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Humorous ?rpartmcut. DIVIDING THE COSTS. There was an assault and battery case be fore a county justice not many miles frorr Detroit the other day, and the plaintiff cams to the city and engaged an attorney of his acquaintance to represent him. Thelawyei told him he had a straight case and couldn'i help but win it, and on the day of the suii he got a horse and buggy and drove out Three or four miles from his objective poim he was stopped by a farmer who asked: '"Be you that Detroit lawyer?" "Ye?." "Well, let me give you a hint. The de fendant is Jack , and he's rather a bac man. When you come to sum up be a leeth careful what you say." The lawyer had gone another mile whet he was accosted by a man who sat by th< roadside waiting lor him: "Be you that Detroit lawyer?" "Yes." "Well, be a leetle careful what you saj about Jack in court. Jack has a bad way of gittin' even with folks." A'mile from the town he met two men one of whom asked: "Be you that lawyer from Detroit?" "Yes." 44Goin' to appear agin Jack ?, I s'pose?' "Yes." "Then be keerful what you say abou! him. He's alius loaded fur b'ar." He drove on to the office of the justice and a constable welcomed him and said: "I S'pose you'll pitch into Jack more or less. I'll lend you a revolver, and you'd better hire a man to take that rig back tc Detroit and you can go home on the cars Don't give me away, and don't neglect mj advice." When the justice came in he gave the attorney a cordial greeting, and added: 44After the trial is over you'd better staj right here in the office until a constable car ' smuggle you out into the woods. I don'l want anything to happen you." When the case opened the Detroit lawyei * surprised the crowd by advising his client to leave every thing to his Honor, and his Honor discharged the prisoner with the re mark: "Seems like a case of temporary insanitj and the costs will be divided." No Sandpaper There.?Detective Johr Webb was passing the Bates street end o the vegetable market three or four days ago, when a stranger accosted him with: "Say, I came in town the other day togii my boots 6xed, and I was looking arounc this place a little and lost a silver dollar oui of a nole in ray pocket." "But you didn't come back to look for it did you?" * "Yes I did. I think I lost it right ovei Uiere, where I dodged a wagon. Have yoi heard of any one picking up a dollar?" "No, sir." "Seen any advertisement in the papers?' "No. You'd better save your time." "Why?" i "Why, man, you aren't green enough tc I expect to get that dollar back, are you ?" "Of course I am. Wasn't it mine 5 Didn't I lose it?" "Well! Well! Some one ought to sandpaper your head!" "They had, eh ?" queried the inau, as he searched around in the street. "I lost it just about here, while I was jumping out ol the way of a wagon. If anybody tries to -rub any sandpaper on my head I'll!" He made* dive into the dirt and fished up a silver dollar, and as he held it between his thumb and finger and danced around he cried: "Here she is?this is the very one! I know it by the nick I cut on the edge. Ought to have my head sandpapered, had I? well, you just bet I know my gait, and I'm $1 ahead! It's lucky for me, though, that you didn't find it. You look just like a man who'd have chucked it into his pocket and let me go to rain! Sandpaper! How would you like to bite a file!" And the abashed detective couldn't say a word in his own defence.?Detroit Free Frees. No Wonder They Mutinied.?Omaha Girl?"And so there is a real rebellion in the Hightone Seminary." Returned Pupil?1"Yes, indeed. Thegirls just made up their minds they wouldn't stand it and left in a bunch." "What was the trouble, dear?" "Why, you know last term a cooking school was added to the departments." "Yes, I remember. You spoke very highly of it." "Yes, everything was just splendid and we did have such fun. I can't see what got into the principal, but I guess she is a little crazy!" '"Why, what did she do?" "Would you believe it, she actually insisted that this term we must eat the things we cooked." New Name for Book-Stealing.? "What was that tall neero bov put in for?'; asked a visitor, addressing an official at the penitentiary. "Plagiarism." "What! Plagiarism?" "Yes, sir." "That is indeed strange. Is such an offense punishable in this State ?" "Seems to be. That fellow was sent uf 10- for two years." "Tell me something about his crime." "Well he went into a public library and stole an armful of books." "Yes, but does that constitute plagiar ism ?" N "Of course, for is not that fellow a literary thief?"?Arkamaw Traveler. Why He Could Sell Cheap.?"Yoi say the coat is four dollars?" Four toller, mine frien." "And you warrant it all wool ?" "All vool except de puttons and puttor holes." "How the dickens can you afford to sell an all wool coat for four dollars?" Mine frien, I don't vonder you vas surbrised. Vy, de vool in dot goat vas vortli more as fourtollar, so helup me Moses!" "Then, you must lose money on it?" "Py shiraminy gracious! You make me tired! But, mine dear frien, I told you von lettle segret, und don't you gif it away. De fleeces on de back of dose sheeps vot grow dot vool vas misfits and half to be sold ats great reductions!"?Boston Record. Embarrassed young man, (who has just been presented, and who is trying hard tosay something)?"I think, Miss Belleairs, that I have had the pleasure of meeting you before." Miss Belleairs?"It is possible, but I dc not remember it." Embarrassed young man?"Was it not al Mount Desert?" Miss Belleairs?"I have never beer there." Embarrassed young man?"Neither havt I." A painful pause follows. How He Was Silenced.?At a recenl meeting in which there was much religious interest, an old man gave expression to his joy by shouting, and continued it until it began to interupt the services. Brother H said to Brother W., "Go, stop the old man's noise." He went to him and spoke a few words, and the shouting man at once be came quiet. "Brother H.," asked Brothei W., "what did you say to the old man tha quieted him so promptly?" Brother \\\ replied, "I asked him for a dollar for for eign missions." A barrister, noticing that the cour had gone to sleep, stopped short in the mid die of his speech. The sudden silence awoke the judges, and the lawyer gravely resumed "As I remarked yesterday, my lords"The puzzled judges stared at each other, as though they half believed they had beei asleep since the previous day.?iVr. Y. In dependent. A church organist in a Pennsylvanit town, all bent with age, at the wedding o an antique belle whom he knew years be fore, astonished everybody by playing f fantasia on the air, "When You and I were Young." This is about as good as a Detroii organist, who trilled, "I Am a Pirate King," as the deacon was taking up a col lection. ' ; (The Jam and Jirmde. A Suggestion.?Land that i9 rich enough - to make a bale of cotton to the acre, says i the New Orleans Picayune, in discussing the , corn and cotton problem, will produce un' der proper cultivation, with a good season, i thirty-five bushels of corn and half that p amount of clay peas, or about fifty bushels t of corn and peas. In ordinary times these t can be sold for about one dollar per bushel. Now make a comparison with cotton plant[ ing. If a man plants and cultivates all the peas and corn he can save, and plants and cultivates all the cotton he can make and save, which crop will bring the most clear money after all expenses in sending to mar ket are paid ? The corn, peas, hay, and enl riching the land by the pea crop, will cerJ tainly give these a decided advantage over cotton. There are plenty of farmers in the i West who do not make more than fifty i bushel9 of corn to the acre, and sell corn at 25 cents a bushel, equal to $12.50 an acre. A good farmer on almost any kind of land in tne South, properly fertilized with pea vines p and other home fertilizers, should make I twenty to twenty-five bushels of corn to the acre, and a pea crop besides, the whole . worth $20 to $40 per acre. Why, then, will not corn in the South pay ? Besides, homemade corn sold to non-producers in the South prevents so much money from leav' ing the country, while Western corn takes money from the South to return no more; t then corn in the West that is made into whisky is sent into the South and takes the , balance of the profit. , The Best Money Crop.?The best mon[ ey crop that the farmer can. produce upon , his farm, is the manure crop. Let us once consider manure as crop, and the one upon J which all other crops depend?let us come to see and consider that so many pounds of tobacco or so many barrels of corn per acre depends upon producing first so many loads r of manure per acre, then we will begin to . take as much interest in producing a; good l crop of manure as in growing a big crop of corn, &e. A big crop of manure on the farm is [. worth more for producing large crops of , other things, than everything else combined. Cultivation, the best seed, the most propitious seasons, are as nothing compared r to manure. The fali is the time to start out on a manure crop. Litter all the staJIs and keep them littered; mulch the fields; compost the rubbish; collect dead trees and logs, ' and burn them for ashes; gather everything ' about the farm that will resolve itself into 3 manure, and keep on in the same line all winter, for the manure crop. [ Idleness.?Never be idle. Idleness means ruin just as stagnation means decay. 1 You can catch better things than early worms by rising early in the morning? ? sometimes that will paint your cheek, quicken your pulse, brighten your eye, and r Rive you such an appetite as will make 1 breakfast a pleasure, dinner a treat, tea a delight and?no room for supper. Besides, , it's only one early bird that catches the worm. Every early boy can catch the benefit I speak of. And what the boy learns to love the man will turn to account, while his > hay will be better and more abundant, than ? the idler's, his corn, his carrots and his cucumbers will be finer, better and more abundant, too; and just when the idle man ' is thinking that he ought to have a fortune, the early one will be wrapping his up and | running off to the bank with it. The boy j; who says it's music to hear the milk-man and chimney-sweep from beneath the sheets 1 will most likely take to his bed to escape his creditors by-and-by. An Old-Time Superstition.?Farmers > are not without their superstition, and one is that "wolf teeth" affect the sight of a horse. This is an ancient belief and one ? entirely without foundation, but is so firmly believed by many that nothing will convince them of their error. The name ( is given too small, supernumerary teeth i which occur occasionally in the mouth of horses just in front of the first molar r\f nrtnSinnr fr.oth iionallu in tho nnnor lflW Vl V..V JV.M but occasionally in the lower. In colts these are often crowded out by the perma' nent teeth, but are occasionally curved inwards. To be sure they may'cause the horse considerable trouble in masticating i his food on account of biting his tongue, i but it is absurd to attribute any disease of the eye to their presence. If they interfere i with the horse's eating it is better to re; move them, but for any influence on the eye they might just as welj remain. They can easily be removed by extracting with ; forceps or by holding a wooden pin against the tooth and striking it a smart blow. Milk as an Odor Absorbent.?Those I dairymen who do not believe in the power ; of milk to rapidly absorb and become con? taminated by surrounding noxious smells will do well to try the following simple test, the results of which will, doubtless, imme. diately convince the most skeptical: Take } a wide bowl or soup plate to the cow stable when you go to milk; pour into it a pint of fresh milk, set it on the floor or at the height of a milk stool, so as to expose it fully to the air of the stable, behind and close to the , cows. If the day is close and heavy and ' the milk is cold, and the stable not cleaned out and aired, the result will be surprising. Take it to the house or anywhere away from the stable, and try to drink \t.?Scientific American. More Mutton?Fewer Wrinkles.? > We must increase the size of our stock, not by crossing with other breeds, but by judicious selectiou of larger, better constitutionI ed merinos, having fewer wrinkles, less grease and longer staple. It can be done, * and that too in a seasonable time, by selection and good keeping. Other breeders of r fine wool sheep, who have found their sales falling off since the decline in the price of wool, are taking the same view of the situi ation. They will endeavor to get the wrinkled merino pelts to unfold, smooth out and cover a larger carcass. It will not longer do to ignore the mutton value of a sheep in adi dition to what it can do in the production of fine wool.?New England Farmer. Late Seeding with Timothy.?If the . surface is in fine tilth, timothy seed may be , sown almost until time for freezing up of the ground. It will be covered sufficiently by freezing and thawing of the soil in win ter and without injury to .the seed. It is ? * U.. ^ /XM nn?t I mum uiuic uniu^ man tiuvci wi aitj mint ) of grain. But this late-sown timothy will r not be forward enough to cut next season, i With a winter grain crop this is an advantage, as in too large a growth of grass the grain is often injured. [ Seeding With Grass Alone.?Where 1 grass is the most profitable crop, as it mav be in favorable localities, the general desire 1 to get a good seeding makes other crops subordinate. This has led to sowing grass seed * without grain. It should always be done in , the fall, and the earlier the better, provided the seed is not hurried in without due preparation of the soil. But nearly as good a 1 seeding may be had with wheat where 4 phosphate is drilled in with the grain.? ' | Cultivator. j asr The exterior characteristics of a good t j heavy draught horse are a large, deep chest, i i straight shoulders, a little inclined, fleshy, i! a thick body, yet not too much belly, t straight loin, the hind quarters a little de. pressed, thick through the thighs, and long 3 periueum. The horse that has a long perinr eum, prolonged down from the anus, and . | thick and short muscles of the thighs, is r | very strong and a good draught animal. 5 i Mixture for Cleaning Grease Srots. I Equal parts of strong ammonia water, ether, and alcohol, forma valuable cleaning i compound. Pass a piece of blotting paper ^: under the grease spot, moisten a sponge, first with water, to render it "greedy," j then with the mixture, and rub the spot . with it. In a moment it is dissolved, sa* ponifled, and absorbed by the sponge and 3 blotter. 1 j jSrThe secret in mashing potatoes is I to have all. the utensils as hot as possible, and beat the mass till light instead of press: ing down smooth and solid, adding milk, i buttermilk and salt at will. a desirable f result is attained by rubbing the mashed -! potato though a hot colander and leaving i it just as it falls into the dish. ^ ? ? ? t Stale lard can be made sweet by bringj ing to a boil, with slices of cold raw potatoes - thrown in. The impurities will rise to the top and can be skimmed off. HisceUatteous leading. NATURE THE GREAT TEACHER. Rev. J. G. Wood, in his new book, "Na1 ture's Teachings," has discussed a "subject not before handled at length. Its object is to show how man's implements and me* chanical devices have been anticipated in i nature. He asserts that there is no invention of man which is not anticipated, that all his devices have been used in nature for countless centuries. He claims that the great discoverers of the future will be those who carefully studied the natural world. The burr stones of mills are a copy of molar teeth. The hoofs of a horse are made of parallel plates like a carriage spring. The finest file made by man is a rough affair when compared with the Dutch rush used by cabinetmakers. The jaws of the turtle and tortoise are natural scissors. Rodents have chisel teeth, and hippopot omi have adze teeth, which are constantly repaired as they are worn. The carpenter's plane is anticipated by the jaws of a bee. The woodpecker has a powerful little hammer. The diving bell only imitates the work of the water spider. This insect, although as easily drowned as any other, spends a great part of its life under water. Having constructed a small cell under the water, it clasps a bubble of air between its last pair of legs and dives down to the entrance of its cell, into which the bubble is put. A proportionate amount of water is thus displaced, and when all of it is expelled the Ittle animal takes up its abode in this subaqueous retreat. In laying its eggs 0:1 the water, the gnat combines them in a mass shaped somewhat like a lifeboot. It is impossible to sink it without tearing it to pieces. The iron mast of a modern ship is strenthened by deep ribs running along its interior. A porcupine quill is strengthed by similar ribs. When engineers found that hollow beams were stronger than solid ones, they only discovered a principle which had been . med in nature for centuries before the creation of man. A wheat straw, if solid, could not support a heavy head. The bones of the higher animals, if solid, would have to be a great deal heavier to bear, the weight which they have to support. The frame work of a ship resembles the skeleton of a herring, and he who would improve aerial navigation might study the skeleton of a bird with advantage. Palissy made a careful study of the shells by the seaside, in order to learn the best method of fortifying a town. 4 j The ship worm feeds on wood, and gradually tunnels its way through any submerged timber. It also lines its burrow with a hard shelly coating. Brunei, taking a hint from this, was the first to succeed in subaquatic tunneling. The Ef.ystone lighthouse is built on the plan of a tree trunk, and fastened to the rock in a manner similar to thtv n trPA ia fastened to the Soil. It is supposed that the first idea of a suspension bridge was suggested by the creepers of a tropical forest.? Wilmington Colegian. Dietetic Fallacies.?1. That there is any nutriment in beef tea made from extracts. There is none whatever. 2. That gelatin is nutritious. It will not keep a eat alive. Beef tea and gelatine, however, possess a certain reparative power, we know not what. 3. That an egg is equal to a pound of meat, and that every sick person can eat eggs. Many, especially those of nervous or bilious temperament, cannot eat them; and to such eggs are injurious. 4. That, because milk is an important article of food, it must be forced upon a patient. Food that a person cannot endure will not cure. 5. The arrowroot is nutritious. It is simply starch and water, useful as a restorative, quickly prepared. 6. That cheese is injurious in all cases. It is, a rule, contra-indicated, being usually indigestible; but it is concentrated nutriment, and a waste repairer, often craved. 7. That the cravings of a patient are whims, and should be denied. The stomach often needs, craves for, and digests, articles not laid down in any dietary. Such are, for example, fruit, pickles, jams, cake, ham or bacon, cheese, butter and milk. 8. That an inflexible diet may be marked out, which shall apply to every case. Choice of a given list of articles allowable in a given case must be decided by the opinion of the stomach. The stomach is right and theory wrong, and the judgment admits no appeal. A diet which would keep a healthy man healthy might kill a sick man ; and a diet sufficient to sustain a sick man would not keep a well man alive. Increased quantity of food, especially of liquids, does not mean increased nutriment, rather decrease, since the digestion is overtaxed and weakened. Strive to give the food in as concentraded form as possible. Consult the patient's stomach in preference to his cravings ; and if the stomach rejects a certain article, do not force it.?Journal of Reconstructive. An Earthquake Country.?In some sections of South America earthquakes are of such frequent occurrence as to excite very little emotion, except on the part of the earth itself. It is needless to remark that the inhabitants do not live in fourteen-story flats. Anything higher than a one-story flat would find itself flat on the ground after a seismic visitation. In Lima, Peru, they count on having an earthquake about once a week throughout the year. If a whole month went by without a terrestrial tremor .people would-: become alarmed. They would fear that something was going to happen. There is another advantage enjoyed by the inhabitants of an earthquake region that are unknown anywhere else?volcanoes. Beside the old-established volcanoes that have been doing business in the same place from time immemorial, there are new ones continually cropping out to instruct and amuse the young. They start up sometimes in the most unexpected places, which makes it a little inconvenient occasionally. After a man has got his farm paid for and in a good state of cultivation, he doesn't like to have a volcano come along and stake out a claim on the same property. Map making is a flourishing business there. The formation of the country changes so often that a different map is required very frequently. Last year's map is of no use at all, owing to the new volcanoes and the elevations and depressions of large tracts of territory that are continually going on. An enterprising publisher can effect a change in school books almost every winter, without being compelled to pay a share of | his profits to the teachers and trustees. So j I you see there are compensations attending i almost every place of human habitation.? j Texas Si/tings. The Passing Crowd.?Let us stand but ; for a moment on one of our busy streets and I consider what they are or may be whom we i see around us. In the hurry of the passing ' show, and of our own sensations, we see hut | a series of unknown faces ; but this is no : reason why we should regard them with in| difference. Many of these persons, if*we* i knew their histories, would rivet our admiration by the ability, worth, benevolence, or piety, which they have displayed in their ! various paths through life. Many would excite our warmest interest by their suffer- i ings?sufferings, perhaps, borne-meekly and ! well, and more for the sake of others than ' themselves. How many tales of human weal or woe, of glory and humiliation, , could be told of those beings, whom, in pass- j ing, we regard not! Unvalued as they are ; j by us, how many as good as ourselves repose upon them the affections of bounteous hearts and who would not be without them for an earthly compensation ! Every one of these persons, in all probability, retains in his bosom the cherished recollections of early , happy days, spent in scenes with friends j and fellows who, though not far removed I in distance and in fortune, are never to be given up by the heart. The Dangerous Condition of Shock, j If an individual receives a severe injury to the head (concussion of the brain), or is crushed or mangled in a railway accident, or is extensively burned or scalded the state of "shock" is brought about. The surface becomes pale and bloodless, there is sickness at the stomach, dizziness, ringing in the ears, "it gets black before the eyes," the breathing becomes hurried and sighing, the pulse quick and feeble, and if this goes on to greater extremes, loss of consciousness or even death results. The blood has left the surface and the brain and most of it has ' gravitated to the abdominal cavity. The effect for the moment is the same as if it had left the body by way of a severed artery. As some one has said, when a man is killed by a "shock" he has "bled to death I into his own veins." When blood is thus withdrawn from the brain, the heart no longer receives the nervous force necessary for it to continue beating. The lungs are in a similar starved condition and the breathing is interfered with or stops altogether. All this, because the nerves whose duty it is to keep the blood vessels of the abnormal cavity in a state of partial contraction are paralyzed and can no longer do their work. Minor degrees of shock are familiarly known as fainting attacks.?Cor. Globe Democrat. 4 ^ -4. Dishonesty Begins at Home.?The crying sin of the day is dishonesty. One hears so much of it in public life; but as we have said before, there is too much of it altogether in private life. And its causes are to be found in the want of self-control in the ~ ' - - -1 indulgence or rastes ana uppeuies. i less, extravagant living is at the bottom of it all. If this liying had any true foundation in any hearty desire for any desirable things, there would be more hope of amendment. But when one comes to see w-hat things ill-gotten gains are spent upon, the outlook is a sad one. Dress, display, amusement, costly; wealth won evilly, merely i:hat it may be wasted foolishly ; these are the signs of a time which it is not pleasant,i to contemplate. If a man loves any one thing, say rare books, or pictures, or objects of art of any kind, or music, or science, so well that for the sake of one thing in which he would be rich, he is willing to be poor in everything else, no matter though his choice be an unwise one, according to the best standards of choice, he will yet have a motive which will help to keep him upright. But for those who love none of these things, but simply desire them because it is the habit of the time; because, like pampered children, they must needs cry for whatsoever they see just out of their reach, for them is needed the wholesome self-discipline which shall teach i:.hem to let alone whatever is not theirs. And the beginning of this self-discipline ?s in the home. Parents must teach their boys and girls the great lesson of doing without whatever cannot be fitly theirs. There need be no niggardly restraint, but in some way the first lesson for childhood should be thatof earning its pleasures. To get whatever it craves as soon as it asks for it, is the worst training a child can have. The Beauty of Simplicity.?Next to suitability, 1 say, let there be simplicity. John Newton, giving advice toa lady, said: "Madam, so dress and so conduct yourself that persons who have been in your company shall not recollect what you had on." That counsel, if followed, would lead to quite a different style of dress from which it is far too prevalent now. Simplicity seems banished, and we are forcibly re minded of the description given by Isaiah of the attire of women in Jerusalem in his days. The description is given in the third chapter of his Prophecies. There is a pretty fable of the angel and the rosebud which conveys the very lesson I am now seeking to enforce. It is said that "the angel who takes care of the flowers and sprinkles upon them dew in the still night, slumbered on a spring day in the shade of a rosebush. When he awoke he said, 'Most beautiful of my children, I thank thee for thy refreshing odor and cooling breeze. Could you now ask any favor, how willingly would I grant it!' 'Adorn me, then, with a new charm,'said the spirit of the rosebud in a beseeching tone. So the angel adorned the loveliest of flowers with simple moss. Sweetly it stood there in its modest attire, the moss-rose, the most beautiful of its kind. So the costliest ornaments are often the simplest; and it will be generally found that simplicity characterizes the highest refinement. Hence, never allow fashion to triumph over your common sense or good taste. Do not comply with the reigning modes at the expense of simplicity and suitability.? The Quiver. Dimensions of Heaven.?Lewis' Penny Reading publishes the following very interesting paragraph, the idea being to endeavor to show someway the dimensions of Heaven. Any one may prove the approximate accuracy of the computation for himself by performing the several operations called for. The basis of the calculation is taken from the 16th verse of the 21st chapter of Revelation: "And he measured the city with a reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length, and the breadth, and the height of it are equal." Twelve thousand furlongs equal 7,920,000 feet, which, being cubed, is 496,793,088,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. Reserving one-half of this space for the throne and Court of He .ven, and half the balance for streets, we have the remainder, 124,198,372,000,000,000,000 cubic feet in a room 16 feet square, and there will be 30,321,843,950,000,000 rooms. Now, suppose the world always did and always will hold 990,000,000 inhabitants and fKof a nanoruHnn luafu t.hirfw.fhrop anH nnp. Ihird years, making in all 2,070,000,000,000 inhabitants every century, and that the world will stand 100,000, years, or 1,000 centuries, making in all 2,070,000,000,000 inhabitants. Then suppose there were one hundred worlds equal to 'his in the number of Ihe inhabitants and duration of years, making a total of 2,979,000,000,000,000 persons, and there would be more than 100 rooms sixteen feet square for every person. Pure Air.?A noted physician has said that we hear much talk about malaria nowadays, but that modern bedrooms are more productive of malaria than housekeepers generally are awaffe. The Agriculturist aads: Persons who are moderately intelligent on other topics appear to have small thought, or that very perverted, on the subject of hygiene in their sleeping rooms, and especially those occupied by-children. The ventilation of a bed chamber cannot be too carefully attended to; and, as says Horace Mann, "Seeing the atmosphere is forty miles deep all around the globe, it is a useless piece of economy to breathe it more than once." Yet nine mothers out of ten will carefully close all the windows "for fear of colds apd. night air," and leave two or three children to sleep in a stifling atmosphere, and see no connection between the colds and throat troubles they have, and the vitiated air they compel them to breathe night after night. Let the morning air and sunshine into ; the bed room as soon as possible after the I occupants have risen; and if there is no sunshine, and it is not raining let in the air. Do not make up beds too soon after they are vacated. You may get your house tidied sooner, but it is neither cleanly nor healthful to snugly pack up bed clothing, until the exhalationsof the sleepers' bodies have been removed by exposure to the air. "Lo! the Poor Indian."?One of the strangest of all the facts in history is that the negro, a savage from Africa, has been transplanted to America and fostered into a man, civilized, educated, Christianized, while the native Indian has been wronged and butchered and exterminated. More thought has been given to the improvement ot the negro in America, and more blood has been shed for his freedom, than any other race of the whole human family have ever received from anoiner race. With one hand the American people have lifted up the negro, and with the other they have crushed the poor Indian. Is it not: time that the Indian should receive a full share of Christian sympathy and help?! Is it not time that the church should awake to its duty to these poor people? Is it not time that the Government should cease to kill and begin to comfort and educate ; them ??Alabama Christian Advocate. Origin op "The Dead Wood."?"I've , got the dead wood on you," is an expression signifying that the evidences of unfair dealing are producible for the justification of the defendant. It originated in this way : A man's wife died and a first class coffin was ordered. The coffin, supposed to be of rosewood, was lowered clumsily into . the grave, and one corner of it was knock-1 ed off. The gentleman took the piece of j wood home, and found it was pine. The | bill was presented and a rosewood coffin was ! one of the items. The undertaker was forced I to sue for the amount, and when brought to I court the defendant produced his chip in 1 evidence. So goes the story.?Detroit Free Press. I YQRKVILLE ENQUIRER. Prospectus for 1887. EXTRAORDINARY OFFER TO CLUB-MAKERS. Three Desirable Premiums. A BUGGY, A WAGON AND $15 IN CASH ON the 1st of January, 1887, the YORKVILLE ENQUIRER will enter upon its thirtythird volume, and while we shall strive to inak< it in every respect a more acceptable weekh publication than it has hitherto been, the leading features of the paper, which have always rendered it popular with all classes of readers will be retained. Besides the general make up of the Miscellaneous department, which feature has given the Enquirer a distinctive character we shall Dublish SERIAL STORIES Throughout the year, from the pens of thi most popular writers of fiction in thi world, and which department alone, on account of the character of the stories that we shall secure, will give it additional interest to all readers of light literature. In addition to the Story Literary and Miscellaneous features of the paper careful attention will be bestowed upon th< News department, which will embrace a record of the leading events at the State and National Capitals; Congressional and Legislative proceedings ; "Scraps and Facts," being a hotch-potch ol light current topics; a compend of the News Abroad and at Home; County and General Correspondence; Market Reports; Local and Stats News; Editorial Articles upon appropriate subjects intended to promote tbe welfare and prosperity of our State and people, which will, w< trust, continue to render the Enquirer a welcome and entertaining Family Journal. TEEM8 OF 8UB80BIPTI0N?FREE OF POSTAGE. Single copjr, one year, ?2.5< Two copies, one year, 4.(X One copy, two years, 4.0< PREMIUMS TO CLUB-MAKERS. To club-makers for the approaching volume we otfer THREE PREMIUMS for the thre< largest clubs, as follows : One RREWSTER SIDE BAR PIANO BOX BUGGY, worth 800. One TWO-HORSE "OLD HICKORY" WAG ON, worth 855. A Cash premium of FIFTEEN DOLLARS. Description of Onr Premiums. THE BUGGY Is a tirst-class vehicle in every respect, made o; the best materials, and is known as the piano bo j style, which has become the most popluar buggj now in use. It is hung on thecelebrated Brews ter Side bar Oil tempered springs, which are tin most comfortable, and, therefore, the most widely used side spring. It is full leather trim meci wmi "lazy DacK," ?avern paieni wueeis steel tire, best steel, faintail, double collar axles It is painted a rich black. The buggy is a gooc one and will give satisfaction. It is worth $<30 It is furnished to us bv Mr. M. C. WILLIS successor to the late B. T. Wheeler. manufacturer of and dealer in buggies, carriages Ac., anc may be seen by calling at his factory in thif place. THE WAGON Is known as the "Old Hickory," manufactured by the Kentucky Wagon Manufacturing Co., oi Louisville, Ky. The "Old Hickory" is recognized as one of the best wagons manufactured in tin United States. The materials of which it is mad< are of the best quality and are put together bj skilled workmen, and it is thoroughly and handsomely painted. The wagon is a two-horse thimble skein; of two thousand pounds capacity The lowest retail price is $55. The wagon was furnished to us by Mr. JOHN R. ASHE, tin Company's agent at Yorkville. CONDITIONS. The three Premiums mentioned above will b< awarded on the following conditions: The person getting up the largest club of yearly subscribers to the Fvquirer, at $2.00 pei annum, for each subscriber, will be entitled t< the first choice of one of the above Premiums the person getting up the second largest club, al the same price, to the second choice; the persor getting up the third largest club, to the third choice. The time for completingclubs under the abov< offer is limited to 1 o'clock P. M., on the SECOND MONDAY OF MARCH, 1887. Competitors may begin to secure subscribers at oneethe time of subscription to commence whenevei the name is handed in. The money for eacl subscriber is expected to be paid at the time th< name is entered upon our books, and no nami will be counted in competition for a premiun and no premium delivered until the subscriptior prico has been paid. To persons who make up clubs of ten or mor< names, but who may fail to obtain one of th< above premiums, wo will send the Enquire! one year free of charge, and to those who senc a club of twenty or more names, but who maj fail to get a premium, wo will forward the Enquirer one year free of charge, and a copy, on< year, of any weekly newspaper or monthlj mo?i7lna rtiiMiuhnrl in t It A United Slates, thl publication to be selected by the person entitled to receive it. It is not necessary that the names of a clut should all be at the same post-office. Names may be taken at any number of places. On? name for two years will be equivalent to twc names for one year each. All subscriptions must be forwarded to us at the expense of those sending them. We will be responsible for the safe transmission of money only when sent by draft, registered letter or money order drawn on the Yorkville post-office. In sending names, write plainly, giving postoffice, county and State. All subscriptions will be discontinued at tin expiration of the time paid for. A.separate list will be kept for each club-maker, wno will be credited with every name sent so that the number sent by any one person car be ascertained at a moment's notice. Porsons who commence making clubs, wil! not be permitted, after the names have been entered on our books, to transfer the names tc another club-maker's list. $S!r The time in which additions may be mad< to clubs under this proposition, will expire or the SECOND MONDAY OF MARCH, 1887 Therefore, persons who desire the benefit o; club rates, must subscribe and pay forthepapei before that date, as after the expiration of thai time it will not be furnished for less than ?2.5( unless now clubs are formed. All letters should be addressed to L. M. GRIST, Yorkville, S. C. RELIEF! Forty Years A Suffer From Catarrh, WONDERFUL TO RELATE! ^T^IOR FORTY YEARS I have been a victiir J? to CATARRH?three-fourths of the time a sufferer from excruciating pains across mj forehead and nostrils. The discharges wero sc offensive that I hesitate to mention it, except foi the good that it may do some other sufferer. 1 have spent a young fortune from my earnings (luring my fortvyears of suffering to obtain relief from the doctors. I have tried patent medicines?every one I could learn of?from the foui corners of the earth, with no relief. And at lasl (57 years of age) have met with a remedy thai has cured me entirely?made me a new man. 1 weighed 128 pounds and now weigh 14(5. I used thirteen bottles of the medicine, and the only re prret I have is that being in me nuinuiu wants uj life I may not have influence to prevail on all catarrh sufferers to use what has cured me Guinn's PlO.VEEU IiLOOI) RENEWKR. HENRY CHEVES, "No. 267 Second St., Macon, Ga." Mr. Ilenry Cheves, the writer of the above formerly of Crawford county, now of Macon, Georgia, merits the confidence of all interested in catarrh. W. A. HUFF, Ex-Mayor of Macon. A Superb Flesh Producer and Tonic! Guinn's Pioneer Blood Renewer Cures all Blood and Skin Diseases, Rheumatism, Scrofula, Old Sores. A perfect Spring Medicine. If not in your market it will be forwarded on receipt of price. Small bottles 31.00; large bottles 31.75. Essay on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free. MACON MEDICINE COMPANY, Macon, Georgia. For sale by LOWRY & STARR, Yorkville. November 17 11 ly BradfLeld's Female Regulator. THIS famous remedy most happily meets the demand of the age for woman's peculiar and multiform afflictions. It is a remedy for WOMAN ONLY, and for one SPECIAL CLASS of her diseases. It is a specific for certain diseased ? ? ..-n...k ?,,/ ! nmnrwod to sr> con UUUUlllUIia VI IUD nuiuv, uitu trol the Menstrual Function as to regulate all the derangements and irregularities of her MonthlySickness. The proprietors claim for this remedyno other medical property. BRADFIELD'S FEMALE REGULATOR Is strictly a Vegetable Compound, and is the studied pYescription of a most learned physician whoso specialty was WOMAN, and whose fame became enviable and boundless because of his wonderful succe* in the treatment and cure of female complain.o. Suffering woman, it will relievo you of nearly all the complaints peculiar to your sex. For sale by druggists. Write for book on Female Diseases to BRAD FIELD REGULATOR CO., Atlanta, Ga. August 11 32 ly CHATTEL MORTGAGES, MORTGAGES of Real Estate, and Titles to Real Estate. For sale at the ENQUIRER OFFICE. X GARRY IRON RO Manufacturers of all kinds of , j IRON ROOFING CRIMPED AND CORRUGATED SIDING, Iron Tile or Shingle, FIRE PROOF DOORS, SHUTTERS 4C., THE LARGEST MANUFACTURERS 0 $3- Orders received by L. M. GRIST. , May 10 3 TAX RETURNS FOR 1886-87. AUDITOR'S OFFICE, YORK COUNTY, Yorkvili.h, S. C., December 1, 1886. J A CCORDING to law, the TAX BOOKS OF > J\_ YORK COUNTY, for the fiscal year com mencing i\ovemoer isi, jwd, win uou|juii uum 5 JANUARY 1ST, 1887, UNTIL FEBRUARY i ? 20TII, 1887, inclusive. The Auditor will attend at the following places and times to take the tax returns of the several tax-payers of York county for the fiscal year 188(5. J AtYorkville, on Saturday, January 1,1887. * At Bethany, on Monday, January 3, 1887. t At Clover,"on Tuesday, January 4, 1887. At Bethel, on Wednesday, January 5,1887. * At Thompson's Mill, on Thursday, Januarv ? 6, 1887. > At Clay Hill, on Friday, January 7, 1887. 3 At Neely it Son's Store, on Saturday, Januarv 8,1887. 1 At Massey's Store, on Monday, January 10 1887. ' At McC'onnellsville, on Tuesday, January 11, 3 1887. At Bullock's Creek Church, on Wednesday, 3 January 12, 1887. At Rainey's Mill, on Thursday, January 13, 1887. 3 At Hickory Grove, on Friday, Januarv 14, 1887. At Clark's Fork, on Saturday, January 15, 1887. . At Rock Hill, on Monday, Tuesday, Wednes: day, Thursday and Friday, January 17,18, 19, 20 and 21, 1887. ' AtCoates' Tavern, on Saturday, January 22, 1887. At Fort Mill, on Monday and Tuesday, January 24 and 25, 1887. 5 At Grover, on Wednesday, January 20, 1887. At Black's, on Thursday, Friday and Satur day, January 27,28 and 29,1887. At Yorkville, from January 31, to February . 20,1887, inclusive. At which time the Books will close and penalty attach to all delinquents. All residents in York county, between the ages of 21 and 60, are liable to poll tax. W. B. WILLIAMS, Auditor. December 1 48 tf f NOTICE. To All Whom It May Concern : [ TJURSUANTto the order of the Court of Com-' [ mon Pleas for Y'ork county, in the case of "Dan'l McLure et al. vs. George Steele, Adm'r, | et al.," notice is hereby given that the proper parties are required to call for the following divi' rionHa tn wit.; j One-half Fi. Fa., Thos. Davies vs. Win. McLure and Moses Lindsay, $592 32 ' Lindsay & Gordon, 50 60 ' James "W. Nelson, 8 50 I W. B. Ashe 26 50 . S. C. Yonngblood, Executor, 13 50 J J. H. Tobit 23 50 R. Springs Moore, deceased, 285 10 Heirs of Mary Nance, deceased, 12 25 I And notice is hereby also given, that order f will be made by the Court, at its next Term, to distribute to other creditors, who have proved ' claims, the balance then on hand of the fund 3 now held to pay unclaimed dividends. ' York C. H.,S. C., November 30, 1886. JOS. F. WALLACE, Clerk. > December 1 48 4m ! THE STATE OF~ SOUTH CAROLINA, i York County. WHEREAS GEORGE E. HOOD has applied to me for Letters of Administration, on all and singular the goods and chattels, rights 3 and credits of JOHN P. HOOD, late of the county aforesaid, deceased: These are, therefore, to cite and admonish all " and singular the kindred and creditors of the > said deceased, to be and appear before me, at our I next Probate Court for tne said county, to be t holden at York Court House on WEDNESDAY, | the 15TH DAY OF DECEMBER, 1886, at 11 ' o'clock A. M., to shew cause, if any, why the said Administration should not be granted. * Given under my hand and seal this 29th day of November, in the year of our Lord onethousand eight hundred and eighty-six, and in the 111th year of the-Independence of the United r States of America. > JOS. F. WALLACE, C. C. Pis. and Probate 3 Judge ad interim of York County. 3 December 1 48 2t ' W. G. REID Ac CO., [ ROCK HILL, S. C., r Manufacturers of and Dealers in ) r 3 Wagons, Buggies, Carriages, Lumber, &c. | rpHE only dealers in the "State, outside of the j JL city of Charleston, who buy the above goods ) by the car-load, and are, therefore, prepared to otter bargains nowhere else to be obtained. ) DEALERS IN Stoyes, Sewing Machines, Furniture and House Furnishing Goods of all kinds. s Pianos and Organs. ? Give us a call, or write for prices before buyl lng any of the above-named goods. all goods warranted ) And satisfaction guaranteed, r W. G. REID & CO. r October 20 42 3m t ???? ?? * JOHN R. ASHE. W. N. ASHE, JR. ASHE Ac ASHE, McConnellsville, S. cottojTginning, &c. 1T|7 E hereby beg to inform the public that we If are fully prepared to Gin Cotton, Grind Corn and furnish Brick in any quantity. We have nothing but first-class machinery and don't ! hesitate to say that we can do you better work j than any competitor. We will run an eightyr saw new Pratt Gin, and have it geared to > run slow and gin on the old horse-power style, r making a finer sample and cleaning theseed better than the present usual method of ginning , cotton. We have our Corn Mill ready to mash corn and . deem it unnecessary to say more than that our machinery was prepared and put in motion by t J. WYLIE WELLS, which alone is sufficient ; guarantee for first-class work. [ We have one quarter of a million of Brick now ready for market, and will be pleased to . serve any party with both pl/tin and pressed f Brick in such quantity as they may want. We . will ship Brick to any point to which we can i make satisfactory freight rates. We will meet any competition in our merchandise business and guarantee satisfaction in every instance. Give us a showing all round. ASHE <ft ASHE. T. S. JEFFERYS. AGRICULTURAL HALL. - A FULL STOCK OF SASH, DOORS AND BLINDS, Engine Fittings, Babbit Metal, ROLAND CHILLED TURN PLOWS, Thomas Harrows, 'randall disk harrows. ALSO, Two Secoml-Hand Engines on Hand, Which I will sell very low. Don't Forget to Pay Yonr Guano Notes. T. S. JEFFERYS. ! "MOORE COUNTY GRIT" The best Mill*tone in the World for Table Meal Sample* of meal lent on application. Send for price* on Portable Corn Mill*, Upper and Under Runner* and Mill* tone*. We are agent* for Rncinen, Holler*, Saw Mill*, Cotton tilns, Planer*. Shafting. Pulley*. Jtc., al*o for ItollcrOIlII Outfits which ?ave SOtof.lcenU for the miller in every barrel of flour he make*. Write itating what yon want and term* you with to bnv on. Giro reference*. Address, North Carolina IVlilL tone Co., Parkewood, Moon Go., N. C. June 23 25 6m* i ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. ALL persons indebted to the estate of JAMES R. DULIN, deceased, are hereby notified to 1 make immediate payment to the undersigned, i Persons having claims against the said estate are requested to present them duly authenticated, within the time prescribed by law. I T. JOSEPH PATRICK, Administrator. I November 24 47 3t OFITVO COMPANY, IRON ORE PAINT And Cement. 152 TO 158 MERWIN STREET Cleveland, O. mBW jfe va Send for Circularancl Price ' List No. 75. P IRON ROOFING IN THE WORLD. 9 ly F. HAPPERFIELD. FRESH GROCERIES. MY full stock of Groceries consists of the best goods that can be bought, and will be sold as low as any other house will sell you. HARDWARE. A full supply ot Hardware, including Plow Fixtures and all other articles in that line rennirAft in ftcrimilt.iirftl nnuNtinna n ? o BOOTS A\D SHOES. A large lot of all grades. Call and examine tliern before buying. I will take pleasure in showing them and can save you money. TOBACCO AXD CIGABS. A full line of Chewing and Smoking Tobaccos, Snuff and Cigars. MARBLE YARD. Special attention given to all kinds of Monumental and Tomb Stone Work. Prices are lower than ever before. I can certainly sell you work cheaper than any traveling agent can, fori will save you the commissions paid to them. Call and see specimens of work and ascertain prices. F. HAPPERFIELD. C. & L. NARROW GAUGE RAILROAD SCHEDULE of Mail and Passenger Trains from Lenoir, N. C., to Chester, S. C., taking effect at 12 o'clock, Noon, Sunday, November 7th, 1886: GO I NO SOtTTH. Leave Lenoir ....; 4.30 A. M. Arrive at Hickory, 0.15 A. M. Leave Newton 7.30 A. M. Arrive at Lincolnton, 8.42 A. M. Arrive at Dallas.....'. 9.50 A. M. Arrive at Gastonia,...., 10.22 A. M. LeaveGastonia 10.40 A. M. Arrive at Clover, 11.30 A. M. Arrive at Yorkville, 12.22 P. M. Leaye Yorkville, 12.30 P. M. Arrive at Guthriesville, 1.00 P. M. Arrive at Lowrysville 1.35 P. M. Leave Lowrysville, 1.50 P. M. Arrive at Chester 2.25 P. M. GOING NORTH. Leave Chester, 1.00 P. M. Arrive at Lowrysville, 1.36 P. M. Leave Lowrysville, 1.30 P. M. Arrive at Guthriesville, 2.13 P. M. Arrive at Yorkville, 2 43 P. M. Leave Yorkville 2.55 P. M. Arrive at Clover, 3 37 P. M. Arrive at Gastonia, 4.36 P. M. Leave Gastonia, ; 4.58 P. M. Arrive at Dallas, 5.27 P. M. Arrive at Lincolnton, 6.28 P. M. Arrive at Newton, 7.56 P. M. Leave Hickory, ?.... 9.00 P. M. Arrive at Lenoir, ." 10.45 P. M. G. R. TALCOTT. Superintendent. November 10 45 tf THE HOWE MACHINE MMPANV'S Light Running, High Arm, "NEW HOWE." WHICH IS THE BEST SEWING MACHINE BVUIt MADS. I CALL special attention to the following features : The NEW HOWE is a new macnine throughout, differing in every point from the machines heretofore manufactured by the company. The needle is self-setting. It has the most room under the arm; the perfect Howe 9titch: no holes to thread, except the needle; the easiest shuttle to thread ; the most perfect take up ; the loose balance-wheel; the largest bobbin ; absolutely no vibration; the most perfect tension. It is the lightest running; noiseless, and the most pleasing in appearance. Prices within the reach of all. Call and get a descriptive circular, and see the machine, which is always on exhibition at my Photographic Gallery. PHOTOGRAPHY. I would inform the public that lam yet making PHOTOGRAPHS in all the various styles. Also, Ferrotypes and other cheaper styles of pictures. Pictures by the photographic process enlarged, and all work done in the oest style of the art at reasonable prices. Gallery on West Liberty street, near the jail. J. R. SCHOIB. 1886. WEST LIBERTY STREET. 1886. Yorkville Livery and Feed Stables ARE still on a boom, and the year 1886 finds me with some of the finest Vehicles ever shown in the Livery business in Yorkville, and surpasssed by none. Everything will bo kept in me Dest siyio. uive me a inai auu ub convinced. Cincinnati and Colnmbns Buggies Of every description will be kept. Spring Wagons, Phcetons, &e.f of the best make, always on hand. FOR FUNERALS I have a fine Queen City Hearse and a Clarence Coach, which will be sent to any part ef the county at short notice. Terms reasonable. A Big Bargain. I have a Jumpseat Phaeton and some Buggies on hand that I will give a big bargain in, if sold soon to make room for my new stock. HAVE YOUR HORSES FED At the Yorkville Livery and Feed Stables, where they will receive the best attention. F. E. SMITH. October 13 41 tf D. E. FINLEY, ATTORNEY AT ZiAW, Yorkville, S. C. WILL practice in all the Courjts of the State. %$)r Collections a specialty. October 13 41 3m ?bf forfenlk #tn)uiw. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION : Single copy for one year, 9 2 50 For six months, 1 25 For three months, 75 Two copies one year 4 00 Ten copies one year 20 00 And an extra copy for a club of ten. How to Order the Enquirer.?Write the name of.the subscriber very plainly, give postoffice, countv and State, in full, ami senu the amount of the subscription by draft or post office money order, or enclose the money in a registered letter. Postage.?The Enquirer is delivered free of postage to all subscribers residing in York county, who receive the paper at post-offices within the county; and to all other subscribers the postage is paid by the publisher. Our subscribers, no matter whore they receive the paper, are not liable for postage, ft being prepaid at the post-office here, without additional charge to the subscriber. Watch the Figures.?The date on the "address-label" shows the time to which the Subscription is paid. If subscribers do not wish their papers discontinued, the date must be kejtl in advance. Cash.?It must be distinctly* understood that our terms for subscriptions, advertising and jobwork are cash in advance. ADVERTISING RATES. ONE DOLLAR per square for the first insertion, and FIFTY CENTS per square, for each subsequent insertion. A square consists of the space occupied by seven lines of this size type. Contracts will be made at reduced rates for advertising space to be used for three, six, or twelve months. All contract advertisements will be confined to the regular business for which the space is engaged. jZS*- Rejocted manuscripts will not be returned to the writers. Persons who send manuscript to this office for publication and desire a copy of the same, should make a duplicate. Tributes of Respect and Obituary notices charged for at the rate of ten cents a line. Unsally there are about seven words in a line.