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gafersw Intelligenter. N. E.W TERMS. IIATES OF SUBSCRIPTION^ One copy for one year. - - S 2.50 " " 11 six months, - " 1.2? Ten copies for one year, ? * 20 00 Twenty copies 44 " - ? 37.50 The clubs of ten and twenty will be sent to any address. Subscriptions will not be received for a less period than six months. RATES OF ADVERTISING. Advertisements will be inserted at the rate of One Dollar per square of one inch space for the first insertion and Fifty Cents for each subsequent insertion. Liberal contracts made with those wishing to advertise by the three, six or twelve months. Obituary notices exceeding ten lines will be onarged for at advertising rates. For announcing candidates, Five Dollars in each case, invariably in advance. The National Schoolmaster. a deluge of public documents?senator stockton on the franking privilege. We Copy from the Congressional Globe a re? port of the speech delivered by Senator Stock? ton, of New Jersey, on the abolition of the franking privilege. The raillery addressed to the Republican members on the intolerable bore of their speeches, against which the peo? ple protest in their petitions for the abolition, will be found pleasant reading: Mr. Stockton"?Mr. President, I was called out of the Senate Chamber a few minutes ago, and when> I went out the Senator from Wiscon? sin. (M.r Howe) was speaking on this bill; and as I passed out of the Chamber I heard him say that if the object of this franking privilege was to enable us to be schoolmasters and edu? cate the people he would send all' his speeches to his Democratic friends to enlighten them. Last night the Senator from Nevada (Mr. Stew? art) said he was in favor of this bill because he would like the Democrats to have an opportu? nity of printing their speeches on the bill to enforce the fifteenth amendment. Now, Mr. President, I always listen to the Senator from Wisconsin and the Senator from Nevada with great interest. I trust that my constituents, having afforded me the great pleasure of sitting here and listening to them, of taking advantage of their grace of manner as well as their beauty of diction, it will be long before thev recall me from these halls and deprive me of that estima? ble privilege. (Laughter.) But, sir, in the ordinary course of human events I may be taken away; and then what a consolation in my declining years to be able to read the beau? tifully rounded periods of my friends on the other side, to be enabled to lay down those "grand old masters whose footsteps sound through the corriders of time," and take up the speeches of the Senator from Nevada and the Senator from Wisconsin, to console the closing hours of my life. A happy retirement passed in receiving those valuable documents! (Laugh? ter.) But, sir, I hope that I shall always have two cents on hand to pay for the document when it arrives; and if I do not, perhaps a grateful constituency ma}' make some provision, so that I may console myself in my declining years in that way without putting the country to the enormous expense now imposed upon it. Mr. President, these petitions have come in here as the great spontaneous outpourings of an ove?-burdened people. They come to Con? gress praying you to abolish this enormity which is pressing them. They poured in their petitions day by day and hour by hour, until the Senate had not time to receive them, but had to make a general rule that they should be handed in at the Secretary's table without the ceremony of presentation. The House of Rep? resentatives passed this bill in hot haste to tdease their constituents; and yet the Senate seems to be inclined, not to kill it decently, not to kill the mcasvre promptly, not to vote direct? ly upon it, but to worry it to death, as a dog would worry a cat; to make it die in spasms, in fits. Can they not let it die decently ? Mr. President, remember that it was stated last night by the Senator from Wisconsin (Mr. Car? penter) that there were thirty-three thousand people who had the franking privilege. Out of that thirty-three thousand who have the frank? ing privilege how many of them arc Demo? crats? There is not an office-holder who is a Democrat. Nobody but members of the House of Representative and the Senate?seventy-five Democrats?out of thirty-three thousand frank? ing officials, at the outside. But, sir, whv :'s it the people come here to beg you to abolish the franking privilege ? The Senator from Wis? consin tells us that he has spent $300 out of his own pocket to send Republican speeches all over the country, and that $00,000 was spent in sending speeches from Washington throughout the country. I should like, as I said before, to pass my declining years in reading those speeches. But I have an infatuated constituen? cy. (Laughter.) They have become sick, they are nauseated with this stuff that has been sent from Congress to them under these thirty-three thousand franks, and they hope and pray you to abolish it. Their stomachs will stand* no more of what has been ?ent to them. (Laugh? ter.) They have asked you for a fish and you have sent them a serpent. They have asked you for bread? Mr. Warner?Allow me to ask the Sena? tor Mr. Thurman?No, oh, no; do not inter? rupt Mr. Stockton?The country will never know now how that sentence would have end? ed, on account of the Senator's interruption. (Laughter.) The Senate will never know ; pos? terity will never know; you, Mr. President will never know; the world will never know how that sentence would have terminated on account of the unfortunate interruption of the Sjnator from Alabama. Mr. Drake?I hope the Senator from New Jersey when he scintillates on that side of the Chamber will not confine it to that particular region, hut will allow us to hear him on this side. Mr. Stockton?Mr. President, can you im? agine?perhaps some of you have witnessed such scenes?a boat at sea with a shipwrecked 'irev, and women and children on board. On the third or fourth day the last drop is out of the fresh water. After a day or two a man be? comes insane and jumps overboard; and then another, unable to endure his agony any long? er, leans over the side and drinks the salt wa? ter and drinks his own destruction, drinks poison at every drop he drains. Sir, that has Seen the effect of the franking privilege on the people. The people were athirst and they cried out for relief, and vou sent them, not pure water, not what would quench their thirst, but you sent them a nauseating draught that drov<; them to delirium. Therefore, the peo- 1 pie have come here, with one voice, demand? ing that you keep your medicine; they want no more of it Mr. President, I remember J when I was a boy, I think in one of Walter Scott's histories, a torture invented in the ' Highlands for an enemy, which has been con-1 sidered bv many as one of the most severe that has ever been inflicted. The prisoner was let down into a deep cavern and kept there for many days without food, and when the craving of hia hunger had become most intense they let down- a piece of salt beef, which he seized and greedily devoured. After a time, when thirst almost choked him, they let down a cup, which he seized with avidity, but the cup was found empty. So have the people of this country grasped at this yellow-covered litera? ture; so nave they seized this empty cup ; and so they have come here to Congress and said, "Abolish the franking privilege ; give us no more documents ; no more empty cups to tan? talize our thirst beyond endurance." Sir, I shall cast my' vote, heartily, freely, and do all -that in my^power I firirly can, to abolish it, be ?ftiwe Congress is not the school-master of the nation. The speeches and the lessons that are sent out from Congress to the people do no good, but harm. One would have thought that after this war was over doctrine* like those to be found in the fifth chapter of Matthew, the "Sermon on- the Mount," would have gone out from Congress, that peace was to be spread throughout the land; that the doctrines of peace would have been disseminated from out Che North to the South, and all through the country. Oh, with what joy would I have franked those documents! With what joy would thepeople have received such docu? ments ! What a glorious name would you have made for yourselves. Then Senators would not have been seen rising in this Cham? ber and saying "my Democratic friend," or "my Republican friend." We would have been one party and one people in this country from north to south, from ocean to ocean. But no; that was not the spirit that prevailed; those gentle words were not uttered; but in their place "rebel," "traitor;" "such things will nev? er be forgotten." The fact that a civil war ex? isted, that men differed in their construction of the Constitution, is overlooked altogether. This is forgotten, but not the bitter phrases. It is said that "the men who went out of this Chamber violated their oaths, committed per? jury ;" calling political offences, for the pur? pose of making an argument, by a name only found in the criminal calendar. Such were the terms and such were the speeches that have been sent broadcast throughout this land, and hence the people come to you and say: "Send us no more of them, no more Radical speech? es." "No more on't, Hal, as thou lov'st me." Now, Mr. President, I do not pretend to be a prophet ; I am as likely to be mistaken as any other person; but I tell you, abolish or do not abolish this franking privilege, and you will find out that at the bottom of the signing of of these petitions was much more than the Postmaster General and his deputies conceived, much more than the arguments that have been used in this Chamber seem to indicate; it was the outspoken voice of the people who want no more such talk as we have so often heard in this Chamber. True Charity.?Night kissed the young rose, and it bent softly to sleep. Stars shone, and pure dew-drops hung upon its bosom, and watched its sweet slumbers. Morning came with its dancing breezes, and they whispered to the young rose, and it awoke joyous and smil? ing. Lightly it danced to and fro in all the loveliness of health and youthful innocence. Then came the ardent sun-god, sweeping from the East, and he smote the young rose with his scorching rays, and it fainted. Deserted and almost heart-broken, it drooped to the dust in its loneliness and despair. Now the gentle breeze, which had been gamboling over the sea, pushing on the home-bound bark, sweeping over hill and dale?by the neat cottage and still brook?turning; the old mill, fanning the brow of disease, and frisking the curls of innocent childhood?came tripping along on her errands of mercy and love; and when she saw the voung rose she hastend to kiss it, and fondly bathed its forehead in cool, refreshing showers, and the young rose revived and looked up and smiled in gratitude to the kind breeze; but she hurried quickly away ; her generous task was performed, but not "without reward; for she soon perceived that a delicious fragrance had been poured on her wings by the grateful rose ; and the kind breeze was glad in heart, .and went away singing through the trces.-^afcus, true Charity, like the breeze, gathers fragrance from the drooping flowers it refreshes, and un? consciously reaps a reward in the performances of its offices of kindness, which steals on the heart like a rich perfume, to bless and to cheer. ? Thompson. s A Western Paradise.?The climate of .trizona in winter is liner than that of Italy. It would scarcely be possible to suggest an im? provement. I never experienced such exqui? site Christinas weather as we enjoyed during our sojourn. Perhaps fastidious people might object to the temperature in the summer, when the rays of the sun attain their maximum force and the hot winds sweep in from the desert. It is said that a wicked soldier died here, and was consigned to the fiery regions below for his manifold sins; but being unable to stand the rigors of its climate, was sent back for his blankets. I have often heard complaint that the thermometer failed to show the true heat, because the mercury dried up. Everything dries?wagons dry, men dry, chickens dry ; there is no juice left in anything, living or dead, by the close of summer. Officers and soldiers arc supposed to walk about creaking; mules, it is said, can only bray at midnight, and 1! have heard it hinted that the carcasses of cattle rat? tle inside their hides, and that snakes find a difficult in bending their bodies, and horned frogs die of apoplexy. Chickens hatched at this season, come out of theshell already cook? ed ; bacon is eaten with a spoon, and butter must stand an hour in the sun before the flies become dry enough for use.?John Ross Rrou-nc. Fes IX COCRT.?The New York Lockport Union prints a good joke which was lately per? petrated upon Judge Baker while presiding in the Supreme Court in that city. On. rcissem bling after dinner one of the twelve jurymen was rather slow in making his appearance, so tardy, in fact, that impatience at the seeming unnecessary delay was plainly manifest in tho countenances of the learned gentlemen of the bench and bar. The tiresome and vexatious monotony was relieved, however, by the follow? ing laughable incident: A dog had accompa? nied his master to court, and while hunting around the room for a comfortable place in which to ensconce himself, very luckily, as he, no doubt, supposed, found the unoccupied chair of the absent iuryman, and, without waiting to be summoned, immediately took possession thereof. The Judge, addressing the learned and eloquent Hon. A. P. Laning, of Buffalo, said: "You see, Mr. Laning, that the jury? men's sctits are all occupied. Are you ready to [)roceed?" The distinguished pleader raised lis glasses to his eyes, and, after a brief survey of the jury-box, made the following witty re? ply: "Your Honor, the fellow might do Ibra judge, but I should hate to trust him fora jury? man." The good-natured Judge joined heartily in the merry laugh that followed, and proved that he could take as well as give a joke. Thought He'd Wade.?It was election day. and Grimes having assisted on the occasion by the deposit of his vote and the absorption of as much old rye as he could walk under, started with two of his neighbors, who were in the same state of elevation, to make their way to their homes. They had to cross the Wissahiekon creek by a foot-bridge constructed by a single log thrown across and hewed flat on the upper side, but without any band-mil to aid in the transit. There would have been no difficulty with clear head and steady legs in crossing, but with our party it was felt to he not devoid of difficulties under tho existing circumstances. However, the creek must be crossed. Grimes' friends took the lead, and with much swinging of arms and contortion of the body, reached the farther side. It was now Grimes' turn to face the music, and making a bold start, he succeed? ed in getting about one-third of the way over, when a loud splash announced to his friends that he was overboard. Emerging from the water, it being about up to his breast, he quietly said, as if his course was the result of mature de? liberation : "I guess I'll wade !" ? Envious people should not always mist to first impressions. A venerable Danbury lady, of rather credulous turn of mind and a poor stretch of vision, saw a pair of gravs dash by her window one day last week, and, In an agony of envy, she shook" her fist at the establish? ment and cried out: "Ride, darn ye; it will be my turn by-and-bv." The handsome grays were attached to a hear?e. Southern Memories. A eotemporary very reasonably asks the question, "Will it ever become burdensome or annoying to the people of the South to read or to hear of the Southern Confederacy?ite glo? ries, its triumphs, its defeats ?" The question has more than once occurred to us, and we sometimes fear that, with a large class of our people, the records of the grand struggle for Southern independence have be? come wearisome. We are all, more or less, yielding to the in? fluences which are operating to bury the mem? ories along with the animosities of the past. The age is decidedly materialistic, and we are hurried along so rapidly as it were upon an iron track that all of the old landmarks are fading away in the distance. The stories of Southern valor and devotion seem to be grow? ing common-place and tedious ; a soldier with an armless sleeve dangling by his side, or a wooden leg to supply a lost limb, excites but little interest; an appeal for charity does not receive more attention because it may come from a widow and children who were left with? out support when an enemy's bullet .pierced a gray jacket, or when lingering disease con? sumed the life of a husband and father in 6ome hospital, away from home and perhaps friends. And this disposition to ignore so much that should be cherished does not proceed from any excess of loyalty to the powers that be, but oh account of sheer indifference and that forget fulness which is so ungrateful, and it is be? coming more obvious every year. Our memo? ries are not cherished with the same fondness that they were when fresh, and, with but too many, the affections which were born of the war lie buried far deeper than the heroes who fell in battle or died in hospitals. This is seen by the small number of persons who generally engage in the floral decoration of the graves of our fallen soldiers. It is painfully evident .in the unsightly condition of neglected ceme? teries where hundreds lie buried. But some complain that it is a waste of money to devote it to the erection of monuments and the wall? ing of cemeteries. For this reason the bleach? ed bones of the fallen have whitened ploughed up battle-fields, and then mouldered to dust and mingled with the common earth. But such men have always pleaded against such "useless" expenditures since the day when the the woman poured precious ointment on the Saviour's bead and a disciple rebuked her for a waste of what might have been sold and brought money into the treasury. Let it be borne in mind that the South con? tended for a principle which is itself eternal, and although the arms which so long and so gloriously upheld it have been conquered, vet this controlling principle is an imperishable treasure which is beyond surrendering, and no earthly power can retrench the smallest frac? tion from it. Then, ought we not to esteem it no less a privilege than a duty to hold in grateful remembrance those who freely cave up life itself in defending what we yet believe to be right? And besides, right or wrong, we should delight to honor the memory of every soldier because he was actuated by pure mo? tives. And, if that time should ever come when we of the South shall cease to cherish these memories, we shall then show ourselves unworthy to be called citizens under any gov? ernment, for he who deserts a living comrade or forgets a fallen one, is fit only for treason.? Piedmont Intelligencer. An Amusing Incident.?One of the most ludicrous incidents which ever disturbed the equanimity of a Court of Justice, occurred i then trial of a case during the present Term before Judge Orr. It was enough to have provoked a smile from Old Rhadamanthushimself, much more from the genial temper and serene benig? nity of the presiding Judge. It occurred in this wise : Some progress had been made 7n the case of the State against Vir? gil Madden, the learned counsel had been dis? cussing the relevancy of certain evidence, and the Judge with the scales of even-handed jus? tice suspended, was applying the legal tests, when lo! one of the jury seats was discovered to be vacant?and one of the twelve units which make up the integral whole of the jury wisdom was found to be wanting. Who first made the discovery we believe is as unsettled a ques? tion, as the identity of the person "who struck Billy Patterson." But the discovery was made, and a constable posted after the defaulter. As might he supposed he proved to he some of our colored brethren, and with the innocence ofthc lamb, and the deference of a master of cere? monies, faced the irate Judge. The following colloquy thereupon ensued; Judge?What did you mean, sir, by leaving your seat without the permission of the Court? Juror?I thought, sir, whilst you was talking, I'd step out a bit." Judge?Do you not know, sir, that you are sworn to try this case, and to hear the evidence. Juror?Yes, sir, but I heard right smart, and thought that was enough. This last rejoinder was the feather's weight , that broke the camel's back and upset the grav? ity of the Court, Jury, Bar, et. al. The thun? ders of the law were powerless, justice was dis? armed, and mercy held its own. The juror was requested to take his seat. The Court felt that a lecture would have been out of place. Like \ the wagoner whose apples were spilt, he felt he "couldn't do the subject justice." It was Syd? ney Smith, we think, who said that it would re? quire a surgical operation to implant a humox \ ous perception into a certain individual's head ?the Court, we believe, felt it to he equally difficult to engraft a perception of legal obliga? tion into that juror's brain.?Abbeville Press and Banner. The Politcal OuTLook.?The Albany i Argun has been reviewing the political situation and prospects, and comes to the conclusion that with proper effort the Democracy can carry the following States: New Hampshire, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Mary? land, Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Ala? bama, Louisiana, Texas, Akansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Minne? sota, Nebraska, Nevada, California and Oregon. These States cast an aggregate of two hundred and twenty-two electoral votes, or more than two-thirds of the whole number of the electoral college. The Nashville Union and American has some doubts, however, as to the ability of the Democracy to carry New Hampshire, Wis? consin, Minnesota and Nevada. Tlic "natives" of those States are so thoroughly imbued with Radicalism and fanaticism that we fear a whole decade at least will elapse before they can be brought to a realizing sense of the error of their ways and the need of repentance. The other States named, with a fair election, will give Democratic majorities, and those States elect one hundred and sixty-two members of Congress, two-thirds of whom should be Demo? crats, and these, together with those members we should elect in the more doubtful and Rc publican States, would give us a majority in the next House of Representatives. The prospect is very flattering for the Democrats to carry the next House of Representatives by agoodwork ing majority, and the Radicals feel that this is so. ? Mrs. Smith has company to dinner, and there arc not strawberries enough, and she looks at Mr. Smith with a sweet smile, and offers to help him (at the same time kicking him gently with her slipper under the table). He always replies, "No, I thank you, my dear, they don't agree with me." ? Jenkins says : "The profusion and color of her hair would lead one to look upon it as though it was spun by the nimble Angers ofthc easy hours as they glided -through bright June days, whose sunny rays of light had been caught in the meshes, and were content to go no father." Joe Bowers expresses the same thing by saying : "Her hair was awful red." ? Josh Billings says life is like a mountain ?after climbing up one side, and siiding down the other, we put up the sled. Taking the Census?Bales for Assistant Mar* shals* "Fat Contributor," in the Cincinnati Times, publishes the following rules for the guidance of census-takers, who will doubtless appreciate his kindness: Notwithstanding the fact that the Superin? tendent of the Census has issued quite minute instructions to the Assistant Marshals, we ven? ture to assist in making their duties more plain to them. Each Assistant Marshal should cut these instructions out and paste them carefully in his hat. The enumeration is to be made by actual in? quiry at every dwelling-house, unless the head of the house is out in the barn, when you may inquire there, but not otherwise. This duty must be performed by the Assistant Marshal alone; he can't send a boy. Marshals must take pains to employ intelli gible terms. If a man is a "shoemaker," no matter if he calls himself a minister or an ed? itor, put him down as a shoemaker. Don't call a man an "artist" because he goes out whitewashing, or "sailor" simply because he tends a saw-mill. A man may be "engaged in a bank," and yet be nothing but a burglar, and you must be careful and make the distinc? tion.* When a lawyer, a merchant or a manufactu? rer has retired from business, say "retired law? yer," "retired merchant," &c. If a man has served a term in the penitentiary you may say "retired convict." Distinguish between stone-masons and free? masons. Be particular and never describe a woman as an "old maid," if you ever expect to travel that way again. In the tobacco business make the proper dis? tinction between wholesale and retail and "pigtail." Separate the cooks and waiters at the hotels, particularly if they have male cooks and female waiters. When you find men who are ashamed or afraid to tell what their occupation is, you may set them down as of "no occupation," for it is evident they have no occupation to speak of. Use the term "huckster in all cases where it applies. If any one objects, let the old huck stir about it all he pleases. That's all the good it will do him. When you employ the -term "packer," indi? cate whether you mean "crockery-packer," "mule-packer," "pork-packer," or Governor Packer, of Pennsylvania. In using the term "Judge," let us know whether he is a judge of a court, whisky or a horse-race. Officials should have their profession desig? nated, if they have any, as "Retired merchant, Governor of Massachusetts ;" "Bone-boiler, Representative in Congress; " " Rum-seller, member of the Legislature," etc., etc. Be particular to distinguish beween farmers and farm-hands. This can be done by observ? ing which call the other up in the morning. It is unnecessary to inquire the occupation of children under a year old. Set them down under the general head of "milkers." When an able-bodied young man depends upon a poor and feeble old mother for a support, set him down as a "loafer." Be very particular in taking "Diseases," particularly small-pox. The Census Bureau desires all the statistics possible regarding small-pox, and Assistant Marshals must give their personal attention to it Among Social Statistics the amount of court? ing done by our young people is important.? Careful and delicate inquiry will result in an accurate and valuable estimate of the amount of gas, oil, tallow candles, &c, consumed in "sitting up" Sunday nights. We trust that with the above rules always at hand the census takers will be enabled to per? form their duty creditably and satisfactorily. Buying a Horse and Buggy. The following originally appeared in the Buffalo Express. It is so very good that it will bear many repetitions : ? C--P, an attache of one of the Pennsyl? vania railroads, but well known ir. Buffalo as an inveterate practical joker, happened in Cleveland the other day, and the weather being mild, warm, he conceived the happy idea of taking the fair object of his adoration out ri Iding. Donning his best suit, he started post haste for the nearest livery stable. He was a partial stranger in the vicinity, and the livery stable keeper not knowing him, and imagining possibly, lroin the state of nervous excitement in which he presented himself, "something was up," refused to let him take a horse and buggy. "But," remonstrated C-r, "I am good for a dozen horses and buggies." "Very well, then, leave me some security," ?demanded the suspicious liven' man. "How much do you consider your darn'd rig worth ?" angrilv asked our friend, "About 3350." "If I buy it now and pay you $350 in cash, will you agree to buy it back for the same sum when I get through with it ?" asked C-p. "Certainly, sir," politely responded the own? er, who thought he saw a chance for a good : bargain. ? "All right. Here's your money ;" and jump? ing into the the vehicle, C-p drove ofT to the residence of his expectant Angelina. Of course she was ready, and of course a pleasant drive was enjoyed. Up one and down another of those beautifully laid out avenues of Cleveland they rode, breathing the fresh and balmy atmosphere of a glorious spring day, ad? miring the handsome residences which line the streets, C--r talking sweet nonsense all the while, and Angelina looking as if she felt transported to the seventh heaven of delight. For two hours did the happy couple ride and admire the ncwly-dcvelopcu beauties of nature, when the sinking sun reminded our hero that official duties awaited his attention; and leav? ing his fair companion at the door of her resi? dence, he drove back to the livery stable. "Well," said he to the proprietor, "you sec I am here again, and I presume you arc ready to buy this rig back." "Yes sir, I trust I am a man of my word," coolly responded that individual, at the same time handing C???r $350 in greenbacks, which our friend quietly stowed away in an in? side pocket, and was moving off, when? "Hold on here," cried the livery man, "you havn't paid for your two hours use of this ere horse and buggy ?' "What do you mean T in tum responded C??-p: "Didn't I buy that horse and buggy of you two hours ago ?" "Yes." "Well, then, what in the creation do you mean by asking me to pay for the use of my own rig V retorted C-p, as he moved off with well-assumed indignation, while the stable hands and bystanders smiled audibly. A Model Speech.?A Toledo paper gives this as a correct report of a speech recently dclivercd by a Radical member of a school board in that section: Mr. Cheerman, I rise for to?that is to make a motion, which is as follows: Resolved, that there are no need to build such costive school housen as some of this ere board is proposin' to 'rect. No, Mr. Cheerman, I'm 'posed to spend in' money for more housen. The old ones are pretty good yit, and for to go for to build a pretty slick house which will cost ten thousand dollars, or more yit, its all wasted. Its no 'con omy to throw away money we don't need.? Taxes cost money, and money has to go to pay taxes, and let us expense with any more school housen. ? The following conundrum was cooked in forty minutes to make it sufficiently hard. What is the difference between a donkey and the only empire in South America? The one brays well and the other Brazil. ? What is the difference between the en? trance of a barn and a loafer in a printing office ? One is a barn door and the other is a darn bore. Girls .Should Learn to Keep House. No young lady can be too well instructed in anything which will affect the comfort of a family. Whatever position in society she oc? cupies, she needs a practical knowledge of household duties, She may be placed in such circumstances that it will not be necessary for her to perform much domestic labor; but on this account she needs no less knowledge than if she was obliged to preside personally over the cooking stove and the pantry. Indeed, I have thought that it is more difficult to direct others, and requires more experience, .than to do the same work with our own hands. Mothers are frequently so nice and particu? lar that they do not like to give up any part of the care to their children. This is a great mis? take in their management, for they are often burdened with labor and need relief. Children should be early taught to make themselves use? ful ; to assist their parents every way in their power, and to consider it a*privilege to do so, Young people cannot realize the importance of a thorough knowledge of housewifery; but those who have suffered the inconvenience and mortification of ignorance can well appreciate it. Children should be early indulged in their disposition to bake and experiment in various ways. It is often but a troublesome help that they afford; still it is a great advantage to them. I know a little girl who at nine years old made a loaf of bread every week during the winter. Her mother taught her how much yeast, salt and flour to use, and she became quite an ex Eert baker. Whenever she is disposed to try er skill in making simple pies or cakes, she is permitted to do so. She is thus, while amus? ing herself, learning an important lesson. Her mother calls her little houskeeper, and often permits her to get what is necessary for the ta? ble. She hangs the keys by her side, and very musical is the jingling to her ears. I think be? fore she is out of her teens, upon which she has not yet entered, that she will have some idea how to cook. Some mothers give their daughters the care of housekeeping, each a week by turns. It seems to me a good arrangement and a most useful part of their education. Domestic labor is by no means incompatible with the highest degree of refinement and mental culture. Many of the most elegant, accomplished women I have known, have looked well to their house? hold duties, and have honored themselves and their husbands by so doing. Economy, taste, skill in cooking, and neat? ness of the kitchen, have a great deal to do in making life happy and prosperous. The charm of good hosekeeping is in order, economy and taste displayed in attention to little things; and these things have a wonderful influence. A dirty kitchen and bad cooking have driven many a one from home to 6cek comfort and happiness somewhere else. None of our ex? cellent girls are fit to be married until they are thoroughly educated in the deep and profound mysteries of the kitchen. Breaking it Gently.?"Yes, I remember that anecdote," the Sunday-school Superinten? dent said, with the (>\d pathos in his voice and the old sad look in his eyes. "It was about a simple creature named Higgins, that used to haul rock for old Maltby. When the lamented Judge Bagley tripped and fell down the Court House stairs and broke his neck, it was a great question how to break the news to poor Mrs. Bagley. But finally the body was put into Higgins' wagon and he was instructed to take it to Mrs. B., but to be very guarded and dis? creet in his language, and not break the news to her at once, but to do it gradually and gent? ly. When Higgins got there with his sad freight he shouted till Mrs. Bagley came to the door. Then he said: " 'Does the widder Bagley live here?' " 'The widaw Bagley ? No, sir!' " Til bet she docs. But have it your own way. Well, does Judge Bagley live here*?' " 'Yes, Judge Bagley lives here.' " 'I'll bet he don't. But never mind?it ain't for me to contradict. Is the Judge in ?' " 'No, not at present.' " T jest expected as much. Because, you know?take hold o' sumthin', mum, for I'm a-going to make a little communication, and I reckon maybe it'll jar you some. There's been an accident, mum. I've got the old Judge curled up out here in the wagon?and when you sec him you'll acknowledge, yourself, that 'an inquest is about the only thing* that could be a comfort to him V "?Mart Twain. Miss Nora O'Neal talks Biz.- -Miss O'Neal has answered the chap who called her "darling," "sweet," and all that. Here it is: "Oh ! you say you are lonely wtihout me, that you sigh for one glance of my eye: you're blarneying always about me?Oh ! why don't you to papa apply? You men arc so very de J ceiving, I can't believe aught that you say; 1 your love I will only believe in when my joint? ure is made 'au fait.' "This trash about eyes, voice and glancing may do for a miss in her teens; but he who to me makes advances must talk of his bank stock and means. You beg me to go galivauting, to meet you at the foot of the lane?with a kiss, too! why mau you arc rantin ! do you think I am wholly insane ? When you woo a lady oi sense, sir, don't whine about sorrow and tears; ij.'s a matter of dollars aud cents, sir, no tale of romance interferes. 0! poverty is not very funny, (my style I'll not try to conceal,) if I can't get a husband with money, I'll live and die Nora O'Neal." ? A contemporary, noticing the appoint? ment of a friend as postmaster, savs: "If he attends to the mails as well as he does to the females, he will make a very attentive and efficient officer." ? An exchange says: "You might as well attempt to shampoon the head of an elephant with a thimbleful of soapsuds, as to attempt to do business and ignore printer's ink."" That's so. ? An assistant marshal, in taking the census in Louisville, asked a colored woman what personal property she possessed, and received the sober reply/"Nothing hut dese three chil? dren ycre, and they ain't wuth much." ? A certain boarding house was very much infested by vermin. A gentleman who slept there one night, told the landlady so in the morning, when she said : "La, sir, we haven't a single bug in the house." "No ma'am," said he, "they're nil married, and have large fami? lies, too." ? Imagination, tew mutch indulged in, soon is tortured into reality; this is one way that good boss thieves are made; a man leans over a fence all day, and imagines the hoss belongs tu him, and sure enuflj the fust dark night, the hoss docs. THE CHRONICLE & SENTINEL, Published at Augusta, (ja. daily, tri-weekly and weekly CONTAINS all the latest news by Mall and Telegraph, embracing full Commercial and Financial Reports from all the leading centra, together with the latest Political and General Information upon all subjects which Interest the. reading public. , . ... The terms of the DAILY are 85 for six months, and 510 for one vear. . . TheTRl-WEEKLYisS'WO.for six months, and Sft for | ?"&e WEEKLY CHRONICLE & SEimMEL is a mam? moth paper of thirl v-si.x columns, filled with bdltorials, Telegraphic Dispatches, Communications on home matters, together with Agricultural, Commercial and Financial ar? ticles?making it one of the most desirable and valuable papers in the eountrv to the Planter, Farmer and Mer? chant- The terms arc $.? per annum, ot Sl.iM) six months. All subscript ions are required in advance. Liberal commissions paid responsible agents. Address nil letters and communications to the CHRONICLE & SENTINEL, ? Augusta, Gr W Specimen copies Sent free. May 2G, 1870 48 LIGHT, pleasant and profitable employment guaranteed lo persons in every part of the country. Suitable for ladies or gentlemen, boys ?r girls. Address XIX Century Publication Co , Charleston, 8. C. May.?, 1870 45 i THE POIICY-HOIDEB?' LIFE AND TONTINE ASSURANCE COMPANY OF THE SOUTH, 29 Broad Street, Charleston, S. G, HAVING deposited $50,000 with the Comp, troller General for the protection of its policy-holders, will issue the usual forms of Life and Endowment Policies. // is the most liberal Company to the Assured in the World. The Charter guarantees to the assured (he cash surrender value of his policy after one annual pre? mium has been paid, except in case of fraud. It is the only purely mutual Company in the South. It has no Stockholders. All surplus profits must be divided pmong the policy-holders. It is thoroughly conservative. Its investments are confined by charter to the most solid securities, and it is under management of men of well established ability and integrity. Persons desiring any irffornratrot? vtill please communicate with any of the officers. WM. MCBURNEY, President. E. P. ALEXANDER, Vice Pres. and Act. GEO. E. BOGGS, Sec. and Gen. Agent. .10IIN T. DARBY, M. D., Med. Adviser. JAMES A. HOYT, Local Agent for Andeison, and Dr. TIIOS. A. EVINS, Medical Examiner, April 21,1870 43 GEORGE W. CARPENTER'S Compound Fluid Extract of Sarsa* parilla. GEORGE W. CARPENTERS Compound Fluid Extract of Btrcnii THESE celebrated preparations, originally in' troduccd by George W. Carpenter, under the paU ronage of the medical faculty, have been bo long extensively used by Physicians and others, that they are generally known for their intrinsic value, and can be relied on as being most valuable rem? edies in all cases where Sarsaparilla or Bucha are applicable, and cannot be too highly recommend? ed. They are prepared in a highly concentrated form, so as to render the dose small and conven? ient. Orders by mail or otherwise will receive prompt Attention. GEORGE V7. CARPENTER, HENSZEY & CO., Wholesale Chemical Warehouse, No. 737 Market street, Philadelphia. For sale by Walters & Baker and W. H. Nnrdia & Co., Anderson, S. C. Dowie & Moi.se, Whole? sale Agents, Charleston, S. C. Oct21, 18G9 17 A. B. MULLIGAN, COTTON FACTOR AND General Commisson Merchant) ACCOMMODATION WHARF, CHARLESTON, S. O Liberal Advances made on Cotton* jggf I will, when placed in funds, purchase and iorward all kinds of Merchandize, Machine ry. Agricultural Implements, Manures, Seeds, &e. Sept 23, 1769 13 ly Greenville & Columbia Railroad. GENERAL SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE, > Columbia, January 15, 1870. J ON and after WEDNESDAY, January 19, the following Schedule will be run daily, Sunday ex? cepted, connecting with Night Train on South Carolina Road, up and down, and with Nigh Train on Charlotte, Columbia and Augusta Road going North: L've Columbia 7.00 a m " Alston 8.40 a m " Ncwb'ry 10.10 a m Art. Abbeville .1.00 p m " Anderson 4.20 p m " Gr'nvillc 5.00 p in L've Greenville 5.45 a m Anderson 0.25 a m " Abbeville 8.00 ? m " Newb'ry 12.35 p m Alston 2.10 p m Arr. Columbia 3.45 p m The Train will return from Belton to Anderson on Monday and Friday mornings. JAMES O. MEKEDITH, Gen. Sup't. Jan 20, 1870 30 II. BtSCIIOFF. P. W I! LEERS. J. H. FlErER. JOHN McFALL, WITH HENRY BISCH0FF & CO., WHOLESALE GROCERS, A.N'D DEALERS IX WINES, LIQUORS, Cigars, Tobacco, Sco,9 NO. 197 EAST BAY, Nov 25, 1869 22 Schedule Blue Ridge Railroad. ON and after this dale the following schedule will be observed by the Passenger Trains over this Rond : up. nowx. L've Anderson, 4.20 p m " Pendleton,5.20 *' ?? Perryville, 6.10 " Arr. Walhalla, 7.00 " L've Walhalla, 8 30 a m M Perryville, 4.10 " " Pendleton, 5.10 " Arr. Anderson, 6.10 " In cases of detention on the G. and C. R. R-.? the train on this Road will wait one hour for the train from Belion, except on Saturdays, when it will wait until the arrival of the Belton train. W. II. D. GAILLARD, Sup't. March 10, 1870 37 Tutt's Vegetable Liver Pills ! For Liver Complaint, Billiousness, &c. Tutt's Sarsaparilla and Queen's Delight, For purifying the blood. Tutt's Expectorant, For Cough's, Cold's, Consumption, &c, &c Tutt's Improved Hair Dye, The best in the world, Are for sale in Anderson by WALTERS & Baker, Druggists, and Druggists and Merchants generally throughout the United States. July 29 I860 5 ly JAMES H. TnORNWELL, Attorney at Law, ANDERSON C. H., S. C. gg^" Office in the residence immediately oppo? site Dr. Caters, on Main street. Feb 3, 1870 32 3m Flour, Bacon, Corn, &c. AFINE lot of Flour, Bacon, Corn, &c, on hand, and for sale cheap by M. LESSER, Agent. March 24, 1870 39 You had better Believe It. ALL persons owing mo money had better come forward and pay up, or they will certainly be sued. M. LESSER, Agent. March 24, 1870 89 Groceries. SUGAR, Coffee, Tea. Syrups, and all kinds Groceries can be had, at reduced prices for cash, by going to M. LESSER, Agent. March 24, 1870 39 The Spondulix! HAVING purchased my Goods for cash, I want it 6trictly understood that I must bare cash for them. M. LESSER, Agent. March 24, 1870 39