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~~~ fmrnarfltts ^epttmeni | JOSH BILLINGS ON MARtflAGE. Marriage iz a fair transaction on the face ov it. But thareiz quite too often put up jobs in it It iz an old institushdto, older than the pyramids, and az phull ov hyrogliphicks that xioboddy kan pane. / History holds its tongue who the pair waz who fust put on the silken harness, and promised tew work kind in it, thru thick and thin, up hill and down, and on the level, rain or shine, survive or perish, sink or swim, drown cr flote. But whoever they waz they must hav made j a good thing out of it, or so menny ov their j posterity would not hav harnessed up and ' drov out. Thare iz a grate moral grip in marriage; it iz the mortar that holds the soshull bricks together. But there ain't but darp few pholks, who put their money in matrimony who conld set i down and giv a good written opinyun whi on | arth they cum to did it This iz a grate proof that it iz one of them natral kind ov acasidents that must happen, i:_* UI_J_ a * i.u _i ii 1 jisl uirus ujr uut ui cue uwi, wueu ciiej uav feathers enuff, without beiug able tew tell why. Sum marry for buty, and never diskover their mistake; this iz lucky. Sum marry for money, aDd?don't see it. Sum marry for pedigree, and feel big for six months, and then very sensibly cum tew the conclusion that pedigree ain't no better than skim milk. Sum marry tew pleze their relashuns, and are surprized tew learn that their relashuns . don't care a cuss for them afterwards' Sum marry bekauze they hav been highsted whare else; this iz a cross match, a bay and a sorrel; pride may make it endurable. Sum marry for love without a cent in their pocket, nor a friend in the world, nor a drop ov pedigree. This looks desperate, but it iz Mhe strength ov the game. If marrying for love ain't a suckcess, then matrimony iz a ded beet Sum marry bekauze tha think wiiumin will be skarse next year, and liv tew wonder how the crop holds out. Sum marry tew git rid ov themselts, and discover that the game waz one that two could play at, and neither win. Sum marry the seckond time to git even, aud bud it a gambling game, the more they put down, the less they take up. Sum marry tew be happy, and not finding it, wonder whare all the happiness on earth goes to when it dies. Sum marry, they kan't tell whi, and liv, they kan't tell how. Alraoste every boddy gits married, and it iz a good joke. Sum marry in haste, and then set down and think it careful over. Sum think it over careful fust, and then set down and marry. Both ways are right, if they hit the mark. Sura marry rakes tew convert them. This iz a little risky, and takes a smart missionary to do it. Sum marry coquetts. This iz like buying a poor farm, heavily mortgaged, and working the ballance ov yure days tew clear oph the mortgages. Married life haz its chances, and this iz just what givs it its flavour. Every boddy luvs tew pnool with the chances, bekauze every boddy expekts tew win. But i am authorized tew state that every boddy don't win. But, after all, marrid life iz full az certain as the dry goods bizzness. Nomankan swear exactly whare he will fetch up when he touches calico. Kno man kan tell jist what calico haz made up its mind tew do next. Calico don't kno even herself. Dri goods ov all kinds iz the child ov eircumstansis. Sum never marry, but this iz jist az risky, the disease iz the same, with no other name to it. The man who stands on the bank shivver-1 ing, and dassent, iz more apt tew ketch cold, ! than him who pitches biz hed fust into the j river. Thare iz but phew who never marry bekauze'they won't; they all hanker, and most of them starve with slices ov bread before them (spread on both sides,) jist for the lack ov grit. Marry yung ! iz mi motto. I hav tried it, and kno what i am talkin ; about. If enny boddy asks yu whi yu got marrid, j (if it needs be,) tell him, yu don't recollekt. Marriage iz a safe way tew gamble?if yu | win, yu win a pile, and if yuloze, yu don't, loze enny thing, only the privilege ov living dismally alone, and soaking yure own feet. I repeat it, in italicks, marry yung ! Thareizbutone good excuse for a marriage late in life, and that iz?a second marriage. * ^ THE PAWNED ACTOR. The celebrated tragedian, Mr. Cook, was always fond of a frolic on his benefit night, declaring that he never took liberties with his friends at any other time. It once happened, during an engagement at Philadelphia, that on such an occasion he was short of money, and at a loss to raise the wind for the accustomed breeze. In this dilemma, he started up town in a speculative mood, determined to "inspirit" in some way or other. Having reached the corner of Callowhill and Eighth streets, he cast his eyes toward the Delaware, and perceived one of those enticing signs of three golden balls. He turned the corner, and entering the fatal door, addressed the man behind the counter thus : "My name is Cooke. This is my benefit night. The manager can't do without me. I am up for Richard the Third. I want some liquor. I have no money. Now, I propose to hypothecate my royal person for ten dollars, and you may lay me on one of your shelves." The joke was a queer one, and the pawnbroker paid the ten dollars, and Cooke was laid up. The theatre that night was crowded, and at 7 o'clock the manager came forward to apologize, stating that, with the consent of the audience, the performance would commence with a farce. He had sent in different directions but was unable to find Mr. Cooke in the city. He presumed the tragedian would be forthcoming in the course of tkn n?vt half hnnr. As the mailacer retired he was told that a boy wished to see him in the green-room. He found the boy, who presented a note written in ciphers, which he at length translated thus: "My dear : I am pawned for ten dollars : send and redeem me, or it will be impossible for Richard to be himself to^night. Yours, Cooke." The manager started immediately after the fixed star, and found him nicely shelved, with a plate of crackers and cheese and a bottle of brandy by him. In the button hole of his coat was a paper, marked "No. 1,273, pawned for $10." The amount was paid, a hack called, and Mr. Cooke and the manager returned to the theatre, where the former had just time to dress and commence, "Now is the winter of our discontent," etc. It is said that he never played Richard better or received more applause. An eccentric friend of ours, says the Litchfield (Ct) Enquirer, stepped into a store in a village, which shall be nameless, where some "colored bretherin" were doing a little trading. "Ah! Mr. ," said our friend, "you have your cousins in I see." The young merchant said nothing, but in a few minutes returned, after the sable customers had departed. "I hope you won't take any offence at what I remarked here just now," said he. "Oh ! no," said the merchant, "I never take offence at anything you say." "Glad of it," replied our quizzer, "the niggers are as mad as the d?1!" And then he sloped, narrowly missing a flying yardstick. ftariing lot the iahbath. OONDUOTKD BY REV. ROBERT LATHAN. [Original.1 THE PROGRESS OF CRIME. It seems that the world is in confusion. Things appear to be turned upside down. What the end of these things will be no one can tell. The mind of the sober and reflecting man is filled with forebodings. Things are not drifting; they are rushing like a mountain stream to some point where they may disgorge themselves. Crime is evidently on the increase. The natural order of things is reversed. A change must soon take place, or ruin will follow. The sins of the age are adultery and drunkenness. These are not simply sins against God; but they strike at the very foundation 01 civilization. jjrunxenness destroys all order, anc^ adultery destroys all social compact It is the bane of civilization, because it,destroys the peace and quiet of home?degrades man to the level of the brutes, and opens the flood-gate that social evils of all kind may sweep over the land. As a result of this, we have political bribery, peculation by those in high places, and corruption, vile and revolting. Swindling has become a trade. Men learn it as the painter learns to use his brush, or the mechanic his tools. That these two sins,mgaiust the welfare of society, are on the increase, no one will doubt who has eyes and will see with them. The facts stare us in the face. To the moral philosopher and statesmen, the present condition of things in our country presents an interesting problem. The conclusions reached would not materially differ. To the practical man with a moderate knowledge of history, the problem is easily demonstrated. Examples in history of a similar state of things are not wanting. The principle upon which the practical man reaches conclusions, is a correct one. It is simply that like produces like. This is the rule by by which he solves all abstruse questions, and his results obtained in this way, never deceive hira. Our country is fast rushing to what France was a short time since. Soon it will be what France is to-day, unless a change is speedily effected. Corruption produces decay as surely in morals, as in animals and vegetables. So soon as life departs, putrefaction takes place. There is no remedy. The only preventative is to foster and retain the vital principle. It is time some persons was beginning to think of this. It will soon be too late. The Goths and visi-Goths will be upon us. Professed Christians should, at such times as the present, place themselves promptly on the Lord's side. The day is not far distant when every man will need the sustaining grace of God. It will be too late when our locks are shorn and the Philistians are upon us, to attempt to muster courage and strength to meet the conflict. Now is the time. It is far easier to prevent crime than to get rid of its terrible consequences when it is once perpetrated. It requires comparatively but little effort to avoid miugling with the heathen, and learning their way, to what it does to avert the awful consequences of such a course. It requires no effort to commit a crime that may be attended with a a train of evils which generations cannot atone for. God does visit the iniquities of the parents upon the children. This is simply a fact, and wise men ought to act in strict accordance with it. [Original.] DO YOU LOVE CHRIST? . Amongst the twelve disciples who followed our Saviour, and were witnesses of his mighty works, one was a traitor. No doubt he at sometimes admired the character of Christ, and often, perhaps, he thought he loved him. That Judas did not love Jesus is the plain declaration of the Bible, and is demonstrated by the fact that he betrayed him into the hands of his enemies. The world has pre" J lt-t J<ni Jotftln tttlt A oil bCllieu UlUiijr luuivtuuais nuu puoocoocu uu the leading characteristics of Judas Iscariot. A minute analysis of the mental and moral traits of Judas would be interesting. This is, i however, not our present purpose. All that we have iu view is to show that there is a liability for any one to think and act as if he loved the Saviour, when in reality such is not the case. We think the root of the matter never was in Judas. He never was, we think, a regenerated man. For selfish ends, he connected himself with the Saviour. No doubt, he lovecl money to excess. He seems to have I acted as treasurer amongst the disciples. The prospects of this position induced him to follow Jesus. It is probable that he expected that Christ would restore the kingdom of Is| rael, and the position of treasurer would be a lucrative oue. It matters not, however, what were the motives which induced him to become a disciple of Jesus; they were wrong motives. He was not possessed of a love ; which enabled him to resist temptation and endure until the end. | Does not the case of Judas suggest the ini quiry, "Do I love Jesus ?" How can I dei terraine this momentous question ? How am II to know that I will not, sometime or other, ! betray Jesus into the hands of sinners ? Evidently a simple profession of religion will not warrant any one in concluding that he will not turn traitor. Judas was a professor of ! religion. He was a preacher, and so far as | we know, just as successful as any of the j twelve disciples. Any one will see that it i is no easy matter to distinguish between the ! true child of God and the man who has all j the elements of a traitor. There is a way to ! get at a satisfactory solution of this important ! problem. Love for the brethren is a test of ! our love of Jesus. By brethren is not meant ! onmn nliiirnli f\f nf tho como 1 UJC111UCIO UA tuv; V/UUAWU \JL Ui bliv CMUJV : family ; but all who follow Jesus. One of the : peculiar characteristics of the religion of Je1 sus Christ, is that it fills the soul with love I for God and man. The n^an who truly loves ' the Saviour, loves every one who manifests, by a godly life, an attachment for the Saviour. There is nothing clanish about his love. He ' cherishes a warm and ardent love for all that j love Jesus, not because of any earthly position they may hold; but simply because they love Jesus. Another test of the genuineness of our love, is found in the state of our mind towards sinners. The ardent desire of the individual, who sincerely lores "Jesus, is that sinners may be convicted of their sins, converted from the error of their ways, and turned unto the Lord. In one word, his earnest desire is that sinners may be saved, and there is joy in his heart when a sinner is turned to God. Another evidence of true love, is a willingness to make sacrifices for Jesus. The grace of God makes every man a martyr. It is given to every regenerated individual, not only to believe in Christ, but also to suffer for him. This endowment is tested continually as we journey through this world. In the providence of God, we are called upon to make sacrifices of various kinds and characters. The true Christian is subjected to various trials, all of which, in the language cf the world, are attended with much loss. The spirit with which our losses are borne, and our sacrifices made, tests our love. j CMtdvcu's department. | [Original.] j WHAT MAKES THE MAN ? Plato, one of the greatest of ancient philos-: ophers, defined man to be a two-legged ani- ! raal without feathers. Diogenes, one of his i pupils, plucked the feathers off a chicken and turned it loose in the school room, exclaiming at the same time, "There goes the man of Plato." Although any one can see the absurdity of Plato's definition, still it is not very easy to give a definition of man that is not liable to some objection. Some boys seem to think that a little property, a fine suit of clothes, a little patch of hair on the chin, and a dog, a gun, and a fine horse, are the primary elements of a man. Others think that great physical developments, such as a giant possesses, makes a man. These things may make a man according to Plato's definition, but not in the proper sense of the word. The most indispensable things to make a man, is what is usually called common sense. The want pf this cannot be compensated by wealth, birth, nor even by mental powers. A human being without common sense is little better than a two-legged animal without feathers. An individual may enjoy many advantages, and in a certain sense, improve them; but if-he be destitute of common sense, he is little better than the veritable fool. Another element that enters into the idea of man in its proper sense, is a good moral character. Upon this depends mainly the position we are to occupy in society. To take the first place in civilized society, we must be sober and truthful. No community can be induced to place implicit confidence in the drunkard or liar. For a time, such an individual may enjoy the favor of his fellow men, but only for a short' time. Fixedness of purpose is also necessary to make a man. The individual who is continually changing his plans, will seldom accomplish much. Life is too short to admit of such a course. We must deliberate slowly and act promptly. These things constitute some of the elementary principles of a well-ballanced mind. Such a mind may not secure to an individual the praises which are bestowed upon men of genius; but it will make a useful man?a safe man?a man that can be trusted. ? * [Original.] READING. ' In this country, and in every other on this earth, there are a great many young people that are cut off from associating with the refined and cultivated in society. They are poor?born poor?and many of them are destined to remain poor. This simple fact is enough. Wealth elevates an individual into the society of the elite, and poverty assigns him an humble position. There is, however, a way by which the sons and daughters of the poor may be brought into immediate contact with the great minds of every age. This is simply by reading. Any individual can learn to read. There is no boy or girl that has arrived to the age of fifteen, who is excusable for being unable to read or write. It is no use to plead poverty or a want of an opportunity. This will not meet the case. Some of the most polished scholars the world has ever produced, were born poor, and spent their early days amid scenes of penury. To be able to read may not be regarded a very great attainment, from the simple fact that it may be accomplished by any on& The want, of it, however, is a great want. It makes us dependant Cuts us off from as-> sociating with the great and good of past[ ages, and forces us to plod our way through this world in continual uncertainty. If the boys and girls of this country would save a little of the money that they are accustomed to spend in foolery and finery, and invest it in books,* and devote some of the time they usuallv SDend in workincr mischief, in read y -A W ing these books, they would find pleasure and save money at the same time. It is distressing to know how little some young people read. It is more distressing to know how little moral information they possess. Ignorance is both a disgrace and a sin. We mean just what we say. The young woman who spends all her time in fixing up ribbons and trash, ought to hold down her head in shame. The young man who takes more pleasure in dogs and guns than in reading, ought to look upon the ground in shame and confusion. Let everything have its proper place. The most important first. Read first and then fool with ribbons and trash and dogs and guns. The latter may be necessary for the sake of variety; reading is essential t? our mental culture and higher development. ? -? Not Yet.?"My son, give me thy heart," said the Lord Jesus to a little boy. "Not yet," said the little boy, busy with has bat and ball; "when I grow older I will think about it." "My son, give me thy heart," said the Lord Jesus to the young man. "Not yet," said the young man, "I am just going into business. When I see it prosper I shall have more time to attend to the mat-1 ter." Business did prosper. "My son, give me thy heart." "Not yet," said the man of business; "I am pressed now. When my children are well settled in life I shall be better able to attend | to religion." He lived to be an old man. "My son, give me thy heart." "Not yet," he cried; "I shall soon give up ' trade, and then I shall have nothing else to do but to read and to pray." And so he died, lie put off to another time what should have been done when a nV.il/? TTa thorafinra rlior) its Vipi hnH livpd. VU11U* JIXV VAV* V v*?w* w aav *??? >. , ? } without God.?S. S. Gem. How Two Children Were Saved.? Some time ago, in India, two little children were asleep in a bungalow?a bungalow is a house in India?when a tiger came out of the jungles?jungles are thick woods?smelling after something to eat. He smelt the chil- j dren, and broke into the bungalow after them. ! But the first thing the tiger saw was a looking-glass, and in the looking-glass he saw a j tiger. The tiger did not know it was himself, j so he growled and grew angry, and the tiger i in the looking-glass growled and grew angry, j That made him furious, and he sprung at the ; tiger in the glass, which, of course, smashed j the glass into a thousand pieces, and it frightened the tiger so, that he was glad to run off as fast as his legs could carry him. So this was the way that God saved these dear little children. And the religion of Jesus Christ teaches children that it is God who takes care of them. How happy it will be i when children in India as well as in England i shall believe this. i # I i A Story with a Point.?A Syrian convert to Christianity, as the story goes, was urged by his employer to work on Sunday, but he declined. "But," said the master, "does not your Bible say that if a man has an ox or an ass that falls into a pit on the Sabbath day, he may pull him out ?" "Yes," ansj wered Hayob, "but if the ass has a habit of ; falling into the same pit every Sabbath, then the man should fill up the pit or sell that ass." The story has a sort of a swivel moral which will fit a great many disputed points in these days. I Agricultural ? epartuictit. From the Southern Oultivator for October.. DIVERSIFYING CROPS. For some time this has been a very popular theme with agricultural writers. It is indeed a most important subject, and one that will very soon be forced upon the attention of so intelligent a class ofmen as the Southern farmere, by more potent influences than lecturing, and scolding and fault-fiuding articles. Gene&l laws control the character of the industry which prevails in any given locality not only in general, but in detail. When circumstances and conditions change, a little time is required for a new adjustment, but it will certainly come. Great revolutions in farm econmy cannot be achieved in a day nor a year? we have first the blade, then the stalk and last of all the ripe ear of corn. It may be laid down as a general rule that in business matters men will pursue that course which will yield the most money in the shortest time. We decry our ancestors for cutting down the forest, wearing out the land and . x. .l. i nr:*t- _n it. ? moving tome wtssi. >v im an me new ugiue we have, there is not the slightest doubt, that if placed in exactly the same circumstances that they were, with even the "new lights" to guide us we should do exactly as they did. The course they pursued was a profitable one oflee, but it can no longer be practiced, because the forests are gone and the old exhausted lands^ will not do what the fresh lands did?tfnd-*his failure in the. land "to yield her increase? is causing every one to ask, what shall we do? and the policy that is best under existingcircumstances will soon be developed. I&ra&rficial thinkers point to England, Belgirifiytpd other densely populated oountri^ hold how much can be product^ofc^^pSr area! go and do likewise?forgetting^feat density of population makes labor both effective and cheap, and land exceedingly dear. Uiider such circumstances it is the obvious policy to make the utmost possible out of every square foot of land. Near every large city in this country similar conditions prevail, and therewith a similar policy holds good. Is this so because city people are much wiser and far-seeing than other people ? not a particle of it. Why does cot the market garden, or the market gardener's policy of high culture, extend farther and farther into the country ? Obviously, because the conditions change and they cease to pay. If such a degree of concentration of labor and capital will not pay in our country, how far may we go in the opposite extreme?to the limit our ancestor went who planted 20 to 30 acres to the hand ? By no means, if the same kind of crops and same rxionfifvr nf oqaIi ic M ho mil ft tro fnrd?hnt. if i VUW V* "**V " # J ~ 'I XT?J old ones?when thin in flesh, require collars so small that they cannot be put over the heads of the horses that wear them. It is of eminent importance that the proprietors of teams should see to such minor points; and provide collars that are open at the top or bottom. Every horse should have his own collar and harness as much as every man his own boots and coat. Lines.?The lines are often adjusted in sucha manner, that the heads of both horses are hauled away from each other so far that the team cannot travel easily. At other times their heads are drawn too far inward, toward each other. The lines should be adjusted so that the heads may be held just as far apart as the length of the double whiffletree. Pole.?When a team is attached to a carriage, or lumber wagon, the breast-straps, stay-chains or neck-yoke should be so adjusted that thepole or tongue cannot strike either horse. The tongue is often allowed to have so much play that it whangs the arms or shoulders of the team with terrible force, when the vehicle is being drawn over rough ways. The neck-yoke straps, or tongue-chains, should be drawn up so as to elevate the tongue between shoulders, where the lateral jerking or thrusting will be received by the gearing oa the necks of the animals, rather than against the unprotected arms or shoulders of the team.?S. E. Todd. V8F Sawdust pills, says an eminent physician, would cure many of the ills which flesh is heir to, if people would only make their own pills. VjUAimY VI Vt?V*A AO l*S WW WUiVI TMVWU VHf* M more fcinda of crops are cultivated and the quantities of each somewhat modified, we may possibly go even farther than they did. In the first case no, because the nature, texture and condition of the soil has so changed, that the same labor applied to it, will not produce remunerative crops. When land was firt&flh; superficial and imperfect plowing aasworpd pretty well, because the soil was naturally loose and the subsoil was still perforated with the numerous openings made by decaying roots?these circumstances coupled with the original fertility of the soil, made it possible to raise respectable crops with little labor. Not so now?the soil has lost its original friability and fertility, the perforated subsoil has yielded to an impervious "hard pan," and it is impossible to raise remunerative crop of cotton and corn upon a small amount of labor, or without manure. With such changed conditions it is folly Ao pursue the old, and in former years profitable plan, of applying dear labor to large quantities of land or put in crops requiring much labor?say ten acres in corn and ten. or fifteen acres in cotton to the hand, as the practice formerly was. It will not pay. Tne land can be had cheap enough, but labor is too dear to waste it thus. What then? Why .will all crops requiring much labor, gobd policy to cultivate such) concentrate. Diminish the area devoted to them to.a practicable minimum., manure well, plow, dqwt,* pulverize thoroughly ^establish cunditiytaJft'der which labor may Work to advant&ge and work profitably. What then is to be dole with the rest of the farm?put it in crops which require little labor?and which may be used to advantage at home, if they cannot be sent profitably to market?such as small grains, grasses, clover, fruits, Ac., Ac. These can be converted into stock or' meat or wool or butter or cheese, which will bear transportation to market?but at the same time leave vast heaps of manure at home. Such are the general indications in this matter. Each locality must decide for itself what adjustment it can make with profit. We are no advocates of Utopian theories about raising things at home at double or threble the cost at which they may be bought elsewhere?but itdoesbehoove theSouthern farmer to look keenly and sharply into the matter, and ascertain whether he is not purchasing many things which he might produce cheaper at home, if the matters on the farm were right ly adjusted. HARNESSING HORSES CORRECTLY. ./ When harnessed correctly, a strong hcrae is a powerful animal; but by an imperfect ad; justment of the gearing, many strong teams are shorn of half their strength ; and many are often worried more by an improper fit of the harness, or by a decidedly bad attachment to the vehicle they are drawing, than by all the service they perform. But few teamsters have ever been taught how to harness a horse correctly; and fewer still have learned that there is a right way and a wrong way to hitch a team to a carriage. When a harness is taken from the shop, every part should be adjusted to fit the horse that is to wear it. Back-Band.?The back-band should be let out or buckled up, until it will be neither too long nor too short when the animal is drawing a load. Many a good horse has had a large sore made on his back simply because the back-band of the harness was buckled up too far. ^ Breeching.?The breeching should also be adjusted properly, so that the horse will uot seem like a man in a boy's cart, not like Jt colt wearing the harness of a full-grown horse. Collar.?The collar should fit as neatly to the animal's neck as an easy pair of shoes set' on one's feet. The collar should never begd long that a man can thrust his arm easil+tJ^ tween the neck of the animal and the J<mT I onrl nf the pnllar Manv horses?esneciuilv ^ttisccUiineous Articles. From the Correspondence of the New York dun. A WOMAN 0N~ THE BENCH. My last gave in brief the history of the passage of the Woman's Suffrage act in Wyoming. X will now give some of the practical workings of woman suffrage and woman officeholding. The first action taken under the provisions of this law, was the appointment by the Secretary, as acting Governor, of -Mrs. Esther Morris of South Pass City as a Justice of the Peace for Sweetwater county. Mrs. Morris qualified, "remitted the usual fee of $5" to the Secretary, and entered upon the duties of her office. Nothing unusual occurred for some days; everybody was satisfied with the new Justice, and the new Justice with everybody. One day, however, the wine of bitterness was mixed in her cup of bliss, and notwithstanding her womanly and wifely feeling, she was compelled to drink it. Her better half, who was now left in charge of the domestic department of the firm, had, previous to his retirement to the sweets of dorr.fKatin life nopnaic\nullv tolron a an^tal crlnoa with his friends. Taking advantage of this weakness, some friends waited upon Mr. Morris one day, and having made Mr. Morris drunk, led him into a breach of the peace, then hastened to the esquire's office and lodged a complaint with her Honor against her Honor s "iiege lord and master," that used to be, and demanded a warrant for his arrest. Mrs. Justice hesitated a moment on the bauks of this woman's Rubicon, but like Caesar she was equal to the emergency, and promptly crossed into her lord's dominions, and her former master was dragged before,.^'for 'f"Mr. Morris's head was not s'pfficiehti(Y%i(a>r to comprehend the situation; assert his sovereign rights in comMj^of court, until suddenly brought up. by the'officer in obedience to the Court's order. Seeing that things had changed somewhat, and that Othello's occupation had been at least suspended, he began to expostulate first with the officer, until informed by that functionary that he had no discretion, but was acting under orders from the Court. "Who is the Court (hie) ?" inquired Mr. Morris. On being informed that the occufiant of the bench was the Judge, Mr. Morris ooked at the Justice with a puzzled air, scratched his head in an effort to collect his scattered thoughts, and ejaculated, "Her? her?(hie)?you d fool?she's my wife? (hie)?she is?that's Esther?my wife Esther?you're drunk, or?oh, don't bother me (hie)," and he started to go. "Lock up the prisoner for contempt of court," said Mrs. Morris to the officer. "What have you to say about it, eh?" blurted out Mr. Morris, staggering menacingly toward the Judge. "You will find I have all to say about it. Officer lock him up," replied her Houor. Although badly mixed, Mr. Morris began to get a glimmer of the truth, and began a parley: "Now look here, Mr. Officer, don't you be in a hurry. I didn't mean anything wrong. I want to just talk with my wife a minute. Now, Esther, what's the use of foolin'; you jist git down out 'o there, and go home and behave yourself. I'll tend to this little difficulty myself. Now go right along, the baby wants nursing. I had to give it Mrs. Winslow to get it to sleep when I came down. He's hungry, for he won't use that old bottle, and I don't blame him either. The dishes ain't washed, nor the beds made, neither. And what's more, I ain't goin' to do it any more, now. You hear that. Now start along." By the time Mr. Morris had delivered himself of this, his tone had changed as his feelings warmed from that of expostulation to that of command again, and the officer forced him into the rudely constructed lock-up in "Jrear of h^* Honor's court, and there Mr, Morris was left to reflect upon the situation, and gaze upon the dividing wall between bimieif and wife as the dividing line between nuiu'syiud woman's rights under this new dispensation. On the following morning Mr. Morris was arraigned before her Honor, and in the most sober and subdued manner, and with the deepest humiliation, pleaded guilty, asked the pardon of the Court for contempt, begged its clemency, and then awaited his sentence with humility and resignation. After giving the prisoner a Caudle lecture as amended by the laws of Wyoming, her Honor imposed the usual fine and required the prisoner to give bonds to keep the peace, upon which the Court gallantly offered to let him go, and Mr. Morris vanished. A NEW TALKING MACHINE. There is soon to be exhibited in this city a combination of wood, wire and India rubber?a machine?which can talk in any language; say anything; pronounce distinctly; laugh, cry, hiss, shriek, squeal, sing divinely i. 3 t- _i i. in aito, soprano anu uassu ; m miui i, uu uu^thing of which the human voice is capable. This extraordinary result of ingenuity and perseverance la the invention of Professor Faber, of Vienna and his nephew. The latter has brought it to this country, after an extended tour throughout Europe, during which it has elicited the commendation of some of the greatest scientists of the old world. A reporter visited the Prescott House, yesterday, for the purpose of testing it. It consists of a fancy gilded table, beneath which is a foot lever for moving a bellows above. On top, are a combination of wires, strings, delicate wooden levers, rubber tubes and trestle work forming the speaking machine. Behind is a bellows, which represents the lungs. The air is forced through a narrow aperture into a tube representing the windpipe, and thence into a large swelling representing the glottis. Thence it passes- out through a vent representing a human mouth, with moveable lower jaw, lips and tongue of India rubber. Wires from below push up the jaw and tongue, in intimation of the human mouth and tongue, giving expression to the sound of the rushing air. These wires, and others which act instead of teeth, are , worked by wooden levers, at the end of which are keys. There were fourteen levers and wires, each , creating a different sound when manipulated, bind certain combinations of these sounds profeuce any sound or syllable asked for. A Separate lever makes a laughing sound. Skillful manipulation of all these levers causes the artificial mouth to speak as well as that of a human being, except that there is no inflection and the sound of the final d or t is imperfect, being pronounced like th. The principle is a sort of inverse stenography, combining the component sounds of syllables into perfect words. A small box, furnished with piano keys and filled with wires and wooden slats, produces the singing in combination with a mask made in imitation of the human face and its organs of speech. Madame Faber, a modest looking lady, played upon the keys with great skill. There was no humbug about it Every sentence, short and long, every word asked for, no matter how difficult of pronunciation, in English, French or German, was instantly reproduced with astonishing distinctness. Its style of talking is as follows: "I?am?a?mere?mach?ine?but?I? can?talk?as?well?as?you?sir-r-r." Mr. Faber said that he was seven years endeavoring to produce the sound of i. To show how he succeeded at last, he touched a number of keys and the machine said "Mis?sis?sip? pi. Several of the most difficult words were asked for?such as Bhrimp, sister, Paulina, and the German letters icks, upsilon, tzet, but all were pronounced with the greatest readiness. The utility of the machine may be questioned; but as a curiosity of ingenuity its success cannot be disputed. It is the only one ever perfected. There have been others invented at different periods, but their articulation has been confined to a few sentences. This can articulate anything.?New York Stin, 6th. A WEDDING IN A BAGGAGE-WAGON. The St Louis Democrat, September 12th, says: The rapidity with which marriage ties are dissolved is equalled only by the facility with which they are formed. A case of swift marriage occurred yesterday morning. William Culp, a young farmer of about twentytwo, living near Bunker Hill, Illinois, had won the affections of Melvina Sawyer, a beautiful milkmaid in the said neighborhoodfand his parents not fancying his choice, the young people concluded to defy the fate and eiope. faking the midnight train they arrived about daylight at East St. Louis, at which place they met a fisherman, who told them that if they were bent on getting married Justice Jecko was the man to put them through in the shortest possible time. They came across a baggage wagon, in charge of Wm. Munday and H. L. Mullony, and chartered it for a trip to St. Louis. Arriving on this side of the river long before office hours, they were driven around town until six o'clock, when they halted up in front of Justice Jecko's. The Justice was enjoying the delights of a morning snooze, but on being aroused came forth in his morning gown and inquired what w?a tha matter. "Here's a couple of spring chickens that want to get spliced, answered one of the drivers of the wagon. The Justice looked at the young man, and saw at once that he was from the rural districts. He asked him how old he was, and the bridegroom, rubbing the place where the whiskers ought to be, said he was "plenty old enough to get married." The bride had on a pair of shoes that resembled the last remains of camp-meeting, and a bonnet that might have been brought from Paris in a balloon. 'Her hair was disarranged, and she looked as though she had iust come oat of a hurricane "Miss, I think you are too young to^fl married," suggested the Jpstice. ? , ~ "No, I ain't; I'm nineteen?I'm old enough and big enough both." The young couple were sworn^m, tp thef| age, and their statements being satisfactory, they were told to stand up. The ceremony was over in half a minute, the baggage wagon men acting as witnesses, and then the happy couple made a bee line for the river, fnfcench ing to return at once to Bunker Hill^Spl young man remarked, as he was wSjpeTmg away, that he "didn't care a durn what the old man might say now, as he had gotf what he came after." The Late John C. Rives.?We have been reading a little of the life of the late John C. Rives who was for many years the sole proprietor of the Congressional Olobe, and truly was he a good and generous man. On one occasion he asked his confidential clerk, an old pressman, who had worked and sweated in his service many years "how his "(Mr. Rives's) bank account stood." The old fellow told him "upward of $5,000." Mr. Rives handed him a check for a large sum, telling him to "take it; that he had worked hard for him, and in future he must not work "? krt - J 11 A 4 I A klo ^Aitamon tnn a au uaiu. At auuuici i*iuju iuo lui^uiau uuc elected to some fat office and retired from the Globe office. Some weeks afterwards the'retired foreman found at his house "a dinner service of silver amounting to' at least one thousand dollars." To another foreman who was without a home for his large family, Mr. Rives stopped before his desk one day and asked: "Have you bought a house jetf The foreman "couldn't see," and said "No." "Why don't you?" he asked. The fellow took the hint and "bought." "Got that house yet?" asked Mr. Rives, soon after. "Yes, sir." "How much?" "$1,700." Cheap enough,'" said Mr. Rives, and he paid for it. These facts we find recited of him, and it is only the pity that there are left so few men like him to rejoice the poor laboring man's heart. He is in Heaven.?Hillsboro (N. C.) Recorder. ? Adroitly Hit.?A correspondent of the Herald and Presbyter writing from Minnesota, tells the following: "I have picked up "a little story" which 1 think too good a reproof for disturbere of the peace in churches to be lost, A presiding elder of the United Brethren Church was preaching in this same neighborhood, and was much annoyed by persons talking and laughing. He paused, looked at the disturbers, and said, "I am always afraid to reprove those who misbehave in church. In the early part of my ministry I made a great mistake. As I was preaching, a young, man who sat just be fore me was constantly laughing and making uncouth grimaces. I paused and administered a severe rebuke. After the close of tie service one of the official members came and said to me," "Brother ,you made a gieat mistake. That young man whom you reproved is an idiot." Since then I have always been afraid to reprove those who misbehave in church lest I should repeat that mistake, and reprove another idiot" During the rest of that service, at least, there wai good order. The H<5ly Laud.?Several yean ago a society for the prosecution of researches and discoveries in tne Holy Land was formed in England. The examinations made under its auspices have brought to light a liumber of interesting matters. Last year an American society was formed with the same object. It has been arranged with the parent society that the Americans shall pursue their explorations east of the river Jordan, a region of country hitherto comparatively unexplored. It is estimated that ?10,000 will suffice, according to the plan of the society, to carry out this purpose for the first year. Among the discoveries already made have been the buried foundations of the ancient city, worn anooth by the tread of Jews who lived and moved in the days of our Saviour, and the ancient bed of the brook Kedron, whose waters flowed by the base of Mt. Moriah. Medical Properties of Eggs. ?The vhite of an egg has proved of late the most efficacious remedy for burns. Seven or eight ^successive applications of this substance.soothe pain, and effectually exclude the burn from tie air. This simple remedy seems preferable to collodion, or even cotton. Extraordinary stories are told of the healing properties of a new oil which is usually made from the yolk of hen's eggs. The eggs are first boiled hard, and the yolks are then removed, crushed and placed over a fire, where they are carefully stiryed until the whole substance'is just on the poiit of catching fire, when the oil separatee and may be poured off. One yolk will yield neatly two teaspoonfuls of oil. It is in general use among the colonists of South Russia as a means of curing cuts, bruises and scratches. ? - - "I !__ Uulwer says poverty is oniy an iaea, in nine cases out of ten, and that there is really more happiness among the working men in the world than among those who are called ' rich. lite fotfeviU* tfvfrim. TERMS?IIV ADVANCE j One Copy, one year, f 3 00 One Copy, Six months, 1 50 OneCopy, Three mouths 1 00 Single Copy, 10 Two Copies, one year, 5 00 Ten Copies, " 14 25 00 ^*To persons who make up clubs often or more names, an extra copy of toe paper will be furnished one year, free of charge. 4 ADVERTISEMENTS Will be inserted at One Dollar and Fifty Cents per square for the first, and Seventy-five Cents per square for each subsequent Insertion-less than three months. A square consists of the space occupied by ten lines of this size type, or one inch. No advertisement considered less than a square. Semi-Monthly, Monthly, or Quarterly Advertisements, will he charged Two Dollars per square for each insertion. Quarterly, Semi-Annual or Yearly contracts will be made on liberal terms?the contract, however, must in all cases be oonfinedto the immediate business of the firm or individual contracting. Obituary Notices and Tributes of Respect, rated as advertisements. Announcements of Marriages and Deaths, and notices of a religious character, inserted gratis, and solicited. Personal Communications, whenadmissable; Communications of limited orindivual interest, or recommendations of Candidates foroffices of honor, profitor trust, will bo charged for as advertisements DRAWING I FROM OCTOBER 1ST, 187] IN CONSEQUENCE OF THE YELL' $500,000 TO BE THE SOUTH LAND AND IMMIGE BUTLER, CHADWICK, UNDER the auspices of the "South Carolina give a SERIES OF CONCERTS, at the Ac January 8th, 1872. Rafem to all the Backers. Brokers and prom! South. 150,000 SEASON TICKETS 0 If you have not received a Circular, send for Confidential. 2,405 GIFTS, AMOUNTI] The Drawing of tTlts Great Southern Enterprh following well known gentlemen: General A. R. WRIGHT, of Georgia. General BRADLEY T. JOHNSON, of Virginia. Money for Tickets cai) be sent either by Expi promptly forwarded. Direct all Letters to BUTLER, CHADV iwtjgfc ? General M. Bn C ^ctol>er 15^ JP GET THE BEST. WEBSTER'S UNABRIDGED DICTIONARY 10,000 Words and Meanings not in other Dictionaries. , , : 8000 EHGRAVIHGS. 1840 PA0E8 QITABT0. PEI0E $12. ri LAD to add my testimony in its fkvor. IT [Pres't Walker of Harvard.] Every scholar knows its value. [W. H. Prescett, the Historian.] The most complete Dictionary of the Language. [Dr. Dick, of Scotland.] The best guide of students of our language. [John G. Whittier.] He will transmit his name to latest posterity. [Chancellor Kent] Etymological parts surpasses anything by earlier laborers. [George Bancroft] Searing relation to Language Principla does to Philosophy. [Elihu Burritt] Excels all others in defining scientific terms. (President Hitchcock.] go iar as I know, best defining Dictionary. . ' [Horace Mann.] fake it altogether, the surpassing work. [Smart, the English Orthoeplst[ A necessity for every intelligent family, student, teacher and professional man. What Library is complete without the best English Dictionary ? ALSO WEBS TEE'S H ATIOHAL PICTORIAL DIOTIOB AET. > 1040 PagetOctavo. 600 Eagraviags. PrlcefS. The work is really a gem of a Dictionary, just the thing for the mUHoti.?Americaft Educational Monthly. Published by 0. & C. MERRIAM, Springfield, Mass. Sold by all Booksellers. ESTABLISHED 1857. L. H. MILLER, MILLER'S SAFE AND IRONWORKS, BALTIMORE. MP. BMS&if oHQ pnr jH \ SALESROOM: 265 BALTIMORE STREET, r (One Door above Hanover,) [FACTORY: Square bounded by Henrietta, Claret, Fremont and Warner Streets. Every variety of the Best Fire and Bnrglar Proof Safes, Bankers' Chests, "Improved CoinbinattouLocka, Bank Vaults and Doors. ~T. t Send for Illustrated Catalogue and Price List. 12,000 IN USE-TESTED IN 200 FIRES. Near References:?National Bank, Chester, Smith and Melton, Chester; John Agnew A Son, Columbia, S. C. June8 23 tf DOORS, SASHES, BLINDS, &C. AHillIII1 j. I*. P. TOAliE, manufacturer and dealer, HO. 20 HAYHB 8TEEET AID EOBLBEOX'S WHABP CHARLESTON, S. C. This is the largest and most complete Facto iy of the kind in the Southern States, and all articles in this line can be furnished by Mr. P. P. TO ALE at prices which defy competition. A pamphlet with full and detailed list of all sizes of Doors, Sashes and Blinds, and the prices of each, will be sent free andpostpaid, on application to P. July 12 28 ly METALIC BURIAL CASES. THE undersigned informs the public that he has made arrangements with the Manufacturers, to keep on hand a supply of FISK'S METALIC BURIAL CASES, of different sizes, which will be sold at fair prices. He is also/prepared, with proper material*, for furnishing WOOD-COFFINS of any quality that may be defied. JAMES E. SMITH. Februarj^9 0 ly . ROSE'S HOTEL. k IN view of the influx of visitors *- ** ri?lM?viV?ln A/wo ci 1 rvn Kv fliA VU VAIl UJLU UJOj vw?*w?ivv? wj vmw IJ3IS prevalence of the yellow fever QbCHBT in Charleston, the proprietor of ROSE'S HOTEL has concluded to re-open his establishment for the accommodation of the public at once, and therefore withdraws the proposals he has heretofore made for its sale or lease. The Hotel will henceforward be conducted as a FIRST-CLASS HOUSE OF ENTERTAINMENT, and special provision will be made for the comfort and convenience of families. CARRIAGES AND AN OMNIBUS will be found at every arriving train. W. E. ROSE, Proprietor. September 7 86 tf Kinsman & Howell, Factors and Commission Merchants. Liberal Advances made on Cotton and Naval Stores. Charleston, S. C. September 7 36 4m WM. G. WHILDEN, AGENT, DEALER IN roEVMs,mftY.u-rii PLATED WARE, CLOCKS, Fine Cut and Engraved Glass, Table Cutlery, China and White Granite Goods. Vases, Toilet Sets and Fancy Articles. Orders from the Country carefully filled and satisfaction guaranteed. 255 KING STREET, CORNER BEAUFAIN, Key Box 521, Charleston, S. C. September 7 36 3m POSTPONED j L, TO JANUARY 8TH, 1872, i OW FEVER IN CHARLESTON, S. C. GIVEN AWAY. C CAROLINA I A.TI0N ASSOCIATION, 4 GARY & CO., Agents. r*-.\ , State Agricultural and Mechanical Society," will ademy of Music, Charleston, S. C., commencing Inent gentlemen of the Country, both North and ^ F ADMISSION, AT $5 EACH." * one, giving full particulars. AH Orders Strictly j a'. 4 tJG IN ALL TO $500,000. U ,wi? .-tr: i '":? . J ie will be conducted under tlte supervision of the Jb, Colonel B. H. RUTLEDOE, of South Carolina. Honorable ROGER A PRYOR, of New York roes or Post Office Order, and the Tickets will be PICK, GARY & CO. 1 ? \ . : Charleston, S. C. ] HADWICK, General M. W. GARY. 41 .8m 1 |M' bullions Icwtmiwv M4fc.tr ffhimm Cmtin ECmU. They an not a vfle Fancy Drink, made of Paar Kan, Whiskey, Proef 8?lriutad Reflaee Lliuere doctored, tpicei eod sweetened to ifleatokhe taste, called " Took*," k4 Appetiser*,*1 "Btecwn," ko.?that lead the tippler on to drunkenness and raid, bnt are a toe Medicine, made from the KattreBoota and Herbeof California, free from all Alcoholic Hrimnlanta. They tot the " GREAT RLOOD PURIFIER and A LIFE GIVING PRINCIPLE) a perfect Renovator and Invigotaicr at the Byetem, carrying off all poisonous matter and restoring the blood to a healthy condition. No person can take these Bitter* according to diractloiie and remain long nswaU, provided thair bonee are net deetroyed by mineral polaone or other mesne, and the yltal organs waited beyond the point of repair. , They are a Gentle PerpitlTe u well u a Tonic, . < possessing, alio, the peculiar merit of acting aa a powerful I agent in relieving Congestion or Inflammation of the liver, and of all the Vieoeral Organ*. ( FOR FEMALE COMPLAINTS, whether in yoong or old, married or single, at the dawn of womanhood or at the turn of life, theae Tonic Bitter* have no equal. Far Inflammatory and Chronic Sheansatlfm dad Goat, Dyepepela or Iadlgeatlen, Billons, Rdaltteat and Intermittent Fevers, Diseases of the J Bleed, Liver, Kidneys and Bladder, these Bitters v have been moat moueeafuL Seek Dlaeoaea am oanaad by 4 J Vitiated Bleed, which 1* generally prodocad by dcraogw ' mcnt of the Digestive Organs.' DYSPEPSIA OR INDIGESTION, Headache, Pain j in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tightneaa of the Oheet, Biislneas, ' Soar Brnotationa of the Stomach, Bad taste la tha Month, BS- M ions Attack*. Palpitation of the HoAMmMIm of Um. . , Lungs, Fain Intta^raglaM of tWmtaayq ^^ahwndted They invigoratothe Stomach and stimulate the torpid hvw fl and bowels, whioh reader them of unequalled eflloeqrfatttmm iug the blood of all impurities, and imps rting new life aad vigor J to the whole system. FOR SKIN DISEASES, Eruptions, Tetter. Salt Rheum, Blotofaei, Spots, Ptmpke, Pnttalea.Bofla. Carbuncles, Ring-Worms, Scald-Head, Bote Eyas, Erysipelas, Itch, Scurfs, DlsoolarsUons of the Blrin, Humors sod Disease* of the Skin, of whatever name or nature, an literally dog up and carried oat of the system In s short time by the use of these Bitter*. One bottle tn such ease* will oonvtnoe the most incredulous of their curat!ve effects. >iv;. ou?ii.t)i. Vitlaifld Rlomi whenever vou And its latousittee banting through the akin in Mm plea, Eruption* or Bona; cleaaae it when you find it obatrnctad or aioggialiln the reina; cl?matt when it ia foul, and poor faeilngt will Ml poo when. Keep the blood pare and ths health of the tytUm will follow. PIN, TAPE, and other WORMS, larking in the eraten Old prejudice* are Aping out. New (beta an UDing them. The idea thatInnNlL weakened hrdiaaaaa, can tonlleredbr proetratlp^them wMh|de?traetire drage^^e no^qyer ^ iow^feiUodard remSr^fcr thti* Hon of tho Union* SOLD BT ALL DBUGOI8TB AND DEALS*. J. Walebb, Proprietor. B. H. McDomm A Qo^ DiinpMe end Gen. Art*.. San mndaoo, CaL.andS40omnuraeto?Ir.Y. July 6 27 " ' ly THE TEMPERANCE ADVOCATE, e5laeged, improved, issued weexxy. shouldbe in every family. 1,500 SUBSCRIBERS WANTED. - -rrr- r* t-r-. $2 PEE AHHTO, Iff ADVAffCE. ri B cause of Temperanco baa advanced *o mp1 idly in^Soutb CarolhM beobme zealous exponent of its principles, We have, therefore, determined to publish the Advocate weekly, and to enlarge ana improve it in every respect. Whilst it will be devoted to total abstinence, it will, nevertheless* be made acceptable to every fireside. The reading matter will be of the purest and most select Character. Arrangements nave been made to getthe most prominent temperance men in the State to make contributions to its columns. It will also have correspondents in every portion of the State, who will keep our readers fully informed as to the progress of the cause. We have put the price of the Advocate so low that It may oe in the reach of all. Only a limited and seleoC number of advertisements will be received. .. : : To Agents.?A discount of ten per cent, will be allowed on all new subscriptions. Address P. P. BEARD, Colombia, S. C. August 17th 83 tf HEWS FROM THE RATIOSA? CAPITAL. Everybody should have heps from ifee Capital in a clearvr mpra lntoilfMM? * ?M rtfcnafrtuu to the lliaiiiUuiraguivuMMj 4 _ Dailies throughout the oountry. THE WEEKLY CHRONICLE ( contains a complete resume of proceedings in Congress and the Courts, of business at the White House, at the Treasury Department, the War, the Navy, and the Agricultural Departments, at the Pension Office ana the Patent Office, at the Bureau of Education and the State Department, with full details of social and general life at our great national and political center. THIS GREAT NATIONAL WEEKLY is also a first class journal of choice Literature, Instructive information, of Domestic and Foreign News, of the Arts, Commerce, and Mechanics, and of Rural, Home, and Publio A Hairs. I m??"- aO . oi* months, fti* five co IMS.?VUOJOBl, V? t ?? , pies for year, $8.75; ten copio 8, $15. Address "DAILY AND WEEKLY CHRONICLE," Washington, D. a ORNAMENTAL AND USEFUL. JR. 8CH0RB & SON beg to inform the citi, zens of York county generally that they are better prepared than ever to execute PHOTOGRAPHIC PICTURES of all kinds and at all prices. As our silent partner, "Old Sol," will probably be more attentive to onr interest for the next few months than he has been lately, we may ?a ?h?f. none in want of rood like oaioy ^Avmufv w. ? ^ nesses shall go away disappointed. We are agents for the celebrated "COMMON SENSE SEWING MACHINE," which has no superior, and is sold at the low price of 915. We warrant it to do all that is claimed for it. Come and see for yourself. There is now no need of any family being without a sewing machine. We haye also made arrangements with Mason, Hamlin <fe Co. to supply those in want of a superior PARLOR ORuAN with their celebrated instruments at New York prices. Prices given on application. Call at our rooms in the Adickes building. April 7-tf ______ _ 4SUPPLY of Caudy on hand and for sale, at the Stationery store of JOHN T. GRIST. tober 5 40 tf TITLES AND MORTGAGES. CONVEYANCES of Real Estate and Mortgages ) are for sale by JOHN T. GRIST.