Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, January 03, 1908, Image 4
ihimorous Department.
He Blew Into It.
Capt. Watt of the record-breaking
Lusitania was talking about machinery.
"Machinery is delicate stufT," he said,
"and the amateur is wise to let it alone.
You know about the man who blew
down the gas meter?"
"No."
"Well, at the club one night, a cer
tain man complained bitterly about his
gas bills.
" 'Hang it ail.* he said, 'my bills are
something enormous. I'm sure I don't
burn all that gas. The company, consarn
it, is cheating me.'
"A friend spoke up and said:
" 'Look here, do you want to know
how to get the better of the gas company
?'
" 'Gee, I Just do!" exclaimed the man.
" 'Then,' said the friend, 'blow down
the meter. Every night, before you
turn in. blow down the meter. The
meter, you see, is full of little wheels,
all turning, turning, piling up big bills
against you every time you light the
gas. But blow down the pipe and'
"The friend gave a loud laugh at the
delightful thought.
" 'Just blow down the pipe, and?he,
ha. ha?all the little wheels turn the
other way.'
"The man thanked his friend for this
good and valuable advice, went straight
home, and blew a long and powerful
blast down the pipe of the gas meter
before retiring. He did this every
night. But once did he forget, the last
thing before going to bed, to blow the
meter with terrific force.
."Well, In due course, at the month's
end the Inspector came.
"The man welcomed the inspector a
trifle nervously, and hung about the
cellar door to hear what the fellow
would have to say after his inspection.
"The Inspector emerged from the cellar
studying a column of figures with
a puzzled frown. He looked up at the
master of the house and said in a
strange voice:
" 'Well, Mr. Smith, I don't know what
the dickens has been happening to
your meter, but the company owes you
$34.17.'"?San Francisco Chronicle.
A Lost Reputation to Lose.?It was
midnight, and a drizzle was falling
steadily. A man shuffled along Oxford
street, Manchester, England, hugging
the walls for shelter. Presently he
spoke to a passerby:
"Could you give me a copper, sir, toward
my night's lodging?"
"How much have you got already?"
"Twopence, sir: and if I had another
twopence"?
"You can get a comfortable bed in a
warm room at the Salvation Army
shelter in Shepstow street for twopence."
"Salvation Army?" This with a decided
sniff. "Thank you. sir. I haven't
come to that yet!"
It was an experience which recalls
Gen. Booth's story of the drunken woman
who was carried into a Salvation
Army shelter. When she recovered
consciousness and was told where sne
was, she exclaimed in horror-stricken
tones:
"Salvation Army! Goodness gracious,
I must get out of this, or I shall lose
my reputation!"?Illustrated Sunday
Magazine.
A Gentle Hint.?"I got a neat rebuke
for my curiosity once," said a
well known Baltimore man, "and it
was administered by a native of the
Cheat river region in West Virginia.
"I had stopped overnight in the district
in question, and in the morning
was strolling about the place, asking
all sorts of questions. Presently I met
a lanky mountaineer, who greeted me
with 'Howdy' and passed the time of
day most pleasantly. Seeing that he
was barefooted, a circumstance, it
seemed to me, quite odd in a mountainous
region. I asked:
" 'Is it the custom of this country
for the men to go without shoes?"
"Waal," the native drawled, "some
on us do, but most on us atten's to
our own business."?Lippincott's.
No Trouble at All.?One day last
summer a German entered the establishment
of a photographer in a southern
town, and after several glances
about the place, observed mournfully
that the photographer did not seem to
have the properties essential to the
taking of a picture he desired.
"I should like a bicture of ineself
veepin' peside my vlfe's grafe," he said.
"Maype you tlx a grafe here in de shop
for me?"
"I am afraid I haven't the necessary
accessories." said the photographer.
Then, with an attempt at facetiousness,
he suggested: "Couldn't we arrange to
have the portrait made at the grave itself?"
"Dot's in Pennsylvania." said the
German. "It vould be too exbenslve to
x* go there. Yust you fix up some kind of
a grafe here in de shop. I could veep
on dot. It's no trouble for me to veep
anyvere."?Harper's Weekly.
l I visited a school one day where
invtriir.fi, in \vn? nil ft nf th#? (lailv
course, and in order to test the children's
knowledge asked some questions,
says a writer in the Montreal
Star. One class of little girls looked
particularly bright, and I asked the
tallest one: "What sin did Adam commit?"
"He ate forbidden fruit."
"Right. What tempted Adam?"
"Eve."
"Not really Eve. but the serpent. And
how was Adam punished?"
The girl hesitated and looked confused.
Behind her sat a little eightyear
old, who raised her hand and said:
"Please, pastor, I know."
"Well, tell us! how was Adam punished?"
"He had to marry Eve."
A Wise Boss.?In a New York street
a wagon loaded with lamp globes collided
with a truck and many of the
globes were smashed. A benevolentlooking
old gentleman eyed the driver
compassionately. "My poor man," he
said, "I suppose you will have to make
good this loss out of your own pocket?"
"Yep," was the melancholy reply.
"Well, well." said the philanthropic old
gentleman, "hold out your hat?here's
a quarter for you, and I dare say some
of these other people will give you a
helping hand too. The driver held out
his hat. and several persons hastened j
to drop coins into it. At last, when the
contributions had ceased, he emptied the
contents of his hat into his pocket.
Then, pointing to the retreating figure
of the philanthropist who had started
the collection, he observed: "Say, maybe
he ain't the wise guy! That's me
boss!"?Bellman.
Miscellaneous trading.
I . - .??;
IN COUNTIES ADJOINING.
News and Comment Clipped From
Neighboring Exchanges.
CHESTER.
Lantern, December 31: Married Dec.
23rd. 1907. at the parsonage at Capers'
Chapel by Rev. A. E. Holler, Miss Judith
Hardin, daughter' of the late Jos.
Hardin of the Armenia neighborhood,
and Mr. Peter Hardin, son of Mr. and
I Mrs. Adam Hardin of this city. Married
Dec. 24. 1907. at the residence of
Mr. I. N. Whiteside at Lewlsville, by
Rev. R. A. Lummus, Mrs. Lilly McNeill
of Lando, and Mr. Robert H.
Westbrook of Lyle Miss Docia
Peach of Westvllle, returned to her
home this morning, after spending a
few days at the homes of Mr. J. P.
Yandle and Mr. J. P. Yandle, Jr
Miss Alice Craig of Yorkville, is spending
several days at the home of her
sister, Mrs. Ellen Rothrock Mr.
W. A. Latimer received a telegram yesterday
morning from his son. Mr. J.
Frank Latimer of Adrian, Mich., saying
that his wife died Saturday night.
Ua u-ov tr? Phpctpr with <ho
remains. It was known that she was
sick, but the news of her death was a
shock. She leaves a little daughter.
It will be remembered that their oldest
child died while they were living in
Chester Mrs. R. W. Carson of
Gastonia, and Misses Lizzie and Josie
Bigham spent from Thursday afternoon
until Saturday with their sister. Mrs.
J. B. Simpson, near Edgmoor. On
Friday, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson celebrated
the twenty-fifth anniversary of
their marriage, with a family dinner.
Mrs. Margaret Simpson and Miss Agnes
Simpson. Mr. and Mrs. F. M. Simpson
and sons, Messrs. Eliie and Albert
Simpson. Mr. T. S. Ferguson and Miss
Mattie Ferguson. Mr. and Mrs. Frank
Thomas and Revs. J. H. Simpson and
R. A. Lummus, were present to enjoy
the day, in addition to those already
mentioned. The day was very pleasantly
spent in social intercourse. In
the afternoon there was music on the
violin and guitar by Rev. J. H. Simpson
and Messrs. Frank Thomas and
Albert Simpson. In the evening Misses
Eugenia, Margie and Martoeii Simpson
entertained a number of their friends
at a social All of the Lowryville
students are home spending the holidays,
from Clemson, Messrs. Stuart
Abell, John Wilson, Richard Atkinson,
and also Ralph Lowry who is a member
of the graduating class: from Linwood,
Misses Reedy Hope and Anise
Abell: from Winthrop, Misses Louise
Guy and Violet Anderson; and from
Due West, Miss Fannie Darby and her
visitor. Miss Bryson; from the Normal
at Asheville, Misses Essie and Dora
Guy. Miss Hester Titman from Burlington.
N. C., and Miss Julia Titman
from Spencer, N. C., are at home for
the holidays. Mr. Jas. G. Lowry, superintendent
of the Rowesvllle Graded
schools, is spending a two weeks vacation
at his home in Lowryville.
LANCASTER.
Ledger, January 1: Mr. Joseph K.
Connors, presumably in a spirit of desperation,
visited the antique town of
jj|P
wbere ^
J If*? ^3 ^cn y01
11Ismoke
0{|en j
^ *n some 1
Lf ) ( naee does
f PERFECTIOI
(Equipped with S
I? to the room you want to heal
\? house. It has a real smokele
J)/m smoke or smell?turn the
///mm as ^ow as y?u ?^ra
([(((fflL that gives out glowing
Illlm ished in japan and
111 onirti^oro Pvpf
Illlllllllllllfflk.
| Thej^B^&Lamp
' it the lamp lor the student or
V reader. It gives a brilliant, steady light
I that makes study a pleasure. Made ol brass, nil
I with the latest improved central draft burner.
II you cannot obtain the Perfection Oil Heat
I your dealer write to our nearest agency for do
STANDARD OIL. CO?
k (Iaeorporsted)
Wr the sti
Fish scrap is used
balanced and careful!
H ill { MB
9' ~ i
Kingville last Thursday evening. Everybody.
by the way, who has ever
been to Charleston or Columbia knows
Kingville. According to an old tradition.
it Avas the original site selected
for hades, but was abandoned for the
reason that it was considered too dismal
even for the devil....Master Frank
.Moon Boldridge, son of Dr. and Mrs.
J. 11. Boldridge. prompted no doubt by
a spirit of adventure, left home without
the knowledge of his parents on Christmas
Eve sind for several days his
whereabouts was unknown. He was
finally located in a neighboring town
and brought home, safe and sound,
?-*-? nob 1a tbn rolinf onrl irw r\f hie fj T> Y -
ious parents and friends... .Mr. Marion
Sims of Georgia, who recently killed
a man named Benjamin Dightfoot
at Desoto, in that state. Is thought to be
a kinsman of Mr. J. B. Sims, of this
vicinity, as he has a first cousin of
that name in Georgia, whose father
moved from this county to Georgia
many years ago. The homicide is said
to have grown out of a family feud....
While out hunting last Thursday, Mr.
J. K. Bowers of the Fork Hill section,
shot and killed on the wing a large
wild turkey gobbler. On Saturday
Fresident Roosevelt performed a similar
feat in Virginia Mr. Frank
Hough of Kershaw, who shot and killed
Henry McPherson, colored, in this
county on the 21st ultimo, was admitted
to bail last Friday by Associate
Justice Ira B. Jones in the sum of $1,500.
The defendant promptly gave
bond and was discharged. He was
represented in tne morion xor own uy
Attorney E. D. Blakeney of Kershaw,
while Mr. Wylle of the I^ancaster bar,
appeared for tlie State at the request
of Solicitor Henry. It will be recalled
that McPherson was killed while resisting
arrest. Mr. Hough, who was
acting as constable, having a warrant
for him, which he was reading to the
negro, when the latter drew a gun and
snapped it a time or two at the officer
before he could use his own weapon.
GASTON.
Gastonia Gazette, December 31: Prof.
Edgar Long, assistant professor of
English at Erskine college. Due West,
S. C., arrived Saturday night and spent
Sunday and Monday here with his parents,
Mr. and Mrs. L. H. Long. Mr.
Long has the distinction of being one
of the youngest college professors In
South Carolina. He has a wide circle
of friends in Gastonia who were glad
to see him back if only for a day or
two and who are glad to hear of his
success at Due West Mrs. Perry
Dover and daughters. Misses Ovella
and Hertie Dover, left yesterday for
Columbia, S. C., to spend a few days
with Mrs. Dover's son, Mr. Will McLoud
Miss Kate Cody of Yorkville,
S. C., and Miss Ethel Hicks of
Charlotte, spent the holidays at their
respective homes Two young couples
on matrimony bent drove from
unerryvuie to tmiver iu>i ? uuiaua; ,
where they were married. Both were |
surprise wedding's. Mr. Ed Stroup and
Miss Edith Aderhnldt and Mr. Turley
Aderholdt and Miss Mildred Hoffman
were the two couples. Mr. Stroup's
bride is a daughter of Mr. Will Aderholdt
of Cherryville. Miss Hoffman,
who was married to Mr. Aderholdt,
lives near Dallas.
a want It? ^WJJJIJJJ I)
?no smell?no tronble. yUl I'
fou want heat in a hurry ^Lllli
oom in the house the fur
; not reacn. us so easy w */.
and carry a W
V Oil Heater I
Smokeless Device) I
t?suitable for any room in the JR
ss device absolutely preventing Jr\\
wick as high as you can or Jrjlj
ss font holds 4 quarts of oil MJJJJ
heat for 9 hours. Fin- [j|
nickel?an ornament /J==?l\\\\\\^
y heater warranted, y* m
Jtel plated and equipped 11 ]1 j | |i|========^2^ J111
Every lamp warranted. //////fnTTir' "'HTm I
a or Rayo Lamp from I f%^vj I
icriptive circular, ([(((//[[j/////||
iibmB
THTCT
: OLD TIME FISH Gl
twenty-three years
indard of the South.
1 in every ton of Farmers* Bone,
y mixed, insuring bigger yields with 1
TRADE MA
REGISTER
e that this trade mark is
S. Royster Gi
Norfolk, Virgini.
1907-1908
Although we were only In business
for a short time during the present
year we have no complaint to make
at the patronage we have received
from the Furniture buying public.
We copld have watted on more trade,
but at the same time we are highly
pleased at the patronage we have received,
and extend our thanks for any
favors extended to us during the year.
We wish all our customers and friends
a Prosperous New Year.
During the year just a-dawning we
will be fully prepared to meet the demands
of the furniture buying public,
and invite all who wish to buy anything
in Furniture, Rugs, Pictures,
Stoves, Ranges, etc., to come to see us
before buying. We believe we can
make it to your interest to do so.
Yours truly,
CARROLL FURNITURE CO.
TAX RETURNS TOR 1908,
Office of the County Auditor of York
County, South Carolina.
Yorkville, S. C., Nov. 29, 1907.
AS required by statute my books
will be opened at my office in
Yorkville on WEDNESDAY, JANURY
1, 1908, and kept open until FEBRUARY
20, 1908, for the purpose of
listing for taxation all TAXABLE
PROPERTY held in York County on
January 1, 1908.
Returns made on proper blanks, and
sworn to before an officer qualified to
administer an oath and forwarded to
me by registered mail before February
20, 1908, will be accepted.
All taxpayers are particularly requested
to inform themselves as to the
number of their respective school districts,
and where they have property
in more than one school district, they
will please make separate returns indicating
the location of each piece of
property. The school districts in
which there are special levies are as
follows: Nos. 13, 29 and 33 in Bethesda;
Nos. 9, 20 and 40 in Broad River;
Nos. 9 and 20 in Bullock s Creea; No.
12 in Catawba; Nos. 7 and 12 in Ebenezer;
Nos. 26, 28 and 39 in Fort Mill;
Nos. 11, 20, 33 and 36 in York.
For the purpose of facilitating the
taking of returns, and for the greater
convenience of tax payers, I will be at
the following places on the dates
named:
At Clover, Monday and Tuesday,
January 6 and 7.
At Bethany, Wednesday, January 8.
Al Smyrna, inursuay, January ?.
At Hickory Grove, Friday and Saturday,
January 10 and 11.
At Sharon, Monday and Tuesday,
January 13 and 14.
At Bullock's Creek, Wednesday,
January 15.
At McConnellsville, Thursday, January
16.
At Ogden, Friday, January 17.
At Coates's Tavern?Roddeys?Saturday,
January 18.
At Tirzah, Monday, Janary 20.
At Newport, Tuesday, January 21.
At Fort Mill, Wednesday, Thursday
and Friday, January 22, 23, 24.
At Rock Hill, Monday, January 27,
to Saturday, February 1.
At Piedmont, Tuesday, February 4.
At Yorkville from Wednesday, February
5 to Thursday, February 20.
All males between the ages of twenty-one
and sixty years, except Confederate
soldiers over the age of lifty
years, are liable to a poll tax of $1,
and all persons so liable are especially
requested to give the numbers of their
respective school districts in making
their returns
It will be a matter of much accommodation
to me if as many taxpayers
as possible will meet me at the respective
appointments, mentioned above
so as to avoid the rush at Yorkville
during the closing days.
JOHN J. HUNTER,
County Auditor.
Yorkville, S. C., Nov. 29, 1907.
96 f 4t
REPAIR WORK!
If there are any repairs to be B
made about your premises or any odd I
jobs that you want done before the I
winter sets in, let us know about them I
early, as our carpenters are all busy
just now and It may be several days
after your order Is in before we can
get to your work. But, then, you
might save time by letting us know at
once.
J. J. KELLER & CO.
We are Wholesale and Retail
Agents for the Limestone Spring Lime
Works. See us for your needs.
START*?
A BANK ACCOUNT
WITH US NOW
WE WILL DO EVERYTHING POS
SI BLR TO SERVE YOU A\I? FURTHER
YOUR INTERESTS.
BANK OF
HICKORY GROVE.
k I
on every bag. I
uano Co. I
i.
r25%|
OFF
u" ? n ?
men s, xioys,
Children's
CLOTHING
10 PER CEN
2.5 PEK CE
MEN'S CLOTHING AN
$20.00 Suits now $15.00.
$18.00 Suits now $13.50.
$16.00 Suits now $12.00.
$15.00 Suits now $11.25.
$12.00 Suits now $9.
$10.00 Suits now I
$8.00 Suits 1
$6.00 Sui
25 PER CE
YOUTHS' AND BOYS' CLOI
$6.00 Suits now $4.50.
$5.00 Suits now $3.75.
$4.00 Suits now $3.00.
$3.00 Suits now $2.7,
$2.00 Suits now
20 PER CE
LADIES', MISSES' AND CI
$4.50 Shoes now $3.60.
$4.00 Shoes now $3.20.
$3.50 Shoes now $2.80.
$3.00 Shoes now $2.4
$2.00 Shoes now
$1.50 Shoes 1
$1.00 Sh(
20 PER CE
MEN'S AND BOY
$5.50 Shoes now $4.40.
$5.00 Shoes now $4.00.
$4.00 Shoes now $3.20.
$3.50 Shoes now $2.1
$3.00 Shoes nou
$2.50 Shoes
$2.00 SI
$i-S
j Yorkvi
W ABSOLUTELY SAFE
Pi
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to
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p
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fe
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CO
TO OUR CI
3
H
has been gr
q appreciation
52 under all cii
M
< this year w<
kwlth outside
and could h
ferred, how
AT ALL TIJ
"toiners in 01
for a higher
We have ne
INSTANCES
w
fare alike, h
W I
r* way. We w
HH
H want failure
c_,
from heavy
0
CO * the year 19(
PQ
<J and constan
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store for yoi
P THE N
W
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aiu aavs A73xmosav
our cm
CONTINl
FEB. 1!
You Will S
If You B
T OFF ON
NT OFF
D OVERCOATS.
,00.
$7-50.
iow $6.00.
ts now $4.50. I MT
npp
1.1 JL V/? X'
"HING, OVERCOATS.
5$1.50.
INT OFF
KILDREN'S SHOES
%
0.
$1.60.
low $1.20.
)es now 80 Cents.
NT OFF
S' SHOES
to.
r $2.40.
now $2.00.
loes now $1.60.
;o Shoes now $1.20.
ille B. &
gr ABSOLUTE
}PEN
JSTOMERS AND FRIENDS:
Wc want to say that the
catly appreciated. We have trie
i of It, and believe that we have I
rcumstances their interests are F
e had a large amount of Idle mc
; parties on the very highest class
ave, therefore, swelled our profit i
ever, to show to our CUSTOMEI
UES and refused to take on any o
rder that they might handle theli
price, and let them have the M <
ver one time regretted doing tills,
? HOW MUCH THIS WAS APP1
irge or small.
\
t has always been our aim to aii
Hill evcrjuiie UI infill iu umnc <*
ss; we want successful customers
losses without one cent of comper
907 has been our most propcrous
)8 with larger resources antl wltl
tly Increasing business with whlcl
ou have our best wishes and our
ii happiness and prosperity.
ATIONAI
(Absolute!
? HILL,
aavs Aiaj
1:PRICES"
JED TO
ST, '08.
mm
ave money
uy Here
NOTIONS, fi
10 Per Cent Of
$1.50 per yard, now $1.35.
$1.25 per yard, now $1.13.
$1.00 per yard, now 90
85c. per yard, now
75c per yard, r
50c. per y
10 Per (]
ALL UNDE
$1.00 Shirt or Drawers, now got
50c. Shirt or Drawers, now
Cut Prices
MEN'S DRESS OR
<Ct of Ql-iirf nmxr twn fnr
.. - " ? ?
$1.00 Shirt, now two for
50c. Shirt, now tw
45c. Shirt, r
25 Per C
on all ladies', misses
$20.00 Coats now $15.00.
$18.00 Coats now $13.50.
$16.00 Codts now $12.00.
$15.00 Coats now $11
$12.00 Coats, now
$10.00 Coats, n
$8.00 Coai
$6.00 (
$5-c
<
millin
25,15 and 10 p:
EVERYTHING IN JE
VERY LOWE!
mt above prices are
fl. Comj
ly safe m
LET!
Rock Hill, 6. C? December 30, 1907
business which you have ffiven this
[1 to show you in different ways our
In a measure snown to our customer*
IRST with us. During the latter pi
>ney on hand which we could have p
of security at an enormous rate of int
account several thousand dollars. We
IS THAT WE WERE LOYAL TO T
lutslde loans, preferring to lend to our
? legitimate business and hold their c
OXEY AT SIX PER CE
for WE HAVE BEEN SHOWN IN M
IECIATED BY THEM. In this Ban
I OUR CUSTOMERS in every legltl
success in his line of business. We d<
i and we have often saved our custc
isation to ourselves,
year since organization and we conin
It a Ann determination to merit the
ti we are favored.
sincere hope that the coming year h
- UNION E
ly Safe)
- - - S.
,mosav m.
25%n j
?ff ?
All Men's i
and Boys'
OVERCOATS
I ATS, ETC. ^
f Dress Goods
i Cents.
76 Cents.
low 68 Cents. fl
ard, now 45 Cents. 1
1e?t Off J
r?titt? a n
nw&nn
: or 2 for $1.75.
45 or 2 for 85 Cents.
5 On All
: TOP SHIRTS. j|
' $1-75. I
o for 85 Cents. ^
iow two for 75 Cents. ^
"ent Off
CHILDREN'S COATS.
%
25. \
$9.00. I 1
ow $7.50.
ts now $6.00
?oats now $4.50.
o Coats now $3.70. 1
?4.00 Coats now $3.00. 4
$3.00 Coats now $2.75.
ERY
ER CENT OFF
iWELRY AT THE
ST PRICES . ^
FOR SPOT CASH -*t ^
)any. j ^
^BSOUJTEL^AFE^r"
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