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I TO TEACH ^ College of Lovem grees, is the Very 1 M ... Hereafter when a youpg man throws - himself at the feet of * youog woman flQd pleads in ardent terms tho depth o' his love for ber he moy be asked to 6bow his certificate, says tho Chicago Tribune. Loveraok?og is to be eleva ted to the plane of the science. A college has been established in At wood, Tenn., where degrees will be conferred, and if in the futuro yon cote JD. I?, after a name yon will know the person bearing it has been a stu dent there. The letters D. L. stand for Doctor bf Love, and that is what Prof. T. J. Brooks, who has estab lished the school, proposes to make of all those who enroll their names on his roster. The unique seat of love training is knuwn as the College of Courtship. Thc aim of the founder is to help ail those whose amatory education has been neglected. He bas surrounded himself with acorns of competent in structors and is ready for the Spring rush. Students in the College of Courtship will be taken through several degrees before they become Doctors of Love.; Thc college course is to consist of four terms. There will be an eleotive course for the degree of Bachelor of Hearts, to consist of three terms, as well as a post-graduate QQWlse for tie degree of Experienced Benedict. In the freshmen term the studies, which are mostly non-eleotive, will consist of recitations and lectures upon meteorology, language, tokens, diagnosis, driving with one hand-in cluding tho choice of a horse-botany, deportment, finance-as applied to can dy, flowers and theatre tickets-the management of gas jets and the control of clocks. DETAILS OF THE CURRICULUM. During the second term the students will take up the art of salutation, sty ie in letter writing, engagement rings, thc management of younger brothers, the dangers of the tintype and ?h** law of breach of promise. During this term, too, attention will he paid td general outdoor work, and there will he moonlight excursions and visits of observation to the parks. In the senior year the prescribed studies will follow the same general line, but in addition etch student will be required to show familiarity with his or her studies and must be able to satisfy the examinersin the three sub jects of "ability to arouse interest, the discouragement of rivalry and the art of expressing affection." The degree of Bachelor of Hearts will only be granted when a student oan bring for ward a girl who believes in him under all circumstances, while the post-grad uate degree of Experimental Bene dicts will only be conferred upon grad uates of the college who, after a year of marriage can display certificates, signed by their wives, making affida vit that they have never regretted their choioe. FEW UNDERSTAND LOVEMAKING. The plan of the College of Co ur tah ip is based on Prof. Brooks' belief that the average young man does not know how to make love to the average young woman and that the young wo man of to-day does not understand the art of being loved by the modern young man. In his opinion the manifestation of love, of tenderness (and of devotion ?re matters which oan be taught to those whose bashfulness o.- lack of initiative prevents them from s?eking their affiinty in love. Spontaneity is all very well for thoBe who have it, says Prof. Brooks, but for thos2 who are without this accomplishment a course of scientific lovemaking is the best substitute. The chief ?object of the faculty of the College of Courtship will be to re duce lovemaking to an exaot science. The matter has been so carefully stud ied hy the skilled psychologists at tached to the oollcge tb?.t they* are now able to predioate, with mathemat ical exactness, just what a girl will do under certain circumstances and what reply she will make to the preliminary advances of a student of the opposite Rex who follows the prescribed course in his lovemaking. MISTAKEN IDEAS ABOUT GIRLS. The faculty particularly . wieheB t? rid the publie mind of certain set no tions concerning girls and their ways which they believe to be erroneous. For instance, they wish the students early in their freshmen year, to aban don the idea that the average girl doesn't know her own mind for two minntes together. Professor Brooks says that as a result df only two months' instruction at the College of Courtship he is now able to exhibit several girl students who can main tain a decision for 30 minutes without winking or drawing a fresh breath. He hopes to be able to in?rense this period of endurance to an hour later COURTSHIP. ?king, to Confer De* STewest Thing Out. on. Professor Brooks is equally proud of another student of the same sex, who, when asked her age, will tell it correctly, instead of saying: "How old do yon think I am?" These two in stances, he says, afford valuable evi dence of the work that can be accom plished by soientifio instruction in the preliminaries of lovemaking. LECTURE UPON LANGUAGE. The work of developing bia ability in both sexes is begun early in the freshman year, when lectures uppn "Languages" are delivered. The book upon this subject was especially pre pared for the classes by Professor Ad dleit, author of that well-known mon ograph entitled, "Studies in the Molar Dentition of Ducks." The objeot of the work is to provide a series of care fully planned conversations, so that students, while reciting their lessons in pairs, will bo enabled to make love to one another in the proper, scientific and collegiate way. Under the cap tion of "H)w to Make Love to a Bed-Headed Girl," for instance, the following improving dialogue is given: He-How beautiful your hair looks with the sun upon it. It reminds me of spun gold. She-Do you really think so? He-Of course I do. I always liked red hair. She-Well, I admire your eloquence! Bed, indeed. My hair is not red. It's only red-brown. (She pulls t braid over the forehead and shows it.) Look at that! Do you mean to oall that red? He Hooking in her eyes)-I don't see how I ever Came to make suoh a mistake. Of course it isn't red. It is just the color of your eye? [Note to student-If her eyes are blue, omit preceding sentence and use following:] He (continuing)-And now that you have lowered your eyes I see that your hair is just the same as your eyelashes and eyelids. Do you know that it is rare and pretty to see people whose hair, eyes, eyebrows and lashes are all the same color? [Note to student-If her eyelashes and eyebrows are red you are up against it. Get another girl.] She-Thank you. He-I'll say "Thank you," too, if you will give me a little bit of that hair. She-Whatever for? He-What does a man ever want a girl's hair for?' She-Well, I don't always know. A man asked me for a bit of my hair once and I found out afterward that he wanted to make fishing flies out of it He-r-Well, he was wise. What fish eould resist taking that bait? She-That's not bad-for you. Next time I have a pair of scissors I'll give you a bait? He-Well, here's your chanoe. (Produoes folding scissors.) (She takes them and snips of a small piece.) ? She-Now, what good is that to you? He-I'll wear it next my heart. [Note to the student-Be careful not to put things into the hip pock ets. It will spoil the object of the lesson.] PREPARED FOR ALL CONTINGENCIES. The succeeding steps of this partic ular lesson carry the red-headed stu dent and her official suitor through an interesting and ingenious course of dialogue and then to a proposal and acceptance. The careful use of this text hook, it is claimed, is calculated to give assurance to even the most bashful student. The lessons are so arranged that every contingency, both of complexion and disposition, are provided for. The student who has made conscientious progress through this work will, in the opinion of the faculty, he so well equipped with the requisites to scientific love-making that he will have no'difiioulty in strik ing a progressive conversation with any young woman he .may he attract ed, while a woman student, who haB been brough the book will find it easy to make properly coy yet enticing re plies to any suitor who may present himself. In all other points the instruction to be given in scientific love-making will be equally thorough. Tho objeot of the "College of Courtship'* is to im part a finished style to the love-mak ing of its students. No graduate of thc institute, for' instance, will ever need to descend to such subterfuges as saying, "If you love mc, squeeze my hand!" He will know how to ob tain au avowal by methods that are less crude. Lessons will be given also in the language of flowers and of stamps. These lectures will bo fin ished productions, having nothing in common with "Thc ros?is red, the violet's blue, pickles are green-" and the rest of that ridiculous and anti quated school. Modern science de mands better things in love, says Professor Brooks, and it will be the object of the institution to develop in its pupils the highest grade of ari in love-making. USE OF THE HUG TESTER. As far as posible the students will be exercised withont apparatus, but members of the faculty have devised several testing machines of such un doubted value that they will be used i n th? eerrieolosfc Qceof the best of theso, devised by irtoifessor Stringer, is known as the "hug tester/' ?t con sists of a dressmaker's dummy, to the top of which is affixed a dial resem bling that used on weighing maohiooe. By an ingenuous arrangement of springs attached to the waist of the figures the exact value of a hug in pounds avoirdupois can be estimated to a nicety. By its use Professor Stringer hopes to develop tn the proper extent the arms of those young men whose hugs have hitherto lacked strength, while at the same time the maohine will enable him to keep a watch upon those muscular persons who are unaware, perhaps, of the en ergy they are emplr jg. These will be warned of their excess and will be shown the proper amount of pressure to exert. They will then be exercised upon the machine until they are per fect in the art. Professor Stringei mentions the sad case of a young man -not a student of the college-who, upon belog accepted by the young wo man to whom he was paying atten tion, craoked three of her ribs in hit misguided efforts to bo affectionate Professor Stringer says the incident affected him so muob that he at ono< set about the invention of a machine whioh should obviate such accident; in the future. Prof. Brooks says that the result of his observation shows that there ar: 30,000,000 married people in the Uni ted States. The majority of these says the founder of the College o; Courtship, are unhappy they are en during the life rather than enjoyin; it. This, he believes, is a conditioi whieU could be entirely prevented i the 30,0?u,uuu nad been graduate? from his institution. The College of Courtship at At wood, Tenn., is now open for the re ception of students, either for the reg ular or post-graduate course. Theist ter, necessarily, is for married peoph It is designed to show quarrelsom couples the errors of their ways h causing them to take a speoial coure of instruction in good temper. Profei sor Brooks says he expects there wi be a great demand for the graduates < his college. Several scholarships wi be granted to deserving young peop I who do not yet know how to mal love. Light on the Question. j A short time ago a large factor fitted with electric lights, caught c fire, and in spite of the efforts of tl fire brigade, was almost demolishe The following morning a ne wi y-a pointed member of the police for was dispatched to the spot with view to ascertaining how the fire ori inated. After olosely interrogating the ma ager of the faotory, he asked to 3 the man who was responsible for tl electric light. The manager stat that the eleotric switches were und his sole oontrol. Polioeman-Then you are the m who lights np the electric affair? Manager-That is so. Polioeman (bubbling over with < oitement)-Now, be careful how y answer my next question, 'cos if i Satisfactory it will le took as e dence against you. When you light the electric light last night, where < you throw the match? - ??? am Sciatic Rheumatism Cured After I teen Years of Suffering. "I have been afflicted with scit rheumatism for fourteen years." si Josh Edgar, of Germantown, Cal. was able to bo around but constan suffered. I tried everything I co hear of and at last was told to Chamberlain's Pain Balm, whioh I and was immediately relieved and i short time oured, and I am happy say it has not since returned." V not uso this liniment and get well? is for sale by Orr-Gray Drug Co. - ..Yes," said his wife, pe tul an "if I don't get the bonnet I want keop you in hot water." "T you'll find I'm like an egg, and t hot water will harden me." Stops the Cough and Works off Cold. Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets < a cold in ono day. Np cure, No 1 Pri?e 25 cents. - The Lion Bridge, near Sangi in China is the longest in the wo Doing five and one-quarter miles f end to end. The roadway i? sevc feet above water. Thia Signatare Ja on every box ot the gen Laxative Brono^uimne T*M the remedy that earea m ?old tn. csa* - If people could bc young witl being green and sentimental, witl being soft, the world would bo at . mercy of youth. Do Mea Understand Women. A man oan very seldom tell what is passing in a woman's mind. He talks with another man and he can follow his processes, he gets his point of view; he oan read between the lines; he can make a shrewd guess as to how he esme to say that, or why he re frained from saying the other, says the Watchman. But a woman's mental prooeBses are not those of a man. Her mental ma chinery is geared differently. You hear- v*hst she tells you. You can make inferences from it; they will be wrong, because you do not knowhow' she oame to say what she did; you do not have the clew. Try to guess what she will say next and you will find that you are all at sea. The man who says that he under stands woman is himself a woman He may love her. There may exist between his soul and hers that inde finable and celestial sympathy whioh is the sweetest thing on earth; but he does not understand her. Her mental operation, her ways of ? thought, her point of view will always be as inscrutable to him as the montai processes of au angol. Whether wo men understand each other is not quite certain. A greater part of tho delight thftt men find in the compan ionship of women arises from their inscrutability. You cannot measure or exhaust them. Their charming inconsequence, as they seem to you, will never cease to puzzle you and every fresh conversa tion reveals a novelty of attitude or opinion. As Clever As Solomon. . Every Child Her Own Solomon" is a text that may come up for discus sion in some of the clubs after the color question is disposed of now that little Miss Kohlsaat has argued and won a case of her own. Tho little girl lost a much-beloved pet dog some time back, and recently saw it riding in a carriage with a handsome ly gowned woman. The carriage was going very slowly, and near the pave ment, and the little girl delightedly called her pet by name. With a whine or joy the animal sprang from the vehicle and, running to little Miss Kohlsaat, began jumping about her and licking her hands for sheer joy. "You can't have my dog, little girl," called the woman from her car riage, which had now drawn rein be side the curb. "But this is my dog," said little Miss Kohlsaat. "No, it is my dog," said the wo man. "I'll prove that it is minc," replied little Miss Kohlsaat with the blood born of determination aud justice. By this time quite a crowd of chil dren and passers-by had collected, and the girl, with the dog in her arms, faoed her antagonist as a lawyer faces a jury. "Cau-your Jog stand up and beg?" said she. ."Yee," answered the woman. "Cen he jump through a hoop?" "Yes." "Can he lie down and play dead?" "Yes.*;. "Can he dance on his hind feet?" "Yes." "Can he say hiB prayers?" "Yes." Closing her arms tightly about the dog and starting to walk away the ohild eried triumphantly: "Well, my dog can't. He is mine then." And she won. - To get old gracefully isas reason able as to atop breathing cheerfully. - When a strong man grows weak it is a woman ho seeks for a crutch. CATAR The treatment of Catarrh wit astringent washes, lotions, salves, 1 and cigarettes or any external or loi just as senseless as would be kindlin the pot to make it boil. True, the? relief, but the cavities and passages o bronchial tubes soon fill up again wi Taking cold is the first step towa checks perspiration, and the pois vapors which should pass off throi thrown back upon the mucous membi producing inflammation and excessi m ?ch of which is absorbed into th reaches every part of the system, invc parts of the body. When the discs becomes exceedingly foul, blinding hearing affected and a constant ringi not reach the polluted blood can cv circulation all blood is aga mucous mern active, all the pear, and a ? S. S. S. being a strictly vegetable Stomach and digestion, but the appcti under its tonic effects. Write us abc advice free. Book on blood and skin THE swir BLACKSMITH AND THE undersigned, having succee & Co., will continue it at the old etan Repairing and Repainting prom] We make a specialty of "Goody? General Blacksmith and Woodw< Only experienced and skilled woi We have now ready for sale Hi that we especially invite your attentio We put on Goodyear Rubber Til Your Church Street, Oppoaite Jail. Same Adrice to Both. Io passing judgment in the oases of men arraigned at thc Central sta* tion on charges of intoxication, Mag istrate Cunningham, although he fre quently reverses himself, offers to each offender some sound advice. Bill Jones, who had heen found upon the public highway minus the faculty of navigation, was arraigned before him. "Married or singlo?" asked the magistrate. "Single, sir," replied the shaking oulprit. "You ought to get married. If you had a wife and family ' o occupy your attention you would have no desire to drink," said the magistrate. "I'll discharge you; but I hope you'll give to matrimony more thought than you have to liquor." John Smith, who had also been ar rested for being intoxicated, was next oalled. "Married or single, John?" queried the magistrate. '.Married, your honor," was the prisoner's reply. "Then you have no- business get ting drunk. Drinking should bc dono by single men who have uo family to require their attention and cash. You ought to have remained single, then the damage you are doing would fall upon you alone. Go home and think it over."-Philadelphia Evening Tele graph. ?mn o mm No Color Line Drawn. Lamar Landon, of Georgia, was holding forth last week at an infor mal reunion of the Southern Society in Sherry's says the New York Times. One of the talcs of the South that wat told was this: A northerner wh had never beet below Mason and Dixon's line wen down last winter. Guided througl the oountry by au old negro, the* reaohed the edge of a stream, and thi traveler said to the darkey: "What is that dark object in th water?' " 'Ob, dat's a alligatah, sah,' wa the reply. "And what is that other dark thin] over there on the sand?' was asked. " 'Dats a alligatah, too, sah,' th guide answered. " 'Then these alligators of yours ar amphibious creatures, are they?' quei ' ied thc northerner. The old negro scratched his head pondered deeply, finally smiled know ingly, and answered: "'Oh, yes, sah; yes, sah. 'Coursi dey's amphibious. Dey eats niggeri jest do same as white folks.' " - A man can't help feeling pretty important when he has just made i fqt deposit in his bank aocount, oven if he has ohecked it all out again thai Bame day. - Every time you forget to remem ber to tell a woman you love her sh forgets you do. .Let tbe GOLD DUST twins do your workg Slave if you will, but if you prefer to make haust work easy, use GOLD OUST lt makes home brighter and care lighter. Made only by THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY Chicago. New York. Boston. St. Louis. Makers of OVAL FAIRY SOAP. nedicated tobacco *^$ffi^^~^y??l cal application, is ^^^"^7Mh g a tire on top of ^"^^f^^^Rp raneor inner skin, j^^r^^^^^S^^ ve flow of mucus, ^ami-*i ?WU I e blood, and through the circulation dving the Stomach, Kidneys and other ise assumes the dry form, the breath headaches are frequent, the eyes red, ng in the ears. No remedy that docs ire Catarrh. S. S. S. expels from the i offensive matter, and when rich, pure in coursing through the body, the bran es become healthy and the skin disagreeable, painful symptoms disap >ermanent, thorough cure is effected. blood purifier does not derange the [te and general health rapidly improve mt your case and get the best medical diseases sent on application, r SPECIFIC CO.. Atlanta, O au WOODWORK SHOPS ! ided to the businers of Frank Johneo d, and solicits the patronage of the publi* atly executed. jar," Rubber and Steel Horse Shoeinj irk. .kmen employed. ome-made, Hand-raa?-> Farm Wagoi n to. .ea. s for business, J. P. TODD. P. G. BKOWS, E. A. SMYTH, n. A GAMHRUT V K _ AMMONIAT?D FERTILIZERS, ACID PHOSPHATE, COTTON SEED MEAL AND HULLS. We are prepared to sell our customers Fertilizers of all kinds and in any quantities. We wish to call your sp?cial attention to our 16 per cont. Petrified Dissolved Bone, Manufactured from Tennessee Phosphate Rock, also our Standard Blood Ammoniated Guano. All of our goods run high in the different ingredients, which are selected with care, and are of the best quality. Ocr principal source of Ammo?a is derived from Blood and Tankage. e are also prepared* to ?ell you Cotton Seed Meal, Kaimt and Acid Phosphate for fertilizing purposes. We are importers of German Kainit, Muriate of Potash, Nitrate of Soda, a full stock of which we have on hand at all times. We will make you a fair exchange of any of the above named articles, also Meal and Hulls for feeding purposes, for Cotton Seed at our various mill points. Please call and see us end secure cur prices before placing your orders. Thanking you for your past liberal patronage and encouraging words of praise for the high quality and excellence of our goods, and wishing you ts prosperous New Year, we remain, Yours truly, _ANDERSON PHOSPHATE AND OIL CO., Anderson, S. C. j V ? r g iiii a=C ar oMna |! GlieaTiical Company, CHAIiLESTQ?'f, S. C. j RICHMOND, VJk. ATLANT,/-!-, GS?. 1' "Largest Manufacturers ?f ! . Fertilisers in the South. J' Importers of . . . it Pui'e G^rm&n Kainit, |j Muriato of Potash, li Nitrats- of Soda, jj Sulphate of Potash. j It is important ia buying your fertilizers, not !! only to buy goods of established reputation and high j grade, but to buy where your wants of every i character can be supplied. i We are in position to furnish ail classes of ? gooch and in suchjquantities as buyers desire. It M .v-v ' cu to sve us befare purchasing:, j! Address Virginia*Carolina Chemical Co., jj Charleston. S. C. PEOPLES FURNITURE CO. S?LLS UP-TO-DATE FURNITURE. KEEP in Stock the BEST F?RITTJRE for the MONEY to be found in upper South Carolina. Baby Carriages, Go Carts, Side Boards, Bed Room Suites, And anything you want in the Furniture line. ? We keep an up-to-date HEARSE. ?ft. COFFINS and CASKETS furnished day or night. PEOPLES FURNITURE 00. Attention, Farmers ! We have just received one Car Load of Fancy Winter Grazing Oats. Come quick and secure somo of them before they are all su*d. O. D. ANDERSON & BRO. ?il A il TIT n I-YOU to know that I am offering PIANOS, OR WAN I LU ! GANS and SEWING MACHINES AT COST. I have in stock the very best that money can buy. A limited nu mber of Standard Vibrator Sewing Machines for 821.00 each. Pianos from 8140.00 to 8260 00. Remember, this is Cash, and remember, also, that it is COST. No such opportunity has been offered the people of Anderson. You can save fifty per cent by taking advantage of this sale. Come to see me il you are looking for the BEST. M. L. WILLIS, Next door Peoples Bank. Some desirable Building Lots for sale. ?H s tn 111 g Sd o - W Q t> M W . ? CELEBRATED Acme Paint and Cement Cure ia Specially used on Tin Roofs and Iron Work of any kind. For sale by ACME PAINT & CEMENT! CO. Beference : F. B. GR AYTON & CO., Druggists, Anderson. S. C.