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BY JULIAN A. SELBY. Tiltok, Bescher and Bowen.?"These three, nnd the greatest of those is" which? The story is told of ft clergyman who hud three pots; n monkey, n parrot and a .squirrel. These three he imprudently left, on one occasion, shut up in his libra? ry. "When he returned he found that the monkey's hide was full of holes, which had evidently been bitteu there; the squirrel had lost his tail, and the parrot, having been pick alive, was perched on the back of a chair as the master en? tered, to whom he remarked by way of explanation of the condition of affairs, "we've had a hell of a time." The'editor of a Troy (N. Y.) paper is clearly a bachelor. A lady, with a baby in he r arms, got up to leave; a street ear, and the editor saw something white be-* come dislodged from the lady's lap and fall to the lloor. Ho might have known that it was one of those thingumys, but he didn't. lie grabbed it, and shrieked to the young mother that she had lost her handkerchief, and then, discovering that it was a thingamy, and not a hand? kerchief, ho dropped it on the lloor. and left the conductor to carry it to its owner. w Despair settles upon the Southern o'utrnge shriekor and the bloody shirt shaker. As they hear the cheers which Boston gives so heartily to its Southern visitors, they feel like exclaiming, with the toy balloon merchant who felt the string which held his propertv slip from his hand and saw the whole concern sailing serenely towards the clouds, "By tarn, dero goer, my pizness!" A Celestial attended prayer mooting at uno of the churches the other night, and sat directly in front of several small boys. John was observed to suddenly move out, wearing a very grave countenance. Somebody at tho door asked him what was the matter, and elicited the reply, "Too muchce pinchec, heap needle, hell, damn."? Xaah ville Banner. The St. Louis City Council has passed a very effective ordinance for the suppres? sion of the social evil in that city. If its exactions are rigidly enforced, that phase of wickedness will be entirely extinguish? ed. A copy of the ordinance should be freelj- circulated among tho civil author? ities of all the large cities of tho lamb "Gen. Grant was not drunk atShiloh," says Gen. Sherman; "I have never seen him drunk on the field of battle." And there Sherman paused; but if he had continued to speak a fow moments longer, the world might have learned just where he had seen him drunk. "When a woman is care-laden and heavy-hearted, nothing shakes the me? grims out of her quicker than for a cou? ple of ladies to stop in front of the house long enough for her to examine the trimmings on their bonnets. C. F. JACKSON, The Leader of Low Prices, IS selling tho best ?l cts. Calico; the best 10 and V21 cts. Bleached Home? spun; tho l"?st Vow York Mills and WauisnltnHomespun, at 15 cts.; (hobest 25, 35 and 40 cts. Black Alpaca; the best 10, 15 and 20 cts. Embroideries; the best White Piques, at 10j| cts.; the 1>est Rib? bons, at 25 cts.; the best Dress Goods, 121 ets.; the best Shirt Fronts, at 25 cts., ,.nd the very best BARGAIN COUNTER full of the best bargains in all kinds of Goods. June 20 THE GREAT SENSATION IKT DRY GOODS STILL IN FULL 15 LAST ! mO-MORROW (Monday) the BARGAIN X COUNTERS will be bountifully re? plenished with a new, fresh line of goods, and will be kept up during the week. Beautiful DRESS GOODS at 10c; worth 25 and 50c. lft pieces Plain White LINEN LAWN, at 29c; worth 40c'.' 15 pieces Fancy LINEN LAWN, at 20 and 25c ; worth 40 and 50c. 5 pieces BLACK GRENADINE, at 25c.; worth 50c. ;i cases New Style PRIKTS, at ?1 and 1 case 4-4 American PUCALE, at 10c, tvst colors. 15 pieces Scotch TWEEDS, at 25c; vorth 50c. 10 pieces Brown LINEN DRILL, at 2;v.; worth 50c l eise each Wamsutta and New York Mils MUSLIN, at 15c. '. case each Androscroggan and Fruit of Uoui MUSLIN, at 12Ac lcr.se Hill's Semper Idem MUSLIN, at Da l :ane 10-4 Pepperell Bleach SHEET? ING at 37;. c 3.al.s I-1 Fine Brown SHEETING, at 9c Lalies', Men's and Misses' BOOTS and SHO*S, from 40c upwards. Thl above "STARTLING PRICES" represent only a few of the GREAT BARGAINS that will be offered to reduce stock. Now is your time to buy a good 4eal f(r little money. W. D. LOVE & CO., Grrad Central Dry Goods House, dune 27 Columbia. S. C. DAILY 'Let our Just Censures columbia, s. c, friday morning-, .Jl The symptoms or Liver CouiplainUarc nucasiucss und pain in the side. Some tiuies the pain is in the shoulder, niid is mistaken for rheumatism. The stomach is affected with loss of appetite and sick? ness, bowels in general costive, and sometimes alternating with lax. The head is troubled with pain, an 1 dull, heavy sensation, considerable loss ol memory, accompanied with painful sen? sation of having left undone something which ought to have been done. Often complaining of weakness, debility and low spirits. Sometimes many of tie above symptoms attend the disease, and at other tim< s, v< ry few of th< m: but the Liver is gem rally the organ mo d in? volved. TAKLE ' LIVER For all Diseases of the Liver, Stomacli anil Spleen ! IT is evidently a Family Medicine, and by being kept ready for im? mediate resort, will save many an hour of suffering, and many a dollar in time and doctors' bills. After forty years' trial, it is still receiving the most unqualified testi? monials of its virtues from persons of the highest character and re? sponsibility. Eminent physicians commend it as the most EFFECTUAL SPECIF! C for Constipation, Headache, Pain in the Shoulders, Dizziness, Sour Stomach, bad taste in the Mouth, Bilious Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Pain in the region of the Kidneys, Despondency. Gloom and forebodings of evil; all of which are the offspring of a diseased Liver. If you feel Dull, Drowsy, Debilitated, have frequent headache, Mouth tastes badly, poor Appetite and Tongue Coated, you are suffer? ing from Torpid Liver, or "Biliousness, ' and nothing will cure you so speedily and permanently. The Liver, the largest organ in the body, is generally the seat of the disease, and if not Regulated in lime, great suffering, wretchedness and DEATH will ensue. Armed with this ANTIDOTE, all climates and changes of water and food may be faced without fear. As a reinedv in MALAltlOUS FEVERS, BOWEL COMPLAINTS, RESTLESSNESS. JAUNDICE. NAUSEA, the Cheapest, Purest and Best Family Medicino in the World! "I have never seen or tried such a simple, efficacious, satisfactory and pleasant remedy in my life."?H. Haine?, St. Louis. Mo. ' "I occasionally use, when my condition requires it, Dr. Simmons' Liver Regulator, with good effect."?Hon. Ai.ex. H. Stevens. "Your Begulator has been in use in my family for some time, and I am persuaded it is a valuable addition to the medical science."'?Gov. J. Giij. SuonTEn, Alabama. "I have used the Begulator in my family for the past seventeen years. I can safely recommend it to the world as the best medicine I have ever used for that class of diseases it purports to cure."?H. F. Thwpen. "Simmons' Liver Begulator has proved a good aud eftiencious medi? cine."?C. A. Nutting," President of City Bank. "We have been acquainted with Dr. Simmons' Liver Medicine fe-ir ? more than twenty years, and know it to bo the best Liver Regulator offered to the public."?M. R. Lyon and II. L. Lyon. Druggists, Belle fontnine, Ga. SIMMONS' LIVER l^GTJLATOR. For DYSPErSTA, CONSTIPATION, JAUNDICE. BILIOUS AT? TACKS. SICK HEADACHE. COLIC, DEPRESSION OF SPIRITS, SOUR STOMACH, HEART BURN, Ac., Ac. It ?fxss ITNTq EcL\ial. Is a faultless Family Medicine, Does not disarrange! the system. Is sure to cure if taken regularly, Is no drastic violent medicine. Docs not interfere with business. Is no intoxicating beverave, Contains the simplest ami best renn dies. CAUTION. Buy no Powders 01 Fr REGULATOR, unless in our engmved Stamp and Signature unbroken. None other is genuin* Jan 30 twfimn ' J. H. ZEILIN & CO., Macon, Ga., and Philadelphia. ?paved. S1XIMOVS" LIVER wrapper, with Trade Mark, a o o H CD p Manufactured by HOLMES, CALDER & CO., Proprietors. Ofllco 203 East Bay street. Fi.ctory comer Cumberland and Philadelphia street-*, Oliarloston, S*. O IMPORTERS and dealers in Lubricating and Paint OILS. WINDOW GLASS and PAINTERS' MATERIAL. Agents for Averill's Chemical Paint. Prince's Mettdic Paint, Rubber and Leather Belting. Fi t? 2i) Bitno The Alabama Gold Life Insurance Company, of Mobile! C. E. THAMES, President; T. N. FOWLER, Secretary: Gen. S.D. LEE, Superintendent of Agencies. Assets $750,000 in Gold. CAPITAL STOCK 9200,000 GOLD ALL PAID IN. SURPLUS AS TO POLICY-HOLDERS OVER $-10(>,000 GOLD. GOLD OR CURRENCY POLICIES ISSUED ! ASOUTHERN COMPANY,;keeps and lends its Money in the South. Since chartered, its dividends have varied from 17 to 27 per cent. May 15 \V. II. GlBIiHS. Agent. PH<E] Attend the True Event." JLY 2, 1S75. YO Whib and i Vdnred. MOSQUITO BARS, Whit'..- . ud Colored. MOSQUITO METS, White and Colored. Made on LATEST IMPROVED PATENT. 1'ixtun : nil ready for bunging up. Ilfeld "I AAA LATEST Styles LADIES L.VM f\ 1 and CHILDREN'S STRAW 11ATS, only FIFTY CENTS EACH. JONES, DAVIS & BOUXNIGHTS, Successors to R.'C. Shiver A Co. ?Tune 13_ New Fresh Goods at J. H. KINARD'S LARGE assortment of rich and beauti? ful DRESS GOODS. The styles and patterns of PRINTS are numberless in variety, and every de? partment of his large establishment has neon replenished with accessions re? freshingly seasonable and accommodat? ingly priced. The Millinery Department Is superbly stocked. /E?t~Mr. Kinard invites a call. Millinery OF the LATEST STYLES; also, Ladies' and Children's SUITS of all sizes and qual? ity, UNDERWEAR, COR? SETS, HAIR and FANCY GOODS. Just received, a largo assortment of Wenck's PERFUMERY, at \pril 25 _ MRS._C. E. REED'S. Wine List?May, 1876! % THE "CITY HALL GRO CERY STORE" ?fters, as be? low specified, the finest Wim List ever published in Co lumbia: CLARETS St. Estephe. St. Julian, j Margaux, Pontet Canet, in pints and quarts. HOCKS Laubenheiiaer. llnckhoiinrr, Dudesbeinier. SAUTERS' ES Hanl Sauterncs. Graves A. Pi'oignuc, Latour lilancdi, Chateun Yquem. CHAMPAGNES i -aim. i v A Greno's Lee. decidedly tin- linesl dry Wine im? ported. Obaus A* Unchatef's "Sillery," C:irt.- Blanche, K< Hv Island, Ac. SHERRIES AN1 > PORTS -These of line quality, ago und bouqw t. full stock, most carefully selected. My slock of French brandies. Holland Gin, California Wim s and Brand ir-s. Do? mestic Whiskies, '?Maryland," "Raker," "Finch," "Bomgarden, and other favor? ite brands, is always full 11)?. I have always cnd< avored to keep this branch of my business sup]died only with best possible qualify obtainable, and am fully satisfied with the result. Any rare Wine qp particular brand not here advertised, will be procured from firs! hands at verv f< w days' notice. " GKO. SYMMERS, City Hall Grocer and Wine Merchant Mackerel. CHOICE MESS MACKEREL. No. 1. 2 and :t MACKEREL. Just opened and for sale low, at retail, by .JOHN AGNEW A SON. California and Imported Wines, ^Liquors, Etc. JUST received, direct from 'California, a carload of supe? rior WINESand BRANDIES, 'made of delicious grapes in that highly favored country. Best Imported Scotch WHISKEY, Old Jamaica RUM, Holland GIN, Otavd and other brands BRANDY, Sherry, Fort and Madeira WINES. I am also manufacturing that superior LAGER REER,] for which my brewery lias acquired such a doservi d re? putation. Give, it a trial- it is pure and warranted free from any deleterious in? gredients. Physicians recommend iL m < Also, best brands Imported and ?*?ari$ Domestic CIGARS, Smoking and *"?**Chewing TOBACCO, Ac. My SALOON is supplied with tho best of everything. LUNCH every day, at 11 o'clock, Give me a call, at the sign of the big barrel, Nos. MM and 1(1(1 Richardson street. JOHN C. SEEGERS. LUME XI?NUMBER sg" IriNAitn & Wiley-?To patrons h\ f~\ \. arolina for their liberality: Wo V Indeed thank you for buying / \ . ur line rcndy-uiudc Clothing, \J "VTcckwi-'iir, Undor-wcar, cheapest, "T* JA argest stock ever in the citv, JiJ And we believe best, tor we Bell TT nion Adams' Black Silk Ties, U Kussian HrnccK,Suspcndcrs. Shirts"]* If adcspccialty, good tit: guaranteeAtJL Durability, elegance, comfort to "T> uy< r. The Quak? r City and _13 ^Star Shirts are all the go, and X n Silk, Linen,Gingham Umbrellas a Tlfe claim to sell at less profit a good A TT rticlctbannnyhouseintketradcxjL In line, ready-made Clothing, our O tylo and ]>rice is uncqunlcd. ? IO Linen Cull's,llandkerchiefs.Collars:/' \ ur stock can't be surpassed. \_) ITWegnncc, style and fashion. Hats in li assimcrc, Silk, Straw, Felt,Wool.\J "\/""ouths'Clothing,Shirls,Hats,Caps, A HEN'S, YOUTHS^ AND CHILDREN'S CLOTHING AND HATS, FOB ? OF IST9 Now in store, and to bo sold at low prices. K, & W. G. SWl ^ Spring Clothing! h |> Spring Glothing! ? h Spring Clothing! Just opened The Largest and Jiost Stock Ever seen here, AT D. EPSTIN'S, UNDER COLUMEIA HOTEL. STYLES. New and Handsome: FABRIC and DESIGN. Elegant! BEST MAKE IHM PRICES, Lower than ever! Very full lines of Bovs' and Youths' CLOTHING. FURNISHING GOODS and 11 ATS. Call and exaniin? at April l Under Columbia Hotel. Who feeds nie from his grocery stow. And shows me every day a score Of dainties, liner than before? 'Tis Solomon. Groceries, Family. Supplies, Pure Liquors, Wines, &e. Whose clerks are smiling, childlike, bland, And always at my service stand Attentive to my least command? Why, Solomon's. Breakfast Strips, Beef Tongues, Sal? mon Bellies, Fulton Market Beef, Canned Goods and Other Delicacies. j Who care's for no man's smile or frown, While he can keep his prices down. I Yet sells the finest goods in town? 'Tis Solomon. A Splendid Assortment of New Cof? fee and Teas-Japan, Oolong, Gun? powder, Hyson, Imperial and Mixed And can I over cease to be The best of customers to thee, Who always did so well by me. Oh, Solomon? Fancy Crackers, Raisins, Nuts, New Flour and Buckwheat. I'll keep to the store I like so well, 'Neath Mr. Gorman's bis hotel. And kopt by Hardy S-O-L O-M-O-N. tfs?-Prices still lower, and goods fresh every day. April 9