University of South Carolina Libraries
Humorous Department. "Waked up the Fort."?A month before the bombardmeut of Fort Fisher began, the celebrated powder explosion occurred, which was intended to blow down this solid earthwork, a mile in extent, with forty feet traverses every few yards. Its ridiculous failure is well remembered. The night after the explosion of the powder ship some of our pickets on the beach were captured and carried on board the Admiral's ship. Among them was a very solemn looking fellow who sat silently and sadly chewing tobacco. As there was intense curiosity among the officers of the fleet to know the result of the remarkable experiment, one of them asked the solemnlooking "Reb" if he was in the fort when the powder-ship exploded ; to which he replied in the affirmative?but without exhibiting the Jea3t interest in tne matter; wnereupon me officers gathered around him and began to ask questions: "You say you were inside the fort?" "Yaa3 ; I was thar." "What was the effect of the explosion?" "Mighty bad, sir?powerful bad." "Well, what was it ? Did it kill any rebels, or throw down any of the works?" "No, sir; hit didu't do that." "Well, what did it do ? Speak out, damn your eyes." "Why, stranger, hit waked up pretty nigh every man in the fort!" The Irrepressible.?They were all out at the Springs?father, mother, and the fiveyear-old boy. After an invigorating bath they went up on the hill to the "chicken-soup" spring, and while regaling themselves with the delightful drink, the little one looked at the bubbling, steaming water a moment, and then asked : ' Mamma, what makes that water boil so?" "God does, my son." "How does he do it?" "Oh ! he builds a big fire under it." "Does he build the fire his own self?" "Yes, I suppose so." The little one reflected a moment, and then asked: "Mamma, does God kick over the chairs and swear at Mrs. God when he has to get up and build the fire ?" The wife glanced suggestively at her husband, but his eyes were fixed intently upon some object away down the river. The silence for a minute was absolutely painful, and then the man softly remarked : "I never before knew the Humbolt to be so low at this time o' year.?Elko Post. The Irishman's Ruse.?"Dennis," said Mike, "d'ye see that? I'll fall overboard, and you'll jump in and rescue me, and we'll divide the reward, which will be a pound apiece." "Agreed," said Dennis, "go ahead." And a minute later Mike was floundering in the river. But no sooner had he fallen in than Dennis, to his inexpressible horror, re membered that he did not know how to swim, and so, instead of springing in and rescuing the drowning man, he stood leaning over the rail, staring at the bubbles where Mike had sunk. Once Mike came up, but Dennis gave no sign. Twice he came up, but Dennis could neither move nor utter a word. For the fatal third time he came to the surface, and faintly exclaimed: "Denny, av ye ain't moighty quick it's only fifteen shillin's aich for recoverin' the body." What a Quaker Wrote to a Watchmaker.?"I hereby send thee .ny pocket clock, which standeth in need of tny friendly correction. The last time it was at thy friendly school it was in no way benefitted or profited thereby, for I perceive by the index of its mind that it is a liar, and the truth is not in it. Purge it, therefore, I beseech thee, and correct it from the error of its ways, and show it the path wherein it should go, and when | thou layest thy correcting hand upon it, see that it be without passion, lest thou shouldst drive it to distraction ; and when thou seest it conformable to the above mentioned rules, seud it home tcr rae, with a just at d true bill, drawn out in the spirit of moderation, aud I will remit to thee in the root of all evil." Cow-Bells.?A farmer called at a store one day, and the following dialogue ensued : Farmer?"Got any cow-bells?" Clerk?"Yes ; step this way." Farmer?"Those are too small. Haven't you any larger?" Clerk?"No, sir ; the large ones are all sold." The farmer started off and got as far as the door, when the clerk called after him, "Look here, stranger, take one of these small bells for your cow, aud you won't have half the trouble in fiuding her, for when you hear her bell you will always kuow she can't be far off." The logic was irresistible, and the farmer bought the bell. The Good Boy.?A well-dressed boy, about ten years old, stood on the walk in front of the Central Hotel the other day eating an apple. A ragged urchin, having a rag bag over his shoulder, stood close by and looked as if he would give his hat and boots for one bite of the fruit. An attache noted the situation and was greatly pleased to see the lad suddenly hand over the apple to the envious rag-picker. "That's a good boy?that was real charity! exclaimed the gentleman, as he patted the boy on the head. "Yes, I felt eorry for him," replied the boy, "and I'd got down to a big worm-hole, too!" A man with a red face, and looking rather shabby, called at a house in the country one Sunday and asked for a drink of cider. The lady of the establishment refused, telling him that she could not accommodate him. He urged her, assuring her that she had hettpr do so. that some nersons had en tertaioed angels unawares. "Yes," she said, "I know that; but angels don't go about drinking cider on Sundays." ftSf He was so drunk that he could not walk, could scarcely move, and only partially articulate. A friend of his came up and upbraided him. "If I were in your place," said the friend, "I'd go out in the woods and hang myself." "If (hie) you were in my place, how (hie) the deuce (hie) would you get to (hie) the woods?" was the squelching reply. ftaf* The following correspondence passed between a gentleman who loaned a friend one hundred dollars and his friend : "Dear Sir?In closing my books I find that you are indebted to me one hundred dollars. Pleas remit. Yours, etc. "Dear Sir?In opening mine I find that I havent' a cent, so I can't. Yours, etc." BST "What a strain that is!" said Mrs. Partington, as she heard an air from Lucia, sung in the highest style by a young lady where she was visiting. "Yes," was the reply ; "it is operatic." "Upper attic, is it? I should think it was high enough to be on top of the house." -? SUstf Time makes all things even. For 27 years a New Hampshire husband kept taunting his wife with the fact that her brother was once in jail. Last week his mother was arrested for setting a barn on tire, and now the wife sniffs and says: "Nice family you sprung from!" A disconsolable Virginian writes money is scarce and taxes devour everything the poor farmer makes. "Why, a man cannot take a drink," he says, "without having ii, dashed with two and a half cents on the State debt and undergoing at the same time a serenade from a Moffett punch bell." IS?" A certain caravan orator at a fair, after a long yarn, descriptive of what is to be seen inside, generally winds up by saying, "Step in, gentleman, step in. Take my word for it vou will be highly delighted when you come out." j$ftc Jam and Jireside, OVER-BEARING GRAPE VISES. Many varieties of grape-vines are liable to over-bear, especially when the soil is not rich, i giving the roots a poor chance to extend, ! owing to its hardness; and in such cases, if a very large quantity of fruit sets, it is best to remove a portion of it when very small, j Take a pair of scissors in June, and clip out 1 from one-third to one-half of the smallest clusters, and what is left will ripen well and ; be worth double what the entire crop would be left upon the vines. There are many places where grape grow- ! I ing is not considered profitable, solely owing j I to an improper management of the vines, i j The soil being naturally not very fertile, and j I perhaps otherwise not well adapted to grape j growing in a careless way, the vines are gen- j erally set where the roots can not easily ex- j pand, perhaps by the side of a walk, in the i grass, or near a buildiug, where they are quite as badly situated, if the soil be stiff and clayey, and the result is, that the vines set i more fruit than the roots can sustain. To obtain the largest possible quantity of well-ripened grapes everywhere, the vines should grow where the soil is naturally rich, or has been made rich by manures, and spaded from twelve to fifteen inches deep, and kept free of weeds and grass. In such a soil the roots of the vines will extend in all directions from eight to fifteen feet, and they will sustain a much larger crop of fruit than they will where the soil is poor and almost impenetrable. The summer pruning of grape vines consists in removing all small shoots that will never become good bearing canes, easily distinguished by any person at all acquainted with the nature of the vines. A certain number of the most thrifty canes of this season's growth must be left entire, to produce next years' crop of fruit, or to afford the buds from which the shoots grow that produce the grapes. After six or eight good caues are thus selected, the other canes may, or may not, be cut back to within two or three leaves of the fruit.?New York Observer. Working Lands in Drouths.?During drouths, crops should be well cultivated, as the working of the soil is always beneficial to the crops, no matter how severe a drouth may be. Then, also, is the best time to eradi cate weeds, as the scorching sun and drying winds soon eud their existence. When farm ers see their crop wilting beneath the rays of the sun, and the ground without any percep tible moisture, having had no raiu for four, six or eight weeks, they are excusable if they feel "blue," or have the "horrors," but during half a century I have never heard of more than a failure of about half of any crop in any part of the country from drouth, and in most /taooo fti.MirrV, rlrMiitha mnxT hp verv severe V^aatJj l<UVSl4?tA UiVUVUtf IMMJ WW w w. j WW.? y yet at least we got an average crop of most things. So let no farmer despair, as we are promised "seed time and harvest" to the end, and well has this promise been fulfilled up t? the present season. When drouths come work the harder, and when the rain comes? as it surely will come?let it find your cultivated crops free from weeds, and then look at them, and see them grow as if by magic. You may say, as you look upon a field of corn twenty-four hours after a soaking rain, "Cau it be possible that this is the same parched up corn that I beheld here yesterday?" The motto that old farmers should have posted up in their kitchens is: "Never despair." Hall the battle of life is won by cherishing a determination to take the world as it comes, and never give up in view of adversity.?Exchange. Early Haying.?The nutricious juices of a plant of whatever kind, whether corn, grass, clover or wheat, is in its stalk and leaves until it blossoms and the formation of the seed commences, when all the virtue of the plant is directed to its perfection. If rye and wheat were cut while in bloom, cattle, sheep, etc.. woald eat it with avidity; but if allowed to stand uutil the grain is ripened, the straw is not only very indigestible but contains very little nutriment. It is the same with grass or clover. If it is allowed to stand till ripe it is comnarativelv worthless. A paper read before the Vermont State Board of Agriculture, says: "After careful consideration, knowing the unsurpassed excellence of early cut hay, I make this statement without hesitation: If the entire hay crop of the State could be secured at the best possible time, its value, when fed, would exceed the worth of the bay now obtained, to getber with all the grain raised in the State, which is fed in connection with the hay." Every farmer has yearly before his eyes, a most convincing argument iu favor of early cut hay, in the avidity with which his stock eat the second crop or aftermath. We believe our farmers would find it profitable to reduce their mowing meadows by one-half, and then give the land the treatment which is so common in Germany, namely, to make it rich enough to produce two or three crops of ear ly cut hay in a season.?Rondout Freeman. Pasturing Sheep and Cows.?Cows and sheep are pastured together in equal numbers by the thrifty farmers of Holland. The sheep to whom scarcely anything in the way of pasturage is objectionable, eat the hard and wiry grasses, which the cows reject, keep the turf closely cropped, improve the fertili ty of the soil by their droppings scattered everywhere about it, and prevent the growth of bushes, weeds and shrubs. In addition to these benefits, a small flock of good sheep would furnish a supply of cheap, wholesome and convenient meat for the household, while their fleece would make a welcome addition to the cash account, and their lambs make good the losses made by the larder. This is surely one of the lessons our own farmers might learn with profit from the practices of other countries. fcST Feed pigs, not hogs, if you waut to make it profitable. We often see accounts of pigs which dress from three to four hundred pounds at eight or nine months of age. There ! can be no doubt but there is profit in feeding such animals. Pigs should be kept steadily j growing from the time of their birth until j they are slaughtered, and receive their proper j feed every day. Milk is the best food at first; then a little bran and meal may be added. I Bran fihonld form nart of the dailv feed from i first to last, as it will keep theru more healthy. ; They should be fed all they will eat up clean during all stages of their growth. j fifear* Do not put your pillows or feather-beds, j if so unfortunate as to have feather-beds, into j j the sun to air, but in a shady place with a i | clear, dry wind blowing over them. If it is j | cloudy, but not damp, and the wind is strong, j it is all the better. This, if practiced-often, j ' will keep well-cured feathers always sweet, j : Badly cured feathers cannot be made sweet, j A hot sun on the best feathers will turn them | rancid. B&* Some sensible writer truthfully says that | "most diseases of cattle are produced by j wroDg treatment?too much feed at one time, too little at another; too rich at one time, too poor at another, &c. If all horses and cattle i were fed and watered and used properly there would be little disease, and all ailments could ; | be cured by simple remedies which every man j has or may have at haud." BST Clay lands usually want underdraining, 1 though surface draining will improve them much. They also want deep and thorough I tillage. The great trouble with them is in a ; wet season, when an impatient farmer is apt! to plow them up while saturated with water, i When so plowed the formation of a seed bed , is impossible. Lime is of great use on clay ; soils. To Cure Bunions.?Bind a fine linen band tightly around the foot, over the bunion ; sew it on if necessary, and wear it day and night; bathe the feet frequently in borax water, using a teaspoouful of pulverized borax to a basin | of water. IgisttUatiMuis funding. LINCOLN'S BRUTUS. Shakespeare's tragedy of "Julius Caesar" is about to be produced iu Baltimore. Tbe striking similarity between two of the greatest tragedies that history records prompted a representative of the Baltimore Gazette to revive the history of the Presidential assassination, and endeavor to ascertain the real motive of Booth in taking Mr. Lincoln's life, and the following is the result: The impression has generally prevailed that Mr. John T. Ford, who was manager of Ford's Theatre at the time the tragedy occurred, was familiar with facts iu couuectiou with the matter that had never appeared in print, and he was asked if such was the case. Mr. Ford remarked that he had frequently been requested to give expression to his views on the subject, but had declined. A general conversation on the subject, however, ensued, the substauce ot whicb, witn Mr. Bora s conversation, we print. It throws some new light on the great tragedy, and will, doubtless, be found of general interest. Mr. Ford said: ADMIRATION OF BRUTUS. John Wilkes Booth was trained from earliest infancy to consider the almost deified assassin Brutus just as Shakespeare immortalized him. His father was named "Junius Brutushis brother is now the bearer of that surname. The great Booth frequently appeared in the play of "Julius Cresar," and not later than 1864 three of his sons acted the three leading characters of the play to an audience that applauded the sentiments of Brutus to the echo. Now trace the assassination of Lincoln. On the morning of April 14th, 1865, Booth, who had conspired for sir. months previous to abduct President Lincoln and convey him a prisoner to the South, was the last guest at breakfast at the National Hotel in Washington. The surrender at Appomatox had ended all chance for him to carry out his original conspiracy. He left the hotel after eleven o'clock that morning and walked up Sixth street to H, and stopped at the Surratt House, where he met the widow who kept it, returning from the religious services of Good Friday, and then in the act of going to her former country place (the vehicle to convey her already at the door) tc collect some money due her, so as to pay what was due by her to the Calvert estate. Booth, when informed of her intended visit, requested her to get some articles belonging to him that he had left at the country tavern, and then, bidding her adieu, he walked up H street to Tenth, and dowu Tenth to the theatre. When he reached there it was about, or probably a little later, than 12 o'clock, midday. There he heard, for the Bret time, that both Presideut Lincoln and General Graut were to visit the theatre that night. The private box was in process of decoration. The White House messenger had been there an hour before to secure its use. I believe? and all reliable written or oral testimony confirms that belief?that then and there the terrible thought of assassination first suggested itself. It came like this: "If I failed to serve the South in my conspiracy to abduct, I can uow be her Brutus. BOOTH'8 DECLARATION BURNED. This thought fastened ou his braiD?led him to go from the theatre toward the Kirkwood House to have a conference with some of his old conspirators. John Surratt was away, O'Loughlin was in Baltimore and Arnold was in a sutler store at Fortress Monroe They knew the abduction conspiracy had been abandoned, but Payne, Atzerodt and Harold were in Washington. These latter he got together and conspired with them to kill the President, the victorious General and some of the Cabiuet. He must have written between the time when he parted with his co-conspirators and the hour he again appeared at the theatre a lengthy statement for publication, excusing his intended crime by Roman precedent. When dying he referred to it for his justification. He gave, on the evening of the 14th, a package to an actor, directing its delivery the next day to the National Intelligencer. The actor confesses that he, frightened at the risk he ran, broke the seal, read the inclosed matter and at midnight burned it.. If that package had been preserved it would have revealed the declaration that until noon that day its writer had not premeditated murder, but feeling deeply the humiliation of the South, to the people of which he bore all the love that Brutus ever felt for Rome, he would strike down that night the leading men of the victorious hosts who were then shouting their naeans ef triumnh. When dvinc. O ( ~~ -- f J 5' with his face lit up with the blaze of the burning barn upon the Garret farm, just at the break of day, on the morning of April 24, he muttered some words, a soldier bent over him and caught them from his fast ebbing breath. First, a message for his mother. "Tell her I did it, as I thought, for the best," and then he said, "Tell others that the communication I wrote, addressed to the National Intelligencer, will explain why I did what I did." During the conspiracy trial at the arsenal the Hon. Joseph Holt, the Judge-Advocate, called on John F. Coyle, then the publisher of the National Intelligencer, and asked if that communication had ever been received. His reply was "No." "It was," continued Mr. Ford, "burnt in the grate of a chamber of a boarding house, and a Catholic Priest, now living in Washington, had the fact confessed to him soon afterward. I had the occurrence revealed to me?with the add-1 ed information of the confession?by the party who was the custodian of the package. This fully sustains ray theory that John Wilkes Booth had not contemplated the assassination of the President when he met Mrs. Surratt, at midday, and he never met her again. WILKES BOOTH DESCRIBED. In order to demonstrate that his brain was turned by the poetic and dramatic glamour which transmitted the story of the Roman assassination, said Mr. Ford, it is but just to describe him at this time. In person he was remarkably handsome, with a face of singular manly beauty, in perfect health, less than twenty-six years of age, and almost idolized by his friends. As an actor he could earn at least 810,000 per annum. He was so popular in Boston that during au engagement at the Museum hundreds of ladies have waited to see him leave the stage to go to his hotel. The facts and opinions will, I think, show the great danger of glorifying assassination under any circumstances. Julius Caesar was to Rome "the union of the scholar, soldier and the gentleman." "Mighty Cm3ar! All Rome did love him once not without a cause." Yet Cassius did say? How many ages hence Shall this our lofty scone be acted over, Instates unborn, and accents yet unknown? i Was this, added Mr. Ford, in closing the j interview, the incarnation of dramatic proph-: ecy, suggesting the crime that occurred 1,909 j years after, "in States unborn and accents yet j unknown" when Ctesar died ? Corns and Warts.?These troublesome i excrescences receive much attention in the j domestic columns of our exchanges, and we i copy a few of the hints given to sufferers with | the promise of speedy relief: First. One writer says: "For more than a year I was j afflicted with a large corn on the ball of my j left foot, and also a large wart in the palm of! my left hand. I hit upon a cure for both. It j was a simple application of wood (hickory) ! ashes aod strong cider vinegar sufficient to moisten. I kept it on thirty-six hours, often adding more vinegar to keep up the moisture. The application then was renewed for thirtysix hour3 more, when I found all pain had j ceased, both being entirely destroyed. I then j could wear my boot, and, by a small applica- j tion every night of beef tallow, in one month , all the hard substance that had formed around j the corn had been removed. There is now no 1 trace left of either corn or wart." Second. For soft corns between the toes another writer bids us take a bit of old soft linen or cotton | batting, saturate it thoroughly with glycer- j ine, and then dip into tannic acid and apply to the corns. Third. A physician says that warts may be removed "by rubbing them night and morn with a moistened piece of muriate of ammonia. They soften and dwindle away, leaving no such marks aB follow their dispersion with lunar caustic." Fourth. A chemist suggests still another cure for warts : "Dissolve a few lumps of bi-chromate of potash in a little water. Apply several times each day." Fifth. Aud Hall's Journal of Health directs the sufferer to "dip a stick the size of a knitting-needle into muriatic acid, and touch the top of the wart night aud morning with what adheres to the stick, to effect a painless cure. Buy a small quantity in a glass stoppered bottle, keep out of the way of children, off your clothes and the skin, and you are safe in using it. The Action of Baths.?An article of a very interesting aud instructive nature, on the physiological action of baths, was published in a late number of the Lancet. Summing up, the writer notes that warm baths produce an effect upon the skin directly contrary to that which is brought about by cold water. The cutaneous vessels dilate immediately under the influence of the heat, and although the dilation is followed by a contraction, this contraction is seldom excessive, and the ultimate result of the warm bath is to increase the cutaneous circulation. The pulse and respiration are both quickened in the cold bath.. The warm bath increases the temperature of the body, and by lessening the necessity for the internal production of internal heat, it decreases the call which is made upon certain of the vital processes, and enables life to be sustained with a less expenditure of force. While a cold bath causes a certain stiffness of the muscles, if continued too long, a warm bath relieves stiffness and fatigue. The final effect of both hot and cold baths, if their temperature be moderate, is the same, the difference being, to U3e the words of Braun, that "cold refreshes by stimulating the functions, heat by physically facilitating them, and in this lies the important difference between the cold water system and the thermal mode of treatment." Look to Your Wells.?Here is fresh illustration of how people are poisoned all the while by foul wells: A family living on elevated ground in Hartford, Conn., in a region remarkably healthy in all its natural condiditions, were for years sufferers from various forms of fevers, headaches, and an endless variety of ills, which kept a doctor in pretty constant attendance. At last, three years ago, worn out with this experience, the owner determined to seil and move away, believing the locality to be an unhealthy one. At this juncture, a friend of the family asked and ohtaineH nermission to Ho what, the owner of the place, or at least the physician, should have done long before?make an examination of the premises. He found a privy vault only ten feet from the well 1 It was evident that this was the cause of the continuous illness among members of the family and he obtained leave to remove the bucket from the well, and a promise from the family to go to the barn for their water, where it had been introduced in pipes from the great main that leads into Hartford. From that time forward there was a cessation of the sickness.? Exchange. A House of Our Own.?Next to being married to the right person, there is nothing so important in one's life as to live under one's own roof. There is something more than a poetical charm in the expression of a wife, writing to a friend, who said : "We have our cozy house; it is thrice dear to us because it is our own. We have bought it with the savings of our earnings. Many were the soda fountains, the confectionery saloons and the uecessaries of the market we had to pass, many a time my noble husband denied himself the comfort of tobacco, the refreshing draught of beer, wore his old clothes, and even patched up boots; and I, 0 me! made my old bonnet do, wore the plainest clothes, did the nlainest cookine. Savincr was the order of the house, and to hate a home of our owr, had been our united aim. Now we have it. There is no landlord troubling us with raising the rent, and exacting this or that. There is no fear harbored in our own bosom that in sickness or old age we will be thrown out of house and home, and the money which otherwise would have gone to pay rent is sufficient to keep us comfortable in the winter days of life." Only a Mouse.?Laugh no more, gentlemen, at the cowardice of women where mice are concerned. A severe masculine censor once declared that the uioBt grave and wise gathering of women, for the most important and serious purpose, could be utterly thrown off its balance by the letting loose of a mouse in the room. That was men's theory. Here is fact: "While an Ohio Judge was holding Court, a few days ago, a mouse took advantage of his preoccupations and climbed up inside his pantaloons. The attorneys and attendants became aware of the situation when the Judge suddenly gave a jump, clapped his hand to his legs, and stamped on the floor. The Sheriff rushed to the rescue, and the spectators rose in their seats, not knowing what was about to happen. . The Judge whispered to the Sheriff, a lawyer took the intruder out, and in the general confusion that ensued the mouse escaped." Fancy the howl of derision that would have gone up from "the superior sex" if this had happened in a Court presided over by a woman ! What the Girls Should be Doing.? The taste, skill and industry of the daughters of the family can hardly be put to a better use than in devising and executing floral and vinal adornments for the home. If the porches and verandahs are not already furnished with vines, don't delay another week, but put in some roots of woodbine at once. What a comfort it is in the hot days of summer to have a vine-curtained porch in which to sit. Then there is the arrangement of flower-baskets to look after. For fifteen or twenty cents each, very servicable wire baskets can now be had. and a half-dozen of them filled with suitable plants and vines will go a groat way toward rendering the door-1 yard and porches attractive. Rose culture ought to be added to the accomplishments of our girls. A "rosebud garden of girls" is very pretty poetry ; but a garden-bed of roses, with a bright girl tending it, is an equally pretty fact.? Oolden Rule. Effects of Smoking.?The British Med- i ioal Journal, in speaking of the effect of the habit of smoking upon the general health of boys under 16 years of age, says: "A celebrated physician took for his purpose thirtyeight boys, aged from 9 to 15, and carefully j examined them. In twenty-seven of them he i discovered injurious traces of the habit. In twenty-two there were various disorders of | the circulation and of digestion, palpitation I of the heart, and a more or less marked taste for strong drink. In twelve there was frequent bleeding at the nose, ten had disturbed sleep, and twelve had slight ulcerations of the mucous membrane of the mouth, which disappeared on ceasiug from the use of tobacco for some days. The doctor treated them all for weakness, but with little effect until the ! smoking was discontinued, when health and | strength were soon restored." 5?" An Irish gentleman writes to say that he never found a Frenchman who could pronounce this: "Thimblerig Thistlethawithe thievishly thought to thrive through thick and thin by throwing his thimbles about, but he was thwaried and thwacked and thumped j and thrashed with thirty-three thousand thistles and thorns for thievishly thinking to ; thrive through thick and thin by throwing the thimbles about." But the English people are just as unable to pronounce the French liquid I as the French people to pronounce the English th. But it is still more difficult for any one who is not a Spaniard to pronounce Madrid in Spanish. The d must be at once a dh and u d without being either. Heading for the ^abhatb. CONDUCTED BY REV. ROBERT LATHAN. I Original ] PREACHING. The minister of the gospel is au embasaai dor sent out from the court of high heaven, i Such is the meaning of the word in the Greek New Testament Scriptures. When Christ, after his death, sent his disciples into all the world, the commission he gave them was simply to proclaim, as embassadors, the glad tidings of salvation through the blood of the son of God. Such is still the duty of the minister of the gospel. His business is to proclaim to the world that God, in the plenitude of his love, sent his only begotten son into the world to make an end of sin and bring in an everlasting righteousness. In addition ta this, it is the pleasing duty of the m i n iafor nf tlvo rrnanol fn nrnnloim fo oil UilUIObVI W1 bliv piUV/IQIUi l?V Ull) with whom he may, in any way, come in contact, that whosoever, of Adam's race, will believe on Jesus Christ, shall be saved. Between the apostles sent out by our Saviour and the ministers of the gospel, who ever after have succeeded those apostles, and all other ministers of the gospel to the end of time, this difference mainly existed. The early apostles were chosen with special reference to bearing testimony to the fact that they had been eye witnesses of Christ after bis resurrection. In other words, in order to be an apostle, it was necessary that an individual had seen the Lord after he was risen from the dead. To be a preacher of the gospel, at the present time, this is not necessary. The first apostles had a particular work to perform. They had to fill up the canon of Scripture. In other words, they were required to prepare the New Testament Scriptures. No minister of the gospel has, at present, any such work to do. He dare not add anything to that which is written. This work was finished and completed when John penned the book of Revelation. The great duty of the minister of the gospel now, is to explain and enforce the Scriptures. Preaching and teaching mean about the same thing. - This being a common sense view of the subject, as well as in perfect conformity with the tenor of the Scriptures, it iB manifest that the first requisite in order to preach the gospel, is a thorough and accurate knowledge of the Scriptures. JNo man can teach well what he does not know himself. Whatever the minister of the gospel may know, he must be well versed in the Scriptures. In one respect he enjoys an advantage over every other professional man. The lawyer or physician must read and study a number of huge volumes, but the minister may be eminently successful in his work and be a man of only one book. Every precept he is required to teach, every law he is required to expound, is contained in one book, and that book is the Bible. His duty is not to give his own theories of this or that doctrine or duty, but to declare plainly what the scriptures teach on all subjects, whioh come within the range of his proper work. In order to be a useful minister of the gospel, more than a correct and extensive knowledge of the Scriptures is necessary. He who would engage in the work of preaching Christ and him crucified, must be "apt to teach." In this, to no small degree, lies the call to preach. God has given some men the ability, in an eminent degree, to probe almost any subject to the core, but he has not seen fit to bestow upon them the ability to communicate their .1 t . . ,i r .1 j_ _n tnougnts to otners. 10 otoer worus, an learned men are not "apt" to teach, neither can they become 80. Now we feel safe in saying that the individual who has the power to acquire knowledge, but has not the ability to communicate that knowledge to others, no matter what titles be may have received from ecclesiastical courts, never was called to preach the gospel. The tendency of the age is to degrade the pulpit into a platform, upon which may be displayed the powers of declamation in him who occupies it. Every sensible man knows that much that passes current for preaching in the present day deserves no better name than "rant." The sophomoric tastes of the audience is pandered to, and the poor sinner is neither instructed nor convicted. He is delighted, it may be, but not with the gospel, for there was no gospel in the whole thing. If any one will examine the epistles of Paul, he will discover that they consist mainly in exposition, or in teaching what sinners are to believe and what they are to do. His speeches as recorded in the Acts of the Apostles are, no doubt, a fair specimen of bis preaching. These speeches, or sermons, if that word is preferred, are very different from much of the exercises which are conducted in the modem pulpit. Either Paul did not understand how to preach the gospel, or much that in the present age goes by the name of preaching is no preaching at all. Numbers of men seem to think that there is no other way by which a young man of fair talent can erlorifv God but by becoming a minister of the gospel. This is all nonsense. There are a great number now pretending to preach, who would have done more for the cause of the Redeemer, had they turned their attention to farming. The fact is, there are too many preachers, and there are too few preachers. This is only an apparent contradiction. The harvest is great and the laborers are few. So long as things remain as they now are, there will always be a call for more i laborers in the Lord's vineyard; but there are multitudes now in the gospel ministry who never were called to the work. They selected the profession of the gospel ministry, that they might avoid work and spend a life of honor and ease. Such self-constituted ministers may do some good. Judas Iscariot, for anything that we know to the contrary, did some good. It would be hard to God a man that never did any good. Every minister of the gospel and every Christian congregation should remember that to preach is to teach, and that he is a good preacher who teaches in his sermons wnat God teaches in his word. The object of attending church should be not simply to be interested or pleased, but to be instructed in the things which pertain to eternal life. PAy Your Debts.?Clean hands in matters of money among the young, certainly ought to be the indispensable condition of gentlemanliness. No man who borrows and does not pay, and does not care whether he pays or not, is a gentleman, no matter how witty, or gay, or fine he may be. To speak in good plain English, the man who dreaies himself at another's expense, not knowing how to pay, not caring whether he pays, is a genteel scoundrel 1 And yet such things are done by good-natured folk, by kind-hearted people, by persons who never probe them morally to ascertain what their tendency is, and i what they lead to. ?6?* The worst case of selfishness that ever has been presented to the public, emanated from a youth who complained because his mother put a larger mustard-plaster on his younger brother than she did on him. SERGEANTA GREENSBO MANUFACTURERS 01 " TROPIC " COO: T. M. D0BS0N & CO., Agent JOHN R. LONDON, Agent, ] A. F. LINDSAY, Agent, McC J. L. CARROLL, Agent, Ches August 2 A. WILIilFORD, BOCK HILL S. C. MORE FINE STOCK! HORSES AND MULES! BOCK HILL 3 ALE STABLES. I WOULD respectfully inform the public that I now have for sale, at my stables in Rock Hill, FORTY HEAD of fine Kentucky HORSES AND MULES, Which I offer for saleON TIME until the FIRST OF OCTOBER next, at 7 per cent, interest, for Note and good security. BARGAINS IN HORSE FLESH, j Either on the above terms or for Cash. An in- j spection of my stock, by all in want of good ani- | male, is respectfully solicited; and if you are in a trading mood and do not wish to buy, bring up your costanogasand exchange them for good serviceable Horses or Mules with which to cultivate your crops, or serve in harness or under the sad- i die. A. WILLIFORD. FODDER WANTED. J THE undersigned will pay the highest Cash I prices for 10,000 POUNDS OF GOOD FOD- I DER, delivered at his Livery and Sale Stables at Rock Hill. A. WILLIFORD. March 7 10 tf T7S JEFFERYS, AGENT FOR Standard Fertilizers, Machinery of almost every variety adapted to this country, such as Steam Engines, French Burs, Bolting Cloths, Portable Wheat and Corn Mills, Turbine Water Wheels. Smutters, Shafting, and Mill Machinery of any kind desired. The Celebrated Winship Gins, Hall's Self-Feeding Gins, Needlo Gins, Gin-Feeders and Gin Condensers, Gin Saws and Brush Ribs, Ac., Ac. COTTON PRESSES.?The Centennial, Boss and Smith Hand and Power Presses. PRAIRIE CORN SHELLERS, only $6 50; STRAW CUTTERS, $10.0). I keep on hand a good supply of SASH, BLINDS and DOORS, and will furnish Builders, by the quantity, at exceedingly low prices. In a snort time, I will have the latest and best improved Machine for SHARPENING GIN SAWS, which will make the saw as perfect as when the Gin was received from the Factory; giving each tooth the desired briar hook shape. The work is done without removing the saw shaft from Ihe Gin. An expert in GIN REPAIRING will be sent to the Gin Houses, to operate the Machine at reasonable charges. Persons desiring to have their Gins sharpened in the best style, will do well to leave their orders with me, early. A small lot of NAVASSA GUANO on hand. May 9 19 tf NEW ATTRACTIONS AND GREAT BARGAINS. WE OFFER A COMPLETE STOCK OF Family Groceries AND MILLINERY GOODS, CHEAP, FOR THE CASH. Mr. & Mrs. S. B. MASSEY, Chester, S. C. March 28 13 3m IN THE VALLEY, o. yj. THE subscriber is betkinds'of JOB WORK, jHU'y ^jyluk such as Turning, Scroll Sawing, Repairing, Ac. ^g|?KSgi|P? MADE TO ORDER, from common to the ^37 ? finest. Fine Black Walnut Chamber Suits, FRENCH WALNUT SUITS, TRIMMED, & specialty. Just received, another lot of METALIC BURIAL CASES, among them some line CASKETS. Also, WOOD COFFINS AND CASKETS. All I of which will be sold as cheap as can be afforded. I HAVE A HANDSOME NEW HEARSE, 1 which can be had at funerals free of charge, in town ; and in the country at a moderate charge, according to distance. You can find nie at MORRISON'S OLD STAND on Depot street, one door west of Aiken's Cotton Gin Shop. J. M. PARISH. May 9 19 6m DOWN WITH HIGH PRICES! CHICAGO SCALE COMPANY, 68 AND 70 WE8T MONROE ST., CHICAGO, ILL., Have reduced the prices of all kinds of SOCLES! 4-Ton Hay, Stock or Cotton Scale, $60. FORMER PRICE, 9160. All other sizes at a great reduction. pas* Every Scale fully warranted. All orders promplv ( filled. Circulars, Price List, and Testimonials 1 sent upon application. 1 BUY THE CHEAPEST AND BEST. October 4 40 12m ( TAMTJR A GT/EWJT D. D. S.. SURGEON AND MECHANICAL DENTIST, ( A~AFFERS bis professional services JESSfe If to the citizens of this section.i When desired, he will visit the residences of patrons. Teeth extracted without pain i by the use of nitrous oxide gas. Letters addressed to Crowder's Creek, N. C., will meet with i prompt attention. Terms moderate. November 1 44 tf S. K. MARKS, I Wholesale and Retail Dealer in GENERAL FURNITURE, 1 CHESTER. S. C. January 24 4 8}m ( METALIC CASES AND WOOD COFFINS. I HAVE on hand a good assortment of ME- > TALIC CASES AND WOOD COFFINS- ( all styles, qualities and prices?from a FINE CASKET, with Silver-Plated Mountings, worth $200.00, to a PLAIN COFFIN, at $7.00. I am prepared, at all times, to furnish these Coffins at my Despository, or send them any- 1 where in the country. ' JAMES E. SMITH, Agent. 1 January 17 3 tf jTlTSCHORB'S PHOTO-GALLERY, 1ST HOUSE EAST OF THE JAIL. j A SUPERIOR Skvlight, a gallery with every J\_ convenience, and a determination to do my i Best, enables me to promise satisfaction to all in i want of correct and nattering likenesses. Cloudy < weather is as good or.better than sunshine for all I subjects, except small children. i February 28 0 8t : c McCAULEY, RO? Ti* C?, ' the celebrated KING STOVES! PRICE GREATLY REDUCED on Cooking and Heating Stoves, Hollow Ware And-Irons, and Castings of al. jtinds. Also, on PLANTER'S PRIDE' PLOWS and Plow Castings, STRAW CUTTERS, . Corn Shellers, HORSE POWERS, Saw Mills, Ac. 8, Yorkville, S. C. Jock Hill, York county, S. C. onuellsville, York county, S. G. ter, S. C. 31 tf G. H. Q'LEARY. FURNITURE. JN connection with my Saddlery establishment I shall also conduct the FURNITURE BU8IESS, and keep on hand a full stock of articles in that line, consisting of Bureaux, Bedsteads, Tables, Chairs, Lounges, Cottage and Chamber Suites, Ac., of different styles and qualities, and in the various kinds of wood. O. H. O'LEARY. ^ SADDLES. A FULL supply of my own manufacture of /V Saddles, consisting of Gentlemen's, Ladies', Boy's and Wagon Saddles, all of which will be ^Hj sold very cheap, for the cash. G. H. O'LEARY. SUNDRIES. BRIDLES, Halters, Girths, Saddle Bags, Saddle Blankets, Hames, Trace Chains, Backbands, Stirrups, Bridle Bits, Buckles, etc., etc., for sale at G. H. O'LEARY'S. COOKING STOVES. SEVERAL different brands of Cooking Stoves of the best grades, which I will warrant and sell at low figures. Also, cheaper grades of Stoves for sale at G. H. O'LEARY'S. TABLES. &C. TklNING, Teapoy and Office Tables, Tin Toilet B f Sets, Towel Racks, Hat Racks, Suspension ?pnng Beds, etc., etc., at G. H. O'LEAHY'S. HARNESS. A COMPLETE stock of Harness on band, and any kind made to order, at verv low fignres, at G. H. 0*'LEAHY'S. " WHIPS AND UMBRELLAS. A LARGE stoek of Buggy, Wagon and Hiding Whips and Buggy Umbrellas, for sale by G. H. 0'LEAHY. BEDSTEADS. ~~~* A NICE lot of Walnut Bedsteads just received. Also, Maple and Poplar and Cottage Bedsteads for sale by G. H. O'LE ARY. _YORK MARBLE YARD* %. THE undersigned is still conducting the Marfim-A ble Business in Yorkvllle, and would respectI1/7IHI feM 1 c&n 8UPP^y those MENTS OR HEADSTONES with anything in his line, and at the lowest casu prices. Monuments designed and finished in the most elaborate style, and in point of workmanship and material warranted equal to the work of any establishment in the country. Head and Footstones, in various styles, from plain to highly-carved work, tarnished at short notice, and satisfaction guaranteed. Specimens usually on hand, to an inspection of which, those in want of marble work are respecttally invited. Estimates and any other desired information cheerfully given at any time. Work delivered at any point on the Chester and Lenoir Narrow Gauge Railroad, between Chester and Dallas, or at any place between Rock Hill and Winnsboro, on the Charlotte, Colombia and Augusta Railroad, free of charge for transportation. Thankful for the patronage heretofore bestowed upon my establishment, my determination is to merit a continuance of the same. P. HAPPERFIELD. January 31 ly VOBITFIF 1,1? SALE AND FEED STABLES. THE undersigned respectfully /x. A inform the pubiicthat tney have /wa formed a partnership for the purpose of conductmg SALE AND FEED STADLES in the town of Yorkville, and will have constantly on hand HORSES AND MCJLESof all grades, which will be sold CHEAP for cash, or on favorable terms on time?note and approved security, payable the first of October, 1878. FEEDING AND GROOMING. We would also call attention to the fact that we are well nrenared to BOARD horses or mules hv the day, week, month or single meal. Animals placed in our care will be well fed and well treated, at the LOWEST PRICES. Persons coming in from the country and leaving their horses at our Stables can have the satisfaction of knowing that while they will be properly cared for, they will also be more secure tnan when hitched up in some back lot, liable to break loose and stray off, or be Rtolen. Give us a trial, and we guarantee satisfaction. * Stables near old Masonic Hall. We wish to buy Corn and Fodder, for which the highest cash prices will be paid at our stables. WHITAKER A WILLIFORD. January 10 2 ly BLANK BOOK MANUFACTORY STATIONERY. AND BOOK BINDERY. THANKING the public tor liberal past patronage, I now invite attention to my complete stock of STAPLE AND FANCY STATIONERY. consisting, in part, of Flat Papers, Midlum, Folio Post, Demy, Letter and Note. Blank Books, of every variety; Envelopes, Slates, Ink, Ac, Fancy Stationery, Gold Pens and Pencils, PenKnives, Writing Desks, Ac. Also, BOOK BINDING DONE. in all its various branches. Sheet Music, Periodicals, Law Books, Ac., bound in any style desired. Ola Books rebound and repaired. PBIHTED BILL AND LETTER HEADS A SPECIALTY Orders promptly attended to, at lowest cash prices. E. R. STOKE8, 155 Main Street Columbia S. C. ROSE'S HOTEL, KUKKVlLtG, S. t. l>Wk?'*^1 THIS HOUSE has been tborAiVifcjJ 0UKhly renovated from cellar to 1 garret, end newly furnished, ineluding GRAFTON'S PATENT 3PRING BEDS, In view of the times, our motto is a full House at a moderate price. TERMS?$1.50 PER DAY, OR 50c. PER MEAL. Sample Rooms reserved especially for Commercial travelers. HENRY W. SMITH. August 30 84 tf CLEANSING AND REPAIEINIL THE undersigned would respect'ully inform the public that he is prepared to cleanse garments of any fabric whatever, rendering them perfectly clean, and if unfaded, restoring tnem to * the original brightness and lustre of the goods. Do not throw away your old clothes, but have them cleaned and made to look as well as new. Work promptly done, and at the most reasonable prices. THOMAS BALLARD. September 6 36 tf BARBER SHOP. P1XHOSE in want of an EASY SHAVE, a feshJL ionable and stylish cut of hair, or a pleasant and luxurious Shampoo, are reminded that nr. -nJLe-l tk. i^TAnan. rnua. DA.LiljAXVD, rrulCMUl UI iuu iiivivuourial. ia still Id business, in his old Shop next door to the Enquirer building, where it will afford him great pleasure to wait upon all who may desire his services. Razors honed and sharpened, and any other work of that kind promptly done. THOMAS BALLARD. January 10 2 tf Ibe fJotMlt GNquitet. turm8 in advance ? One copy, one year. $ 3 00 One copy, six months, 1 50 One copy, three months, 75 Single copy, 10 Two copies, one year, 5 00 Ten copies, one year, 25 00 To persons who make up clubs of ten or more names, an extra copy of the paper will be * furnished one year, free of charge. Advertisements inserted at One Dollar per square, for the first insertion, and fifty cents per square, for each subsequent insertion. A square oonsists of the space occupied by eight lines of this size type. Contracts can be made for three, six or twelve months, and a reduction obtained From the regular transient rates.