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IS $ra Harburg Mens. ? TWO 1K>1J,A11K ]>KR ANNUM. GQD TVTvT O OUR OOUNTRY. { ALWAYS IN ADVANC? VOLUMEJ^_ _ SATURDAY MOBNIfG, MARCH 1, 1873. NUMBER 3 THE.ORANGrEBUR? NEWS ?:o:_ d -P Uli L TS HE f) A T OR AJISTOl^BTTTlO Erory Saturday Horning. BT TUR ORANGEBURG NEWS COMPANY ?-:n:? TRRMS OF "SUBSCRIPTION. ? na Capy for *?* y??ar. $- 00 .1^ ij Ii g{. Month.. .... 1.00 Any one Bonding TKN DOLLARS, far a TJl*h ef New Subscribers, will receive nti kXTBA COPT for ONP. YP.AU. free of ?karge. Any one Bending FIVE DOLLARS, ?r a Clwb of Naw Subacrlhcre. will receive an EXTRA COPY for SIX MONTHS, free of ?karge. ?:o:? fJiHATKS OF ADVERTISING. 1 Square 1 at luaertion. $\.f>P 2oT ?* . 1.00 A Square eonaista of 10 linen llrcvier or ?ne inch of Advertising apace. Adnalniatrator'e Noticea. -,..$5 00 Metieee of Dismisanl of Guardians, Ad min iotr atom. Executors, &e.$N 00 Contract AdvovtiaemeUta inierted upon the Meet liberal terms. ??:o:? MARRIAGE anU FUNERAL NOTICES, feet exceeding ene Square, inaortud without ?barge. ?m:? ?bT~ Terms Cash in dvance. "^s Browning & Browning, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, t>RAX?KBi:K^ ?. II., So. < h. Malcoi m I. Browmko. A. F. Bkowxino. hm 4 AUGUSTUS B. KNOWLTOK (Formerly ot me New York Bar.) ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW, ORAXC*i:i!UIl?i, S. C. _Jaly 8_ _ tf W. EtLEY TRIAL JUSTICE, jrloaI?lcMco In Fork or I.disio, ALL BUSINESS F.NTHU8TKD will be promptly and carefully atltndad te. jaiyas iy DR. ?. BERWICK LEG ARE, SURGEOif DKNTIST, ferRHaat? JlaKimorc C Olli fee Vental Surgery. ? FFICE MABKET-ST. OVER STORE OF J. A. HAMILTON. METALLIC CASES. ? THK? UNDERSIGNED II AR QN HAND all ef the various Sizes of the above Caacs, which can be furnished immediately on ap plication. Alao manufactures MOOD COFFINS as ' SAfeel, and at the shortest notice. Apply to ||. RIGOR, Mar 5?6m Cayriagn Manufacturer. REEDER & DAVIS, COTTON FACTORS a kb m ?j^?nfral Commission Merchants, aaj? Adgtrt H'/mr/, CI1 ARLESTON, S. C. ?awsLL Raaoaa. Zimhkuhas DAvia a ? ? ?et Ii . 6m T. F. Baooia. R. R. Huuotxa II. C. HoeotxR. BRODIE CO. COTTON FACTORS COMMISSION MERCHANTS, XO&Tll ATLANTIC WHARF, CHARESTON. 8. C. . ^Jberal Advancea made on Consignment. Rat?a TO Andrew Siutonda, Esq., I'ras t \tX National Bank, Charleaton, S. C. may 21 wee if WlSHINGTONltfJUSE BY Mrs. M. W. Strafcton, ooasaa &KRVAIS & AS8KMBLY STREETS COLUMBIA, & C. tfedvenjcflt to the Oreenville and Charleston Railroads ami the Business portion of V* ?U the City. Rate of Transient Board? T*o Dollars per Day. RegUlar^HeSfdsfs rteeivsd at Reasonable ?tea. ?hip If ONE OF THE LEAST. * IT nllio. would you like to drive down to the island with mc 7 I uui going to visit n patient thcro,' said Dr. Max Mar shall, puttilig? his head in at the d >or of the Hitting room, where llallie was prac ticing si sonata. 'Yes, indeed ! anything to escape ihta horried practice !' Hhe exclaimed, jump ing up with at] air of relief. 'You are flattering, upon my word,' paid her brother, smiling, as she da-hed out of the room in search of her hat and sack. 'II.>w does the pic-nic come on V ho quuricd when they were fairly ou their way. 'Oh, capital ! I invited them all to day, aud not ono of them declined ! There is one girl in our class that I did uot invite. Hut 1 nm sure my reasons arc very good oiicb. 'i he girl's name is lluldah Lautb, and she lives over on the Ycbt sido of the islaud. II er father*is nothing but a common fisherman, aud as pour as poverty. He's coarse, and uneducated 'and eommou. Helle Elmer has seen him ; he weut to her father's not long iifio with fish to sell, llulduh used to go to schon! on the island, when they hud any, but it baa been cloned for the past mx :..out It's. Last term she came to our school, aud Mr Kerby put her into our class. To tell tlm truth, she is a smtfrt scholar, but she is dread fu.ly disagreeable Jin other ways. She tnlk* very ungrammutically ami dresses horribly; than, too, I feel very sure sin has a b.-idAtcmpt-r.' ?Suppose lluldah had your opportuni tics and advantages ! The lact that ah? comes to school proves that sh* lias B?ine ambition, fof it must be a long distance How does she manage? Does site wall to town cv( ry d ty V ?Shu haw a boat aud rows up when the weather is nut too bad ; then sin walks. It is throe miles by land. 1 heard her say one day ; and she has no: Leon absent ouru.' 'Now, lliillio, I wish you would invite iier to your pic nie. (Jive her a chance: you do not know what a kind word, or look, or sei may do. Hut of course you mu-t make up your mind to treat her prcc:sely hs you do other guests, with the same welcome and friendly kindness; aud indeed*you will bo obliged to watch a little to sec that others do not Blight her or wound her feelings by thought lers or uukiud^rcniarl.s. 1 know that this Will uot be quite plcasuut, will, in fhCt, require some sacrifice on your part, but, nay word for it, jou uot rrgicat it in the cud/ ?But,' s.-id llallie, rather reluctantly, 'I do wish it watt auy other occasion ; I'm afraid it will spoil all our pleasure The l(hers will look upou her um an in truder.' 'They will aoon cease to d<< so if you use lact; and Greta aud 1 will be I here tc help you.' ?Bat I do not sec what ?ood is to conic of it.' ?Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the leant of these my brethren yi buve done it unto mo,' Mux said, gently 'I? that I I n 11 lab's llOUlU, do }OU Slip pose V usked llallie, pointing to n wealhci beaten cottu-gc aitutcd at the termination of the road, aud some du? taneu below theui. 'It must be, us 1 was assured there wus ho other house near the beach. 1 ?hall have to be a little careful in dtiv ing down. It looks rut her rough.' It wus rough, but they got along nicely, and soon drove up to the door. Just un they stopped, lluldah horse 11 came round the corner of the house with a pair of oars in her urtuB ?Good afternoon, lluldah,' said llallie, cordially. 'We are just in time to catch you, 1 sec. Let mc make you acquainted with my brother, Dr."Marshall.' Max lifted his hut with Kas much deference us if lluldah had been a queen. She in return flushed und bowed rather awkwardly. She was, ns llnllic had said, 'a striking looking girl' ot rather a gypsyssh rast. A brunette naturnlly, she wait icndorcd still darker t r? in constant t xposofe. The etiect was neutralized, however, by the rich color that glowed in the rounded cheeks. Her dark hair wus cut short aud nlung to hei head in close curbing locks, like a boy's Her eyes exactly (umtchod her hair in color ntid were very Crank and pleasmt in expression. Altogether she was uny thing but uupleasing, and Max was vory much struck with her appearance ?Won't you come into the house V she said, putting tLe oars dowu. Her voice (no, was pleasant; not the hurah tones that Mat had expected to hear. 'No, thtink you; wc will not detain you, 1 have Come to invite you to a pic nic I "am to give next Wednesday, to celebrate my fifteenth birthday. All the member* of our class jjare going. bc>-ides a few others. My brother, here, ami sister Greta are fining, too, to keep ub young people out of mischief,' and Hallic laughed merrily. 'Wo arc going in a yacht to Thompson's Grove, at the lower end of the inland. We can stop here for you, add that will save you the juurnoy to town. I hope y\>u will go. 'Thank ye,' said lluldab, hesitatingly . 'Hut I s'pose the rest of the girls will be dressed up. und you'll be nahamcd of uie in a cutiker.' 'Indeed I shall not. I shall wear one myself, so we will keep each other com pany. You must jot hesitate on that account.' 'You will lose time by coming in af ter me, when you urc fairly under way, and p'raps the captain v.on't like it.' 'It is nothing to him any way. We hire bis boat for tho day, and of course be is bound to do what wc wish htm to. We afe to sta't from the wharf at one o'clock, but I don't suppose we shall reach here bi F??re two unless the wind is very favorable. 'You will go, wou't you V li*c8j I'll go,' was Huldah's cone u sion. ?You were going rowing, Miss IIul dab, were you not ?' said Max. 'Yes, I go every day, almost. Would n't ynu like to go'i I'd love dearly to take you.' Ilallio's eyes sparkled. 'Oh, T wish wc might, Max !' ehe said eagerly. 'You ' can row, too, and help Huldah, you know.' 'I should be most happy.' was the re spouse; and in a few moments they were skimming over the wotor propelled by ?iulduh'a powerful arm?, for she refused Max's oilers of a?si.-tatieo with a laugh 'It's oothin' but play to uie, I'm so um.-d to it,' she declared. 'We have had a delightful row, Miss lluldab. I do pot know vthen I have enjoyed one better,' Max said when the were parting an hour later. ?Yes, iudeed.it wuspcrfc My splendid added Hallic. 'And oh, 1 furgol to say [ that if it KtoritM on Wednesday, wc shall have the pic nie on Thursday, Guud bye till then.' Wednesday dawned fair and cloudless, and all was bustle at the Marshalls'. Koxes and baskets and pails were irans ported to the yacht ; Fred iu his jaunty sailor suit darting iu and out, up stairs and down, calling, now for twine, now for nails ; pressing everybody into ser vice, und creating a great commotion alter his usual fashion, At last every thing Was carried nw:ty, and the bouse lesuuied its woiitud quietness. The party assembled promptly, and ?just as the town clock struck one the S.\ifi.' with swelling ?airs left the wharf. 'Now we're off!' shouted Frod Mar shall. 'Three cheers in honor of Miss Hal lie's birthday,' said Harry Perkins, waving bis bat, and all joined lustily in the shout. Mirth prevailed, when sud denly ("barley Lombard Fred's particu lar crony, nud fully his equal in mis chief, exclaimed, 'Why, wc are putting iu to shore ; what's that lor '/' 'We ure going to* take in tho hist of my guests, lluldab Lamb,' said Hallic, quietly. There was a movement of surprise, and Helle and Maude looked at each other with exprcsdons ol disgust, while madcap May Tyrrel whispered, 'I wonder if she will wear her murin'? best ?* go-to-meet in' gown.' Huldah stood on the beach, looking very bright aud pretty. Her drcs* ol pink aud white calico, though plain was neatly made especially becoming. 'I had no idea that Miss Lamb was lucll a fine-looking girl,' whispered Gus Maynaid to Helle Himer. 'She is good-looking enoupfa if any ^ oue admired that style,' ?he responded, 1 rather ungraciously. j Thompson's Grove was a faVoritc resort for pleasure parties, being a picas ant drive or sail, and affording every facility to hakes or pic-nit's. Tho wind was favorable to day, und the '8wift' did nut belie her Jtittuie, tusking u-i usually good time. I 'Why. I here's Tom Harrison's sail boat ! I wonder if he's in it V said Fred, as he caught night of a- sail at a little, distance 'It it is, let's ask hidjtojofn the party. He's real jolly.' he continued, cn?tinpr a sly glance" at (Jrc**. They were not long in overtaking the boat in which was seated a youug man with a particular, merry countenunce, who accepted the proffered invitation with great readiness. Disembnrkation did not take long, as all turned to with a will and 'transported the various arti cles from the boat to the grove. Then the croquet sets wero placed, and those who wished to play chose sides, while smuc ^stopped to watch the games aud others strolled away. lluldah formed one of a merry group who started off in search of oak loaves for wreaths, und (JusMwynard accom panied them, grc.ttly to Belle's chagrin, for she was devoted to croquet, aud had counted upon Gus for a partner. But he had taken a decided fancy to lluldah, who appeared particularly well to day, and kept the party laughing by her witty smiles and shrewd remarks. 'Why I'd no idea there Was so much in her,' said one of the !;'r's t? Mai lie. 'Nor I,' whe rejoined] frankly, 'bnt I suppose it is our own fault thai we huvo not found it out before.' 'See how it is clouding up,' remarked some one as they rose from the table, after supper; for tiny had a table ox temporised for the occasion. 'Do you think it is going to rain, Captain Wheeler ?' said one of the girlh, anxiously. 'I hope not, for it would spoil nil our fun, fireworks, and then a moonlight night home.' 'Waal, no; it looks to me like a change of wind. I shouldn't wonder if j it blowed pooty hard for a spell, but guess 'twill clear away plnaaant by the time you're ready to start for hum.' The wind was evon now blowing pretty hard and the gray waves dashed against the rocks with an ominous sound. Dr. Marshall was smoking his post prandial cignr, as he paced the: beach, when some one touched him on the arm, and, turniug. J;s beheld Hul ? niih ?n ''"'?'?'V*,^'^''"' on hei face. 'Dr. Marshall, your Lrot'-icr nu?I May Tyrrcl went off in Mr. Harrison's boat jnst after supper, and tltoy huvo not eptne bmk. I have becu up on the t\<cks to sec if 1 could see them. The boat is oti the other aide or the he ltd. and quite a distance below, with full spread sail. It is very rough, ami the wind is against them ; it looked to tue as if they w^re in trouble?at any rite, they will be .in great danger in a little while, I nm afraid. Docs your brother understand managing a sailboat'/" 'Not in a squall. The foolhardy fellow 1' exclaimed Max, throwing away his cigar, 'But how can we help ideas?' 'There is the row boat belonging to the yueht. If you and Mr. Harrison and my sell should a'art immediately, we could roach them in a little while.' .Tuft nt this moment Tom nud Gretu made their appearance.' ?What is tho matter ?' exclaimed the latter, as tdic noticed their undisturbed faces. A few seconds served to explain, and Tom Harrison started to disengage the boat. ?But you must not go, Miss lluldah ; I think we can manage without you. and I cab not consent to you pitting yourself in peril/ 'I am not afraid, and I am very strong I think my help will not come amiss, and I may be able to ib> May some good, have understood that she hasn't much presence of mind,' said lluldah, quietly. Max gave way, and in a moment more they were tossing upon the waves, while Gre'.a with her pile face aud anxious heart watched (hum from tho ?bore. The boat was a small one con taining but two oars, sod it was very hard ro*wiug. Max iu particular, felt the iubor severely, for of late he had been so confined to his pralice that he had no time for rowing. He gave Up his oar to lluldah after u while in order to rust. And so by rutting iu turn they made very g<*?d progress, and soon rounded the beud where they saw the sail boat. The sail was still sproad, through they Could see that Kred was at work on it. 'Ship ahoy!' shouted Tom Harrison making a trumpet of his hands ; instant ly a hankerchief was waved as a signal of distress. 'The sailboat was pitching frightfully : it seemed as if she would be engulfed before' they could roach lier. The next ft'w momouts seemed like an eternity. It was a fearful struggle. With set teeth Tom Harrison and Max Marshall bent to their oars, while Hul dab iteered. At length the goal was gaiuod. 'Throw over the paiuter!' shouted Tom, hoarsely. Fred obeyed, aud iu a moment Tom was in the suilbout end at work on the sail, which had become tangled iu some way so that Fred could do nothing with it. Tom's strength aud skill, however, soon told, aud the sail came rattling down. The relief was In stantly perceptible, as the motion of the boaf. wan cased considerably, and May, who had beer crouching in tho hott inj half dead from fright and sea sickness, looked up, aud said, 'Oh, lluldab ! you there ? Mow dared you come*! Oil am so glad to see you. I never expected to sec any one again,' snd she burst into a fit of hysterical weeping. 'I think, Dr. Marshall that you can make that liule cove over there. Father and 1 have been iu there several lint's in rough weather,' said Iluldnh. 'It is useless to try to think of getliug back tothegrnvc until the gale subsides,' said Max. 'We cau tow the sailboat. Fred will you take your pluce,' lluldab noticing how white she looked. 'Come iu here with me, Iluldah; then I ahull feel safe.' said May eagerly. Iluldah made no objection for site could not do any more good. b'he had turned her wrist iu grasping the paiuter and it pained her severely, but t he wou'd not mention it at such a time. With a good deal of exertion they reached '.he cove and glided through a passage among the rocks into colnpara lively smooth water. Here they wafted Ibr nearly an hour. The winl gradually subsided tho clouds pnsscd away and the stars peeped out one by one as they I glided out into the bay ngtiu The Wind had changed, as the captain had predicted and they danced merrily over the wives. May olung to Iluldah, how ever, and would hardly loosen her grasp for a moment. All the pic-nickers were gathered upon the beach, a:id greeted them with welcoming cheers Hullali ; was quite a heroine for the rest of the r**- AScr ..v~ t u y t\ .u ?licit ?iv-n rJ?o au I iscrnHght sail Iiotc. ^TtotTi^r^^^ro^P pod to leave Iluldah, Max w :nt up h > nc 1 with her to give sot c directions ro-qiec Hn^ her \vr-t which w H v.>ry lane. (Jus M tyuird acotnpa'itod bsr also) for ihe pleasure of it apparently. 'liravc gal, tb.t ' said Capt. Whooler us they sped on their w iy again. 'A regular heroine,' asserted Clus, en thusiastically. 'She will tnnkc a noble woman I'v no doubt;' said May. ?If it hadn't been for hor wbero would Fred und I be?' shuddered May. 'Oh, Max" whispered Halite with tear j ful eyes, 'iutstead ol b.. ing the La>t she is , one of the greatest among us.' Hut Helle Himer, with upturned rfose ' declared afterward to her mother that I she had a perfectly horrible tiiua aud lor her part was sick of th.3 sound of , Iluldah Lamb's name.' An Inlcrenliii^ Female. A correspondent in Southern, Missouri gives the following delightful picture of society iu that dele -table regiou : Driving along the road we encountered ! a altMidr-r, sallow female, with arm bnre to the shoulders, a.jd aot much clothes on, if wo except the capperas-colored petticoat, who was working a small patch of tobacco. The work was that of pull ing off the shoots which are known as ?suckers,' and crushing the monstrous green worms. I inquired if I could pet a drink of of water. She spat out a mouthful of tobacco juice with a 'cbirt' and said : ?Thar's the spring over yunder aud tbar's a gourd in it ' Having slaked my thirst with a draught of highly modicated fluid, which tasted strongly of old hor*e shoo and hoop irou, 1 sought to strike up a con versation. In passing to the spring I saw u man with a very red and scotched face, and two Jearfully bunged eyes, sneaking off in tho corn. 'Is that your husband there ?' I in quired. ?Htm? Not much, I reckon. My old man's gone down In the bottom to sco if be cau kill a inc?s o' squirrels, or maybe a young turkey. I hat's Arkansas dim, the ornamt, trctlinist, good for uothin est whelp this side o' the Nation. He hangs around and helps my old man aud the bosses, but he ain't worth his salt. Come out o' ther yer durncd ga loot, en* show yerself. Yestidy he car* riud a cow down to Brcsh creek wo sold to Ferris, an* got hoM o' sum whiskey | no gnt drunk as a matter o' course. Then he got into a tito and the other fellow rut her got sway with him I guess. 1 wish he'd a killed the blasted beast.' 'What is* that truck ?' I enquired? iuoncoutly pointing to the tobacco. ' .?'eil, Htranger' she replied, with ? twinkle in her black eyes, 'yon must be awful green not to know that. Whar you been liring all your life 7 Why that's terbacker. We raise a little for our own use. People may say whnt they please but 1 tell you terbacker's a great comlort. I couldu't get along without it. 1 soy, r.trnng?r, have you got plenty o' the twist, but I like navy the bent.' Unfortunately I dou't chew but offered her a scgar. 'A segnr ! Well 1 generally smoke a pipe, but 1 don't mind tryin' yonr sogar just for a change. She wiped the gum of the suckers on her petticoat, and took tho oflered segar while Istruck a match. Altera few puffs she said : 'Well, I ruthor like this. It's one of them what ycr call Ilavouncr ain't it? Mighty nice tasted, but it dou't go to the 6pot like a pipe. I say, stranger, wouldn,t you like to see myoid man 7 Just hitch our horse aud toll the uigger to come in out o' the sun an' I'll blow the horn for him to ooiue up. I mildly auggo.stod th.it I was afraid the 'ole mnu might be jealous?that men with handsome wives were geuerally 3ubjcct to that compl-iint.' 'Jealous! Jehu ! I'd like to see him try that on me. I'd give him sotuethiu' to be jealous for. lie knows t durned well that I'm all right, and that I won't have any airs put on over mo. Et for beio* good lookiu,' I've ecu the time stranger when you might hare said that told no lie. Hut bavin' the sgCr and a raft o' yuug uns au liviu' like this'll take the starch oulcu a gall mighty soon, I tell you. This is a fin? country for cows, but it's h?11 on women. Morn in' st rangor. Sat tune you see a patch - o' tcrbaLk^r, yr.u won't have to ask what , la* BH1 Ar;> on :i Bustle. ? See here, Mark Antony, If I was you t wouldn't tike on so about the fash urn, Til > dou't bother me. Its none ofyour business whot the women put on or off, so they behave themselves and look just as purty ns they can. They are a heap better than you or mc any how, wether they behave or not. I wouldn't give oue woman for several tneu no time, would you! Now site him smile and pst that off foot. If women want to wear buasels let em wear etil. I thought that pauears was the best because they otuck oiit side ways and wascnt id the Way of leanin back when they sat down, but they know which is the host side to stick out on, and its nobody's business but theirs. They may wear anything they waut to, bussuls and hoops and hangovers and convexes and cull.ipies, whim diddles and stickouts and topnots cotno d >wu, and anything else so their is a wjtuan hid away somewhere inside of it all. Its all a sham?that rubber buaaols?there aiut no substance nor backbone iu it. I ve sceu em flat aud seen em blowid up. There ain't a bit of harm in cm, but 1 never sue one on a woman that I dou't want to hit it just h ud enough to make it pop. 1 golly, wouldn't she jump high and holler. Hut I'm not a going to do it; no sir. I've got too much re spect for women. Their bussels don't hurt nobody, and I do despise to see a man always pick in at a woman's close. II they okIo'i wear somothing to disgise' em the men would quit business when they cum about. Purty wotneu always did wear somcthiug to skoer the men away. Its been so forever. During the war 1 seed oue jest dressed ae uaternal as life without any paddin or stuffiu, and when she cum along the boys jest laid down and rolled over aud hollered. Tb.y waren' fit for business for a week Hut 1 couldu't bear to see' em go with their faces all tied op like they do iu Turkey. That would mighty nigh kill me. if I cau look into their blessed couuteuauces 1 can put up with their fore rigging aud hind rigging and toy riggio and all. A good, sweet, purty lace speakos for all the balance of the craft, 1 wouldn't marry nary giri oa earth till I see her fuee and uot then if shb dideut suit me. It the eyes, uoso and mouth are r'. at, uatur is an endor ser for all thebslaoce. Paintaint noth ing?shape is everything They oaut paint a shape nor a glance of the eye You isay paint a house ever so whits but dout signify what's inside of it. But when you see bright roses and posea and blossoms in the front yard mod a vine over door, and clean, clear winder glass shining, you may bet your hat on the balance. You ueedeot worry about the bussels nor the back. Women bare been doing that Way ever since old Solo* man wroteMibout 'em. If they do lean a little as they go, its all right. They can straighten up when its necessary. No spinal disease about that. Tljems Uta very sort what can lift two bushels of meal without crackin a boos. Its only passing fashun?and will last till some thing else comes a long. Nature made cm, that Way, and you Can't change it. The more you abuse their buscels. The more theyT stick em at you?so let ea alone; I say. They are all the cam about fashuus, and th? last one Would put cm on, if they had their own Way and plenty of money. I wish. I was rich enuf to give evefy lady in the land a string of diatnands aud a bat fall of pearls. Uood gracius ; how quick that Methodists discipline would be baetSd on the jewelry business. Well, I do like tberq to look party and so tar aa 1 am concerned, if ribbons and floWera and Bounces and fors will do it, its all righ* Some oi the birds highly dressed up mighty line, and I reckon their pride aiot inueh of a sin after all Bat under stand me, Mark, I don't hanker after bussels, tho they do say it makes Iba nicest little shelf for the arms to rest on iu the world, when a feller is dancing around with his gal. That's all right provided the feller ain't a dancing with e;y gal 1 f he h{ why he may take her and keep her that's all. BILL AilP. Examining a Candidate. _ ? A gentleman from Swimpville waa telling how many different occupationa he had attempted. Among others ho had tried school teaching. 'How long did you teach' acted a be standet .?Waal, I didn't teach long?that isi only went to teach/ 'Did you hire eat. 'Waal, I didn't hire out? I only Waav ted to hire* out.' 'Why did you give it up' Wa'al, I gave U up for some reason or uuther. You see, I traveled inte a I dcestrict and inquired for the trustee*. Somebody said that Mr. Saicklea WM the man I w ab ted to sei. Sd I found Mr Suicides, stated my object introduc ed myself and asked what he though! about leteing mo try my luok with tho big boys and unruly gals in the dcestrict He wanted to know if I really cdnsuTer - ed myself capable; and I toll him X wouldn't mind his asking me a few easy questions in Ritumerie and Jography or show ray hand writing. Ho said, nover miud ho could tell a good teacher by his gait. Let roe sec you walk off a little ways," says he sqd I can tell jis's well's I heard you examined.' He sot In the door as he spoke and I thought he look ed a little skittish. But I was consider able frustrated and I didn't care much; so I turfjVnl about and walked as I know ed how. lie said he,d tell me when to *to*, so I kep' on til I thought I'd gone far eno-gh. Then I speoted something' was to pay and I look 'round. Wa'al the door was shut and Strickles Was gone. One Joe Ware was so deeply ia fare with a young lady whom ho often riai ted that at last he offered her his heart and hand. She replied that ia offers like these her mother cautioned her to beware. "Your mother was right aaid her lover. "V>V Hare by all means; but let it be Mrs. Joe Ware." She her head on his shoulder and tho tract was scaled. - ???r r anas???***"? A party of swindle re from the East have taken advantages of the fact that there is no law in Nebraska against lot* teries to advertise extensively the Omaha lottery in aid of the State Orphan Asy lum. The scheme has no connect to a what ;ver with the Asylum, ia not under oharj. c of State officers and those who buy t ckete in it can aspect to lost their money. To eure a smoky chimney inflate a Urge ox bladder with air aad tie ,it by, the neck to a stick and place it aoroae, the inside about two feet from the ton, The buoyanoe of the air keeps the bled, der in a circular motion and thus pee* tents the down ruch of a^r