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* ?? ? SfiSlft leading. t" 1 ' * 1 ? HOOPS. DEDICATED TO THI "LORDS OE CREATION." Yes, hoop, hurrah! ye noble lords, We'll join you in the shout. And trust that ere the echo dies,. You'll learn what you're about. * Vhre les Hoops! 0 let it ring, On hill-top and in rale, For we would spread their glory far? These skeletons of whale. 0 blame us not because we wear The thing that you detest, - For remember, 'tis a way we hare, To wear what we like best. - And if you cannot bear to see Our flounces hate their day, ' **' * Just turn your modest heads aside, And look another way. - What if it is a foreign mode ? You're not behind us far. You show it in your short-toed .boots, And all the clothes you wear. And we have as muoh right to hoops As any of you men Have a right to curl your pet goatees? A la Napolienne! Ye married lords, with woful phiz, Who oast your eyes askant, .... When teasing wife to take them off, She sharply says "I shant," tto, and in penitence ana wars, Bow down those heads of thine, ~ ' And mourn that all jour sins can't hide 'Neath woman's crinoline ? Ye single lords! "tis distance lends Enchantment to the view," And we would keep jou all at baj, To prove the saying true; For w e have found too oft, alas, Despise your lordly pride, There's many a snakey tongue behind The grass that grows outside. And as to those great bugger-boos, The more that you shall dread 'em, And the louder you shall preach 'em down, The wider we will spread 'em. If that won't do, then hearken thiB? With flounces far unfurled, We will start you 8ll to Jordon, And monopolixe the world! STEALING WATER-MELONS. Ab Ashley was a real, live Hoosier, notorious for everything in general, and stealing melons in particular. In melon time, he was the dread of the whole neighborhood ; for when he visited a patch, he made it a rule never to leavemntfl it was entirely destroyed. This was a singular trait in his character?something unaccountable?for, aside from this, he was considered one of the best fellows in the world. Stealing melons and plundering catches, seemed to be a part r t ' * of his nature, for it was evident that it did not arise from any niggardly disposition or selfish motives. He was a real open hearted kind of an individual, always growing more melons than anybody else, and giving them away more freely than anybody else. They were no objeot to him, yet he could not resist the temptation to steal from his neighbors, just for the fun of the thing. . But, as some one has said, 'it is a long lane that has no turn and likewise, had Ab followed up the practice of stealing melons all his life, he would have got to be a melon thief of long standing. But such a state of things was not destined to last always?<A change came o'er the spirit of his dream.' I recollect once, in melon season, some three or four youngsters called at Ab's house, and after telling him of the 'fine patch' that Deacon Aikers had, proposed to visit it.? Ab was on haud without a moment's hesitancy, and so the company set out as soon as it was fairly dark. Before proceeding further, I may say of Ab, in the language of the poet, 'He loved whiskey,' as well as he did melons; and as the boys in whose company he was, had looked to the future and brought along a bountiful supply of the 'good critter,' he was soon enjoying himself hugely. Round and round went the black bottle, and on and on went the company. They soon got to be very merry?so much so that apparently they paid no attention to road or path, but went right through the woods and brush, the same as if they had been walking J on a barn floor. At length, after winding | about in various ways, and overcoming many obstacles, such as fallen 'trees and worm fences,' that lay in their route, they arrived at the patch, and pitched over the enclosure. Ye gods, what a sight! There lay the huge melons, so tnicK tnat our adventurers could scarcely walk for them. There they lay, great mealy, 'red cores/ apparently calling out in their own language, 'Arise, slash and eat!' They were none of your little, long, 'wizzled up' things, such as find their way to the market stands, and which one would suppose had fallen from the vine in a fit of of the 'blue devils / but they were great, plump, jolly, good natured fellows, many of which were already showing their rdd interior, having, apparently, burst their sides with laughter. Ab was right in his glory, and so, hauling out his jack knife, he fell to slashing around with a vengeance. The others followed his example, and very soon there was sad havoc in the melon patch. Having satisfied his appetite, Ab fell stamping and crushing open all that came in his way. The other boys hesitated to participate at first, urging that it was really too bad to treat the old Beacon in such a manner; but Ab swore that it was good enough for the old hypocrite, and that he would not leave as long as there was a melon with a whole hide. Finding there was no stopping him, they lent a hand to the performance, and very soon every melon was destroyed ; and not only that, but the vines were pulled up and heaped in one corner of the patch. Now, said Ab, mounting the pile, which was some five or six feet high, give me the black bottle, and let me drink the old Deacon's health?that good man, in honor of whom we've just erected this monument. The bottle was passed up, and Ab began ?Deacon Aikers?May he live to plant many a patch like this, and may Ab Ashley and his friends have the honor of harvestin' it for 'em. Hats went round three times, after which the bottle started, and made a like number of revolutions. Now fetch me that pole yonder, till I erect a standard, to show that a man has been to the summit, and then the work'll be complete, Aid Alt The pole was brought, and after tearing a strip off an old cotton hand-kerchief and attaching it to the end of the pole, Ab stuck it up in the pile of vines, dismounted, and all started for home. In a space of time truly incredible, they arrived at Ab's residence. Ab pressed his friends to stay till morning, but they would not hear of it. Some pressing business, of course, prevented; and so they set out, leaving him to snooze off the bad effects of bad whiskey. Early next morning, Ab Ashley was aroused from his sound slumber by one of his little sons running to his bed, and calling out: Pap, pap, pap I Get up, quick?quicker 1 Some'n's hooked all er?'er water melyonsl What! exclaimed Ah. Why, some?some?Bome'n hooked nil 'er watermelyons an?an?*n smashed em up!Ab arose cursing and swearing, vowing that he'd find some clue by which to identi- i fy the villians, and then they might.look out j for rough times. He went to the.patch? what a sight presented itself! Not a whole melon, nor even a vine, was left?all had met a total destruction. ' - Where'n thunder and lightnin eOtild'I a been last night, that I didn't hear the infer* nal villains f It's lucky for em Ididi'tfreaf em, or some of 'em'd been dead now. What could they a done with the vines ? said he. Casting hi8 eyes along the fence; he discovered the vines nioely piled up, like a small hay stack. From the top of the pile stood a pole, with a strip of red flag floating from-the end of It: AB started towards it; bat before proceeding many steps, be stopped andTbegan to think. Something seemed to be coming up in bis mind. At last he muttered to himself, Can it all be a dream ? j or did I actually do it ? Waiting a little longer, he said, No, bv thunder, it's no dream ! Them cussed boys *a been a playin off on me. Blast their infernal whiskey, I wish they had it all in their cussed in'ards, red hot! Mind, I tell you, I'll be even with em, if it takes me a hundred years from now, and then came an awful volley of curses, such as never could appear in print. He j fairly blubbered right out with rage. I It was, indeed, true?the boys had been playing off on him?for after getting him a little tight, they had brought him back to j his own melon patch; and under the impression that it was Deacon Aiker's, he had destroyed it. It is said that Ab Ashley was never known to assist in plundering of a I melon-patch after that eventful night. It cured him. . DB. JOHNSON'S PUDDING. An artist, who made an excursion to Scotland went the same ground described by the learned tourists, Dr. Johnson and Boswell, and perceiving a storm threatening, made the best of his way to a small building. He arrived in time at a neat little inn, aud was received by a respectable man and his wife, who did all iq their power to make him comfortable. He found the landlord, full of anecdote, of whioh the "following may serve as a specimen: " coir! fVio lfinrllnrrl <<fchl8 inn W38 for merly kept by Andrew Macgregor, a relation of mine, and these hard bottom chairs in which we are sitting were years ago filled by the great tourist Dr. Johnson and Boswell, traveling like the lion and the jackal. Bos* well generally preceded the Dootor in search of food, and being much pleased with the looks of the house, followed his nose intotbe larder, where he saw a fine leg of mutton.? He ordered it to be roasted with the utmost expedient, and gave particular orders for a nice pudding. 'Now,' says he, 'make the best.of all puddings.' Elated with his good kick he immediately went out iu search of his friend, and saw the giant of learning slowly advancing on a'pony. 'My dear sir,' said Boswell, out of breath with joy, 'good news! X have just bespoke at a comfortable and clean inn here, a delicious leg of mutton; it is getting ready,, and I flatter my3elf that we shall have an excellent meal.' 'And I hope,'said he, 'you have bespoke a pudding." 'Sir, you will have your favorite puddiDg,' replied the other. Johnson got off his poney, and the poor animal, relieved of the giant, smelt his way into the stable. Boswell ushered the Doctor into the house, and left to prepare for his delicious treat. Johnson, feeling" his coat rather damp from the mist of the moutains, went into the kitchen, and threw his upper garment over a chair before the fire. He sat on a hob, near a little boy, who was very busy attending to the meat. Johnson did not like the appearance of his head?he shifted the hasting ladel from one hand to the other hand was never idle?and he thought he saw, at the same time, something full on the meat, upon which he determined to eat no mutton that day. The dinner announced, 'my dear Doctor, here comes the mutton?what a picture.' done to a turn ; and looks beautifully brown!' The Doctor tittered. After a short grace, Bos well said: 'I suppose I am to carve, as usual ! "What part shall I help you to ?' The Doctor replied? 'My dear Bozy, I did not like to tell you before, but I am determined to abstain from meat to-day." 'Oh dear, this is a great disappointment said Bozy. Boswell commenced the attack, and made the first cut at the mutton. 'How the gravy runs, what fine-flavored fat; so nice and brown, too. Oh, sir, you would have relished this fine piece of mutton. The meat being removed, in came the long-wished-for pudding. The Doctor looking joyous, fell eagerly to, and in a few minutes nearly finished the pudding. The table was cleared and Bozy said : 'Doctor, whil'st I was eatiDg the mutton you seemed frequently inclined to laugh, pray tell what tickled your fancy.' The Doctor then literally told him all that had happened at the kitchen fire about the boy and the basting. Boswell turned as pale as a parsnip, and sick of himself and the company, darted out of the room. Somewhat relieved, on returning, he insisted on seeing the dirty little rascally boy, whom he reprimanded before Johnson. The poor boy cried?the Doctor laughed. 'You little sniveling hound,'said Boswell. 'when you basted the meat, why did you not put on the cap I saw you in this morning ?' j <1 couldn't, sir,' said the boy. 'No! Why couldn't you ?' said Boswell. 'Because mammy took it from me to boil the pudding in.' Measure for Measure.?A friend tells us the following anecdote, which we pronounce decidedly good : 'One of the store- i keepers of this place, a few days since, purchased of an Irish woman a quantity of butter thn liimns nf whir?h intpndpr? fnr nminde he 'weighed in the balance and found wanting.' 'Sure it's your own fault if they are light,' said Biddy, in reply to the complaint j of the buyer, 'its your own fault, sir?for ! wasn't it a pound of soap I bought here myself, that I had in the other end of the scale when I weighed 'em !' The storekeeper had nothing more to say on the subject. Queer things happen sometimes, even in lunatic asylums. A rough fellow passing Worcester establishment, noticed at the window n old acquaintance, and bawled out to him, "Hello, old fellow, what are you in for?" "Voting for Fillmore !" was the prompt reply. The enquirer sloped?he had probably done it himsolf 4 y ^ Jfari, Jfttit & Jfancg. ? Many persons talk.like philosophers and live like fools. , t?The man who made an impression on the j heart of a coquette, has taken out a patent for stone-cutting. ?l?. Prussia, males are not permitted to marry under Jicenty-fivt, nor females under twenty-two years of age. ' ? A poor Irish woman who was afraid of her intemperate husbind, declared that she feared he would commit suicide on her. M '* ' ? The man who attempted' to catch the speaker's eye with a steel trap, was ordered to take the floor by the Setgeant-at-arms. ? <iYou see how bald I am, and I don't wear a wig." "True,,.sir," replied the servant, "an empty barn requires po .thatch !" ? "The world,"inost admirably remarked Horace Walpole, rtis a cbrtinedy to those who think, and a tragedy Co those who feci." ? Wealth without friends, is like li fe without health; the one is an uncomfortable fortune, the other a miserable being. ? The darkest and most contemptible ignorance is that of not knowing ones's self; . that all we have.and all we ezcell in, is the gift of God. ? There are in the English language 20,500 nouns, 40 pronouns, 9,200 adjectives, 8,000 verbs, 69 inteijections, &c. In all, there about 46,000 words. ? A raw Irishman, on his first sight of a locomotive, declared it was the devil. 'No.' said "his companion,'""it's only a steainbtitfl; hunting for wather." > c ? It is with certain good qualities as with the senses; those who are entirely deprived of them can neither appreciate nor comprehend them. ? Somebody says a wife should be like roasted lamb?tender and nicely dressed.? Somebody else wickedly adds?"and without sauce " ? ATrtn/iTT an/1 fJmo the heaviest bur dens of life, and the unhappiest of all mortals are those who have more of either than they know how use. T . ? Wedlock without love is like a feast of dishes?a mere show and deception. We would sooner wed an almshouse than a female minusaheart. Well, we would. ? Prosperity is the only test that a vnlgar man can pass through. If a man has anything mean in his disposition, a little good luck is sure to bring it out. ? There are some minds which, like the vulture's eye, can pass heedlessly over the beanties of the verdant meadow, and spy only the carrion that lies rotting in the corner. ? I say, Pat, what are you about?sweeping out that room ?" "No," answered Pat, "I am sweeping the dirt, and leaving the room." ? Why is a printer like a hen ? Because he sets awhile, Ji-atches out newspapers and then lays his type in the case. The fellow who perpetrated the above is a bad egg. ? The less a man knows the more easily he is tickled. A thread-bare joke, uttered by a second rate clown, will keep a bench of blockheads in laughter for a week. ? An antiquary is a person who busies himself in collecting the trnsh which Time has flung away, and endeavoring to preserve what Time has forgotten. ? It is an extraordinary fact ^that when people come to what is commonly called "high words," they generally use "low language." ? Somebody said that if nature had designed man to be a drunkard, she would have constructed him like a churn, so that the more he drank the more firmly he would stand. ? We learn toleration from children ; for no man can have his whiskers pulled by a ydung brat, without feeling what an intoler able nuisance be most have been as a child himself. ? "Mr. D.," observed Mr. B., in a recent trial, 'practises his arguments before a glass.' "Better practise them before a glass than afrcr a glass," was the courteous retort x>f the able lawyer. ? Guard, if it be possible, your friends from injuring you, lest they, by so doing, become your bitterest enemies, never forgiving the wrongs they have themselves inflicted. ? The truest sentiment ever read at a public dinner was : "Hoops and the Equator? Crinoline and the Equinoctial line, God bless 'em ! The one encircles the earth, the other the heavens!" ? The rules to form a young man are to talk little, to hear much, to reflect alone up on what has passed in company, to distrust one's own opinions, and value others that deserve it. ? The Culpepper Observer says : "Wanted at this office, an editor who can please everybody. Also, a foreman who can so arrange the paper as to have every man's advertisement to head the column." ? Dr. Cousin having heard the famous T. Fuller repeat verses on a scolding wife, was so delighted with them as to request a copy; but Fuller told him a copy was needless, as he had the original." ? John B. Stanley, of Florida, is the greatest hunter of the age. Besides his almost daily presence on his plantation, during the last twenty-five years, he has killed at least ten thousand deer, one hundred wolves, sixty panthers and twelve bears. ? The force of emphasis, in giving meaning to a sentence, is well illustrated by the brief colloquy which we overheard, the other day, between two persons : "Do you imagine me a scoundrel, sir?" demanded one, indignantly. "No, I do not imagine you to be - )) one. ? A gentleman was promenading the street with a blight little boy at his side, when the little fellow cried out: "Oh, pa, there goes an editor!" "Hush, hush !" said the father, "don't make sport of the poor man?God only knows what you may come to yet."? What a compliment upon the fraternity!? That man deserves?a button. ? A Western correspondent says: "I attended a wedding a few day's since. Wishing to say something becoming the occasion, I approached the fair young bride in the course of the evening, and after congratulating her on her departure from the state of single blessedness, I wished her a pleasant voyage down the river of life. She said she hoped so, but she heard there was a great deal of fever on the river now?she hoped they wouldn't oatoh it on the way down." fanner's Department.! \ PENNT^TfiQi AND POUND WISE. g There is-a farmer Pennywise with whom I am acquainted, who will occasional)' raise a > y good heifer) ?teer or colt for his neighbors who keep.good breeds, .au'd he ji"by accident i <J occasionally benefitted thereby'.'";9VTheu he j k has such an animal in his flock, he is uppar- a ently uneasy until it is disposed of; and af k ter selling such an animal, a heifer for in- c stance, you may hear something like the 1 following": * i "Well, my dear, I have sold the big hei- c fer for fifteen dollars; is that not a good price ? for a heifer of her age ?" 1 r "Good price, indeed!" his. wife would re- f ply "you had better have sold two of them c cathammed, crooked-legged, scrnwly thing k that you always keep for cows. The reason 9 that our cattle always look so bad, and that a we sell so little butter and cheese, is that a you klways sell the best heifers." k Poor woman ! I Ditv her. Her pride and r v ambition are injured, her children and self j in rags, because her native industry and e- f conomy are cramped by the foolish and nig- j ardly policy of her husband. The picture is reversed in Farmer Pound- \ wise who always keeps the best animals until ^ full grown; then, selecting his best breeders t for his own uses, he sells the rest. If be s has a good young horse, he will say that he will make a fine team horse; if a marc, she t will make^a fine breed mare. < v ' "And what will you do with that?" says 1 his neighbor, pointing to an ordinary, ani- ] mal - - . ( * "Between you and I," says he, "I shall f sell that colt the first chance. Such an ani- j mal spoils the looks of the rest, and will not ] pay for his keeping." * < Thus he will sell his poor steers, heifers, 1 sheep, and pigs, at the first ofifer. If not j sold, he would fatten those that would pay ] the expense of fattening! Are there any | cattle, sheep, or hogs that will, not pay the ( the expense of fattening! Reader, take i some of each?of the real Pharnoh breed? 1 feed them until fat; keep an exact account t of the expenses, and you can answer this l question yourself. In this way Farmer 1 Poundwise always has valuable stock; his j steers are ready sale and command a good t price; his horses are the best in the neighborhood, and the first to be looked at by purchasers. So with all the animals he raises. Pennywise, on the contrary, is thronged I with an ill-shaped, worthless stock, that none ' buy or pay the expense of raising; which 1 are continually eating out his substance and ' making do return. Thus Pennywise drags 1 on a miserable life in the road to ruin, while 1 Poundwise moves easily and happily aloDg 1 in the road to wealth.?Maine Farmer. I ? "S" . I From the New England Farmer. , FEEDING COWS ON PUMPKINS. 1 Mr. Editor :?I noticed a statement in a ' late number of the Farmer, to the effect that 1 pumpkin seeds dried up a cow's milk. This j was something new to me, aud contrary to the idea that I had always entertained, to wit, that pumpkins were valuable to feed to ? milch cows, therefore I resolved to ascertain ' the real value of that statement before taking auy stock therein. Being unsuccessful in j raising a crop of pumpkins myself, the past season, I procured a few loads of one of my J neighbors, who had a surplus, and commen- ' ced feeding them out to my cow, at the rate . of half a bushel per day; she was then giv- 1 iogaboot eight quarts of milk per ?day, but instead of this increasing the quantity, they diminished it. I increased the feed to a ( bushel per day; still there was a decrease in ' the quantity of milk until the pumpkins froze 1 up, when she did not give but four quarts per ^ day. The cow did not fatten, and the rea- 1 son for the decrease in the quantity of milk, ^ I could in no way account for. When I 1 stopped feediog the pumpkins, I gave a pail- f full of slop from the house, with two quarts 1 of oat meal per day, and in a short time, she r was giving her former quantity; still I did 2 not think of the pumpkins doing the mis- ? chief. When I read the statement iu your J paper, I had commenced feeding boiled to the cow, in addition to the slop and meal, ? with the same effect on the milk as in the' fall. I then took out all the seeds before boiling, when, lo, the change ! Instead of i, n> r u ?1!_ . I T 1_ I ' live quarts 01 mil*. per uay, 1 goi ueuriy uiue ^ in a short time. I again kept in the seeds,, with precisely the same result as before. Now this experiment establishes a fact, j which, (to me at least,) is of importance.? Probably there are some who knew the same thing, years ago; and, perhaps, there are others, some that, like myself, were not pos- ^ ted, to whom this will be of consequence.? I also noticed while I left out the seeds, that the cow made no extra quantity of urine, . which all cattle invariably do, when fed on . pumpkins, seed and all. If you see fit to ^ give this an insertion, it may be of benefit . to some who have had no more experience than myself. Yours, &c., Lebanon, N. II., 1856. ^ DESTROY YOUR WEEDS. h It is a curious sight to see farmers fight ^ weeds all through the spring and summer a and then letting all that escape go to seed and spread their mischief throughout the v fall! Look at any of our New England corn s fields or 'tater patches in September, and lo ! 8 what choice assortment of pig-weeds, beg- a gar-lice, and other of the weed tribe, flaunt 11 their seed-pods to the breeze, ready for any amount of mischief in the spring ! h Even in our gardens, wherein if any where a an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of e cure, are usually left to mature a wnueruess j v of weeds every season, and not a blow struck 0 to remedy the matter, when blows would be r< worth striking. It is true, some very prudent proprietor may spend an hour or two 11 pulling up dock or burdocks, but instead of exterminating them by fire and faggots he throws them into the highway where hoof y and wheel thrash them out, and the first tj wind or rain is sure to scatter them broad- (( cast over all the region round; and so next year he has all his work to do over again. c Now we hold that no good farmer or gardener will ever let a weed go to seed in his jj domain. Heave them out! Hoe them out ?out with them at any cost! The barnyard and muck heap will be glad of them ; ^ and when secured green, they are worth their weight in any kind of manure, hardly excepting guano. But when the seeds are ripe, then nothing but fire should be their n portion. There is an old story of a race of beings who were doomed as a punishment, to pour u water ia a seive till it should be full. Let each farmer see too it, that the seive through h which daily meal comes has no tares in its ei bottom V?IAfc Hfattroted. aj /#a*' ?rat])crancf Column. ; "f'l :?y i 710' V o / ' r.L-X.C- juhu _ .? ITRIKING TEMPERANCE STOBT. I . The following striking temperance story re find afloat in our exchanges : Au intelligent wealthy man, who did not Irink in sooiety, nor habitually, at home, iu"d a room' in hiamansion in whiohj'M often s three or four times a year, fcewotild gbrge limself with liquor. Whon he found his raving for rum coming on, he would lock limself in that room till 'the scale':-was finshed. The appearance of this room at the lose of one of these sprees was disgustingly ilthy. A friend who knew his habits reuonstrated with him, but was told thaircortn was impossible, so irresistible was his raving l[oj rum at certain times: His friend tegged him to try. His two sous, fifteen and - .1- J iL. cventeen years or age, earnestly preweu uro ppeal. At last the man consented to try, nd drawing from his pocket a key, said to lis oldest son: - . - 'Here is the key to the liqaor closet; will rou take it and promise on no condition, and or no violence with which I. may threaten 'on to give itnp when I demand it?' The boy knowing how furious his father vas on these occasions declined the trust The father then asked the younger son, a >oy of uncommon nerve, the same question, ind he promptly replied, 'I will.' For a few weeks things went on smoothtly, )ut one day the father came home at an inusual hour. His manner betokened that lis appetite was gnawing and craving.? tie called his younger son and demanded .he key to the Kquofrcloset, but was refused irmly. The refusal maddened him, and teiziDg some weapon, he sprang at his son. For a moment he stood over him with glaring jyes and insane with rage, but the young lero never quailed. Fixing his firm hut "earful eyes on his father, he said: 'Father, [ promised you that I would not give you ;be key, no matter what violence you might ;hreaten ; and now you may kill me, but I vill never give you that key I' Instantly the veapon dropped from the man's hand, and is he himself expressed .it, 'the appetite for ' iquor seemed to abandon me before the noble irmness of my son.' He was reclaimed, tod never fell. His cure was radieal and horough. GOING UP AND DOWN TOWN. In every American town there is some joint, the exact locality of whioh bas never jeen definitely settled, which is to the denizes thereof lcnown either as 'up' town, or down' town. If an idler, a lounger or the nan about town takes bis bat and cane for i walk he very solemnly- informs yon that le is going 'up town.' If a half grown boy, four son for instance, has been out longer .han you wish and you interrogate him therejpon, he will very gravely inform you that le has onl'v been 'down down,' and seems to Iiink that a sufficient assurance for any fear ;hat you might entertain concering the propriety of his conduct while absent. If your lusband, madam, comes home late at night ?unusually late and you delicately hint that jou would be gratified to know where in the ound world he had been, he solemnly in- j 'orms you that he has%beeu 'up town,' and fou may honestly wonder if your poor husband has not had a tiresome, uphill business >f it when yon see him mistake his cravat for lis boots, placing the muddy boots on your ine dressing table and setting his cravat on he hearth! This goiDg dotcn town and going up town las ruined many a man. Years ago, our mriosity prompted us to discover, if possible, he precise geographical position of 'down own*' Watchiug a chap who had sworn he vas going there, we saw him bring up at a niserable drinking saloon, and as he went no father down, we very natilrally concluded hat was the 'down town' terminus. And uch is the case; the grogshop and the drinkng saloon is the 'up' and 'down' of too maiy of our town and villages, and the deni,ens thereof are too often found going thitherward. Beware ! young man, beware of these aunts 'up town,' and 'down town': they are langerous places to explore?many a noble dventurer has been forever lost and your ale may be as sad as theirs.?Age. X - ' f * r * Intemperance.?Many are the evils of ifc, many the influences which lead.astray; mt Intemperance stands chief among tliem' 11. It is a young Giant, striding through he world, and scattering destruction all aong his pathway. By his ruthless hand lives nd fortunes are swept away, as it were in a uoment; happy homes are made desolate, nd once happy hearts lay withered beneath tis touch. That sweet pale face which often haunts he drunkard?ofteu rising between him and he tempting cup, is his wife's. Her form 3 now resting ptecefully beneath the sod, and ie knows that n was his hand that wruug he life-blood from her young heart, leaving loughtbut desolation there. It was his hand hat traced those lines of grief on her fair irow, till bereft of all joy, she breathed out ler days of misery with gladness; and the ist. prayer that rose from her lips, was for <Irunlenn husband! Intemperance ! It is the demon of the rorld. " And as it has ever done, so will it till lead its victims for a while, through cenes dazzling in their brightness, till the ccursed habit is fastened upon him, then he veil will be removed, but alas ! too late | jr him ! The worm of the still'has secured j is prey, winding every coil with tightness, : nd then strikes the poisoned ft: g still deep- j r, till his maddened prey rushes on, not aring whither, and sinks beneath the waves f 'darkness and oblivion; which sullenly )ar on, leaving behind no tale of the wreck j hat lies beneath. Oh, countless are the violas offered up to the demon Intemperance ! Ghnicoad Vullry Times, j jPaT* The following anecdote is told of a cry clever fellow, who has recently joined ie Sons of Temperance. After becoming a son," he went to Mobile on business, and mo ..Iran ill flmra The nhvsician was call d, and on examining him, pronounced him ) a very dangerous condition,and prescibed randy. The sick man told the doctor he auld not take it. Tim doctor insisted that i , was a prompt remedy; but the patient told ! irn he would not take it. The doctor said he , lust, or he would have spasms. "Well," lid the Son of Temperance, 1 will try a coule of spasms first."?Marion (A/a.) Com-:. ion iccalth. SOT A tippler, who squinted awfully, . sed sometimes to mourn that his eyes did i ot agree. "It's very lucky for you," replied is friend; "for if your eyes had beenmatcA-; t, your nose would have set them on fire long p. I icttoHf in civil v<iL< u l*- -~v - <, ->s. 1MB > ?v? . _'^^^AS^^Uhbsm^SOB^I ? i ?b r^^VGB^HiHBIi utiiHO f? -?~i.: >^Kjj3M:JtfL3S r7., "^^ jfc*K3g6 r CALL AT RO IN ORDER TO KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES, LN6 STOVES into general use, the subscribe* North, where he made a large selection of the'beat above cut, "THE WONDER," fullyjustifiee its name an Air Tight Cooking Store, is not to be surpassed ft large Ovens and atrongdraugbt; the Casting? are a1 particular attention toi, favorite called r?MM WO'MM Many of which have already been saltT -.Itis an R any other brought ont.. It has moveable long centr a complete FARMER'S STOVE. I have, however, every variety of COOK, PAR] and put up without extra charge. It shall be my struction of Patterns but in the smoothness of Cn In connection the Establishment, I have, also, A LARGE II Where every article in the line is kept on band, ROOFING AND GUTTERING. The public are invited to call At the Show Room be found all that is required for HOUSEHOLD ] Bim.'jL'jMLMsri?which will be sold, at WHOLESALE AND RETAI Southern Country. f/ST Orders solicited, which s Yorkville, S. C.r May 7,1867.v ! CjjtgffrSille inquirer is ISSUED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, at Two Dollar* per year, in Advance. T / *- ___ To Otbas or Tbh, the paper will be furnished, one year, for Fifteen Dollars?invariably in advance. AH subscriptions not specially limited at the time of subscribing will be considered as made for an indefinite period, and wiflbb continued until all arrearages are paid, or at the option of the Proprietors. Subscriptions from other States must invariably be accompanied with the cash or the name of some responsible person known to ns. Advertisements will be inserted at One [ Dollar per square for the first, and Thirty-sevenand-a-balf Cents for each subsequent insertion? I a square to consist of twelve lines, Brevier, or less. Business Cards, of a half-squ* ;? or less, will be inserted at $5, per year.. For advertising Estrays Tolled, $2; Citations, $2; Notices of Application to the Legislature, $5; to be paid by the persons handing in the advertisements. Monthly or Quarterly Advertisements will be charged One Dollar ner sanare. for each insertion. Contraots by the year will be taken on liberal teems?the contracts however, must in all caaesbu confined to the immediate business of the firm or individual contracting. All advertisements not having thd mim-f ber of insertions marked on the margin, will be" continued untiLforbid and charged accordingly. Obituary Notices exceeding one square in length, will be charged for the overplus, at regular rates. Tributes of Respect rated as advertisements. * THE LAW OF NEWSPAPERS. 1. Subscribers who do not give express notice to the contrary, are considered as wishing to continuetheir subscription. 2. If subscribers order the discontinuance of their papers, the publisher can continue to Send them until all arrearages are paid. 8. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their papers from the office to which they are directed, they are held responsible till they settle their bill, and order the paper discontinued. . 4. If any subscriber removes to another place without informing the publisher, and their paper issent to the former direction, they are held responsible. / A RETIRED PHYSICIAN / VW^HOSE sands of life had nearly run out, I IT discovered while in the East Indies, a cer| tain cure for Consumption, Asthma, Bronchitis, Coughs, Colds, and General Debility.. The.reroedy was discovered by him when his only child, a daughter, was given up to die. He had heard much of the wonderful restorative and healing , qualities of preparations made from the East In- ( din Ilenip, and the thought occurred to him that lie might make a remedy for his child. He studi- J ed hard and succeeded in realizing his wishes.? ( His child was cured, and is now alive and well.? j He has since administered the wonderful reine- ] dy to thousands of sufferers in all parts of the ' world, and he bus never failed hi making them J completely healthy and happy. Wishing to do as . much good as possible, he will send to such of his ( afflicted fellow-beings ns request it, this recipe, > with full and explicit directions for making it up j and successfully using it. He requires each ap- j plicant to enclose him one shilling?three cents to be returned as postage on the recipe, and the remainder to be applied to the payment ofthis advertisement. Address, Dr. H. JAMES, No. 19 Grand-st. Jersey City, N. J. N. B.?Dr. II. Jauies has neither office nor a gent in New York, as some have pretended and I I advertised. The recipe is sent from so plack / | hut No. 19 kGrand street, Jersey City, New / J ersey. / June 11, 23 3m / j JOB PRINTING, i THE PROPRIETORS of the ENQUIRER res- ( pcctfully inform their friends and the public \ at large, that they are well prepared to execute j orders in the JOB PRINTING LINE, such as i PAMPHLETS, POSTEKS, HAND BILLS, BLANK NOTES, a BUSINES CABDS, LABELS, t LAW BLANKS, CIRCULARS, * MAGISTRATE'S Do. CATALOGUES, &c., Arc. All work entrusted to this establishment J will be neatly and expeditiously executed, and ai ^ reasonable rates. Call at the ENQUIRER Office, ONE DOOR SOUTH OF THE P. OFFICE , Jan. 1 1 tf. j LAW BLANKS! . WE have on hand, and are prepared to supply at short notice, at the ENQUIRER Office, nil kinds of LAWYERS' BLANKS in general de- 1 tnand, printed on good paper and neatly pressed. We offer them at 75 cents quire. Single half 1 Quire 50 cents. As we have incurred considera- c hie outlav to ennble us to furnish a good article, o we will sell lor CASH and CASH ONLY. n Our present stock consists of the following va- c lieties, viz: Sum Pro; Fi. Fa.; Fi. Fa. on Sum. v Pro.; Copy Writ in Case: Copy Writ in Debt; Declaration on Account; Declaration on Promissory v Note; Declaration on Bond or Sealed Note; Sub- v oa-na Writs; Subpoena Tickets, ?c. I jjgf Orders from a distance promptly attended ? to, if accompanied by the CASH ! c COD LIVER OIL.--A superior article I of pure Cod Liver Oil. For Sale by L. P. BARNETT & CO. ilEME. ra n* BWysjcSSBH ^2; *> !>?<?* ;._ * f i.-? ('. -. ?,. v" ? -' .. .?? UitS*' J' ' * ? .V' -U > . *#. * -**t ? -j * i rv?.K J? - ? . r * < t ? . ? i T1^ ? :U: ; - ' ?. f </ 'L.Mrf .V SE'S DEPOT. ' / * .. .. f'r '.-*. ' *7! ' ;/ i? ,_ . ? ; " .1 which ?? m to demand the introduction of COOK' r^cntiv ri?itnd the nrinciDal Foundries in the varieties, sailed for tbUs section of country. The fcjirabffliy ot- beauty. Tbgjr ire perWflj ma*, tropg 4nd cannot"be clicked b> heat. 1 would feat .." ' * ' ' ''if*. . ' T-". 18% M&MM, . ~ . I i [crated'Ore* for Baking, of greater capacity than e pieces, to receive a large Boiler, which makes it LOB and. OFFICE STOVES, which I win delfttr pride and ambition to excel, not only in the eon* tisga, as d the manner in which they are mo anted. I;MeT'(??, v . - ' < ~6r riutde to order.' Partienlar attention pahf to in the old "HARBI8 BUTLI>ING,,, where wtll PURPOSES, such as JAPAN AND TIN WARE, m m .ItATTUiia Ac., Ac., all L, CHEAPER than has ever been offered in the haU receive prompt jrttcrttioii.' WM, E. HOSE, 18 _ 8mo flfClMJBflRf! : ? J i jn a THE SCBSCBIBEB JUST having returned from the North, would respectfully invite his friends and the pnblic generally, to a rich assortment of articles osnally kept in his line of bn*iaeeg, consisting in part of the following:? WATCHES. Gold and Silver: JEWELRY of all kinds : onecta cles, Gold nod Silver; Silver-Ware; 8ilver plated Ware; Britannia-ware ; gaiters; JSancy Article?, . GUNS, PISTOLS, Bowie-Knives, Walking-Sticks, Military Goods; Clocks of various styles, Ac., besides a great many other articles too tedious to mention. Persons in want of artioles in my line, will find it to tbeir advantage tv give me a call. I am determined to SELL FOB CASH, and for less than goods of the same kind can he be had at retail, North or South. REPAIRING In the Watch and Jewelry line executed with neatness and dispatch, at the shortest notice, by an experienced workman. Old Q0]d and Silver taken in exchange for Goods. . E. M. KIRKPATRICK. Dec 4 49 tf SEWING MACHINIST To Manufacturers, Planters and Private Families. IN purchasing such an article as a SEWING MACHINE, the true policy is to buy the best. I. M. SINGER & Co's GAZETTE, a beautiful pictorial paper, contains full and reliable information about SEWING MACHINES, and answers ill questions thnt can be askea on the subject.? All iVlio read this paper will learn how to purchase a Sewing Machine with which $1,000 a year, :lear profit, can be made, and will be protected from being imposed on by some of the hnmbug Machines now before the public. 8inger & Co.'s Machine is arranged to do ooarse and fine work of rlpuprintinn Tlio ltn7otto riav hp nhtninod - J .J.-.--. ?J -- gratis on application at any of Singer & Co's Offi;es. A machine can be seen in operation at the railor Shop of Mr. W. C. OWEN, of YorkTillc, 3. C. L. M. GRIST, at the Enquibeb Office, is tn authorized agent. Singer & Co.'p Charleston Office, 824 King-st. Principal Office, 828 Broadway, New York. July 2, 1657. 26 tf ~ MUSIC! MUSIC 11 . Sffl! A LARGE and well-selected stock of PIANOS from the best makers cau be bad at FACTORY PRICES, at RAMSAY'S PIANO and MUSIC STORE, COLUMBIA, S. C. Those who wish to jrocure a very superior instrument can get a Halett, Davis & Co's PIANO, with the patent suspenlion bridge and metallic bearings, now among the jest Pianos in the world. Try one, and if it does lot prove well, the price will be refunded. Eve y Piano fully guaranteeed. Mr. RAMSAY, being a practical Piano-maker ind an experienced dealer, can insure to his cusomers a perfect instrument, and in the most perect order. No charge for boxing. Also, on hand, Church and Parlor Melodeons, Jnitars, Violins, Accordeons, Flutinas, Banjos, Strings &c., and a general assortment of the laest nnd most approved Music. Reference*: iter. j. m. Anaerson, President or "orkville Female College; Prof. J. H. Whitney, 'rofessor of Music. Sept 18 88 ly PRESS FOR SALE. |W7E have received instructions from the owT ? ner, Mr. ROBINSON, to sell the PRINCE'ON PRESS recently used in our office, at very heap rates. We exchanged this Press for a new nachinc (a Princeton Press of larger dimensions) t a merely nominal cost; and we can assure our otemporaries that it was laid aside for no fault rhatever. The Bed measures 44 by 28 inches. Mr. ROBINSON promises to put it up in good forking order, and to furnish it with his recent aluuhle improvements ; at a charge considerably iclow the original cost. Our experience warrants I is in recommending it as the cheapest Press that an be used in a flourishing country office ; cspe:ially so, as it is offered on accommodating terms. "or further particulars address, L. M. GRIST, Yorkvillt, S. C. J?u22 tf