University of South Carolina Libraries
Humorous Department.! A Ransom Horse.?"Senator Ransom is j not as complacent as his mobile countenance I would indicate," said a distinguished North Carolina politician, as he rolled the end of a perfecto around in his mouth, while sunning his Appollo-Belvidere in front of the Shoreham yesterday. "The old man is writing more letters every night now," he went on to say, "than he ever did before in his life. The political signs iu North Carolina do not augur success for him next year. There are several good men already in the field. He wants to come back, for he could not DUt on the stvle in North Carolina that he does in Washington. Creased trousers, | biled shirts, two-story collars and boutonniers are not as popular at home as home-1 spun jeans and horny hands. Ransom has an aversion for writing letters. He has doue nothing for the boys in the way of securing Federal patronage. And, my, can't he strut! He is the only man I ever saw who could strut standing still." Vance tells a good story on him. He was canvassing among his constituents in Webster county years ago. He called at the gate of Mr. Jones. Was he at home? Yes, and at the stable. So to th6 stable the governor went, where he found Jones currying a horse. "That's a fine looking animal, Jones. Can he run?" "Nope. Never heard of his being a runner." "What is he ; a Harabeletonian?" "Nope. No fine blood in him 'at I knows of." "I suppose he's a good buggy horse; a trotter, maybe?" "Nope. He ain't worth a durn at trotting, nor runnin', nor pacin', nor nuthin'." "Well," said the governor, "you seem to be taking splendid care of him. What for ?" V "See here, Vance," said Jones, "that horse is named Matt Ransom, and I'm er just keepin' him for style."?Washington News. A Parable.?Some years ago a number of gentlemen visited the mountains of Colorado for the purpose of fishing. Among the party was a bishop of the Eastern diocese of; the Episcopal church. Fishing was the sole | occupation and amusement of the vistors; so ] 1 when Sunday came, as there was nothing else j to do, the laymen got out their rods, pre-1, paratory to castiug a line. But they were | in a quandary as to the bishop. They did j not want to hurt his feelings by leaving him behind, nor did they want to offend his re- j ligious principles by inviting him to go fishing 1 on Sunday. Finally one of them plucked up courage and told him of their dilemma, ; whereupon the good man said that he would tell them of a happening in his earlier life ] which he thought rather apropos. "Some years ago," he said, "when I had charge of the affairs of a parish, I was awak- j ened about two o'clock one morning, and upon inquiring who was there, heard a man's voice reply that he was there with Miss 1 Blank, and that they wanted to get married. 1 I reasoned with him about the untimely hour, but to no avail; he meant to get married ' right then and there. So I put on my clothes 1 and gown, and went down stairs and began the marriage service. Everything went I along as dictated in the service till I asked s the man, 'Wilt thou take this woman to be thy wedded w'fe?" to which he. replied, . 'What'm here fur?"' , They waited for the bishop. Very Careful.?The carefulness of some j colored people not to say anything directly against the oharacter of their neighbors, was f illustrated by the old story of a man who ( wouldn't say that Sambo stole chickens, but if he was a chicken, and Sambo was about, . he would "roost high." Here is another story to the same effect: A gentleman stopped at a cabin where an old negro womau lived, and while waiting 1 for one of the children to get a bucket of 1 fresh water, entered into conversation with her concerning the crop prospects. i "I did hav' fo' or five hogs," said the old i woman, "but da's dwindled down till I ain't got but one now." j "Somebody steal them ?" f "I neber talks 'bout my neighbors, an' I < I doan like ter say what became ob de hogs. I neber makes mischief I doesn't." ( "Did the hogs die ?" j "The mister died ; but yer ain't gwine ter j git me to say notbin' agin my neighbors. ^ UKA/1 nt\ /1o?* rlao/1 tmiu tinrl Ue lllUU ? IIUI IIUCU up uai m uvuu uvf., ?>.v. | I ain't gwine ter say nothin' agin him. De hogs disappeared away from heah while dat man was libin'; but I ain't agwiue ter say ' nuthin' agin him." "Do you think he took them." "Mister, dat inau's dead, and I doan wanter ( say nuthin' agin him; but lemme tell yer, ' while dat man was libin' he was a powerful | stumblin'-block ter hogs." Just the Opposite.?An Irishman who * was employed in the iron works in a West- j ern town was advised by his physician to;1 seek some employment where the labor was ;' less severe, on account of an enlargement of * the heart. He proceeded, therefore, to set1 up a small grocery, which was well patron-;' ized by his friends. He was not in the habit i of diminishing his prospects of financial sue- i cess by giving "down weight", and one after-j noon when a customer asked for a pound of j sugar, he added pinch by pinch until the ! j scale barely turned. j i "Pat," inquired the customer, looking up innocently at his careful weigher, "Phwat j was it the dofther said was ailin' ye?" j ] "Inlaargemcnt av the haart," answered j | Pat, with pride. j ] "Well, thin," said the customer,' "it's toime ye werechangin' yerdocther, Pat; the ( wan that's tindin' ye now don't understand j( yer disease, me b'y. Yer haart is get tin' smaller moighty fast, an' it's in great danger ye are!" The Last Straw.?"Are you the man , that answers correspondents' questions?" < "I am." "If you've got just a minute to , spare," said the earnest-looking citizen in the shiny Prince Albert coat, sinking into a chair and leaning his elbows confidentially on the table, "I'd like to have you tell me in a few words what the Scriptures really ' teach as to the proper mode of baptism and the leading arguments that are adduced by the commentators in support of the various theories they?" It was at this point that the long-suffering answers-to-queries man lifted up his voice and swore, for the first and only time in a long and useful life.?St.' Louis Itepubiie. S@*In a Washington county town, says i the Lewiston, Me., Journal, a little while ago, the local champion liar was brought up before the justice for stealing hens. 'Twasj a orettv plain case, and, by the advice of his lawyers, the prisoner said, "I plead guilty." This surprising answer, in place of. the string of lies expected, staggered the justice. He rubbed his head. "I guess? I'm afraid?well, Hiram," said he, after a thoughtful pause, "I guess I'll have to have, more evidence before I sentence you." A Revised Version.?It happened in Sunday-school. The subject under discussion was Solomon and his wisdom. A little girl was asked to tell the story of Solomon j and women who disputed the possession of a child. She timidly rose up and answered : "Solomon was a very wise man., One day two women went to him quarreling about a baby. One woman said, 'This is my | child,'and the other woman said, 4No, this i is my child.' Rut Solomon spoke up and said, 'Xo, no, ladies, do not quarrel. (live me my sword, and I will make twins of him,! so each of you can have one!' " Ci rriNc the Knot.?"We had to write about George Washington to-day," said a schoolboy to his mother. "I hope you didn't forget to tell about the cherry tree ?" "Oh, no. I said he sawed it down." " 'Sawed it down !' He chopped it down with his hatchet." "Yes, I know; but I couldn't spell hatch-' et." ? Prudence is one of the virtues that naturally go with age, but sometimes it is developed early. "Tommy," said a thought-1 F t .? .1? ii! U'MI:...., ....... I..,. mi inoiuer, "vuur v ncic >? iiu.hu m.i^ here to dinner today, and you must wash ? your face." "Yes, ma," said the thrifty j Thomas; "but 'sposeir lie don't come. What then ?M 8^" Krrand Boy (to jeweler)?What shall j I say if any one brings in a watch to be repaired while you are out to lunch? Jeweler (winking)--I'retend to examine it carefully, and then tell him it needs cleaning and a j new mainspring. I tftewsitle (Snthmugs. W&" Indians can see one-tenth further than whites. 66T Every man makes a good husband for a while. 82?" Never spend your money before you j have it. 8@T The Bible has an-annual circulation of ten million. 8?* Prior to 1S2"> all women's shoes were without heels. HOT There are 3(59,(5:14 teachers in the United States. 8?* St. Peter's Church iu Rome will contain 54,000 persons. ! S&" Egyptian children are never washed till they are a year old. 8S?" Many consider as truth what is merely error sanctified by age. 80?" The "right hand of fellowship" is the hand that often robs you. ti&T Every one hates the man who always thinks he is being robbed. 86T Overwarm friendships, like hot potatoes, are quickly dropped. #6?" The great Sunday-school army of the world numbers 22,508,661. Every mistake a man makes gives some other man a weapon. S&?? No man accepts good advice until it becomes his own experience. VST The Roman Cat holics have $12,000,000 worth of property in Washington. J56T In twenty years Canada has had but one hundred and sixteen divorces. 8?" Two persons who have lied to each other never become sincere friends. SOT We always watch a man who groans a great deal about the sius of others. SOT Life insurance is more popular in' America than in any other country. 8QT Neighbor was once only a nighboor, or j the boor or farmer who lived nearest. S6T* Women are not cruel to auraD animais. No woman will willfully step on a mouse. 86?" At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; at forty, the judgment. 8?"* A bitter jest, when it comes too near the truth, will leave a sharp sting behind it. 86?" He is unreasonable who quarrels with events which happen from natural necessity. 86?" We are not in a condition to enjoy riches until we can be happy without them. 86?" Men who live beyond their means find that their means never catch up with them. 8?* You caunot repent too soon, because you do not know how soon it will be too late. 86?" There are few who can help a needy person without afterward telling somebody. 86?" It is never safe to boast of the friendship of a man until after you have buried him. 86?" Men show their character in nothing more surely than in what they think laughlble. 8?* One pound of cork is amply sufficient :o support a man of ordinary size in the ivater. 86?" New York city has fifty-two Presby;eriun churches with a combined membership of 40,000. 86?" It is a good rule to never do a thing hat it would give you pleasure to accuse pour enemy of doing. 8?* Nothing suits a cross man more than :o find a button off his coat when his wife las not time to sew it on. 8?* It don't pay to spend your time getting ;ven. Life is too full of unpleasant thiugs o deliberately add to them. 8?* The man who can keep a secret may >e wise, but he is not half as wise as the man ,vho don't have any secrets to keep. 86?" A philosopher is a man who can feel is easy over his own troubles as he does over lis neighbor's. There arc no philosphers. 86?" In order that we may succeed in life it j lot only requires a purpose, will, and one- i less of aim, but an invincible determination. 8?* Business men iu New York, who etniloy some 20,000 boys, have determined to ijive preference to boys who do not smoke ngarettes. 8?* The exportation of vegetables from ' California, in 1893, exceeded 110,000,000 pounds, or 55,000 tons, or 5,500 carloads of en tons each 86?" Iu the northwestern part of Colorado here is a region several hundred square miles in extent, which is a vast deposit of petrified fish. 86?" What looks more disgusting than a tenpear-old boy smoking cigarettes, or more jomforting to see a very old man taking his ' pleasure with a pipe? 86?" The man who will complain that a ;wenty-minutes sermon is too long, will sit lalf a day watching a couple of ehess-playit-c molrinir (u-n innvPS. A Southern hotel advertises among its \ Attractions "A parlor for ladies thirty feet i wide." This is probably to accommodate! :he big sleeves now in fashion. In Kentucky there is only one woman I who has authority to officiate at a wedding in a clerical capacity. Her name is Munns, j iind she is a licensed Baptist preacher. B3T It is so much easier to raise your hand it a revival meeting, to signify that you are i Christian, than it is to lift the same hand to do a good deed after the meeting is over. 1ST I ..ife has two surprises. In youth one ; is surprised that he knows so much. When lie has reached matured life he is surprised that there are so many things that he doesn't' know. 8ST Pet dogs across the Atlantic are now dyed to harmonize with the prevailing tint of their mistresses' boudoir. Two shades of violet form the most popular coloring for white dogs. gfctT In some of the ancient temples of; Egypt perfectly sound timber of the tama- j risk wood has been found connected with the stone work-which is known to be four thou-j sand years old. 8^" A new party, to be called the "Poor ' Men's Party," is being organized at Shelby ville, III. It is proposed to elect no man to a local oflice who lias possessions valued at more than $1,500. flefir The Pennsylvania Railroad company, I on its various locomotives that run between Jersey City and Pittsburg, burns over 12.000 tons a day. The cost of the coal each day | is about $40,000. H3F Muggins?"Some people are never sat-; isfied to know that certain things are so, but j are continually wanting to know the why ! and wherefore of it." Hugging?"Yes, I wonder why it is?" 8&? No man who does not know his own 1 faults can ever be a sensible or a successful | man. No man who loafs, and believes that he is working hard, can ever be a sensible or a successful man. BSaT" A woman in Oakland, Cal., sued for divorce, shot her husband during the trial in a fit of jealous rage, then nursed him back to health, fell in love with him again, and is now living with him. , fifiT The Dictator Francia, of Paraguay, I once made a law that all men and boys! should wear a hat of some kind, if only a | brim, so that they might show respect to su-1 periors by taking it off. fisaT Some Chinese coins are but one-twentieth the vulue of an American cent. In one notable collection there are more than 150,000 varieties of cash, the oldest of which j ^ ' ?- .. . r. oono i> p (lilies duck as iur as wuu i>. v. ?aS" The register of a country hotel in Maine ! one day recently contained names of Mon-1 golians, Russians, Prussians, Italians, Turks, j (Jreeks, Canadian French and Germans, each written in their owner's language. ?aT1 Where the telephone wires are over- j land, the speed of transmission is at the rate; of 1G,000 iniles a second ; where the wires are through cables under the sea, the speed ! is not more than (5,020 miles a second. tfc?f Application was once made at the New i York post ollice a few days ago for mourn-1 ing stamps, and the applicant expressed great disappointment when he was told that the government did not keep any in stock. Stir Small Roy (to grocer)?If you please, J Mr. Wellby. my mother wants to know if i ?- 1........... VOU Will 151YU 111*1 till tiiuiauuv. v?> v\.v? . ing over the counter)?Hut, my little man, j your mother does not get her groceries here. "No, Mr. Wellhy, hut we borrow your j wheelbarow." ftaTA correspondent of the Charlotte; Democrat says that this is "locust year" and : that they will be up between the 15th of April and the 1st of May. They come up i to spawn and will subsist 011 air and dew ; and will remain about forty-two days. They : split the limbs of trees and deposit their eggs, i which hatch in twenty-one days. They then j return to the earth and will stay until 1907. | I She -Itoti! (Teller. TWO FRIENDS. A STORY OF THE SIEGE OF PARIS. One clear morning in January?that terri ble January during the siege, when famini was knocking at the very gates of Paris?M Morrissot, a clock-maker by trade, but ren dered an idler by force of circumstances, wai strolling slowy along the outer boulevards As with bowed head and hands thrust deej in his pockets he walked on engrossed in hi! 1 . . 1-?~ l._ .....1,1 1.. ,1 uw ii Sim iiiuiif^ius, lie suuucinj biujij/cu uc fore a man whom lie recognized as an oh: friend. It was M. Sauvage, whose acquaint ance he had made on the river bank. On each Sunday before the war Morrisso used to set out at dawn with a bamboo caw in his hand and a tin box strapped to his back. He went by the Argenteuil rail roar as far as Colombes, and then walked to the isle of Marante. Scarcely arrived at thai dreamy place he would begin to fish, ant: would stay there until nightfall. On euch Sunday he used to meet a stout jovial fellow, M. Sauvage, of the Rue Notre Dame de Loretta, who was also an enthusi astie fisherman. They often passed a hal day together, sitting side by side, their line.' in their hands and their feet dangling ovei the current, and a friendship soon sprang uj between them. On some days they would not exchange e word with one another; but they grew intc that perfect understanding which exists between persons who have similar tastes and who experience similar emotions. The two friends shook hands cordially, but both felt a tinge of sadness at meeting under such gloomy circumstances. M. Sauvage sighed and murmured : "What a condition of things!" Morrissot gloomily replied: "And what fine weather!" The two began to walk side by side and Morrissot continued : "And our fishing? How pleasant it is to think of it !" M. Suuvage demanded : "When shall we ever be able to go again?" They entered a little cafe and drank together a little absinthe and then resumed their promenade along the boulevard. Morrissot stopped suddenly : "Another glass ?" M. Sauvage assented : "At your pleasure," and they went into a cafe. When they came out M. Sauvage exclaimed : "Supposing we go ?" "Where?" "Where?" "Why, fishing to be sure." "But where ?" "To our old place. The French advance posts are near Colomhes. I know Colonel Duraoulin and I am sure he will let us pass." Morrissot trembled with anticipation. "Good," he cried. "I am with you," and they parted to get their hooks and lines. An hour later they were walking side by side along the highway, and soon reached the villa in which the colonel had established bis headquarters. He smiled at their request and good naturedly granted them a pass. By eleven o'clock they had passed the outer pickets and Colombes, and found themselves at the border of a small vineyard that sloped down to the Seine. Before them lay the apparently dead and deserted village of Argenteuil. The heights of Orgemout and Sannics dominated the landscapes, and the broad plain that extends as far as Nantcrre was a picture of desolation with its leafless trees and gray stretches of bare earth. M. Sauvage pointed toward the summit of the hills, and murmured : "The Prussians are there." "Eh ? Supposing we should meet them ?" M. Sauvage replied with that Parisian jovially which never deserted him : "We would oder them a fried fish." But still intimidated hy the ominous silence, they hesitated to venture across the field. At length M. Sauvage decided : "Come! Come!" And stooping down they crept through the vineyard, dodging from hush to hush, straining their eyes and ears to detect the slightest suspicion of pursuit. A stretch of bare ground remained to be crossed. After a long hesitation they summoned their courage, and running at full speed attained the river bank and concealed themselves among the dry reeds. Morrissot listened with his ear to the ground for sounds of pursuit, but he heard nothing, and upon this assurance of their safety they began to fish. Before them the abandoned isle of Marante shut out the view of the opposite shore. The little restaurant was closed, and appeared to have been deserted for years. M. Sauvage caught the first gudgeon, Morrissot the second, and from time to time they pulled in their lines with a fish wriggling on the hook. The sun poured its warm rays upon them, and, absorbed in their pastime which had been so long denied them, they soon became oblivious to their surroundings. Suddenly a dull sound seemed to burst from the earth. The cannonade was being resumed. Morrissot turned his head, and away to the left he perceived the great silhouette of Mount Valarien, which bore upon its brow a tuft of smoke. Soon a second jet of flame shot out from the fortress, shortly succeeded by a third intonation. Then others followed, and at regular intervals the mountain sent forth its death-dealing breath and exhaled its milky vapors, which, rising slowly in the calm atmosphere, hung like a cloud above it. M. Sauvage shrugged his shoulders. "They are begining again," he said. Morrissot, who was anxiously watching his float, was suddenly seized with the anger of a peaceful man whose calm is disturbed and grumbled : . "Isn't it stupid to kill one another?" M. Sauvage replied: "They are worse than the beasts themselves." And Morrissot who had just pulled in another fish, declared : (<Arwl tniiiinlr llint f liic 1 liincr will cnntiniip as long as there are governments." M. Sauvage stopped him. "The republic would not have declared war?" hut Morrissot interrupted him, saying : "With kings you have external wars ; with republics you have internal wars." And then they began a tranquil discussion and solution of the great political problems with the limited reason of peaceful quiet men who agree upon the one point that they will never enjoy true liberty. Meanwhile the thunder of Mount Valarieti continued incessantly, at each discharge demolishing so many French homes and lives, rudely dispelling so many happy dreams, si many anticipated pleasures, and opening in the hearts of women and mothers in this and other countries wounds which will nevei heal. "Such is life," declared M. Sauvage. "Say rather such is death," lightly replied Morrissot. "Suddenly they trembled with fear, real izing that some one marched behind them and, turning their heads, they saw four tier man soldiers covering them with their inus kets. Their lines slipped from their hands and fell into the river; and within a few mo ments they were seized, hound, thrown inti a boat and carried to the island. Behind the house which they thought deserted, they found a squad of German sol diers. A bearded giant sitting astride a chair and smoking a huge pipe with porcelain bow! asked of them, in excellent French: "Well, gentlemen, have vou had gooi luck?" By way of reply one of the soldiers dcpos ited at the officer's feet the basketful of lisl which he had taken care to bring with him The Prussian smiled. "Ah ! that's not bad. But another thin? first. Listen: "To ine you arc two spies sent to watel me. I take you, and I shall shoot you You pretend to be fishing in order to observi me the better. You have fallen into tr?y hands?so much the worse for you. Such b war. "But as you passed the advance posts yot surely have the pass word with which to re turn. Tell it to me and I will release you.' The two friends, pale and trembling, tlicii hands agitated by a slight, nervous trcmb ling, remained silent. The ollieer continued: "Xo one will ever know it. You will re turn in peace. The secret will disappeui J with you. To refuse is immediate death. I Choose.'' The two friends made no reply. The Prussian calmly said, while pointing towards the river: "Think that in five minutes you will be at the bottom of that stream. In five minutes. ' You have families?" _ i The two friends stood rigidly and made no reply. The German gave a few orders in s his own language, and then moved his chair in order not to be too near the prisoners. -: Twelve men with loaded muskets then 3' placed themselves ut a distance of twenty # j feet. ^ i ne omcor couunucu : "I will give you one minute?not a second ' more." I He arose and brusquely approached the ! two Frenchmen. Taking Morrissot hy the j arm he led him a short distance away and ! t said in a low voice: "Quick ; the pass word. Your companion j * will never know." I Morrissot made no reply. The Prussian then took Sauvage aside and ! ^ made the same proposal to him. I M. Sauvage made no reply. They again found themselves side hy side, j The officer gave a command, and the sol[ diers raised their arms. ' By chance, Morrissot's glance fell upon f the basket of fish lying on the ground a few . paces away. The shining scales of the still ! living fish sparkled in the sunlight. In ) spite of himself his eyes filled with tears and he stamered: "Good-bye, M. Sauvage." , M. Sauvage, responded : "Good-bye, M. Morrissot." I They shook hands. The officer cried : "Fire !'' The twelve reports rang out like one. M. 1 Sauvage fell like a block. Morrissot, who ' was taller, wavered, turned and fell across i his companion face upwards, a flood of blood rushing from his breast. The German gave a new order, whereupon his men marched away, but returned presently with cords and stones, which they attached to the feet of the corpses. Two soldiers took Morrissot by the head and feet and bore him to the river, and two , others followed with Sauvage. The bodies, poised for an instant, were thrown into the stream and, describing a curve as they fell, plunged feet foremost into the current. The water foamed and boiled and then became calm, while a few little waves reached j as far as the shore. The surface was; slightly stained with blood. The officer, still serene and unruffled,1 quietly remarked: "Now it is the turn of the fishes." Then, turning toward the house, he no- j ticed the basket of fish on the grass. He j picked it up, smiled and cried : ! "Wilhelrn!" A soldier, wearing a white apron, ran up at i his call, and the Prussian throwing the fish 1 to him, commanded : "Fry these for me while they are still alive, i They will be delitious." Then he resumed his pipe.?From Mau| passant, translated by Arthur A. Folsom for j Boston Budget. j What Month is Yours??An astrologij cal prediction gives the character of a girl according to the month she was born in, as ; follows: If a girl is born in January she will be a i prudent housewife, given to melancholy, good tempered, but fond of fine clothes ; if in February, and affectionate wife and ten-j der mother, and devoted to dress; if in j March, a frivilous chatterbox, somewhat1 given to quarreling, and a connoisseur in! | gowns and bonnets; if in April, inconstant, i | not very intelligent, but likely to be good- j looking and studious of fashion plates ; \ if in May, handsome, unliable, and given to style in dress; if in June, impetuous, will marry early, be frivolous, and like dressy clothes; if in July, possibly handsome, but with a sulky temper and a penchant for gay j attire; if in August, amiable and practical,1 likely to marry rich and dress strikingly ; if J in September, discreet, affable, much liked | and a fashionable dresser; if in October, pretty and eoquetish, and devoted to attractive garniture ; if in November, liberal, kind, of a mild disposition, and an admirer ofstyl! ish dress ; if in December, well-proportioned, ! fond of novelty, extravagant, and a student I of dressy effects. Origin ok Coal.?Several theories as to j the mode of the origin of coal have been put j forth from time to time. The one now gen; erally believed in is tliut the rank and luxu| riant vegetation which prevailed during the ! carboniferous uge grew and decayed upon land but slightly raised above the sea; that by slow subsidence this thick layer of vegetable matter sank below the water, and became gradually covered with sand, mud and other mineral sediments; that then, by some slight upheaval of the sea bottom or other process, a land surface was once more cover; ed with a dense mass of plants, which in j course of time decayed, sank, and became i overlaid with silt and sand as before. At 1 length thick masses of stratified matter would accumulate, producing great pressure, I ; and this, acting along with chemical changes, | would gradually mineralize the vegetable j layers into coal. Some experiments made a ; few years ago showed that of a lnrge number of plants kept immersed in water a few ! years, the ferns, lycopodiums, and pines' were those which had the greatest power of j resisting decay, and coal seems to be main-1 i ly composed of the substances of the ancient! ' representatives of these three orders of j plants. The interesting fact has also been | i proved by Prof. Huxley and others that in ; ! many instances the bituminous matter in coal is almost wholly formed of the spore J i cases and spores of plants allied to our club ' I mosses and ferns. ? t Introduck the Children.?It is a comj mot) oversight in too many households not j to introduce the children to visitors. Guests r| are formally presented to the adult members of the family, but the younger boys and girls are either ignored altogether or else introduced in n general way without giving ] their individual names. This course is al-1 i -- .1 : most certain to result in awicwaruness anu ; constraint on their part, when grown. There j i is a difference between putting forward unduly and giving them their just need 5 j of recognition. And pray take pains, in' making introductions, to speak the names distinctly, and, above all things else do not I omit their mention. How many of us have . been annoyed to have a hostess greet an intimate friend, to whom we were entire .! strangers, with some such salutation as, "() J 1 j Frank, so pleased to have you meet Miss | : Blank," leaving lis to discover his surname . as best we may. It is not so bad a plan for j the family to rehearse by themselves some of . I these little social formalities.?The Congregalionalist. i ' ?* ,| A Stumi* for a Drunk.?In 1808, when ! | Jamestown X. V., was first settled, the in- , \ i habitants hit upon a novel plan for clearing i i off the public common. The plot set apart \ I for that purpose was covered with trees,; which were gradually cut down by the set-: Icrs at odd times when not otherwise en- { gaged. But the slumps still remained, and ! I their removal was a problem that caused many discussions among the city fathers. . At last they struck a brilliant idea whereby ; their object was not only attained but the . intemperate members of the community j . I were taught a salutary lesson. It was duly j enacted that the penalty for getting drunk I ] was to dig up a large stump, but if the cul- j . [ prit was only moderately tipsy lie was as- j > I signed to a smaller one. It was not long i I before every stump disappeared, much to1 .! the credit of the originators of the scheme . i and to the discomfiture of the tipplers. + Ii Private Marks on Our Silver Coin.? I The "mint mark" on our silver coinage is so j | well known that almost any school child can 1 I tell you where the piece was coined. The I : "s" means that it is from the San Francisco j . j mint; "c. c." that it. was made at Carson : II City, and "o" that it is the work of the . I New Orleans money-makers. Besides the! ! above you will find some very small letters) r; occasionally, especially on the standard dolj lar, the Columbian coins, and the 181)3 dei sign in the quarters and half-dollar pieces. . | On the standard dollar the letter is a micro scopie "m" on the left loop of the ribbon r < which binds the wreath surrounding the 51 eagle. Another "m" of larger dimensions j may also be found on the same coin at the I i1 lower edge of the neck of "Liberty," just in ( . j the edge of the hair. These miniature letters i ' are private mards of Mason, the man who j r | made the dies. Imitation Ground Glass.?A ready way j of imitating ground glass is to dissolve Ep- j -! som suits in beer and apply it with an ordi- j rj nary paint brush. As it dries, it crystalizcs | and makes an excellent imitation of the rea article. In frosting glass, the lirst operatioi consists in cleaning it thoroughly and thei protecting the portions which are not to bi frosted with a coating of wax. Then a mix tnre, composed of linely-powdered tluorspa and concentrated sulphuric acid, of the con sistency of thin paste, is ruhhed on the ban portions with a piece of lead. To finish tin 'operation the glass is gently heated in ai iron vessel placed beneath a chimney-flue, t< 'carry oil' the noxious vapors that arise When cool, the plate is washed with a dilu ted solution of soda or potash, to remove al traces of. acid, and then rinsed in water. -?> A Cement That Beats Welihno.?j cement has recently been invented whicl bids fair to discount even electricity. Thi cement is composed of equal parts of sul phur i.nd white lead, with a proportioi of about one-sixth of borax. When tin composition is to be applied it is wet will strong sulphuric acid, and a thin layer of i is placed between two pieces of iron, whicl are at once pressed together. In five days i will be perfectly dry, all truces of tin cement having vanished, and the work hav ing all the appearances of welding, whih the parts will be so effectually joined as t< resist the blows of a sledge-hammer. Foit Your Scrap Book.?Xo century cai lioniti nn ii WimIiinednv Vviiliiv nr Snllirrtnv wv-b'" "" j , j ? j The 1st of October always falls on the sam< day of the week as the 1st of January ; th< 1st of April the same day of the week as the 1st of July ; December the same as Septem ber; February, March and November begii on the same day of the week, while May, Juue and August commence on dif ferent days. Of course, these rules do nol apply to leap year. The ordinary year al ways begins and ends on the same day of the week, while every twenty-eighth year the calendar or the year is the same.?Ex. \BakmcfBl ,^Powder) JIbsalately A cream of tartar baking powder. Highest of all in leavening strength.?Latest United States Government Food Report. Royal Baking Powder Co., 106 Wall Street, N. Y. FIRST NATIONAL BANK, Rock Hill, S. C. Capital, $75,00( Surplus anfl Profits. - - - - 28,49! Additional Liability of StocMiers. 78.091 Total Protection to Depositors. $178,49! 9 XV. L. KOI1DKV, I'roNlilent W. J. ItODDKY Vice President .J. H. MILLER, Cashier R. LEE KERR, Teller THIS HANK Oirers its services to thcnublh generally and solicits accounts from Farm ers, Merchants, Corporations and Private In dividual#. We shall be glad to furnish our terms upoi application. INTEREST REARINO CERTI FICATKS OF DEPOSIT ISSUED. March 21 12 tint Protection That Protects When a man insures his life under the old form of insurance, he is simply assured that a certain sum will be paid to his wife, children, or heirs at his death. Good enough in its way, but there is a much better way. The Tontine Instalment Policy of the Equitable Life not only insures but protects the benificiary from ( loss of the insurance as well. For further particulars, address / W. J. RODDEY, Manager, | For the Carolinas, Rock Hill, S. C. CLOY Kit IIAY FOII SALK. TONS OF FIRST CLASS CLOVK1 O IIAY. Address, J. A. LOVE, Lincolnton, N. C. March 21 12 4t CAUTION.?If a dealer offers W. L. Douglas shoes at a reduced price, or says he has them without name stamped on bottom, put him down as a fraud. W.L. Douglas CSO CUAC BEST IN 90 urlUE. THE WORLD. W. L. DOUGLAS Shoes are stylish, easy f.t. ting, and give better satisfaction at the prices advertised than any other make. Try one pair anil he convinced. The stamping of W. L. Douglas' name and price on the bottom, which guarantees their value, saves thousands of dollars annually 13 those who wear thcin. Dealers who push the sale of XV. L. Douglas Shoes gain customers, which helps to increase the sales on their full line of goods. They can afford to sell at a less nrolit, and we believe you can save money bv buying all your footwear of the dealer advertised below. Catalogue free upon application. Address, XV. L. DOUGLAS, Brockton, Muss. Sold by J. J. SMITH, Clover, S. C. C. W. FREW, Rock Hill, S. C January Id - -It THE STATU OF SOUTH CAROLINA, York County. WINCH KAN THOMAS T. DAVII>NO> lias applied to me for Letters of Admin istration, oil all and singular, the goods am chattels, rights and credits of S. II. J. ALEX AXDKR, late of the county aforesaid, deceased These are, therefore, to cite and admonish til and singular the kindred and creditors of tin said deceased, to he ami appear before me, at on next Probate Court for the said county, to in hoiden at York Court House 011 the l-'ltli day o A PHIL, 1?>4, at Id o'clock a. in., to shev cause, if any, why the said AdniiiUsiruiioi should not lie granted. (Jiveti under my Hand and Seal, this 2iHh da; of March, in the year of our Lord one thou sand eight hundred and ninety-four, and ii the 118th vearof American Independence. \V. II. McCOKKLH, Probate Judge of York County. April 4 14 tit TH14 STATU OP SOUTH C VItOM N A. York County. WIIKKKAS \V. H. hkLOACH has appliet tome for Letters of Administration, oi all and singular, the goods and chattels, right ami credits of DANIEL llAIXEY, p. c., late o the county aforesaid, deceased : These are, therefore, to cite and admonish al and singular the kindred and creditors of th said deceased, to be and appear before me, a our next Probate Court for the said county, t be lioidcn at York Court House on the 18th da; of A PHIL, 1S544, at 1(1 o'clock, a. in., to she\ cause, if any, why the said Aininistratioi should not be granted. (liven under my Hand and Seal, this'2nd day c April, in the year of our Lord one thottsam eight hundred and ninety-four, and in th imill year in .1 inn n <ui iimivmi im< in i. W. H. SleCOKKKK, Probate Judge of York County. April 4 U ~l ,ll I ' Only the Scars Remain r "Among the many testimonial:; wiiicl ( see in regard to certain medicines perform ing cures, cleansing tlie blood, etc.," wriu s llE.Mtv Hudson*, of the James Smitii e I Woolen Machinery Co., 11 Philadelphia, Pa., "none n 4||^ impress me more than my MB own case. Twenty years - i ago, at the age of 18 years, ] 1 I had swellings come on my legs, which broke ami hecanio running sores. Our family physician could v |w g do ine no good, aiu it was 11 feared that the hones K 3 w?uld be affected. At last, u Sk my good ohl mother 1 I L*J ^5 urged mo to try. Ayor's B! Ijl tf Sarsaparilla. I tool; three j jj bottles, the sores healed, t M and I have not boon jj troubled since. Only the ^ J scars remain, and the memory of tho past, to remind mo of tho good Ayer's Sarsaparilla has done me. I now 3 weigh two hundred and twenty pounds, and ) am in the best of health. I have been on the road for the past twelve years, have noticed Ayer's Sarsaparilla advertised in all parts j i of the United States, and always take pleas- " ure in telling what good it did for me." ^ For the cure of all diseases originating In Impure blood, the best remedy is AYER'S Sarsaparilla ' | Prepared by Dr. J. C.Ayer&Co., Lowell, Mass. J Cures others, will cureyou 'I If t ; THE STATE OF SOUTH CAKOMXA. York County. . WHEREAS W. DROWN WYI.IE. C.C. ('. Pleas, has applied to me for Letters of | Administration, on all and singular, the goods ! and chattels, rights and credits of S. X, and SUSAN J. TRUE, late of the county aforesaid, deceased: These are, therefore, to cite and admonish all and singular the kindred and creditors of the; said deceased, to he and appear before me, at our next Probate Court for the said county, to he "] lioldcn at York Court House, on the 'J">th day J of APRIL, Iks.}, at 10 o'clock a. in., to show h cause, if any, why the said Administration should not ho granted. in (riven under my I land and Seal, this 1 /tli day ot Mareli, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and ninety-four, and in the UMth year of American Independence. \V. II. McCOKKLK, r Probate Judge of York County. j . March 21 12 lit > THE ENQUIF IMPROVE] Shipped On Appro val'and i Satisfactory after a Test | ^ Will he Tiikp ft | ^1 j j THK ENQUIRER lias sent out a lar in T'imir i\f t1lf? frirt flint 111 <* hllsilU'! 11 an arrangement for the manufacture j i furnish them to all who wish to buy a fi i' a machine is usually sold by peddlers ai :| A FEW FACT! rj M The accompanying engravings give: 1 machine on the market. Any kind of are case-hardened steel, and arc fitted sc i as fine adjustment and best mechanical i perfect in every respect. The balance I enameled and ornamented, giving it a r . Winder. It also has a self-setting nee tension, sewing from Nos. 40 to 100 tin j! Each machine is in perfect worki 1 i complete set of tools and all necessary at ,f Ifow to Oet th< ,!| The? price of the Machine is $?tf. Wo dclive t Mountains. 'I'll 10 EXQl'IltKIt will liosont free () j by Express, Monoy Onlor, Registered hotter or Ni ;i WARRANTED FOR chine, except needles and bohhins, goes with ever; ,. TWENTY days, if not s;it is factory. Is that fair? c XO VARIATION.?II: tion at ourollice. Wo know you will l?o ploasod \\ sond it hack within TW10NTY DAYS and tfot yo for Infants and Children. ? " Castorlaisso well adapted to children that Castor ia cures Colio, Constipation, I recommend it as superiortoany prescription Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, Kructation, known to me." II. A. Archer, M. D., Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes dill 1 So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N\ Y. gestion, Without injurious medication. "Tho uso of 'Castoria is so universal and "For several years I have recommended its merits so well known that it seems a work your 'Castoria,' and shall always continue to of suisTeroKation t?> endorse it. Few are the do so as it has invariably produced beneficial intelligent families who do not keep Castoria results." within easy reach." Edwin F. Pardee, m. D., t ai::.<>h Mautyn, I). P., 125th Street and Tth Ave., New York City. New York City. Tiie Centaur Company, 77 Murray Street, New York City. ?* GABBY IRON ROOFING COMPANY, Manufactures all kinds of ?jp IKON' ORE PAINT aiMi'Ki) ANDcoaiti oATKDsiniNo, 152TO 158 MKRW1N ST., " ~ and Price List No. 75.' THE LARGEST MANUFACTURERS OF IRON ROOFING IN THE WORLD. Orders received l?y L. M. (SRIST. irvncRTiKivc. uurvrftfil? APII fiAT,T,F,RY. 1 llVl VVII 1WA.A MM. rri HO ROUGHLY fitted up with new baek?".: . r .A. grounds. accessories, Ac., and with a tine fc. . ..? ?..? >./?_? ? ? ?-*-SA? sky-light, I am prepared to take a picture in any y style of the art, as well executed as can be done ('HiIdREN'S pictures a specialty. r AM handling a first class lino of COFFIN'S Ily the drv plate process I can take them inL AXI) ('ASK KTS which I will sell at the very stantly; makes no difference about fair or cloudy m ost prices. Personal attention at all hours. weather. I am prepared to repair all kinds of Furniture I do all my own printing and finishing, and t reasonable prices. there is very little delay in delivery. January-1 J.,KD JFFFKRYS. ENLARGED WORK. ...... ...^. ...... Pictures copied and enlarged and finished in l)\\ bi,l,n(i HOl'shS I'Olt 1(1, VI. the highest style to lie had, and prices reasonable. r\V<) SMALL DWKLLINO IIOl'SKS FOR (live me a call and see specimens of work, at It JO NT. Apply to L. M. CRIST. my tiallery on West Liberty street, near the jail. March ill 12 tf ' J. R. SCHORR. 1ER SEWING MACHINE. D, HIGII ARM, PERFECTED. " i??bmmm?mmmmmmmmmm ^ Guaranteed to Give Entire Satisfaction, and if Not t of TWENTY DAYS in Your Home the Machine >n Back and Your Money Refunded. V"^~ '~ ~ ~ >V ''^-y TT. ^ if* -L m* ? I {Wwlif^ I iflB|B^H 3|Ehh \ Hffi m JKjZ ere number of the best grades of Sewing Machines in the past five years, and ss has grown to such proportions as to warrant it, we have recently perfected of THK KXOUIRKR SKWIXG MACHIXK, and we are now prepared to irst class high grade Sewing Machine at less than half the price at which such id dealers. 3 ABOUT THE ENQUIRER MACHINE. a correct idea of the machine and its parts. It is as near perfection as any work can be done on it that any other machine will do. Ail wearing parts i accuratelv that these machines are as absolutely noiseless and easy running skill are possible to produce. Xo expense or time is spared to make them -wheel and many of the fine parts are nickel plated, with other parts finely icli appearance. The machine is fitted with the Improved Automatic Bobbin die and self-threading cylinder shuttle. The simplicity of the automatic *ead without altering, recommends it to not only every beginner, but to ALL. ng order when shipped, and is accompanied with printed instructions and a ttachnients in a handsome plush lined case. The attachments are the best. * k n uu'tiinl Inlfnriiintinn. l~ iTKlV ItV -1'^'- ?""? ...r it at your nearest railroad station tree of freight charges, provided you live east of the Rooky for one year to every purchaser of a machine. The cash must accompany the order. Send money [>\v York Kxchange. 1 /\ \ ...t,h' usual warrantee hy which we replace an v defective part or JL " " 1 J jx\.L\0?"" any part that breaks or wears out through tfic fault ofthe ma- f> v Machine. After the Machine has been received, you have the privilege of returning it within have endeavored to sty here all that we could say in a letter. There can lie no change of terms, not ask for any variation. Machines are shipped direct from the factory, and are not on exhibi-i111 the machine when you get it, and you know if it should happen to be unsatisfactory, you can ur Si'iJHi. Address LEWIS M. GRIST, Yorkville, S. C.