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IMMH DinM Firti. 5 ? vrJtMkmmi a woo and din nil frot. y iSVrcr tt&pjjfc ;.?? ill tljo euu 18 fhln ' raS./gff""! wtl* unendin# Hotlilnk tlico how tho ?torut?i>ftt>ni licawn tU> *" > too stlf/onk, but sparo tho wlUow bond V^^ AnO bldo and dinua fret ?i<M fshnrpcr ?tlii? doth borrow f .. * ? JpwS^Klshall tf* eortow ^jl \ ,wnni us fa* tho nrefiout and tho inorrdwv : I < bldo owxe, ami dlnuaftx>t. uixlous brooding il (iintnslc* d?'ludln?: -I 1 tbrSo toruionU bo intrud ? *' > -> >;? ? . ? ,M * '* a wooftud dintia Xrot. rl f'ffifc.fr'J^.'^^vojrjrQtbojr Saturday, a OS A QATM POftTi ' ? ?- ?? ?:.'??? ?.???? Ullal inn I. , Mmmmm rty ttt man hail to do all his roadlne; for hiua. Ho wroto a book'fqll of curious things and niunli r?, but ono day whon hd found d4o rea<yng it* ho took It away from me and byrned it up. It must novo been bad and. ho must have beeu sorry that ho wruto it. What Is yobr namaP" V I told hor, aid expressed my surprise thalsho had uot sooucr naked me. ??It W*s your placo to toll mo without iny asking," slio said. "When I told you my name, you should haro told mo your*.- Don't you soe?" I acknowledged the justico of hor re buko. Tlio day passed rather ploasantly, with tlio oxocntlqn Of tho influence of tho ' night boforo, which naturally enough sbe could not dttfpcl nnd which I could not koop from arising occasion ally. Wo sat on a log and nto dinner,, aua Munetto's remarks gavo mo ad | ditioual insight into hor closo habit of [ observation. Whon ovoning cauae, wo itoppdd at n farm house, whore tho sad ! itory ef the little girl awoko such sym Ip'atby that tho kind-hoartod house-wife ueggod mo to allow tlio chil'l to roipnin frith hor. "tt*is a question tliat slid mustde* eido," I rejoined. **What do you say, Munetto?" "I am surpvlsou that you should ask mo such a question," sho replied, approaching tho cliftir Whore. I eat and taking myVhand. ^"Woold it ixot be ungratoful iu mo to dosort you bo soon, or to over desert youP'! ??She's got moro sun so than an old woman right now/' said tho host, ad drosslug his wife. "Our tweuty-oight year old daughter that man-led last month ain't a patchin' to this girl." "W-y, Josporson," said his wifo. In mild Cqnsurof "Margaret ain't twenty eight years old. V "Sho's mighty uigh U." "An1 bo3idea that,," continued tho woman, ''she n-vor had a oliance." ??Didn't go to school tluoo months o'uton nearly every year, ebP - What bhow doos a gal want, rdliko toknowP This Uttlo crfectur, t warrant you neyoj; has bflen to sebooj." * 4 "Oh, yes, 'sir.. My Wholo Hi's has been a sohool. Tho old honAo whoro I mod to Ujro: contains many books. If you wane them you may go thoro and got thom. I shall never go tiftor thom. T could hovor ro?id them again.11 "AVell, blast my buttons if I don't mosy up that way. I ain't much of a scholar, but I reckon ? I oan worry through with a lot of tfiom." t'Atk t* My mother welcomed - woman tutklssod L|pd3. wJlVX I short absonco*. , ; :" * wmu m?p voM HO many .booka ami njakes mo stuih wlso observations that I am Oon atartrtyBurprlHOd, To toll you the truth, I Com not advance hci\ Not that I am not IntollcOUiulIy nblo?abom-xbut or ^because Mo m thlftfc; that at hor hovV rifcrrotvlyJ. escaped,^; ????/;? v.: ? .??:] Whon I spolco to Muuotto. sho said* .Wbnt sohool U a very (lull ploco. It is , a oopslant hum of Ajw- * <lon t llko to clphor, as tho children pall It ti'Ootion.B HWko ray bond noho nnd mis collftnoou* .x?W?l.?Wko mo do* U* To t 860 that sho wns dully becoming more gracoful. 37.Siffim*?:- /A,'iUKr^7-%V ?"n:'>.? t''? J'"' *\ c/'?? V.t ?&?' i .S?i\] tlOri should hnvo Its fall 'tooafflfl loft homo full ol prido. I>Wn? a ? Mftmothor prayed{ but Mu? nolto. did not spoin to bo. itf eoted. "Good byo," she ||fd. ?; "War Is one of tho Incident* of oivlltefctloh, as well W tio g^rl whoni you mm . ,.bl astonishment, sparkled in hbfojrea., 'Ton 4 WU? ohlldron, It Scorns." M * *"J,aroipM Xonoe r jt Mm youbooauso yon 6m n nt ' k' A %t .Is thid, ' X thought j wont to, klnn ino bo mall. There now, c*p up like A V>ftdrVj;4 id Away. Sho tfhlled fno/wtairo -it a hundred yards away and bon you paM the big gato, Mm hind post.1' * *#$ luidfound tho words, 4,I love '" tfiw j vffoter,4,And I |ovo lettor from it as woll tfessor 6# worerflo Wjpob nott^U _ Mi it whenever my to v Without fui oopt to ripj>oiut wortmarricd. Siren"? EST you treat mo so?'1 "Tho domiiUokor Ira u Croat trouble with hor old Shortly afterwords, . _ _ that I was not looking she hor boad ami laughed.-- Arkunsaw Traveler. fe.. iv Bnxgf'R'dlit); Slnde Easy. A William <port yt nius olalms to have invontcd a "bit rjry that, liko tho boy's whistle. jjocs it^olf? -that Is, it doesn't require a horse' to make It go. It is furnished'with tiyo upright lovors in front of ilu>. seat, by nutans of whieh tho rider can -propol.it!>-with groat , oaso bIx or seven miles nu ho\n?. if ho has a femlnino partner, lo can uso ono levor and sho tho other. It; the weather and Roenery. are "deiighiW, tho riders orm bo As qotlboi are as thfy plupse. They can stop to real, if tb ty.want to, .under a big shady treo wiihqut being oom (tolled to nnll at the bit of an mpatient hor**, b;* iuako them selves hoarse shontUig "whoa" to' Jbitu. . Tlia ne\r biiray won't soaro or run away, wreoRlug 11 pelf and ruining the . feathers and llnery of U? fair occupant. And there is no horse with oyes to ?o.? artd give away nuy trifling inlproprioiioHthafc til ay' 60 in dulged in, As to cheapness* tho now buggy doesn't eat, tjoosn't have to bo rubbed d< wn four times a day, doesn't waiit a new set of blankets evory fall, nml a new fr:jrno& and whip onco a year. In ?horf, liio wit of (ho that tho "Wilihtui^tovt invonlion filln a , longifeit want. When the now~ buggy-j has boeonje p^'pulnttaod everybody will r'.do, ot eotnviV M livery-stable keepers w}th,lliolr vocations lull?"~w,Hl go out of fashion. Jtonioo-a;\d Jullot, RS'Jhoy take their dnfly drive in the HHV Of nial harhoss. If any would-be. Juliet should provo too may to workiior levor, Uomeo woulq \mdorstand at onco'that ho had bettor bo looking for a now Juliet with a njoroj Industrious tuv,rt of njliid. Tho ordluary ridorSwlll vide for.pleasure and g6 as slow or as fast as their muscles and surplus ener gy dictate, Instead of feepnpr compelled, as now, to drlvo like .'Jehu iu order-to. ttot their money1? >vorth out of a hired horse or team. Tho only drawbwk to this dollgWtful picture /of a pbs jble - bra in whi.oh oyfcrybody o'an take butfgy-rides toTJn,* heart's content, is the fafet ^liat the In ventor has only pprfeotfyt'ono of thoso self-aot.ing bnggio.s ahttfohnrgos an ad-. I mission or V.b uonttil U> all who want tb K^m:;!nKx .win** Whioh w'd are not, at all preparod to. ad-" mlt? ; i j The tUi rtElicv.,fcw<H'Uy sing? No, Wlnfred^ wo 4on't know any thing of tho kind. In Homo othor nock of wpodvWihfrod. Once tnore tho vjolot opes Its eyos? Possibly, 1 utunder tbb disadvantage of seeing nobody l?y reason of six or eight feet of superincumbent snow? And sooats <-w?Tt pevfumo tbo n)i', . Ailtl oIIrt tlov. r i> r.rtwviiro Jong, Will eprhifl up e/Vyy hoi-o-r they'll be fools if tliey do, Wlnfrud. .Mifl back from many.tv'ilPtwit pmt 'i'liti Joyous birds tivo en tbo wintf, Gcoso, every one ofthenw 80 bid fntowolil to winter Ihoriy whloh Is just what wo want to do, but tho villain stili-pnrtuos us? ? Anrt hntl tb' rotutnliiff Fprhijf. 'v| Noond of hall, bu^pVbolbus little *9r' irniiifr ahrltifr. 4W *11 jv '? ??? uuui'?vuur iou previous and procbeious. If you don't think so start out and ftnd a fowwood violots and sit in a drift until you hew tho thruelioa sing?-tt 'licago Herald. ? A* B.* : ? o: : ?. A man . entered the bank (ho othor\ day and said ho hnd a million dollars which ho desired to plaoo on deposit; olace lt on dopo$ji as ho only * to tiso Onehlmdrod thousand for ihodto soil at presontj TM man talked in a oashlor of ?tho bank, to discovejui tho man waipnbftlanoe* him that ^hoy woro not 1#??? , [ooivonnd beeomo responsible tor #0 raJI oa/jhlor told him to scatter it thtwM lottory tickets, iirtd thojfcoyH, learning of this fact, took advaritagoof hlswedk-. linn un/l ivfMa hltiY " littlnM ! tiifrivmtii* new, and wrote hlttiv lottos informing him of his good luok In drawing a for tnhd, IrtcMsinij bogvfo chocks and driifts, which ho exhibited at tho bank. This Moroj to hate completely unsettled his mind, and ho now im*glae? himself a millionaire. The boys, who thoughf! only lo play a Joko, havo; iudcod mado i serious business of It, fad {ho frlond^l of tho tinforttinato vlotlm attribute to. thorn tho mum of his aberration.^ WaUeha (1)1,) TOta*. 1 ' 1 .. ^r^-'>t,!,to,'rAi,f,|%*k ww 40^'% I f f V *? ? *' Among tho latest ourlosillos in tho way of wells I* one fiear Byracuso, N.> pEyWhloh is frtrtlcd tho onntor oil wolV A sflom gathers on tho eurfaoo of tho watoe i^Uioh lo0k?, tastes and SOU like castor oil.. Doctors may sigh for this water, but children will not ory for ,iU I $$ oatplanatlon 4* ffWon for thojdie ^UOttlonOft;/iby tUOTByraou?e Standard,1 tho papor from which wo glean the aJ'iais?, men engugod in digging tno woll must, Mro iiruqic a snbtoirranoan drug store. oiipf, .th? T?rloua Om t? ' fe Old newspapers arc of woulct' appea&fet u first *ub$Qrlb# to tho . dully n oaiiso we musk be iufor yj ufTuita of tbo day. ? Then ,tho next thing 13 tcyruloi -tbo kltohon In order To pi' bo confessed that Bridj froo uso of tbom In that1 But they roi'vo 'so manj {inrposos besides thaVty so?? ot Bridget have full sway, may try to convince you tl possible to got Abo brjjak#*^' uvon using thoso.of CdovofylaU It has boon several times 8 by ooonomists that newspaper made to take tbo placo of bh guarding from cold, and ifc ?l woll worthy of nptieo tbo* beon pirovod Very satisfrtct lug light, oonvouionti ai coverings when others cab". Travelers would do well, to _, mind when fav from, tbo hotels, and .not throw tlwir p Of tho oar window, or leavo it, souk In changing oars, for telling how useful it nmy umorgonoy to ward olf ?<" vontlvo of that fatal dlsn uirtr a folded nowspapyt luii tho outer olothing acjo.33 tho '?tetdtabo Infallible. This has bueucoutirmcd to the \ by ilia testimony pf on ii " whoso avocations Kopt exposed to all weflthors, nl{ * IIo tvns a resident of a com I? ?iwv OVJ VJ j)on$ivo. or cftrk jar hi Icing light, Bolt, and ea? if you wiih to,,tflflE newspaper in oxo Ing one ?? ? ? ? pktf&ti} w turn HF iol roalnslh tho oarpot no tO tbo floorj thejr can * moved that HUvot thorn fn ^tnwr' iiyay,, dust woltififiiken.- otti, pquaUy*orvIa6able M)oaos afterward, Jo _ .Uenidoa tho legitimate one tho Hows of tho (lay. Woather strips ore now voraal, as troll ae double poeurlng warm*$6fI Lis the caaeft somo ?? fry hou^ 4|)dy: ate not pro'6t b?safer, ? $*"&lly fpldod oveiV; and$ Old nownpapers are then rubbod till cloav, tf>oy *Bory purpose inuoh totter than ' olotli, for thorn Is no lint t<i _ un?2osr??T. protection against mosqultoc Old newspapers a#o *a{Mtf S2 the. pas' pilKA; the vatfotia **?&*?* must find Intollootual prQll thotflfray.tlll tho time* olal^cin^ntoroB^Brp?t lSSawr,,rroo^;, gloomy apartments. Olgrtnito variety, to( illustrations iMfrteomle sketches, a traits ot pHi thoy continually o<iuc tftote and give Uvfc U aStofi\-~Uarptri iJagnr.r H Ctotee WH^tt Of! Jmfge, punish tenoe. :'iw county tho ougHito rjm "Ho# many had turn! ^ .. punished well eno ?^V!tr m$ms 'azrpL, '***&&? ? toft ML ind our ho jnipiote/innauni preservo n.littlo hold oven the polico ju?-' e anil oven the police jus aoro-nOt infrequent of gam-, on our minor bonohe? oto of^o oourtHonco a tain latent sympathy in tho proiecu Kot tlfcsomun;Sn4 uven ovWbo-. I surprised. Tho >e?tlUg the "bier can do to BjUiafv hi???" ?? ** al i roper in and cacortod to in tho neighborhood wbero telSrS' or Jd?C:uncortam, to , ^ ?pdo<Uly out of | ij)Bi jinniW^i ipmilett-wlil. crritory oh .tho globe. 1 ;h it is tho capl thOs^ofju?- I itt^OfctootwJtbstnn litilf oenWi .. 1 < mm ^understood. ~#euT J^rfc Tribunal; PowtftfKil itfodtolno. Mid "\ lias not tukoti h$t Sometimes, though, tho^fJToot of his ; moiUolnes must bo acknowledged. Sov oral days ago, an old ! negro who9o son fUHjfl jwei- fjako rM^eht '"a tl*a *? iV>r. Simoon, a man jvt " ^otfeofc harvest ol "olloVcs that there i ?""^svory J,~ M: JmctwL wHM flolan and with ah air ol mingled f nud nngor, oxolaimed: ' olo ecoun'vol anT hipporcrlt, : Mye6so'f^yor old Rattlesnake. He I ?^ *VAbodt two hour? artor ydr gin diet. 3'Wti j.i.u uld i?fin, nrteir a fow moment*' -i edyoatlon.;J rkansuw Tra*|l >; jthe JE ^lcnho'|f5?to brow It up to the aohment* of t&Ueaiilan to tho life of tie fofelatfieriw f' Off In, that boautitul bayfleld, oh this orlap #eptomber rooming the women ^vo?r th* same bright color* a* m?\ TaoHna gathered gOnslpfrom roturnod i|o ? t Uio oinplroi W. the Tho drOAsos of the are ehor't i'<t<l of tho brightest known W,tflo dyor'i art. lxmg Ijihlfit from etyher ?ldo 6f their mm , '.iullllpn tot ilnance and tboirroui clrclo K fcoblc hiv wova^niDUtt Tho only ono of theVanderbllte who quta any brilliant social tlguro U .lUra. Frederick Vande^lt Sho ia gay and enjoya tho world.^ - ?'She incurred tho displooauro of old man Billy," said a prominent N?w York society man to- ar/roportor, "lor being much older than Fred wbon she married him. But aho controls ami guidos her young husband1 and keeps him out of the scrapes the other boys havo got into." . s "Then thoro is a division in the fam ily?" "So far as Mrs. Fred is conccrncd. I-The old man doeau't like hor and she doesn't liko tho old man, and nolthoria ^backward in showing it." "Shetakos oharge of hor husband, you say?" ; *>Yoa, and manages All his money for him. Tho result is, he is tho" only buo of tho VandorbUta who hasn't' boon played for a auoker in Wall etreot. v1? "She must bo a.8mart woman?" , . "She la?you bet on it." -t. m "Then why does the old man dislike hor?" . "Booauso she's smarter. than he is . himself. Ho romombers that tho Com-. | modoro'8 tflfo was much oldor than ho, .and that sho led him, to fortune. . Bjlly objects to the fate that keeps the Vandei-bllta in leading-*t$Aga and lod | hround by the hose by women, hovr ovcr handscaio or accomplished, or smart." "But most of the mlllion&res traoo thoir auccosa bagk to thewiveaof the ?Cfifflpdera of thoir houses,' don't they?" it (h?y fcan ^hcjp it; ! same. Tb? Com-? lonoy attd savl slxponoe at a , mo/boforo .ho hnV bank, aTuilt; old John Jacob Asto^jW ageat offcis wifev wiio ft.d tact of tbo firm. ?he, iade rich by lhe?ik w\^ quoo .? oldor than ? - King MP ,e ?wooden.,, gh and dr fact struolc! itstrongefL__, * Wroto homo tW god instt wore kept fo|L. ...?,1 the saving of all injury * resulting to hOulth, shoes or stockings from stand ing in tho water." ;Tho faot was cor* root* tbo inferonoe or generalization was ludicrously wronj ?v .. There la a story told by thoonce very popular writer, Dr. John Moore, of a ilrronoh student in. Xondon who lodgod in tbo aamo house with a poor man . ill of fovor, and who was continually teased by. his nurso to drink, although Jiuito nauseated by the liquids sho off ered him. At last, when sho was moro >7 importunate than usual, he whUporod: "For hoavou'a aako, bring .mo a salt herring, and I will drink as rnnnh M V^n nlnnont" Tl" ?"? njuoh aa vdu ploaae!" The woman In dulged hfi?oquos^tho man porsplrod profusely and reoo^erod} tho ; Fienoh student insertod inhla noto-book this aphoriium*, "A salt horring oures an Englishman in hla fever/*' On his return to , J ranee ho prescribed the sante remedy fQr tho patlont in l??? JW. Tho ?tu<|(int inBOrtod'-'in herring oures an Englishman, it kills a CTonohman*" This may bo a satire uponvthat rapidity of &nerall*attoia for Which our French neighbors are re markablo. But, truo story or joke, it ? certainly illustrates the false mothod V'.&lw' ? :"f'{ * '.'*>?)!1>'> 1 ?. THo MoirrlbW Kasoo, ,^5S5-: V'1' ?"1 ?.< ?? - On last Monday a nice little boy pur. ohased ono/ ll|a fathor is a highly ro *onna Wodnosdny he oame h?ro u porfoot mental wrook^ffifr1' -ms m .old, nnd carried op so that I thought tboitld have to ?6nd for tho poliof am feulanco. From a neighbor I learned that the boy had (16rto |t ttlh He went but Into" the yard 8rst gad praotMKd., In a fo&tolnutos the Watoh-dok\%hioh tho noighbt* tafd.had a volco of won-' dorful power'and olasttflty at ? night was doa% It? spilt hla threat in A tain ortdoavor to equal the notos* of the ka zoo. Ab tho b6y kept on jpractiolng and struck now dboordi, the board* which composed tht? b*ok fence began to warp, and finally curled Up in agony while tho bonds of th^u^pcnttf 'imiU achedi The boy, afwr gottirig well up ih running tho sealed ontei ott ;4he house, and tho minds of tho family were w*eoked. The muu has sued for damagos, and says If ho la expelled from church It Will bo my fautt.?Ntto* ath Kws SU A Terrible Weapon of ttoftmae. tf a pompous wlsoaore uios to sit down on you, ask him rapidly a few questions like tho followlhgi What, if any, 1* the (lifference be tween kaiak and n-oaiqtfeF' What, if auy, fa the difference be? twoon Jacobins ahd Jaoobitost. What, If arty, tt the. difference ba twCon the ear of Dionysus aftd the ear Ot plonysipsf }:K -jj V Mow do you aofcont vagary, coterie, and suvveyp m-?M ? ? ?. KtfcHow do you pronounce pi otiouncla tlonP ?yv/What la the moaniug of tho phrftaa to "hum youf chtiokf". ifct1 ii* & Thdso questions will rnafco It peas ant for him<rr./?An Bwinton'i rap?r. EJ#? "s 1 Steam la eald to bo a better dUrnfeot tnb thar ?uIphurto$u>iT ga<7 E?a0 ntonmocl ; ?. mmmMmmasmsb . ila w ?| ?v|rv4WI trig Journal^M^, "The fVoek la a favor I to medium with persons In Great Britain, ,$hranoo, Ger many, and other countries for shipping presents to friends in thoUnited State* The Bonders do not thlpkof the duties to be paid whou thoy forward their packages, but under the Snstoms laws and regulations presents of merchant-, able value are classed as dntiablo, like goods imported in the regular vrjfy. Tradesmen in Lbndoo, Paris, Berlin, and other European capitals use the mails pretty freoly to sond samples and goods of small bulk to American cus tomers. "Ladles find an easy, cheap, and safe way of putting into letters. ?nd newspapers artiolos of fashion, knlok UtiacKH and momentoes from the old world. The malls are also used fos in tentional smngglingibut it Is some times dlffloutt 3o distinguish between smuggling and legitimate importations. Diamonds, watohee, the preokras stones and jewelry of all kinds are intercept ed by Mr. J. M. Wilson, of the post offloe bureau. Not long ago a pack age which was directed to a Maiden lane dlamond-doaler was found to oon tain several thousand dollars' worth of unout diamonds. He paid $800 duty on them. Hundreds of packages con taining oat's-eyes, rubies, cameos, in taglios, emeralds, and sapphires suffi cient to stook a good sized jewelry store are constantly received. "Laces, kid gloves, silk stockings, silk handkerchiefs, and other light art tiel03 are enolosed in newspapers and pamphlete. They are inclosed so that it Is nard to detect them. A pair of silver sardine tongs going to Callfpr nla was recently found hidden in a paokage of pfcmpblotS. In an English newspaper were discovered ladles silk stockings, ohe black and one red. Ac cording to the revonno law these might be taken as samples and entered free. A trick we* suspectod and the artloles were detained. Tho next steamer's ?mall oontained a newspaper addressed to the same person. In it were folded ono red and one black silk stocking to I matoh the others, rjh? lady tofwhom were addressed lived on, Murray iSho was sent for and-paid the yrajj advantago^-'of ' putting . through the postoffice ovor the regular way of importing is that no brokerage, Warehouse, cartage, or entry fees are required! Flashing Fire lrom his Hoarf-lMn. A11 voly young man with- a red mus taoho enterod a Nassau-street eating house yesterday and took a soat. He Wore a blaok nock-scarf,' into whloh was thrust an odd looking pin. A pretty Walter-girl citne up, ana while brush ing away the crumbs from behind the guost asked for his ordor. ?'You may bring me some Boston baked ?' The young woman did not bear the conclusion of the sentence, for a brill iant light Hashed from tho odd scarf pin and frightonod lior so muoh that she nearly fainted. The young man glanoed up with a look of mlla sur prise, and said: ?*Afo you faint?" The waitress hurried off to the kitohen. The bead of the house.-a man whose scanty gray hair and full board aro well known to,those who at tend the tip-town tomporanoo meetings Sunday -afternoons, then next ap proaohed. He put tho pepper bottle back In the caster, picked up a dough nut from tho floor, and was about to mako an observation upon the supe riority of bis squash pies, whon fire again flashed from the young man's Hoarf-pin. ??Wnat?wha?what is tho .matter tplth -your neok-tloP" he stuttered, looking at tho young man In a startled manner. "It was o:i tire Just now." "(), I guess that's all right," mur mured tho hit lor, with a smflo. ' "Any troublo with IfcnowP" ? "No, I can't see that there Is, but? The life again became luminous and shohe with a brilliancy never equaled by any diamond. "It> an oloctrio-llght on a small' scale," said the young man. "I hate a ilttle bftlmv In my pocket By press ing a button a currant of electriolty Is Conducted to the pin, which contains a small piocd of carbonlsod bamboo# and Ih6 light lr produced. Big thing, Isn't Y6rb Tribune* r Out In Xenla, <>., there is a bright lawyer. Thoro is a score of them, In toot, but this bright particular legal* star Is'Henry Warrington. I call him Hetfty Warrington bocauso that It not his name. Hi* real itnme appear) on the playbills of "Youth.*' welU the BeconA Adventlsts onhio to Xenla mm time arid the preachojMlId a power of street proaohlnj,;- One day Lawyer Warrington Stopped to listen to him {tut at ft lime When he wm wanted In oourt, and a bailiff oame to the window to oall 4lm. The proaeher was lull ihrleklng: "And who will be damnedf Who wlu be damned?" Roared out the ittatotlan tones of the bailiff over the way? ''Henry Warrington I Henry War* ringtoni" And Henry only aald he Would be If he was. Only he didn't ?ay it Just that way.?/?. J. HurdUiU. ? I 1 nil ? II .1. . V A Boston lady, who la now in New Orleans, went by the way of tho river to the Kxposltlon. On tho boat wss a party of four young girls and ft matron, all strangers. One of the yoi K7.o<1 eArnostly at the Boston on aald: "Please exonso me,madam, but what 1* the baiue of the shawl yot? hare onPM "It Is an India shawl." ??And what did It oost?" "About #6.* 000." "Madam, will yon be so Jtlutt aa to let mo show It to my o< ihpanlonf Nolther thoy nor % have ever seen An India shawl beforVV' lady kindly agreed and the gUw were made happy. ?New (Mean$ Picayune. . . Mexican chamber "maids" are, It la .^5^1,1?In<n.0 boy. twill W& Httk' daughter It obtldl ever know, said om WiOtber, adding nlruost "to* an only child. ^i)ld joo ever notioe the e horror that run? through whon a would-bo funny roan gets I, ? orlpUlo a oomlo sodg i' -FaU Ritxr Ad vance. A llttlo 4-yoar-old vrhlhs coming down ?tain was.cautioned bj his fond mamma not to low his balance. "And where Tno7iir"?M go t0"h0 . Poverty has lta cares, niy son. but thou wealth jias Its scares too, than poverty, ten to one. Look at the panic* on the money* market 'amy weekl Did you ever hear of * financial ^anlc in an akns?houseP ? Brooklyn V Landlady?"Do you find your t tender. Mr.Dumby? If not twill?" Dumby (who was wakened at 5 o'clock that morning by the cook pounding)?? "Er?It might bo woll to let tt^Mioik C hit it a few more timet, I th!Bfc.rW New York Sun. "So Mr. Blank was heft to-day?" Servant?yYos, sir.** "And" you told him what I said, I suppose P" "Yea, sir." "Did ho take umbrage?"? ''?75 "? didn't notioe, air: but if ho did he'll bring it bapk. He'a a very particular ; gentleman, you know." This unoomplimontary but oharaotor istio epitaph W Burns haa Just been found in Dumfries: Beneath these soda Ues drunken Bhodei, what ne'er *aa kenned to drink oauld water, like olaok o' mill the whisky gQl inspired hia tongue wi' endless clatter. A very fearful aootdent occc gentleman while leaving the Denlson. His pocket was -1 $17.60. The sickening featc aooident la to bo found in-the the money was Intended for ? ohaso of a bonnet for his wifo^s-V A oollar and a1 ne " boon invented by a That's well enough; buL-lf to work and invent a C provont hia baok co wandering off when It he will do mankind ni Borb. r .Those people oomi olrolo of what terms t bea?!iin(llino*t bov.whaTaStttlin' this mor?in*? yes, Fitanbod, dotwaln me. i'm'hardaYwork. ~Thls is tho bttslost neason of tho year to me." "By Jove. OWwlev,.Whlf are yovffdo in' P" "I'm dodgfn' my creditors,"? Philadelphia Call? ? ?aw your advertisement for a young man of goodaddresfc" remark* i ed one of the applioants for a vacant position, "and I thought I would oalTtn and roply. My address la Boston! Mass., and if that isn $ as good at the beat I should like to know where yon yjj1 tind a bettor one."?Burlington (Fl.) Free l'rcas. a Dookraaker witnessos in the street the accidental death of. an acquaint*' anoe. He seta off to break the news to the widow. Ho Is oharged not to tell hortoo abruptly.1 At tho house ho aike^ for "Mmo. Widow X." "I am^litno," X;V aB^? tho lad?> "bMk I ant not a : widow." "Would you like to bet on It?" rosponds the bookmaker.?Wafted from France. ? v v;i| It was Just aftor the tiff. "I wondor," snarled Borneo, "if we shall know each other in heaven." "I'll remember you, of oourse," replied Juliet, With -tender emphasis, "but of oourse I couldn't knowyou without meeting you." And,: a period of sllenoe as long as a centen nial poem orept in the rootoi. > Komoo ? kept thinking about one thing and a% other aud one thing and anothwt'aud ?) one thing and ano&er.<^?tftti#af. Df. Oarver finished his task of hitting 60,000 balls in six days. The achieve ment has had no perceptible efTeot Upon business as yet, The doo^r used '#y rifle In hitting the balls. If he had corraled the balls Into a pile and used a baseball club or a brick he might# have hit them all in One day and had five days to spare to devote to digging oellar ot sawing wood or something/ that way. But we don't suppose ho ever thought of that.?Nonrittown&tr old. C-Hudaott tells a story about Mr. Tildon: "One day he said to hit/ physician, 'Doctor, I can't stand that medloino you ate giving me; It hurts 'my etonrach.' O, but Mr. Tifden, tho medloino la doing a great deal of good? ?I presume so, but I shell not tako It oourse I would warn j/ou earnestly that you must stop using it gradually/ ?You doctors don't know anything. I qu 1: using that medicine thfe^tfeek* Youthful Inquirer.?A statesman la l ono who ntftton; and the Speaker la 4,-jfl man who sits In a high ohalr In front of the statesman, and 3o6l<les who ihall state and who shall not state. The Speaker la provided with a mallet and* loose board: and, when a statesman pta& too long or state* aujrthlnf' I derogatory to the pnrtt U?.#hloh the Speaknr belongs, it is t&e duty of ftfe latter to pound vlgoroui mallet on the Board,' The likes to hurt the statesman's feeling, hut he has to do his duty.?CWtom&wa Dinprtic.h. ?'Hi* chloral habit," says the Balti more VntUrviriUr, "Is steadily on lnorease,not only among sufferers from oonstant Insomnia, but jtutong persona ?ubJeottettilMer form of;*iW&* to* tatton, to the attAjfo and exoltemijKk <4 speculative tfVcures, or to thewear and tear ol Yale hours and fashtoftablt dissipation. This nepenthe la i yvtaotlr* to people of refinement the Juloe of the poppyr^li surrender to Ita domination Is 1 to break than the opium habit. nsnat questions In <$ho applloa life insuranoe aa to the use ' sloohollo drinks, t may well be add KMsWmawz