University of South Carolina Libraries
TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM.] " tece fflioe liberty x? uteenal vigiijanob." [PAYABLE IN ADVANCE* ,J|j BY DAVIS & ROLLINGS WORTH. ABBEVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 30, 1856. VOT. yttt lfflaS(gSILlL?s.Ell?!S3. THE SOUTH AND TH3 COMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. In n recent editorial ns to the position of Mr. Breckenridge upon the slavery question, tho New Orleans Delta says: We are sick and disgusted with the quibbling, tho pettifoggery, the prevarication, the skulking reticence, the double dealing and trachcry which we have observed North and South, during the present .......,.. ~.. !.? o.,,r ..i ,it... vuu* vn iuv oui'jwi ui oirtvuij. inn in the midst of all the fog and mystification, we have kept tli3 true interest of the South i ?her vital interest, the very apple of her j eye?steadily before us, and by that we liave steered and shall continue to steer, 1 following it as the cloud by day anil the ' pillar of fire by night. As regards her ^ political relations in the Union, that inter- ; est unquestionably is the preservation of her equilibrium in the Senate by the exlcn- j sion of slavery. The North is seeking to ; gain the balance of power?a majority in j tho House and in the Senate?and that once gained, Abolitionism will sweep away J every constitutional rampart and the South ; will be at its mercy. The abstract question of slavery becomes thus merged in the j (uglier one 01 sen-ueieiice. 10 ueienu me Sou lb, it is necessary to preserve lier cquili- j liriuin in the Union; to secure that equili- i briuiu it is necessary to extend slavery ; to j perpetuate slavery it is necessary to extend j it; and, therefore, the extension of slavery ! is the vital interest of the South as regards ! her relations to national politics. These were the views of Mr. Calhoun, I and there is 110 better guide than his clear 1 intellect amid the storm and darkness of j these perilous times. Why should not the Democratic leaders and organs iu the South have expressed these views, instead of ?|iiib- i Ming, iu a way that a member of a village debating society would be ashamed of, about the Democratic party being neither for the extension of slavery, as a party, nor j against it?as a fraternity of donkeys, we presume ? Why not say boldly that thu ! Democratic nartv desired the South to live, i ' j to defend herself, to grow her natural growth, and as necessary thereto, that it de- ; sired the extension of slavery? Depend upon it, the Northern people would appro- : eiate such candor. They are sick enough of ^ the hypocrisy and dishonesty of their own politicians, and they would be glad to en courage such frank honesty, if merely for 1 its novelty. So much for the question of j slavery extension. As regards the three candidates for the j Presidency, our opinion has been the same ! from the beginning. Mr. Fremont's cleo- | tiou would be a proclamation of war bj- j the North against the South ; it would be a blow in the f.ice; the South cotihl not I Lear it meekly, without being self debased j ancl acknowledging that not insult and no injury could drive her out of a dishonora- j ble Union. Mr. Fillmore's election would j bo a negation at best; but as we could not j rely upon his free exercise of the veto j power, we would he at the mercy of any j policy that the Black Republicans might i succeed in carrying out through Congress. [ Mr. Buchanan's election would he little more ! than a negation but for the pledges he lists ' given in the Ostend letter and in his en- j doificment of the Cincinnati platform. The j South, under his administration, would liave four years longer for preparation ; she would have lime to strengthen her outposts, 1 placing Kansas, if possible, on one flank, ' and Cuba ou the other, with a valuable rally- j ing point in Nicaragua ; and thus, if the ! interim were wisely turned to account, un- j der tlio favor of Heaven, 6he would be j ready at the end of four years to hid do- ; fiance to all her foes, and stay in the Union,' if au honorable and equal position were j frankly conceded to her, or if not, go out\ of it?fresh as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the &un, and terrible as any ariny with banners. ^ ^ The Duplicate Fremont.?Captain S. L. Fremont, who resides in Wilmington, North Carolina, is said to be the other Fremont, designated by the New York Tribune as a Roman Catholic. Captain Fremont's friends are highly indignant, and a.Wilmington journal says: "Capt. S. L. Fremont is not now, and never was a member of the Catholic Cliurch. There is no shadow of personal resemblance between him and the Black Republican candidate. It is hardly possible for two men to look more unlike. Captain Fremont is tall, say about six feet bigh, will weigh at least tine hundred and eighty pounds, parts, liis hair and wears his clothes |ifce his neighbors, and, like every other pfftcor of the army whom we have ever jnet, lift*,* thorough contempt for the Colonel, because he knows him to be con toflgpUbfat" ; A jjirl wlio had become tired of single bleaM&tew, tbus wrote to ber intended: MDe?r St*, eon) rite off if you're cum mine' ?tA)||:^f^^elderninn i? insulin' tliat I shall ' 94 l'? bugs and kisses me ?0 I emi't hold out of tan*y an* ***i?#ood. He*ays lie didn't care a **#1m^^it titan matrimony. .?... _^..^rii^'-i--^- , -. ;> /: i THE LOVES OF THE BIRDS. Poets have sung the loves of men and of ' angels, but they have never been known to j sing of the loves of birds. They have been 1 very negligent in this respect. The loves of the birds would form as fruitful a theme as those of the poets themselves. In their attachments, they are generally faithful and affectionate?and it must be confessed they are, like men, a little jealous sometimes.? Audubon gives a beautiful description of j j the loves of the humming birds. lie says i I that in their courtship, the male, dancing j ......J ...? and throat, and whirls lightly around the j female; then diving towards a flower, lie i returns with loaded hill, which he pro tiers i to her. lie seems full of cestacy when his , caresses are kindly received. JI is little ; wings fan her as they fan the flowers, and j he transfers to her bill the insect and the ' honey which lie has procured. If his ad- ! dresses are received with favor, bis courage | and care are redoubled. He dares even to j chase the tyrant fly-catcher, and hurries the ; blue bird and martin to their nests ; and ! then, on sounding pinions, lie joyously re- j turns to his lovely mate. Who would not j be a humming bird ? Audubon says : "Could you, kind reader,casta momentary glance at the nest of a humming bird, ! and see, as I have seen, the newly hatched ! pair of young, little larger than bumble- I bees, naked, blind, and so feeble as scarcely ! to be able to raise their little bills to receive ] food from their parents, full of anxiety ami | fear, passing ami re-passing within a few j indies of your face, alighting on a twig not j more than a yard from your body, awaiting : i the result of your unwelcome visit in a j state of the utmost despair?you could not ! fail to be impressed witii the deepest pangs | < which parental affection feds on the unex- 1 pected death of a cherished child. Then < how pleasing is it, on your leaving the spot, ( to see the returning hope of the parents, j when, after examining the nest, they iind . I their nurslings untouched!" We have remarked above that birds, as well as men, are sometimes jealous in love, j An exception, howevtfr, may be found to j < this general rule in the golden-winged wood- | ; pecker, a frequent, and well known inhat i- j taut of our American forests. Among the bright beaux and belles of this interesting ; tribe, no jealousies seem to exist, and no ! qu irrcls ever occur. Cheerily they hop through life, attend by the good wishes of j iui men* acq11niniaiiocs, and ot each oilier. No sooner does Rpring call them to the pleasant duty of selecting mates and j a'r- ; I itig off, than their voices may he heard j from the tops of high, decayed trees, j>ro- J claiming with delight the opening of the j welcome season. Their note at this period is merriment itself, and when heard at a : little distance resembles a prolonged and ' I jovial laugh. These golden-winged woodpeckers are the darlings of Audubon. In j describing their manner of mating, he says au?vini aiuuvo on i i uuiiu <1 icliiail*, uiiu iu ; tlic prove truth ainl earnestness of their love, bow their I?ea<ls, spread their tails ami move sideways, backwards and forwards, perform- , in!* such antics as would induce anv one . . . * i witnessing them to join liis laugh to theirs. ' The female joyfully flies to another tree, ' where she is closely followed by her suitors, and where again the samo ceremonies are gone through with until a marked preference is indicated for some individual. In this way, all the golden-winged woodpeckers are soon happily mated, and each pair proceeds to excavate a hole in a tree for a nest. They work alternately, with industry and apparent phsanire. When the i nest is finished they caress each other on j the tree top, rattle their bills against the i w I dead branches, chase their cousins, tlic red- j head, defy the purple grakles to cuter their : nest, and feed plentifully 011 ants, beetles, | and larvae. By and l>y tho female lays four or six eggs, the whiteness and transparency of which are doubtless the delight of her heart. These woodpeckers raise a numerous progcii}', having two broods every season. The loves of the turtle dove and mocking-bird are graphically described by Audubon, as arc also those of the wild turkey, who is said to be even more ridiculous iu Ins motions, and more absurd iu bis demon- i strations of affection, than is our common tame gander. The curious evolutions in the air of the great horned owl, or his motions when ho has alighted near his beloved, Audubon confesses himself unable to describe. Ho says the bowings and snappings of his bill are extremely ludicrous; and no sooner is the female assured that the attentions paid her by her lover are the result of sincere affection, than she joins in the motions of her future mate. So much for the love of birds. In many respects they resemble those of men. We have among us in society, our humming? bird lovers, our golden winged wood packer*, our turtle doves, our turkeys, and gauders ; and occasionally we find a pair of who remind u> of horned owls.?Boston Journal K member of the Scottish Mesmeric Curatiro Association staled at a Into meeting that persons desirous of avoiding sleepless nights, shonfd lie with their beads to the north?ori no account with their heads to the west, 1 ^ Thn next nnastion to .h# d?hul?1 h? tlia Farmer's Club la:?"Can good bread be * raised' by wind, if tlie wind t* 4ea?U** in I mm i ah From the Olivt Brunt It. A MOSQUITO HUNT. It was near tlio hour of midnight. A solitary mosquito was hoard singing his monotonous chaunt around the bed of an old bachelor. Now whizzing and buzzing, advancing, retreating?ever describingsmnller and small circles, about the head of him who listened to its approach, certain that lie was the doomed one. Now the sleep-scattering insect alights unon his nose. If. w;i? i?t<r1.?v ? - - o"V Alia! who is the doomed one now; mentally ejaculates the old bachelor, us lie stretches forth his long, bony hand, with intent to inflict instant vengeance, but he only administers a smart blow upon his own nasal organ. Again tlie atom of insect life returns, and now buzzing in one ear and skipping to the other, he seems to whisper, I smell the blood of an old bach"lor man, dead or alive I v.ili hav- .Kom<-. And now not only is the huge hand in motion, but the huge body vibrates with rajje. The gaunt figure, in his eagerness to disarm the offender, now springs from the bed with emphasis, hastily arrays liiinself in his daily costume, (a sad snuff-colored suit, with huge flaps and deep culls) muttering all the while sentence of death against the mosquito race in general, and this individual one in particular. Now commenced llie chase after liis niosi|iiiloslii|>. The solemn bachelor with candle. in his hand, explores every nook where might be supposed to lie in ambush, his enemy?the moMpiito. Now from one corner of the apartment to another, hops the mosquito, so also the old bachelor. "Willi kerchief knotted together as a ding, stood like David, the old bachelor, iven as he of old slew (ioliah, so would lie slay the mns<piilo. Hut no ! the inospiito's phrenological developments indicate cunning; he is not to be caught napping. In among his dusty books down among liis musty boxes, plunged the mosquito.? llow he dodged, and tacked, and veered, :tnd ever and anon he buzzed a triumphal buzz, and tickled the nose of the old bach eior. a irantio stall, a whirl ?>'. despair, and in vain with his long arms he saw tlic ;iir rushing wildly about, liillicr, thither after the hlood-thirsty toniienlcr. Now away llics his little majesty, and lakes refuge within the folds of tin; curtain with which llie window is draped. Willi cautious catlike alcjjs, stealthily approaches the pursuer. A blast of air occasions the candle to flicker. Willi half muttered curses against woman's f>11 y in placing hangings elaborate, to afford llie mosquito hiding-places, he makes llic light stationary l>v transferring it from his tremulous hand to tlie table. And now a new thought strikes liim, a new iustruuient of warfate is suggested ; his eye has fallen upon a walking-tanc?brandishing it aloft lie returns to the charge, and without mercy applies it l<> llie mosquito's surroundings. Again the little flesh-piercer comes forlh, and boldly faces his antagonist with a hrush of his liny dark wing, and whizzes defiance. You arc there, old follow ! arc you ? he seemed to sing; hut I'll lead you a long chase, and straightway commenced dancing various minuets and pironetts upon the ceiling, which already hears the marks of many a previous hnttlo, wa?jed wiili his ancestors. After chassaing here and balancing there, to his liny heart's content, lie tlies now lower, now higher, a liltio higher, still higher, out of the reach of his frantic adversary's long arm, and perched upon the highest point of the spear-head from which depended llio drapery; nud now from Ids place of safety steadfastly eyed tlie old bachelor. And now, friend, let nie present him to your mind's eye as ho stood sentinel over his foe?the mosquito:?With open month, as if to give utterance to his ?ut?, but m> sound issued therefrom, only a silent motion of the lips, which was intelligible to those who knew his peculiarities, ho nppeared like one evoking some unseen spirit to bis aid. Willi anns folded nud one foot advanced forward us if ready for a spring, his, piercing eyes darting 6evere glances from underneath his sl|*ggy eyebrows and overhanging brow ?with every muscle si rained, and every feature expressive of determination, stood the old bachelor.? Hour after hour went by, still there stood the old bachelor. The clock of a neighboring church struck the knell of the departing hours. One, two, threo?but still there stood the immovable old bachelor, striving to mesmerize the mosquito. But see! the flickering candle expires; and hark! onward rushes the mosquito* blowing liis shrill whistle in liis face, who in despair springs into his bed, covers his head with the friendly bed-clothes, falls asleep, bat still floated before his eyes the ?i .? r j* |FUdllVVIU (Villi VI Mini Ull/8(|Ullll* A good rat trap may bo made by filling a smooth kettle to within six inches of the top with water, and covering with chaff The first rat that gets in, makes an outcry because he cannot got ont, ?nd Ute res) coming to see what the matter is,. Bhure tin same fote. . ",/,: city authorities ?1,000 per ?aoQj? :far tb< me of tb?l*tfp poiU to port adv^iUHflg billi ou. The offor wu oot accepUd. ' THE LOVE THAT LA8T8. 'Tib not a flower of instant growth ; Hut from dn unsuspected germ, Tlint lay within the hearts of both, Assumes its everlusting form. Aa daisy budi among the grass, With the same green do silent grow, I Nor limifta nnr l?nv? !.?* 1 v..... puss, I Can tell if lliey be flowers or no? 'Till on some genial morn in Mny, j Tlieir timid, modest leaflets rise, | Disclosing beauties to tlie duy, Thill strike tbc guzer with surprise ? | So soft* so sweet, so mild, so lioly, So cheerful in obscured shade; ; So unpretending, meek and lowly, j And yet the pride of ouch green glnde. So love doth spring, so love doth grow, ti" \l!"? such as never dies; i bod just oi -MiB here ? 1 The flower blooms on in parudiwe. DREAMING ON WEDDING CAKE. A bachelor editor out West, who had ro' ccived, from the fair hand of a bride, a piece of elegant wedding cake, to dream : on, thus gave the result of his experience : | We put it under ... 'icad of our t. ilow shut our eyes sweetly as an infant, and bleaj sed with an easy conscience, soon snored prodigiously. The God of our dreams gently touched lis, and lo! in fancy, we i were married. Never was a little editor so happy. It was " my love, dearest sweetest," ringing in our ears constantly. Oh! that ' the dream had broken off here. Hut no, : SOllie Ovil irflllitlK tlll? i? "? !>" luMi'l nf o I ? """"J to have pudding for dinner, just to please j her lord. j In u hungry dream wc sat down to dinI ner. Well, tlic pudding moment arrivedi and a lutge slice almost obscured from sight ' the before us. ! "My dear.'' said we, fondly, "did you make this ?" ! " Yes, love, ain't it nice " Glorious?the liest bread pudding I ! ever tasted in my life." j " ]'luin pudding, duekv," suggested my i wife. ! "O, no dearest, bread pudding. I alj ways was fund of 'em." I ,l (JjiH !n CXvluiiiiCv! . my wife, while her lips curled slightly with i contempt. "Certainly, my dear: reckon I've had j enough at the Sherwood House, to know i bread pudding my love, by all means." " Husband?this is really too bad?plum j pudding is twice as hard to make as bread j pudding, and is more expensive, and is a great deal belter. 1 say this is plum pudj ding. sir!" and my pretty wife's brow ! tluslicd Willi excitement. " My love, iny dear, my sweet love," ex! claimed we, soothingly, 44 do not got angry; | I'm sine it's very good if it's bread pud! ding." i " Von mean, low wreleii," fiercely replied i iny wife in a liiglier tone, "you know it's I plum pudding." ' "Then, ma'am, it is so meanly put together, and so badly burned, that the devil himself couldn't know it. 1 tell you madam, most distinctly and emphatically, and will ; not be contradicted, that it is bread pudding, and the meanest kind at that." " It is plum pudding," shrieked my wife, as sho hurled a glass of claret in my face, the i glass itself tapping the claret from ! nose. ! 44 Bread pudding!" gasped we, pluck to ! tho last, and grasping a roasted chickeu by ' the left leg. I 44 Plum pudding !" rose above the din, as I had a distinct perception of feeling two plates smashed across my head. 44 Bread pudding !n we groaned in a rage as tho chicken left our hand, and flying with swift wings across the table, landed in madam's l>osom. '*P!um pudding," resounded tho war-cry from the enemy, us the gravy dish took us where we had been depositing the first part of our dinner, and a plate of beets landed upon our white vest. " Bread pudding forever!" shouted we in defiance, dodging tho soup tureen and falling beneath its contents. " Plum pudding," yelled the amiable spouse, as noticing our misfortune, determined to keep us down by piling upon our head tho dishes with nogentle hand. Then, in rapid succession followed the war-cry, " Plum pudding 1" she shrieked with every dish. " Bread pudding 1" in smothered tones, came up from the pile iu reply. :> <_. u ?i.n. n .?* Alien l? "no piuiu JIUUUIDg 111 TOpiCI succession, the last cry growing feebler, till just as I can distinctly recollect, it had grown to a wh'wtpor. "Plum pudding" resounded HV.e thunder, followed by it tremendous crash as my wife leaped flpon the pile wtttt her ^eKcato feot, and commended jumping , up and down?when, thank Henrf*, W awoke and thus saved our life. - ;v We shall never dream on wedd&g <*t4 ^10-lb.f. tlx fnor?L 1 -t, ( lad came m great 1 taste into tor* the other rooming, and**Jfout, of COURTING AN OLD MAID. Some men may discourse most elaborately upon tho art of angling, disputing warmly and pertinaciously concerning the relativo merits of soft crab ami clam as a bait, or what ought to bo the shape of a hoof?others can boast, if they choose, of their fast horses, get in raptures at tho magnificent action of the bob-tail bay, bet their lives he can make his mile in 2.40, aud be ready to back tho opinion by putting up the funds?or others again, having a more exalted idea of human felicity, may tell you of the ecstatic bliss one experiences in sparking of a widow, (cowhides and revolvers ineliirlr?fl ^ lmt ?->li ' ? ?? V 1 "" J >? """ "i"" fishes, what is to be compared to the pleasure unalloyed of courting a prim, coy old maid, (lite term is not applied :is commonly used, for of a verity, the gems of tho sex are tliose that are styled old maids.) Ah ! tho ineffable rapture?the joy unspeakable?tho wild delight of stealing a kiss from the measure-placed lips of au uususpecting Miss Dimity. And who can describe the alloverish sensation so singularly fixing itself up^n and gradually stealing over him, when Hears the sounds, "Now don't, sir?oh, don't, Mr. Brown?don "? as lie attempts to seize the hand that she fain would use to conceal the roses (a little faded, to be sure,) blossoming on her chaste cheeks. If the man almost confirmed in bad habits, would be reclaimed, rely upon it, the speediest and safest way is to address an old maid, for she will as kindly and unerringly point out the remedies for ill practices, as apply such restoratives to a pair of dilapidated unmentionables as are needed. It is really a comfort (provided you are minus muddy feet, or wish to avoid a look of undisguised horror,) to visit the premises presided over by such a fair one?everything is in such apple-pie order. And so feelingly and urgently does she speak of the necessity of guarding against exposure, that you are led to ejaculate?"Oh, woman, thy gentleness and foresight are indeed blessings to reckless male humanity !" Expatiate, if you will, upon sparkling eyes and ruby lips, but should you desire sensible courting, (doubtless a misnomer,) try an old maid, and a wager for it, you will find something substantial, if the expression be allowable. Old Dr. Strong, of Hartford, whoso name is still a praise in the churches, lit"1 an unfoilunate habit of saying amusing things when lie meant not to. As when he presided at a meeting of ministers, and wishing to call one of them to comu forward and ofiur a prayer, he said : " Brother Culton, Of Bolton, AVill you stop this way, And pray?"' To which lirother Colton immediately answered, without intending to perpetrate anything of the same sort, " My dear brother Strong, You do very wrong To be uiuking rhymn A I Jimli n pj\1o??n '? Ami tlieu Dr. Strong replied willi equal iunoconce, " I'm very sorry to sec, That you're just like me." The good men would not for the world have made jests on such occasion, hut they fc'ould plead the same excuse for their rhymes that the hoy did for whistling in school, "I didn't whistle, sir, it whistled itself !"?Harpers' Magazine. MorntOnixm in Denmark.?Mormonism is making such progress in Denmark as to cause the religious and reflecting part of the inhabitants to look with dread to tho future, as it might exercise a most haneful influence on the peasantry and lower classes, who are >f. i l.wiuoivv/ij iv wi ivuiiu nmuii^ iuv t'uuvttiai Several petitions have been 6ent to the Government from different parts of the kingdom, praying that a stop may be put to the nuisance, and that the Mormons be prohibited fiom exercising in future their religious ceremonies with so much demonstrative ostentation as they are now allowed to do. Jutland is the part where the great hot bed of Mormon proselyti'sm is to be found: and, as they eventually make up caravanB or parties of four or five hundred together, to emigrate to America, in order to settle on the banks of the Great Salt Lako, it will havo the effect of ultimately depopulating the province to a great degree, and depriving its agriculture of many industrious hand*. It is especially to this point that the petition I to the King, just sent in from the town of I Aalborg, and signed by upwards of 200 of theprinoipal inhabitants, fays so much stress, sod calls the attenUon of^Xie Government. ^ > < m ' Shirt Tree.?-"Wo talk of the miserable price paid for shirt making, and Hood's touching nppea) has embalmed the subject. But lo South America shirt* tire prepared whh less labor. Io the forests of Orinoko there is n lire which often attains tha fcrfio&t l|i? natives are Mid ^ptwntre shlrte. To procure that confi|?rw?pt,.Uk on1y necessary to strip ROWLAND HILL AND THE ROBBER. An auecilolo has been related of the remarkable conduct of llowland Hill to n highway robber, whom he reclaimed by great kindness, and took into his employ. In a funeral sermon preached at his decease, he gives the following remarkable account : " Many persons present were acquainted with tho deceased, and have had it in their power to observe his character and conduct. They can bear witness that I speak the ! truth when I assert that, for a considerable number of years past, lie has proved himself a perfectly sober, honest, industrious, and religious man ; faithfully performing) as far as lay in his power, the duties c>f his station in life, and serving God with constancy and zeal. And yet this very man? this virtuous and pious man?was once n robber on tho highway. More than IhirtV years ago, ho stopped mc on the public road, and demanded my money. Nut at all intimidated, I argued with hitn ; I asked what could induco him to pursue so iniquitous and dangerous a course of life. ' I have been a coachman,' said he, 1 but am now ont of place; and, not being able to get a character, obtain no employment, and therefore am obliged to resort to this means of gaining subsistence.' 1 desired him to call upon me; he promised lie would, and he kept his word. 1 talked further with him, and ollered to take him into my service, lie consented ; and ever since that period lie has served ine faithfully ; fliwl r*r>f- iriA nrilr Knf 1?nc * ........... ,J OVUtU liis God. And instead of finishing his life in a public, ignominious manner, with a depraved and hardened rtfiiid, as lie pfobablt would soon have done, he has died in peace, rejoicing in hope; and prepared, we trust, for the society 'of just men made perfect.' Till this day, this extraordinary occurrence has been confined to his breast and mine; I have never mentioned it even to my dearest fricud." Truli/ a Hard Case.?Obe Stephens, formerlj- the eccentric representative in the 1 Assembly from Steuben, who now keeps a Hotel in Ilornsville, tells a very good story at the expense of our Fremont friends. Not long since a very good looking young tvo!r.as stopped at Obe's house and called for a room, saying that licr husband would call shortly, when she wished him to be shown up. Soon after, a burly dandified " colored pussun" called and inquired for his wife; Obe told hiiri she could not have stopped there, as there was only one female guest in the house, and she \Vas a very iiu? looking white lad}*. " Dat's her?dnt'a her," said the sable dandy. Obe thought there must bo some mistake, so ho went to the lady's room, and informed her that a " cussed nigger" was down below who claimed to bo her husband. Sho quietly informed him that tho " colored gemm'n" was in reality her husband, and that she wished him sent up to her room. "The <1?1!" exclaimed Obe, with astort lsiimcut; " is jt possible that ns good looking a womau as you would marry a nig-1 gerT , She .assured him it was a fact, and added: " I married miich better than my sister did after all ?" "You did?" responded Obe; " who in thunder did she marry ?" " Why," replied the lady, with great disgust, "she is married to a Fremont man i" The ox-represenlativc acknowledged the corn, and extonded to the " mixed pair*' the" best the house could afford.?Elmira (iV. lr.) Gazelle; Be Systematic.?It will add much more to your convenience than you can imagine. It saves time, saves temper, saves patience, and saves money. For a time it may be a little troublesome, but you will soon find it easier to do right than wrong, that it is easier to act by rule than without one. Be systematic in everything ; let it extend to most minute trifles, it is not beneath you. Whitfield coilld not go to sleep at night if, after retiring, he remembered that his gloves and riding whip were not in their usual place, where lie could lay his hand on them in tbo dark iu any emergency ; and such men are the Men who leave their mark on the world's history. Systematic men are the only reliablemefi; they are those who comply with their en gagements. They are minute men. The man who lias nothing to do is the man who does nothing. The inan of system is Boon known to do what be engages to dQy to do it well, and to do at the same tiiqrprttmisedi consequently he has his lmnds full. ? '!? ? The Troueeeatt pf* a. Princeee.?Tbe' bridal arrangements, the magnificent trous aaii Uvirlo Ar/> in 't/tonr *\t lit a 'UrnS prpachmg umrriagQ pf the Process RdyaV of England at Bfrjiu, nttract AC^^guolt at* Tirlmjfri ~rrr aotualfjhgoing' from Cflli^oo t? witaedj^enu IPnflrti are fix rootiu filled ^?Uh 'nSjpfp* ribbon*, velvets, xx*\ly hato, aftfaeial flowonj^ exquisite embrojkderiesin gobj and silver, bonnet*, c^gomis, glor^ body and table linen, diamonds .^ jewelry, fihawls, man <40. r-;r ; ------ ' -?M The Mechanical (Junius of the Country-. ?The annual report of the United States Vt Patent Office, shows that the inarch of in^ ver.tion is exceedingly rapid. Two ponderous volumes, embracing descriptions of tho V mechanical improvements patented during tho year 1855, have just been issued froui ^ that office. They demonstrate that the ^ number of applications made to tlW officd jjip for patents was 4,435, being nearfy twice the number of applications made in 1853i Tho number of patcilt& issued was 2,024j more than twice the number granted twti years ago. In 1845?ten years previous? tltn nod, '-f ? re. >vwi|ju ui me uim:? were 73*4,?;?' while la^t 3'?5ar they vrere ?210,459, or fivtJ and a lialf times greater. Ill this report *\o behold a record of the "-1 progress of American mind in the line of invention for facilitating mechanical operaJ j tiotis. Yankee ingenuity surpasses that of the rest of tho worlu. In the pages of tho report are described machines for decreasing the labor in every department of agriculture; and making it more profitable; for J working in all kinds of metal, aiid for iibrile and textile substances; new deviccs for tho many manufactures depending upon improved chemical processes; improve-' ments in steam, gas; and fire engines; machines, and, indeed, something useful hi every department of industry: If any other country can show such a chronicle of the triumph of inventive industry, wo should like to see it."?Philadelphia Evening Jour* nal. A (rood Shot?A correspondent of Porter's Spirit of the Times tells tlie following 1 good slorv : | " A friend of mine somewhat fond of ^ star gazing, was enjoying the magnificent ' meteoiic shotver,'as the sago of Brooklyn ;'! describes ft, on ifie night of the 15th Auj 1 gust; brotight out on his front piazza, his 11 telescope, to enable him more clearly to j4i witness the interesting phenomenon. lie had pointed the instrument towards the northwestern portion of the firmament; then tlie motion arrested the attention of a rustic then passing, who followed with his eyes me motion ot my friend. At this mo- } rncnt a brilliant meteor shot across tlic sky, > ray friend unconsciously gave utterance to his delight, when what wa9 his astonishment t) hear from the lips of the aforesaid rustic, the following remark " Devil! but you've hit liira, a right smart j shot, at that distance," i A Whole Family in Heaven.?A whole family in heaven ; who can describe their everlasting joy ? No oue is absent. No father, uor mother, nor son, nor daughter, J is away. In the world "below they were united in faith, and love, and peace, and joy. It) the morning of the resurrection they ascended together. Before the throne of (Jo.! lh(>v linw tnirrtlliop in iinila/l ihUm. J ,-0?... ... ? lion. On tlie banks of ihe River of Life they walk hand in hand, and as k family they have commenced a career of glory which shall bo everlasting. There is hereufter to bo no separation !" that family. No one ia to lie down on a bod of pain. No one is i6 wander away in temptation. No one to sink into the arms of death. Never in heaven is that family to move along the slow procession, clad in the habiliments of woo, to consign one of its members to the tomb. God grant, in his infinite riiercy, flint. Avnrir fiutiilt* mnt< l\n llnto 1 ...... WV UIU9 II>?|^U??r p Barnct. .. - | A gentleman prorerbial for bis gallantry, having occasion to ask a lady to pass him tho snuffers, thus addressed Her: "Most " ^ beautiful, charming, and accomplished lady, by an undeserved condescension of your infinite goodness, extend to your most obsequious, devoted, and very humble servant, that pair of ignipoteflt digests, in order that ... " > I may exasperate the excrescences of (his nocturnal cylindric luminary, and thus cause tho refulgent brightness of its resplendent brilliancy to dazzle the vision of our ocular ' ;} organs more perfectlysn . --*???? . ... ^ . 3 Energy.? " The longer I a great writer,u the more certain tUrft'T^nV-tbat | the great dilFerence botweetTmen, tjj0 great ^ and the Insignificant, is - energy?fnvioci- | Lie determiuatioBT^? iioncstr- purpose once fixed, and ttien'dentfi ^ quality will do anything^e -jl ces, no opportunity, will mate > gcd creaturea - ! One of (he Boy8.^^K\t^^^i4x6 liaro you beon, CharleyMother?44 No,you h^TilhlliuiltfftflilliM ; WMF