Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, June 06, 1919, Image 4
tumorous JUpartmcnt
Absent That Day.?A certain methodical
teacher had a regular routine of
questions which she asked her class
every Sunday. The class was always
arranged in the same order, and she
began with the same question: "Who
made you?" And the boy at the head
v.o nines answered. "God." Thbn
to the next boy, "Who was the first1
man?" and he answered, "Adam." One'
Sunday the first boy was absent and
of course the usually second boy was
at the head of the class. As usual she
began by asking, "Who made you?";
and the boy arewered, "Adam."
"Xo," the teacher said; "God made;
you."
"I don't think so, miss," the boy replied,
"the boy that God made is not
here today."
Too Much for Her.?It was Sarah
Jane's day out, and she was comparing!
?-av, cuoan fmm a neighboring
11UUC3 VViill uuuu.i, ?
house. "So I hear you've loft that artist's,"
Susan said.
"Yes, indeed," remarked Jane. "I
couldn't stand the missus' insults. 1
hadn't been there a day when she said
to me: 'Sarah Jane,' she says, 'when
you're dusting off the studio you must
be very careful not to touch the old
master. It's worth hundreds of
pounds,' she says. Well, that got my
temper up proper. 'Excuse me,
ma'am,' says I, 'but I've got a young
man of my own and I don't want any
old master, not if he is worth milj
lions!"'
None of His Business Anyway.?Out
in California one year, instead of
changing th'- license numbers on the
automobiles, the bear insignia which
each plate carried was changed to a
poppy. One young lady, entirely ignorant
of any such regulations, was
driving her absent-minded father's car
downtown one day and was held up by
a policeman.
"I beg your pardon, miss, oui ?ncre
is your poppy?" asked the policeman.
"Oh," she replied, "he's at home
with mommy."
All the Same to Her.?"I shall have
to ask y.ou for a ticket for that'boy,
ma'am," insisted a conductor, speaking
to a quiet-looking little woman. The
woman declined to pay.
"I'm afraid if you don't pay for that
# boy I'll have to stop the train and put
him off," he persisted.
"All right; all the same to me," she
said. 1
"You ought to know the rules. How
old is that boy?"
"I don't know. I never saw him
before."
Did You Ever??A furrier was sell
* 1
ing a coat to a woman cusiumer. *w(
ma'am," he said, "I guarantee this to
be genuine skunk fur that will wear
for years."
"But suppose I get it wet in the
rain," asked the woman. "What effect
will the water have on it. What will
happen to it then? Won't it spoil?"
"Madam," answered the furrier, "I
have only one answer: Did you ever
hear of a skunk carrying an umbrella?"
Kind o' Fazed Her.?A young man
was accepted and he said Joyously:
"Then, darling, we'll get married at
once. Of course, at first, we shan't
be able to keep a servant."
"Oh, Jack, hadn't we better 'wait
then," she protested. "What would the
neighbors say if they saw me doing my
own work?" *
Jack looked puzzled.
4,TTT1 ?" V? n anirl "whoSff
VYny, Bwccuican, iiv wv.,
work do you want to do?" 1
The Only Help.?When the railroads
were tied up with the worst glut in
history one severe winter, one train
was fifty-seven hours late, ami a passenger
became wearied.
"Get me something so I can figure
out when I will get to New York," he
said to the porter"Yes,
sah, I'll get you a time-table,
sah," replied the porter.
"Time-table? Time-table? Thunder,
no! What I want is a calendar."
The Wrong End.?The navy boy was
home on leave and the old man was
admiring- his uniform.
"But tell me, me boy, why do they
make the pants so wide at the bottom
?"
"So we can roll them up quickly,"
explained the lad. '
"You're no son of mine," warned the
old man. "if yer goin' ter fight wid yer
feet. 'Tis yer jacket sleeve*? that ought
to be wide at the bottom."
When Pat Measured Up.?"I hear
your dog is dead, Pat," said a man to
an Irishman.
"He is, sur. The pur baste swallied
a tape measure, sur," answered Pat.
"Ah," said the man, "then he died
by inches, hey?"
"N'o, sur," answered Pat, with a
wink at a friend standing Dy, not exact^\
He went back of the house, sur,
and died by the yard."
Right With the Times.?"Madam,
you have had three husbands now,"
said her legal "and every one
of them either^^Btapzy or turned
out to be woi yet .< ou are
think of marrfl^rWflB*
"Yes, sir," answered the fair client:
"what I think I've got now is a safe
and sane fourth."
The New Tongue.?Two girls were
quarreling. "You're always saying
mean things about people," said one
to the other. "The trouble with you is
you've got a chauffeur's tongue."
"A chauffeurs tongue?" echoed the
other girl.
"Yes," was the answer. "It's always
running people down."
The Depth- of His Devotion.?John- |
ny, aged four, greatly admired his
mother's guest, Jennie, aged twelve.
One day Jennie was looking without
success for angle-worms, when Johnny
said: "I tell you, Miss Jennie, if I
was a worm I'd be just where you're
diegin'."
Talk About the Retort Courteous.?
"I had a pretty bad full once," said
Jones, "when I fell out of a window,
and on the way down I thought of every
mean act I had ever done."
"Lord!" said Thompson. "You must
have fallen some distance."
Properly Stringed.?"What is that
string around your finger for?"
"That is to remind me that I forgot
something my wife tied it there for me
to remember."?Baltimore American.
tsrsjstff 11
Tobacco Co.
OLD AGE STAR!
WITH
Science eays that old age begins with
weakened kidneys and digestive organs.
This being true, it is easy to believe
that by keeping the kidneys and digestive
organs cleansed arid in proper
working order old age can be deferred
ana lire prolonged iar oeyona mai enJoyed
by the average peracn.
For over 200 years GOLD MEDAIi
Haarlem Oil has been relieving the
weaknesses and disability due to advancing
years. It is a standard oldtime
home remedy and needs no Introduction.^
GOLD IflSDAIj Haarlem Oil Is
inclosed /n odorless, tasteless capsules
containing about S drops each. Take
them as you weald a pill, with a small
BUICK
AND
OAKLAND
AUTOMOBILES
Place orders now for future
delivery.
One Ford Touring Oar for a
Quick Sale.
QUINN WALLACE
W Typewriter papers, 15 Cts. lb. and
upward, at The Knqulrer Office.
[mm
12 to 15
One of the best
age depends in
materials. Of <
that to not imp
beads, or weigh
only ijuality-gh
excellent guide
In selecting tires,
makes you are co
weigh 12 to 15 per
- with the size of th<
mmmmamm.
, wmmm^mSS^jgSSF*
Pill
get so much
puff you'll v
I twinsl For, Prince
I ripuz tn everv man i
SJjglP made cigarette. It1
tffSr pletely. That's be
pu* And, right behind this qc
grance is Prince Albert's fr
? which is cut out by our c
We tell you to smoke yo
pipe or makin's cigaretteToppy
red bags, tidy red
half poand tin humidors?
pound crystal glass humi
top that keeps the tobacc
ft, J. Reynolds Tobacco (
rs
YOUR KIDNEYS
swallow of water. The oil stimulate*
the kidney action and enables the
organs to throw off the poisons which
cause premature old age. New life and
tmncrh inrreajiA am vntt fnntinn* the
treatment. When completely restored
continue taking- a capsule or two each
day. GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Cap- <
aules will keep you in health and vigor ]
and prevent a return of the disease.
Do not wait until old age or disease (
have settled down for good. Go to your
druggist and get a box of GOLD
MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules. Money
refunded if they do not help you. Three
sizes. But remember to ask for the
original imported GOLD MEDAL brand.
In sealed packages. ? 1
FIRST NATIONAL BANE
SHARON, - - S- C.
A REALLY HELPFUL BANK?
A Bank to be helpful to a commu- '
nity must at all times be ready and
able to take care of every reasonable J
call for banking accommodations. It
can only lend money when the other
fellow wants it and needs money. The
man with a big balance doesn't need
to borrow. This bank is hero ready to
furnish money to the man who has a
need for it and in every case it is our
pleasure to meet such legitimate calls
lor iunus. n.en iuu, t?c vou o?yc mc
man who has money and who doe; not
need to borrow. We can and will and
do take care of his surplus funds?
rendering a strict and accurate account
of every transaction at the end
of each month. We also protect him
against accidental loss, fire and burglary,
then too a Checking Account?
paying by Check?is the safe way to do
business. Let us have your account.
J. S. HARTNESS, Cashier.
W Typewriter papers, 15 Cts. ID. and
upward, at The Enquirer Office.
ymmmm
\% Extra \
ways to judge a tire is to wei;
a large measure on the qua
course weight might be due t<
rove quality, such as unnecess
t-giving compounds. But om
ing materials are used, thei
to durability.
, therefore, have your dealer we
nsidering. You will find that Mi
cent more than the average, the
5 tire.
This extra weijj
quality rubber
no one question;
?means that 3
to expect exti
Micheiins. Ye1
no more than oi
m YORK V
nyi-WUMtl ^ ^
&P? ' \
31!
w^'
tAY your smoketaste^
flush up against a
listening post?and you'll
ce Albert call, all right I
\ jimmy pipe so quick and
tobacco joy out of every
trish you had been born
s Albert puts over a turn
fond of a pipe or a home
wins your glad hand corncause
it has the quality I
lality flavor and quality fraeedom
from bite and parch
exclusive patented process.
iur fill at any clip?jimmy
-without a comeback 1
tint, handsome pound and
-and?that clever, practical
dor with sponge moistener
o in each perfect condition,
Zo? Winston-Salem, N. G
I HAVE THE CARS
Reo, Cole 8 and Maxwell
?the Best.
Purchasers of automobiles
want the very best there is
for the money.
This applies t those who have had
experience and those who have not
had experience.
I have REOS and MAXWELLS on
exhibition next to the City Market and
ean give all desired information on the
higher priced and more powerful
"COLE-8"
The REO TRUCK simply cannot be
beat for the price.
When you go on the lookout for
cars yc t want to see me, and I want
to see you.
C. F. SHERER
BANK OF HrCKOSEoyE
HICKORY GROVE, S. C.
We invite your business and
assure you tliat every courtesy
and accommodation consistent
with good hanking will be
granted
J. S. WILKERSON, Pres.
W. S. WILKERSON, Vice Pres.
L. M. ALLISON, Cashier,
J. L. PLAXTCO, Asst. Cashier.
Bank of Hickory Grove
HICKORY OROVE. 8. C.
ImI
height
gh it, for milentity
of quality
0 many factors
lary wire in the
ze assured that
1 weight is an
igh the different
chelin Universale
ercentage varying
iht, due to extra
and fabric?and
j Michelin Quality
fou have a right
*a mileage from
fc Michelins cost
rdinary tires.
? I
I0T0R CAR CO.
Courtney, Prop.
>RK, S. C.
fp
In
r?wivi m iiaw?^
m
Callus? Peel It
Off Quickly!
Nothing On Earth Like "Gets-It"
for Corns and Calluses.
A spot of thickened skin on the bottom
of your foot which so often makes
walking an agony, is as easily removed
by wonderful "Gets-It" as
H Cj
iv\ s
fl m2i
CWIm Comes Off Like Banana Peel! i
any hard or soft corn anywehere on
your toes. Look at this picture.?
A few drops of "Gets-It" did the
work. The callus conies loose from
the true flesh. No Irritation whatever.
You peel the callus right off
just like a banana peel?peacefully,
painlessly. "Gets-It" does the same
thing to any corn, without the use of
sticky plasters, irritating salves,
greasy oirttments or bundling tape.
There's no fussing?no knife, no
scissors to use. "Get-It" is used by
millions, because it's * common sense,
and it never fails. Try it, prove it
"Get-It," the guaranteed> moneyback
corn remover, the only sure way,
costs but a trifle at any drug store.
M'f'd by E. Lawrence & Co., Chicago.
111.
REAL ESTATE
The past is behind us. ..The future is
ahead. ..The old town has taken on
new life. ..Be wise and secure your
home before prices go higher.
A few of my offerings:
The R. J. Mackorell residence in the
centei of town; 10-rooms, with all
modern improvements. Lot 132 x 340
feet. Plenty of room to erect another
iiouse on back side of lot. Enough
said.
Five-room cottage on Lincoln street
with water and lights. Lot ' 60x325
fert. Property of Mrs. O. E. Wilkins.
V real bargain.
i he R. E. Heath residence on Cleveland
Avenue. Six rooms, with water,
light and sewerage. Lot 86 x 218 feet.
A nice home for some one.
The R. H. Dobson estate lands on
West Madison Street, three acres,
with three tenant houses. Has a frontage
of about 300 feet. An ideal place
to build a home and priced just right.
See me at once.
The J. C. Wallace residence on East
Madison street. Lot 200 x 268 feet
Eight-room residence. You could not
build the house for anything like what
I will sell you the property for. Besides
it is an ideal place for a store
room. Some one is going to get a
bargain.
liemember, I have lots of others,
town and country.
Loans arranged on farming lands.
GEO. W. WILLIAMS
REAL ESTATE
Room 204 First National Bank Bldg.
Bf Crop and Chattel Mortgages at
The Enquirer I'fiioe.
Jp^
A I M/yissm
THE B
?AND IT'S I
YOUR W
Tlirough special i
manufacturers, ai
Week only, a bea
Ij j | stantial set of Coo
j with every Majei
ware is good ware
worth a lot to y
I yourself.
And Remen
The price of a Ms
I j II will not be increas
HI Iv be a great redui
if ever, but there n
III TWO NE\
111 The Wonderf
I Yes, it's rivet-tight, ju
rivets clinch inside o1
smooth as glass, and the
the inside. And, remer
only one or two threads
and cause no end of i
|| inside and outside?it1
sknvyeep.
If you haven't a
York F
I
\
???
The next time
you buy calomel
ask for
The purified and refined
calomel tablets that are
nausealess, safe and sure.
Medicinal virtues retained
and improved. Sold
only in sealed packages.
Price 35c.
NOTICE
To Landowners of Turkey Creek Drain*
age District of York and Chester
Counties, South Carolina:
YX^HEREAS, the total assessment for
"" draining the above District exceeds
the average of twenty-flve cents per
acre on all lands in the District, the
undersigned Board of Drainage Commissioners
of said District hereby give
iwuve mui mejr iirupuao iu issue ouuus
for the construction of the drains and
levees and other Improvements through
Turkey Creek Drainage District of
York and Chester Counties, South Carolina,
to the amount of One Hundred
and Fifteen Thousand ($116,000.00)
Dollars, and bearing six per cent, interest,
per annum, payable semi-annually,
on the first day of January and
the first day of July, of each year during
the life of said Bonds, which said
Bonds shall be dated July 1st, 1919,
and shall become due and payable as
follows, to wit: The accrued interest
semi-annually thereafter on the 1st
days of January and July, up until
the 1st day of January, 1923, when the
accrued interest and one-tenth of said
Bond issue (or Eleven Thousand Five
Hundred & 00/100 Dollars) shall become
due and payable, and annually
thereafter on the 1st day of January
of each and every year thereafter onetenth
of said Bond issue or Eleven
Thousand Five Hundred Dollars shall
become due and payable until the erftlre
Bond issue shall have been paid in
full.
Any landowner having land assessed
in said District and not wanting to pay
interest on tne Jtsonas may wiuun mirty
days after the publication of this
Notice pay the County Treasurer of
York County the full amount of hi* assessment,
and have his land released
therefrom as provided by law.
CLAUD M. INMAN, Chm.,
JOHNSON CAMERON,
A. D. STEADMAN,
Commissioners of Turkey Creek Drainage
District of York and Chester
CountiesMay
23. 1919. 41 f 3t
" y
7|Hf ' 71
11 B/UESlTOg i
1ARGAIN
VELL WORTH
IIILE!
irrangements with the
id during this Bargain
utiful, useful and subking
Ware will be given
stic Range sold. This
(not cheap ware)?it's
ou. Come and see for
nApr?
tjestic Range this week
ed, and there will hardstion
for years to come,
aay be an increase soon.
V AND IMI
ul Unseen Riveti
tst like the. old Majestic, bul
f nickeled parts, leaving n
;re are 110 big, bulky bolt-hea<
in'ro+o Vinlrl floTlt? holts
HUbL j XXYV/l/O iiviu
i liolding are bound to work '
;rouble. The Majestic is sir
's a striking beauty?more
%
l MAJESTIC, avail yourself
this wonderful range?k
!x I
urmuirc <
s
=
i
i
=
EJB
| WE HAVE THEM 1
= Yes, to be sure, we a
| ficient number of Mules
-! demand that may be ma
others who need additior
5 or other use, and too, w
| will be pleased to own, th
= ments in every way?qi
5 r\ j :? v
= aiiu see us 11 yuu i
= spring farm work. We
[ MULES JAMES B
Miiiniiiiiimiiiiiiiimiiiiiimimiiiiiiimii
If Sec The Enquirer Office for all
kinds of Commercial Stationery of the
better kinds.
The Bank of Glover
CLOVER. 3. C.
YOUR BUSINESSNO
MATTER what your line?be it
Farming, blacksmlthing, well digging,
merchandising or professional, ought
to be, for your own personal satisfaction,
handled through the Bank?this
Bank if it is most convenient to you.
THE BANK WAY IS THE SURE
WAY of knowing just how you stand
financially. It tend? to system In business
affairs. It gives your business
affairs a better tone with the man
with whom you do business, but do
not come into direct contact with. It
will give you more'confidence in YOUR
OWN BUSINESS AFFAIRS.
THIS BANK, right at your door, offers
its services to help YOU to better
business methods. We want Your
Banking business and will do everything
a good bank can do to merit
Your business and your Confidence,
and without Your Confidence, then 6t
course, this Bank doesn't expect your
Huatri naa Rut wp HpIIpVp we haVC
| both to your advantage.
JA3. A. PAGE. Cathier.
Great Majes
Bargain
SPECIAL DEMONS
BARGAIN S
Majestic
At Our StnrA?Or
AU VMA iwvv? v
m
June 9th to
To Be Truly Economi
Be a Majestic in '
Economy is not merely sper
buying a range at too low
economy.
The rirst cost is not the on
tional first cost of a Majest
with its economy of fuel ai
Nearly a million Majestic
cally, scientifically and sat]
lions and millions of people
is proof positive of their sup
There is only one best. T
The Majestic is recognized
ranges. The construction,:
and beauty of this wonderi
and it embodies important
no other range.
Your Opportuni
At our store?during Majes
your chance to get acquE
about ranges. We assure
your while to investigate.
'ORTAM1 FJ
ing Oh,
t the A smooth, highly
ickel burnished blue,
with beauty of the Mi
[00SP eliminates the w
looth trying to keep tl
than just an occaskuu
retains its beaul
of this opportunity to get a
now the inside of ranges.
9 TT . 1
it narawi
iimiimimiiiiiiiifiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiii
A\
IipjlM / *
ISrJBjr s
HEN YOU WANT HI { -
re yet supplied with a suf- |
to supply any reasonable |
ide on us by fanners and |
lal work animals for farm =
e have the kind that you |
tat will meet your require- |
lality, weight, size, style. | f*
lave a hurry need in your E
can supply you. =
ROTHERS H0RSES I /
UllllllllllllllllHllllillllllllllllllllllMIIIHIlS
SHOP WORK
Please remember that we are always
prepared to supply everything In the
way of Building Materials?Rough and
Dressed Lumber, Door and Window
Frames, Flooring, Celling, Balustrades,
Stair Railings, Mantels, etc., but also
please remember that we have a thoroughly
equipped plant and are prepared
to do all kinds of Mill Work on very
short notice. If you have any special
Kina or flnop worn mai jruu waui sen
us. We have expert workmen to take 4
care of your wishes.
BETTER FLY SCREENS
We have been making lota of Fly
Screens?Doors and Windows?and we
continue to make t' m. Our Screens .
are BETTER than others. We make
them to FIT YOUR Doors and Windows.
They are' built to last and do
last. If you want lasting Screens just y
phone us and we'll take your measures
and give you a satisfactory Job.
LOGAN LUMBER YARD
9T See The Enquirer Office for all
kinds of Commercial Stationery of the
better kinds.
#?
' '
;tic Range
Week
iTRATION AND
JALE OF
Ranges
ie Week Only
14th, 1919 5
leal There Should
four Kitchen
&
idingthe least money?
a price is indeed false ^
ly cost?the little addi;ic
is nothing compared
id satisfactory service. v ^
Ranges, now economi
LSiaciuriiy acrvixig umi,
civilians and soldiers,
eriority over all others.
he public has judged,
as the standard of all
material, workmanship
:ul range is unequaled,
features possessed by
ty is Here?
stic Bargain Week. It's
linted with real facts
you it will be worth
EATURES
Needs No Blacking
r polished cooking top, ?
not only adds to the
lipstirv hut. ahsolntelv
~0 7 ? V
ork, dirt and worry of
le range looking nice?
il thin coat of paraffine
iful velvet blue color.
i
,cquainted with
r>i
ire to.
S N .
?J
?
I
_-!i . '" * 'V'.'<n^:>'<ri'- - in.'i ft' '.'SiV' i-11,'" -