present dimensions by such a process of aggregation must have taken a period of at least twenty-seven and a half millions of millions of years. "It is not intended to assert, however, that the earth was really formed in this way ; and even if it was, the above estimate is of little value exoept as indicating the order of magnitude involved; sinoe there is no certainty whatever? not even a probability?that in the early stages of the formation of the planetary system circumstances nearly enough resembled the present to warrant any conclusion. Nor must it be forgotten that the probable estimates of Harknees and others as to the weight of meteors would lengthen all the periods of time mentioned from ten to one hundred fold* We have given the smallest valuos possible." . An Eccentric Elopement. A few weeks ago Mrs. H. T. Yarbrough obtained a divorce from he! husband on the ground of desertion. The husbai d went from Nashville to ? " ?a -i:n si work at Hickman, Ay., ana buii, ? ? appears, cherished an affection for her, sent letters and telegfams urging her to come to him and marry him again. She accordingly left Nashville on the Hickman bound# train. When she reached Waverloy, however, she was taken from the train upon a dispatch which her brother had caused to be sent. He followed her, proposing to persuade her to return, or in any event prevent her from going to Hickman to meet Yarbrongh. At Waverley, under pretense that she was eoing to her room to lie down, she and the daughter of the hotel proprietor slipped out by the back way, ran a mile up the track and flagged the western bound train. Mr. Sweeney now telegraphed to the conductor of the train at Frost station to put her off at that point, but the conductor sent back word that he was not an officer of the law; that she had paid her fair to I Hickman, and was entitled to go there. The train was flagged one mile this side of Hickman, where she met her former I k?ahan<t TT? took h?r to .the court house, a license was obtained, and they were married three minutes thereafter. Smabt Bot.?A smart boy, after eating a green apple, exclaimed: "Oh, dear, I've chewed an Odd Fellow!" " An Odd Fellow f" asked his mother. " Tea; he is ffiving me the grip." That youngster will be an odtj enough fellow, if he lives long enough.