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Humor# us flepartmrut. THE WANT OF ANCESTRY. Mr. and Mrs. Boggs were sitting by the evening fire. Mrs. Boggs was busy with her sewing and Mr. Boggs was reading about the reception of the Steubens, in the Commercial. "Pshaw!" exclaimed Mr. B., throwing the paper aside with aa expression of extreme dissatisfaction. "Why, what is the matter, Mr. Boggs?" asked his wife, raising her eyes from her work, with mild surprise. "Matter enough !" returned Boggs. "Why couldn't some of my ancestors have done something ?" "Done something ! Didn't they do something? I never knew that your ancestors lived without doing something. There was your great, great grandfather I've heard you tell about ; they had him in jail in England for doing something, I've forgotten precisely what." "That ain't what I'm talking about," said Boggs, testily. "I mean if my ancestors had distinguished themselves in some way I might have been of some account now instead of being plain Boggs." "But ain't you of some account, Mr. Boggs ? Ain't you invited every day or so to sign some petition or another, and haven't you been secretary of a primary meeting in your ward ?" asked Mrs. B., in a little glow of pride. "Well, that don'tcount," said Boggs, waiving these honors aside with a sweep of the hand, "it's a renowned ancestor that I want; a Boggs that has done something to make his descendants famous through all time; a great general, or something like that." "But, my dear," said Mrs. B., a bright idea striking her, "your family is distinguished, come to think." "The Boggs distinguished ? Nonsense." "No nonsense about it. Didn't you tell ine once there was Irish blood in your veins?" "I believe there is a little." "Well, then," said Mrs. B., triumphantly, "can't you trace your pedigree to the bogs of old Ireland ?" Boggs went off to bed without saying another word.? Cincinnati Saturday Night. GOOD MORNING, SIR. The family had only lately moved into the neighborhood. A day or two after their arrival the head of the family went to the grocer in the neighborhood and asked the price of condensed milk. "Fifteen cents," said the proprietor. "Fifteen devils," exclaimed the customer; "why, man alive, I don't want to buy a dozen cans, but only one. What do you ask for half a can at wholesale figures?" "Never sell half a can." "I reckon you never sell anythiug, if you make up your goods in that way. Suppose I take a whole can, will you come down to a dime." "Fifteen cents is the usual price." "That may be with unreliable, transient customers, but I am an old citizen of Galves ton, and the store thai gets my permanent trade J ./'will have to enlarge in six months. Say a L' dime, and throw in a pound or two of soda crackers, and its a whack." "Do you buy a good deal in the course of a year ?" asked the proprietor, with a sneer. "Do I buy a good deal ? I should say I did. Why, it won't be more than two months before I'll buy a box of matches. The box I'm using now is more than half gone, and I only got it last February, too. Say a dime for the condensed milk and one of those stale watermelons thrown in as a sorter inducement, and you can put these two nickle3 in your burglar-proof safe." "Fifteen cents is the lowest price." "I wish you could see my blacking brush. It can't hold out over Christmas, and then I am bound to negotiate for a new one. Throw one box of blacking in with the condensed milk, and its a transaction." "I won't do it." "All right! You won't do it. I'll just keep my eye on you. I'll bet your stock is insured for twice what it's worth, and you are going to have a fire pretty soon. When a merchant don't care to build up a trade, he is fixing to fail or swindle somebody somehow. Good morning, sir. A Scene In the Ohio Legislature.? Michael Baldwin, the irrepressible and incorrigible, was no more dignified, abstemious, or moral in his position as Speaker of the first Ohio House of Representatives, than he had beqji in former years or lesser stations. He presided over the Chamber in 1803, 1804, and 1805. It is a matter of tradition that for his own pecuniary benefit, and for the entertainment of those among the legislators who had a penchant for gaming, he established in his rooms the game of "vingt-et-un," himself acting as banker and dealer, and as D # # > a matter of course, winning more frequently than any of the other players. On one occasion, after much drinking and a late sitting at the gambling table, Baldwin found himself in possession not only of all the money of his companions, but of many of their watches. In the morning the House of Representatives was found to be without a quorum ; but Baldwin, accustomed to heavy drinking and late hours, was in his place back of the Speaker's desk. Rapping savagely with bis gavel, he demanded the roll-call of the House, and then sent the sergeantat-arms out with orders to bring in the delinquent members. After an hour or so that functionary returned, followed by about a dozen members of the Ohio Legislature, whose blood-shot eyes, suffused faces, unsteady, shambling steps, and general air of sbamefacedne3s indicated the late hours they had kept, and their heavy indulgences. With much austerity of manner, Baldwin reprimanded the tardy members, reminded them of the cost to which the infant State was subjected by the payment of their per dims, and was proceeding to further elaborate his censure on their late arrival and the consequent delay of legislation, when one of the delinquents, exasperated beyond control,cried out, "Hold on there, Mr. Speaker, hold on ! How could we tell what time it was, when the Speaker of the House had all of our watches ?" A Witty Answer Turneth Away Bores.?The man who travels on the railroad and sits down by the side of lone females while laboring under the impression that he recognizes a likeness in their faces to his wife's aunt's cousin, met his match on one of the roads in this vicinity lately. He sat down in the half of a seat, the other half of which was occupied by a pleasant faced young lady. His first question was: "Pardon me, miss, but is your name James ? I have a.cousin of that name, whom you greatly resemble." "No, sir," was the reply, "my name is not James. But, pardon me, is your name Zinc or Copper?" "Zinc or Copper? "No, ma'am," said the astonished man. "What led you to suppose I had such names ?" "Excuse me," was the quiet reply, "but I thought you must be first cousin to a brass foundry." The man fell over two seats and kicked a bird cage half way down the car in his haste to get into the smoker, while the young lady smiled a gentle smile behind her handkerchief. It was a proof of the old adage, that a witty answer turneth away bores. SKif~ "Mother," said a fair-haired urchin, "I don't want to go to Sunday-school; I want to go fishing." "But the fish won't bite on Sunday, my son. They are good and go to Sunday-school." "Well," responded the probable future President, "I'll risk it anyway ; may be there's some that's like me." !?fa ,f?rm anfl <fiwsidc. j RECIPE FOR ROASTING A TURKEY, i Housewives may find the following old j fashioned Nev England formula useful in pre- j , paring roast turkey for Christmas dinners : : "The turkey should be well siDged and j ! freed from "pin-feathers" and thoroughly : drawn by opening one side just below the 1 ! breast bone. Be sure to take everything out j that is inside, not forgetting the parts lying between the . bs or the "soul." .Wipe dry , j after washing well in cold water. Then dip : j the turkey two seconds into boiling water and i immediately two seconds into ice-water. This will give it a very plump appearance. Cut i ; the neck off close to the body, leave the skin ; j longer, draw it over the neck and tie ; also | tie the legs close to the sides, having cut off ! the first joint. Fasten the wings to the sides ! with fine skewers, having cut off the pinions, j Put the gizzard, liver, heart and neck to boil ! in a quart of water; allow two hours and a | quarter to roast a turkey weighing ten pounas. 1 If the specimen happen to be a venerable one, i boil it one hour or more before roastiug. i Baste with salt and water once, then cover j with lumps of butter and afterwards baste \ with the drippings. When nearly done dredge well with flour aud baste with butter. "The Dressing.?Take three pints of bread crumbs for a medium-sized turkey ; chop finely, with one-quarter pound of salt pork, a good lump of butter, salt, pepper-sauce and savory or marjorura, and break in two or three eggs to make it of the right consistency. Fill both the breast and body and sew up. Rich mashed potatoes also make a good stuffing "Oyster dressing.?Use oysters without their liquor and just bread-crumbs enough to make it of proper consistency; a blade of mace and a little pepper and salt. "The Gravy.?Having boiled the giblets in a quart of water until tender, strain the broth thus obtained into a dripping-pan, having removed the turkey. Take the liver and mash it very fine with the back of a spoon and return it to the gravy. Then chop very fine the heart and gizzard and add to the gravy, and thicken with browned flour; stir j 1 and season wpII ; boil five minutes." When a turkey is rather small for dinner | | it can be very deliciously "peaced out" by a | few strings of sausage inturned and roasted with it. Th? is called in England, "The Alderman in C) .ins." Clearing the Garden.?The season of growth is at i n end. There has been in many cases a full si pply of all the products of the garden, and lot a day has passed from the time the first radishes are pulled or the early peas are picked until the end of the season but what the dinner table i*9 loaded with all the desired dishes of fresh products of the garden. Other gardens have been treated differently and the results are far from satisfactory. At the close of the season the garden is a wilderness of weeds and is a shame ful illustration of how a rich soil will cover itself with vegetation when left to itself. If the tender plants designed for the pot are not cared for in this strife for the possession of the garden soil they will go to the wall and ; in their place will grow the more than useless weeds, to ripen a full crop of seeds and thus | stock the soil for future conquests and more j extended trouble. Thousands and thousands of farmers have j their gardens, as it were, before their eyes at J this time, and what is the lesson that they j teach ? Is it not that weeds and wisdom do ! not grow together? If a man who has let his garden take care j of itself and thereby become a source of loss j to him will look the ground all over and resolve to have such a garden no more, then the failure is turned into success. It may be almost worth the while to grow a crop of weeds in the garden for one season, that the impression of the value of good gardeuing may be so deep that it will not allow of such j neglect again. The experience is dearly bought, however, and there should be a cheap- [ er method of gaining the information. "Clearing the garden" should never mean the mowing down of weeds, their gathering together and burning; but such a clearing is vastly better than none at all. If your garden is of I this sort, clear it and save trouble in the ! future. Weed seeds in garden soil untilled, ' means poor crops or none at all, except a hundred fold return of pestiferous seeds.?Farmers' Review. Eggs as Wholesome Food.?Would it j not be wise to substitute more eggs for meat j in our daily diet? About one-third of the I weight of an egg is solid nutriment. This is I more than can be said of meat. There are no bones, no tough pieces that have to be laid ! aside. A good egg is made up of ten parts ! shell, sixty parts white, and thirty parts yolk. ! The white of an egg contains sixty-six per j centum water, the yolk fifty-two per centum. , Practically, au egg is animal food, and yet j there is none of the disagreeable work of the I butcher necessary to obtain it. The vegeta- i rians of England use eggs freely, and mauy ' of these men are eighty and ninety years old, | j and have been remarkably free from illness, j j Eggs are best when cooked four minutes. \ j This takes away the animal ta6te that is offen- j | sive to some, but does not harden the white or ! i yolk so as to make them hard to digest. An j j egg, if cooked very hard, i3 difficult of diges; | ' tion, except by those of stout stomachs; such ! i eggs should be eaten with bread and masti- i j cated very finely. An egg spread on toast is j ! food fit for a king, if kings deserve any better j | food than anybody else, which is doubtful, i Fried eggs are less wholesome than boiled j ones. An egg dropped in hot water is not ! j only a clean and handsome but a delicious j j morsel. Most people spoil the taste of their j i eggs by adding pepper and salt. A little ; sweet butter is the best dressing. Eggs con- : : tain much phosphorus, which is supposed to 1 | be useful to those who use their brains much. ' : Poultry Revieu\ Feeding Hay from the Stack.?A cor- j respondent of the Country Gentleman writes: i i A careful observer is frequently surprised at i ! the wanton wastefulness of many farmers, j Such waste occurs more noticeably in the . ; manner of feeding, perhaps, than iu an}' oth- j S er branch of farm work. For this reason I | would like to refer to wbat appears to me a j shiftless practice?that of feeding hay from 1 j the stack upon the meadow. Farmers are ' i generally careful to save the entire crop of | hay. Even after hay is pitched from the ! windrow or hay-cock, the horse rake is put: j in motion, aud the rakings are cared for. j Thus there is a neatly finished job, and the hay is all saved. But there is not the same gen- ' eral care in feeding. If it pays to be so very careful to save hay when we are making it, there is no reason why we should not be very j careful to avoid wastefulness in feeding it. It always seems to me that the feeding of hay i upon the ground involves a great waste. If one feeds out of doors it would be well to ! provide boxes or racks. There are those in j this section who have comfortable bams, and yet persist in > ceding on the meadows. There j is less waste of food and manure when cattle are fed in well-arranged stables ; there is less exposure and better health. The tramping of ground in the warm, open weather which frequently occurs in our winter seasons, robs the soil of much vitality. These points are severally opposed to the practice of feeding upon the meadows in winter. | 5*3?" Liquid ammonia is the most powerful and useful agent for cleaning silk stuffs and hats, and for neutralizing acids. Iu this latter case it is often endugh to expose the spots to the vapor of ammonia, which makes them ! disappear entirely. 1 ipscenaneows paling.; The Fittest.?When the AtlaBtic Express train over the Central road reached Niles the other day a Detroit corarrtercial traveler boarded the train to find every seat taken. In the centre of one coach one seat was occupied hy two satchels, and another by an overcoat and hat, while the owner, of the articles was in the smoking car. The Detroit- ] er gathered up all the baggage and placed it < on the wood-box and occupied the seats with < his own, and he had just comfortably settled > when the late occupant returned from his smoke. He saw what had transpired, and he 1 was white with anger as he began : i "Who moved ray baggage?" "I did," was the prompt reply. , "Sir! I represent the wholesale crockery house ofBlauk & Blank, New York, and I?" 1 "I knew it?saw your name ou the bag- 1 gage," interrupted the other. "Haven't you seen the papers to day . , "No, sir!" , "I thought not. Well, your house has failed for 8288,000?can't pay twenty cents on the dollar?bad bust?no time for you to spread over two seats?crowd in some where or stand by the stove, and when we get to Detroit I'll help get you a pass home. Sorry for you, and all that, but our house is rated A 1, has a reserve of 875,000 in mortgages, and the survival of the fittest is a principle older than the hills. The Secret of Genius.?"They talk," said Tom Marshall to an intimate friend, "of my astonishing bursts of eloquence, and doubtless imagine that it is my genius bubbling over. It is nothing of the sort. I'll tell you how I do it. I select a subject and study it up. When I have mastered it fully I write a speech on it. Then I take a walk aud come back and revise and correct. In a few days I subject it to another pruning and then recopy it. Nest I add the finishing touches, rouud it off with graceful periods and commit to memory. Then I speak it in the fields, in my father's lawn, and before my mirror until gestures and delivery are Derfectr. It sometimes takes me six weeks or r two months to get up a speech. When I have one prepared I come to town and go to drinking. I genarally select a court day when there is sure to be a crowd. I am called on for a speech, and am permitted to select my own subject. I seize hold of the baluster, or railing, and .confirm the impression ! that I am very drunk, and speak my piece. I 1 It astonishes the people, as I intended it i should, and then go away marveling at my | amazing power of oratory. They call it geI nius, but it represents the hardest kind of I work." My Mother.?Children, look in those ' eyes, listen to that dear voice, notice the feelI ing of even a single touch that is bestowed j upon you by that gentle hand ! Make much | of it while yet you hove that most precious of | all good gifts?a loving mother. Read the j unfathomable love of those eyes, the kind I anxiety of that tone and and look, however slight your pain. In after life you may have I friends?fond, dear, kind friends?but never ! will you have again the inexpressible love and gentleness lavished upon you which none but a mother bestows. Often do I sigh, in my struggles with the hard, uncaring world for the sweet, deep security I felt when, of an even iug, nestling in her bosom, i listened to some quiet tale suitable to ray age read in her tender and untiring voice. Never can I forget her sweet glances cast upon me when I appeared asleep, never her kiss of peace at night. Years have passed away since we laid her beside ray father in the old churchyard ; yet sti11 her voice whispers from the grave, and her eye watches over me as I visit spots long since hallowed to the memory of my mother.?Lord Macaulay. Fair Play for the Hog.?If our forefathers had studied the hog with any closeness, we would have been spared the sayings of: "Sel6sh as a hog," "hungry as a pig," and "he acts like a regular hog," etc. To begin with, the hog is not a selfish creature. Two hogs will agree about as well as two men ; and a hog who was taken along on a steamboat excursion would have cause to say to his porkers: "You act like men and women." The hog is not a hungry animal. Give him three square meals per day and he is content, while most men must chew, smoke and nibble between meals and have a lunch at bed-time. To "act like a hog," would be to mind one's business, go to bed early and be satisfied with the situation. The hog is not a liar, hypocrite or dead-beat. He acts on the square, is always as represented, and in disposition he has few equals in the human race. He has been misunderstood and abused, and it is time that his frieuds rallied to give him fair play.?Detroit Free Press. Want of Punctuality.?It is astonishing how many people there are who neglect punctuality. Thousands have failed in life from this cause alone. It is not only a serious offense in itself, but it is the fruitful parent of numerous vices, so that be who becomes the victim of it gets involved in the coils from which it is impossible to escape. It makes the merchaut wasteful of time, it saps the business, the hopes, and reputation of the lawyer, and it injures the prospect of the me-; chanic. In a word, there is no profession,! nor a station in life, which is not liable to the j canker of the destructive habit. Many and j many a time has the failure of one man to j meet his obligations brought on the ruiu of a J score of others. Thousands remain poor all i their lives, who,, if they were more faithful to j their word, would secure a large run of cus- J torn, and make their fortunes. Be punctual! if you would succeed. The Rain.?An important property of air; is that as it becomes warmer it absorbs water j or vapor, and hides it within itself, so to j speak; as it gives out the water again. The air in a room 20 feet square and 10 feet high j when heated from 32 degrees to only the j temperate heat of 70 degrees, secretes within j itself 31.5 pints of water. A current of warm air when cooled by any means, as by meeting ; a current of cold air, gives out its secreted j moisture; the little water atoms given outj become visible in the form of clouds and . when there is much water thus let loose the j little drops keep uniting until so heavy as to ! fall down as rain. So the warm air gathers | up from the earth's surface myriads of watery j particles, carries them heavenward, hidden j unseen in its vast storehouse, until it ehances j to be cooled, and then it drops the particles J back in rain?or snow if cold enough to freeze the drops. GritLs and Spending Money.?Many a girl is careless as to how much money a young i man spends for her. Three and five dollars > for a horse and carriage he can poorly afford, perhaps; yet she will go with him week after ( week with no particular interest in him, unmindful, apparently, whether he earns the money or takes it from his employer's drawer.! ; He takes her to a concert, in going to which j usually, save for her pride and his gallantry,' I a horse car ride for ten cents would be far j j wiser than a carriage ride for several dollars, i 1 A young man respects a young woman all I the more who is careful of the way in which ; he spends his money, and will not permit too much to be used for herself. A thoughtful I ' and well-bred girl will be wise about these J matters.? Woman's Journal. I1 Uncle Moseand Jim Webster on Austin !1 avenue : "I heerd bofe yer parents was dead ; i what did ye git from 'era ?" asked Uncle Mose. j 1 ' Lemme see," said Jim, pensively. "From i1 my fodder I'se got dose heah crooked legs, and from my mudder I inherits a weakness in de chist." i Heading fox the Wlatft. oonduotkd by. BEY. ROBERT LATHAN. [Original ] INCONSISTENCIES. Every one has, if not a clear, certainly a practical notion of what is meant by the word lonsistent, and its opposite, inconsistent. Consistency is said to be a jewel. If so, then, inconsistency must be whatever is the opposite of a jewel. The life of every one is full of inconsistencies. No man is free from them. The inconsistencies, however, of some persons are so well concealed that they are rarely 3een ; while the inconsistencies of others are the only things by which they are enabled to preserve themselves from sinking into hopeless obscurity. Inconsistencies are generally very 3inful in their nature. Some are of rare oc curreuce, while others are witnessed every day. Of this latter kind may be specihed? First. Sabbath breaking by professed Christians. If there is one thing more than any other which distinguishes a truly pious man from a mere professor of religion, it is the observance of the Sabbath. A community without a Sabbath would indicate a community without any evangelical piety. God instituted the Sabbath and commands all men to keep it holy unto him. It was given to man for various purposes. It is a day of rest to the laboring man and beast. It is more than this. It was designed by God as a day in which the Sonl might engage in pions reflections and contemplations to the exclusion of all worldly business aad pursuits. Under New Testament dispensation, the Sabbath is designed to be observed in commemoration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. All the acts of professed Christians, on that day, should be in harmony with such a commemoration. It is inconsistent with professed Christians to devote the Sabbath to worldly sports, recreations, or business, lawful and right on other days. It iB inconsistent for profeseed Christians to engage in idle talk or in reading secular books, or in visiting, or anything else uot in harmony with the nature and design of the Sabbath. Second. It is inconsistent in professed Christians to be continually in a difficulty with some one. The religion of Jesus Christ is a peaceable religion. When Jesus made his will he bequeathed to his people peace. "My peace I give unto you," he eays. Again, Christians are commanded to "live in peace," and "to live peaceably with all men." When Jesus was born angels shouted, "Peace on earth." God delights in peace, and good men delight in it. Satan revels in war. He bates peace. Is it not, then, very inconsistent for those who profess to be the followers of Him who came into the world to establish pence, to be continually wrangling and quarreling? Is this following Jesus ? Whoever heard of Him engaging in petty feuds? Did He ever keep a neighborhood in a broil ? There are no quarrelings, no contentions, no strifes, in Heaven. It is all peace there, and we must become peaceable before we will be admitted to that abode of peace. Five minutes' peace has in it more enjoyment for the soul than a whole lifetime of contention. Jesus Christ is appropriately called the King of Peace. Would it not be a strange thing if his subjects were all wranglers? What a strange sight a peaceable king ruling over subjects who were continually quarreling would present! In such a sight demons would rejoice. To if rwif irmnnaiofonf fnr tVinon IVtin wnrfthin AO IV M.S\JU lUVVUSiWVVU* .V. WI,VWV """ r in the same sanctuary, kneel at the same altar, eat at the same table, and call each other brother, to be continually at strife ? *Do they suppose that this is one of the many ways by which they may exhibit the love of God in their hearts? If they do they are surely deluded. No one ever taught that quarreling was any part of Christianity. To quarrel is unbecoming a man and inconsistent with every principle of Christianity. Third. It is not consistent with the nature of Christianity for an individual to live under the power of the gospel, and at the same time live a prayerless life. One of the evidences that was given of the conversion of Paul was that he prayed. It is strange as well as inconsistent that there are so many who profess to be Christians that do not pray. It is a fact greatly to be deplored that only a few of the multitude who profess to be people of God, even formally worship him in private. They are content to permit the ministers of the gospel to do all the praying. This is surely strange. God commands us to ask and he will give. We rarely hesitate to ask our friends for favors, especially if we know that they are able and willing to give us what we need. Professed Christians claim that God is their friend. They know that he is.able and willing to give them every good and perfect gift. Why not ask him for those blessings which we need ? Are not our prayerless lives inconsistent with our professions ? There are many other inconsistencies which might be mentioned. One more will suffice for the present. It is surely very inconsistent in a professed Christian to be continually violating the law and order of the particular church with which he or she stands connected. Such a course is full of perverseness. Snmp nursnns nppm tn think that it is an evi ~ r~* ?? -- - denne of greatness or smartness to give other persons trouble. They join the church, promise to obey the laws and then proceed forthwith to trample the law of God's house under their feet. Bad men and evil spirits may regard such a course of conduct as smart: but God, holy angels and pious men cannot but regard such acts as painfully inconsistent and glaringly contemptuous of all that is good and praiseworthy. I6T* Who shall preach the word in this pulpit after they have carried you, dear brother, to your "long home?" Who shall guide and train the families of the land after your children have returned to the desolate house from which they have borne you to the grave? Who shall teach and cherish the little ones after your eyes are closed and your voice silenced, to be heard on earth no more? Who shall bear the great trusts of the nation after those who have grown old in faithful service have been laid to rest? Ah, surely the preachers and teachers, the parents i and patriots of the future are now under your hand ! See that you keep your awful jharge in the fear of God I?Evangelical Messenger. S6?~ Service and sacrifice pay when given and made for the elevation of mankind. THE YOMVILLE ENQUIRER. PROSPECTUS FOR 1882. IN issuing our prospectus for 1882, we deem it only necessary to annonnce that the leading feature's which have characterized the editorial conduct of the Yorkville Enquirer for the past quarter of a century will be retained, and what it has been in the past will bo an assurance of what it shall be in the future. The leading J departments of the paper will be retained as heretofore, and they will be conducted with the same > labor and care that have marked our efforts in the past. While the Literary and Miscellaneous fea- ' tures of the Enquirer will be kept, up to the standard which has given the paper a distinctive character, careful attention will also be given to the News department, which will embrace a record of the leading events at the State and Na- < tional Capitals; Congressional and Legislative ] Proceedings: "Scraps and Facts," being a hotch- . Sotch of light current topics; a compend of the j Tews Abroad and at Home ; General Correspon- ' dence; Market Reports: Local Coitnty and State News; Editorial Articles upon appropriate subjects intended to promote the welfare and prosperity of our State and people, which will, we < trust, continue to render the Enquirer a vrel- ( come and entertaining Family Journal. Terms of Subscription--Free of Postage. 1 Single copy, one year ?2 50 Two copies, one year, 4 00 One copy two years, 4 00 PREMIUMS TO CLUB-MAKERS. To club-makers, for the approaching volume, we offer FOUK PREMIUMS for tho four largest clubs, as follows: For the largest club, one Wked Skwino Machine, fancy half-case, with drop leaf and two side-drawers, valued at $:]/>. For the second largest club, one Weed Sewing i Machine, half-case and one drawer, valued at $30. For the third largest club, ono No. 8 Tropic Cooking Stove, and fixtures complete, valued at For the fourth largest club, ono No. 7 Tropic Cooking Stove and fixtures complete, valued at $20. The superior Sewing Machine we ofier as a Premium is the well-known and justly celebrated Weed Machine, manufactured by the Weed Sewing Machine Company, at Hartford, Connecticut. It is adapted to all the wants of family sewing; can be readily comprehended by any one; runs easily; is always ready ; will do any and all kinds of sewing with less changing and fewer extra attachments; is self-adjusting; is a two-thread Machine, making an elastic lockstitch ; and stands solid and firm. The Stoves are made by the Sergeant Manufacturing Company, of Greensboro N. C. They are made of the best Scotch pig metal, with heavier and thicker plate than any other Stove in the market, and consequently will the longer withstand heat and hard usage. They are of a handsome pattern and neat finish, and warranted equal in points of appearance, durability and superior cooking qualities, to any stove manufactured in the Union. Thousands of them are in use in Virginia, North and South Carolina, and they give universal satisfaction. The above Premiums will be delivered to the successful competitors at the Enquirer office, free of charges for freight. CONDITIONS. The four Premiums mentioned above will be awarded on the following conditions: The person getting up the largest club of yearly subscribers to the Enquirer, at $2 00 per annum, for each subscriber, will be entitled to the first choice of one of the above Premiums; the person getting up the second largest club, at the same price, to the second choice; the person getting up the third largest club, to the third choice; and the person getting up the fourth largest club, to the fourth choice. The time forcompleting clubs under the above offer is limited to 1 o'clock P. M., on the FIRST MONDAY OF MARCH, 1882. Competitors may begin to secure subscribers at once?the time of subscription to commence whenever the name is handed in. The money for eacli subscriber is expected to be paid at the time the name is entered on our books, and no name will be counted in competition for a premium until the subscription price has been paid. To persons who make up Cinbs of ten or more names, but who may fail to obtain a premium, we will send the Enquirer one year free ol charge; and to those who send a Club xif twenty or more names, but who may fail to get a premium, we will forward a copy of the Enquirer ovwl ? nnovoar nf U11D J uai 11 DC Ui auu c* WJ'J | vuv juui I VI any weekly newspaper or monthly magazine published in the United States, the publication to be selected by the person entitled to receive it. It is not necessary that the names of a club should all be at the same post office. Names may be taken at any number of places. One name for two years will be equivalent to two names for one year each. All subscriptions must be forwarded to us at the expense of those sending them. We will be responsible for the safe transmission of money only when sent by draft, registered letter, or money order drawn on the Yorkville post-office. In sending names, write plainly, giving county, post office and State. All subscriptions will be discontinued at the expiration of the time paid for. A separate list will be kept for each club-maker, who will be credited with eyery name sent, so that the number returned by any person can be ascertained at a moment's notice. Persons who commence making clnbs, will not be permitted, after the names have been entered upon our books, to transfer the names to another club-maker's list. 028- The time in which additions may be made to clubs, under this proposition, will expire on the FIRST MONDAY OF MARCH, 1882. Therefore, persons who desire the benefit of club rates, must subscribe and pay for the paper before that date, as after the expiration of that time, it will not be furnished for less than $150 unless new clubs are formed. All letters should be addressed to L. M. GRIST,, Yorkville, S. C. November 17,1881. 46 tf GOOD COFFEE. Everybody wants it, but very few get it. bocause most people do not know how to select coffee, or it is spoiled in the roasting or making. To obviate these difficulties has been our study. Thurber's package Coffees are selected by an expert who understands the art of blending various flavors. They are roasted in the most perfect manner (it is impossible to roast well in small quantities), then put in pound packages (in the lean, not ground,) bearingoursignalureas a guarantee of genuineness, and each package contains the Thurber recipe for making good Coffee. We pack two kinds, Thurber's "No. 34," strong and pungent, Thurber's "No. 41," mild and rich. One or the other will suit every taste. They have i three great points, good quality, honest quantity, j reasonable price. Ask your Grocer for Thurber's i roasted Coffee in pound packages, 11 No. 34," or "iVo. 41." Do not be putoff with any otherkind? your own palate will tell you what is best. Where nersons desire it we also furnish the "Ideal" Coffee-pot, the simplest, best and cheap- . est coffee-pot in existence. Grocers who sell our ( Coffee keep them. Ask for descriptive circular. Respectfully, Ac., 1 H. K. & F. B. TIIURBER A CO., ] Importers, Wholosale Grocers and Coffee Roast- 1 ers, New York. I P. S.?As the largest dealers in food products in J the world, we consider it our interest to manufacture only pure and wholesome goods and pack them in a tidy and satisfactory manner. All goods bearing our name are guaranteed to be of superior quality, purr, and wholesome, and dealers are authorized to refund the purchase price in any case where customers have cause for dissatisfaction. It is, therefore, to the interest of both dealers and consumers to use Thurber's brands. December 22 51 4t J I t J. R. SCHORB'S PHOTO-GALLERY, i 1ST HOUSE EAST OF THE JAIL A SUPERIOR Skylight, a gallery with every 1 " convenience, and a determination to do my j best, enables me to promise satisfaction to all in want of correct and nattering likenesses. Cloudy weather is as good or better than sunshine for all subjects, except small children. J. W. BAIIMAN, L PBACTICAL BAEBEB AND HAIB DBESSEB. SHOP in SPRINGS MOORE building, on first a floor, in the rear of Withers Adickes' store. Easy shaving, fashionable hair-cutting and dressing and polite attention to all customers. Call and give him a trial. VST- Also dealer in CIGARS and TOBACCO. September 15 25 tf W. P. HOBBS. AGENT. NEW GOODS rj ECEIVINO ami for sale at the lowest Cash |X Prices, AT THE SMITH CORNER. [n tlie stock may he onumeraletl: Coffee, different qualities ami prices ; Smoking ind Chewing Tobacco; Cigars, Ralph's Scotch Bnuff; Soda and Starch ; Lion and Palnpsco Baling Powders; CANNED GOODS \nd E-tracts; Shoe Brushes and Blacking; bandies, Candles; Green and Black Teas ; the jest Brootn in town; good Apple Vinegar; Soda ind Lemon Crackers; Columbia River Salmon Concentrated Lye; Black Pepper in tin boxes, rry my ARIOSA ROASTED COFFEE. Old Seed Tick Coffee at G pounds for ?1. Call and sxamine tny goods and prices. W. P. HOBBS, Agent. LIVERY AND FEED STABLE. THE undersigned would respectfully inform the public that he has opened a LIVERY STABLE On his lot, near the Court House, and is amply prepared with HORSES, CARRIAGES, BUGGIES and WAGONS, to attend to any calls that may be made upon him by the traveling public. Special attention given to conveying TRAYEPjING SALESMEN to any point (lesired, in comfortable vehicles, and with careful drivers. Horses and vehicles to hire at reasonable prices. FEED STABLES;' In connection with the Livery business, I am also prepared to furnish feed and stabling for horses, by the meal, day, week or month. My long experience in the Livery Business warrants me in ensuring satisfaction to all who may favor me with their patronage. A few secona-hand Buggies for sale at a bargain. - - ^ ~ ? - F E> gMITH> April? 14 ly JTN. ROBSON, & SON. COMMISSION MERCHANTS AND DEALERS IN FERTILIZERS, G8 EAST BAY. Charleston, November 9, 1881. AT the commencement of another business year we acknowledge witb pleasure the patronage and confidence of our planting friends. Robson's Cotton and Corn Fertilizer, Robson's Compound Acid Pbospbatc, have given very gratifying satisfaction. Our Cotton and Corn Fertilizer is of the highest standard. It contains nmong other valuable Ingredients 3 per cent, of Ammonia, 1J per cent, of Potash, 16 per cent, of available Phosphate. Having been among the first to introduce Guano in this State, we can confidently refer to our planting friends that during the series of years we have sold them Manures we have always given a pure article. Every Manure is tested. We offer the above Fertilizers for cash, time or cotton. Planters ordering immediately will be allowed to the 1st of April to decide which they prefer, cash or time. An order for a car-load often tons will besent free of drayage, for a less amount ?1 per ton will be charged. November 24 47 3m LOOK SHARP! THE first of NOVEMBER has paRsed, and every one who bought Guano from me and has not delivered the Cotton, is LIABLE TO BE SUED For the face of their notes, which will add about 810.00 per ton to the debt. I cannot hold the Notes beyond the order of the Companies, aud I may be ordered, at any time, to turn the claims over to an OFFICER FOR COLLECTION. You can settle with me on bettor terms than you can with an officer, or oven with the Company. It is to YOUR INTEREST TO DO SO. And it will save me, as well as yourself, the mortification of SENDING FOR THE COTTON. We have alwaj*s been friends; let us continue so. A word to the wise is sufficient. T. S. JEFFERYS, Agent. TUC KJCWC AKJn MIIRICR. I Ilk Ilk II W nilW WVNHIhlll HAVING taken theagoncy of the CHARLESTON DAILY NEWS AND COURIER for Yorkville ami vicinity, I would respectfully inform the citizens that I will promptly deliver that paper EVERY AFTERNOON At TWENTY CENTS per week. This places subscribers in Yorkville on the same footing of subscribers in the city of Charleston. THE NEWS AND COURIER is received in Yorkville on the afternoon of THE DAY OF PUBLICATION. I will also receive subscriptions for the TRIWEEKLY NEWS, the WEEKLY NEWS, and the SUNDAY NEWS. Subscriptions for these papers to bo paid in advance, and weekly subscriptions to the daily to be paid at the end of each weeK. SAM M. GRIST. September 1 35 tf LOOK OUT! ALL persons indebted U io undersigned, and failing to pay up by me FIRST OF DECEMBER, will find their no.es in the hands of in officer for collection. We will not carry over any beyond that date. Either the money due must be Daid or the stock for which the notes are ;iven returned, with the difference in value. All notes due at Yorkville, will be found in the hands af Maj. J. H. BARRY, until the 1st of December. A. WILLIFORD & CO. November 3 44 tf turbine water wheel. WE have one 18-inch RIGHT HAND TURBINE WHEEL, as a sample of Farrar's Invention. We are working a 13J-inch Wheel it the same kind, and there is no better Water Wheel made for the same money. Those who contemplate using a Turbine Wheel can do no better than to get one of these Wheels. We have Circulars giving all the details in regard to the working of it, and with the sale you have the privilege of trying the Wheel, and if it does not lo as represented, the money will be refunded. Come and see the sample lS-iii'-h R. H. Turbine Wheel, Manufactured by theSERGEANT MANUFACTURING COMPANY, Greensboro, N. C. HERNDON BROS., Agents, Yorkville, S. C. February 10 47 tf "dental surgery. ? - ? ? Dr. J. R. PATRICK, of Charleston, SURGEON DENTIST, WILL visit Yorkville, professionjTpsSKJk ally, in January next, when he will ^-^-UJLLT be pleased to waitnponnll who may eqnire the services of a DENTIST. Being am)ly prepared with the best instruments and all he improved appliances, he feels warranted in issuring perfect satisfaction. Ladies waited on at their residence. Rooms at the Rawlinson House. September 22 38 ly garry iron roofing co. nd Cement. 79 and 81 Columbus Street, OliEVELAND, OHIO, Send for circulars and price lists. February 26 9 ly JOB PRINTING. OWING to our superior facilities with the best machine presses, an abundance of type and first-class appointments throughout our oifice, we are prepared to execute ALL MANNER OF JOB PRINTING- in superior style, and at prices that will compare with New York or Philadelphia charges for the same quality of work and materials. We have recently made a reduction in prices for the following classes of work, to which. we invite the attention of business men : UIIwTj heads. For .*>00 For 1000 Half-sheet Bill Heads $3.00 $5.00 Fourth-sheet Bill Heads, 2.25 3.50 Sixth-sheet Bill Heads, 2.00 3.00 Monthly statements at same price of sixth-sheet bill heads. We will fill an order for bill heads, giving any desired number of either size of sheet at proportionate prices. letter i ie aos. For 500 For 1000 Commercial Note, $2.15 $3.25 Packet Note, 2.25 3.50 Letter (large size) 3.00 6.0C For the above work we use a superior qui Jity of Daner. and guarantee entire satisfaction in ev ery instance. We also give special attention to the printing of Briefs, Arguments and Points and Authorities, which we furnish strictly according to the requirements of the Justices of the Supreme Court, and in proof reading exercise the utmost care to ensure accuracy. We are prepared to furnish all other kinds of printing, from a visiting card to a large volume, and will be pleased to furnish estimates for any style of work desired. Address, L. M. GRIST. Yorkville. S. C. September 9 37 tT C. & L. NABROW GAUGE RAILROAD? SCHEDULE of Mail and Passenger Trains, taking effect at 3.30 o'clock, P. M., November 21, 1881: GOING SOUTH. Leave Lincolnton, 7.00 A, M. Leave Hardin's 7.25 A. M. Leave Dallas, 7.50 A. M. Arrive at Gastonia*....-. 8.10 A. M. Leave Gastonia .8 30 A. M. Leave Pleasant Ridge -8.50 A. M. Leave Crowder's Creek 9.00 A. M. Leave Bowling Green 9.10 A. M. Leave Clover 9.25 A.M. ? Arrive at Yorkville 10.00 A. M. Leave Yorkville 10.10 A. M. Leave Gnthriesville 10.35 A. M. Leave McConnellsville -.10.50 A. M. Leave Lowrysville ?11.10 A. M. Arrive at Chester 11.40 A. M. BrcaXfast GOING NORTH. Leave Chester 3.30 P. M. Leave Lowrysville 4.00 P. M. sr at IBB- A AA XI 1/ l-ieave jvicvonneiiavtue i.^u i . m, Leave Guthriesville 4.30 P. M. Arrive at yorkville 4.55 P. M. Leave Yorkville 5.05 P. M. Leave Clover 5.45 P. M. Leave Bowling Green 5.55 P. M. Leave Crowder's Creek 6.05 P. M. Leave Pleasant Ridge 0.15 P. M. Leave Gastonia 6.45 P. M. Leave Dallas 7.05 P. M. Leave Hardin's 7.30 P. M. Arrive at Lincolnton 8.00 P, M. JAMES MASON, Superintendent. November 24 47 fc.' RICHMOND AND DANVILLE RAILROAD. C w "ww CHANGE OF SCHEDULE.. ON and after Sunday, November 20th, !1881, Passenger Train Service on the Atlanta and Charlotte Air-Line division of this road will be as follows: |U. S. Font Mail.! Express. |U. 8. Mail. EASTWARD. No. 55. | No. 51/ I No. 53. Leave AtlanU.... 3.15 P.M.1 j 5.30 A. M. Arr. Gainesville,.. 5.31 P. M.j ' I 7 43 A. M. " Toecoa 7.25 P. M. L'v8 00 P. M.I 8.10 A. M " Seneca 8.36 P. M. Arr.9.17 P. M.>10.47 A. M "Greenville.... 10.02 P.M. 10.54 P. M. 12.15 P.M. " Spartanb'g.... 11.17 P. M. 12.15 A. M.j lJff P. M. " Gastonia 1.29 A. M. 2.50 A. M.! 4.04 P. M. " Charlotte 2.30 A. M. 3.52 A. M.; 5.00 P. M. LOTSTuiiDn U. 8. Fast Mail. Express. U. S. Mall. No. 54. No. 50. No. 52. L>veCharlotte.... 12.10 A. M. 10.05 P. M. 12.30 P. M. Arr. Gastonia 1.01 A. M. 11520 P. M. 1.24 P. M. " Spartanb'g... 2.57 A. M. 1.50 P. M. 3.45 P. M. " Greenville... 4.16 A.M. 3.30 P.M. 5.03 P.M. " Seneca 5.44 A. M. 5.19 P. M. 6.50 P. M. " Toccoa 6.50 A. M. 6.20 P. M. 8.00 P. M. " Lula 8.14 A. M. 9.14 .P. M. " Gainesville.. 8.42 A. M. ' 9.45 P. M. " Atlanta | 11.00 A. M.| |J2.05 A. M. T. M. R. TALCOTT, General Manager. I. Y. SAGE, Superintendent. A. POPE, General Passenger Agent. December 8 49 tif STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA^ COUNTY OF YORK-COURT OF COMMON PLEA8. William Z. Kell, J. T. Kell, S. A. Kell, Sarah Haves, John D. Kell, Elmore Kell, Jascn J. Kell, Lucius Lindsay, and Elizabeth Lindsay, a minor, by. her guardian, ad litem, Lucius Lindsay, Plaintiffs, agAinst Banks Kell, Hugh Kell, and S. G. Hemphill, Administrator cum testamento annexo of John G. Kell, deceased, Defendants.?Summons for Relief? Compiaint not Served. To the Defendants. YOU are hereby summoned and required to answer the complaint in this action, of which a copy is herewith served upon you, and tos^rve a copy of your answer to the said complaint on the subscribers, at their office, in Yorkville, South Carolina, within twenty days alter the service hereof, exclusive of the day of tuch service; and if you fail to answer the complaint within the time aforesaid, the plaintiffs in this action will apply to the Court for the relief demanded in the complaint. Dated November 23rd, 1881. WILSON A WILSON, Plaintiffs' Attorneys. [L. S.] Jos. F. Wallace, C. C. C. Pleas. To the Defendants, Banks Kell and Hugh Kell.? Please take notice that the summons and complaint in the above entitled action was filed in the office of the Clerk of Common Pleas for the County of York, in the State of South Carolina, on the 16th day of November, A. D., 1881. WILSON & WILSON, Plaintiffs' Attorneys. November 24 47 6t ~T0 THE PEOPLE OF THE SOUTH. KING'S MOUNTAIN AND ITS HEROES. A HISTORY of the Battle, Oct. 7, 1780, and the events which led to it, after two years sjient in preparation, is now published ana ready for delivery. Jhe author, Lyman C. Draper, LL. D. has spent 40 years in gathering materials for this work, which abounds in stirring recitalu of adventures and hair-breadth escapes, alike interesting to old and young. The descendants of such men as Campbell, Shelby, Sevier, Clevela nd, Lacey, Williams, Hambright, McDowell, Winston, Hammond, and their officers, now lining by the thousands throughout the South, will welcome this permanent record of that glorious event which turned the tide of the Revolution. The work contains 012 pages, on fine paper, bf autifully bound, with seven steel portraits of the Heroes, and numerous'wood cuts, with index of I 5,000 references. Price, $4, sent postpaid ou re ceipt of price, or may be had of Agents in every county. PETER G THOMSON, Publisher, No. 179 Vine Street, Cincinnati, 0. Agents Wanted for nnassigned territory. Send for terms, circulars and sample copy. November 24 47 . 4t* IF YOU WANT. ~~ IF you want one of the best and most entertaining magazines published in the United States or anywhere else, subscribe for Harper's Monthly Magazine or Scribner's Monthly. The price for either is only $4.00 a year. If you want a splendid magazine for your children, subscribe for St. Nicholas. It is acknowledged to be the best juvenile magazine published in the world. Price $3.00 a year. If you want the best lady's magazine, subscribe for Demorest's Magazine, Gody's Lady's Book or Peterson's Magazine and you will get what you want. The price for either of these publications is only $2.00 a year. If you want a first-class story paper, subscribe for Saturday Night. Price $3.00 a year. , If you want any magazine or paper published w in the United States, I will order it for you at \ publisher's price. SAM M. GRIST. CHATTEL MORTGAGES > MORTGAGES of Real Estate^ and Titles to Real Estate. For sale at the ENQUIRER OFFICE. ?hc ffltMle inquirer. . TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION : Single copy for one year, $2 50 For six months, 125 For three months, . 75 Two copies one year, 4 00 Ten copies one year, 20 00 And an extra copy for a club of ten. ADVERTISING RATES. ONE DOLLAR per square, for the first insertion, and FIFTY CENTS per square, for ench subsequent insertion. A square consists of 'he space occupied by seven lines of this size type. par Contracts will be made at reduced rates for advertising space to be used for three, six, or twelve months.