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||umovouj5 Department. FIVE MINI TKS FOR MATRIMONY. I had to wait at the depot after the other passengers had scattered, in order to see the agent, and when our business had been concluded I noticed a young colored woman hanging about. She seemed to want information, and I mentioned the matter to the colored porter, lie walked up to her and brusquely demanded : "Now, den, what yo' reckon yo' want to find out ?" "Gwine to find out 'bout Abner Jones," i she replied: "Did vo' 'spect him to meet vo' yere?" "Yes." "An' den vo' was gwine to git married to him ?" "Yes." "Shoo ! Waal, Aimer Jones ne won i uun | be around yere to-day. He married my i sister last week, an' de happy couple hev gone to Opelika fur de honeymoon. Was yo' all ready to marry him?" "Yes." "Cum right down fur dat purpose, eh?" "Yes." "Shoo! Jest wait a rainit. Say, yo' Jim out dar!" Jim was a young colored man who was unloading cotton from a dray on the platform. lie came up to where we stood, and the porter said : "Jim, dis yere pusson cum down to marry Abner Jones, but Abner lie dun got married to my sister. If she wants a husband, den she orter hev one. I'm gwiue to leave yo' alone wid her jest five minutes." We walked down to the end of the platform and back, and Jim and the woman came out of the waiting room hand in hand. "All dun settled ?" asked the porter. "Yes," replied the pair in chorus. "Den go uptown and git hitched by de j preacher, and may de Lawd have mercy 011 yo'r souls!" "It was pretty sudden, wasn't it?" I queried of the porter as we watched the happy pair going up the street. "Shoo! What's de use in fussin' around 'bout gittin' married?" he replied. "I'/.e bin dar 'bout seben times myself, and de [ werry worst one of de lot was a woman dat purteuded to be shy and kept me waitin' 40 minits befo' she said yep!"?M. Quad. NO FIN IN IT. My neighbor, Mr. Pomeroy, is exceedingly fond of practical joking, and the other night, just before his wife retired, he hid himself in the closet in her room. When she came to , bed he uttered several deep groans iu order! to scare her, whereupon she began to scream, J and fled from the room to call for help. Then Pomeroy thought he would come out and undeceive her, but to his dismay he found that the spring catch upon the outside had caught and fastened him in. Then he began to call for assistance, but the noise he made only convinced Mrs. Pomeroy more strongly that there was a burglar in the closet. When Pomeroy's brother-in-law heard ofj the matter, he loaded his revolver and call- j ed his dog and went into the room. Then j lie began to fire into the closet, while Pome- 1 rnv in nn mronv of terror, shrank back in one ! ?/ J ?O - 7 corner, and endeavored to make himself understood. When five shots had been fired, Pomeroy's brother-in-law concluded to let the dog finish the burglar, so he opened the door gelitly, and the animal went in as if he were ' hungry. When they thought the dog certainly had \ him, they opened the door wide, and Pome- i roy's brother-in-law was just about to knock the burglar on the head with the butt end of the pistol, when lie saw who the victim was. They hauled off the dog, and as they lifted i Pomeroy out, his brother-in-law began to j say to him : "Why, Aleck is it you ? I thought?" "Oh, never mind what you thought!" replied Aleck, indignantly. "Never mind what you thought. You've put two bullet holes through my calf, and your dog has bit- j ten three or more mouthfuls out of my other j leg, so's I'll be lame for life. If I had the > strength, I'd kill you on the spot; but as soon as I get about again, to jail you go for | assault and battery, or my name's not Alex- j ander Pomeroy, now you mind me !" Then they put him to bed and bandged ! him, and he is not about yet. It is thought; by his family that his sense of humor is a | great deal less than it was.?New York Gazette. Well Prepared.?A ministers wife, who is not so seriously minded at all times as her husband is, tells some laughable stories re- i hating to marriage ceremonies which he j performed while they were living in a new- j ly settled district in the backwoods of! Canada. The minister always felt.it to be bis duty ; to give each young couple a little serious | advice before he performed the marriage j ceremony, and for this purpose he usually | took them aside, one at a time, and talked very soberly to each of them regarding the great importance of the step they were to take, and the new responsibilities they were ; to assume. One day he talked in his most earnest j . manner for several minutes to a young j woman who had come to be married. "And now," he said, in closing, "I hope you fully realize the extreme importance of the step you are taking, and that you are prepare'd lbr it." "Prepared?" she said, innocently ; "well, if I ain't prepared, I don't know who is. I've got four common quilts and two nice ones, and four brand-new feather beds, ten sheets and twelve pairs of pillow slips, four linen table cloths, a dozen spoons, and a 1 . i_ ..i_ T.- i 1 I goou six-quail- Kcuie. 11 i am i j>h jnhi-w, i no girl in this county ever was!'' It Was thk Cat.?Two trainps, one from ! (ireeti Kiin and the other from the land of, sauer-krout and beer, one tiigbt, excessively j hungry, struck a farmhouse, the owner of which would give them a lodging, but no food. Soto bed they went siipperless. About twelve o'clock Hans got up, and went soltlv down to the pantry. Having, eaten a hearty meal, he returned, being coin- i polled to pass through the farmer's bedcham-; l?er. When he got back, Pat questioned him as to how he bad passed Cerberus. "An' did ye not wake him up?" he asked. Ya," answered Hans; "but I yoost slant slit ill, und say, 'Miaow, miaow." "Begorra, but you aught to be an (Irishman," said I'at. "I'll do the same nicsclf." And, rising, he went slowly and cautiously down. But he was no more successful than Hans. As he entered the farmer's room, he stumbled over a shoe, kicked a chair, and awoke the farmer, who cried angrily: "Who's there?" "Oh. lay sthill," said I'at, "Oi'ni the eat." ? Detroit flee Press. tiSdF Teacher (pointing to caricature of himself on the blackboard)?Hollerbaek, you are the best of my pupils. Say, who drew that horrid face on the blackboard? Scholar?! Please, sir, my sense of honor forbids my acting the part of informer unless you assure the perpetrator immunity from punishment. "Ah, well, for your sake we will let it pass. Now, who was it ?" "I did it myself." I M ista K l-:x 11>kntity.? Mrs. Fangle : Why didn't you ring the dinner bell, Bridget? Bridget?I couldn't lind any, ma'am. Mrs. Fangle?Why, it's on the diningroom sideboard. Bridget?Och! An' is it thot one it is? An' yersilf tould me last uoight as thot was' the breakfns' bell! A mail was waiting his turn to lie scrveil in a I>iil?lin fishmonger's while a little weazened old gentleman priced every lisli in the shop. "How much is this?and this?j and this?and this?" he asked. At last the exasperated sliopwoman exclaimed : "Ah, j goon out of that wid ye! It isn't fish ye want, hut information!" Bkif" A webfoot woman who started to jump into the Columbia river to drown herself, suddenly remembered that she had left the! cat in the pantry, and hurried back home. | She afterward said, "the idea of my struggling in the water and thinking that the cat was licking the cream off my milk in that minute was more than I could bear." fisrjy*' "Remember, witness," sharply exclaimed the attorney for the defense, "you are on oath!" "There ain't no danger of my for-J gettin' it." replied the witness, sullenly. "I'm tellin' the truth fur nuthin". when I could have made four dollars by lyin' fur vour side of the ease, and you know it."?j *'?' >'? ?? A I l?\ A l??p. | \ Waptlc ?atlteviufls. / | Bkjy" Steel rails average ISO tons to the mile : iron, 145. 8toT The best reputations arc usually owned by poor men. KaT W'c learn something from everything, j even from failure. g&T What is the best drawing lesson? Drawing a salary. gSaT" There are very few men who will give you something for nothing. One should play, read or labor with earnestness, and then rest. Srif" Persian ladies call a European lady's htvAiisofj *i*i fit ntto li?cr " U1U33 tin viiv gSs&* A man never gets so poor that he can't i borrow trouble without security. Few men get their life labor accomplished without some sore heartaches. 8The more promise there is in you, the more you will disappoint your friends. BttT" The only way to win a victory is to go to war, and run the risk of being whipped. fiIt sometimes happens that the man who knows himself, does not know much. The things that please most successfully are those that deceive most thoroughly. EST The empress of Austria smokes from thirty to forty Turkish and Russian cigarettes a day. &2T The general opinion seems to be that j economy should begin at somebody else's home. Sewing-circles are sometimes gatherings where dresses are sewed and characters ripped. fiw?" There is one thing a woman can never j do?she cau't make a man tell her where he j has been. B5T The marriage ceremony in Borneo con-, sists in knocking the heads of the couple to-! gether. fiST" Two of the worst things in the world: To see a young hoy smoke, and to hear an old man swear. BSaT" More is accomplished by doing each day's work faithfully than by crowding two j days' work into one. BfeiT Dean Swift said : It is useless to attempt to argue a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into." 6??" Why is it easier to be a clergyman than a physician? Because it is easier to preach than to practice. eST All the generous deeds men have ever done without hope of reward could he enumerated in one volume. BST The first ingredient in conversation isj truth, the next good sense, the third good 4 Vinmnr mid till' fourth wit. " > 6STA good man or woman will always teach that labor is honorable, and that it is I the sure road to success. ?aT Mr. Stanley states that between 1777 | and 1807, 3,000,000 African slaves were sold ; in the West Indies alone. 8ST "Overcome evil with good," as the j gentleman said when he knocked down a | burglar with the family Bible. fifST Photographers claim that they can take a picture of a rifle ball traveling at a speed of 3,000 feet per second. flS?" Some men address people in the way a farmer calls his pigs to corn, and then wonder that they are not popular. It is more natural for a man to lie in bed in the morning and wish he was rich, than it is to get up and earn a dollar. 8S?" Dimes are little opportunities?the man who rejects them waiting for the big opportunity of a dollar, never becomes rich. 8fe?T There is otic thing about the devil that ought to frighten you in thinking of him? he never fails to collect what is due him. 8fe?T The number of people who die inside of the city limits of London every year would fill a cemetery of twenty-thrcp acres. fifesT" There are three things which ought to be considered before some things are spoken?the manner, the time, and the place. ftaT It takes a lifetime of experience to teach us that we are our best friend ; that we are our own worst enemy we never learn. The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will and the other from a strong won't. S3F It very often happens that the black sheep of the family is the one called upon to furnish wool to keep the rest of the family warm. W&f The word hairbreadth, now used for; an infinitesimal space, was once a regular measure. Jt was the width of sixteen hairs laid side by side. 8??f" A young stockbroker having married a stout old widow, with ?500,000 pounds, said that it wasn't so much her face that attracted him as the figure. The Sierra Nevada Range of California is nearly five hundred miles long, seventy miles wide, and from seven thousand to nearly fifteen thousand feet high. Among the Kondeh people, who live , on Lake Nyassa, in Africa, the favorite form j of suicide is to enter the water and allow ; one's self to be devoured by a crocodile. "What is the use of a wooden coffin?" : said an Irishman to his friend. "Sure, it! will decay very soon. Bedad, I'll have an iron one, and it will last me all my life." IfeS"" People who would blush to be caught1 with their hands in their neighbors'* pockets, think it nothing to their discredit to be caughtwith their noses in their neighbors'*! a I lairs. HSfiT The bravest are not always the tenderest, as the poet sings. There is the red game | rooster, for instance: he will fight a bird j double his size, hut he cuts up tough in a pot pie. CriST Some people are like the child that : plants a bean and digs it up every day to see 1 if it has sprouted. So few people can wait patiently for results, although that is the best way. &!>'* Until men learn to use a little of the wisdom in their own affairs that they devote to the management of the affairs of their neighbors, the world will continue to hear of failures. ffinT' The most common error of men and women is to look for happiness outside of useful work. It has never been found when thus sought, and never will he while the; earth revolves and the sun shines. Bj-iy Assuming the working age to he from twenty to sixty years, and counting only male workers, four hundred and forty persons in this country live on the labor of every one hundred workers. "Charlie," said (Jenevieve, "I can nev- i er take you for a huh. You are a wheel. You tire me. I shall have to get another felloe." "That's all right," replied Charlie,' "hut you ought to have spoke sooner." CKtY" The umbrella magnolia of Ceylon bears leaves that are so large that a single one may sometimes serve as a shelter for 1 "> or 20 persons. One of these leaves carried to England as a specimen was nearly :5(! feet in width. firfC When he visited tin- cemetery, Mike Donovan noticed on a tombstone the following inscription : "Sacred to the memory of a lawyer and an honest man." "By the powers," said Mike, "that's a strange custom to bury two men in one grave ! U-rtT" In water in which decaying vegetables have been infused the microscope discovers little animals so minute that 10,000 of them would not exceed the hulk of a grain of mustard. Yet these creatures are supplied with organs as complicated as those of a whale. fisvy "How's flat Sambo? You says you was at the battle of Bull Kun, when I sees you at New York on de same night ?" "Yes, Julius, you did for sarten. You see, our colonel says he, 'Boys, strike for yer country and yer homes!" Well, some struck for der country, but dis chile he struck for home. Dat splains de matter, you see." tnHF The term "namby-pamby," which has * #/* .i iimivoii vwill'it incr Limit- hi i?v t?|.,v .. .. j, character, as well as to weak literary productions, was originated hv the poet Pope, lie applied it to some puerile verses that had been written by an obscure poet?one Ambrose Phillips?address to the children of a peer. The first half of the term is meant as a baby way of pronouncing Atnby, a pet nickname for Ambrose, and the second half is simply a jingling word to lit it. l!hif" The weight of different kinds of wood is exceedingly variable. White pine is the lightest of the common woods, a cubic foot of it weighing df pouads; willow wood weighs red pine d7, yel!..w pine dS, and pitch pine -Id. Poplar weighs -lb and hickory Logwood weighs 57. mahogany (lb, live oak (17. and lignum vitae, the heaviest of all, weighs Sd pounds to the cubic, foot. A block of lignum vitae, thrown into the J water will sink like a stone. SfttisccUancoits ?ca(lin?|.! J Tiik Strain of Wintkr.?People rare-1 ly feel the strain of winter until the cold weather is nearly over. Whether it is that the system becomes enfeebled through the enforced confinement in a closer atmosphere, | or whether latent germs develop under such favorable conditions, it is hard to determine ; but certain it is that the "Idesof March" are always dreaded by the house-mother as a I period of possible sickness in the family. An ounce of prevention, therefore, just at J this time, is strongly recommended to be j distributed among the various members of the household. Children who have been studying hard all winter should he carefully watched, and if they seem fatigued, should have their tasks lightened; young girls who have been leading a more or less artificial life during the season should be made to keep early hours, take regular ex :? i . ?i.? s>. vrcisu, aim i-ai nuiu imiiii^ iuuu , uiu uusinc^ men should take "a week off," if possible, and obtain utter rest for mind and body. And, in taking care for others, the mother herself should not be forgotten, or self-forgetful, but should follow herself the rules she lays down for others. Being Pleasant.?It will surprise many persons to learn that being pleasant is merely a matter of habit. It must be cultivated like every good habit. It has its root in nn unselfish desire for the happiness of others, not excluding one's own family. It will require a great effort at first to check the hasty words, to forego the profitless argument, to withhold the impertinent criticism, to speak the truth in love, but it is an elfort that is well repaid by the results. Rudeness is nevcy* justifiable. It is sometimes necessary to reprove, to warn, to remonstrate, even to speak gravely and plainly of faults that should be corrected. All this can be done without encroaching in any way upon the courtesy that is due from one human being to another. Well bred persons are never rude ; the chivalrous man, the refined woman hesitate to hurt the feelings of any one with whom they arc thrown in contact. They treat them with the respect which they exact for themselves. There is no surer sign of a flippant, ill-regulated narrow mind than a disregard for the rights of others. "Be courteous," is a divine command as binding as "Be pitiful." Wiiat is Beaitty ??A young gentleman, describing a young girl to some of his friends, said that she was beautiful. They naturally \ expected to see some radiant creature with which they would be instantly charmed. This, however, was not the case, for they found the girl extremely plain, and a laugh , was indulged in at the young man's expense. I But in a very short time his friends found they had laughed too soon. The young lady was one of a large pleasure party which went off for a week's outing, and when the party returned there was not a one among them who did not think her beautiful. It was she who had responded more quickly to requests of her elders, rendering sweet service in a charming way which can better he understood by the delighted recipient than by any pen picture, however vivid. It was she who run with gentle helpfulness to the j rescue of every troubled child ; she who had given up her seat to an older or more wearied person with a tact not always shown even by kindly disposed persons. In fact she had unostentatiously done the countless loving little acts which stamp the doer as a follower of the "One altogether lovely." An Unpopular Court.?In Mississippi there used to be a county where it was almost impossible to hold court, on account of the lawless backwoods element. Judge Clark once went there to hold court. The first day he had a bucket of water poured over him from a chimney hole in the roof, and several pistol shots were fired in the court room. The next day, as he opened court, he laid two large pistols on the desk, and at the first sign of disturbance levelled the pistol at the man and conducted him to jail. After that there was no more disturbance, and the better element of the community were anxious that he should return the next term ; but he declined with a sentence that has passed into a political proverb in Mississippi: "I regarded my coming into the county as an adventure ; I regard my leaving it as an escape." BEvery public school in this country should be opened by singing : Praise God, from whom all blessings llow; Praise Ilini, all creatures here below ; Praise Him above, ye heavenly host; Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. So should every teachers' institute and convention. And if the teachers would discuss this at their meetings and agree to do it, a mighty step in advance would be taken. It would ally the school with the church ; they : are natural allies. Nor is there anyone tool)-' ject. Let every preacher begin his day's work with these noble lines; they will ring on like the sound of bells in the minds of, his pupils when he has turned to dust.? j School Journal. Stir An English journal tells a good story | at the expense of the Earl of Derby. While ! walking on land belonging to the earl, a col-! lier chanced to meet the owner. His lordship inquired if the collier knew he was j walking on his land. "Thy land? Well, j I've got 110 land mysel'," was the reply, and I'm like to walk 011 somebody's. Wheer (lid tha' get it fro'?" "Oh," explained his| lordship, "I got it from my ancestors." "An'j wheel* did tha' get it fro' ?" (pieried the col-! lier. "They got it from their ancestors," was the reply. ''And wheel* did they get it fro'?" j "They fought for it." "Well, bedad," said the collier, squaring up to the noble earl, i ' I'll feight thee for it !" Biaf The Ksquimaux of the Arctic practice an ingenious method of slaughtering wolves,! planting a stake in the ice with a blade of | Mint fastened to the upper end. About the I Hint blade they wrap a piece of blubber, which ; freezes hard. Presently along comes some wolves that lick at the blubber, until the edges of the Hint cut their tongues. Tasting their own blood, they become franctie and attack each other, the light continuing until j the whole pack lies dead. Next day the artful hunter comes along and skins them. That is one reason why wolf skin rugs are so cheap today. -C flteT'Tlie secret codes used by tlie I'ldtcd I States state department are the most carefully guarded ol all the nation's secrets. One of them is called the "sphinx"?it is so guarded. This was devised by a New Yorker now in the state department, and is as susceptible to changes as the combination j lock of a safe. Hundreds of messages have been sent by it, and it has never leaked. The Hawaiian correspondence with Willis, was carried on entirely in this cipher, and it is never employed except 011 urgent oe- j casions. > HfcB" Fire Island w ill soon boast of the most powerful light for the guidance of mariners in the world. At present there is a Hash] light on the island ; this is now to give way I to an electric light of 240,000,000 candle power. The new light will Hash every live seconds. It is estimated that these flashes! will be diseernablc at a distance of twentylive miles. Its reflection thrown on the heavens, will be seen with ease by vessels one ! hundred miles away. In the voyage from, across the water to New York, Fire Island 1 is the first land sighted. A SritsTiTt tk for C'offkk.?Those per-' ........ U'li.i Ittwl it i ,1, lincui I *1 f. In llt'illL* ,',lll'l>|i ! >> I I V.' J1IIV4 II I l i i | rv?7?7l I/IV l\/ ? ? \ VI X V J | j on account of its eUect on the digestion or | nerves, may lind the following substitute ac- { : ccptahlc. Take three quarts best bran, one j quart corn meal, three tiiblesjioonfuls of rno; lasses; mix and brown in the oven like ordii nary coffee. For every cup of coilee rcquir- j . ed use one heaping lablespoonful of tiic cara' mel. Four boiling water over it and steep, I not boil, for fifteen or twenty minutes. ? ?- ? - - Half There is a limit to the life of a boiler as to everything else. From tests made of boiler plates, taken from boilers which have been in use for several years, it has been shown that the moterial has not only lost in tensile strength, but also in ductility. For instance, a plate that stood a test of 44,(UK) i pounds when new, stood only after some years of service. I Inn '? nclr inf Iimvv I i>11 i11vi 11 I he even. Wf ?'*" V ??. ? !< ? J * j ; in^r!" exclaimed .Miss (Jniekstep, angrily pulling oil" her "loves, with tears of niortili- ; cation in her eyes. * I*i 1 never fjo to a re-1 I eeption with Mr. l'ednnele again, mamma. Never! His handshake is six months he- j | hind the fashion." I (The ftoi'i! ifllrv. MR. MARTIN'S COUSIN. "I suppose," said Mrs. Martin, mischievously, "that you will be falling in love with Cousin Clarissa at first sight." She was handing Percy Carr his tea as she spoke, and smiling at him approvingly. "I would find it easy to fall in love with any relative of yours, Mrs. Martin." "Ah, listen to his flattery !" she said, appealing to the others gathered around her low, sparkling tea-tahle that particular winter afternoon. "It is very evident he is meditating an entreaty for another cup of tea. But, seriously, she is not my cousin at all? hut my husband's. I have never seen her." (t A ...1 AT?. \Tni>iin ic iiumiv inch nnii' icn't fl.il.I i.li. 1.1... I .-"-J , -w.. . he? Poking among those dreary Pittsburg mines, as usual I dare say," said Mrs. Horton Miles. "Yes, poor darling," assented Mrs. Martin. She knew that it was from those particularly gloomy places that her wealth came, and that her husband should make occasional visits of supervision to them was to he properly deplored. "Is she young?" questioned Mrs. Thurston. She was a charming widow whose beauty somehow suggested that of a full-bloom rose. Her carriage gown of velvet cloth was trimmed with gold passementerie and fur. She rather dreaded the advent of any newcomer who might attract the languid attention of Percy Carr. "I really know little about her. You see, I never contemplated the possibility of her remembering or recognizing our existence by a visit. I think she is young. I believe she is pretty. I have the impression she is cultured. I know she is wealthy." "That final statement will cover a multitude of sins," murmured Ralph Sommcrs. "How long must we pine for a glimpse of her face ?" "Her note said she would arrive Wednesday morning. You may all come up to dinner Wednesday evening and be presented." Wednesday dawned, steel-skyed, gusty, stingingly cold. Mrs. Martin, peeping out between her velvet curtains, drew back with a little shiver. "I wish," she said to herself, in reference to Mr. Martin's cousin, "that she had mentioned over what road and at what hour she I would arrive, and I'd have the carriage to meet her." I Rut the day blustered on to noon, to afternoon, towards evening, and still Clarissa Martin did not put in an appearance. From feeling absolute vexation, Mrs. Martin began to regard the situation with amusement. ' A_ ?.211 :r "How disappointed my guesis wm uc u she fails to materialize! I shall tell them it is truly a version of 'Hamlet,' with Hamlet left out." At 5 o'clock the curtains were drawn in the beautiful, imposing home of Philip Martin. Within electric lights shone with white brilliance, and grates of burnished metal held beds of rubbies. In the long amber drawing room the guests assembled. Six tinkled out from a hidden clock. The chief article of Mrs. Martin's social creed was that dinner should not be kept waiting. So, after privately giving directions to the footman and housekeeper, she apologized for the absence of the expected guest, and led the way to the dining-room. But hardly was the soup tureen uncovered in the dining-room, when the tinkle of a bell in the kitchen announced an arrival. The footman opened the door to a tall, stout young woman with very red cheeks and snapping black eyes. She wore a plaid dress, a plush coat, a hat with two green parrots confronting each other antagonistically, and a voluminous veil of red gauze. "Is this Mrs. P. Martin's house?" On being assured that it was, she turned her head and shrilled down the steps to the hackmau : "All right. Bring up that there trunk." "That there trunk" having been duly brought up, the hackman paid, and the housekeeper summoned, the new comer was informed of the message of her hostess. "If you please, miss, Mrs. Martin says, as she is having a few friends to dinner, she will be pleased if you dress and come down, if you do not feel too much fatigued." "Mercv, no! I ain't tired. I'll be ready in a jiffy." The trunk was carried to the luxurious room prepared for Mr. Martin's cousin, and from its depth's the visitor quickly drew her most festal attire. "There !" she exclaimed, as she regarded her completed toilet in the mirror, "toney as as they be, judging from the house, I guess this'll feteli them !" She was not mistaken. She created a sensation when she entered the dining-room. Mrs. Martin and her guests looked up as the door opened, to behold a buxom woman of thirty-two or three, clad in a gown of blue, bright, sleazy silk, elaborately trimmed with silk of a variety knowu as "blonde." Mrs. Martin, in one swift glance, took in the latest guest, from her frizzled hair to her red hands and clumsy shoes. She felt a little faint as she rose to meet her. She held out her slender linger. "You did not mention the train, or I should have sent the carriage," she apologized. "Oh, law! that didn't matter!" declared the other, irivimr her an explosive kiss. "This ain't such a big town but it was easy to find my way. I just told a hackman to drive me to P. Martin's, and here I am !" There she was, indeed, and very much of her. Acutely conscious of the demure laughter in Percy Carr's dark eyes, Mrs. Martin heroically made known her husband's cousin to her guests. Miss Martin insisted on going around the table to shake hands with each one. "And now," decided the frank young person, "I'll eat some dinner. I didn't have but two bought sandwiches oil the train, and seemed like they was all sandwich and no ham." If, while the meal progressed, her manner was not all that might have been expected of Mr. Martin's cousin, her appreciation of the viands was evidence in word and deed. It was a relief to Mrs. Martin when they all rose and went into the drawing-room. Hut here fresh agonies awaited her; for the visitor, on being requested by Prank Somtiters to sing, promptly seated herself at the piano, and, to a mighty pedal accompaniment, poured her soul into the rollicking strains of "Sunday Night When the Parlor's Full." "Oh, thank you," said Maud Hamilton, I never heard that song before." There was a ghastly silence. "Oh, that's nothing," averred Miss Martin. "I know lots as good. We have an organ at our house, and me and the young man I kep' conip'ny with last winter used to sing all the time 'most. I'll sing you his favorite now!" And she twittered as she swung around to the keyboard. Mrs. Martin had grown white under the strain. She could not endure this much longer?not even for Philip's sake. Hut even as she cast desperately around Ibr some possible means of release, the puttiers were thrust wide. "Miss Clarissa Martin !" announced the footman. Into the room came a slender, elegant figure, richly and sedately gowned in dark cloth and fur. A small, dainty bonnet rested on a head of softly-waved, golden hair. A hand, looking as if carved out of marble, was gracefully extended. "The train was delayed," she explained. "Von are Cousin Philip's wife, I know." Mrs. Martin held the slim figures as the drowning hold straws. "Who," she asked of the lingers at the piano, "arc you ?" "I'm Miss Jennie Sophronia Martin, from Hire's Hollow." A soft ripple of mirth ran around the room. "May I ask, Miss Jennie Sophronia Martin," said Mrs. Martin, coldly, "to what I am indebted for the?the embarrassment of your visit?" mm. i i r. l I III". UIIIIIM-I irum mit-n uuuiiii v/jniiiM her eyes and mouth in amazement. "Ain't you Mrs. Peter Martin, wife to the boss drayman, that's my father's second cousin "Decidedly not," her hostess assured her. An explanation followed. "I never seen Peter's wife," Jennie Sophronia assured them, "hut when Peter was down to Hire's Hollow, this fall Iniyin' hop?, he made ma promise to let me come visit his folks. And I s'posed the haekman was atakin' me there." In her sense of immense relief, Mrs. Martin became positively kind. She ordered the coupe and had her mistaken guest driven to her correct destination. And the .1 i 1.: 1.. ?r ouirrs lau^niu^iy irmuunuuu luu n uwiv <ufair for the benefit of lovely, high-bred Clarissa Martin. And the evening turned out beautifully alter all except perhaps for Mrs. Thurston, who beheld her worst fears verified. "Your prophecy lias been fulfilled," declared I'eivy t'arr, as he shook hands with his hostess. "She is entrancing. I have fallen in love at first sight." She arched her pretty eyebrows. "With Jennie Sophronia, of Hire's Hollow?" she asked quizzically. "No; with you husband's cousin. Oh, you needn't laugh nor look incredulous. I'm tremendously in earnest." -*> fiSay A candidate was being examined by four professors. Heeling extremely nervous, his memory failed him several times. At last one of the professors growing impatient, thundered out, "Why, you cannot quote a single passage of Scripture correctly!" ''Yes, I can !" exclaimed the candidate. "I iiiaf. lifinnnn to remember a nassaei* in Revo JMWV ** x r?- ~ lation : 'And I lifted up my eyes and beheld four great beasts.'" fo&Zil \Bakin0'^ _ ^^Powderj Absolutely A cream of tartar baking powder. Highest of all in leavening strength.?Latest I'uitcd States Government Food Report. Royal Baking Powder Co., j! 106 Wall Street, N. Y. ' FIRST NATIONAL BANK, Hock Ilill, S. O. J , ( Capital, $75,000 ' Snrplns aiid Profits. 28,499 Additional LiaMlity of Mboliers, 75.000 UIa^I In Tlntinnilnnn (MHO JAfl " TIM rrULCULlUU IU UCjJlMUI!), 0)1/0,4331 ' ; I W. L. RODDKY, President. W. J. KODDKV, Vice President. J. II. MILLKIt Cashier. II. LEK KKIUt Teller. TIIIS HANK odors its services to the public generally and solicits accounts from Farmers, Merchants, Corporations and Private Individuals. We shall be glad to furnish our terms upon , application. INTKRKST BKARIXO t'KRTIFKJATF.S OF DEPOSIT ISSUED. March 21 12 lim CAUTION.?If a dealer oflera W. I>. Douglas Shoes at a reduced price, or says ho has them without namo stamped on bottom, put him down as a fraud. I W.L. Douglas CO OUAC BEST IN OO OrlUL THE WORLD. W. L. DOUGLAS Shoes are stylish, easy fitting, and give better satisfaction at the prices ad. vertiscd than any other make. Try one pair and be convinced. The stamping of w. L. Douglas' name and price on the bottom, which guarantees their value, saves thousands of dollars annually to those who wear them. Dealers who push the sale of W. L. Douglas Shoes gain customers, which helps to increase the sales on their full line of goods. They can afford to sell at a less profit, and we believe you can save money bv buying all your footwear of the dealer advertised below. Catalogue free upon application. Address, W. L. DOUGLAS, Brockton, Mubb. Sold by J. J. SMITH, Clover, S. C. C. W. FREW, Rock Hill, S. C. January 10 2 211 II MCI 1ST It ATI! i N XOTI t II. Oflleo ofSupervisor of Registration of York County, Yorkvii.i.k, S. l'., March 12, 1S04. NOTICE is hereby given that the books of registration wili remain open in my ollicc, as the law directs, IN Til 11 col'KT 11<>1 SE AT YORKVILLE, on the FIRST MONDAY in each month, commencing on the FIRST .MONDAY OF JANTARY, IH!M. and contimiing until the FIRST MONDAY IN Jl'LY, IKD4, inclusive. Thisisfnrthepurpo.se of registering all persons who have become of an age uualilying them to vote, or who may be entitled from other legal causes, since the last election, to register ; to transfer voters so desiring from York to another county, or from one residence to another. Voters desiring to avail themsclvesof any of the above privileges, must make application before, or on the FIRST MONDAY, 2ND DAY OF .11 LY, 1S!M. CLAY HILL ami TIlo.M I'SON'S MILL precincts have been discontinued hy act of the legislature, and in their stead :i voting precinct has heen estahlishedat FOREST II ILL. Electors alleelcd hy the change are required to surrender their registration eerlilicates in order that they may he made to conform with the law. Those who fail tohavetheireertilicates changed, will not he entitled to vote. A change of certificate will also he necessary to enable electors to vote at the new precinct of SUA HON. Th" location ot'TI HZA11 precinct having heen cliang-1 ed from the Church to the railroad station, persons who have heen voting elsewhere, ami liml j it more convenient to vote at Tirzah, can have their eerlilicates changed accordingly. I. It. CORDON, Supervisor of Registration, York County. March H f>2 27w Day | After Day, Week after week, year after year, you plod a beaten path, from your home to your work and back again. No hope for the future, nothing aheact but work, work, work, and a still darker prospect for your family should you die. A 20-year Tontine Policy in the Equitable Life will give you something to live for; a bright star to look ahead to; an end to toil when you I are 110 longer able to follow the beaten path of drudgery ; an j assurance that your wife and children will be provided for at your death. Isn't it worth cusidering? For facts and i.0ures address I W. J. RODDEY, flanager, Department of the Carolinas, ROCK HILL, S. C. [ - _ . j I ?hc Hovluille Ujnquiixv.j PUBLISHED WEEKLY. TKUMW OF >-Jl' I I?rriON : Single ropy lor oik? year, S 't OO ' One ropy lor two years, ;t .10 For six months, tool For three months, .10 I, Two eopies Tor one year, II 5(1 j Ten copies one year, 17 50 j Ami an extra eopv lor a elul> of ten. A OVKKTISFM IfX'TS Inserted at One Dollar j?er square for the fust | insertion, and Fifty Cents per square for each < subsequent insertion. A square consists of the j space occupied by eight lines of this size type. ! ,Mr Contracts for advertising space tor three, I six, or twelve months will he made on reasonable terms. The contracts must in all e;ises lie [ eon lined to the regular business of the lirm or individual contracting. Parties who makequar- i terly, semi-annual or annual contracts for a giv - en space, and afterward order the discontinuance : of the advertisement or a reduction of the space contracted for, will lie required to pay at the rate ! usually charged for the less space or shorter time ! as the case may he. An increase of space or time will he a matter for special contract. The j advertiser will he at liberty to change the 'matter | at will, provided the copy for the change is in . the otiico not later than I- in. on Monday preceding the day of publication. "For Years," Says i.AKRfR E. Stock wei.i., of Chesterflelil, N. II.. "I was a 111 ic ted with an extremely severe pain in the lower part of the chest. The feeling was as If a ton f weight was laid of my hand. During the attacks, the perspiration would stand in drops on 1 my face, and it was agony for me to make snfllcient cllorteven to whis. suddenly, at any hour of the day or night, lasting from thirty minutes to half a day, leaving as suddenly; hut, for several days after. I was quite prostrated and sore. Sometimes the attacks were almost daily, then less frequent. Aftrr about four years of this suffering, I was taken down with bilious typhoid fever, and when I began to recover, I had the worst attack of my old trouble I over experienced. At the first of the fever, my mother gave me Aycr's Pills, my doctor recommending them as being better than anything he could prepare. I continued taking these i m Pills, and so great was the benefit derived that during nearly thirty years I have had but one attack of my former trouble, which yielded readily to the same remedy." AVER'S PILLS ! Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer&Co., Lowell, Mass, Every Dose Effective K TIII'l STATU OF SOUTH CAROLINA. York County. a 1T7IIKRKAS W. lHloWX WYI.li:. r. r. ('. T T Pleas, lias applied to mc tor Letters of Id ministration, on all and singular, the goods itid chattels, rights and credits of S. N. and iUSAX J. TRUE, late of the county aforesaid, Icecaxed: Tlicxoaro, therefore, to cite and admonish all md singular the kindred and creditors of the aid deceased, to he and appear before inc, at our ] icxt Probate Court for the said county, to lie "1 lolden at York Court House, on the 27>th day J if APRIL, 1NM4, at 10 o'clock a. m., to shew h wise, if any, why the said Administration, ihould not he granted. i a iiven under my J land and Seal, this 17th day of j March, in the year of our Lord one tlion-j sand eight hundred and ninety-four, and in j the llSth year of American Independence. \V. II. McCORKLK, \r Probate Judge of York County. March 21 12 lit ' THE ENQUIF IMPROVE] m Shipped On Approval and Satisfactory after a Test Will he Take ? THE ENQUIRER has sent out a lai in view of the fact that the busine an arrangement for the manufacture furnish them to all who wish to buy a f a machine is usually sold by peddlers ai A FEW FACT! The accompanying engraving's give , machine on the market. Any kind of are case-hardened steel, and are fitted so as fine adjustment and best mechanical perfect in every respect. The balance enameled and ornamented, giving it a r Winder. It also has a self-setting nee tension, sewing from Xos. 40 to 100 tin Each machine is in perfect workii complete set of tools and all necessary at How to iwvi I Ik The price of the Machine is $12:$. Wo delivei Mountains. TIIK KNtR'IKKK will he sent free hy Kxpress, Money order, Registered Letter or Nc W Allll A XT EI) R)ll i'liine, except needles and hohhins, goes with even nVK.NTY days, if not satisfactory. Is that fair? NO VARIATION.?;:.: lion at onr oiliee. M e know you will lie pleased w <end it hack within TWJINTY LAYS and get yo for Bnfants and Children. " C'iistoria isso well adapted toclilldren that Castoria cures Colic, Constipation, I recommend it as superior tonny prescripti >:i Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, Enictation, j known to 1:10." II. A. Aiwiiek, M. I>., . Kills Worms, gives sleep, an<l promotes di111 Mo. Oxford Mt., lirooklyn, N. Y. gestion, Without injurious medication, "The u-o of'Castoria i; so universal and "For several years I have recommended i s merit; so wcii known that it seems a work your 'Castoria,' and shall always continue to '* ? * : * if l'.,,.. nm il., Urt nil if line invnrinlilv nrivlfieed lM'neficial futiiilic, \v!i?? ! > not keepCxstoria results." easy re::i h." Edwin F. Pardee, M. D? j ( ai.'.jis Mautvn, I>. I)., 125th Struct and 7th Ave., New York City. New York City. Tin: C'entacr Company, 77 Mpbray Street, New York Citt. GARRY IRON ROOFING COMPANY, Manufactures nil kinds of ?? IRON ORE PAINT I RON HOOl-'l N(i, Ancl Cement. UIMI'EII ANDc ouiM fi.vTKDsiDiNf;. 152 TO 158 M ERW1N ST., Iron Tile or Shingle, C'lcvcltuid, O. iitk I'ltnoK iiooits, sni rrKKs. ,tc.. I rrr=?-???g j|-^ Seiul for Circular ?' and Price List No. 75. THE LARGEST MANUFACTURERS OK IRON ROOFING IN THE WORLD. j pif Orders received by L. M. OH 1ST. I NDI.KTAKINO. PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY. rpiIOHOUOIILY fitted up with new back JL grounds, accessories, Ac., and with a line ^ , A '. . . . ? ? . . . / sky-light, I am prepared to take a picture in any style of tlic art, as well executed as can be done ('HILI)REN'S PICTURES A SPECIALTY. r AM handling a first class line of COFFINS By the dry plate process I can take them itiL AND CASK KTS which I will sell at the very stantly; makes no dill'erence about fair or cloudy west prices. Personal attention at all hours. weather. 1 -"-i i.i.\.I do nil mv own nrintin? and finishing, atitl 1 <iiii | M I') 'ill t:i I iw ii'i'iiu mi uiiMin wi k iiiiiiuiiv - ? ? y t reasonable prices. there is very littJe delay in delivery. Jnmum-I J^KI) JKHTKHYS. ENLARGED WORK. ........ Pictures copied and enlarged and finished in I>\\ 1.1,1.IM; HOlrSKS l?OK ItKXl. the highest style to he had, and prices reasonable. r\V<> SMAI.I. I>\VKI.F,IX<r IIOI'SKS Poll (live me a call and see specimens of work, at UK.N'T. Apply to K. M. <JRIST. mv Gallery on West Liberty street, near the jail. March 21 12 tf ' J. R. SCHORB. 1ER SEWING MACHINE. [), IIIGII ABM, PERFECTED. Guaranteed to Give Entire Satisfaction, and if Not l of TWENTY DAYS in Your Home the Machine n Hack and Your Money Refunded. ^ - . ? |jj' jjljj !j|j I I I a |||!-: .3^ II1J ill! ''' ' p / V V -o'C uuinber of the best grades of Sewing Machines in the past five years, and ss has grown to such proportions as to warrant it, we have recently perfected of THK ENQUIRER SEWING MACHINE, and we are now prepared to '....* ^1,. ... ATn^liiiirt 1 <WLa flion 1,n1f flir* iirinn of cn/->li II.SL JJIUUL* *?1?.IC11 i llV. tiL it.no cumi iitwi uiv. tit >>iiiv.ii r?HV.ll ul dealers. 3 ABOUT THE ENQUIRER MACHINE. a correct idea of the machine and its parts. It is as near perfection as any work can be done 011 it that any other machine will do. All wearing parts 1 accurately that these machines are as absolutely noiseless and easy running skill are possible to produce. Xo expense or time is spared to make them -wheel and many of the fine parts are nickel plated, with other parts finely icli appearance. The machine is fitted with the Improved Automatic Bobbin die and self-threading cylinder shuttle. The simplicity of the automatic ead without altering, recommends it to not only every beginner, but to am.. ng order when shipped, and is accompanied with printed instructions and a ** tachmcuts in a handsome plush lined case. The attachments are the best. c Machine? Important Information. it :it your nearest railroad station free of freight eharjres, provided you live oast of the Kooky for 0110 year to every puroliaser of a inaohine. The eash must aeoompanv the order. Semi iiionev \v York Kxehaiitfe. r- w A * ** /"M 'I'lwi iieii.il la* UIIIMII ,,.,4 H.i.d.i-.A * 11 m | m | mmm V """ " n | u.u i- ,111 > unnu M' Ilitll <ir 1*' 1 I JiVLlU, any part thai breaks or wears out through the fault of tne mu ; Machine. Alter the Machine has heen received, you have tire' privilege of returning it within have endeavored to say here all that we could say in a letter. There can lie no change of terms, not ask for any variation. Machines are shipped direct from the factory, and are not on exhibiith the machine when you get it. and von know it it should happen to he unsatisfactory, you can A,l,"VSS LEWIS M. GRIST, Yorkville, S. C.