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ISSUED SEHI-WEEKL^ l. m. grist's sons, Publishers. \ % <jfaniilr! Jleirspaper: j! or the promotion of the political, Social, Qfgrimltnrat, and ommei;rial Interests of the people. { teem,s,';o?e copy* F^'cramf'108" established 1855. YORKVILLE, S. C., FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1903. ISTO. 837 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat I 6/>e SKI < ====== i :By KALPI J Au t h J "The Man Fr > "Gleng&rry School D* < Copyright, 1899. by FLEM ^ ? fffTfTffTVTVTVTTTfffTVVT^ CHAPTER V. FIRST BLOOD. t \NE Is never so enthusiastic In I J tbe early morning, when the ntmgn emotions are calmest and the ITwHSU nerves are steadiest. But I was determined to try to have the baseball match postponed. There could be no difficulty. One day was as much of a holiday as another to these easy going fellows. But the Duke, when I suggested a change in the day, simply raised his eyebrows an eighth of an Inch and said: "Can't see why the day should be changed." Bruce stormed and swore nil sorts of destruction upon himself If he was going to change his style of life for any man. The others followed the Duke's lead. That Sunday was a day of incongruities. The old and the new, the east and the west, the reverential past and the iconoclastic present were Jumbling themselves together in bewil-1 dering confusion. The baseball match was played with much vigor and profanity. The expression on the Pilot's face as he stood watching for awhile was a curious mixture of Interest, surprise, doubt and pain. He was readjusting himself. He was so made as to be extremely sensitive to his surroundings. He took on color quickly. The utter indifference to, the audacious disregard of all he had hitherto considered sacred and essential was disconcerting. They were all so dead sure. How did he know they were wrong? It was his first near view of practical, living skepticism. Skepticism in a book did not disturb him; he could put down words against it. But here it was alive, cheerful, attractive, indeed fascinating; for these men in their western garb and with their western swing had captured his Imagination. He was in a fierce struggle, and in a few minutes I saw him disappear into the coulee. Meantime the match went uproariously on to a finish, with the result that the champions of Home had "to stand the pain killer," their defeat being due chiefly to the work of Hi and Bronco Bill as pitcher and catcher. The celebration was in run swing, or, i as HI put It, "the boys were takln' their pizen good an' calm," when In walked the Pilot. His face was still troubled and his lips were drawn and blue, as if he were In pain. A silence fell on the men as he walked In through the crowd and up to the bar. He stood a moment hesitating, looking round upon the faces, flushed and hot, that were now turned toward him In curious defiance. He noticed the look, and it pulled him together. He faced about toward old Latour and asked him In a high, clear voice: "Is this the room you said we might have?" The Frenchman shrugged his shoulders and said: "There is not any more." The lad paused for an instant, but only for an Instant. Then, lifting a pile of hymn books he had near him on the counter, he said in a grave, sweet voice and with the quiver of a smile about his lips: "Gentlemen, Mr. Latour has allowed me this room for a religious service. It will give me great pleasure if you will all Join," and immediately he handed a book to Bronco Bill, who, surprised, took It as if he did not know what to do with it. The others followed Bronco's lead till he came to Bruce, who refused, saying roughly: "No, I don't want it; I've no use for It!" The missionary flushed and drew back as if be bad been struck, but immediately, as if unconsciously, the Duke, who was standing near, stretched out his hand and said, with a courteous bow, "I thank you, I should be glad of one." "Thank you," replied the Pilot simply as he handed him a book. The men seated themselves upon a bench that ran round the room or leaned up against the counter, and most of them took off their hats. Just then In came Muir, and behind him his little wife. In an instant the Duke was on his feet, and every hat came off. The missionary stood up at the bar and announced the hymn, "Jesus, Lover of My Soul." The silence that followed was broken by the sound of a horse galloping. A buckskin bronco shot past the window, and in a few moments there appeared at the door the Old Timer. He was about to stride in when the unusual sight of a row of men sitting solemnly with hymn books in their hands held him fast at the door. He gazed in an amazed, helpless way upon the men, then at the missionary, then back at the men, and stood speechless. Suddenly there was a high, shrill, boyish laugh, and the men turned to see the missionary in a fit of laughter. It certainly was a shock to any lingering ideas of religious propriety they might have about them; but the contrast between his frank, laughing face and the amuzed and disgusted face of the shaggy old man in the doorway was too much for them, and one by one they gave way to roars of laughter. The Old Timer, however, kept his face unmoved, strode up to the bar and nodded to old Latour, who served him his drink, which he took at a gulp. "Here, old man!" called out Bill. "Get Into the game; here's your deck!" offering him his book. But the missionary iilAAAAAillAAAAiAAAAAAAi^i rPILOT I i COjVJVOH. t ior of ? om Glenfi&rry" J ys" &nd "Blfeck Rock" ING H. REV1.LL COMPANY FITT?f??1fT?TTTTTIf?fTT??Tf* was oerore Kim, ana with very Deautlful grace he handed the Old Timer a book and pointed him to a seat. I shall never forget that service. As a religious affair it was a dead failure, but somehow I think the Pilot, as Hi approvingly said, "got in his funny work," and it was not wholly a defeat The first hymn was sung chiefly by the missionary and Mrs. Mulr, whose voice was very high, with one or two of the men softly whistling an accompaniment. xne Becuuu u^mu was better, and then came the lesson, the story of the feeding of the five thousand. As the missionary finished the story. Bill, who had been listening with great interest, said: "I say, pard. I think I'll call you just now." "I beg your pardon!" said the startled missionary. "You're glvin' us quite a song and dance now, ain't you?" "I don't understand," was the puzzled reply. "How many men was there in the crowd?" asked Bill with a Judicial air. "Five thousand." "And how much grub?" "Five loaves and two fishes," answered Bruce for the missionary. "Well," drawled Bill with the air of a man who has reached a conclusion, "that's a little too unusual for me. Why," looking pityingly at the missionary, "it ain't natarel." "Right you are, my boy," said Bruce, with a laugh. "It's deueedly unnatural." "Not for him," said the missionary quietly. Then Bruce joyfully took him up and led him on into a discussion of evidences, and from evidences into metaphysics, the origin of evil and the freedom of the will, till the missionary, as Bill said, "was rattled worse nor a rnnstpp in the dark." Poor litt'e Mrs. Muir was much scandalized and looked anxiously at her husband, wishing him to take her out. But help came from an unexpected quarter, and Hi suddenly called out: "Here you, Bill! Shut your blanked Jaw, and you. Bruce, give the man a chance to work off his music." "That's so!" "Fair play!" "Go on!" were the cries that came in response to Hi's appeal. The missionary, who was all trembling and much troubled, gave Hi a grateful look and said: "I'm afraid there are a great many things I don't understand, and I am not good at argument." There were shouts of "Go on!" "Fire ahead!" "Play the game!" but he said, "I think we will close the service with a hymn." His frankness and modesty and his respectful, courteous manner gained the sympathy of the men, so that all Joined heartily in singing, "Sun of My Soul." In the prayer that followed his voice grew steady and his nerve came back to him. The words were very simple, and the petitions were mostly for light and for strength. With a few words of remembrance of "those in our homes far away who think of us and pray for us and never forget," this straggoservice was brought to a close. After the missionary had stepped^pjjt the whole affair was discuss^^with great warmth. Hi Kendal" UMMght "the Pilot didn't have Q(^flpv,K maintaining that when hflH^ppin' n steer he dill" ^MtfSed ten derfoot to be sb^ s rope like Bill there." But Bin steadily maintained his position that "the story of that there picnic was a little too unusual" for him. Bruce was trying meanwhile to beguile the Duke Into a discussion of the physics and metaphysics of the case. But the Duke refused with quiet contempt to he drawn into a region where he felt himself a stranger. Ee preferred poker himself if Bruce cared to take a hand, and so the evening went on. with the theological discussion by Hi and Bill in a judicial, friendly spirit in one corner, while the others for the most part played poker. When the missionary returned late there were only a few left in the room, among them the Duke and Bruce, who was drinking steadily and losing money. The missionary's presence seemed to irritate him. and he played even more recklessly than usual, swearing deeply at every loss. At the? door the missionary stood looking up into the niglK sky and humming softly "Sun of My Soul," and after a few minutes the Duke joined In humming a bass to the air till Bruce could contain himself no longer. "I say." he called out, "this isn't any blanked prayer meeting, is it?" The Duke ceased humming and. looking at Bruce, said quietly: "Well, what is it? What's the trouble?" "Trouble!" shouted Bruce. "I don't see what hymn singing has to do with a poker game." "Oh. I see! I beg pardon! Was I singing?" said the Duke. Then, after a pause, he added: "You're quite right. I say. Bruce, let's quit. Something has got on to your nerves." And, coolly sweeping his pile into his pocket, h" gave up the game. With an oath Bruce left the table, took another drink and went unsteadily out to his horse, and soon we heard him ride away into the darkness, singing snatches of the hymn and swearing the most awful oaths. The missionary's face was white with horror. It was all new and horrible to him. "This isn't any blanked prayer meeting, Is itf" "Will lie~get safely home?" he asked of the Duke. "Don't you worry, youngster," said the Duke in his loftiest manner. "He'll get along." The luminous, dreamy eyes grew hard and bright as they looked the Duke in the face. "Yes, I shall worry, but you ought to worry more." "Ah," said the Duke, raising his brows and smiling gently upon the bright, stern young face lifted up to his. "I didn't notice that I had asked your opinion." "If anything should happen to him," replied the missionary quickly, "I should consider you largely responsible." "That would be kind," said the Duke, still smiiing with his lips. But after a moment's steady look into the missionary's eyes he nodded his head twice or thrice and without further word turned away. The missionary turned eagerly to me: "They beat me this afternoon," he cried, "but, thank God, I know now they are wrong and I am right! I don't understand! I can't see my way through! But I am right! It's true! I feel it's true! Men can't live without him and be men!" And long after I went to my shack that night I saw before me the eager face with the luminous eyes and heard the triumphant cry: "I feel it's true! Men can't live without him and be men!" And I knew that though his first Sunday ended in defeat there was victory yet awaiting him. TTk "RT7! OnVTTNTTED. CEMENT POSTS SUPPLANT WOOD. Wisconsin Company Have a Plant First of Its Kind In America. One of the unique factories in this country is located in Janesville, Wis. In fact, it is the only institution of the kind in the country, and possibly in the world. Here cement fence posts are made in a plant, the capacity of which is 5,000 posts each day, with a demand for the product which in the near future will necessitate adding to its producing power. The Janesville Fence Post company was organized last year, the Hayes Brothers of Janesville, well-known railroad contractors, being the principal stockholders and promoters. A location was secured near the city adjacent to a -sand hill, and the work of manufacturing was begun. The posts are made from Portland cement and sand, and it is claimed they will last rffl^ever, hardening with age and being [Adaptable for every purpose to which cedar and steel posts are put. The product of the factory is limited to fence and mile posts of different shapes and sizes, but the plan is to a id other cement products to the output. D. W. Hayes is the father of the plan to utilize the extensive sand deposits here in the manufacture of posts. While working at putting in the Chicago drainage canal, near Lockport, 111., it became necessary to demolish an old mill built of cement. The contractors found the mill was practically built of indestructible material. Impervious alike to blasting or drilling and the project of tearing it down became a considerable problem. This led to an investigation into the material irom which mc um jji vj had been constructed. Mr. Hayes discovering that it was far less difficult to pulverize the stones and pebbles found imbedded in the artificial rock than it was to break the cement itself. Coupling the fact that cedar and other woods are becoming scarce and more expensive and that cement posts could be manufactured at practically the selling price of a cedar post, Mr. Hayes determined upon the establishment of the factory at Janesville. Although manufacturing was begun only in March, the entire output of the factory is commanded by the trade. A number of the farmers in this section are using the posts and find them cheaper than the cedar posts so long used.?Milwaukee Sentinel. Disk.noha.nted.?"Until I met you, Matilda." he murmured in a voice husky with emotion, "I believed that al! women were deceitful, but when I look into your clear, beautiful eyes I behold there the very soul of candor and loyalty." "George." she exclaimed with enthusiasm, "this is the happiest moment I have known since papa took me to the London occulist!" "London occulist!" "Yes, dear; you never would have known that my left eye is a glass one." Then the moon went under a cloud, and George sat down and buried his face in the sofa cushion.?London Answers. >w The Portuguese are great consumers of wine, owing to its extreme cheapness, but there is not much drunkenness. Jttiscrllanfous Reading. REMBERT FOR DEFENSE. Eltoquent Plea of a Former Member of the First Regiment. Augusta Chronicle: George Rembert, only two years a lawyer, and a former member of Tillman's regiment, was the second speaker In the Tillman trial today. He Is quite youthful In fact, and more so In appearance. Very little more than a sophomoric effort was expected from this young man. He had proceeded but a short while when he claimed the attention of all. During the entire course nt Vijo onoA^h hp was loerlcal. and at times eloquent. It was when he reached his peroration that the triumph was scored. When he pictured Jim Tillman as a colonel, beloved by privates and next apostrophized by his wife, mother and baby girls, there were many tears shed In the court room. Strong men cleared their throats, women were washed In tears and four jurors that I noticed wept. There was a weak feeling about the eyes of all as Rembert feelingly closed his speech. "There was a place upon a certain day when a regiment which had sworn to uphold the honor of South Carolina was on the march. The way was long, the sun was hot, and the men were very weary. The colonel rode beside his men, watching the toiling lines. He saw a soldier stagger, he rode up to him. dismounted, aided the weary soldier to his horse and taking his gun, trudged away in the dust and heat. A cheer went up which passed from rank to rank and others, weary, too, took heart and braving thirst and dust and heat, marched 011. And who was that man? "Walt, gentlemen, wait. A tent was spread beneath the setting sun. In it a dying soldier lay. No kindred hovered round the spot, but far away, per haps, a mother was sighing for her absent boy. A man stood beside him and held his dying hand. Tears were In his eyes, but a word of cheer and comfort was on his lips. He who lay there looked up into his colonel's eyes and smiled?and smiling, passed into the great beyond. The man closed the dead eyes with reverence, dashed the tears from his eyes and passed out. Who was that man? "Gentlemen of the Jury, there he sits ?James H. Tillman, colonel of the First South Carolina regiment. He was the friend of all and not too proud to know the humblest private, and not one of them ever went to him to ask for help in vain. The sword that the boys gave him still adorns his walls, and the medal they gave him is still an honored relic in his rtjom. "The boys are waiting now for you, gentlemen to vindicate their colonel. "We concede to those who are against us all the privileges of the law. We feel for him whose life has ebbed away. We feel for the brothers who are left behind to mourn. We feel for the desolate wife, whose life has been darkened forever. "When I think of his distinguished kinsman, taking the place of a father to the prisoner at the bar, I feel that I can fearlessly say to him, remembering the great services he has rendered to his native state: 'South Carolina has no cause to cast dishonor on your name!' "When I think of his aged mother, bowed down by time and trouble, to whom one touch of her beloved boy is worth more than all that wealth can give?and know that her hair Is whitening beneath the torture that her son is suffering?I feel that I can say to her: 'Your life may be nearlng its last milestone, but your troubles, too, are nearing their end. Your boy is yours to comfort you; your boy Is yours 'o guide you?to close your eyes with loviner reverence when you go out to sea.' "When I think of his wife, so noble, standing by him In this great trouble, and by her every action branding as lies the many tales of scandal that have been breathed into the public ear, I feel that I can say to her: 'Never again can a touch of scandal darken your life or his where love has shone so bright.' "When I think of his little girl? with all the long stretch of years betwixt childhood and the bloom of womanhood?and see her looking into her father's eyes, with all the love and reverence that God can give a human child, I feel that I can say to her: 'Be of good cheer; you won't lose your father, little one: he's coming home again.' "When I think of the boys, my comrades in the First regiment, some here and some far away, and know how they loved him and for what cause, I feel that I can say to them: 'Your colonel still may wield unsullied the sword that you in honor gave him.' "When I think of South Carolina that lie- has loved and served, I feel that I can say to her: 'Old state you need such sons to love and serve you still.' "And when I look on him and know how he has suffered, I feel that I can say to him, belonging the justice reflected in your eyes from the throne of God: Rejoice! Your suffering is ended. Your vindication is at hand. The morrow will witness your welcome home!" Gorrilla's Way of Fighting. "The prevailing belief that gorrillas, chimpanzees, or orang-outangs, as they are variously called, use clubs when they attack each other or their enemies is an entirely erroneous one," said the naturalist to a group of listeners. "They do nothing of the sort, and how such an impression ever came to exist, or how old-time African explorers ever came to formulate such a theory, is beyond my comprehension. During a long sojourn in that country I had ample opportunities to learn the truth about them, and what I discovered there was subsequently confirmed dur ing a protracted hunting trip in Bor- ' neo. The fact is that in fighting each other, or in attacking or defending ^ themselves from other enemies, they depend entirely upon their teeth, which are abnormally strong and sharp and cut like a razor, making a wound as tl smooth and clean as the scalpel of a qi surgeon. They are clumsy on their th feet, but the enormous strength of r> their powerful arms more than makes jo up for this deficiency. In fighting th they almost invariably attack the faces "s or the limbs of their adversaries, grasp- to ing their opponents with their hands th and drawing them close enough to sink sc their teeth in their flesh. In the case hi of human beings, or other members of "W the monkey tribe the gorrllla's favor- ar lte point of attack is the hand, and n( hi especially me linger. ^tnening mcui ? by the wrist, the creature, with al- h( most Irresistible power, draws the 01 hand within reach of his fangs, and in se the twinkling of an eye oft come one "t or more fingers. This mode of war- In fare Is a very effective one among the ct orang-outangs themselves, for, with al fingers and toes gone, the animal is or not only out of the fight, but is power- wi less to climb trees, to protect himself, fo or to provide himself with food, and ar soon succumbs to starvation, or falls m an easy victim to some other animal. It! ?Boston Budget. fir cc THE ORIGIN OF COFFEE. ra ar A Dervish Found It Growing Wild In Arabia 600 Years Ago. J As to the history of coffee, the legend 0 runs that it was first found growing wild in Arabia. Hadji Omar, a dervish, discovered It In 1285, six hundred and seventeen years ago. He was dying of hunger in the wilderness, when, finding 1 CG some small round berries, he tried to eat them, but they were bitter. He GS tried roasting them, and these he finally steeped in some water held in the nonow 01 nis nana, ana rounu me uca coction as refreshing as If he had partaken of solid food. He hurried back to Mocha, from which he had been _ Ir banished, and Inviting the wise men to ^ partake of his discovery, they were so well pleased with it that they made "j1 him a saint. be The story is told that coffee was Introduced into the West Indies In 1723, ^ by Chirac, a French physician, who ^ gave a Norman man by the name of De Clieux, a captain of the Infantry on his way to Martinique, a single plant. The sea voyage was a stormy one, the ^ vessel was driven out of her course, ev and drinking water became so scarce ^ that it was distributed in rations. De _ Ir! .Clieux with an affection for his coffee plant, divided his portion of water with it, and succeeded in bringing it to Martinique, although weak, not in a hopeless condition. There he planted ^ it in his garden, protected it with a fence of thorns and watched it daily ^ until the end of the year. De Clieux, WJ succeeded in raising a number of plants which he distributed among the people of the island to be planted by them. From Mantlnique the coffee trees in ^ turn were sent to Santo Domingo, Guadaloupe, and other neighboring islands. m ne The coffee tree is an evergreen shrub, CO growing, in its natural state, to a height of 14 to 18 feet. It is usually ^ kept trimmed, however, for sonvenience ^ in picking the berries, which grow th along the branches close to the leaves and resemble in shape and color orar dinary cherries. The tree cannot be nr\ grown above the frost line, neither can it be successfully grrown in the tropics. The most successful climate for pro- ' st ductlon Is that found at an altitude of about four thousand feet. Anything much above this is In danger of frost, which Is fatal to the tree; and, then ^ st coffee is grown much below this, it CO requires artificial shade, which materially increases the cost of production and does not produce ar marketable berries. It is owing to this particular requirement that coffee has never been successfully produced in the United States.?Success. GETTING TO SLEEP. lei Some Points About the Art of Wooing re Peaceful Slumber. gr All conditions must be favorable to cu sleep. The bedroom should be quiet. sh dark and airy. In winter it is better to ru have the window away up than to shut su it so that a knife edged draft shall chill ari an exposed shoulder. The temperature of the bed should be agreeable. Getting ot to sleep when the feet are cold is as wj slow a job as getting to sleep when ho hungry. A hot bottle in one case and ot a piece of bread and butter in the oth- go er will help things. I leave it to you pj, to decide which is for which. A warm ?a bed in winter is easily got, but a cool a bed in summer Is not so simple a prop- ^ osition. However, a sheet made of to straw matting Interposed between the pr regular sheet and the matress will be ar found to mitigate sensibly the horrors Of a hot night. It preserves the soft ~ .wvor, fU/v K^/1 on/1 auu o]u iiigiiicoa xjl tuc ucu iuiu yet is pleasantly cool, without being ^ too cool. Personally I find that sleep j)C coines soonest when I have no pillows jjC at all. j | The next thing is to relax utterly, j Remember that the corner of the jaw is the citadel of tension. While that is CQ clinched no sleep can come. But most j0( important of all is the disposition of the se mind so that sleep can come. The rea- th son why we fail in this is the same as N( the reason why we fail in other things. p( We do not very genuinely want to sueceed. As we lie stretched out after a j busy day, there are so many thoughts j( that we want to chase after that we en drop the notion of sleep, though we pj, know that tomorrow is another day on ?0 which we can think. It is all very well to say "Dismiss these thoughts." How su to dismiss them is the problem that wl each must solve.?Harvey Sutherland ^h ln Everybody's Magazine. ot. tiT According to the experts it takes w] ten pounds of milk to make a pound of cheese and twenty-three pounds of a milk to make a pound of butter. th WIT AND HUMOR OF THE IRISH. uperficial Stupidity Accounts For ' Pat's Quaint Sayings. Perhaps there Is no humor quite like j lat, of the Irish. It is spontaneous | aaint, droll, dry, crisp, cutting, and < lere is nearly always a gleam of mer- < ' white teeth in it, for the Irishman ] kes better when he is light-hearted ] lan when he has a twitching of the ] lardonicus risus." His stories are set i a Horatlan smile, and seldom does < le JUVenailSllC (.CI. journalism;; owl come over the expression of s wit to make the satire grim, "hen Juvenal does oust Horace from ) Irishman's countenance it is usually ) longer a question of wit and humor, it of inquests. There Is one quality, >wever, that Irish wit Is seldom withit, and that is a certain flighty lnconquence of ideas from which the Irish lull" was bred. And what makes this consequence of thought the more tarming Is the fact that one does not ways know whether It Is unconscious Intentional. Perhaps the reader ould like to decide which from the Mowing cynical view of life given by 1 Irish farmer to his son: "You see, y boy, a man's life naturally divides aelf into three distinct periods. The -st is that In which he Is plannln' and inthrlvln' all sorts of villainy and scality: that is the period of youth j id Innocence. The second is that in < hich he is puttin' into practice the 1 llainy and rascality he conthrived be- i re; that is the prime of life, or the ( iwer of manhood. The third and last i >riod is that in which he is makln' i s soul and preparin' for another i orld: that is the period of dotage." 1 nd- again, the cynicism almost sue- 1 eds In achieving unconsciousness in i e fnllnwlner closine remark of an Irish 1 say on courtship and marriage: "But vers do have their quarrels someTies; and begorra, when they do, you most think they hated one another ce man and wife." It is possible that the well-known lsh Inconsequence of thought is very ten responsible for the humor of any handmade bulls. It is quite posble for a wag to produce any num r of the most laughable sayings of . is kind, and no doubt many of the ills that failed to frighten Miss Maria Igeworth were made consciously lough by the Irish in pursuance of a i mmon form of humor. For instance, though some of Boyle Roche's famous ills may have been unintentional, J en his well-known mixed metaphor, 1 is too much to suppose that every I Ishman who makes a bull nowadays i ies it by mere inconsequence. It i ust have taken that Australian mem- 1 r of parliament a long time to pre- t ire the following: "Ye have shaved t I the wool off the goose that lays the I ilden eggs until ye have pumped it J y," and in the preparation of it he I is only adopting a recognized form * Irish humor for the expression of I s ideas. 1 Nevertheless, It is true that a kind s superficial stupidity, even in the J ucated Irish, goes far to account for I uch of their quaint humor. An apt- t ss of speech and a versatility of idea, c mbined with this superficial stupldi- f , may lead their possessor into all c nds of laughable forms of speech, c >r instance, the Irishman swore J at there was "as honest a heart beat- 1 g beneath an Irish tunic as under i ty Scottish kilt" had a ready gift of c mparison, but was too stupid to no- i :e whither it was leading him. In- c ances of this grotesque and laughable i upidity are numerous enough, and so c all-known that it is necessary to cull i em from the byways of Hlbernlana 2 order to interest. It was a strong s rain of Irish blood in an American c uncil that made itself responsible for > e following absurd resolutions: ? (1) Resolved by this council that we ( illd a new Jail. < (2) Resolved that the new Jail be lilt out of the materials of the old f II. T (3) Resolved that the old Jail be used ? itil the new jail is finished. * hjquany aDSura are ine remari^a ui i arned Irishmen. A certain Dr. Bar- t tt of Trinity college, Dublin, was a 1 eat offender in this way. At a dis- c ission of the college board as to what c ould be done with a huge heap of i bbish In the college park, someone I ggested that a hole should be dug t id the rubbish buried. Barrett took t > this idea and stuck to it. "But," the s hers remonstrated, "what shall we do t Ith the stuff that comes out of the s ?le?" "Well," said Barrett, "dig an- u her hole and bury it." There is c methlng more than mere absurd studity in the following- story of this me Barrett. One cold, snowy night, r man, who lived about five miles from t e college, sent his son a young boy, 1 the doctor's for a book that he had 0 omised to lend him. When the boy a rived he knocked at the door, and the (j ictor came out to him. There was no * rht in his library, and when he learn- ? what the boy wanted, he went in the r irk. and presently returned with a I iok in his hand. "Now," he said, "go | ime to your father and tell him that a believe this is the book he wants, for r think I can put my hand on almost r ery book in my library; but if it isn't ? me back, and I'll light a candle and ? ak for it." An Irish jury, when pos- \ ssed of the subtle Irish stupidity, is ? e most refreshing thing in the court, f at long ago a libel case was heard in g ascommon in which the libel was that ( e plaintiff had been accused of steal- * g a goose. When the jury had con- g Jered their verdict the foreman sol- t inly announced, "We find for the 1?U .Inmn^AO +Vl?k nplno nf Q ^ cUIlllll, Willi uaiuagcii, nit fin vi >. j iose: which Is a verdict almost as ^ btle as that of a jury In Australia, t lere Irishmen are common enough, to I e effect that the prisoner was "more g less guilty." " A large percentage of Irish Jokes, 1 len they are analyzed, depend upon ? speaker's ignorance or disregard of r e proper meaning of a word, or upon g the foolhardiness of using a word not correctly understood. As an instance of this trait of the Irish character there Is the following story of a witness. He was asked by counsel: "Now, my good man, is not all this you have been saying merely an hypothesis?" "Well," said the witness, "if your honor says 30, I suppose it was." "Come now," persisted counsel, "on your oath, do you know what an hypothesis is?" "Well, [ think I do; it's some part of the inside of a pig, but I'm not exactly sure what part it is." He was probably thinking of the asophagus, but none but an Irishman would have been so blind to its incompatibility with the matter in hand. The haunting thought :omes in again here as in the consideration of all Irish humor. Was the man really as incongruous a fool as he. seemed? To assist in solving, or still Further complicating, this question two Interesting anecdotes might be. set lown here on the plea that if they do not help the reader to the solution of this subtle question they will at least irouse his suspicion. Judge Burton, a very old and Infirm stipendiary, was engaged in trying a mse, when an equally old and infirm witness came into court to give witness. By mistake he took the passage eadlng to the bench, whereupon counsel cried: "Come back, sir. Where are ^ou going? Do you think you're a fudge?" "Indeed, sir," said the aged >ne, glancing toward Judge Burton, "I Fear I am fit for little else." The other -uns in the following way, and seems :o hint that when you puzzle an Irishnan he can be as puzzling as you are. Sheridan Le Fanu once asked an Irishnan, what was the English of "Carrlg:uohll." "I never heard any English or Irish name upon it, only 'Carrigtuohil' ilone," was the reply. "I know,said Le Fanu, "It has no other name; but I want to know the meaning of the name." "Well, now, your honor," he -eplled; "I never heard any meaning For It, only 'Carrigtuohil' alone." '1 enow 'carrig' means a dock," persisted r^e Fanu; "but what does tuobll' nean?" "Well, now, your honor, it's vhat I can't tell you why it's called Carrigtuohil,' unless It's because Mr. Uoppinger lives below there' In Barry's ?ourt."?London Globe. THE LIFE OF BIG GUN8. Six-Inch Pieces Have Been Fired Two Thousand Times. The life of a gun Is a matter of conecture, for In the United States at east no high-powered gun has ever >een tested to endurance, says Lieut. Vndrew Cleave In World's Work. Some years ago it was published freey that Krupp guaranteed his heavy runs for only seventy-five rounds, but his probably meant the limit before it jecame necessary to rellne the bore. year or so ago a 12-inch shell exploded in one of the Kearsarge's guns vhile at target practice In the gulf of dexico, gouging out the bore and mutating the rifling. This gun was made is good as new by boring out the inured parts and Inserting a new barrel, t is possible that a 12-inch gun may >e fired 300 times without serious lamage. The injury that results from irlng is mainly a mechanical erosion :aused by the rapid rush of the powler gases around the base of the proectile. It is possible that some chemcal change also takes place, but if so t is not important The English conlite which is a smokeless nltroglycerne powder, causes serious erosion >wing to the great heat it involves, but t has the advantage of being 40 per :ent lighter than our powder. Sixnch guns have been fired upward of 1,000 times without injury. This ihows a great difference between the >ld and the new guns. Dahlgreen guns vere pierced with two vents, and to ;ach one were allowed 500 pounds, 1, 100 rounds being considered the life >f the gun. The secret of shooting true Is to runners what the philosopher's stone ,vas to the alchemists, and naval pow;rs today are making every effort to lolve the mystery. When it is remen*>ered that a 12-inch gun costs $40,000; hat the expense per round of firing t is nearly $750, and that the erosion :aused by each round lessens the life >f the gun by a large percentage, from i financial consideration alone the importance of hitting a target is very jreat. It is still more important when he striking effect of the shot is contidered. Shots that don't hit don't :ount, but a shot from a 12-inch gun itriking on the side armor of a ship at l distance of 3,000 yards will do incalulable damage. A Shrewd Chinaman.?Chinese as a ace are .not generally credited with he possession of humor, but Quong Part, a celebrated Chinese merchant if Sydney, New South Wales, who died ecently, was famous in the land or nis idoption for his amusing sayings and loings. Once at a big public meeting, vhen the mayor of Sydney had conluded a vigorous appeal for funds, iuong convulsed the assembly by anlouncing in his high, chanting, broken Snglish: "Money will make the mare go!" Quong Tart was much given 0 punning, and in his early days when isked why he did not marry would re?ly: "I have not yet enough Jam on ny tart." When the $500 poll tax on Chinese was imposed by the New South Wales government, Quong*s penhant for practical joking found full ent. On one occasion, when the vesel on which he was taking a trip to he north of the colony put in at its Irst port of call, Quong dressed himelf to play the part of a stowaway Chinaman. With patches of mud in lis clothes and his hat punched into 1 shocking shape, he affected to try to teal past the collector of customs, but hat official promptly captured him. Me on'y wan' go shore," wailed the nnocent captive. "One man he go ihore; two, dree man he gt>shore. W'y ne no go shore?" "No, no, John," was he stern reply, "you pay a hundred >ounds first!" An altercation of several minutes ensued, plentifully betrewed with "me no savees" from John." Then, suddenly, with a few ightning touches transforming his peronal appearance, and presenting his ard to the astonished official, Quong evealed himself and received a cordial reeting. _ _