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BY CLINKSCALES & LANGSTON. ANDERSON, S. C WEDNESDAY MOKNING, AUGUST 9, 1893. ? VOLUME XXVnL-NO.^. Gout and Rheumatism Sciatica, white swelling, neuralgia, dropsy, an* rickets cured by "My little son, during the past year, bas suffered terribly from inflammatory rheuma? tism, for which we tried a variety of reme? dies, but none afforded more than temporary relief. At length we gave him Ayer's Sarsa pariUa, and the result has been so satisfac? tory that I can confidently recommend this medicine to all similarly afflicted."?J. R. Cornelius, Editor .Zetoitburgh CHroniclt, Lewisburgh, Pa. Ayer's Sarsaparilla Prepared by Dr. J. C. AyerSSCo., Lowell, Mum. CUTCS Oth?rSjWil! CUTO jfOU ?3s HEADQUARTERS FOR FIRST-CLASS RRIAGES, BUGGIES AND WAGONS!! E HAVE JUST RECEIVED a nice assortment of the BEST and LATEST STYLE Baggies. PLustonn and Carriages, among them a number of the celebrated Hay dock Rice Coll Spring Baggies,' the easiest riding Baggy in the world. We nave bean selling them for five years, and they have given universal satisfaction In every respect ^ , ' We also have the exclusive sale of the Tyson & Jones Baggies, made in Carthage, N. 0., the best and mosf stylish Buggy sold on this market. nnessee ^W^agons. THERE IB NO NEED for us to praise the merit of these Wagons, as they are too well known by everybody'. ? We have a complete stock of them on hand now, and are prepared to serve our numerous friends. , These Baggies and Wagons will be sold cheap for cash or on time to good, prompt .ying customers. ' BAGGING AND TIES. _ ? - -~i ># .. -. ? -THE NEW CROP will soon be oq hand and we would suggest that you make \ your arrangements in ample time for what Bagging and Ties you may need. Be sure to see us before buying, as we are in a position to make it to j our interest to buy from I us, and can sell you cheaper than you over bought before. Yours truly, SYLVESTER BLECKLEY COMPANY IS MONEY MADE. If you are intebested, just listen to me for three-quarters of a minute?if j yon are' not, then just pass on': IN BUYING AND ORGANS, Like almost everything else, we like to have a nice lot to select from; and that we cer? tainly have. Our stock is large acd complete, embracing a very handsome line of | more than a dozen different popular'makes, each make being represented in a variety of styles, bo that, altogether, we have one of the handsomest and best-assorted stocks Of these goods t j be found anywhere, larger cities not excepted. If you want a nice new Piano or Organ come and see us; or, if you can't come, just drop us a card and we will go to see yo?. We will sell you an Instrument for cash, on time, swap, or memt any othc way to keep the wheel in motion. So don't be afraid, bnt jnst drop in as toon as you can and look through our stock and talk it over?confidentially. ZBTJC3 G3-IZE1S I Ob, my! those nice little "Ha'g-Me-Tight" Baggies that just came in a few days - ego, are little beauties. The young m?n, especially, are invited to come in and see them. A good stock of heavier Buggies and Phaetons, Harness, &c , always on hand, and all to be sold very low. Second-hand Baggies at a bargain. H Sewing Machines. S?- vvWe have the largest stock in the up-country, with the world-renowned "NEW HOME" as our leader,-and want to sell a few of them out right away, too. Like the Pianos and Organs, will sell you one fo: cash, on time, swap, or most any way to please -the children.' We also carry a stock of all' kinds of Attachments, JNeedles, Oils, &c, for all kinds of Machines. Our friends and the trading public generally are invited to call in and see us and inspect our stock as often as convenient. - Hoping to see most of you soon, we are yours anxious to Bell, THE C. A. REED MUSIC HOUSE, ANDERSON, % C. P. S.--Piano Tuning and Voicing: is one of our Specialties. THE BEST COTTON GIN. THE NEW IMPROVED SMITH GIN, WITH FEEDERS AND CONDENSERS. 150 of these Gins sold by us in the last three years, ?st The Latest and Best SUCTION ELEVATOR' SYSTEM, For handling Seed Cotton for any number of Gins. Prices dowu ! COTTON PRESSES, STEAM ENGINES, And all Kinds of Machinery, ?3r- Write or apply for Terms and Prices. We can give you better figures and better Machinery than any competitor, simply because we have the BEST FACILITIES for this business. SULLIVAN HARDWARE CO, ELBERTON, GA. ANDERSON, S. C. THE ROLLER TRAY TRUNK the Most convenient trunk ever devised. ?? * - J TRAY Is arranged to roll back, leav? ing the bottom of the Trank easy of ac Nothlng to break or get out of order. Thu Tray can be lifted oat if desired, and to buy this style Is a guarantee that you will get the strongest Trank made. If your Dealer cannot furnish you, notify *b? manufacturers, H. W. ROUNTREE * BRO., '"" *' Richmond, v*. BOTTOM PRICES. Buckeye Milk Churn! On the Concussion principle?a boy 8 years old can churn 8 to 10 gallons easily. Refrigerators, Wafer Coolors, Fly Fans, Fly Traps, At Cost. MASON'S FRUIT JARS One quart 85c. per dozen, two quarts $1.10 per dozen. Ii* H? SEEL. JOHN K. HOOD, ATTORNEY AT LAW, 4 ANDERSON, - - fia. C. Feb 5,1891 91 8m SARGE PL1T5KETT. The Old Man Qou on ? Short VislL to the World'! Fair. Atlanta Constitution. I heard so much of the World's Fair that I felt obliged to go, and I went. Chicago got me hacked when I was there before, but it wasn't nothing then to what it is now. It took me all my time in daylight to make pre? parations for the night time. I thought it the smart thing to do to find a place to board the first thing. I ,wanted to find Bill Mickelberry. Some Atlanta friends told me to look Bill up the first thing and he would see me through, and they give me a letter with his address so that I would have no trouble, but I did havd trou? ble, and I haven't seed the gentleman yet-?I lost the address. I landed in Chicago at half-past 9 o'clock in the morning, and walked out of the car-shed with a proud step. I at once begun trying to make some acquaintances. For two hours I walk? ed and walked, and bowed and said "how are you" to every fellow I met. They paid no more attention to my "howdies" than if I had been a dog, but just rushed on like I had never been . there. At the end of the two hours I give it up. My tongus was hanging out from thirst and thi heat was about to kill me. My friends in Georgia told me to be mighty careful about going into houses; it was dan? gerous, they said, but into a house I must go or die in the street. It was a beer saloon, of course. There is noth? ing else there that a stranger can find, and, in justice, I must say they treat you with more consideration thaii any? where else. Leastwise, it was the only place in the Stats of Illinois that they would let me sit down. They won't let you rest on a curbstone, nor a log, nor nothing else up there. I triad it, and I wouldn't more than get down and my carpet sack fixed between my legs, till a policeman would squeal: "Move up there I Get a move on you. old man 1" till they had about moved me to death. In the saloon I took a chair by a little table and it wasn't more than a minute till a waiter came and asked what I would have. "Water, water 1" said I. The waiter was surprised that any? body in Chicago would want water and he whispered to the fellow behind the bar and they laughed. But, anyhow, they gave me some water, and the man behind the bar came over and took a seat with me. "Stranger in the city?" said he. "Yes." "Where are you from ?" "Georgia." "Georgia, Georgia? In this State?" said the fellow, looking puzzled. This sorter stirred me up, for thinks L if this fellow don't know where Georgia is he must be mighty green, so I sailed in to inform him that Georgia was a great and grand old State, that I was from there and that I wanted to fijid Bill Mickelberry. Before I had time to pass any more words with this gentleman he was called away to wait upon customers, while I proceded to make the acquaint? ance of every fellow who came near me. It don't take acquaintances lor g to accumulate if you strike the right channel. I had struck it, and pretty soon I was one of a large crowd who all seemed more than willing to discuBS the virtues of their respective States. I felt a little cowed as one after the other related what great industries thrived and what great produots were common to this, that and the obher State. How I did wish that George Truitt was there with mo, to tell them about the wonderful growth of cotton down in Georgia. George wasn't there, and all the crowd had ome round to the place where they waited and looked as if they expected some? thing from me. I wasn't to sit there and not hold old Georgia up, and so, as the 1 'schooners" were filled again. 1 squared myself for the onset, ana poured it into them about thusly: "Speaking about corn," said,I, as I cleared my throat and turned towaid a six-foot Missourian who had been relating about it being common for land in his State to yield from 15(1 to 200 bushels per acre. "Corn is not raised in my settlement down in Geor gia. Just here the waiters disturbed us by crowding the beer upon the tab?es, .and I was glad of it, for it give me a chance to sorter collect my thoughts and wet my throat, as well as to "nerve up" so that my old State would not fall behind. I went on again after a few sips of the beer. "You see, gentlemen, the grand old State of Georgia has progressed to s ich an extent in the matter of railroad mileage, together with its network of electric car lines, that it makes it almost out of the question to r?ise corn in the State, and especially in my settlement?close to Atlanta?it would be dangerous." As I stopped here to take another sip of beer, the whole crowd moved up nearer to me and I could see that they seemed puzzled to understand what railroads had to do with the raising of corn. ? "You see," I went on, "corn grows so high and large that it falls across the tracks and blocks things the same as if it was trees." ? A fellow in the crowd, from the State of Texas, gave a long sigh as I closed my remarks and this caused me ta^go on and and tell them about, as hbw it was recently that the old Geor? gia railroad, from Atlanta to Auguiita, had to suspend operations for three days to get the pumpkins moved out of the cuts and off from the tracks. Even squashes have been known to block a railroad in one night's growth on the soil of Georgia, and wator melons, it's getting so it won't do to fool with them at all. There was silence for a moment after I had closed, when the long Missourian called for the beer, remark? ing: "I thought I wag a good one? the drinks are on Missouri; three cheers for Georgia!" If you will all notice, it is mighty seldom that Georgia gets left in any? thing, but her citizens who visit this World's Fair will feel the absence of a Georgia display there. The State has furnished its quota of visitors and they compare favorably with people from anywhere ; the papers of Georgia have given splendid reports of the Exposi? tion, but all feel this absence of the State. Especially has the Constitution been well represented at the Fair, and to keep up with Maude Andrews through the paper is better than going there, lessen you can find Bill Mickel? berry after you do get there. When I went to leave my resting place at the saloon the Texas fellow sauntered on out with me. He want ed a private word with me. Said he : "How much docs your State pay you for coming here ?" This was a surprise to me. The idea of the State of Georgia paying me to visit the World's Fair. I expressed my surprise to the Texan, when he went on: "You are not up to snuff, old* man. With your capacity as a liar you should get monstrous good wages for being here. You see me," said he. as he straightened to Mb full height. "L get a hundred a month and all expen? ses*" "Nothing.to do but lie?" I asked. "That's all," said the Texan, "and I have Just received a letter from the Governor stating that it's the best investment the State of Texas ever made. This made mo scratch my head and study, while the Texan went on: * "Missouri pays that fellow in the saloon $150 per month and all expen? ses, the State of Illinois has twenty three men here at a large salary for eaoh, while the city of Chicago, single handed, has set aside two millions of the city's funds for the purpose." "Wonderful," I muttered. "Not a bit unreasonable," spoke up the Texas fellow. "It pays, it's busi? ness, and a man of your capacity should be engaged." I didn't know what to do, but to stand and1 study, when the Texan went on: "If you, old man, was a citizen of Texas, or Missouri or Illinois?any enterprising State?your fortune would be made. All the world has its liars here. They are trained?profession? als. Its nothing to me, but I hate to see such talent as yours wasted." With this the Texas fellow moved hack into the saloon and I spent the balance of the day trying to find a place to put up at for the night. I paid three dollars for standing room, and stood till the sun brightened up the east the next morning, then I eat no idle bread all that day striving to find a bed for the next night, but narry bed, so I took the first train I could get to come back to Georgia, and if ever I go to Chicago again you may Bay that I am crazy. You need not be afraid of "seeing sights." It used to be a saying of Brown's that he "seed sights." Sometimes this means one thing* and sometimes another. With me it means that I caught thunder, as I always have done in the great and grand city of Chicago. Sarge Plunkett. Pretty Girls For Ushers. To the Duryea Presbyterian Church in Clermont avenue, Brooklyn, belongs the credit of first introducing women ushers into the church, audit must be confessed that the novelty was a very pleasing one to the young men and also to the majority of the church' members. The plan was tried last night at the anniversary of the organ? ization of the Society of Christian En? deavor. At a meeting of the Young People's Association of the church last Sunday night it was decided to try the plan. The object of it was to influence the young men to come more frequently to the services of the church. The young ladies of the congregation are very backward about attempting the usher? ing of strange young men to the pews, but finally two young ladies bdldly de? cided that they would act, even if there wasn't a single girl or man to as? sist them. These yound ladies were Miss Cora E. Cassady and Miss Aletta Johnson. Last night when the time for servi? ces came these two intrepid young women found two assistants who had decided to co-operate with them. These were Miss Belle A. Noble and Miss Georgia A. Kimball. Miss No? ble and Mise Kimball took the right aisle and Miss Cassady and Miss Johnson the left. It was odd to watch them. At first they were undecided whether to go up to the young men who entered the church, but finally, remembering their mission, they would muster up courage, step gracefully forward, and, bowing to the visitor, give him a program of the services. Then they found him a seat. Many of the young men grew timid when they saw the fair usher awaiting them, but after awhile the novelty wore off and the volunteer mission? aries were as much at home as they would be in a ball room,. and were quite as graceful and just as charming. The two young women upon whom most of the work devolved were Miss Noble and Miss Cassady. Mi?s Noble was dressed in a black gown, with fine white stripes, and wore a pretty black hat to match. She is a very pretty blonde, and there wasn't a man who didn't vjfsh to be shown a scat by her. Each comer?male, of course?was greeted with a smile that he will sure? ly remember next time he feels in? clined to stay away from church, and when once shown into a pew there was no getting out of it. Miss Cassaday, who did the work on the other side of the church, is a handsome woman, too. She is a bru? nette with dark eyes and hair. Her gown was in the prevailing style, with Eton jacket, and her hat was a garden of red roses and beautiful trimmings. Her movements were easy and grace? ful. When she seated anyone she did it with an air that truly said that the recipient of her attentions might con? sider himself in luck. She was thoroughly impartial in her attentions, and ushered a negro to a seat far in the front with the same graciousness that she escorted the best-dressed man in the congregation up the aisle. The women, too, met with the same treatment at her white gloved hands. As the throng of men crowded into the church the pastor, the Rev. John E. Fray, of the congregation, leaned back in his pulpit and congratulated himsef upon his idea of having such charming young ushers. Miss Johnson and Miss Kimball, although they did some good work, were rather bashful, and left the brunt of the ushering upon Miss Noble and Miss Cassady. They, however, were equal to all demands upon them. Miss Noble said: "It was rather em? barrassing at first, but I have now be? come used to it and I don't mind it so much. We have been so successful in this novelty that we will continue it every Sunday night. "Sould this plan prove successful and attract more young men to church than have come hitherto, the male ushers will be crowded out of the field, because in church work these days the ministers seem to think that the "young man" is the all-im? portant one to save."?New York Times. ? An industrious statistician comes out with the startling announcement that the population of the world, which is estimated at 1,400,000,000, if divid? ed in families of five, could be all accommodated in Texas, each family with a five acre lot, and have 50,000, 000 lots over for parks and things. It must have been a Texas statistician. BILL ARP Mftkei Some Stiggestlons on the Finan? cial Situation. Atlanta Constitution. Now is the time for everybody to show their charity and their goodwill. Let us all divide out and help one another. The papers all say that there is plenty of money, and the- banks that have suspended have got plenty of assets and if confidence could be restored everything would become calm and serene again. Well, let us all take on confidence and divide out with one another. A man told me that he knew of one man in Atlanta who had shifted all his money into gold, and had 820,000 of it locked -up in a private drawer in one of the banks, and there were lots of men who had from $5,000 to $10,000 locked up in the same way, and they were waiting to see what Congress was going to do with silver. That is all wrong. That gold ought to be turned loose. I want a little of it right now. Let us come to a divide until this trouble is over. When the war was over and everybody was as poor as Lazarus there were a few here and there who had, notes on their neighbors. The stay law had prevented them from collecting, but when that law played out we poor fel? lows who owed a little ante-bellum money were suddenly invited to pay it and it took us years and years to do it. We were pursued and pursued. My friend Bill Fort told me that it was an outrage, and it was. All our substance destroyed and now these debts to hang over us world without end and so Fort tried to get up a town meeting and pass resolutions to have a big bonfire in the middle of the street and let everybody who had a note or a debt on anybody be called upon to come forward like patriots and cast the note or the debt into the fire and then let us all take a new start in the world. I thought it was a splen? did idea, and when we began to agitate it was discovered that nobody was in favor of it except those who owed the money. Patriotism is one thing and money is another. They are no kin. But now it seems to me is a good time for everybody to come to a reasonable divide. I will divide with anybody who will divide with me, though I am in Jim Perkin's fix right now. Jim never had any money to speak of, but he always held his head up like a gen? tleman. One day a poor countryman who knew Jim and looked up to him took him aside and begged him for a loan of $5 until harvest. Jim seemed very "much distressed and told the poor fellow that he didn't have that much in the world. Then the poor fellow lowered his sights and asked for $3, and Jim said he didn't have that much. "Well, let me have $1," said he and Jim said: "Jack, I hate to ac? knowledge it, but I'll swear before high heaven I haven't had a dollar in a month. No, I haven't had a dog-on cent." The times are awful hard, but if we will all come to a divide nobody will suffer. It's no time to be drawing on a man through a bank when the bank wouldn't lend you a cent. Banks were established to help the people in just such times, and Atlanta brags on her banks, but you can't borrow a dollar through the front door. They say there is a back door or ground floor somewhere, but I couldn't find it. I was willing to take silver, but they did not have it, I reckon. I don't like for anybody to draw on me through a bank. What has the bank got to do with a man when they won't help him lap over or bridge over the bloody chasm. Here I.am without a dollar and can't buy a chicken or pay the preacher and ever and anon get a love letter through the mail saying they have drawn upon me through the bank for that little account that has been running so long. Well, as the boy said to the molasses, "just let her run." I'm in a strain just now. It is the first time in fif? teen years that I didn't have a dollar in my pocket or somewhere within reach. I can't feel like a gentleman. I don't go down town. I'm waiting for something to happen. Tried to sell some literature, but they smiled and said they were not dealing in luxuries now?at least they were not paying cash, but would give me a duebill. "What can I do with .it?" said I. "Keep it," they said, "until things turn loose again." So I took it for better or for worse, and I will divide it with anybody who is as bad off as I am. Let us all divide. Now is the time a man wants an office?a salary that comes in every month. Now is the time that these office-holders ought to come to a divide. If every man had an office what a glorious world it would be. Great piles of money to come pouring in to every family. That is the way it is up north. Every other man you meet in the road has got an office or a pension. Illinois gets $12, 000,000 for pensions this year, and then there are the office-holders be- j sides and the grab at the World's Fair and we poor miserable sinners down | south not only get nothing, but have to help pay it all. If Mr. Cleveland had been a little bigger around his waist he would have given our boys all the offices as a set-off. There are bowels of mercies and bowels of com? passion according to scripture and Mr. ! Cleveland ought to have them and help our people out. I sec that the Bostou Herald has figured it up and says that the south has paid to the north $350, 000,000 on the pension account, and that it is likely to run on for half a century longer. Don't it make your blood boil this hot weather to think about it? Here I am without a dollar and can't buy a chicken and company is comipg next week and I owe the butcher and the baker and the preach? er and my taxes are coming on, and yet in the face of all these I hear the same old call for more pension money. Nearly every man and woman north of the line stands around the public treasury with their mouths open like young birds in a nest and say to the paternal government: "Daddy, drop another bug in here." They greedily swallow all the millions that come from pensions and the government contracts for the army and navy and nine-tenths of all the offices, and these pious hypocrites will go to church on Sunday with a gold bound-hymn book under their arms and thank God in their prayers that they are not as those publicans down south. But"the weather is too hot to ruminate upon such things, and we will try to be calm and serene. Bill Arp. Bncklens Arnica Halve. The best salve in the world for Cuts Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, Totter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup? tions and positively cures Piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money refund? ed. Prise 25 cents pcrbox. For sale by Hill Bros, READS LIKE ROMANCE. c A Tale 0f Love, War and Revenue almost Unparalleled. HDHQ- i-1 ? Among the news--brought^ up from Panama by the St/Paul yesterday is a tale of love, war 'and revenge that reads more like a dime novel story than a plain statement of facts, says the San Francisco Examiner. Herbert L. Brummer, a Russian by birth, but an American boy by adop? tion, left his desk in the office of a New York merchant about three years ago to try his luck in Central America. He was a master of the Spanish lan? guage, and soon after reaching Nica raupa he drifted into the army. His first commission was that of Lieutenant, and he held that position for about a year, when he resigned and took up a plantation. He raised coffee and pineapples until the revolution broke out a few months ago, when he again entered the army. This time he entered as a colonel in the forces of the insurgents under Gen. Savablas, who was one of Brum? mer's best friends. The dashing young colonel soon won considerable fame as a warrior, and he also attract? ed the attention of General Santagua, who invited him to his house and in? troduced him to his daughter. The young lady was the belle of the coun? try and had hosts of admirers, who naturally looked upon Brummer as an intruder. Among the young lady's admirers -was the colonel of a cavalry regiment, who swore to kill Brummer the first chance he got. Colonel Perlotte openly boasted of his intention of putting his rival out of the way, and Brummer was advised to be on his guard, but he only laughed and said he could take oare of himself easily enough. The first trouble came when the pair met at dinner in a hotel and were giv? en seats opposite each other. Brum? mer, who had been drinking rather heavily, made some remark that the hot-headed Nicaraguan construed as an insult, and struck Brummer on the face with his open hand. The next instant Brummer sprang to his feet, and before the astonished guests could realize what was up he seized Perlotte, dragged him from the room and beat him until he was nearly dead. It took the Nicaraguan some time to recover sufficiently to resume his du? ties in the saddle, and he swore to have.his revenge. One night, soon after the attack on Rivas, where Brummer had won high praise for his daring and bravery, he was on his way back to his quarters, after spending the evening with friends. Suddenly he was surrounded by armed troopers, thrown on a horse and hur? ried off into the mountains. He was closely guarded for two days, when Colonel Perlotte appeared, and he informed Brummer that the time had come when he would have his revenge for the terrible beating he had received, and he wanted Brummer to know that a slow, lingering death was to be his fate. Perlotte then spit in his victim's face and ordered him to be placed in a small cave, where he was laid on the floor with his hands and feet securely bound. Rocks were then piled in front of the entrance and Brummer left to his fate. Perlotte feigned to be as much sur? prised as anybody over his rival's dis? appearance and spread the report that he had been killed. Brummer would never have been heard of again had not one of the troopers, who hated Perlotte, given information that led , Vagues to send a squad of men to the ' cave, where on rolling back the stones they found Brummer more dead than alive. Everyone expected that Brummer would shoot Perlotte on sight, but he did nothing of the sort, and Perlotte's friends began to hint at a faint heart, and lost courage. But Brummer was only waiting to clear the road for his escape from the country after his ven? geance should be completed. One night while going his rounds of the sentinels Perlotte was suddenly seized, bound gagged and thrown into a cart driven by Brummer, and by daylight the following morning was a dozen miles from his quarters and in a very sparsely settled part of the coun? try. Brummer dragged his victim out of the cart and sat him against the wheel until the party had eaten breakfast, when he informed Perlotte of the fate he had in stooe for him. This section of the country is infest? ed with a species of tiny black ants which build large mounds, and are about as vindictive an insect as can be found anywhere in the world. "I am going to stake jtou down and let the ants eat you," said Brummer, as he cut the cords on his victim's legs. Four stout stakes were taken from the wagon and driven into the ground around one of the largest ant hills, and then the victim was stripped to the skin. Pcrlotte screamed, cursed and pray? ed, but he had shown no mercy when he had left Brummer to die iu the cave, and he received none now. Ten peons dragged him to the stakes, tied his feet securely to two of them, kicked the ant hill to pieces and then threw Perlotte on his back and quickly bound his wrists to the other two stakes. In an instant the writhing victim was covered with the terrible ants and was being literally eaten alive by them. Brummer remained long enough to make sure that his enemy was dead, and then, leaping on a horse, he made his way to the coast and escaped to New York on a sailing vessel. Three days after Perlotte had dis? appeared his skeleton was discovered, but every particle of flesh had disap? peared, and the bones looked as if they had been bleached.?A Nexo York Ex? change. Catarrh Cannot Be Cored with Local Applications, as they cannot reach the seat of the disease. Catarrh is a blood or constitutional disease, and in order to cure it you must take internal remedies. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces. Hall's Catarrh Cure is not a quack medicine. It was prescribed by one of the best physicians in this country for years, and is a regular pre? scription. It is composed of the best tonics known, combined with .the best blood purifiers, acting directly on the mucous sin-faces. The perfect combi? nation of the two ingredients is what produces such wonderful results in curing Catarrh. Send for testimonials free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props., Toledo, 0. Bgk.Sold by druggists, price 75c. ? Bertie?"You say he called you a donkey. I'd kick him with both feet." Fred?"Just so. Any donkey would do that!" ' ?. He Got Sne. - *3R Every one of us on the car spotted them for a bridal couple as they got on at the small station, but there:was that about the groom that claimed ev? eryone's attention; he had a pair of badly bruised and blackened eyes and a skinned nose. It was plain that he had had a fight, and we were all curi? ous, and an hour later, when he went to the smoking car several of us went in and asked for an explanation. "Yes, I had a fout,' he said, as he lighted his briar-root. "I had to hev a fout to git Sue." "There was a rival then?" "Reckon not. Never seen any ri? vals 'round thar. Nobody but me and Sue and her folks." "But who did you fight with?" "Sue's pop, in course. He'un gin me these yere black eyes." "Didn't he want you to marry the girl?" ? "Oh! he'un was willing 'nuff, but he said I'd got to lick him fust. Over a y'ar ago he'un took me out into the bresh and says: 0<<<Torm, air you agwine fur tobe spliced to that gal o' mine?' " "If she'll hev me," says I. " 'Whoop,' says he, as he craoks his heels together, but nobody kin be spliced to Sue till they air big enough to whip her ole dad.' [ " Til grow fur ye,' says I, and with that he cracks his heels some mo' and crows like a rooster and says he'll be ready any time I am. I was dun ready I yesterday. I goes over to the house and says to the ole man: j " 'Uncle Eben, I'm yere fur to be spliced to Sue.' " 'Whoop! Whoopee!' he yells, 'but yo' dun remember what I told yo'! The reptile as splices Sue has got to liok her ole dad!' , j " 'That's what I'm yere fur. Come out into the co'nfield and I'll wollop I yo' till yo' can't holler!' " 'That tickles the ole critter half to death. We goes down and peels off and spits on our hands, and he'un cracks his heels and crows and yells at me: j j '"Tom, yo' ar' my mutton. I'll make yo' cry like a baby before I hit yo' twice! Look out now, fur Bald j Mountain is gwine to hit yo' right j atween the eyes!' j " 'With that the fout begun. We tore up hills o' co'n. We pawed up J the airth. We raised a dust like a I drove of cattle. He'un was as hard as hickory-nuts and as quick as cats, but j I knowed I had to lick him or lose Sue. I knowed, too, that Sue was in the cabin a pray in' fur me to lam h?1 out of the ole cuss, and I fit as I nev? er fit befo', It lasted half an hour and then he'un hollered.' j " 'Was he hurt any worse than you were?' "Wall, when the old woman came J out to help lug he'un in she'un didn't j know him by sight. He'un couldn't j stand up at the ceremony, and he won't see to cut his toe nails for about j fo' weeks to come." j "But wasn't he mad at you after? wards?" "Reckon not. Reckon he'un hed ho cause to be. He'un just whooped and crowed and cracked and said as how I'd hev to lam him fust, and so I lammed. Oh, no; he'un wasn't mad. When we'uns got ready to come away he'un whooped a little whoopee and calls out to me: J " 'Tom, durn yo'r shackelty hide, j but it war' a fa'r fout and yo' downed the ole man and got the gal, and if yo' git dead broke up thar' at Asheville send me word and I'll sell the ole mewl fur seven dollars and send yo' the money.'" j Slept With His Spurs On, "Yes," said the old man with a smile, "I remember one time in par? ticular, while out prospecting with an old friend, about twenty years ago. We were traveling on horseback, and came across a tavern one night about ten o'clock. Being very tired and J hungry, as soon as we got some sup? per, and something warm to keep the cold out, we asked to be shown to our I room. I On looking around we found that I the room had two beds in it, one of which was already occupied by two strangers, who were both snoring J lustily. The fact of their being two j beds in the room did not surprise us, as in baekwood taverns there were fre? quently three beds in a room.^ We undressed, and just as I was going to blow out the light, my friend, who had got into bed, espied the foot of one of the strangers sticking through the bed clothes at the foot of the bed. With a suppressed chuckle he motion? ed me to hold on a moment; he got quietly out of bed, and going to where the stranger's boots were, he took off a huge, sharp Mexican spur, and care? fully adjusted it to the bare heel of the unconscious stranger. With an? other audible chuckle as he thought of the consequences that would follow when the stranger drew in his foot,, he got back into bed, and I blew out the light and followed him. He soon managed to get a long straw from the bed and reached over and tickled the sleeper's foot. He instantly drew his leg up until his knees almost touched his chin. In doing so, he drew the spur the whole length of his bed-fel? low's leg, making a bad soratch. The victim uttered a yell, and sprang out of bed with a muttered exclamation that I did not make out, and he com? menced a wild dance around the room, with his nether garment under his arms, and making frantic efforts either J to dislocate his neck, or to see how J badly he was hurt, all the while mak- j ing exclamations that would have made a baggage man with a Saratoga trunk on his shoulders turn green with envy. The innocent cause of all the trouble had been awakened at the first yell of the victim, and in straighten-1 ing himself out, scratched himself most unmercifully. He did not yell I nor say bad words, but he jumped out of bed and made for his friend with the purpose of taking vengeance, 11 supposed; but he had not taken two steps before he jabbed the spur into his leg again. The landlord then ap? peared with a light, followed by half I the boarders in the h^use, and inquired J what the matter was. An examina? tion brought to light the spur, which explained the matter. The stranger looked sheepishly at the spur, then at his cratch, and finally examined his boots, and with a sickly smile said: "Well, boys, I have lived all my life among people who wear spurs, but I never before saw a man who could pull off his boot and leave his spurs on his foot. I'll treat in the morning." ? A well is being sunk at Wheel? ing, W. Va., which has already reach? ed u depth of three-quarters of a mile, but what is causing wonder to geolo? gists is that no water is yet struck, although the boring is through hori? zontal parts, Gare tbe Tiger a Bath. ? 1I - ? CD "When Pezon, the lion tamer, was at Moscow with his menagerie he had occasion to employ a moujik, a fine specimen of a Cossack, to clean out the cages of the wild beasts. The Cos? sack did not understand a word of French, and the terms of the contract were settled in dumb show. By way of instrncting him in new duties Pez? on went through a sort of pantomine with the broom, sponge and water bucket. The moujik watched him closely and appeared %to fully under? stand the details of the lessons given. Next morning, armed with a broom, a bucket and a sponge, he opened the first cage he came to and quietly stepped in. as he had seen his master step on the previous day into two cages of harmless brutes, but this one happened to be tenanted by a splendid but untamed tiger that lay strefohed on the floor fast asleep. At the noise made by opening and closing the door the creature raised its head and turned its green eyes full on the man, who, all unconscious of his danger, stood in a corner dipping his big sponge into the bucket. At that moment Tamer Pezon came out of his caravan, and was struck dumb by the terrible sight that met his gaze. What could he do to warn the man of his danger? A sound, a movement on his part might enrage the great beast and hasten its attack on the defence? less Cossack. So Pezon stood, wait? ing developments; ready to rush to the scene when the crisis came. The moujik, sponge in hand, coolly approached the tiger and made ready to rub him down with the stolidity of a military boot-black polishing his cap? tain's boots. The sudden application of cold water to its hide evidently produced a very agreeable effect on the tiger, for it began to purr, stretched out its long, silken paws, rolled over on its back, and complacently offered every part of its body to the vigorous treatment of the moujik, who went on scrubbing with might and main. All the while Pezon stood with his eyes wide open, and as if nailed to the spot. When he had finished his job the Cossack left the cage as quietly as he had en? tered it, and it required the most en? ergetic and expressive gestures on the part of the lion-tamer to prevent his repeating the experiment on a" second wild beast. Loneliness of the Pacific. I notice an item in the press stating that the City of Peking in her recent trip sailed 1,240 miles without meet? ing a single sail, and this fact is cited as showing the loneliness of the.JPa cific Ocean. In the summer of 1850 I left San Francisco on a sail vessel (formerly from Baltimore) for Panama distant 4,000 miles, and on the entire route, which lasted forty-three days, we never saw a sail I Loneliness is no word for it, especially- when we lay becalmed in the tropics, with our ves? sel floating as helplessly about as a chip on a mill pond, the ground swell keeping up the monoton1 is roll of the vessel from side to side all day and ni/jht and day aft or day, each roll being accompanied by a flap of the sails and a creaking of the flap of the wings and the wail of lost spir? its. When we read about Noah and his ark we are apt to think that he must have had rather a lonely time, but then he was out only forty days, and besides, with all the animals, etc., on? board, he had plenty to occupy his time and attention, and if he wanted amusement to while away his time he had only to start a sparring match be? tween his monkeys and parrots. True, there is no report of such proceeding on his part, but that is doubtless be? cause there was no modern newspaper reporter on board. I tell you a man cannot realize what loneliness or com? fort is until he has made some such trip, and if he wants to complete his education in that line he should pre? face it with a tramp of 2,000 miles over the mountains and across the deserts amid wolves and wild Indians, as thousands of 49-ers did.?Washing? ton Star. Hew. She Knew It was God's Book. She sat behind her neatly arranged fruit stand?a girl of fourteen?ab? sorbed in reading her Bible. She did not near the footsteps of a gentleman who was passing by, and was startled by his question: "What are you reading that inter? ests you so?" "The Word of God, sir," she timid? ly replied. "Who told you that the Bible is the Word of God?" the gentleman in? quired. "God told me Himself," she replied with childlike innocence. "God told you? Impossible!" How did he tell you ? You have never seen Him, nor talked with Him. How, then, could He tell you that the Bible is His Word ?" For a few seconds the girl seemed confused, but she very soon recovered herself, and her ready wit came to her aid. There was a flash in her dark eyes as she asked : "Sir, who told you that there is a sun yonder in the blue sky above us?" "Who told me," said the man, smiling somewhat contemptuously, for he fancied that the girl was trying to hide her ignorance under an irrelevant question. "Who told me ? Nobody, 1 did not need to be told. The sun tells me this about itself. It warms me and I love its light. That is tell? ing me plain enough," "Sir," said the girl with intense earnestness, as she stood before him with clasped hands, "you have put it right for both Bible and sun. That is the way God tells me in His book. I read it and it warms me and gives me life. I love its light, and no one but God can give such light and warmth through the pages of a book. It must be His. I do not want more telling ; that is telling enough, sir. As sure as God is in heaven, so sure is God shin? ing through this book." The skeptic was abashed. The earnest faith of the young fruit seller amazed him. He could adroitly insinuate doubts into the minds of those who have only giv? en an intellectual assent to the truth that the Bible is God's book, but the girl's heart experience of the power of God's Word was an evidence he could not shake.?Messiah's Herald. ? Naturalists are deeply interested in five young owls of unknown species which have been discovered in a barn at Swedesboro, N. J. The birds have faces like monkeys, are covered with a white down nearly an inch long, and their wings, which are sparsely covered with light brown feathers, have a spread of nearly three feet. When disturbed the queer birds fight vigor? ously with their claws. ill Sorts of Paragraphs. ? "When you try to be good, try to be good for something. ? Ceylon has cinamon plantations covering 36,000 acres. ? Cast your trouble upon the Lord and he will sustain thee. " ! ? The model mother never forgets that she was a child herself. ? Cattle were introduced into Vir? ginia in 1609, into New England in j 1624. ?: ? The. Queen of Corea has a lady physician who gets a salary of $15,000 ? A rattlesnake in the Zoo at At? lanta, Ga., has not eaten anything since last August. ? Not One person in a thousand can . remember a great sermon, but nobody can forget an act of kindness. ? The Mohawk Indians will not allow so much as a blade of grass to grow upon the graves of their compan? ions'. ? Not?What makes Grimes shaped so like a corkscrew ? Dot?His wife's constant twisting him around her little finger. ? A hardware dealer of Albion, N. Y., announces that to every one pur? chasing a wheelbarrow he will give a free ride home in it. ? If you climb to any high place in this world do not forget the point from - which you started, nor the friends that helped you on the way. ? Three things ruin a man. To know little and talk much; to have ' little and spend much ; and to be worth little and presume much. ? The woman who paints her cheeks and the man who dyes his whiskers never fool but one person. ? The old style used to be "I now take my pen in hand." Nowadays the correct phrase would be, "I now begin to thump my typewriter." ? The devil as a devil never gained a soul. It is only when he appears an angel of light that he is dangerous. ^? In the Spring of 1892 a Hunga? rian Jew sent to a Vienna paper a grain of wheat on which he had written 309 words taken from Sissot's book on ' Vienna. ? There are some words in the Chinese language that have as many as forty different meanings, each depending on the intonation used in pronouncing it. ? "Cool as a cucumber" is hot a '; piece of slang but a scientific fact, the temperature of the vegetable being always a degree below that of the sur? rounding atmosphere. ? "Yes. George, I'll marry you," >' said the maiden to her ardent lover, "but we'll have to elope." "Why ?'' ? asked he, in surprise. "Papa says he can't afford a wedding." ? Young Man?So Miss Ella is 111 your oldest sister ? Who comes after her? Small Brother?Nob?y ain't come as yet; but pa says the first fellow that comes can have her. ? "This baby of yours seem pretty solid," said Hankinson, holding Tomp kins' baby up in his arms. "Of course, he is," retorted Tompkins; "did you think he was prated ?" > -c^p. ? Men kissing one anotherls a for eign custom which has never found favor in America. Our men can find so much better kinsing that they don't care to waste time on each other. ? He: Is there anything I can do to prove my affection for you? She: ; Yes. Marry my sister. She is older than I, and mamma is determined to not let me marry till sister is disposed of. ? Of one thousand men who marry three hundred and thirty-two marry ^ younger women, five hundred and sixty-nine marry women of the same age, and eight-nine marry older wo? men. ? In Madagascar a dissatisfied hus- ? band has only to give his wife a piece of money and say, "Madam, I thank you," and, according to the laws of Madagascar, he is divorced straight? away. ? Some idea of the slaughter of elephants can be secured from the fact that in Zanzibar alone some 500, 000 pounds of ivory are marketed ev? ery season from the tusks of 10,000 elephants. ? She: It is true that Miss Rich-^-^ leigh has money, but she is also very exacting. If you marry her you will have to give up smoking and drinking. He: If I don't marry her I shall have to gi 'e up eating. ? The soil in Egypt is tilled by ex? actly the same kind of plow as that used there 5,000 years ago. The fur? rows are made extremely shallow, and Ithe clods are further broken up with a big wooden cudgel. ? A curious superstition prevails in Norway. When the people are in quest of a drowned body, they row to a"hd fro with a rooster in the boat, fully expecting that the bird will crow when the boat reaches the spot where the corpse lies. ? Little Dick: Papa, didn't you tell mamma we must economize?, Papa: I did, my son. Little Dick: Well, I was thinkin' that mebby if you'd get me a pony I wouldn't wear out so many shoes. ? Ayer's Hair Vigor, is cleanly, agreeable, beneficial, and safe. It is the most elegant and the most econom? ical of toilet preparations. By its use ladies can produce an abundant growth of hair, causing it to become natural in color, lustre, and texture. ? She?You are the first one who ever kissed-me that way. He?You mean you never Wore felt a lover's kiss. She?No, 1 u. " that no one before ever missed my mouth and hit my nose three times out of five. ? Asa Hefner, a Maryland farmer residing near Sykesville, gave Iiis guests wheat bread at a 6 o'clock sup? per the other evening that was made from grain that was growing in his field at 11 o'clock that morning. ? As a hair dressing and for the prevention of baldness,. Ayer's Hair Vigor has no equal in merit and effici? ency. It eradicates dandruff, keeps the scalp moist, clean, and healthy, and gives- vitality and color to weak, faded, and gray hair. The most popu? lar of toilet articles. ? "I don't see anything remarkable about the looks of this man," said a visitor to the dime museum. "What's he here for?" "That man'* said the lecturer, "took $10 home with him after a two weeks' stay in Chicago."? Detroit Free Press. ? A Russian physician has been ?? making some curious experiments to find out how far animals can count. He declares that the crow can count up to ten and is thereby superior ia arithmetic to certain Polynesian tribes of men, who cannot get behind five orial