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tumorous Jrpartmrnt. Science and Friendship. A Baltimore man, who frequently visits a scienlillc friend In Catonsville, once found him in his laboratory studying a dark-brown substance spread out on a sheet of paper. "I say. Brown," said the scientilic person when greetings had been duly exchanged, "would you mind letting me place a bit of this on your tongue? My taste has become sadly vitiated by trying all sorts of things." "Certainly," responded the accommodating friend, and he promptly opened his mouth. The professor took some of the substance under analysis and put it on his friend's tongue, whereupon the Baltimore .man worked it around in his mouth for fully a minute, tasting It as he might have sampled a choice confection. "Note any effect?" asked the professor. "No especial enect. "It doesn't paralyze or prick your tongue?" "Not that I can detect." "I didn't think it would. There are no alkaloids in it. then. How does it taste?" "Very bitter." "Very bitter, eh?" Then, after a pause. "AH right, that will do." By this time the caller's curiosity was aroused. "What is It anyhow?" he asked. "I don't know. That's what I am trying to find out. Some one around here has been poisoning horses with it."?Philadelphia Ledger. rNKLlTTABI.e Fatk.?Mr. Savage said that Germany was a hard country for editors. r know a German editor," he sald-"lie is an American editor now?who found himself one night when the paper was about to go to press without any editorials. What was he to do? It was too late to write any himself, too late to have any written. Like a flash an inspiration came to him and, dip ping his pen. he wrote hurriedly: "'After carefully reading the editorials written for the morning's issue by four of the ablest and most brilliant members of our staff, we have come to the conclusion that they might be misinterpreted by the authorities and regarded as an attack on the government. We ourselves consider them perfectly innocent, but as we have no desire to see our newspaper confiscated we have very unwillingly, though as we think prudently, resolved to withhold the articles in question. This must serve as an apology to Our readers for a blank editorial page.' "Imagine this editor's shock when his secretary telephoned him the next morning that the paper had been confiscated. "'But?but on what ground?" the editor gasped. " 'For malicious ridicule of the government authorities by the omission of the editorials.' "?Washington Star. The Reductio ad Infinitum.?The late John Lambert, the Philadelphia artist whose blindness, brought on by th? Ha77.llnc sunshine of a Snanish summer, caused his death through grief, was a -portrait painter of rare taient. "Lambert," said a member of the Philadelphia club the other day, "was a realist. His portraits were true and unflattering. It annoyed him tremendously to be asked to make an ugly woman beautiful?it was the same thing, he used to say, as being asked to lie. "A Spruce street matron sat to Lam bert once. At the end of the third sitting she professed to be quite satisfied with the progress of the work. " 'AH but the mouth.' she said. 'Please make it small and curved. I know it Is a straight, long mouth, really, just as you have drawn it, but in the portrait I want you. if you will, to make it very tiny. Will you?' " 'Certainly, madam,' said Lambert. 'I'll leave it out altogether if you wish.' "?Philadelphia Record. Tit Fob Tat.?A blatant sample of the loud-voiced, self-conscious lookat-me variety of man took his seat in a bus and called to the conductor: "Does this bus go all the way?" "Yes. sir," responded the conductor, politely. "Does it go as far as Oxford street9 I want to get out there." "Yes sir," was the reply. "Well, I want you to tell me when we get there. You'd better stick a stamp on your nose, or put a straw in your mouth, or tie a knot in one of your lips, so that you won't forget it." "It would not be convenient for one in my position to do so," said the conductor, courteously; "but if you will kindly pin your ears around your neck, I think 1 could remember to tell you."?Cassell's Saturday Journal. The Mendacious Clock.?Mrs. Ford had been paying a charitable visit to poor old Victorine Dupreux, whom she found crippled with rheumatism. But if Victorine's limbs were disabled, her always entertaining tongue was not, and the time passed swiftly. "Mercy!" at last cried the lady, glancing at the clock that ticked wheezily above the Frenchwoman's stove. "Here it is "> o'clock, and I should have gone home half an hour ago!" "fleeve you'self 110 distress, madame." reassured Victorine. "Monsieur dose clock, she ess tole lie hon herself for more zan seex year. She ees now to a preciseness one hour fast an' feefteen minute slow."?Youth's Companion. The Weapon.?a better method of meeting a duelling challenge was no doubt one which was employed on a certain occasion by a French statesman against M. Victor Noir, an illiterate bully of the press in the time of the Second Empire. The statesman received from Noir. for no real reason whatever, a challenge to fight a duel. Noir was a densely ignorant man. and nearly every word in the challenge was misspelled. The statesman responded with the following letter: "Dear Sir: You have called me out without any good reason: I have, therefore. the choice of weapons. I choose the spelling book, and you are a dead man." The duel was never fought.? Th-Rits. We am. Have Ocit trovbi.es.?R. L. Ditmars. curator of the New York zoo, has had his lungs slightly affected through his efforts to eradicate consumption among the zoo monkeys. "It is but a small affection." said Mr. Ditmars to a reporter. A month in the mountains will make me all right again. 1 am not sit sill worried. We sill have our troubles, you know. Some of us have the strangest troubles." He smiled. "Two deaf mutes wei'e conversing." he went on. "'Well.' said the first mute, philosophically. 'we all have our troubles." " "How true that is.' said the second. 'I have to tie my wife's hands every night so she won't talk in her sleep.'" A TERRIBLE REWARD. Cromwell's Payment for the Capture of Pembroke Castle. During the struggle between King Charles and the parliament Pembroke castle was so well fortified that Cromwell, with till his cannon, could not take It. After many failures he gave up iiis intention and began to march on f ir Tenby. But before he had proceeded far a country shoemaker came up to Cromwell and asaed him whether ne would reward him if he would tell him how to get the castle into his possession. Cromwell, very glad of this offer, consented. Then this old shoemaker, glad to get some money, as no doubt he was rather poor, told him that there was a pipe through which they got their water and that if he were to cut the pipe the castle would sutrender. Cromwell said, "I thank you for the information you have given me, but as you have turned traitor to your own countrymen the only 10ward I will give you is thatj you shall be hanged on the very next tree that I come to." Cromwell had the shoemaker hanged and cut the pipe he had told him df. leading to the castle, which then" surrendered.?London Telegraph. THE BEST CURE FOR COLIC IN HORSES. Colic is usually the result of indigestion. caused by sudden changes of feed, too long fasting, food given when the horse is exhausted, new hay or grain, or large quantities of green feed. Every horse owner should keep Sloan's Sure Colic Cure in his stable as an insurance against colic, for an attack of colic is liable to come on without warning at any time, and Sloan's Sure Colic Cure is the safest and best remedy to use. It acts instantly on the stomach and bowels and can be given by a woman or a child. "I cured a horse with colic that had been treated by a good veterinary surgeon for forty-eight hours," writes Mr. Ft. A. Pierce, of Cohutta Springs, Ga. "The horse was about dead and the owner said he wouldn't take five cents for him. I gave him three doses of Sloan's Sure Colic Cure and he was up and eating hay in ten minutes.' THE NEW Ado ENLARGED EDITION Of| WEBSTER'S INTERNATIONAL DICTIONARY Excels in Vocabulary. It is t he moat useful in size mid contents, judiciously selected to exclude corruptions of good usage, and to avoid unintelligible technicalities. Excels in Arrangement. Eac h word liegins a paragraph in its correct alphabetical place and is readily caught by the eye. Excels in Etymologies. These "are complete and scientific, und embody the best results of philology. They are not scrimped or crowded into obscure places. Excels in Pronunciation which is indicated byrespellingwith the diacritieally marked letters used in the schoolbooks, t he sounds of which are taught iuthe publie schools. Excels in Delinitions. They are clear, terse, j et complete, and are given in the order in which the word has acquired its shades of meaning. Many of the definitions are illustrated. Excels in its Appendix which is a packed storehouse of useful knowledge. Excels as a Working Dictionary. No other book embodies so much useful information or is so indispensable in the home, study, school, or office. The International has 2380 quarto pages, 5000 illustrations, 25,000 new words, revised Gazetteer of the World, and a revised Biographical Dictionary, etc. It received THE CRAND PRIZE (Highest Award) at the World's Fair, St. Louis. FREE?"A Test in Pronunciation," instructive and entertaining for the whole family. Also /7\\ illustrated pamphlet. f Vv \ I websters | G. & C. MERRIAM CO.. (intern vtwnal) PUBLISHERS, \piCT10NAKYJ Springfield, Mass. CANNED GOODS If you want the highest grade of Canned Goods for your table, you can get them here and at the right prices. Among other canned goods, I have Apples, Peaches, Pineapples, Peas, Corn, Tomatoes, > Canned Syrup. LAMM'S CLOTHING. Come in and let me show you a really superb line of Made-to-Measure Clothing samples?something out of the or' dinary in Quality and Style. Prices to , please. A Perfect Fit Guaranteed. W. M. KENNEDY, Agent. GLENN lV ALLISON. COLE PLANTERS We are just in receipt of a bill from the Cole Manufacturing Company, for a carload of 301 of their Cotton; Cotton and Fertilizer, and Cotton, Corn and Fertilizer Planters. This shipment was made February 28, and we are expecting them by every train. These Planters are too well known for us to attempt to advertise them. The purpose of this advertisement being to notify you that these are coming. GLENN & ALLISON ? -- ? ? Lots on Main Street and On the Outskirts. I am offering the most desirable Main street building lots in Yorkville. Five of them fronting Main street, five more adjoining them in the rear. Lots on the street 25 feet front and 165 feet deep. Lots in rear same size. Prices and terms on application. Also about forty low priced lots in NVesterleigti. Best values in real estate to be had in York county. Also a splendid little farm of thirtyfive acres just without the corporate limits. Handsome site for cottage or bungalo. This is a bargain. LAPPA F. PARISH. jllJCIli | AT YORK? I ^ | J. EDGAR POAG, Broker "Cuts the Earth to Suit Your Taste ICIemson College found the foil analysis of the mineral spring o land: Carbonate of Lime Magnesia Gypsum Sodium Sulphate Potassum Sulphate Sodium Chloride Iron .. Silico I ' / I -w w \ M? I\ a/o.a\ y* ach - %&? \ K \ ^ <J ^ rv.iv,y I \ / I v\ t\Aw .v'/. a* c * ^tww V Lx^<* a-^c> Ml}#1 I To buy a small fax what it is worth to you free among the ladies ar J. EDG^ i_, I Get the H; I OF BUYING FRO I Strauss-S NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT GOODS, DRESS GOODS. TRIMMINGS. > IIATS. HUNTS' FURNISHINGS, FTC.. 1 FINDING WHAT YOU WANT AT ' STR AUSS-SMITII COMPANY. WF MA HAYING EVERYTHING IN OUR LINK, YOl- IN QUALITIES, VARIETIES, STYL Among our latest arrivals are great < Men's Xcckware. Collars. Helts. Hosiery, Hats. etc. FOR THE LADIES?Neckwear. CoIIji wear. Long Silk Gloves in Rlaek and Whi ..The STRAUSS-S Men who arc jairlieular about their f ed with the WALK-OVER?the Most SO hie and llest Wearing Shoes for Men. Sc< )N SALEw ON EASY TT TP 0 n MAM ilium, o. u., iiiuii ^? AFTER COUF The map below shows; the subdivisions of th ER tracts, now owned by Isaac H. Norris, 4 r miles east of Sharon. This map gives the 1 springs, buildings; arid the dotted spaces mai woodland. The property will be sold by numbers to th LIMIT. These lands join the property of Mr shown to prospective purchasers by him. Good school adjoins this property. TERMS OF ONE-THIRD CASH; remainder in Two Equ; by Purchaser's Bond and Mortgage, with 7 P ferred payments. Sellers will furnish Deed; 1 gage and Recording. Buyers have privilege oi ing interest and cost of papers. owing f n this ' t 8.057 / /*'' x 3.H2 Lf 4-678 /r^c <c^ . 3.405 / ,o? .0.375 / i-o58 / Li;**V* .0.058 / E .2.396 / k H*%V i\\% /? I i V v ^0 a <V / \ 23.667 k V i ^ \t? tS. ^ / / I ^\\>\ / Ar7^vi? ?? "' Ail -> /%4 9j rtV /iiVH * l/j f Y""" . A**y 4BXAC*?S. I',/ '.lUt #' ft t f ?i4?ii 4 t , jJLL v? as ' < <t >. I-SViT^? ,7 ^AS,^ i ?v / baIc ( [?/jf ^dA^9- N \ 'f. . -' Ot, a.4' a,?<0' \ ?J A .; * QSAf, \ J .:" ifii9 f <\<* ^ \ 5. .,1/ \ * ?\Jk V Qa/ry -yg^ *?*/ - '.? | >?M> fe4 67| j ;. I ./ $ ' r \ i f* O o ? THIS IS YOUR OI m at your own price, on easy terms, , as we expect to sell it for what it wi id gentlemen who attend the Sale. BE POAG, B ROCK HILL - ibit IRocki M THE I Chairs Jmith Co. Our display of Rockinj ??????????? easily the most elaborate e' I Yorkville. It includes abou TO Ill'Y. IF IT IS DRY of Rocker that is fashioi i'OTION'S. SHOES. MEN'S H days, and is a veritable Rr ,'Oi: CAN BK SIRE OP D There ?re mi: STORE OP THE shapes nf Rockers, with KE A SPECIALTY OF \NI? WE CAN PLEASE I prices that will certainly n ES \NI> PRICES. buyer who is looking for tl quantities and varieties o' H of quality at down boio\ , Shirts. Underwear, Felt H prices. Iif-t us show you. irs. llelts. Hosiery, Under- you will get a SPi'AR to, Handkerchiefs, etc. vol| pUy |10|.p /i/i ith m I The T,rms~Either Cash [Ym I 1 II I just suit yourself, shoes can easily be pleas,?i, Clio Mo,. c??r?r.?. I YORK FURNITUF ; tlieni. H Bf Wanted.?Your orde kinds of printed matter. H at fairest prices. SMALL FJ TERMS t\ i tt i tytvtt rtri DAI, ADftiL O'J LT SALES ? ie LOFTON and R. M. SHER niles west of Yorkville and 2\ ay of the land, streams, oads, k the first and second growth e highest bidders, WITHOUT , Sam T. Ferguson, and will be * h'. vaI " 'M ?. ' ; v, > r SALE: -ML ill Annual Installments, secured er Cent Annual Interest on debuyers to pay for Bond, Mortl Paying All Cash, thereby savOUR / _ Jf ?/* iTk ^ ? *; s 11 *: * * V\ \\V""" v^wy.vA 's|/ f f ? v'' \ \ ' - j.": - . -. ' 4 SACRES. A L,e~\- (?? Vi 5 \ ??V?# W \ - \ f?!9tl*i vv ^ A ?p!?? ??*e vk* * A '{ V**!'.. A',% A %?*Vf'? ?, v?A \ f'.'i v,fff ?v^,f fs\?*A \ ?//?vV?YAV,i\?M A ')? J f ttfjjjp*-" \ ? 7 \ ^ -*1 op ? Of ? r. /v /v g /? /z/3's M e FI c fj_?c_AC_? y o rn vi/i a . c_ s*c /> /9Q9 W- W J?i'>*rS c, a ' 6 J / rt - 4oo/eef ma cH for T. fdyor O a f. 3roK.tr. >PORTUNITY for a home or for speculation. Tel 11 bring. VALUABLE PRESENTS SURE TO ATTEND. trvl^Af "Cuts the E >roKer, Tosmt - - - s. c. mmmmm mmmmmm YORKVILLE MONUMENT WORKS. ngr ? ? s 0 Remember the Read ?, a I I n i Every grave in York county should tl " be appropriately marked with a Tomb- ei stone or Monument. To do this is not only a mark of respect and esteem to k one's departed relatives, but it is de- B y Chairs is sirable and proper to place an endur- T ing record in stone over all graves. If tc ver shown in you have loved ones who have passed (3 t etvi to *',e f>reat beyond and are considery styie inf, ifjea a SU|table marker for w table these theil' graves, we will appreciate a call ai from you that we may have an oppor- ei tcking Chair tunity of showing you designs of Head I Stones and Monuments and quoting T sizes and you prices. a range of YORKVILLE MONUMENT WORKS. & ppoal to the W. B. Wylie, Sec. and Treas. 1 APPLICATION FOR DISCHARGE. \ t e h\e js to notjfy a|| concerned that _ A I have made a final settlement with the probate court of York county as ^ administrator of the estate of W. T. I McKNIGHT, deceased, and that on R DRAT, if April 10, 1908, I will make application ^ to said court for a discharge from further liability in connection with said m r ... administration, or credit? s w McKNIGHT, Admr. w 20 t St CLOTHES CLEANING. _ rri r prepared to clean gentlemen's k J_ C|0thes and ladies' skirts in a tfior- "jl oughiy satisfactory manner, at rea- 13 sonabie prices. Work may be sent dl- be rs for all rect to my home or left at W. E. Fer- fo Best work guson's store Mrs. R. B. McCLAIN. HSl I ? . II li y m ions l! Lll, It/UU g; I AUCTIONEER. t I w P ~ -? li it if V I V . I *M-rriX'r W ti V b I S 84 b I m IT i: w rr 01 11 the Auctioneer will be distributed ;arth 1 Your Taste" | s ?? The Only Chance In Why not trade at the poor ? tan's store? It is the only one in >wn run to serve the working man? 1 pen from 4 a. m., until 8 p. m., and un by a man that will accommodate nd thank you for your trade. While don't keep everything, I keep a very ice line of stuff all the time, and 0 tank every one for their trade as ev- _ ry little helps. It is no use to tell you about my Maret, as every one knows I keep the EST MEATS the country affords, here ain't a man. whman or rhild In mn but what likes to trade with Old eorge?He treats 'em right. Say, if you want to be happy in this orld, marry an old maid, buy Beef _ t Sherer's Market, and drink Crackr-Jack Coffee?that's all. work so hard, but never have a cent, A akes all I get to pay the niggers and r the rent; ay, if I can't get a start In a year or two, will get a job as clerk, that's what nt I'll do. _ Yours to serve, OLD GEORGE, The Butcher. IS YOUR CLOCK RUNNING? ^ rHAT old Clock that has been standing for years, and which you ould like to have keeping time again; 2 at which you think cannot be fixed ? a reasonable price. Bring It to q e. I do reliable, honest work on ratches. IrL. ID. MARLEY EGGS FOR HATCHING. C< JT Y Single Comb Buff Orplng- _ rX tons are better than ever?the ist layers I ever saw, and I sell eggs 1 r $1.00 a setting. . Bl I. II. NORRIS, Yorkvllle, S. C. If 2.1 f tf. WHEN IN THE MARKET For a Buggy or Surrey and not too I'SY to save money on these, call nd allow us to show you our line. For limited time, in order to help build p this branch of our business, we are ividlng our legitimate profit with the til-chaser. We consider our customers our best ilvertisement, but they are too busy nd have something else to do besides lis. so we take this additional means f reaching the buyer. Have bought largely in anticipation f a good year's business, and if prices nd terms are any inducement, we are oing to move them. If you will allow us to show you our ne ami name prices and terms and ou wisely conclude you can get better iducements, we will guarantee you a argain. We sell nothing but what as the guarantee of the makers as rell as our own. Agents for the Keystone Riding Culvator. If you want the best see the [eystone. As usual we are offering Planters, Ustributors and other Farm Implelents very cheap. W. I. WITHERSPOON CO. [f It Is Broken [ Cnn Repair It If your Watch, Clock or Jewelry is ut of repair or broken, I can put elthr or all in good shape again and will e pleases to do the work for you. See Speck Foe Watches and Clocks, Gold, Gold Filled and Silver Jewelry, terling and Plated Silverware, All kinds of China and Crockery, Lamps of all kinds, Spectacles and Eye-Glasses, Fountain Pens and other things. T. W. SPECK, The Jeweler. fORKVILLE BUGGY 0. ["HE BUNNY SOUTH PLANTER Is the latest Improved and the best 'lanter known. There is no wood used 1 its construction, it is all steel or on. Its work can't be equaled and It i sold under an absolute guarantee. Ve have them for sale and ask that ou inspect them before buying. We Iso have all kinds of Plows, Harrows, ultivators. Tools, Wagons. Buggies nd Harness. Call and see us and we 111 save you money. Yorkville Buggy Co rOTICE TO ROAD OVERSEERS. 4 Jl Sections Must Be Put In First Al'IVWiXUX Al U1W No. 3 Law ltange Yorkville. S. C. J. S. BlilCE, ATTORNEY AT LAW Office Opposite Court House. Prompt attention to all legal business ! whatever nature. 4 GEO. W. S. HART, ATTORNEY AT LAW YORKVILLE, 8. C. Law Range. 'Phone Office No. 58 . E. Finley. Marion B. Jennings. F1NEEY & JENNINGS, % YORKVILLE, S. C. Office in Wilson Building, opposite >urt House. Telephone No. 126. If Pink, Gray, Yellow. Buff and t lue Blotting Paper at 5c Sheet, 3 for lo. Size 19x24 inches. The Knqulrer Office. Class Condition at Once. March 24, 1908. A LL of the Road Overseers of York .a. County are hereby called upon to all out the HANDS ON THEIR REPECTIVE SECTIONS and put the :oads In First Class Condition at nee. All able-bodied male citizens besveen the ages of Eighteen and Fifty ears and not specifically exempted y law, are liable to road duty, and lust work FIVE DAYS of 10 hours, r 50 hours. The roads should be well ditched on fie sides and the loose earth pulled ) the centre; all holes should be fllld in as permanent a manner as Is ractlcable with the facilities at hand. The regular road hands can make wonderful Improvement on the oads if they will and it is hoped that le Overseer and hands of every road ^ ?ctlon will strive to do their work etter than the Overseer and hands f any other section. Thomas W. Boyd, Supervisor of York County. Hazel Grist, Clerk of Board. 24 t St REPAIR WORK! If there are any repairs to be ^ lade about your premises or any odd >bs that you want done before the Inter sets in, let us know about them irly, as our carpenters are all busy . ist now and It may be several days fter your order is In before we can et to your work. But, then, you light save time by letting us know at nee. J. J. KELLER & CO. 0" We are Wholesale and Retail < gents for the Limestone Spring Lime forks. See us for your needs. frofessional Cards. * A. Y. CART WRIGHT, lURGEON DENTIST, YORKVILLE, S. C. QA OFFICE HOURS: gam. to i pm.; a p m. to 5 pnr Office upstairs in the Moore build-, g over I. W. Johnson's store. I >R. M. W. WHITE, DENTIST pposite Postoffice, Yorkvillo, S. C. * JOHN R. HART.