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pimarotts department. SOME PRACTICAL JOKES. Hon. Benjamin Fitzpatrick, who was Governor of Alabama from 1S41 to 184-r>, came of a family renowned for practical jokes. He was not such an irrepressible jester as someof his brothers and other relatives, but he too had a decidedly large bump of that brand of humor, as the following true story told me by a near relative of his, will show: At one time he held the office of State Solicitor, or what is called in some States, District Attorney; Montgomery, his place of residence, and "NVetumpka, were in his dis-1 trict. Judge Cannon was the presiding officer at the time of which I am writing. Court had just closed at Montgomery and was to open the next day at Wetumpka. There was not a railroad in the State of Alabama at that time, and the officers and lawyers of the district "took the rounds1' either on horseback or in buggies. Judge Cannon, and an elderly attorney whom I shall call Jonas, traveled together in a buggy, drawn by a pair of large mules. Jonas was rather an effeminite looking man destitute of beard, and almost a bankrupt in * ' " i i tti i. i; i.i.t ^ u ~ tne mailer 01 cranai ioiiage. w nut unit? lie had, grew along the lower edges of his dome of thought, while the upper precincts were as barren as the Staked Plains. Jonas allowed these scanty strands to grow as long as Mother Nature would let them, and he would brush them back in such a manner as to entirely cover the denuded bible lands above, and twist them together behind, and hold them in place by a "tucking comb," such as is worn by ladies. With his hat on, Jonas did not present a particularly eccentric appearance, but when seen for the first time bare-headed, he was really a mirth provoking object. On the occasion of which I am writing, Fitzpatrick rode on horsebak to Wetumpka, and passed Judge Cannon and his friend Jonas on the way. A few miles from the city he passed a shallow slough of rather muddy water, which was some 200 yards wide. After crossing he dismounted, built an immense fire of brush and pine knots, and then pro ceeded to disrobe, hanging his garments around the fire as though he was drying them. > In a little while his Honor and Mr. Jonas arrived at the further edge of the water, when Fitzpatrick, arrayed in a single garment, (an uudershirt) yelled out: "Don't drive in there, Judge, for Heaven's sake! It's at least ten feet deep in the middle, and you will drown sure." The Honorable Court and his companion then held a brief consultation, when they decided that the present outlook was anything but flattering. They also decided to take Fitch's advice, (Fitch was a sort of nickname or contraction for Fitzpatrick), unhitch their mules, and swim over, as he said he had done. Not caring to get their clothes wet and having to dry them as Fitch was doing (or rather, seemed to be doing) they concluded to strip off before they started upon their perilous ride, tie their clothing up in small bundles and hold them over their heads as they swam their mules across. Once across they could resume their raiment and walk the rest of the way to Wetumpka, or ride their bareback mules, as they saw fit. By this time Fitzpatrick began a rather hasty resumption of his garments, saying that he would hurry on to town and send a buggy back to meet His Honor and his friend. He did not shirt, however, until he saw his victims nearly across the dark and shallow waters. The two legal luminaries presented anything but a spectacle of dignity and reverence, to be sure; with no article of clothing onexceDta stove-nine hat. ridins: bareback mules with blind bridles and buggy harness on, with one hand convulsively clasping a small bundle above their heads, while the other clutched in a vice-like grip a tuft of mane, for neitherof them could swim a yard. Thus they tremblingly entered the slough. Fitzpatrick afterward said that he would willingly have given a hundred dollars to have had some of his legal comrades with him to enjoy the fun. Suppressed laughter almost burst his diaphragm, as fonward the dignified Judge and solemn barrister came splashing through knee deep water, momentarily expecting to plunge into a ten foot abyss. There was no portion of the water over a foot and a half deep. As they neared the farther shore Fitzpatrick mounted his horse and rode on to Wetumpka, leaving "The Court" and his comrade to enjoy the discovery of his wicked sell. The hotel at which the Judge and visitinp attorneys alwavs stormed was kept by a very prim and somewhat prudish old lady, who was well acquainted with "Col. Fitch," Judge Cannon, and most of the Montgomery lawyers ; but she had never seen Jonas. The old lady had numerous questions to ask "Col. Fitch" about himself and some of his brother attorneys who had not arrived. With a lugubrious expression of countenance "Col. Fitch" told her that he had passed Judge Cannon some miles back, "but was sorry to find that he was bringing that old woman along with him." "What old woman ? His wife," asked the landlady. "No indeed!" replied Fitch. "The Judge has no wife. It's a great pity he hasn't. If he had a good wife perhaps her influence might restrain him from traveling over this iudicial district in company with a female dressed in male attire." The old hotel mistress was thoroughly shocked, "that such a nice, modest, well-behaved old gentleman as Judge Cannon should thus disgrace himself," as she suggested the possibility of Fitzpatrick's being mistaken about it. "It's a fact," madam," he solemnly assured her. "No one would suspect her sex at first sight, so well disguised is she, but if you will notice carefully when she removes her hat, she has her bair done up in a little Grecian knot, and fastened belaud with a regular ladies' tucking comb. It is really a crying shame the way the old hypocrite has been acting lately, and if you do not want the reputation of your hotel ruined, you had better not let them put up here." Tho nlfl InHv w?i<!ahlnzp with indignation. and she said she "was jest eachin"tosee the old vilyan and tell him what she thought of him." About dusk Judge Cannon and his baldheaded companion drove up. The evening was rather cool, and the little office of the hotel was nearly full of newly arrived lawyers, to whom Fitzpatrick had just related the "deep-water," as he styled it, and also what he had told the landlady about "His Honor" and his female traveliugcompanion. They were all giving the Jud^e a hearty greeting, when in sailed the old landlady, with the hauteur of a duchess. Walking boldly up to the Judge, that good-natured dignitary, with his face wreathed in smiles, held out his hand, with "how do you do, my dear madam ; I am really glad?" "Don't you come around here a 'dear madaming' me, you old whitewashed graveyard !" she fairly shrieked. "You and that lantern-jawed old wench" (shaking her finger menacingly in Jonas' face) "can jest i gather up your duds an' skip; you au-daci- j ous old heathen!" To say that Judge Cannon was dumfound- j ed would be putting it entirely too tamely, i He was a whole dumb asylum. As soon as his bewildered mental facultioc nnnlrl r?llv SV lit,tip hp hfl wlod OUt: "Ben Fitch has been telling you some infernal lies on us, and I'll tine him fifty i dollars for contempt of court if he doesn't: take it back at once." "Col. Fitch is a gentleman, sir, and don't j tell lies on nobody," hotly retorted the old lady, while "Col. Fitch" had ignoiniously retired behind a group of lawyers out of range of the fiery glances of the indignant Judge. Everbody present except Cannon, Jonas and the irate landlady were now wreathing in the convulsions of laughter. "Do you dare stand there and tell me and these gentlemen that this thing here is a man ? Hey ?" screamed the angry hostess, livid with rage, and still shaking her long finger of concentrated scorn at the pale and trembling Jonas. She then made a bound forward, like a cat pouncing upon a crouching rabbit, and seizing his glossy silk hat and pointing the same scornful finger to the innocent little tucking comb, exclaimed: "Look at that, gentlemen, and tell me what ought to be done with a deer-stick judge who would have such an ugly old female scarecrow as she around the circuit with him, an' then have the insurance to try I ~~~~ j to pass her off for a man, an' in a respectable hotel at that! It's a regular outrage on 1 society, an' I say they had both ought to be tarred an' feathered an' then rid on a rail I out of this here town." | The hilarious lawyers then and there asi sembled did not "ride theguilty parties" on j a mil, but somebody paid for several gallons of good, pure, old time fluid extract of rye i ; on that memorable night. REMINISEXCES OF ARTEMUS WARD. A correspondent of the New York Tribune j writes : Turning the leaves of a venerable 1 scrap-book, the other day, I came upon one of the programmes that Artemus Ward used | to furnish to those who attended his lectures, ' "Among the Mormons." Does anybody know what became of the panorama upon which he held forth ? It went with him to England, but since his death has never been heard of. Here is the programme : i. Prologue?By Artemus Ward?Professedly to introduce the subject, but really to give the accomplished crankist time to unroll the first picture. u. The steamship Ariel at sea?Out 011 the briny. The sea rough. Passengers unable to remain inside their staterooms or outside their victuals. An immense seaserpent in our wake, another in our sleep. Land ho!? N. B. The hoe is now in Artemus Ward's possession. Isthmus of Panama. Interesting interview with old Panama himself, who makes all the hats. Old Pan is a likely sort of a man. nr. Montgomery Street San Francisco?Life aud things in El Dorado?the Chinese Drama?Light Celestial Comedy in seven hundred and two acts, by a Chinese gentleman of this city. Good quarters to be found here. Playful population, fond of high, low Jack and homicide. IV. Virginia City?A wild place. Game abundant; principally faroand bluff?Shooting prevalent 111 consequence. Every man carries a revolver, and every other man two. Silver mines?the treasure carefully guarded, each proprietor keeping a silver watch. v. The great desert?a dreary waste of sand? a perfectly shameful waste, in fact. They ought to save it. VI. Bird's-eye view of Great Salt Lake City? A rather pretty picture, with some entirely serious descriptive talk. vi I. Main Street, West Side?This being a view of Main Street, west side, is naturally a view of the west side of Main street. VIII. Main Street, East Side?The Salt Lake house. Lots of salt in this house?saltcellars, in fact. A temperance hotej?nothing stronger than butter, which was rather strengthy when A. W. was there. Guests were requested to turn off the candles before retiring at night. Washing not allowed in rooms. You must go out in the porch and wash with cast-iron soap, though they call it cast-steel. IX. The Mormon Theatre?Mormons as theatre-goes?Effects of the drama on their manners, etc. It accounts for the way they act. Also, for their calling a certain place the "Bottomless Parquette." x. Brighain's Young's Harem?one of the most interesting places in Utah, especially to Brigham Young. Two dwelling houses and a school-house. In the latter addition is illustrated by Brigham's wives, and multiplication by his children. The pretty girls in Utah mostly marry Young. XII. Heber C. Kimball's Harem?Mr. Kimball has a great many wives who are very dear to him; much more expensive than a less number would be; he is one of the most numerous parents in Utah. Seventy-six Mormonesses share Mr. Kimball's lot. We do not know how many acres there are in this lot, but there ought to be a lot of them for a lot of such wives, who should they follow the saline example of Lot's wife, will make Salt Lake City salt indeed. On being tenderly condoled with on the death of one of his wives. Mr. Kimball said: "Oh, never mind. I've got plenty more of 'em at home." XIII. The Tabernacle?This is the great Mormon meeting-house. The Elders and Youngers "nrpnr-h" here. A F ass Band is at one end of the building; and the pulpit at the other. Thus'there is Brass at both ends. The Mormon sisters sit by themselves in the middle of the house. Rows by any other name wouldn't be as sweet. xv. The Great Salt Lake?Curious body of water?Analyzation proves it to contain a large number of old salts. No fish can live in it except salt cod fish, mackerel and red herrings. There are mermaids there, though they have Salt Rheums. Injuns live on the bank of this lake. Little Injuns seen in the distance trundling their warwhoops. XVI. The Endowment House?In this building the Mormon is instructed into the mysterious rites?and wrongs?of his faith. RULES or THIS HOUSE. Children in arms not admitted, if the arms are loaded. Children under one year of age not admitted unless accompanied by their parents or guardians. Ladies or gentlemen will please report any negligence or disobedience on the part of the lecturer. Artemus Ward will not be responsible for any money, jewelry, or other valuables, unless left with him?to be returned in a week or so. Persons who think they will enjoy themselves more by leaving the hall early in the evening, are requested to do so with as little noise as possible. It is doubtful if more fun was ever crowded iuto the same space?or do you happen to know a current humorist that could write a funnier one? I well remember the lirst time J heard him. He appeared on the stage looking crest-fallen and with face turned anxiously towards the door which he entered. "The gentleman who was to have introduced me seems to have absented himself;" then, altera hesitating pause, he added, "I am Artemus Ward, lecturer of the evening." It was difficult to believe there was much music in this serious-faced young gentleman. But what roars of laughter he provoked! There was a joke in his lecture ! which, once good, had been rendered abso- ! lutey pointless by some event that had hap- j pened. He carefully repeated the joke, while every one in the audience was saying i to himself, "You might much better have omitted that, Artemus." Thejoke uttered, the joker paused, a distressed look passed over his face, and he observed in a frank, pathetic way "That little anecdote of mine isn't as good as it was." The effect was irresistible. T,? ir.t. Tfpin Oi.m." "Tf ?\v. ! 11 1UU1V lllO Ji L VI * a V ful, awful, awful!" exclaimed a train boy, just as a group of ladies were passing down the platform. "what was that which was so awful?" lias anybody been killed ? Has there been a terrible catastrophe? What did they do with the wounded ? When did the collis- j ion take place?" Such were a few of the questions that as- j sailed the youth. "'Twan't no collision, ladies; but it was j awful all the same." "What was it? Don't keep us in sus- j pcnse." "Well, you see, ladies, a gentleman was ; standing fight here on the platform, and ! just as the train started, he gave a jump?" i "And was crushed beneath the wheels, i and his maneded corpse was strewn for miles I along the track." "Not exactly, marra, but the train took his head right off." Instantly the air resounded with cries of horror from the feminine group. When the boy could make himself heard, he remarked : i "I don't see anything horrible about it, j ladies. The train'took the man's body off j | too. But he came awfully near being left." j As the ladies turned to move on, the words "disgusting little creature," were borne upon the air, mingled with a low chuckle from the train-boy's vicinity.?Bos- j ton Transcript. flcadiufl tor the ,fablrath. > CONDUCTED BY HEV. ROBERT LATHAN. [Original.] HOME TRAINING. This is an age noted for its seminaries ol learning. Schools and colleges have multiplied until they have become a part of nearly every community. This is all well enough. It is as it ought to be, but the home-training of children is generally, and to a fearful extent, neglected. This is as it ought wrt to be. Parents generally are handing their children over to Sabbath-schools, that they may be religiously trained, and entrusting their mental and social training to the schools and colleges of the country. The majority of parents pay no sort of attention to the religious education of their children. The result is, that the boys and girls of the country are growing up without any knowledge of the primary principles of the Christian religion. Only a boy and girl here and there, the son or daughter of some old-fashioned parents,is taught the ten commandments. Children are permitted to grow up in ignorance of those laws from ^11 lmironil nniiit\7 onfl nrilprsirp WHICH ill 1 ?UUU ici<v* ci a iva wAu*vj v.^x?. ??.v derived. The shifting of parental responsibility to the Sabbath-school, or to any other institution, isa dangerous undertaking. Jts effects must be seen and felt in a short time, and they must, of necessity, be bad. The foundation of all good civil government is laid in the family. The character of the population of a country must be what the families composing the population are. If the majority of the families of any country are ignorant and vicious the majority of the population of that country are ignorant and vicious. The neglect of proper family training not only has a deleterious effect upon a community in a social and civil point of view, but it is a prolific source of immorality and vice. The family is the nursery of the visible Church. It is in the family that children are trained for serving God in this world, and for enjoying him in the world to come. It is true that parents cannot give their offspring new hearts, they cannot give them T4- TirVw^n noi*?tnfc gl.tize. -i t is j lint ?is ii iii~ iiuit iv in-ii ^uiviiw neglect the moral training of their children they rarely make eminently godly men and women. On the contrary, they generally grow up to be neglecters of everything that pertains to godliness. To this, there are exceptions, just as there are exceptions to all general rules. It sometimes happens that the fields of the sluggard yield a bountiful harvest, but usually it is the hand of the diligent that maketh rich. It would he very diflieultto point out a plan which would be more likely to secure success to parents desiring to bring disgrace upon themselves and offspring, than the neglect of family government. Other plans may entail ruin upon a household, this is certain to succeed. Socially, there is nothing more disgusting than a family of ill-bred children. The fault generally lies in parents neglecting to discharge their duty. Such children grow up to be rude and impudent. They have no respect for their parents, and consequently, no respect for themselves. Such being the case, they are, to all intents and purposes, worthless to both Church and State. [Original. | RELIGION. The authorities do not agree as to the etymological derivation of the word religion. The import of the word, however, is not doubtful. According to Webster, it means "the recognition of God as an obiect of worship, love and obedience." With all proper respect for the memory of Noah Webster, it may be remarked that thisdefinition is particular and not general. Religion is the recognition of a Supreme being as an object of worship, love and obedience. The human family generally, if not universally, single out some being, either real or imaginary, which they regard as Supreme, and which they regard as a proper object of worship. This being, they, in some sense, love and obey. To this being they are devoted, hence they are devout worshipers. True religion may be defined in the language of Webster, somewha; changed, to be the recognition of God as the only proper object of worship, and the only being in the universe entitled to the supreme love of his intelligent crea"> A- ...1 4.1 I J..* J* ,.1.A lures, unci lo wuoui u usy uwe iiuauiuiu uuc dience. Practical religion consists in obeying the voice of God. The incentive to this obedience is love. Theoretically, true religion is the recognizing of God as the only proper object of worship, or as the only being to whom absolute obedience is due. In religion, as in many other things, we may have theory without a corresponding practice. The heathen have a correct theory of religion, and generally their practice is in conformity with their theory, but they err in that the object they worship is not the living and true God. They cannot be charged with being irreligious, either in theory or practice. In fact, they are exceedingly religious, but the object of their worship is not the proper object of worship. In Christendom there is a strange state of things. It is generally believed that all men worship some god. This is the theory commonly promulgated. Is it correct? Does every one in Christendom worship some thing which is recognized as a proper object of worship? In theory it will be admitted that all recognize the existence of a Supreme bding. There are no theoretical atheists, but are there no practical atheists? Let us examine the definition of religion. It is a recognition of God as the only proper object of worship. Now do we in the public and private acts which we perform under the name of religion, at all times recognize the fact that we are worshiping God ? Is it not a fact that of the vast multitude of formal worshipers, only a few are real worshipers? What religion, it may be asked, is there in much that goes by that name? We atten(H'hurch on Sabbath, go through the forms of worship, but the idea that we are worshiping God never enters our minds. What recognition of God is there in this? None at all. We may call it what we please, but it is not practical religion. Let any one ask himself the question, "IIow much of all that I do under tlie form of religion is for the glory of God?" and if honest, he will be astonished at his own answer. Much that bears the name of religious worship is nothing but the veriest mockery. [Original.] PAUL A SI) BARNABAS. On one occasion Paul and Barnabas had a serious difficulty. While at Antioch, Paul proposed to Barnabas that they visit the different cities in which they had preached. To this Barnabasassented. A disagreemen t, however, sprung up as to who should accompany them. Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. Paul thought it was not proper to fni-o Jnlm with them, because he had left them at Pamphylia. The contention was sharp. Both became angry and saitl hard things. More than this, they separated. Some commentators attempt to explain this affair so as to exculpate both Paul and Barnabas. This they fail to do to the satisfaction of every one. No doubt both were to be blamed. IIow could this be ? Were not both Paul and Barnabas inspired apostles, and if so how could it be that they became involved in a sharp contention and separated ? There is really no difficulty about the affair. No conflict between what is here stated in the Scriptures and anything elsewhere stated. Paul and Barnabas were only men, and like other men, they sometimes, 110 doubt, often sinned. They were not at all times so guided by the Holy Spirit as to prevent them from acting and speaking unadvisedly. They were not always in that particular state or condition which wc ""ii 'Phic novfip wns elnimed for van iiio^uvvt* Xing ??VT v* ?? any of the prophets or apostles. When under the influence of the Iloly Spirit they, as the mouth-piece of the Spirit, uttered only the truth, but at other times they were only good men. One of the peculiarities of the Bible is that the sins and faults of those eminent servants of God are not concealed. Painful revelations are often made. Moses and David and Paul are exposed to human gaze, as men of like passions with the rest of the human family. Like the rest of us they were sinners by nature and sinners by practice, and all the goodness that was in them was the work of (tod's Holy Spirit. | IgisrcHitttcous ffeadiug. The Colored Citizens of Ohio.?Gra: ham Den well, a well known lawyer and pol! itician, has recently returned to Cleveland | from a tour through Ohio, where he has ! been organizing equal rights leagues among the colored people. He says that the colored race in Ohio is worked up to an extraordinary pitch on the subject of civil rights. New leagues are springing up daily, and it is estimated that within a few months there will be 1100 leagues in existence, as one will be founded in every township. The leagues will be permanent, and will be devoted to the general interests of the colored race, for wnieh purpose an annual convention will be held for discussion. "A so-called civil rights bill has been passed by the Legislature," said he, "but Ohio colored people recognize it as buncombe. The bill is full of high-sounding phrases and promises, but does not cover the ground. The penalty for its violation, $100, is entirely too light for its enforcement. The okl* hill provided a penalty of $1,500, of which $500 went to the injured person. This is the amount it should be now. The present penalty, of which $100 is the maximum, will be gladly paid by certain hotel-keepersand others who wish to refuse accommodations to colored patrons. "Another point the leagues will insist on is the repeal of the black laws on the Ohio statutes; the law making it a penitentiary offence for a negro to marry a white woman ; the section permitting separate schools, and the use of the word "white" in the Constitution. All these must be repealed, and the negro put on perfect equality with the white man. These leagues will make the colored people in Ohio a unit on social, moral and political questions." The Gubernatorial Canvass.?The probability that Governor Thompson will be re-nominated and re-elected without opEosition has been pretty generally conceded y the newspapers of the State, but it comes to us by underground telegraph that such is by no means a certainty. 2Sot that there is such opposition to Governor Thompson as to make his re-nomination an uncertainty, but that Congressman Evins, of the 4th District, will certainly decline a re-election, and that the fitting thing will likely be done in calling Hugh S. Thompson to the position. Col. Evins has been a worthy representative, but the state of his health precludes his undertaking another term, and the 4th District could not do better than elect Col. Thompson as its representative. His qualification is unquestionable, being an advanced thinker, in the very prime of life, and calculated to serve a series of terms in Congress with honor to himself and credit to his District, whereas, should he be reelected to the Executive office for a second term, he might then be relegated to private life by force of circumstances. Thus it can be readily seen why his influential friends should rather seek to place him in Congress than for a second term in the gubernatorial chair.?Anderson Journal. Wiiy Do We Dream??A Dr. Granville writes to the London Times: "Many persons who are not by habit dreamers, are dreaming a great deal just now and wondering why they do so. The answer is very simple. When cold weather sets in suddenly and is much felt at night, the head, which is uncovered, has the blood supplied to it driven from the surface to the deep parts, notably the brain, the organ of the mind. The results are light sleeps and dreams. The obvious remedy is to wear a night-cap or wrap the head warmly, at least while the cold weather lasts. I believe we of this generation suffer more from brain troubles than our predecessors, because we leave the head exposed at night, and the blood-vessels of our cerebral organs are seldom unloaded. Brevity.?Learn to be brief. Long visits, long stories, long exhortations, and long prayers seldom profit those who have to do with them. Life is short. Time is short. Moments are precious. Learn to condense, abridge and intensify. We can endure many an ache and ill if it is soon over, while even pleasure grows insipid, and pain intolerable, if they are protracted beyond the limits of reason and convenience. Learn to be brief. Lop off branches; stick to the main fact in your case. If you pray, ask for what you would receive, and get through ; if you speak tell your message, and hold your peace ; boil down two words into one, and three into two. Always learn to be brief.?Scottish American Journal. Why 11k IIad Never Seen the Kind. Tn Havana, says the Philadelphia Prens, it is illegal to criticise, even in a friendly spirit, the actions of the king. Soon after the termination of the Franco-German war, a story was told of a meeting in the streets of Munich between the king of Bavaria and a wounded soldier, during which the king, finding that he was not recognized, expressed his surprise. "IIow could I know your majesty ?" said the soldier, in explanation. "You never go to the army, and 1 never go to the plav." To the publication of this anecdote may probably be attributed the determination made by the king not to tolerate remarks of any kind on his private movements. Amusing Figure Work.?'The following use of figures will afford some amusement. To illustrate, suppose you are born May 9th, which would be the fifth month and ninth day as tens and units?5.9; now multiply by 2, add 5, multiply by 50, add your age, subtract 305, add 115. Point off the two figures at the right and you will have your age, the figures on the left will be the month and the day you were born. An Assistant to Nature.?A man stepped into a drug store the other day and 1. a<-4- 1 / ? V n n 'c ' Vo f 11 rn I i y I n (f' 1/aiU'U 1UI tl UWl/lJtJ wi a.-* v/i mccn ij ihuu >u<i/,...n Cordial, lie had forgotten the word Neutralizing and certainly substituted a good one, as it assists Nature in bringing the system to its natural condition.?Adp. It has been remarked that there was one thing about Baron Munchausen that should he set down to his credit, although nobody credits anything he says, and that is, that the Baron, never held himself out as a weather prophet. ?k ?orkiUf gjrnjmm. 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Persons who send manuscript to i this office for publication and desire a copy ofthe . same, should make a duolicato. 11 EXECUTOR'S NOTICE, ALL persons having claims against the estate of Mrs. NANCY R. SCIIOOLKY, deceased, . j are notified to present the same at once, properly \ | attested. Those owing said estate will make ' payment to the undersigned. PERRY FERGUSON, Executor. February 28 !) ^ IT STANDS^^M^ HEAD. The Light liuiiiiliig DOMESTIC SEWING MACHINE. THIS is the lightest-running, the sini])lest and tlie best Sewing Machine on the market. It has a high arm, the attachments are all easily worked, and it will do any kind of work, from the lightest to the heaviest, and in as good manner as any other machine. Call and examine the Maehineand learn particulars. We will sell on as liberal terms and at as low prices as any firstclass Machine can be bought; and in addition, will compliment every purchaser with a number of photographs of himself or any other person the purchaser mav designate. PHOTOGRAPHY. I would also inform the public that T am yet making PHOTOGRAPHS in all the various styles. Also, Ferrotypes and other cheaper.styles of pictures. Pictures by the photographic process enlarged, and all work done in the best style of the art at reasonable prices. Gallery on West Liberty street, near the jail. J. R. SCHORR. January Jl '? ti J. ED. JEFFERYS & CO. anEW FURXITIKK STORE. Cottage Furniture, tiOXSLSTINU of Bedroom Suites, of different ) grades. Walnut, Marble-Top and plain Bureaus. Wash Stands and Centre Tables. REDSTEARS A AD LOIXCKS. Walnut and Maple Bedsteads. Sideboard and Dining Boom Safes, Tables, Spring Beds, Mattresses, Lounges and Cradles. CHAIRS. Rocking, Otiice, Parlor, Dining-Room and Children's Chairs. Funeral (*oo<ls. We keep on hand a full stock of Burial Cas kels aiul Cases, ( Jloss White Cases, Children's size. Casket and Coffin Handles, Screws and other Collin Hardware. For sale on reasonable terms. J. EI). JKFFERYS A CO. FOUNDRY AND Machine Shop. THE undersigned would respectfully inform the public that he now has in operation, on his lot on Kind's Mountain Street, a FOUNDRY AND MACHINE SHOP, in which he is prepared to <lo all manner of work in light iron and brass castings, ami general machine work. HEPAIRIXft, Of all kinds, promptly done on short notice. Steam Engines, and agricultural machinery of any kind overhauled ami repaired. Besides,any class of work that may be wanted in his shop, lie will attend any call for repairing stationary engines, doing tiicwork on the premises, thus obviating the necessity of moving the engine. Prices reasonable. Terms, cash on completion of thcwork. EDWAltl) THOMAS. May 10 10 tf CDrsiAl AAArnini^n Pinrr PTnUflPIIIP MlthlLftD LHItr 01 UIVIrtLtllLi A SUREand effectual Remedy for the cure of all Irregularities and disorders of the Stomach und Bowels, whether in children or adults. Promptly relieving Dysentery, Dlarrhrea, Cholera Morbus, Cholera Infuntum, Flux, Griping Pains. Flatulency, Nausea, Acidity of the Stomach, Ileartburn.Slckand Nervous Heudacheund DYSPEPSIA. May be used in all derangements of the Stomach and Bowels from relaxation of tho Intestines or a change of food or water. . 3STOIi3vr-A.IT'S NEUTRALIZING CORDIAL Is as pleasant anil harmless as Blackberry Wine?contains no Opium anil will not constlpato. Specially recommended for Seasickness und Teething Children. German and English Directions on each Bottle. Price 25c. and $1.00. Large size contains six times as much as small. Sold by all Druggists and Dealers in Medicines. THE EXCEL8I0R CHEMICAL CO., Sole Propr'tors, WALHALLA, S. C. U. S. A. SEND A 2c. STAMP FOR LITTLE BOOK. February 14 7 Jnv3 YORKVILLE LIVERY AND FEED STABLES, NEAR THE COURT HOUSE. A RF, now open anil will l>o kept in first-class J\. style with comfortable vehicles of all kinds, good horses and careful drivers. BUGGIES AND PHiETONS. Just received another lot of those nice Cincinnati Leather Trimmed Rnggies, warranted standard work. I sell no inferior work. Come and examine my full stock of vehicles ueiore you purchase. FEEDING. You can have your horses fed as cheap as the cheapest, at the Yorkvillo Livery and Feed Stables. WASTED. 10.000 HUNDLLS of Fodder, :t(M) Hushols of Corn, part in the ear, 2(1(1 Hushels of ()ats, 300 Hushels of Cotton Seed, For which I will pay the highest cash price it delivered soon. F. ] }. SMITH. August 2 31 tf SEXI) FOR PRICE LIST. JIcElrcc's JEWELRY PALACE, . 254 King Street, CHARLESTON, S. C. Largest Stoek. LOWEST PRICES IN THE SOUTH. Repairing A Specially. SEND ME YOUR WATCHES. j November 22 47 J v Will be mailed pppp to all apf customers of last FllLC year without ordering it. It contains illustrations, prices, descriptions and directions for planting all Vegetable and Flower Seeds, Plants, etc. Invaluable to all* D.M. FERRY & C0.?5S. December 13 5 (J 3m* ! ~ GERMAN KAI.MT 4 ND other FERTILIZERS. tons of gen! /V nine Merman Kainit, direct importation, and all other FERTILIZERS, for sale bv HERMAN BULWINK LE, Kerr's Wharf, Charleston, S. ('. I January 3 7 3m j WANDO! WA] WAWDO! WAI Auunoi tiate Especially FIELD CROPS A ACID PHOSPHATE Af Of hig j GENUINE GERMAN KAINIT, PHOSPHATE FLOA AND ALL FERTI I .ui.irnuM. VTJA\TT? |{ ir AflCKR. Presideni PostolTice, Charleston, S, C. HEF January 3 DR. HOLT'S DYJ FOR all eases of Dyspepsia and the allied and ache, Heartburn! Chronic Dysintery, and fo You Can Be Cured, as J By the use of I)r. IIOLT'S Prescription. This dorscments. It has afforded permanent relief t DISAPPOINTED in this, though you may have Com i'troiji.kh-C Dr. P. 11. Holt, Eufaula, Ala.: Dear Sir: I am indigestion by the use of your Dyspeptic Elixii tried almost every remedy known for my disea small bottles of your remedy before I was entin has been three years since I used your pre pa rath Many as good evidences can be shown. If yon Price 75 cents. For sale by November 22 GARRY IRON RC Manufacturers of all kinds of _ IRON ROOFING CRIMPED AM) CORRFGATED SIDING. JjfjraF Iron Tile or Shingle. FIREPROOF DOORS, SIll'TTERS it'.. IflEiBffltlSraH THE LARGEST MANUFACTURERS < .fel- L. M. Crist, Yorkville, S. C., will take o May 10 3 u a G R Bradfield's Female Regulator 7.s aSpecial Remedy for all diseases pertaining to the womb, and any intelligent woman can cure herself by following the directions. It is especially efflcaolousin cases of suppressed or painful Menstruation, the Whites, and Partial Prolapsus. It affords immediate relief and permanently restores tKp Xfenqtmiftl PuneH .11. Asaromedvto be used during that critical period known as " Change of Life," this invaluable preparation has no rival I Holmes' Liniment Is an INESTIMABLE BOON to all child-bearing women; a real blessing to suffering females; a true MOTHER'S FRIENEK When applied two or three months before confinement it will produce a safe and quick delivery, ontrol pain, and alleviate the usual agonizing suffering beyond tho power of language to express I Pryor's Ointment Is a sure and speedy cure for Blind or Bleeding Piles, Sores, Ulcers, Tumors, Fistula, Burns, Coras, Felons, Sore Nipples, etc. Its effects are simply marvelous, and it is an inexpressible blessing t > all afflicted with either of the above complaints. Try it! For circulars, testimonials, and full particulars. address Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer of heee THREE GREAT REMEDIES I J. BBADTIBLD, No. 108 South-PryorSt, att^wta_ For Saleby Dr. JOHN C. KUYKENDAL. August 23 34 Iv STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, County of York. WHEREAS JAMES B. HEATH has applied to me for Letters of Administration, on all and singular the goods and chattels, rights and credits of I). R. S. BLAKE, late of the county aforesaid, deceased. These are, therefore, to cite and admonish all and singular the kindred and creditors of the said deceased, to he and appear before me, at our next Probate Court for the said county, to be holdeu at York Court House, on the 22ND DAY OF MARCH, A. 1)., 1SS4, at 11 o'clock, A. M., to shew cause, if any, why the said Administration should not be granted. Riven under my hand and seal, this 3rd ,UV ?j March, in the year of our Lord ope oiousand eight hundred and eighty-four, a?*f111 the losth vent-of American Independence. J. BEAT1** WILLIAMS, Judge of Probate. March 6 1? ?t _ THE STAT*4" til' SOUTH CAROLINA, County of* York. * *rtIEREA5. J. II. WYLIE has applied to me f v for Letters of Administration on all and singular the goods and chattels, rights and credits of THOS. <?. WYLIE, late of the county aforesaid, deceased. These are, therefore, to cite and admonish all and singular the kindred and creditors of the said deceased, to bo and appear before mo, at our next Probate Court for the said county, to be holdmi uf York Court House on the22ND DAY OF MARCH, A. I)., 1884, at 11 o'clock, A. M., to shew cause, if any, why the said Administration should not be granted. Given under inv hand and seal, this 3rd dav of March, in tiie year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and eighty-four, and in the Irtsth vear of American Independence. J. RHATTY WILLIAMS. Judge of Probate. March (i 10 2t TELEGRAPH OPERATOR'S WONDERFUL CURE During the last five years I have been troubled greatly with Wood Poisoning. Ilad scalp sores, sores in toy nostrils and ears. I tried everything known to the medical fraternity, without relief By accident I heard of S s. S. ami commenced taking it, gradually increasing the dose. After taking four and a half I Kittles, an eruption appeared on my face and body Where the old sores were th" skin all peeled "IT and the sores discharged freely for three days or more, after which they healed nicely, leaving the skin smooth. In two weeks I gained twenty-five noiiinls. and now feel like a neiv man. Three months fntvf passed pi nee 1 qml talcing S. S. S., ami there m no symptom of Die disease rcinntniu". I am certain thul'l ion permanently en re J, and that S. S S did it It siands utieqiialed as a remedy, and is a bless ing to those unfortunate capes (as I was) who will take it. JNO. S. TAGGART. Salamanca. N. Y Remarkable Results. I have had remarkable success with Swift's Spci cillc : have cured several cases permanently in a \cry short lime. One case which 1 am now treating was given up to die. and after Using lliree bottles is so far recovered that i think one more bottle will cure her The most remarkable case of all was a lady with niedulary cancer of the womb, for whom I had no hone whatever. After using ne bottle I am I satisfied she will soon he cured. J. WVLIE t^UiLLIAX. M D.. Easleys, S. C. $1000 Reward will be paid to any Chemist who will tlnd, on theunalysis of 100 bottles S. S. S., one particle of Mercury, Iodide Potassium, or any mineral substance. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga. Write for a copy of the littlo book-free. For Sale by Dr. JOHN C. KUYKEXDAL. I August 23 34 ]y STDO! W^VjSTDO! WMDO! VDO ! xl I^ei-tilizei** r adapted for OF AI,L, KINDS. lso 4D DISSOLVED BONE, :li crade. ASH ELEMEI^B1, TS, COTTON SEED MEAL, LIZER SUPPLIES. t and General Agent, 7 Exchange Street, rear of IN DON BROTHERS, Agents, Yorkville, S. 0. 1 3m 5PEPTIC ELIXIR, . resulting evils of Constipation, Jaundice, Head* r Asthma, when coupled with indigestion. lany Others Have Been, remedy comes with complete and satisfactory eno many confirmed sufferers. You will NOT BE ! been always heretofore. Jen'erai/s Office, Atlanta, Ga., July 9,1883. pleased to report that I have been entirely cured of \ I was induced by a friend to try it after having ,se, without the slightest effect. I took only three ply well. I suffered several years, and although it m I havehad no return of it/ Yours truly, W. A. WRIGHT. CoiiiD. Gen.. State of Ga. i will see them, ask for Dr. Holt's Dyspepsia Elixir. MAY A MAY, Yorkville, S. C. J. B. JOHNSON, Rock Hill.S. ('. 47 4m ' >OFING COMPANY, IRON ORE PAINT An<l Cement. 132 T0 158 MERWIN STREET Cleveland, O. Send for Circular and Price )F IRON ROOFING IN THE WORLD. rders for the above roofing. 0 ly C. & L. NARROW GAUGE RAILROAD. SCHEDULE of Mail and Passenger Trains, from Hickory, N. C., to Chester, S. C., taking effect at 12 o'clock, Noon, Sunday, January 13th, 1884. Standard'of time, clock in telegraph office at Chester. GOING SOUTH. Leave Hickory, 8.15 A. M. Arrive at Conover 8.3(1 A. M. Arrive at Newton 8.45 A. M. Leave Newton 8.50 A. M. Arrive at Maiden, 9.20 A. M. Arrive at Lincolnton, 10.10 A. M. Leave Lincolnton, 10.20 A. M. Arrive at Hardin's, 10.47 A. M. Arrive at Dallas, 11.15 A. M. Arrive at Gastonia, 11.30 A. M. Leave Gastonia, 11.40 A. M. Arrive at Pleasant Ridge, 11.55 A. M. Arrive at Crowder's Creek, 12.03 P. M. A T* H /-? 1.) 10 1) -\f Arrive ai isowiing urreun, i~"j ? Arrive at Clover, 12.25 P. M. Leave Clover, 12.30 P. M. Arrive at Yorkville, 1.07 P. M. Leave Yorkville, 1.15 P. M. Arrive at Gutliriesville, 1.40 P. M. Arrive at McConnellsville, 1.48 P. M. Arrive at Lowrysville, 2.07 P. M. Arrive at Chester*. 2.35 P. M. GOING NORTH. Leave Chester, 5.40 P. M. Arrive at Lowrysville 0.12 P. M. Arrive at McConnellsville, 6.33 P. M. Arrive at Gutliriesville, 6.43 P. M. Arrive at Yorkville, 7.10 P. M. Leave Yorkville, 7.20 P. M. Arrive at Clover, 8.00 P. M. Leave Clover 8.05 P. M. Arrive at Bowling Green 8.18 P. M. Arrive at Crowder's Creek 8.29 P. M. Arrive at Pleasant Ridge, 8.36 P. M. Arrive at Gastonia, 8.52 P. M. Leave Gastonia, 9.10 P. M. Arrive at Dallas, 9.26 P. M. Arrive at Hardin's, 9.52 P. M. Arrive at Lincolnton, 10.20 P. M. Leave Lincolnton, 10.30 P. M. Arrive at Maiden, 11.15 P. M. Arrive at Newton, 11.50 P. M. Leave Newton 12.05 A. M. Arriveat Conover 12.14 A. M. Arrive at Hickory 12.35 A. M. D. CARDWELL, Gen. Passenger Agent. James Mason, Div. Supt. January* 17 3 tf THE VALLEY MUTUAL Life Association OF VIRGINIA. Homo Office, Staunton, Va. Hon A if- STUART, President. CHARLES L. COOKE, Secretary. Introduced in South Carolina 1st of March, 1883. Since that time near one million (81,000,000) Insurance has been written in this State. ADVANTAGES. CHEAPNESS ANI) SECURITY COMBINED. To carry a Policy of 81,000.00, will cost a man 21 vears old about' 80.00 a year; a man 45 years old. 1 percent., or 810.00 a year; a man (>() years old -h per cent., or $25.00 a year. EVERY POLICY Guaranteed for its full face value. Guarantee fund capitalized and controlled by law. POLICY LIMIT S3,000.00. We write, however, any amount up to $J,000.(K) in all healthy localities of the State. Active, reliable traveling agents wanted. Any further information can be had by addressing either of the above officers, or the State Agent, Only 29 Assessment* .Made in 5 Years. S. E. MILLER, Box KG, Columbia, 8. C. Gen. E. M. LAW, Agent, Yorkville, S. C. October 11 29 tf JOB PRINTING. /"V WING to our superior facilities with the best Yf machine presses, an abundance of type and tirst-elass appointments throughout our office, we are prepared to execute all manner of JOB PRINTING in superior style, and at prices that will compare with New York or Philadelphia charges for the same quality of work and materials. We have recently made a reduction in prices for the following classes of work, to which we invite the attention of business men : -ISJLJUJU HJtJAJJS. For 500 For 1000 Half-sheet Bill Heads, $3.50 $(>.00 Fourth-sheet Bill Heads, 2.25 3.50 Sixth-sheet Bill Heads, 2.00 3.00 Monthly statements at same price of sixth-sheet oill heads. We will till an order for bill heads, giving any desired number of either size of sheet at proportionate prices. LETTER HEADS. For 500 For 1000 Commercial Note, $2.15 $3,25 Packet Note 2.25 3.50 Letter (largo size) 3.00 5.00 For the above work we use a superior quality of paper, and guarantee entire satisfaction in ever v instance, j \Ve also give special attention to the printing ' of Briefs, Arguments and Points and Authori! ties, which we furnish strictly according to the requirements of the Justices of the Supremo Court, and in proof reading exercise the utmost I care to ensure accuracy. We are prepared to "furnish all other kinds of printing, from a visiting card to a large volume, and will be pleased to furnish estimates for any stvle of work desired. Address, L. M. GRIST, Yorkville, S. C, November 30 48 tf \KW BARBER 811 OP. J AMES REESE, late of Columbia, Practical Barber, respectfully informs the citizens of Yorkville and vicinity that he has opened a Shop two doors below the Yorkville (Rose's) Hotel, where he will be pleased to wait upon all who desire the services of a first-class Barber. Delightful Shampooing, Elegant Hair Cutting and Pleasant Shaving. November 8 45 6m* ""cISattel mortgages, MORTGAGES of Real Estate, and Titles to Real Estate. For sale at the ENQUIRER OFFICE. August ! 32 tf