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B The fi?kcr p?d the billi,1 C The Cmrateatoqm^h????. D The Doctor brought bia pill?. , E The Egg-man made tho custard, F I Th* Fiddler played the viol, G Tho Groooribrought *ho mustard, H Tho Hatter showed hie tile. 'he Indian dancod fito dbw, " o Juggler twirled tho balls, ."e fcitcVu-mald was busy, Tho Ladies filled tho halla. M Tho Milkman came and yelled ont, N The Nara? abe laughed with glee, O The Oyster-dealer shelled out, P The Printer carno to BOO. Q The Qaakcr seemed quite sober, K The Reporter looked obtuso, S The Sailor half-seas Over, T Tho Tailor brought his goo?". U Tho Union soldier shouted, V The Villain slunk away, W The Watchman was routed, X The Excise man took pay. Y The Yeoman tossed tho babies, (A painful sight to aee,) ?J The Zany teased the ladies, A This Soiree broke up at three. THE AGONIES OF A IV ANOI.KK. BY JOHN QUELL. This thing of goiog n fishing and call? ing it sport is ridiculons. Old Isaac Walton was a deceiver, and his "Com? plete Angler" is calculated to pervert public monde, and lead the unsuspecting stray. In my opinion it's nn over-rated book, nnd ought to bo suppressed. It encourages the idea that fishing is a gen? teel pastime, which affords time for meditation, and cnltivates a love for tho beautiful in nature. That this is all nonsense every man knows who ever went a fishing in bin life. I leave it to the sufferers if it isn't. Don't you know that you go out and nearly burst a blood vessel digging worms for bait, and then you have to dig a hole ns big as a rifle-pit before you can lay your hands on one solitary worm? . Then when you get to the water you very likely sit down on some blackberry bush or other, und undergo nearly as mach physical sufferings as you do when yon stick the fish-hook into your entiele when you are trying to put the bait on.. When you once throw in, you begin to watch the oork, and you look at it hour after boor, until you nearly go blind, and yon think you see about twenty corks, and as it uever budge? une inch all the time, you conclude that there ain't any fish about, until you pnll up, when you find that some well-balanced and insidious member of tho finny tribe bas sucked all your bait off. After enough patient endurance to start eight or nine Christian martyrs into life, yon get a nibble. Yes, the cork moves slightly, and you think you are at last going to get a fish. 'You wutoh it elosely, while your mind rans over the big fish you have heard of. You think of Jouab, of whaling voyages, and of the sturgeons you have seen around on the wave. Perhaps this is one of large size, and you wonder if you hadn't better go nome and get a dray to fetch it. Supposes you were to catch the sea serpent or a thousand-pound snapper! and you involuntarily suggest soup to yourself, while nil the time the cork keeps bobbing np and down, until at last she gives one jerk and goes under. Got him, by George! Pull up, and there is a wretched little fish on the hook, that wouldn't satisfy the appetite of a sick sardine, and be cost you just fourteen worms-enongb to bait a ,-chool of mack? erel. Throw in again, wait for an hoar, and you don't got a single nibble. Then you think you are safe to let go and light your pipe. No sooner do you :?et the match, and you can't throw it down because it's tho last one you've got, than yon get a splendid bite; the cork goes clear out of sight, and before yon have a chance to pick up the rod the fish gets off. Any man who says this isn't aggravat? ing ought to die; he isn't fit to associate with ordinary human beings. But you try to encourage yourself by saying that while there's life there's hope, and that perseverance aud patience jvereome all things, and by getting off a lot more of old second class falsehood, and throw in nguiu. Wait for several centuries, if you cal? culate according to your sufferings, and never get any bites but one on tho calf of your leg from a sixty-legged spider, who has been on an exploring expedition up your pantaloons. Then you pull out and spit on the bait for Inok; may be you blow on it, if you i'.re superstitious, and you throw in and get a bite. Yon pull up seve? ral hundred times and never catch bim. Then you get mad; you bolieve it is an eel, aud you swear to catch that eel or die. You feel that life will be perfectly joyless and destitute of happiness unless you get a chance to put yonr grip on that eel. At last you booked him and drew him oat. He is active and playful and'viva? cious. Ho is a wriggler, and combines himself into letters ? and 0 and X, and mn? through the alphabet generally, and slaps you in the face, aud gets around your logs, and covers you all over with slime. Then he tangles your lino into a hard knot, and when you get your foot on him you find he has swallowed the book, and jost ns likely as not yon've got to rip that eel clear open, from head lo tail, to get it out, and when you <lo ho will -lTMlf'\ xl ff XA Til' wriggle awu}from*you'aud annoy you M long as yon stay there. Eels never die:, immortality is their strong point, ona~ they lay themselves out to make yon abjectly miserable. When you get all straightened out and throw in again you wait for an hour, hoi you only* get' about one first-class bite during that time.. You pull up and von have -on an enormous fish, and before ?rou get him near the ah ore he quickly eta go his hold and drops bnok again into his native element. It is rough on you, I admit, but when you go a fishing you've got to take it as it comos without growling. There is a kind of subdued melan? choly about it-a regretful disappoint? ment that it is pleasant. How interesting it is when yon have dropped the last one off, and you get another bite, to make up your mind to get this one anyhow, and then to con? centrate all your strength, and pull up with a violent jerk, and sling your line back on to a tree, and have it wind around the branches as tight as if it had been pulled by a eteam engine, and in such a bewildering condition that you can't get it loose io a week. This is calculated to make you URO hard expressions, but not nuy more so thu . it is to have your cork drawn under gently and steadily, and go down, down, down, until it is oui ol sight. "A catfish, most probably," you say; "they always pull in this manner." You draw your lino in gently, and tho catty tugs at the other end. "They always do this," you observe. You pull up slowly, GO as to keep him on the hook, nud when you get your line ont, you most probably find an old snng, with moro branches than tho Pennsylva? nia Railroad, and covered with mud, nud not a solitary fish in the neighborhood; while nil the timo there is a boy, with a pin-hook and nn old hank of twine, who is catching them so fast that ho can't bait his hook, and tho ground is white with them all around him. I don't advocate violent language; but if there ever is an occasion when the ten commandeuts aro temporarily suspended, thiri is it. A.man is legally entitled to relieve his pent-up feelings, and the moro so be? cause when he gets up to go home ho finds that his fish-hook has caught him by the shirt, and that there is a puddle deep enough to float a canal boat, just where he has boen sitting. Of course you can't go home without fish, to be laughed at; so you go over and try to buy them of the boy, who not only tries to insult you, by asking you if you "ketched any?" but feels that he has yon in his power, and makes you pay moro money than you could buy out a whole oyster-sloop for. No; I don't see any sport in it; and if I wanted to make a man utterly wretch? ed; if I wanted to hurt his feelings, and break down his spirits, and ruin his mo? rals, I would get him to go a fishing about onco a week. I approve of abo? lishing penitentiaries" and jails, and mak? ing convicts fish for the benefit of tho State. DRUGS, AND CHEMICALS. FIS U ER-&?"?T?lNITSIif r>R.ua Gr i sTs, OFFER FOB SALE . a LABOE STOCK of choico Drugs, Chemicals and Sundries, at Low Prices, at Wholesale and Retail, CALOMEL, MORPHIA, CASTOR OIL. QUININE, OPIUM, EPSOM SALTS. SUP. CARB. SODA, BLUE STONE. TURPENTINE. KEROSENE OIL. PATENT MEDICINES, ALCOHOL. PROPRIETARY ARTICLES, and wholesale agente for HEINJTSH'S QUEEN'S DELIGHT. Fresh Supplies. DUTCH HERRINGS, Fresh Country and Mountain BUTTER, Pink-Evo and Peach-Blow Planting Potatoes, Fine Goshen CHEESE, at G. DIERCKS, Jan 23 At the Sign of the Wat ch. Light! Light!! Light!!! SAFETY and Economy combined, by using the ORESOF.NT GAS GENERATOR and ORESCENT Gib. This Oil is-non-explosive and give? a brilliant light, without tho use of lamp-chimneys, or the- trouble of cleaning them. Kerosene Lamps altered to uso the Crescent Oil and Oas Generator, at a trifling expense. For further information and a sun ply of Crescent Oil and Gas Genorator, apply to J. Sc T. R. AGNEW. WANTED-AOENTH-To nell tho Ameri? can Kui! ting Machine. Price $25. The simplest, cheapest and beat Knitting Machine ever invented. Will knit 2(),C00 stitches per minuto. Liberal inducements to agonts. Ad? dress AMERICAN KNITTING MACHINECO., Boston, Mass., or St. Louis, Mo. May 293mo WANTED-AGENTS-$75 to $200 per month everywhere, male and female, to introduce tho Genuine Improved Common Sense FAMILY SEWING MACHINE. This machino will stitch, bom, fell, tuck, quilt, cord, bind, braid and embroider, in a most superior manner. Prioo only $18. Fully warranted for fivo years. Wo will pay $1,0C0 for any mach ute that will sew a stronger, more beautiful, or moro elastic seam than ours. It makes thc "Elastic Lock Stitch." Every second stitch eau bo cut, and still tho cloth cannot bo pulled apart without tearing it. Wo pay agents from $75 to $200 per month and expenses, or a com minsion from which twice that amount can he made. Address SECOMB fe CO., Pittsburg, Pa., Ht. Louis. Mo., or Boston, MaBs. CAUTION.-Bo not bo imposed upon by other parties palming off worthless cast-iron machines, under the samo name or otherwise. Ours is the only genuine and really practical cheap machine manufactured. May 29 Bmn Sardines ! Sardines ! ! IAfiA "AbF BOXES ?.\npiNES, al . \ t\ t\J 30 cents per box by retail. 1,000 Quarter Boxes Sardinea.'at 25 cents per box by retail. For salo by May 20_J. fe T. R. AGNEW. Para Corn Whiskey. ?\(\ Ubi.S. Pure Corn WHISKEY, for salo ??\f low to dealers. E. ft G. D. HOBE, May 1 Agents Old North State Distillery. T71YERYB0DY wb6 bas usc for a PUMP M?dftS^F^irE B^GINE, DEEP WELL, and FORCE PUMP 8end for a circular. POOLE A HUNT ~\W???*i***:''i ' ; baltimore. MafytonW. Family Supplies. -Z-a CHOICE GUEEN AND BLACK -?4 TEAS, Ml H ^ canoa Italian Maeewoni, ;i|B Yoong America ;md Cutting ?H* Cheeto, Froab Country Butter, Primo Leaf Lard, Extra Family Flour-in baga and barr?la.. Hocker's Self-Raising FJour, ' Zr Baker's Chocolate and Cocoa, Superior Cider aud White Whie'Yin'ejjar,*. Java, Laguara and Rio.Coffees, -'. Orange Sugar-cured Hams, Breakfast Bacon aud Country Cured Hams, Jeffreys* and McEwen's Scotch Ales, Barclay A Perkins' London Porter, Catawba Wino and Cha. inagno, Heidsiek Champagne and Claret, All fresh, and for salo low bv Juno 4_E. & Q. D. HOPE. Pocket Corn Sheller. SHELLS 6 buahela of corn por hour. A pmull boy oin can use them. Any lady can nee them. * " -ixht 1 pound. They supply a want long noeuod. Will wear always. Takes every kernel off tho cob. Trico, onfv $2. April 28_J. A T. R. AG^NEW_ Arrivals. PURE CIDER VINEGAR, for table and pickling purposes, tho same quality which my customers have heretofore pronounced '.tue best wo have ever used." Whito Wino Vinegar-warranted. Orange Brand HAMS-abo ve commendation. Bologna Sausagea, Dessicated Codfish. For Bale by GEO. SYMMERS. June 1 BOlSA?ALI? Purifies the Blood. For Salo by I?rueT?-S*t? IOver^rwliert;. Claret and Cider. 1CA8K TABLE CLARET on draught, Champagne Cider on draught, Stock of \\INES unusually full, from com? mon to finest crades, and offered at ver- ' ^w pricea by OED. SIMMERS. South Carolina Eailroad Company, GENERAL SUI T'S OFFICE, APRIL 9,18C9. taJbtS- THE following Sche Jt9C5Bsuole for "Passenger Trains will be observed from this dato: DAY PASSENGER THAIN". Leaving Columbia at.7.45 a. m. Arriving at Columbia at. 6.10 p. m. NIGHT EXPRESS TRAIN. Leaving Columbia at.5.50 p. m. Arriving at Columbia at. 4.45 a. m. CAMDEN THAIN. Will runMondaya, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Arriving in Columbia at.11.00 a. m. Leaving Columbia at.2.20 p. m. April 10 H. T. PEAKE, General Bnp't. C. & S. C. and C. & A. Eailroad Co's. SUPT'S OFFICE, COLUMBIA, April 10, 1869. Sm ?pg rjagMMfa PASSENGER Trains ^BbaSbgWI TH? * will run as follows: OOINO NOHTH. Leave Augusta, at. 7.40 a. m. " Columbia, 8. C., at. 1.25 p.m. Arrive at Charlotte, N. C. 8.10 p. m. COMINO sou TB. Leave Charlotte, N. C., at.5.50 a. m. " Columbia, 8. C., at.12.50 ? Arrive at Augusta.6.15 p. Through Ticketa on sale for principal points North aud South. Baggage checked through. Cloaeconnectiona made North and South.. Juno 28 CALEB BQUKNIGHT, Bop't. THE GREAT THROUGH ROUTE, CAUnYINO THE United States Mail and Adams Express. 49- FOR THE KOKTH-ti NORTH CAROLINA RAILROAD in direct line to Petersburg, Richmond, Portsmouth Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York aud Boston. ALSO, To the North-west and West, via Raleigh, Charlotte, Columbia and Bay Lino. ThiB ia a aafe aud expeditious route for Through travel. THROUGH TICKETS sold at: New Orleans, Charleston, Richmond, Mobile, Montgomery, Columbia, Portsmouth, Macon, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Charlott (, Augusta, Petersburg, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Atlanta, Now York, Greensboro. Louisville, Raleigh, Salisbury, ARE GOOD ON THIS ROUTE. St. Louis, Tho North Carolina Railroad connects with tho Wilmington and Weldon Railroad, Raleigh and Gaston Railroad, Richmond and Danville Railroad, Western North Carolina Railroad, Charlotte and South Carolina Railroad. Tho comfort of pabssngere consulted-their baggage checked through and duly cared for. ELEGANT COACHES AND PALACE SLEEPING CARS Attached. Good water; no ferry nor trestle works, and the entire management of tho Road BO aa to seenro a Safe, Agreeable and QUICK travel. ALBERT JOHNSON, April 30Mmo Superintendent. THE CENTRAL SHORT LINE. SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE, CHARLOTTE k H. C. AND C. A A. R. R., COI.LMIIIA, S. C., April 10, 1869. THE following- is the nectiona sure to all points North. South. Wtat. Going North. | | Going South. Leave 7.40 am Augusta | Arrive 6.15 pm " 1.25 pm Columbia " 12 50 pm 8.25 pm Charlotte | " 5.50 am 1.30 am I Greensboro " 12.15 am " 11.15 am Richmond | " 2.45 pm " 9 00 pm Washington *' 7.00 am " 10 45 pm Baltimore | " 5.08 am ?? 2.35 am Philadelphia " 12.50 am Arrive?.19 am New Y'ork | Leave 9 20 pm Making close connections at Charlotte to ill points North and East, and at Augusta ' all points South and Weat. ?VBnggage chocked through. Faro as low aa bv competing linos. To mauro SPEED, SAFETY and COMFORT, be sure and ask for Ticket- ria Columbia and Orangeville. First-clasi Pating Houaeaalong th? emil<? Route. Ticketa by thiaroutoar< OPTIONAL-either via Danville and Richmond. Weldon and Rich? mond, or Weldon and Old Ray Lino-good until used. For Tickets to all priooipal pointa North, South or Weat, apply at Ticket Office, foot of Blandiug street, or fer othci information to C. BOUKMGHT, Superintendent, Or E. lt. DORSEY, General Freight and Ticket Agent. April ll If Lin Street, above Taylor, COLUMBIA. SOUTH CAROLINA. New and Improved Presses. Latest Styles TYPE, CARDS, PAPER, INK, ; And PRINTING MATERIAL. ALL. KINDS. mnamii Book, Job and NewspapcrTower Press TYP06B?PI1IC ESTABLISHMENT, i ,P m P O Ct <! fe > P BEAD AND BE ENLIGHTENED ! And if you Want A THOROUGH NEWSPAPER, Subscribe tor citber THE PHONIX, Daily and Tri-weekly; or THE WEEKLY GLEANER, Published every Wednesday, IN COLUMBIA. SOUTH CAROLINA. READER-be you merchant, manufac? turer, professional man or mechanic beforo sending any JOB PRINTING to tho North to bo executed, call at tho above es? tablishment and examine tho specimens of work, as well as tho stock of material on hand. Remember, wo aro fully prepared to do any and all kinds of PRINTING, from a Curie Visile to a massive Volume, a 30 feet Poster to a six inch Circular, in plain black, or in fancy colors and bronze. Tho proprietor is constantly making ex tonsivo additions to his largo stock of ma? terial-Type, Tresses, Colored Inks, Card Board, Cards, Taper, Fancy Envelopes, etc., introducing tho LATEST STYLES. As wo work exclusively on the WCA8II PRINCIPLE,"Sa the patrons of tho office may depend upon having full justice ren? dered to thom, in tho way of Low PKICEK. Wo make no promises wilie!, wo aro not fully determined to carry out. Tho pro? prietor is a practical printer, attends close? ly to his business; employs only first class workmen; the office is supplied with every? thing necessary to turn ont good work; prices aro lower than any establishment in this Stato or oven New Y'ork-which wo aro prepared to prove. Our friends iu thc country may send their orders to this effico and rely upon their receiving tho same at? tention and being filled as promptly and as cheaply as if given personally. Traveling showmen, hotel-keepers, rail? road agents and all who have LETTER PRESS PRINTING to do, will find it to their interest to call. Seeing is bolieviug; and an examination and comparison of prices of the following grades and styles of work, will convince the skeptical that eur assertions are correct: Pamphlets, Circulars, Bill Heads, Briefs, Lawyer's Bianka, County Officer's Blanks, Labels, Ball Tickets. Invitations, Bills of Faro, Dates, Railroad Receipts, Dray Tickets, Horse Bills, Postera, Hand-bills, Dodgers, j Tags, ProRrammfB, Lotter Heads, Checks, Drafts, Receipts, Labels, Tickets, Notes, Show Cards, Catalogues, Bank Cheek*, Wedding, Visiting and Easiness Cards, '?c., of all styles and sizes, in ono, two, three Colors and Bronze. ayBuHiness Carde, Programmes and Hand-bills, furnished at prices ranging from $3 to $8 per thousand, according to quality, size and quantity. Wo aro fully determined to oftVr inducements to per? sons in want of PRINTING of ANY KIND, as to make the capital of South Carolina the great centre of printing for tho State, and THE PHONIX AND GLEANER OFFICE tho es? tablishment where it can be successfully and satisfacto? rily accomplished. O GO O P fe o ?* fe m ? ? JD fe O hH H P H M H m fe hH O W S3 hH fe O tf H < PH THE VERY LATEST NEWS, By Telegraph and Mails, fruin all parts of tho World, together with full Commercial and Market Reports, besides a vast amount of miscellaneous reading matter, of inter? est to ail: spicy Communications, Editori? als and Local It< ms, Poetry and MisceUa ny, will bo found in theso publications. Every issue of the Daily contains from ten to fourteen columns of reading matter; tho Tri-weekly from twenty to twenty-four, and thc Weekly thirty-two long columns making it thc LAUGEST and CHEAPEST PAPER in tho South. An examination of their merits is solicited. SPECIMEN COPIES FURNISHED On application, or by addressing a com? munication to the Ofiice, on Main street, nenr Taylor, Columbia, 8, C. TERMS FOR 8IX MONTHS, IN ADVANCE Daily Pluptiix $4.00; Tri-Woekly t2.50; Weekly Gleaner il 50. Persons rebiding on the Greenville, Au? gusta and Charlotta Railroads can receive the PHO?NIX, containing Telegraphic Mar? keta, etc., twenty-four hours ahead of th Charleston papers. Old Newspapers, FOR Wrapping and Pattern Cutting, for salo at the PHG?.NIX OFFICE. JULIAN A. SELBY, Proprietor Phoenix and Gleaner Printing Establishment. Greenville ana Columbia Railroad. BWSFS??SSP PASSENGER Trains rnn aHcMHCSjKg daily QTrnpt Bnrday, con? necting with Night Train on Charlearon"Road: Lve Columbia 7.00 am Lvo Greenville COO am " Alston 8.55 " " Andereon C.45 " Newherryl0.35 ?. " Abbeville 8.45 '? Arr Abbeville 8.30 pm " Newberry 1.25 pm "Anderson 5.15 " " Alston 3.00 " "Greenville 6.00 " Arr Columbia 5.00 pm Traine ou Rino Ridge Railroad run as follows: Lve Anderson 5.20 pm Lve Walhalla 4.00 am " Pendleton fi.20 ?' ?? Pendleton 5.40 .. Arr Walhalla 8.00 ?. Arr Anderson 6.40" Tho train will return from Bolton to Ander? son on Monday and Fridav mornings. JAMES O'. MEREDITH. General Sup*?. - I Office North Carolina Railroad Co., ISr^J'HBOSS? THffollowinc ??the Sschedule for Passen? ger Trains over thia road: Leave Charlotte..11.36p m Arrive. .11.35 p ni " Greensboro 5.05 a m and 7.17 p m " Raleigh 9.41 a. m. and 3.20 p. m. Arrive Goldflhoro 12.25 p m Leave.. 12.80 p m Through Passengers by this line have choice of routes vin Greensboro and Danvilleto Rich? mond, or Dia Raleigh and Weldon to Richmond or Portsmouth: arriving at all points North ol Richmond at samo time by either route. Con? nection marlo at Ooldaboro with Passenger Traills on Wilmington and Weldon Railroad to and from Wi minpton, and Freight Train to Weldon. Also tr? Newhera on A. A N. C. R. Laurens Railroad-New Schedule. luWtlM'ifi? MAIL Trains on this Road run to .SB^aiPreturn same day, to connect with np and down Trains on Green ville and Colum? bia Railroad, at Helena; leaving Laurenp at 5 A. M.. Tuesdays', Thursdays and Saturdays; and leaving Helens, at I SO P. M. sarao dava. Jnlv 9 J. 8. ROWERS, Superintendent Spartanburg and Union Bailroad. t? UM M KU SCHEDULE. CB^KRP ON and after tho 8th June inst., Passenger Trains will leave gpar tanburg C. II. Tuesdays, Thursdajs and Satur? days at 5 a. m., and arrive at Alston 11.80 a. m. Returning same days, Jeave Alston et 13.SO na.; arrive at Spartanburg Conit House 7.00 p. m., as per following Seht dole: Doini Jrqtn. Uj> Train. Miles. Arrivo. Leave. Arrive. Leave. Spartanburg 0 5.00 7.00 I'acolct.10 5.45 5.4* C.12 6.15 Jonesville .. .10 0 25 0.30 5.1? 5.88 Union Ville... 2fl 7.16 7.40 4.b0 4.45 Sunt ne. 37 8.28 H Ha 3.37 3.45 Shelton.48 0.23 9.25 2.36 2.40 Lyles Ford. .52 9 40 9.50 ?.09 2.12 Strother.... 56 10.14 10 18 1.42 1.46 Abdon. 68 ll SO 12.80 June 5 THOS. ?. JETER, President. Notice to Shippers. i" " COLUMBIA AND AUGUSTA R. B. CO., OEN'L FBEIOBT AND TICKKT AGENT'S OFFICE, COLUMBIA, S. C.. June 18, 1869. THIS road is now open for business, and is prepaied to transport with REGULARITY and DESPATCH FREIGHTS for Augusta, and all points on its line; also, to points South of Augusta. Wo solicit a share of publie patron? age. For further information, apply at the Freight Depot, foot of Blsnding street. CALEB BOUKN1GHT. Superintendent. E. R. DOUSKY, General Freight and Ticket Anent. June 18 Imo SMOKINO TOBACCO. ?)(\f\ LBS. GENUINE DURHAM-direct ?d\ t\f from the Factory, 400 Lbs. "OommonwnaUh," 100 Lbf. "Bracelet." April 20 JOHN C. SEEGER8.