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Williams & Davis, Proprietors.] A Family Paper, Devoted to Science. Art, Inquirv, Industrv and Literature. [erms---$3.00 uer Annum, In Advanor VOL. IX.] WINNSBORO. S. C., WEDNESDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 18, 1874. ENO. Tir I lei FAIRFIELD HERALD IS P tinlt El) w aEi:K.Y IIY . WELI4AMS, & fa'B's, ',-e .-Tusi 1 I tu Aio in pubalis4hedl Week' inl le 'lown of Winnsboro, a11. in a ari,a11g in adrane. 'My- All franlsienit. ad ertisements to be p aid iit advianace. Oli:, h1ary Noties Imli Triblltes $1 00 per Sitare. A 'I ITO 1 E." Mly lienalah is had, I dlona'i improve \% la aatoake'e 111y naaeC ,o) ret ? "()lrl ive" aat11l me aie innot C.a ;Ie . I think 1ll go to bel, 8o plaice mue ont any pillow, hoy.9, And let lie Doctor see Il athere aly use to try a aal batvo A renegade like ame. Be quie, no ; don't nake a noise, . Nor traw a laauving igh, You ligh anaId Lailk, bat.a 'tisl no use, For sure I'm bouand te die. Just loose mily collar, unstrap my pante, I sitafer as I lie ; A brick ptaa till lerne.alh My Iterll, Nor raise it very haigha, Now give aiao! solt cool water boys, I tell yOUa that t heaa iit'. Far bet:er t 1ia old "iker's llye," 01 wihela I've haad enouagh. Say what yt Ilease :tboul lay fatalts, Oan virtuae I pretenlda ; I never yet. Iave x/eirked at drink, Whena, invild by a lien.J. Anil at the groat antl finaal day, When al outir work is through, When all ihe al runkartis of otar town Account, fur what. they d ; Tle God above wlho knows aIll thitngs, Will lae as kiwia to anaC As atny oaler drinking man, So with him "'let it be." But 0 ! 'i gett'ug weaaker, boye, My eyes atre growintg tia; T'here's somaething il tle air, too, 11y head begine to swim. Pour out a gliass of whiskey, now, I saifer aiwitil painl, Don't thilltk I'm ab-1oait, to leave, 'Twill give me life agaian. But shoul it prove to much for me - Whena I'm about. to die, .n*l anius my laond nc ore t.o say, 0 1 Row is this for ligh ! SN-YDl1. Governtor 31o0m~, jiltraviganice. The Coltum bia correspondent of the Augusta Constit,intialst write' : ''I shall begin thii 1scrawl' ly toll. ing a little auecdote of Tit lilatriey. a native of the 'hlub,'. and now at mais-represent.ativo of the good people of Charleston, who, by the way, is shrewd, and excesively fond of at jke. A few. slays days since, lhe accosted a wcll kuowni citizen thus : 'I will wager 1,000 finest llavatnas that Moses owes every amerchait on Ilain st het ween tihe State Ilou1se .11ad the Co1talumbia IIlotel.' 'Ar (rce(.' aid P . ; 'we will soon test the mat ter.' Whereupon they started on their errand of in(ufiy. The first house ent:!red was the large grocr1 establist.unent of Seni & Soil. Said iurley : 'Mr. Senn, I an d irae:ed by the (ovelrnaor to settle the 1ttie claimi yo't hold agtainst him ; please in for ima me1 of the :amaount.' %i r. S., del ighated rushed to his ledger, tandl, in maotst afl'able mnn aer, told .ima, thait the noonnl t wasx first M3( for grocerieas, aanid 85 wh'ienol the Iivt.earnior hiiad haor. rowedl, sooni aflter a hii s iautgutrat tion. 11i ateIy recolecd that lhe contld not paiy the tamounit util thte next; day; ; whena thle paarty wet to thle next store, and so on1, imtil line Colutnaal .11lotel was reaulced E'very wearebaant fad ha bea(Id:ash er al onag t he waay ha ~d calims taglaaist lais~ Ex cleney, amany) of then-a exhiatitiag htaiis fau:i of paty ceratiliatesi whichl .\losaes had.. dopoasit-1 ed it I lie as overa two yeara' siniwe, Onie poaor Germiana, whao aa enas a is. bui5l(::s. tat -~tstoona perish, ulel'ss the~ Giovernoria would paay him ta otr $300 worth of eigars bought over a yeaa agao. hlualey won his baet, atnd now, with his pockiets well filled wvitha eigars, hte relates the lit tle ineident andta (adferS a 'smokle' to tall lhe mcetsa. Wh at ibloasen, does w ithi thle large amun iltts lhe hand aoles is nt lnowaa, .Ex- Treasur aca unalker say ~s I e must spjenad tat leat $,200t,00 ) 'eara, uitnd heo owes eva'rtyboady, an ntlaever' has~ 'a cenat,' uponca hais 'honaor aas a Ma-ii 'This self-sameo correspondtent how. ever, inaakes thne fo)llowingj annaoutue. T1he D)a ily Uit oan, a rspetable R~ ad ical organ, ba, bIe re-e tO*st aa blih edl. I ay r'esp'etatble, for' it -hats ever batttledl against corruptioun, extrava as.nee, ee.'' A (1hibi iih a Taiil. Wo are inf'ormaed that a chilad wtas born of colored pecrsons a bout a week itJ@, in Casawoll townshdip in this county having a tail. It is a proli-' gaitiona of spinal columna about six inches inl9ngth. The name of theO father is Henry Blagely. Our infor mation of this~ extraordinary eon firmation of Darwiismm is rathier meagre, but we w'ili endeavor to get The I'izard of lie Billiard Tabic. Adian 1zar, the ceclebrated ir01'renih billiard player, gfrave one Of his . Cien tific. billiard ettCrtaho2Intents inl the NcWGIOatde Town ll all, E'.ngaland, late ly, before an apprceiative -isseibly. Thougl an 'e::pt" with the cue, his f.ivoi.t ode. of play is hy spin. nliug th'e hall from between tle thumb and forofinger of the i ight hiand, and he has this LIat art. advan Quw over his oppimett who use th, cue, that he eu move his hall fioi any part of tle board and spin it frolr. whiebever side of hisolject-ball hall ie mo.t favorable for the in tended carom or hazird. h'le first itt2in in tile rogratinM was a carlln gamaie of 150 points up, wherein } lr. U. II. Banks of the iack Boy's hi, liard roonms . receiveil fifty points start, and wielded the oue in opposi tion to the powerful thumb and fo-e finger of the French professor. TIho plrofessor, who seeied able to ro - peat a losing liaard in one of the corner pockets any , 1 number of time.,, wonl, a iter I maltv l I s exhii'i:ioli of' skill, by nearly 150 poinit-, hik hiil es: break being a ;;ood all-.:roimd Vne, in whieh he s'"ed 137 pint. Toen tullowed an ,x u oi 's of f oxVy strokes, a mong whih Mi siur Izir played i new stroke, known us lie s!nke carom, the ball rnunniig the gauntlot of two decate a-l Iixteen tumit'ier2 glasses before ma12kiveg the desired earoin. lie iiadi eariis a., ter can.ing ,bi hall to tese ibe all sorts of cui-ves; made caroims from mi1s strokes, imado caroms on to the woodwork of the table, fron the tale onl to flh floor, caroied with lifteen pyramid balls, spun the halls into all tie pockets from CCry Cone'ivable angle, alld wn1ii up a nio;t marvol )us entertainn1ell4 t .v spinli"ig one of tihe halls upon a plate for foutr mini utes and ia half.--Sprit ofthe TMnes. It is conceded that if the Carpen ter New Election bill is referro to the Morton Coimittec of Privileges and EIltos i najority of tie coM mitteeo will report fIvoabVl0y 12upo2 it, The fllowing named Scuators will vole in favor of it, itamely :-Messrs. Logkn, Alcorn, 8uniner, Carpenter, and Satulsbury. It is ilo iumored that the President has again chanri-etd base on1 the 1)2Lou isiaa quaestion. Ie re marked to a Senator estetrday that. lie woulti not feel chagrined it it new elect ion shenlld be ordered in IouiAi;na, but for peronal ri4sons he.finds his hands tied, and lie is preveited fron taking further action in the .,preniiscs. The annoyances and rasctalities of these Louisianians, ho added, nre be yond all endurance, and lie hoped hn daly was not far disarst wheni his adm222inistration could throw them2 all oIff into ia conmmon potter's field of his past errors, which experience woirJl enablo hin to heep elear of in the future. - lie deprecates the for eig 0omplications likely to aris from the comiition of finanvial legis ation broIgh t aho-.t. 1.y the K:1 elog b ;islature in th'2' r1 iing bil. which virtually reip:diatcs the claims of* fri.--n bondhhrd's and enrieble. a few desprat 1" t ie::idvtuiert. The Iorul's helpieci i esie'he on Lo'u isantaLt affaiirs have e-, nn d inithe here. Var2ious pro)n2 inn g:n fIltlman aro suspected of beinig leaky, and) 4 evenl the fifteenf t 11me24n22ment br'othI cr5 areO22CS accue of' ta'kIcin gtt ~ too mne. - (!or. N. Y. Iera/ / 1] S~io f'ire' ori six we'tht ago( we pubhlishied a ltffter from2 Sto:'lout-ont. Tle's, En:glan:d, c4verhinig aL S'ate'o lit ofI rema2:tl ble f';a:s. whti ch thfs wa 1 ir bl4'iQeed jut'ific' himu it 144' c'on. hamt'. was-no24 le.-s a1 persona24ge thianf Hirigham Yonug4412, Liihe'l Morn210n Propi~h. ot ; atnd that, if' so, t he first wif'e oif Brigham2 ,i ' Youn g, 241 (lid womant 41 sfill liv~intg intJA21 Egandc and12 ini a sta to ofeox. 1t2220 pove(.rty haIi's a claim up lon him n for su2ppor2f t wich lie cannot sfely'I same2t sutbject a (circums14tan1tialI 'Ito ment22I' fmm4 142 El'A isli:hpe,-m, wh'ichi mnaterially strength n the 2k ;',riui faece cas: of Mtrs Bi gham4, of l'. land, as thle irs. t'wihco of ighamIt24 Yo(un2g of' Utah.-N. Y . 111(rald. The I'lwmine iji lit'lclf . Trho latest reports f'roin Bengal nire anlythiing but encou raginrg. Thte famiine seemsi incr'it able. Theiu rect-t failur'oof orops inlvolves tihe .sub. sistenceo of some thirty millions of' peoPlO. "int 0omo villages of1 Dinagepore, says a oorrespondent of tho L~ondoni TPimes, "the peoplo ate eatmiig juniglo produce tand the p1 ith of the plantain t'-ee, whiile they give a sort of tamarind stew to their chil.. i.'1 ho Gilded Ago" of Mark Twain and C2harles D. Warneor meets with scatnt praise from thae Entglish press. The Athenmeum is divided between its wondior at the preposterous pohygot miottoes at tihe hiead of the chapters, 11222 thte watshiing of so imuch (2f t he dirty linanf of Amneionn ecat'v We have recke!ie tihe fi rst numl of a lew Suiiday School paper just issued in Chiengo. It has for its mntto "Onward to Ieaven,'" and it cointaIIills I request. for a inotice from other pap1 ers. One of the most proi. iqlenlt of thEo iteis in it is the fol -)it lhiuigs was a little too fond , his bitteris, -nd one day, after :tak i lii'er' er two too loany, hie U, 't I by the ro:asile to s leep. .\ :' ii d 0ob tervedCt hin, andi th ink ing vas d diOabghted on his n. ,t ald pclkel him in tile face. Vit a r 14p11 old t l Ln 1S looked up and , 1, 'oure a tice bit too -mart I ail't doaid yet."' c d) iot profess tW know iuch ab),oi (lie be t methoids of instrue in cliidren, but this seeis to us to be ju-t tie kind of intellectual food to fill the infanit mind with a yearn .ing for pure religion, and to d ispose it to seekI to hid peace in holiness. The chil whose tendency to' yield to IthII implses of original sini, impels it. to walk ill the p-ath of wickedness, n-.iLlailly wonid embrace the truthes of C'aristianlity wVitIh impetuons8 ardor, iniunelitely after realing atoit tle inillers of old Bng, an11d it the aLtnsitns to bitters did not convince S11eh an evil disposed ha be of the in'sti ility of all carthly happiness eti t hliii) ile collversation between 11s and tihe blizzard Nwould creatc ai i Ipresile lotiiig for celestial joyW. We canl cordially recommend sae ai paper this.-Echange. A war on the liquor dealers has ibeenii waged adli won in v shiingt-oni Ohi.. ly tle woenn. Eighty of tIhem orgnz, dI for tlle conflit. W hile s:OMe V rema11:1in ed in the villinge church -1ind toled the bieli, others went to the saloins in iquads of' a d1o 1zen or so and argied witi the prprietors. All but. one caipit ulated at once. The excepti, m.n was Pat Slater, who sa i(d that bin was his own bnsi nie'; id nlobody'i else., aind he would stiek to it in spite of nil the \omn iln Waiington. Ile swore at - the younegest 'Iiud prettiest of his oppo nents, ntd wis itterly impervious to soft words and coaxing. While they held prayer meetings in his harroom he sold drinks to the few ni1 whoso era ing" werue sI rong enough to make themot llt!d. Th.e coilice weit on for a e-, the wometlili relioving each oher )Itl ovenpIying the -salo1n.'i, sing. ing and pratyig from early every m1orn ing um if ite c cvry niight. One bitter col.1 day Pat spIrinkled tle floor wit; water and o-pened the doors and wind3ows. The woenlil built a bonfire in tihe strects, and by goiI)g out occasionilly to warm theimlselveq, stood it like little men. They all got Fore throats, however, and for the use of the next day's detail a boot I wa s 1itted nIj cross lhe sidtewaik with a store ill it. Finally i't ite.ti n l o l liq or to a minor in violit. ion of Ohlio law, and w;S pris-eculited s;o Vigorously talit Ie tu1:jl lIated. There is not a drinlk ing place open in the viillage. The proeryiv owniers have signied a plt-e not to rentt Ili enises for I iquor selling, the d rugists to sell none ex cept on a physicians prescriptionl, and thoe Y pyi cianIs not, to pr'eri be itecept iln Calses where it is nhsoin tely ne0cC sary'. A simiilar' motvemiet i< now going forward ini G reen bie d, Ohio. i t e i ' h i h ul e t '~eph i s'e~ T l o r p h . arrang~uents1ar bintg tmttle fora ex ~t(tor !b. l~Vs. iFoot, of Mis Ii.ap !roi a' :. 'msel on a corres po11'tnilce whichtiI appearedt in the Wa' i'hintont i' ppers."' I is saidu laia'r that there is no daiiger-of a duel. A litter of linrfs, The (Geographicall Society of' Ialy his r- t ived fronm A 'liandia, with thie n : f' th deathI of' the explor.. er, Miai' *, andh viouis thbnoloiicaul objects, t.,o l'itn indti~iiduls whlomi lie hiad I rwarid.'d of' t ho tribe4 of the Akka tir Tiku-Tikk i, and whomu the Ilearned travelecr Iad ottugh t of the n jg \ltunza. Thle *0 iuilividuals11, s3s tho Lonidon Med~tie~l licord-of whom one is eighlteen y'ears old arid forty inches in height, and (the other sixtconi years andi thiirty-onio inolienI high-ar statedi by Miamni to belong to the r;tce of diwarifs described by the G ermanti explorer Sel-weinfurth, wsho dlescribed thm cnrefully. They are pot-hel lied, very thin limbed anid knlock kneed, with spherical and priogn athlous crania, vecry long limbs, copper skins uld erisri, tow-like hair. General Grant thinksc the Repub lican party has too much tdead weight to carry, aind that it is time to lnihtoni the ship, whereupon thie Boston Post mildly suggests that "he should jump oft." TIhe suiddon departure rom the town of Newberry of Auditor Hay ward has planted thorns in the breasts f'or arnn n nu o - 2.u. CondenseI News, I Mrs. Senator Robertsons enter. t ainients in Wa b inton are t among the most ojoyable of the day. The jury in the trial of the.,Duiffus brothers in Charleston for the killing of young West, rendered a verdict of murder against Jun. Duffus, and inan slaughter aga inst B. S. Duffu4. ITh'ey t have appealed. Attorney General t .\elton is said to have niado the most impressive spece heard in Charles-' toi in many year. It is thought that all the , war claims against the government will be repudiated. Bruce and Pease have been oleeced Senaturs from Nissis.sippi. Oo is r white, the other colored. - , Fostur Blodgett is a defaulter to Georgia to the amount of $10,000. b lie wants to be Treasurer of New berry County. Bismarck and the Germn Catho lies are waging a fieree contost. . Two Mexican women fought a duel recently, and one was killcd. Another Virginia Radical Revenue ir collecter has absconded with $100, 000. In England, thur far 291 conserva- c tivei aid. 248 Liberals have boon clected to parliament. Congress is still fighing over the Bankrupt act. IB$ls have been introduced to fix rt letter postage at two cents, repealing tha whi.skey and toba-co tax, aiding the Atlantic and Great Western Canal, and. consolidating the North t Carolina Western, the North Care- u Hun, W ilmiugton Charlotte and Rutherford, and Spartanburg and d Union Railroads, the bond-;, at six per cent. to be endorsed by the State -r of North Carolina, and the Treasurer et of the United States. 'I'he Carlists. are weakening rapidly it is di'id The Ashantees hrovo submitted to y the British. Eingland gains rich ter- f( ritory on the Gulf of Guinia. 0 The Poor Indialn Agaio an the War Path. w vi F OMAHA, Feb. I1.-The excitement over the Indian news is becoming grea . There is no doulit but that in ' conseqiictiee of the failure of agents ti to provide for them, the Indians are t leaving their ioervations to them selves at the expense of the ,-ettlers, a herders and ranchimen. Tie follow. ing is ollicially received by Gen. Houg. gies, from 11h0 emntii:11daint at Sidney h I'eb. : "Wheeler and MAercliant, ro. " liable ranchmen, stato that a party a of I ndiane di-ove them six mil's last a night. They abandonid -their herd 1 and came to Sidney6 This ranche is near Court House Rock, and I am b( authorired to send cavalry to drive G, these Indians across the platte. No news from llorton's. party, the com. manding ofieer at Sidney was direct. ed by telegraph to Fend out all his available esavalry to Lawrnoe's Fork rt ds far as Bedington, ranchit. Gen. w Reynolds, commanding Fort De si Russel, has been instructed by tele tl graph to eid two cavalry companies uinder reliable officers to the s1me to place, thence to thorough ly scout tll. counttry and dI(rive thke raiding Indi. - ants within reach o)f.1ortht Platte and .Se to talke sixty days cooked rat ions-arnd sixty rounds of ammunition with bi them.'' jPcath or the Wife of Blob .stIckney th e Ie Great Biareback Rlder. p - . - sc The wife of' Robert Stickney,. tho et celebrated circus. rider and athlete, died yesterday-iftbrnoon at the resi- a detoe. of b'eriafat her, Jon Robinson theO veteran circus manager, on Sov. 01 enthi street, after a ten daiy's illness hi in ch-ildbe.d., ,Kate Virginia (Robin, hb sonr) Stiok ocy was. born, in Norfolk, hi Yirginia, April 5, 1851. Of John JRobinisoni's large family she -was the fr only daughtor. Talented, lively, well PI educated aind attractive in person,f she was the favorite with all of the t~ family. She loaves two children, Pl both boys--one two years six mo~nths 1Y old, an J the other ten days old. The ie beronavedl husband was brought 'back hi~ from New York, whither lhe had gone nc since tho birth . of the child, . and nt reached the house barely in . time to y~ see bi,5 wife in lher,-last hours-Cin- tr cinati Commercial, Fel>.7. of Congressonal.L WasKING-roN, February 10.-- th Gordon's bill granting aid to the At~ ,. lantic anet Groat Western canal, di - reets the Comptroller of the Curren- or cy to issue to the A tlantie and Great wi Western .Canal Company . currency ie notes to the extent of .$80,000 pe mn mile for each section of Len mile, of to the canal that shall be constructed ; te provided that the company's first, mortgaige forty -year bends, to. an to equal amount, have previously been Ii deposited with him as security for c the Government., . The currency so issued is to be is redeemed by the Ompany's paying ej anniuallye inito the United. Rtatas Trean. al It also has an importantlsignification, which you will do well to heed. Th' closing of the eyo signifies that in tIll . your dealings with mankind, you are r bound to have an oyo to business. Laying the finger alongsido the nose is emblematical of wisdom, and places you at once among the 'know. - ing ones.' This is extremely handy in proguosticating now weather, un'd saves the ivoar and tear of almanacs. Wagging the ears signifies sublimity I of purposo, and is tiought to be cm. blematioal of childhood's hatppy hours. It is also supposed by sonic profound scholars to have a distinct reference to apple dumplings, but I this fact is soniewhat obscuro by the dust of ages. In token that you are one of us, you will now be branded. When one granger desires to ascertain 'for sure' if there is an another of the order in the room, he raises himself gently by the slack of his unmentionables, scratches his off thigh with his near hoof, and remarks, in a voice of thunder : 'Arn there any grangors about 7 The answer is 'Jeese-wax.'" I was here interrupted, Mr. Editor, by a Volley fired into the open win dow, evidently intended for tme. For tunately, I escaped without a scratch, and, which is of more consequence, suoceedeol in fetching off my procious manuscript. - This is about all there is in the ceremony of importanoo. I must leave the ..country at- once armed men are at my heels. They know that I am writing to expose then. You mnayabear flom me again, if I should dcci it best to expose the bther degrees. Until then adieu. From your sacoed friend, B. POLE. No-ic.-This ceremony of initin tion is used during the absence of the lady members. Their initiatory ceremonies are entirely different, being iuch Miinplified, us they should be. Chuckles. A dog with two tails was seen in Germantown the other day. One belonged to an ox and was carried in the mouth of the canine. A crusty old bachelor says that love is a wrotohed busines, coisist. ing of a little sighing, a litti crying, a little dying and a deal of lying. "How greedy you aro " - a i d one little girl to another, who had .t ahen the best apple in. the dish, 'J. was going to jako. at.!. A friend wris on editor- for four dollars, '-heamo e'sso very short," and gets in reply the hoartless response, "Do as I do ; stand upon a chair." "I should have no objection to my wife's reigning," said an affectionate husband, "if it were not for the fact that.when she reigns she is so apt to stqrm also." Some thoughtful person says: "It is unkind to ridicule those items in the papers about centenarians. It is no easy thing -to becomo a con.. tonarian ; several have failed." ''Experimnental phiilosophy-n.-king a young lady to marry you. Natur al philosophy-looking. indifferenti and saying you were only in fun when she refuses you." A Massaclhusetts olergymian is re qusted to resign because lhe used neveiro language in .forb'idding some young lanmbi in his flock to gambol in the "kissing game" cal led "d rop~ the handkerchief." It has ended in their dropping him. C. L. King, State Doputy of the Oranges writes that the number of granges in Miohigan now exceeds 200, and that the appications come in thicker thtan ever.: ITheo calls on the National Grange for charters now ex ceed 100 per day. *A man in. Fayette county, .Penn., read in an almanac that his feet eould be kept warm by lining his boots with coayenne pepper. lie doesn't feel much like walking dow, i but he say. he would like "'to find the manl what put that in the almanae." . At..an--Alabama fire, the other dlay, the ladies turned out and~ carried water and helped the merchants to remove: goods. | Nineteen newspapers in the N orth will copy the foregoing item, and say something smart about "fire belles."] 'fThe tuost artful (lodger is a married man who lives in this city. lHe points with pride to tihe shattered wail op. posite his seat at tihe breakfast-table, where thertea-oups, salt,'cellars and slop bowls that she -heaved at him struok.-[Brooklyn- Argus. i"There is nothinmg,"says a Boaten journal, "which will kill a man so quick as. whiskey." -Then, whiskey must., be even more deadly than nicotine, of which. it is said' -by a Western paper thata aingle drop en a dog's nose will kill a man in three minutes. *It is said U ..t a hand-organ has been dug uip at Pompeii. We ecan stand the organ,. but, if an attempt Is made to dig up thi 'grinder and moh. range Scerets llevealed-Ilow Initia lions are Conducted. On being brought into the ante ooi of the Lodge, (Greongroco 'eiple, No, 101,) 1 was told that ad been balloted for and nceepted ly infornaut, who was, securel; anskod by what I afterwafl learn d was a large burdock .Icaf peiforn ad with holex for the eyes, told i) hat if I valued my life it would b4 eeessary for me to strip. As I di( onsider that considerable worth ti ie, and as he italicised his wishe: y carclessly playing with a seven iooter, 1 withdrew from my gar ents with eagerness. My .nmasket iend then furnished me with the galia- of the -firet degree, calle" The Festive Ploughboy," whi el mnsitted merely of one large cab ago leaf attached'to-a waist band o1 otato vines. In this airy costume I as conducted to the door, where n )mpanion gave three distinct raps. [ was securely bliud-foidedby bind a slico of ruta-bag over ,each Io.) A sepulchral voice from with asked : "Who comes I" "My guide atnswered : - -A youth I agrioulturist who desires to be. ne a grangerl" ' , . Sepulchral voice-Have you look. I him carefully over ? Guide -1 have noble gate-keeper. S. V.--Da ou,find any agricultu I marks about his person 7 Guide-I do. S. V.-What are they? Guide-The candidato has carrot Lair, reddish whiskers and a turned )UOse. S. V.-'Tis well. Why do you 3.ire to become a granger ? Guide (answering for candidate) hat I may be tiereby the better abled to harrow up the feelings of e rascally politicians. S. V.-You will bring in 'the, can date. My, worthy -stripling, as >u cannot-see, 1 will cause you to el that you are received at the door i the three points of a pitchfork, ercing the region of the stomach, hich is to teach you the three great rtues-faith, hope and charity. ilith in yourself, hope for cheaper rin miachinery, and charity for the shtning-rod peddler. You will 1w be ha rnesrsedl and in representa on of the horse legasus, will be sted us to endurance and wind. The candidate is here attached to SmalI imuitation plow by iiieLns of a .npen ' ..rness. A d riod pumpkin lie is put inl his. mouth for' a bit and idle : lie inmde to get down- upon I-fours, the guido oises the bridle, d uged on by a granger armned with iulanda thist le tile candidate is gal. ped thrto times around tile room 'bile makiing thecircuit, the momi :rs a rise and illng: - up and dust, you.bully boy: Wh4o wouldn't be a granger ? ,he histle's prick don't cause yeu joy, 1'o feeling you niukit be estranged, el ! After this violent exercise,, lie is bbed dry with corn-cobs, bees.. xed n hero thistled, and brought unding up before tile grest,ohief e Most Worshipful Pumpkinhead. M W. P. 11.--Why do you desire be a granger ? Cand idate, (answe'rig for himself,) -T[hat I may learin .. to extinguish wing mach~line agonita. M. W.JP. II.--ilave your hands ~en hardened0( with toil ? Candidate-Not extensive'ly, but en I amp rnot l:unniing for ofmeo. N. W. P. lI.-'JTis :well, for our dges contain several who .ire sup. >sed to be ready to sacrifice them. ives for the good of thir cnstitui its.. M. W. P. II. (sevagely)-Givo me ebh w of tobacco ! and id ate, searchinig hl isel f thor ghly, but as there is no place about m to st'ck a pocket, tries to'explain, it the M~ost Wo-shiipfuml Pumpkin adl interrupts him with -. "Never wind, my dear 'young iend. I am wvell aware that in your esent condition you c an no more rnish your friend with the weed an Adam could be'comfortable in a ug-bat and tight boots. It is mocre to teach yott the groat lesson of onomy-doing.to o'hers as you'd te to have them do to you.-' You with w be conducted to the Most lInmi at Squmashiprodueer, who will tloach u thle grand~ghaiing~ signs of din 'ss. Thb e sign,nmg worthy brothe r, 11 insure you against most of the ills the agriculturist-amongst others, ainst t roughits. and being bit by e ferocious grasshopper." The candidate 18-now conducted to e Most Eminent Squash Producer, so says :"'My worthy brother, I 11 now inves't you with the der of the Fesative Ploughboy, sichl you have well won by your hero. achievement while hiarnessed; sy you eveor wear it with pleasure yoursuelf, and may it be a moans of rror to your enemlies.", (Thie M. E. 8. P. then proceeds invest the candidate with the rega i of the Festive Ploughboy, which naists of a long tomato necklace.) "The grand hailing..sign of distresb made by gently closingi the left re, . laying .the right, fore finger ong side the nose, and violently hiigerilng over-the Foinal(s. The tieneral Assembly dr.i i its wveary way along with see niI.Iy I) object in view save to kilt t i Imo, and with little other result thain that of nceu im'lating the legislativ.t i'.n en ses. To acocoimpiisli the ncenssa ry work would not require more ha n a few days, for there is nothing to be doIn except. to pas the geiIeri I a p. propriation bill, )vbioh was 11ntro ducell a fewv days ago, and the' sveciq1 appropritition hill for salaries anti por diem of the members and ol1iee INCioi;NTAI AL'I~'.~ The general impression scems; to bip that the sessionl will run on uil sioim1e time in March, after the great bulk of the taxes have been - paid. The "old stagers" who mostly regulato matters in both branches are deter. mined to remain on hand th-tt they ma-1y see the finds disIribiutedl whvler 1 they will do the most good for pu blio officials. IN Tnl' HOUSE o-day R rid, (if licaufoit, introluced ia resolution, with a whereas, that, utder the rules of the llou , W? ineniber is allowed to absent him ef from the sessions of the body% with. out leave , 1t4l whereas the 1I1n. ;. l illri, of Fairlecfd, has beet :h) soot without lbaeV, that t1hrefoe ihe said MI. S. Miller b sent for and dcalt with according to the rules of the louse. O'rant, of Charlest-n, moved to amend by inserling the names of J. A. Brennan nd C. C. Puffer, of Charleston. J1o0 r mvs moved as asubstihito for the wh-.1 matter that MIr. George A . Reid anl Mr. M. S. Miller be exeused from further attendance in the flose. Reid retorted with a resolution t hat the Hlome deeply sympathize with. the people of liaureos for their lilt. fortumnato lot of being Crsed 211 disgraced by auch a thiig in hium form as Uncle Joe. the unscrupulous fraud and swindler. A fter a few more snch dclioato plen::miiries, tha original resolution ws Id oi ln f III 'able.-Colnim/jda tCe ldnt of' h/: Charleston Aews. I Tribile to tlhe liavery of fLthe Coinif Crait Troilp1s. The New York Sit, in taing trong groind against tihe i nere.ise <f' the liit0J 8:ate army compares tie mn a teri, I of the Uiion army, during the bite war with ha -of the Con federates, and says . "'lle gnali ty of bite Coiie-lerate soldirs effectually dispose.4 of the plea (l it it is nee eary to kop the regilar army as a nureits. On tle imiLi side was the entire rank and lilte of the old army, Of that foreo the rebels hiad only rfli cers. The Confedtrabe raltnk aid. file was composel wholly of raw men, Mid, in the first two years of thle wai, volunteers. Yet what ai infantry Ihey wero ! Thos' of us who saw them charge in line of battle never approach t Cozifederato cemetery without taking offour hats in henoongo to the devoted braves who ever wali: d htraight into the jaws of death without blanchiin". (Court Rloom Wit. At a court held in~ Leynchlburg, Va., a distiinguished member of' the bar, a ppealed to th fc (ourt for the d isa charge of his clefint, wound up with the statement that if theo court set him t on further trial, a stain wouldl ho left upon his ebitracter that could not be washed off-"by all the waters of' the blue ocean, and all the soap that sould be manufacturedl fromi lie ponderous carcass of thte c~iiommon wealthi's attorntey." ..To this the pona Icerous attorney replied, that while lie "doomed it, foreign to the case at the .bar, lho desired to advise the uour't, if they thought it advisable to boil htisibody iuto soap, that they should look to the opposite counsoli for the -concentrated lye, out of whIch to maike It," Cool. A man sauintcrod in an apothneary' ihop in Portland, Maine, the other luorning, and after spending a few nomonts looking into the showcases, inid turning a p ieee of tooth-pick leveral times In his mouth, startled thec clerk with the quxestion i W a is good to euro poisoning ?". "W lhat kind of poisonin~g ?" asked flioeclerkac "Well lauduanum poisoning," says the siranger. .. "You see; the old woman took a- couple of foepoonfuls oif lauidanum, and1( 1 kinder thought I'd: het ter drop into a pill shop and see wvhat's good for her," (sai -this In a; Irawling voice.). . '"Here, John,". houted the clerk,-"put up a strong montic as quick as you can, and you, iir take it home, give it to your u ifo ollow it up with strong coff'ee, awtl. salt a doctor." . A doctor I'' s ys the inan, takingsthe medicine, "sho 'lon't waste money on cdoetors, noti it - [ know it."-Portland (Alo ) .Adver "A lass, a lass I" oxohaimied an old, bachelor, who wanted to. .arm