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Humorous frparfmcut. PATRICK'S SERENADE. Oeh ! Bridget, mavoureen, joostopen the winder. And give me a glimpse av your beautiful face; My ancient dudeen is all burnt to a cinder^ And boogs are very thick in this murthrii^>lace. Sure, Biddy my girl, it's no joke for a ganius, To walk all djiy 'nath the botherin' hod, And thin, in the night, serenades ycung Vainus, Clane up to his knees in the muddy ould sod. I'm dyin' wid rapture, my Jewel of creatures, A nlver a lover more willingly howled ; But don't ye let scorn wrinkle up your sweet features, Because your poor Paddy has got s uch a cowld. The lightnin' is roarin', the toonder is tlashin', The moon is no bigger than nothin' at all; And such an outrageous and divilish splashin' I never did hear, since the days I was small. Thin open the winder, my queen av affection, Or, what is as good, plase open the door; Nor drame that you're sure of escapin' detection, I know ye're awake, by the length ov ye're tihnnrft. EXCRUCIATING. Scene 1.?In front of a fashionable hotel. Gentleman dismounting from his horse. "Stabler, attend ! Refrigerate my beast by allowing him twice to circumambulate yonder fountain; that accomplished, to imbibe a moderate quantity of acqueous particle; conduct him with care to the repository for wearied beasts, and having clothed in lustre his dirty skin by a gentle application of the vegetable material, commonly called straw, suffer him to partake of food which shall afford nourishment and gentle repose." Stabler?(laughing.) u\V-h-a-t,sir ?" Gentleman?"What, sir! Stand you like one who has no reason in his soul, while this poor bea3t, whose every pore is a fount of gushing strength, grows valetudinary 'neath Sol's oppressive rays. Ye volatile barbarian !" Stabler?(laughing still more unrestrainedly,) "I can't understand a word you say, sir ; but I suppose you want your horse put up." Gentleman?"Stupidity unequaled! Landlord, fulminate your censures against this tardy churl, who thus manifests opugnation to my desires, and conduct me to secluded apartments, and bring restoratives of a most vivific character, to reinstate to their former power the wearied energies of my exhausted frame." Landlord?(laughing) "I will, sir." Gentleman?"Prospecterous ! And you, sir, unite in the disgraceful merriment of your minion ! I should surmise myself the first of the species you had ever beheld. Landlord?(laughing still more.) "Indeed you are, sir." Gentleman?"Terminate this prolix scene and officiate as guard to my apartments. At the hour of dinner, summon me. If wearisomeness should have caused me to be recumbent in posture, gently reanimate me with the breath of a fan." Scene 2.?The Dining Room. Gentleman seating himself at the table, dinner over, and others standing in the room. Gentleman?"I should judge voracity and ignorance prevailing characteristics of man. I see nothing among these reeking ruins worthy the regard of a gentleman's palate. Waiter, I desire a female fowl, sufficiently, but not redundantly made edible by fire." It is brought. "Waiter, dissect with care the same. Do not violently separate the parts, lest my joints should suffer dislocation from the discordant sounds." It is done. "Waiter, place a tender portion of the breast upon my plate, with necessary accompaniments." It is done as ordered, and the gentleman commences his dinner. A wag who, with others, had observed these proceedings, seats himself at table opposite our hero. Wfltf?^Woifor furnicK ma mlfK a fomolo IT 4*? 11 uiuwi | IUIUIOU UJ\j nmu ? fowl." The waiter understands the joke, and does as he is bid. "Waiter, dissever now her component parts." It is done. "Waiter, divide those parts into portions suited to lubial capacity." Opening his mouth, and throwing himself back on his chair. "Waiter, place one of them in the orifice before you." Our hero begins t:> understand the quiz, and is evidently much disconcerted. "Waiter, wag my jaws !" Amid roars of laughter, and curses upon his lips, our hero rushes from the room. .Election Anecdote.?The following story is told of a revolutionary soldier who was running for Congress: It appears that our hero was opposed by a much younger man, who had never "been to ihe wars," and it was the wont of oldJ^ftJ^kttTOnary" to tell the people of"tl^e^tTardsh:ps he endured. Says he: "Fellow-citizens, I have fought and bled for day country?I have helped to whip the British and the Indians. I have slept upon the fiefriyof battle with no covering but the canopy ofsHeaven. I have walked over frozen groumiKnll every footstep was marked with blood." Just about this li^ne one of the "sovereigns," who had becoute very much affected by this tale of woe, wa.lksViip in front of the speaker, wiping the tears Yrom his eyes with the extremity of his coat-tail, and interrupting him, says: / "Did you say you fopght the British and tbelngines?" / "Yes," responded^e old "revolutionary." "Did yous^y^fhat you had slept on the grountbjsJrileserving your country, without "Elver ?" "Yes, sir, I did." "Did you say that you had followed the enemy of your country over frozen ground till every footstep wa3 marked with blood ?" "Yes," exultingly replied the speaker. .1 ? . A.) ii ?? treu, men, says me leariui "sovereign, as he gave a sigh of painfui emotion, "I'll be hanged if I don't think you've done euough for your country, and I'll vote for the other man." "Mother," said a little girl of twelve, the other day, "I want to get married." "Hold your tongue, you silly thing," exclaimed the parent. "But you let sister Jane get married last month, and she wasn't but three years older than myself. And there is cousin Martha, , only two years and a half my elder?she got j married lately, you know, and I guess my i beau is as good as her husband is, any day. I So there now." "Your beau !" exclaimed the maternal one : in surprise. "For mercy's sake, child, you . have not got a beau, I hope." "I guess I have, ma, and a good one, too, j as any girl's at our school; Jim Cricket is my i beau, and we have been engaged for a long ; time." "In a vear or two. we'll think about it: ^ but I can't hear to such a thing now," returned the parent, "Well, ma," returned the hopeful juvenile, poutingly, "if you will not let me get mar* ried, I want you to give me a new patent skirt, with a self-adjusting buBtle attached !" Magnificently Sold.?No medical so-! ciety could be imposed upon as once was the London Medical Society. They were au-1 thentically informed that a sailor had broken his leg, and it had been cured in three days by the application of tar and oakum. They j immediately broke the legs of uuch animals as they could get, bandaging them with tar and oakum, but the legs did not get well ; and they wanted to break some man's leg to test this wonderful cure. Finally, they wrote to their informant to learn, if they had j used the right kind of tar and oakum, and in j the right proportions. He assured them all was right, and added in a posteript, that the leg being of mod, tar and oakum was proba- j bly as good as anything they could have, * used. I Jam and Jirwide. I Take Care of the Feet.?Very many j persona do not properly care for their feet, j Tfiey wear cottou stockings and thin shoes in winter; sometimes they sit, perhaps for hours, j with thpir feet damp, and even wet. It is not infrequent for females to go about their household work half a day at a time with their feet inadequately protected, while the cold currents of air cause a temperature forty de-i grees less near the lioor than overhead. Some people become so habituated to cold feet as ! not to feel the chill, the long-continued cold ! having contracted the blood vessels and destroyed the proper sensibility of the nerves. Not a few persons go to bed in a cold room with their feet still cold, to have them yet further chilled by a cold bed. Now the feet sustain a close relation to the rest of the body. Hence it is that the physician applies heat to * mi _ the feet to relieve a congested Dram, inefeet of one whose legs are paralyzed will kick when tickled, though the person is not conscious of the tickling, nor, except by sight, of the kicking. This indicates, too, one of the reasons why a rusty nail in the foot causes that fearful disease, lockjaw. Good health cannot be enjoyed unless the blood circulates warm and strong "through the extremities. Mothers should see to it that their children's feet are well clad, and should, from time to time during the day, remove their shoes to make sure that they are warm. They should train them to right ideas and habits in this respect. With all persons, the rule in Winter should be woolen stockings and thick-soled shoes, and rubbers in wet weather. Extra soles, whether of cork, felt or even thick pasteboard, may be used to great advantage. Slippers, or shoes that can be easily removed, should be worn about the house. If the feet are permanently cold, from the shrinkage of the blood vessels, this will tend to enlarge them again. Iu such cases they should be soaked every night, for a tirafi, in quite warm water.? Youth's Companion. Sowing Seed.?The depth to which seed should be covered depends upon a variety of i circumstances, all of which should be well understood. To iorae extent the condition of the soil, the state of the weather, the nature nf sppfi and ti'o numose for which it is to be grown, all have something to do with the matter. If the soil is warm and the season at planting indicates a period of dry weather, plant deeper than if these conditions were different. Peas need to be planted quite deep if they are wanted for several pickings through the season for family use; but for market purposes, after which the land is to be cleared for another crop, they may be planted shallower. During some seasons a large per cent, of our common garden seeds fail to grow. Au open seed, as it is called, like beet seed, needs to be planted nearer the surface thau one enclosed in a hard coatiug, like the turnip or cabbage, because if planted deep it is liable to rot. One and a half to three inches has been found to be the proper depth for the coarser field and garden seed, while flower seeds and the finer vegetable seeds want much less covering, and some are so small as only to need placing upon the surface and pressing into the soil with the hand or garden trowel. All seeds germinate better if the soil is made firm above them. This may be done with the hoe, hand, foot, trowel, garden or field roller, as circumstances may favor. Salt for Trees.?Young fruit trees can be made to grow and do well in places where old trees have died, by sowing a pint of salt on the earth where they are to stand. After the trees are set continue to sow a pint of salt round each tree every year. I set twenty-five trees in sandy soil for each one of seven yeare and only succeeded in getting one to live, and that only produced twigs a few inches long in nine years. Last year I sowed a pint of salt around it, and limbs grew three and a half feet long. In the Spring of 1877, i set out twenty-five trees, putting a pint of salt in the dirt used for filling, and then sowed a pint or more on the surface after each tree was set. All grew a3 if they bad never been taken from the nursery. Last spring I set thirty more, treating them in the same way, and they have grown very finely. The salt keeps away insects that injure the roots and renders the soil more capable of sustaining plant growth. - A farmer's ambition should be to own smaller land titles and better land ; to own a less number of stock and bettter stock. More praise to him who raises one thousand bushels of corn from ten acres than to him who raises the same from twenty; and to him who feeds five cows into making a pound of butter each day, than to him who has ten cows and gets half a pound from each ; and to him that makes yearling porkers weigh as much as his neighbor's two-year-olds, than to that neigh bor. As much as 212 bushels of corn, 50 bushels of wheat, 60 of oats, 70 of barley, 50 of rye, 9 of clover seed have been reported from one acre. Hogs have been made to weigh 400 pounds at one year old. Steers 2,400 at three. Forty pounds of wool have been sheared f om oue sheep. Seventeen pounds of buttf >. have been made from one cow in a week. And the closer a farmer gets to these results the more the world owes him. Oatmeal.?The use of this article of food has greatly increased during the past few years, and if all we hear and read in iis favor be true, it should be used to even a greater extent. The Scotch are noted as a robust and healthy people, and they make great use of oatmeal iu various ways. We believe it would be far better for our farmer friends to have this article on their breakfast tables every morning, than to eat so much fried pork as a good many do. It must be very healthful and nourishing for children as well as adults. Get a good article and have it well cooked, and served with cream and a little sugar, and it is good. Let those who do not think so try it for six months or a year, and they will not do without it ever after. Ammonia for Headache ?There is nothing that will relieve the headache so efficaciously as w irm water, with a few drop3 of spirits of ammonia mixed with it. Have the water as hot as the hand can bear it, and bathe the head freely with the solution. It acts like a charm. The same remedy is goocb for bruises or blows on the head or any part of the body. It takes out the soreness and the black and blue spots quickly. I know of nothing that is so efficacious, and it is very simple and quiet to apply. The bumps that are always happening to children can be cured in a few minutes by a thorough application of ammonia and hot water, and just as soon as the pain is gone they are ready to run and iry 11 again. A Scarlet Fever Cure.?The following recipe was publis led some years ago as infallible for scarlet '?ver and small pox. The publisher of the lecipesays: "Either disease will disappear in twelve hours. For a child, smaller doses, according to age." We would not, however, advise our readers to use it without consulting a competeut physician: "Sul- j phate of zinc, one grain ; foxglove (digitalis) one grain ; half :i teaspoonful of sugar, mix j with two tablespoonfuls of water. When I thoroughly mixed add four ounces of water, j Take a spoonful every hour." S&* Young chickens drink a great deal of water, but they in common with all animals know just how much they need. Mix your ; corn dough very dry and crumbly, therefore, j and let your fowls drink fresh, cool, clean wa- j ter after they are through eating. If your mess is mixed too thin and sloppy, you will force them to swallow more water than they need in order to get at their feed. A man will wait to get shaved in a bar-! ber shop for an hour with perfect tranquility ; but the same man will come home to dinner,; and if he finds the meal five or ten minutes late he will tear around like a Bashan bull. I * fJratlhig (0* the jiMfrath. CONDUCTED BT REV. ROBERT LATHAN. [Original ] THE FIRST COMMANDMENT. The ten commandments, contained in the twentieth chapter of Exodus, is usually called the moral law. It is not very apparent why they are so designated. So far as we remember, they are not so called in the scriptures. The simple word law, or, for the sake of emphasis, the law, expresses all that is necessary. The adjective moral, is derived from the Latin word mos. This word means, manner, custom, habit, way of life, conduct. The word law denotes a ruler of action. The word moral is apparently superfluous. Custom, however, has made its use in connection with law as applied to the term commandments admissible, if not correct. The ten commandments, were given by God-to Moses, under circumstances well adapted to show their great importance. These circumstances are all minutely and thrillingly narrated in the book of Exodus, and need not be here repeated. The ten commandments are susceptible of division. The first four have reference to the duties which we owe directly to God. The remaining six teach us what duties we owe to our fellow-men. It may be remarked that these ten comraaudments form the basis of all good governments among men, and all human crime is a violation of some one, or all of these commandments. The first comraandmeut is thus stated: "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me." The starting point in religion is the belief in the existence of a Supreme Being. Religion consists in worshiping God. If the God we worship is the true God, and if we worship him in the right way, our religion is the true religion ; otherwise, it is a false religion. In the first commandment, it is assumed that there is only one living and true God. This God we are commanded to recognize in all we do, say and think. By a fair and legitimate inference, we are, in the first commandment, commanded to worship the Supreme Being. All men are so constituted that they must worship, in some sort of way, some sort of a god. The first commandment forbids the c 1 _n ? worsnipiug ui any auu nu guus, cAucpt vuc living and true God. It does not, in otherwords, forbid Jthe exercise of devotion.-.l feelings and devotional exercises, but it limits these feelings and exercises to the true God. It would be a waste of time to attempt to prove, to auy Bible reader, that one of the truths taught in the Scriptures, is the exis tence of God. It matters not whether this fact ia discoverable by the light of nature or not; it is plainly taught in the Bible, and is not inconsistent with the discoveries of reason. No science, ho philosophy, has any facts to present which teach that there is no God. It is only the fool that says in his heart there is no God. In the first commandment, we are commanded to worship this God to the exclusion of all others. As the existence of law indicates irregular conduct, so the first' commandment teaches us that there is a tendency of the human mind to idolatry. In nothing has the fertility of tlie human mind more clearly shown itself than in its multiplying objects of adoration. There are godsmany; but they are the creations of morbid imaginations. The Bible teaches that there is but one God, and this is the teaching of right reason. In the first commandment, as in all the commandments, there is a duty enjoined and a sin forbidden. The duty which we are required to perform, is the worshiping of the living and true God. The sin forbidden is tbe worshiping of idols. Whoever refuses or neglects to worship the living and true God, sins; and whoever worships any idol, no matter what it may be, sins. Sin consists in doing what we are commanded not to do, or in not doing what we are commanded to do. In this there is nothing that is unreasonable, nothing that is arbitrary, nothing that is onorous. On tbe contrary, it is in perfect harmony with reason. If, as the scriptures teach, there is but one God, and that God is our maker and preserver, it is our duty to render to him whatever services He may require. The highest claim to our services is the claim of creation and preservation. In us, God has a peculiar propriety. We sustain to Him a relationship that we can sustain to no creature. He is our maker. From Him we derive our being and to Him is due our preservation in existence. No higher claim can possibly be set up than the right of creation. All other titles may be defective. That founded upon creation is perfect. This is the right which God has in all his creatures. This gives Him the absolute right to command, and imposes upon all his creatures the duty to obey. That we may be enabled to render acceptable obedience to God, we must have a correct knowledge of his nature. This knowledge can be obtained only from the Scriptures. From the works of creation and providence, we can learn something of the nature of God, but that knowledge is very obscure, dark and confused. Sin has blinded our minds and made that which is plain, obscure; that which is light, dark and confused. The tendency in the human mind to idolatry, is fully demonstrated in the history of all nations. Under the most favorable circumstances, the Jews forsoek God?the God that brought them out of Egypt?and made and worshiped false gods. Even Aaron, the priest of God, so far aided and abetted this sinful propensity, that he made for God's chosen people a golden calf, and winked at the sinful practice of worshiping it. Ilight reason is opposed to idolatry, and the first commandment positively forbids it. ? fiSaF* Our Saviour spake with authority. He j spake as never man spoke. He gave positive [ and broad precepts. The whole spirit of war, j violence and retaliation is prohibited in language so direct, so comprehensive, so unqualfKof nnt nrnKIKU oil war if ia i difficult to conceive of any words that will.? j E. B. Hall. flSaj"1 The tree will not only lie as it falls, but i it will fall as it leans. And the great, ques- J tion every one should bring home to himself, i is, "What is the inclination of ray soul ? Does it, with all its affections and powers, lean ; toward God, or away from him ?" . 8Z&r If you hate your enemies, you will con- j tract such a vicious habit of mind as by de- j grees will break out upon those who are your friends, or those who are indifferent to you. j flaT A Christian must be a man of faith ev- j ery step of the way. One whom the world i knows not, though he so well-knows the world. I IgiswUiMwu* Reading.!; PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE. Professor E. G. Janeway lectured in New , York about the prevention ofdisease, advising , that great attention should be paid to it in ' ( order to obviate the necessity of curing the disease when it should come. All, he said, were familiar with the cost of sickness, involving the expense of medical attendance and loss of time, work and wages, hut rnauy j were ignorant of how to prevent it. A man j, should first learn his hereditary tendencies, ' and if he was likely to inherit disease he j 1 should guard against it by his mode of life, j his choice of occupation and of a dwelling place, etc. After enlarging somewhat upon ' the tendency of consumption and gout, he spoke particularly of hereditary insanity. If a child were liable to that, the greatest care should be taken from the earliest infancy?first to develop the body. As he grew older he should be trained to avoid ? ??J ?A u'uo /Inotralilo wurry uuu tvuAicty* xxv/tiuu nu?i uv.au?uiv for such a person rather than undue reflection. All mental shocks should be avoided. It was bad for him to be wrapped up in one idea, such as the acquisition of money or power. He should choose a congenial pursuit and by no means be forced by his parents into a distasteful one. There were good reasons why he should not marry, but if he did, he should carefully choose a congenial wife. The lecturer theu spoke at great length on the necessity of pure air, water and milk, giving several instances of the deleterious effects of bad air, among others that of the passeugers on the ship Londonderry in 1848, 150 of whom were shut up by the captain during a storm, in the steerage, an apartment 18x11x7 feet. Seventy of them died in an incredibly short time, having convulsions and bleeding at the eyes and ears. Speaking of the dangers of improper air in dwelling houses, the lecturer described a house he had examined in which he found the cold air-box of the furnace connecting directly with the sewer. In unother house he knew of three cases of malaria where the tenant, imagining a drain that the owner had warranted, to be alt right, found a cesspool under the house. He has also known people to put their garbage barrels under the cold air-box of the furnace. People should examine the plumbing in their houses for themselves and not be satisfied when the plumber said it was right. n.Aa rkAAaililA a KniMor r?r UCUCVCl lb nni J1U931UIO a icuaut uuuuu <-> purchaser of a house should insist that the plumbing work be all in sight, and not buiied in walls. If people would insist upon it houses would soon be built so. But if the plumbing is in the wills the peppermint test should be applied. A considerable quantity of the essence of peppermint should be poured in the highest trap in the house, and if there was a break anywhere the peppermint odor would betray it. Bad odors in a house were like the rattles of a rattlesnake. They meant bad plumbing and danger. He then spoke earnestly in regard to vaccination, saying that a hundred years ago ten deaths in every hundred were caused by smallpox. Now, by vaccination and isolation, the disease was checked. By being vaccinated in infancy and once fifteen or twenty years afterward a person was comparatively safe; but by being vaccinated once in seven years he was as safe as he could be. He then concluded with a few directions in regard to disinfecting and nursing in cases of infectious diseases. INFIRMITIES OF TEMPER. I think more downright unhappiness and misery are caused by ill temper in the home than by all the embezzlements, infidelities and crimes put together into which poor human nature falls. One individual?man, woman or child?is possessed of an arbitrary, overbearing or furious temper. You never know at what unfortunate moment his temper will explode. A chance word, an unlucky allusion or a mistimed jest, will set it off, for the fuse is always laid, and it needs but one touch of the match. Five or ten people shall be made temporarily wretched because one person?unconsciously, perhaps, yet supremely egotistic and selfish, has never learned to control his disposition and bridle his tongue. It may be the head of the house who is apt to be cross at breakfast time, and he goes away to business, leaving a weight of depression behind him which he is wholly unable to estimate or measure. It may be the mother who gives the reins to fretfulness, or who looks like a martyr, when everybody is trying to please her. Her husband carries the thought of her face to his counting room, and the children miss their lesso.us and receive discredit marks because they did not get well started for the day. Even a child who is willful, capricious and stormy in mood, can overshadow a family and lessen the sum of its daily delight. A great many bad-tempered people are very good in 6ome regards. They are truthful, generous and kind. They will go to all lengths to do you a service. They will divide their lust dollar with you, and sit up with you when you are ill and suffering. Yet they will not scruple to trample on your ordinary comfort, to wound your feelings constantly, and mortify you by outbreaks of passion when they ought most to be patient and courteous. What is to be done about it? For one i thing society is to blame. We must cease to look upon an infirm temper as a venial offense. We must let the person who habitually indulges in it understand that he caunot be at once a bear and a saint. We must not talk or think of a bad, by which we mean an irascible, vindictive, or malicious temper, as a misfortune to be pitied merely. It is rather a trait to be condemned and a sin to be ashamed of. The ill-tempered person should be met by reproof and by good-humored but constant resistance. Too often he carries all before him. For the sake of peace everybody keeps quiet. It is an old lion, and who shall stir him up? The abject submission of friends and kindred to the ill-temper of some one they both love and fear, intensifies and augments the evil. The ill-tempered adult was once a child. The fault was once manageable. On parents and nrpppntnrs. then, heavv responsibility lies, siuce theirs is the duty of right training.? Christian Weekly. Consumption.?Consumption usually begins with a slight dry cough in the morning, then, on going to bed getting more "and more frequent, with more and more phlegm, increasing debility, thinness of flesh, shortness of breath and quickening pulse. In fatal cases its average course is about two years; hence the importance of arresting the disease at as early a stage as possible, and the sooner rational means are employed for this purpose, the greater the chances of success. The disease is owing to an irritation commencing in the throat and extending to the lungs, so that their action is interfered with, and the blood does not receive sufficient oxygen to purify it. The first thing to be done is to remove the obstruction which is the irritation or congestion of the lungs. Four ! ouuces of glycerine, two ounces of alcohol, two ounces of water aud one grain of mor- , phine make an excellent mixture for relieving the cough. It should be taken in doses of two teaspoonfuls every two hours until 1 the cough is relieved. The chest, just below the neck, should be rubbed with tartar emetic ointment every morning over a space as large as the hand, until a thick crop of sores ( is brought out; then rub the ointment between the sores to bring out a new crop. : Meantime the patient should take regular [ and vigorous exercise in the open air. There is nothing that equals horseback riding as a remedy for this disease. If a consumptive were to "live in the sad- j die" and sleep out of doors, taking care to s keep the feet dry and warm, and to live upon ! good, nourishing food, in short to "rough it," ( he would recover his health in a few months, < even if the disease had made coD9iderable progress. The trouble is that it requires a strong will to carry out so severe a course, jn spite of the languor and debility which disposes an invalid to quiet despondency. The most marked sign of lung disease is emaciation, and the most positive indication of reluming health is increase in weight.?Halls Journal of Health. THEY ALL KNOW. Once in a lifetime you meet a man who will admit that he doesn't know all about a horse, but he may come around next day and claim to have been tcmporairly insane when he made the admission. As a rule, every man knows exactly what ails a horse, whether anything ails him or not, and can point out a dozen instances where nature could have improved on her work, no matter how well she did it. Yesterday a horse which had been ltfok?d over by the fire department and rejected on account of size was tied to a post on Griswold street. He was as sound as a dollar. not even showiug a wind-puff. Pretty soon along came two lawyers, and one of them remarked : "Pity such a nice animal as that is foundered." "Yes, and I can see that he is windbrokeu to hoot," was the ready response. Then the cashier of the bank halted and took a look at the horse's teeth. He was going away, wheu a mail carrier asked : "How old do you call him ?" "Some men might buy him for 12, but they couldn't*fool me. That horse will never see 16 again." The best judges had called him 6, and his owner had proofs that he wasn't a month older. The mail carrier felt of the animal's ribs, rubbed his spine and observed : "He's got the botts or I'm no judge of horses." Then a merchant halted and surveyed the horse's legs, lifted its front feet, pinched its knees and feeling said : "Been a pretty good stepper in his day, but he's gone to the crows now." The next man was a book-keeper. It took him about five minutes to make up his mind that sweeny was the leading ailment, although poll-evil, heaves and glanders were present in a bad form. "What is sweeny?" queried an innocent boot black who had made up his mind that the hnrsfl hnd liver rmnnlnint.. """ I "Sweeny?" repeated the bookkeeper? "look at the way he carries his tail and learn what sweeny is." "Oh, no," put in another?"sweeoy affects the eyes." "I guess not," said an insurance man ; "I guess sweeny affects the lungs." "Lungs!" cried a broker?"you mean the stomach!" And they were jangling over it when the owner of the horse came and led him away.? Detroit Free Press. A Few Slight Faults in a Postmaster When Judge McLean was Postmaster General, he wrote the following letter to a dismissed Postmaster, who inquired why he had been removed: "Sir : The allegations against you are numerous and strong, and chiefly these: That you cannot write nor read ; are not a safe accountant ; not delivering letters when called r._ J-i? : 1 -ii c ,1.. ior, uenvenug itueis j r eijiieii wj' iu pcioimo for whom they were not intended ; fail to send letters and packages by mail in proper time ; sometimes sending off the mail without putting into it any letters or packets that have been lodged at your office; reverse the destination of letters, and send them back to the place whence they came; have not sense enough to discover the error after the letters have been repeatedly returned ; make frequent and gross mistakes in the bills forwarded to other offices ; open packages addressed to other post offices ; when a mail is called for by a neighboring post-master, handing out any one, right or wrong; disobey the regulation respecting dead newspapers ; appropriate half a dozen of them to your own use for two or three years, and resort to the miserable speculation of selling them for wrapping paper; fill up a circulating library with periodical works obtained in this way ; are uncouth in your behavior, odious to the population; heap error upon error, and avail yourself of these errors in order to supplant your employer ; have been tried by the vicinage and found wanting; and to sura up, they charge you with want of principle and capacity." Characteristic.?There is a little incident connected with Mahone's career during the late war, which is worth relating. On one occasion Mahone had a fight with General Wilson's division, near Petersburg, and Wilson captured a whole regiment of Mahone's men. Fitz Hugh Lee subsequently gave Wilson a sound drubbing, and recaptured Mahone's lost regiment and twelve or fourteen of Wilson's cannon. Mahone had the pieces hauled to his quarters, and sent a dispatch to the Richmond papers announcing that he had whipped Wilson and captured his artillery. In the meautime he had the guns placed in conspicuous positions arouyd his headquarters, as trophies of war. Fitz' Hugh Lee, hearing of this scurvy trick, went to Mahone's camp at 2 o'clock in the morning and demanded the guns. Mahone impudently refused to give them up. Fitz Hugh Lee went back to his camp and ordered his men to prepare to take the guns. General R. E. Lee, hearing of the difficulty, interfered, and Mahone delivered the guns to him, refusing to hand them over to Fitz Hugh Lee, who had taken them from the enemy and saved Mahone's captured regiment. In his magnanimity Fitz Hugh Lee did not report to General Lee that Mahone had lost his regiment, but the little brigadier gave him no thanks, and meanly stuck to it that he had gained a victory and captured the guns. The incident is suggestive of the character of the man.? Courier-Journal. The Elephant Disappearing.?Considerable interest attaches to a question which has just heen put by a Sheffield worker in ivory. He desires to know whether elephants shed their tusks, as, if not, upward of one thousand two hundred and eighty of these magnificent beasts must have been killed to supply his manufactory alone with the ivory used last year. The answer to his query is, unfortunately, that before the tusks can be obtained an elephaut must be slaughtered, and herein is found a subject for serious reflection. Numerous still in Ceylon, though hv no means as plentiful as they were a few years ago, anil without doubt existing also in large numbers in certain parts of Africa, the elephant is, however, rapidly disappearing. As a beast of burden he is 'unrivaled in strength, eudurauce and intelligence, and the service he renders in times of war as well as peace, would alone more than reward a great effort on his behalf. Quite apart from the j fact that, when he goes, the supply of ivory , ceases too, there is also the grave considera- < tion of his loss as a means of locomotion and ; transport. It is well known that he does not ' breed in captivity, and it is, therefore, only in i a wild state that the species can be preserved. 1 The destruction of more than twelve hundred of his kind for one knife making firm implies a huge and serious waste. ?lte forMle #t?ptiw. j TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: I Single copy for one year, 92 50 ' For six months, 125 For three months, 75 Two copies one year 4 00 . Ten copies one year, 20 00 And an extra copy for a club of ten. ADVERTISING RATES. ONE DOLLAR per square, for the first inser:ion, and FIFTY CENTS per square, for each subsequent insertion. A square consists of the ipace occupied by seven lines of this size type. $S3- Contracts will be made at reduced rates t for advertising space to be used for three, six, ' )r twelve months. ' SPOOL COTTON. 1 ESTABLISHED 1812. v^By^y x^cojV/ (Wound on Whitb Spools.) GtUKVit a . v u a n iv , t SOLE AGENT, 400 BROADWAY, NKW YORK. j Since the introduction of this Spool Cotton into the American market, its success has been unprecedented. No other brand of thread has ever met with the same amount of public favor in the same space of time. 1 The "0. N. T." manufacturers were the first to recognize the importance of the Sewing Machine and to make a six-cord cotton, , which has ever since been the recognized standard for machines. *A11 the improvements iu machinery that the inventive genius of the nineteenth century has produced have been adapted by the manufacturers of " 0. N. T." At nil tho great International Fairs of the world, "O. N. T." has been awarded the highest honors. The " 0. N. T." factories at Newark, N. J. ! and Paisley, Scotland, employ 5,200 operatives?make sufficient thread daily to go around the world four times. 1 Consume 140 tons of coal daily. Tho manufacturers of "O. N. T." are the largest manufacturers of Spool Cotton in the world. A full assortment of this Spool Cotton can be had at wholesale "and retail at HUNTER, OATES & CO.'S, Agents, Dealers in Dry Goods, Groceries, <ftc. Yorkville, South Carolina. February 24 8 6m THE "FAMILY FAVORITE." -=?3J THE VERY BEST AND THE VERY LATEST IMPROVED Sewing* IVTaeliine. Light Running, Noiseless, No Gears, No Cams, No Springs, New and Elegant styles of Woodwork. Loose Fly-Wheel, Automatic Spooler, Casters in Stand, Largest Shuttle Used, Simple, Easy to Learn, Requires no Repairs at all. ? . INSTRUCTJON BOOK So plain that no other teacher is required. If you see it. you will buy it. Prices as low as any firstclass Machine. For sale by LATIMER <fc HEMPHILL, Yorkville, S. C. WEED SEWING MACHINE COMPANY, HARTFORD, CONN. i March 31 13 tf KING'S MOUNTAIN CENTENNIAL THE King's Mountain Centennial Association instructed me to publish, in permanent form, , the proceedings of the recent CELEBRATION OF THE BATTLE OF KING'S MOUNTAIN, together with those of 1855. The book will contain about two hundred pages. It is proposed to ' bring the workout in three different bindings at ' the following prices: , Paper Binding, $100 , Half Binding .-. 1 50 1 Full Binding 2 00 It is manifest that the proposed work can only be published by subscription. It is for the public to say whether or not the work shall be published. . Any one desiring the work will send me his or her . name and the money, and in the event the book , is not published the money will be refunded. ; R. LATH AN. 1 March 10 10 tf } GARRY IRON ROOFING CO., ' and Cement. < 79 and 81 Columbus Street, ' CliEVELAlVD, OHIO. ] Send for circulars and price lists. February 26 9 ly Tt RBINE WATER WHEEL. ! WE have one 18-inch RIGHT HAND TUR- t BINE WHEEL, as a sample of Farrar's ? Invention. We are working a 131-inch Wheel t ot the same kind, and there is no better Water 1 Wheel made for tbe same money. Those who contemplate using a Turbine Wheel can do no better than to getone of these Wheels. We have Circulars giving all the details in regard to me working of it, and with the sale you have the 1 privilege of trying the Wheel, and if it does not .. do as represented, the money will be refunded. Come and see the sample 18-in<-h R. H. Turbine J Wheel, Manufactured by theSERGEANT MAN- \ UFACTUKING COMPANY, Greensboro, N. C. lT HERNDON BROS., Agents, Yorkville, S. C. ? February 10 47 tf ? c ESTATE, JANE BARBER, DECEASED." J To all and singular the Creditors of said estate: YOU, and each of you, are hereby notified that u you are required to establish your demands ti sgainst the said estate, at York C. H., on the 26th day of May next, at 10 A. M., before the under- C signed, a Special Referee appointed by the Court of Common Pleas for York county, in the consolidated actions of "Erwin A Steele, Adm'rs., vs. John Barber et al." and "J. Newman McEl- wee vs. Jos. F. Wallace, Adm'r," or be debarred from payment out of the assets of said estate to f be marshalled in said actions in the said Court. April 12, 1881. J NO. J. HEMPHILL, ,j Special Referee. D April 14 15 6t tj AGENTS WANTED. ~ J WE want a limited number of active, ener- \ getic canvassers to engage in a pleasant and b profitable business. Good men will find this a rare chance TO MAKE MONEY. Such will please answer this advertisement I by letter, enclosing stamp for reply, stating what i ? business they have been engaged in. None but :hose who mean business need apply. Address ' FINLEY, HARVEY A CO., j Atlanta, Ga. i j January 6 1 ly j b CHATTEL MORTGAGES J MORTGAGES of Real Estate, and Titles to ' s: Real Estate. For sale at the ENQUIRER OFFICE, j September 9 37 tf OLD NEWSPAPERS, ] OF large size, suitable for wrapping, for sale e at one cent each, at the " ENQUIRER OFFICE. LTLANTA AND CHARLOTTE AIR-LINE RAILWAY. PASSENGER DEPARTMENT. Atlanta, Qa., January 30,1881. CHANGE OF SCHEDULE. I~|N and after January 30, 1881, trains will run Lf on this road as follows: FAST MAIL. (eastward.) Arrive at Gastonia, 4.10 A. M. Leave 4.11 A. M. (westward.) Arrive at Gastonia, 2.0;> A. M. Leave 2.09 A. M. DAY PASSENGER TRAIN. (eastward.) Arrive at Gaston in, 2.15, P. M. Leave 2.18, P. M. (westward.) Vrrive at Gastonia, 2.16, P. M. Leave 2.17, P. M. NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN. (eastward.) Vrrive at Gastonia, 2.07, A. M. Leave 2.09, A. M. (westward.) Vrrive at Gastonia, 1.11, A. M. Leave 1.12, A. M. LOCAL FREIGHT TRAIN. (eastward.) ' Vrrive at Gastonia, 6.35, P. M. Leave 6.55, P. M. (westward.) Vrrive at Gastonia, 6.30, A. M. Leave 6.55, A.M. THROUGH FREIGHT TRAIN. (eastward.) Arrive at Gastonia, 8.52, A. M. Leave 8.52, A. M. (westward.) Arrive at Gastonia, 4.24, P. M. Leave 4.24, P. M. Connecting at Atlanta for all points West and Southwest. Connecting at Charlotte for all Eastern points. Through Tickets on sale at Gainesville, Seneca City, Greenville, Spartanburg and Gastonia, to all points East and West. G. J. FOREACRE, Gen'l Manager. W. J. Houston, Gen'l Pass. & Ticket Agent. February 17 7 tf C. & L. NARR0W~GATJGE RAILROAD. CHANGE OF SCHEDULE. SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE, 1 Yorkville, S. C.t January 31st, 1881. j THE following Schedule of the Mail and Passenger Trains took effect at 6 o'clock, a. m., on the 31st of January, 1881. going south. Leave Dallas at 6.00 A. M. Arrive at Gastonia at 6.20 A. M. Leave Gastonia at - 6 40 A. M. Leave Pleasant Ridge at 7.00 A. M. Leave Crowder's Creek at 7.10 A. M. Leave Bowling Green at 7.20 A. M. Leave Clover at 7.35 A. M. Arrive at Yorkville at 8.15 A. M. Leave Yorkville at 8.25 A. M. Leave Guthriesville at 9.00 A. M. Leave McConnellsvilleat 9.15 A. M. Leave Lowrysville at 9.35 A. M. Arrive at Chester at 10.10 A. M. going north. Leave Chester at 2.00 P. M. Leave Lowrysville at 2.30 P. M. Leave McConnellsville at 2.55 P. M. Leave Guthriesville at 8.05 P. M. Arrive at Yorkville at 3.35 P. M. Leave Yorkville at 3.45 P. M. Leave Clover at 4.25 P. M. Leave Bowling Green at 4.35 P. M. Leave Crowder's Creek at 4.45 P. M. Leave Pleasant Ridge at 4.55 P. M. Arrive at Gastonia at 5.20 P. M. Leave Gastonia at 5.40 P. M. Arrive at Dallas at 6.00 P. M. JAMES MASON, Superintendent. February 3 5 tf JOB*PRINTING. OWING to our superior facilities with the best machine presses, an abundance of type and first-class appointments throughout our office, we are prepared to execute ALL MANNER OF JOB PRINTING in superior style, and at prices that will compare with New York or Philadelphia charges for t he same quality of work and materials. We have recently made a reduction in prices for the following classes of work, to which v we invite the attention of business men: HILL HEADS. For 500 For 1000 Half-sheet Bill Heads, $3.00 $5.00 Fourth-sheet Bill Heads, 2.25 3.50 Sixth-sheet Bill Heads, 2.00 3.00 Monthly statements at same price of sixth-sheet bill heads. We will fill an order for bill heads, giving any desired number of either size of sheet at proportionate prices. I LETTER HEADS. For 500 For 1000 Commercial Note, $2.15 $3.25 Packet Note, 2.25 3.60 Letter (large size) .".... 3.00 5.00 For the at ive work we use a superior quality of paper, an I guarantee entire satisfaction in every instance. .s We also give special attention to the printingof Briefs, Arguments and Points and Authorities, which we fu mish strictly according to the requirements of the Justices of the Supreme Court, and in proof reading exercise the utmost care to ensure accuracy. We are prepared 10 iurmsn an uumr kuiuh ?? printing, from a visiting card to a large volume, and will be pleased to furnish estimates for any style of work desired. Address, L. M. GRIST. Yorkville. S. C. -mm ? nnr P V 4 D n 'JL'tiHi X liiviv 1uaivj7uu m aujui THE undersigned would respectfully announce to tne public that bis MARBLE YARD, near the Railroad depot, is in full operation, and th..t he is now well prepared to furnish anything in his line of business at the LOWEST CASH PRICES. Tombstones for children furnished for from $3.00 upward ; for adults from ' $8.00 upward. Monuments and Tomb Stones designed and finished in the most elaborate style, and in point of workmanship and material, equal to the work of any establishment in the country. Specimens always on hand, to an inspection of which those in want of marble work are respectfully invited. Estimates and other information furnished on application. Work delivered at any point on the Chester and Lenoir Narrow Gauge Railroad, between Chester and Dallas, or at any place between Rock Hill and Winnsboro, on the Charlotte, Columbia and Augusta Railroad, free of charge for xansportation. Thankful for the patronage heretofore bestowed ipon my establishment, my determination is to merit a continuance of the same. F. HAPPERFIELD. January 6 1 ly MILL MACHINERYT" WELLS BROTHERS respectfully inform the public that they are prepared to contract 'or the construction of all kinds of MACHINERY AND FIXTURES for the operation of Saw Mills and Corn and Wheat Mills. Their long ;xperience in this line of business warrants them n giving assurance of satisfactory work, which ,vill beguaranteed in all cases, and at reasonable jrices. Would be pleased to hear from all paries contemplating the erection of mill or similar machinery. We are the owners of the exclusive right of a node of dressing MILL STONES, by means ot vhich we will guarantee a Mill of not less than welve-horse power, which grinds twelve bushils of grain per hour, to increase the production o twenty-four bushels per hour. Adaress us at forkville, S. C., or Whitaker's, S. C. W. S. WELLS, J. W. WELLS. M. R. WELLS, % I. G. WELLS. March 24 12 3m* CHE WILLIAMSTON FEMALE COLLEGE . ri ESPECTFULLY offers its services to those [1, parents who desire to secure for their daughers the thorough and symmetrical cultivation of heir physical, intellectual, and moral powers, t is conducted on what is called the "ONEITUDY" PLAN, with a Semi-Annupl Course of Itudy; and by a system of Tuitional Premiums, ts low rates are made still lower for ALL who verage 85 per cent. No Public Exercises. No "Receptions." Gradlation, which is always private, may occur eight imes a year. For full information, write for an Illustrated Catalogue. Address Rev. S. LANDER, President, Williainston, S. C. November 4 45 ly CLEANSING AND REPAIRING. rHE undersigned would respectfully inform the public that he is prepared to cleanse garments of any fabric whatever, rendering them erfectly clean, and if unfaded, restoring tbem to lie original brightness and lustre of tne goods. )o not throw away your old clothes, but have liein cleaned and made to look as well as new. Vork promptly done, and at the most reasonale prices. THOMAS BALLARD. August 12 29 tt . R. SCHORB'S PHOTO-GALLERf, 1ST HOUSE EAST OF THE JAII. A SUPERIOR Skylight, a gallery with every V convenience, ana a determination to do my est, enables me to promise satisfaction to all in -ant of correct and nattering likenesses. Cloudy reather is as good or better than sunshine for all ubjects, except small children. January 27 4 tf TANNER ENGINES. f HAVE just received a sample AGRICULTUL RAL ENGINE, six-horse Power, with Patnt Spark Extinguisher. Call and inspect the Daisy." T. S. JEFFERYS, Agerit. February 17 7 tf