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0ome Examples of Paddy has a gvcat^ powe^r of enjoy ment aftojr all. One day} ho saw a bull attuck a man, and ho had to hold ou bis sides with both hands, the ??ceue was]so funny. After a time the animal turned his attention in anoth er direction, and poor Pat, af ter ex ..inrinnr tho heights, caine down with a c- ? ' thump on tho other sido of the fence."] He rubbed his wounds, and as he said to himself, "Faith, I'm glad I had my laugh when I did, or I wouldn't have had ii at all. An Irishman, a newly appointed crier in tho County Court in Austral ia, where there are many Chinese, was ordered by the Judge to summon a witness to the staud. "Call for Ah Song!'' w 3 the com mand. Pat was puzzled for a moment. Ho glauccd slyly at thc Judge, and foundLL* him as gravo as an undertaker. Then ? lurniug to tho spectators, bc blandly simpered: . (iinileraen, would any of yon favor j,is Honor with a song?" An Irishman took a. contract to dig a well. When ho had dug about twenty-five feet down he oame one morning aud found it had fallen in and that it was filled nearly to the top. Pat looked cautiously around and saw that no pers/n was noar, then took off his hat and coat and hung them on a windlass, crawled into some bushes and awaited events. lu a short time tho' noighbors dis covered that the well had fallen in, and. seeing Pat's hat and ooat on the windlass, they supposed that he was at thc bottom of the excavation. Only a few hours of brisk digging cleared the loose earth from thc well. Just as the excavators had reached thc bottom and wero wondering where the body was, Pat carno out of the bushes and good-naturedly thanked thc diggers for relieving him of a sor-, ry job. Some of the tired diggers were disgusted, but the joke was too good to allow of anything more than a laugh, which followed promptly. The following took place in an American Court on one of the occa sions of "naturalisation," which is usual previous to a general eleotion: Judge: "Do you know O'Brien?" Irish Witness: "Yea; aoor." Judge: "How long has he been in this country?" vVitnoss: "A little over five year." Judge: "Is ho a man of good moral character?" Witness (quite bewildered): "Shure, yer Honor, I don't know what moral character means." Judge: "Well, sir, I will talk more plainly to you. Does O'Brien stand fair before the community?" Witness (completely nonplused) : "By my sowl, I don't apprehend your m'aning, your Honor.'^ Judge (rather irritated^ "I mean to ask you, sir, if O'Brien, the person who wants to be a citizen, and for ?hoar you are a witness, is a good man or not?" Witness: "Oh, an' why didn't you as me that way before? To be sure, be's a good man. Shure, an' I've seen him in ten fights dario' the last two years, an' iv.'ry time ho Hoked his mau." A gentleman seeing an Irishman re moving an embankment from a dwell ing, inquired: "Patrick} what are you doing?" "I am opening tho cellar window, tobe suro." ' And what aro you doing that for? ' .: ' "May it plaiso you?.' Honor," said Patrick, "to let out tho dark." Some years ago, in one of the Wes tern States of America, an English man, nn Irishman and a Scotchman were found guilty of murder and sen tenced to death, but wcro allowed to decide the manner of death themselves. Toe Scotchman promptly chose to be "?aged on an ash tree;'' tho Rnglis.k oan ohoBe an oak, but Pat said: "If jou plaze, your Honor, I'd rather be taue on a gooseberry bush." 'That's not big enough," said the Judge. ' ?egorrt '-hin," said Pat, "Oi'll *?>t till it grows.'-. Walking along a street ono day, '?trick and his wife Nora passed by a isiudow where a handsome silk dress exposed to view. "Ah, Patrick," said Nora, "do ye |rcmember yo said I was to have the dress when yo bad 'the money to m.it?" I'Did I say thjit, Nora?" 'Todade ye did, Patrick. An' yo '*ve the money in yer pocket to buy 16 tho dhriss this day." ''That I huve, Nora; but I don't 3?thedhr?8a." is, r PAT. Irish. Good Humor. I "Au' why not, shure?" "It's bist, Nora, that I* kape tho money in mo pocket for the day whin we haven't got it," The following is ? resolution of an Irish corporation: "That a new jail should be built; that this bo done out of the materials of the old one, and that tho old jail to bo used until tho now one bo completed." "Buy a trunk, Pat," said lue ?eai ?r. . :. , , "And what for should I buy a trunk?'! rejoined Pat. "To put your clothes in," was the eply. . "And go naked?" exclaimed Pat; 'not a bit of it." Curran once met his match in a ort, jolly, keen-eyed son of Erin, -ho was up as a witness in a case of isputc in the matter of a horse deal, urrau much desired to break down ie credibility of this witness and lought to do it by making the man tntradiot himself-by tangling him p in a network of adroitly framed lestions - but to no avail. The jostler was a companion to Sam oller. His good common sen.--, and s qualnimity and good nature wero t to be o\ci turned. By and by irran, in a towering wrath, belched rth, as not another counsel would ve dared to do in the prcsenee of a Court: "Sirrah, you are incorrigible! The ith is not to bc got from you, for it not in you. I see tho villain in ir face!" 'Faith, yer Honor," said the wit ts, with tho utmost simplicity of th and honesty, "my face must be ity elane and shinin' indade, if it reflect like that." 'or once in his life the great barns was floored by a simple v witness, could not recover from that repar and thc caso went against him. eq m Hi ( mi th [ike: "An* what arc yo diggic' out thole for, Pat?" at: "Arrah! an' it's not the hole diggin' out! I'm diggin' the dirt lavin* the hole!" austr?te: "Describe the man m you saw assaulting the com Qunt.'' slioeman: "He was a little,' insig ant-Iooking cratur, about your yonr worship." wo Irishmen entered one day into est discussion on the compara usefulness bf the moon and the thure, the sun gives a stronger ," said one. tnt the moon is more sensible," ed the other. low do yeeB make that out?" Hi, it's aisy." let's hear yoes prove it." ?edad, the moon shines in the >, when we nade it, while the sun s out in broad daylight, when a tnc-eyed man can see without 3 following took place in a Lon olico Court, at which Thackeray a young reporter) was in attcn Fogurty had gone all thc way Manchester to London to thrash Fitzpatrick, which ho did, wind ) the performance with the assis of an "awful horseshoe." He iteetcd, and brought before thc irate, and a part of his cxamina I hero givim: rt: "Well, sir, you came hero lanches ter, did you not?" "Your Honor bas answered i . url: "You see thc oomplain tead; it was cut by a sharp iu !nt. Do you know what cut "Ain't your Honor af the?* that a sharp insthrnment t (becoming restive): "I see, ian to equivocate. Now, sir t that head; you carno hero to did you not? Now, sir, what brought you hero to London?" "The locomotive, yer Honor?" t (waxing warm): "Equivocal in, you scoundrel!" (Raising horseshoe and holding it before "Do you sec this horseshoe, "Is it a horseshoe, yor Hon , (testily): "Don't you seo it Aro you blind? Can you at once that it is a horse "Bedad, no, yer Honor." (angrily): "No?" "No, yer Honor; but can yer ?" : "Of coorie I cati, you stu ?man." [?Cfilv^?v^ifitj aloud): "Un tin ev Se do. lea far wil bis bill c? say pen ove Sf" SlgC and T kno drev fron the ing i your the i the i Tl bega nessi ol fiv for a ?nter and h Scrof Al MENT or bb or as you v strenj Ache back? eyes? scroll sickni the BI of thi swelli bump: swelli ions, i ii-ed medici B. B. is mad seated worst ? B. mal up thc aches t giving skin. years. Trial Blood : Atlant and v medica B. B. 1 & Wilt - Ic is no gt narrow To Take I lets. ? if it fa; nature i - Sc plied, p to abidi The managei looks, ly A?h in perfei -Go happinc but by g Biliou tcrized t ti ve orgi ted, tho s ti pated pains in tongue a digested then of I and Liv? anees of healthy i tho liver late the are certa tho f?81 Drug Co, glory be to goodness, see what educa tion ie, yer Honor ( ? hure, a poor ig norant creature like meself wouldn't know a horse's shoe from a mare's." A YauKcc and en Irishman happen ing to be riding together passed a gal lows. "Where would you be," said Jona than, "if tho gallows had its dues?" "Kiding alone, I guess," said the Irishman. Once, when it was started, on thc occasion of a debate on some money rrant, that it was unjust to saddle posterity with adela incurred to ben net thc present, Sir Boyle aroso and ?aid: "Why should we beggar our i*?lves tc benefit posterity? Vvhac ias posterity dono for us?" The augh which followed rather surprised lim, as he was unconscious of his ?hui(UT. He proceeded to explain: 'Sir. by posterity I dc net moan our nccstors, but those who come irnuie iately after them." ? An Irishman who had blistered his ?gers by endeavoring to draw on a air of boots exclaimed: "I shall ncv . get them on at ull until I wear them day or two." Sir Boyle also sent an amusing uivocal invitation to an Irish noble un of bis acquaintance: "I hope, y lord, if ever you come within a ile of my house, that you'll stay ere all night." Took Him at His Word. A number of young men were sit g together in a country store one ening, telling what they did not he ve and what they were not afraid ti Finally, so tho story has it, thc der of thc group remarked that, so as he was concerned, he would be ling at any time to sign away all interests in Christ for a five-dollar i. What did I understand you to ?" asked an old farmer, who hap ed to be in thc store, and who had rheard the remark. I said that for five dollars I would i away all my interest in Christ; so I will." he u!d fanner, who had learned to wilie human heart pretty well, 7 out his leather wallet, took there l a five dollar bill, and put it in storekeeper's hand. Then, call for ink and paper, he said, "My ig friend, if you will just step to leek now and write as I direct, money is yours." ie young man took thc pen and n: "In tho presence of these wit ss, I, A-B-, for the sum 'c dollars received, do now, once ll audforever, sign away all my est-" Then he dropped the pen mid: "I take it back." ula, Ulcers, tancer, Skin Trou bles? LAST A CURE-TRIAL TREAT 1 FREE. IS your skin palid, pale md tbin? Are you easily tired tired in the morning as when rant, to bed? Is there loss of gfch? Are you all run down? a and pains in bones, joints or ' Weak eyes or stye on tho If sc, you have the poison of da in you.- blood, and the least sss, scratch or blow will bring to irface ail the horrible symptoms s terrible blood disease-ulcers, ogs, eating sores, foul breath, s or rising boils, abscesses, white ng, itching-skin humors, erupt ?ohes in bones, joints and mus aneer, catarrh, etd. If you are of doctoring, taking patent ines and aro not cured, then try B. (Botanio Blood Balm). It le especially for obstinate, deep blood troubles, and cures thc cases after all else fails. B. B. kes new, rich blood and builds weakened body, tiops all the and pains and heals every sore, the rich glow of health to thc Thoroughly tested for 30 I ?roatmer-t free by writing Balm Co., 380 Mitchell street, a, Ga. Describo your trouble, 'O will include free persoual 1 advice. Over 3,000 cures by Bk Hill Orr Drug Co., Wilh-he lite aud Evan? Pharmacy. i as wide a world as this there )od reason why a man should minded. Cnre A Cold In One Day laxative Bromo Quinine Tab ill druggists refund the money ls to cure. E. W. Grove's sig is on each box. 25c. riptnre read and correctly ap iretects from error, and guides ng success. ladies' wonder how Mrs. B. ? to preserve her youthful The secret is she takes Prick Bitters; it keeps the system ot order. d wants us to find out that ss does not come by getting, iving. isness* is a condition charac >y a disturbance of the diges ms. The stomach is debilita liver torpid, the bowels con There is a loathing of food, the bowels, dizziness, coated nd vomiting, first of tho un or partly digested food and ?ile. Chamberlain's Stomach rr Tablets allay the diaturb ioe stomach and create a jppotite. They also tono up to a healthy action and regu bowels. Try thom and you in to be much pleased with lit. For aaln by Hill Orr I Grafted Skin, William B. O'Neal, a well known telegraph operator, left last night for New York, where ho goes to havo n special surgeon dermatologist of great reputation remove the scars from his face. Sovcral weoks ago O'Neal was bad ly cut aud hi? f:<ce horribly disfigured in a fight that resulted from au argu ment over trivial causes. Thc knife marked its way wherever tho faco was touched. Two cuts extended down ward from tho forehead to tho neck and in front of tho face, beginning at the middle of thc forehead and ?cach ing as far down nu thc neck as was un protected by the collar. The knife blade, in its downward course, passed aver each oyo and that both eyes were not destroyed seems almost a j niracle. Thc sewing up of the wounds made ,Lem a still greater disfigure. Great ttitches were made across the wounds ?very quarter of an inch, and when he wounds healed tho scar*, with their intcrsectional scars from thc urgcon's needle, looked like thc aokbouc skeletons of fish. Since his recovery O'Neal attracted great deal of atteution, and wheu he asBed on the street pedestrians in* ariably stopped aud turned arouud )r another look at thc man whose ;CG was so horribly disfigured by thc nife. Tho operatiou which O'Neal is to ndcrgo in Now York for tho removal ! those scars is a delicate one, and he ill be under treatmeut several months, irst the scan made by the knife and e needle will be cut out and made i inch wide, so as to make two new d wide wounds extending frotu the rchcad to the neck. On these fresh tunde skin removed from other per os will be grafted. This grafted in grows slowly and only a little of takes root every day, so tho process ll require much time and much skiu, only a small percentage of thc skin fted takes root and grows. O'Neal assured that tho operation will en ?ly or almost entirely remove every sc of Brigman's knife cuts from his e.-Atlanta Journal. - ,m 4t> mm - - Mr. Gayboy (over his paper) rcll, well! Herc's another shock story of crime. Truly one-half world doesn't know how the other F lives." Mrs. Gayboy (sigoifi tly)-"Yes and very frequently a i's better half doesn't know how other half lives." - "What do you think of a dessert, :?" said the young wife. "I made it of Mrs. Shouter's cook hook." t, that accounts for it. I suppose tho leather binding that makes it 3uah." replied the zraat brute. a $; ! bi d< ai pr bi mi of ?a Vi Piano 1 I have a new lot < you from $70 00 to 31 ORGAN NEW HOME SEWING MACHINES frc tm?" Remember the place-next door to After you have tried around get my prit : this. EVANS' PHARMACY. er Hotel Chiquola, Anderson, S. C. Prepare for SPRING CLEA] IVANS EXTERMIN ATO ctions : Apply in crevices and all j iblera." )1-SPRING. 33 Car Loads Corn, Ear and IO Car Loads Oats. IO Car Loads Molasses. 1 Car Load Green Coffee. 300 Barrels Sugar. ?me along and see for yourself. LIGON & XV G. EVANS, Jl PENDLETON, I LL LINE OF Buist's Garden Seeds, Paints, Oil, Varnishes, Gas Drugs, Medicines and Cher F?ncy and Toilet Articles, Perfumery, Toilet Soaps, 8j '?'PP* J ?* Peruna, Man ai in and Lacupia Physicians Prescriptions carefull; Cot Half a Shave. On the returning troopship from South Africa tho merry English sol diers aro given to pranks. None of tho men on the ships recently in had shaved on the voyage till they neared Southampton, when lhere was a gen eral request for razors. . It happened that there was only one to ho had, all thu others probably be ing packed away with the heavy lug 5age in the hold. Tho owner of ibo solitary razor consented to lend it iround, but on condition that each me should shave half his face only at tuc turn, the owner then to have lirst iso. lie carefully shaved ono side of li? ?ace and then passed thc razor on. In duo time thc razor came back to Ls owner, who at once trimmed the ithcr side of his face and tossed thc azor into thc sea. How lucy ail groaned. And yet hey ii n cr laughed more than they iii alter they got over the first shock. \rlieu tliey landed every man seemed 0 have a bad face ache, to judge from ho handkerchiefs and tcarfs which ere held up, and there was an int lediate rush to thc nearest barber il ?ps - t 'hicayo Record-Herald. - A naturalist says that every time fanner shoots a hawk he throws rt >U hill into thc lire, for, though thc rd lakes un occasional chicken, it ?siroys ut least a thousand rais, mice id moles every year. - An oyster bcd near Mobile, Ala , is just been sold for $130,000. Thc icc would seem to bc surprisingly gb from the fact that the bcd is citi ltcd to eontain only SlOO.OUO worth oysters at the present time. ms Pharmacy, Special Agents. ^rchasers ! -o )f the latest styles I can save 100.00 in the purchase of a Piano. $ from $27.00 up. im $28 50 to 830.00. Peoples Bank. jes. You wilt save money by BI. Ii. WILLIS. NO.-Two JW nu v. HING: R ONE BOTTLE. ?laces infested with tho '. BUGACIDE. leady ! f%r%>%> Shelled. ! L?ftBETTER, HOL ESA LE DE?L.EK& lit CO., i. c. olino, ato?is, longes, etc. on hand. y compounded. U?R With Proof to convict th? man who said wo were CJIVTNO AWAY PIANOS AND ORGANS. WE aro gelling EO LOW and on such EASY terms that lhere wnj some ison in the report. Hut we must insist that it i.-, to a certain extent, a stake. Next time you eenie to town drop in and shake hands willi us. You know we handle 8EWJNG MACHINES also. THE C. A. REED MUSIC HOUSE. WE WANT YOUR WIFE To see the pretty new arriva!.- in our China Wtuo Department. VAU WE N? t sell her n new supply lb Spring'.' <>ur pri?es ure very low. At least HAVE BJ Eli Como tn. Sho will enjoy lr oking nt tho pretty and novel things for the year 1001. 7; 3 v&n " \<7 . 1 "'^-f'-^*^'/ A Well furnished Home Is not necessarily nu expensively furnished one, ns at TOLLY'S hand some, even sumptuous, FURNITURE is procurable without great outlay. Not that we deal in knocked-together, madc-to sell sort, but because wo are content with a reasonable profit on really good articles of Furniture. Our best witness ia the Goods them selves. Yours truly, G\ P. TOLLY & SON, The Old Reliable Furniture Dealers, Depot St., Anderson, S. C. ow is the Tim? to Buy You a . . . WE can give them to you at any price, and any kind that you want. i havo a good No. 7 Stove with 27 piece3 of ware for 87.75. We have a lot of IRON KING and ELMO 8T*OVES which you know are the beat veB on the market. Now we just want to speak to you one word about our HEATING STOVES, lecially about our Air Tight Heater, which you know is the greatest heater earth. If you would see one of them in uso or try one of them, you would have anything else. And just look at the price-thev cost almost noth -only 81.75 up to $6.00. We want to call your attention to our big Stock of Tinware, Glassware and Crockery. Now we havo just got too much of this atad it must bc sold, so we ?us t you to come and look and let us price you through. We have some of the prettiest pieces of Odd * luna you oversaw. Would ;e nico Wedding, Birthday und Christmas Presents. Now we are just opening up the biggest line of TOYS you ever eaw want you to come round and bring thc children and let them see a grand t in Toys. Ami remember Lhat all of these Goods must be sold at sonic price be ll now nud the 25tb day of December. Come now while you can get a selection of everything. Tours truly, OSBORNE & OSBORNE. J * H IL M cd S ?a i sa ts M H m > < o td M H ? H M ? wo 525 Q hrj co fi ? I co H 2 tr1 ts ? O Hi * fi 25 Eg CD . o o *3 M P P m ATS, OATS, AND RICE FLOUR. ARE HEADQUARTERS for all KINDS of GRAIN. bree Thousand Bushels of TEXAS RED RUST PROOF OATS. no Car of that famous HENRY OAT (or Winter Grazing Ont.) Tho >nt that will positively stand any kind of weather. ave just received Two Cara of fine FEED O VTS al lowest prices, ave just received Three Cars of RICE FLOUR for fattening your nd it comes much cheaper than any other feed and is much better. Yours respectfully, O. D. ANDERSON & BRO.