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TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM. )? volume 6. ? ? ? / 1 v -TW,:/. H .1? /. ! If.il 1' t V. '. "f ?? . ?i >i ;I ?4.:w7 H ?'i mI/.-I'. -unou T. ft* ?! Ule ?- ?' ,r? saturday mob rl77 : 'on "yfi3?/u Uli?!'JV'?{'? Mill ; ??? ?' ?tili I B. ?i /v/v?, i'viii ??\?K .??d\*nt. flI<.-)i<T'.i^viC ??otal?q x?t mSkOH.23. 1872. 1 AVfrlwWj&HiW?? number'6 > wvn nrtt rrtl<>. .the ORANGEBURG NEWS f?:o:? PUBLISHED AT i'?Tfc A.1STGt-R R UBG 1' Every Saturday Morning. ?V TIIK ^RANGEKURG NEWS COMPANY *" ( **' ?:o:? TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Copy for bne> year. . $2.00 4? i? ? ?? Six Months.~ 1,00 fAjiy one ?ending TEN DOLLARS, fer a Clnfc of New Subscribers, will receive ttn RXTRA COPY for ONE YEAR, free of ?tifge. Any on? sending FIVE DOLLARS, f?r: * Club of Now Subscribers, will receive aaTtXTRA COPY for SIX MONTHS, free of ?>o:? RAT KS OF ADVERTISING. 1 8qu*rc III Insertion. ?1.50 4i 44 2d ?*. 1.00 A Square eonsiats of 10 lines Brevier or ono inch of Advertising space. AJarialstrator'i Notices.$5 00 Ketieee of Dismissal of Guardians, Ad miaiitraior*. Executors, So.~*f' ?? Contract Advertisements inserted upon Ihe ?Ht liberal terms. f MARRIAGE and FUNERAL NOTICES, ?et exceeding one Square, inserted without ?karg?. wfjr Terms Cash in Advance, "?a ?erati_i-??? . ? -; Browning & Browning, ATTORN EYS AT LA W, O It A XG ER II KU 1. H? Sa. CJia Malcolm'I. Baowxixo. t ?? : A. F. Bnowxiso. _T_ AUGUSTUS B. RNOWLTON (Formerly ot me New Tork Bar.) ATTOKNEY.. AND COUNSELLOR AT LA TV, July 8_ ' #_ tf W. T . AV. KILEY TRIAL JUSTICE, Jtettldettcc in Fork of EdUlo, ALL BUSINESS ENTRUSTED will be promptly aad earefally attended to. j?dj? >y DR. T. ?E$WICK LEG ARE, SURGEON DENTIST, ?Graduate Raltintore College Rental Surgery. OFFICE"MARKET-ST. OVER STORE OF V I;,'"/.'J. A. HAMILTON, # METALIG CASES. THlt UNDERSIGNED* HAS ON HAND *l?f the various Sizes of the above Cuses, which'can he furnished immediately ou ap plication. Also manufactures WOOD,. COFFINS as usual, and at the shortest notice. Apply7 to H. RIGGS, mar 6?Gm" Carriage Manufacturer. REEDER & DAVIS) General Commission Merchants, AJaer's Wharj, .CHARLESTON, S. C. Oswill Rekder. Zimheruan Davis. oct 16 Cm TT. F. Baonk?. R. R. Huimji.nb ft. C. llunoiNa. BRODIE & CO. ; COTTON FACTORS ?v* Axn 'COMMISSION MERCHANTS, NORTH ATLANTIC WHARF, CM A UKKTON, S. C. Liberal" Advances made on Consignment. Refer to, Andrew Simonds, Esq., Pren t 1st National Bunk, Charleston, S. C. ^"^frtiri?; t?i_*i -%> WASHINGTON HOUSE f^r- BY Mr*. M. W. Stratton, ,? ,.;,,C0RNBfc ?GKRViAIS & ASSEMBLY STREETS COLl'UlilA, 8. C. Convenient to the Greenville and Charleston Ruilroads aud the Businen? portion of the City. Rate of Transient . - ""Board?Two Dollar* per Day. ?fcgular Board?* received ?t Roa*ooablo Sage* **c 10 tf Advancing Money to Buy a Wife. I - " ..... ;., .,, T~~ . ?'nvo Otice iu Sardinia, at a village high tip in the mountain*, a peddler,.arrived ?bout Christtnna during .very severe wea ther. A farmer,.wliose daughter .was ubuttVto be marViodf kindly^irtN^cdhim to make s?uie stay at his house. The peddler'accented" tltV 'invitation, and^fo uuiiucd eight or ten days, kept u pi is olier as it were, by the hospitality of his host and a perpetual succession , of snoW Storms. He was present at, the wedding, and at the nicrry-tuakiog given by the family in the evening, Where he noticed among the guests a youug man of rather handsome appearance, who at tracted much attention by tho gloomy fierceness of his manner. Toward most persons he preserved a sulle.i silence ; but ho relaxed with the peddler, laughed and talked a great deal ; inquired what route ho meant to take, aud how long it was tobe before he would be among them again. In due time the peddler quitted the farmhouse, and proceeded ou his way Tho couutry just there was very thinly inhabited, the woods frequent und of considerable extcut, aud here aud there were caverns ot various dimensions. Iu one of these the peddler one snowy night lbuud himseit compelled to take refuge. He had the precaution 'to take some food with him; und the cold being pcrciug, ^ie collected a quantity of wood, kindled a fire aud sut dowu to enjoy his supper besido it. He hud not tuken two tuouth fuls before he observed a man cuter the cavern covered with snow, which he shook from him as he advanc ed. There was an immediate recogni tion; it was no other than the farmer's wedding gucstl Ho accosted the ped 1er with u strange construiued civility ? saying he was come to sup uud spend the night with him. ?Ycu are welcome,' said tho French man. withcU* much sell' com maud as he could assume. ' 'Pi rbaps, however,' replied the Sar diu, 'I shall not continue to be so wheu I shall have explained my crraudi'' ?We shall see: cxpla.n yoursell'.' 'Listen then.' 'I listen-?proceed. But allow me first to oiler you u little supper. Here, pray take' u slice of Gcrtnuu suusage and a lit tle of tl is wiuo 1 have luckily brought along with me. Taste it; it is very good.' 'No,' answered the Sardinian, 'I will neither cut nor drink until I find wheth er it will be ucccssury to kill you or not!' 'Kill mc ?' 'Yes, you ; unless you accede to the request 1 Ulli about to make. Listen : I um iu love with n girl whose father will not give her to me unless 1 oan prove myself to be in possession of ono*1iuu dred dollars. Now X wish you to leud me thut sum, which I will faithfully re pay to you, uot at any stated time, ob serve, for I may bo uufortunute ; but I swear to you here on this dngg ,-r that I will repay it sooner or later.' And bo held up the glittoring weapon in the light of the flames, ready to press it to his lips should tho p.ddler accede to his request. The Frenchman naturally felt exceed ingly uncomfortable ; for, from the sav age aspect of his guest, he did not doubt he had reason to dread tho worst. Tho Sardinien coutinucd: 'Should you bo so foolish as to refuse mc, I shull kill you, take all your property, marry, and make use of it. But because I am an honest man, I wish you in that case to tell mc who is your nearest of kin in France, since* it will be my most earnest endeavor to repay him the oioney as soou iib Providence shull Ituvo put it in my power.' Here he paused to observe what effect his words hud produced on the pedlcr, who for some time wus too much terri fied to reply. 'Well,' resumed the guest, 'you are undecided ? It ia just what I oxpectod ; it is very natural. However, I will stay all night with you, that you may have time lor reflection, becuuso I would rather not kill you if I could help it. Still, I have mudo up my mind to be married next week, and 1 would kill fifty peddlers rather tbun postpone tho ceremony. 'Under tucso circumstances,' replied the Frenchman. 'I must leud the monoy, sinco 1 have no choice.' 'You resolve winely; you have no choice One observation moro, how ever, I must make, and thou wo will sit dowu comfortably to supper. ()L' is this; when you next come to our v Jla^e y.au will of course sac uie ijnd my wite, and you will take up your resideucc with us in preference to any other person,"*, You will say nothing, however, of the prosent transaction, neither to per nor to any one eine. (.XflU^will, not see,m, afraid of me, as induced youmecd not be, but will bo merry, and rcckoo confident ly on being repaid tho sum with which you now accmimijybtte pjya,".. A 11 ftw-tfa P^#ikBr0BW*dH: d ??> ?Now, exclaimed the young man, 'giee me your hand; we aro friends ; let. us sit,dowu ?o supper. I Afterwards you can rcokon mo out the iifb?ey ; we will keep up a; good firo, and chat by it all night, und in the morning wc will separ ate, each to pursue" his on way.' In tho morning, as they were about'to bid each uthcr adieu, the Sardinian took out his dagger, and cutting off one of the buttons from his coat, handed it to the Frenchman, saying, 'Take tnct, utid' keep it till I restore you your itioney. Observe it is of stiver, and has been' handed down iu my family for many "generations. I would not part with it for all you possess ; and when I intend to repay you the' hundred dollars, this is the course -I shall pursue : I will say I havo lost my bnttou, and will offer a hundred dollars to any one who shall bring it to nie. You will present your self; you will produce the button, and I, as iu honor bonnd, will give you the, sum agreed on. Do we part friend* V The'peddler, who, notwithstanding his loss, could not be but amused by the strange character and ideas of the Sardi uiau, g*avc his hand, and they parted friends. Next year ho passed the same way again, and sure cuough found his friend married to a very pretty womun, who had already brought hitu a son. He seemed very happy, but coming up to tho Frenchman, lltr said, kNbw 1 have lost a bull.hi; I utu not rich enough to buy uno to replace it ; I may be more lucky next year.' The peddler understood ; and after having becu made very welcome at his house, WOQt his way. A second aud third year he returned, and every time found a young sou or daughter added to the family. At length, pleased with his reception, with the con staut hospitality ah >wn bun, with the plcasuut wife aud cheerful increasing family?he took the Sardinian aside, and prescntjug him his button, said; 'Allow nie to restore you this article of yours which I have found.' 'No, no,' replied his host, 'keep it an other year; by that lime I shall be ablo. to redeem it, and at the same time to spend a very merry evening with you. Come this way uext w inter, aud you shall see.' Tho mouths rolled round; the peddler, as regular as the season, came again; and the Sardinian invited him to supper All the children had beeu sent to bed, and he and his wife ouly remained with their guest. 'Agutha,' said he to her, 'do you know that it is to your lrieud bore that you are iudebtod for a husband*/" IIie wile looked surprised. 'I bog your pardon, dear Agatha/aaid i;c, tuat is not what 1 ought to have said. I mean [ ni indebted to hitu for u wife, as it was he who supplied iuu with a hundred ' dollars, without which'your father would have refuse * you to mo.' 'Oh how heartily 1 thank youl' ex claimed the wife; ?f r hj is a good hus band and a good father ' 'But 1 robbed him,' said the husband. He theu related the whole circumstance, remarking at tho conclusion, 'I intrust my secret to you, Agatha, becauso my honor is as dear to you as my life. Hero friend,'exclaimed he, placing a b ig on the table, 'here arc your hundred dollars so now restore me my button, which you have doubtless kept carefully/ 'Yes, bore it is!' exclaim, d tho French man, taking it from bis purse; 'and now we are even, except that I owe you very much, fcr the constaut hospitality you Pave shown ino' ?Nay,' replied the husband; 'it is to you that I am indebted for tny wife aud children: you have been in soiuo sort u father to us all; and therefore, so long as I have a house over my head, pray consider it yours/ 1'eddWs are Sometime* generous. Taking up tho bag of lot la.(8, aud turn - ing to the wife* the Frenchman said, 'al low mo, madam, to present this to your youngest child as a birthday present. I am in a condition to afford it. I have inado inucli money in your country, and intciiu neit year to marry and retire to Provence. , HE i .a. ,w vn ^L^tii/oMftH?'- * ,Lt Dream of a ttergjftan's Wife. aU.uMt ?' luv! WiiL'-v ??? Art offlicting event t$pk place in the family id" a New York effrgymah, a few s?tnHiers since, which w?|F str?ngt ly and sadly foretold in n dream., The time d|' the annual vacation of fflrllosC wus at hand, und the family, consisting of him aolf, wife, and several etjildrcn, were to proceed to their 'accustomed resort in one of the New Khgiiiid States'. ])r. Hose was considerably broken in health by the severe pastoral'labors of the year, und nrfw looked forward to the period id* relaxation from oaro ana labor witli great' exuberance ofVpirife'l Not s*> his wir?" c <, il m "My dear husband,' she said one morning, 'I feel greatly depressed. All my preparations for tho-' country arc made with a reluctance of spirit which is unaccountable. I have tried to shake off these feelings, but it seems iu vain.' 'I am surprised,' said-the doctor, 'to heir you talk in that wuy. You know what reliance I place in*.your strength of mind on all oecasiouB. Why, my dear, this sounds very much like we .k uess. The doctor emphasized'weakness, for ho was slightly provoke^ to hear the coulession made by his w^ftj. ' I 'Pray te'.l me,' he continued, 'why our going to the country should depress you V 'I cannot answer the question,' re plied the wife calmly. '*L can only teil you that 1 have a sttange and terrible dread ot some itlipending'tftil.' ? 'The providence of (Jod guides and guards us in city or cotifttfy' and it is uot proper that any (.-hristian 'should tear to trust impishly tVit at all times and in all place?.;'Said tho^toergymaii. 'I accept yxmr rebuke, my dear bus hand and pastor,' returned the wife with u gush of tears. 'But my heart is sa:l and desponding indeed.' The doctor now turned !?? his ?wife with many affoctibnfu'o and sympathetic Words, for he saw by her tears that she was really in sorrow. Ina short time she went about her household duties, and the subject was not renewed again du ring the (lay. That night, however, th doctor tvus" amused from his slumb-rs by a pielrclng shriek from his wife. She sprang up in bed, and would have plunged headlong to tho floor if he had seized her. 'Oh, savo him ! save him !' was her agonizing cry. ?Wife ! wife !' cried the doctor; 'what do you mean ? Are you dreaming f* '1 hank Hear' n, it is a dream !' said tiic wife, pro-sing her hand to her brow, Oh, what f ^id sight did I behold '.' 'What was. /?' asked the doctor, in a tone of half Sfveri'y and half kindness. 'I suw our Willie drowning in a pond.' 'Now. wife, I must scold 3 mi,' s.iid the doctor. 'It is very painful to have a dream like this, but till the trouble c.c.:i\s< from your waking thoughts, which, as you told ire to day, uro brooding over some anticipated calamity.' 'I cannot help them, and day and night suffer u misery that I cannot describe: ijet us stay at homo : T.iore is no dan ger from ponds in New York.'' These words were a (seVerc shock to the doefqr; and for an instant he could uot reply. 'What !' he exclaimed: 'do you take counsel of your miserable Hhinan fears and weakness instead of votir religious' principles? Do you think shut you can gain any additional safety for our son By staying in New York ? Why, my d? ar. 1 must say that you are worse than a pa gan !' "I am a timid mother," .said the lady; "und 1 admit that iny fears tiro stronger than the teachings uf my faith. Pardon mc for it. I will pray for strength to the Heaven 1 fear 1 am offending." ?Most grievously/ said the doctor. '\'es my deur, your duty is in prayer for help. Mine will bo to leave town to-morrow, so that in new scenes you may overcome all ihcjci'uolUU i'oaiv..' The ucxt day .he doctor and Iiis wife and family left tawn. The mother ha 1 given herself.' to prayer; but this, (00, was iu vaiu. Alter what had pat.M. d, she could not again declare her feuliu^s to her husband, but they were irhio ih.. less keen mid overwhelming It wa> with the greatest pain that she watched Willie running ubout tho bouse, uud couutiug .the .hours for tho tiuio of departure to arrive. She looked upou hitu tin doomed, aud involuntarily found herself muttering, 'He will not c:unc Bfrck( 'dilvo: 'Jbybus' to day, perhaps to I mtrrroW'will flii'd'h'i'iti'a oo'rpso.' I With these feelings the mother set 'out. If, sho had been going to tho ex ecutiou pf a., member of her family she coul^l not have taken more relucuut arid' hesitating st^ps. Sho kept Willie by 'Her''side us much as possible, ami was in terriblo alarm whenever ho was out of >the; reach of-her protecting and loving ar ns. The' summer retreat cliosau by the doctor was enchanting iu the extreme. A lovely va'ley, with magnificent scenery of adjacent mountains, it was a place where natuvo had made her most fasci uating hnudiwuik. The country was in a high state of cultivation, and v.'cll to do farmers and city geutlemcn had each as a class vied with the other to add to the natural charms. There were streams and ponds, and no danger sectnod to lurk iu them as they lay, mirror - liko. in the summer's sun. But tho mother had not forgotten her dream. She shuddered whenever she saw the silvery streams and glittering ponds^and many times ca'oh day charged her children to avoid going to them. At last the blow came. Uno day the stilluess of tin; scene was broken by loud shouts of men, women aud children. 'A boy is in tho mill-pond 1' 'Help! help!' '1 hose, wliirotup words that were borne on the aii. All was over iu a lew min utes. A little boy had sunk, and rose, and stretched out his little arms for help, and finally hud gone beueath tho wa ters In rise no more in life. A Irantie mother, aud a not lets frantic iathor, ran hither and thither: and now their wild la me ti tat i iris were joiucd.in by all w ho had gathere T mi the brink of the peaceful but treue'icrous waters. Then canifu the tale an . drugVmg of the pond for i he body A few days later the funeral took place from the rectory in New York; and to this day that dwelling has the shadow ol sorrow within it. When the mother lo.ikcl upon the placid f tee of her dusling, she remark.-d, 'Behold the realization of my dream !' The sorrowing father and Christian minister clasped his hands, and on the vllin, and l urnitig his face heavenward, uttered the ejicui. lion. 'Father. Thy will be done.' - iiiwe- ? -. tm ? ? Pauper Lords. The Tcmme Bar for May contains an interesting article on piupor lords, from which we extract the following passages : "Among the Strangest cases of poor lords tire to bo reckoned thoso who have v alunVariiy QUQOUU tered poverty. In the person of the eldest son of th ? fcJarl of Lovclaca? tin! (JbHii'tes's was Byron's daughter Ada i ?wc have one of the most Singular ex amples of a young loi'd snbtilittihg I voluutaiily to poverty and painful toil. While he was Lord Oekham. and lifter ' he had come to grief as a midshiptuun, lie s> rve-l as a common sailor on board an American merchant vessel. Subse micntly li<j t.as a mete day lahmer inj Mr Se.ar T?.....!'\. Aii, . .. ! . ? ... ..... ^ t j ... . ... in that capacity when, in lSbTJ, he Miccee.de I his er.indtii',ther?Byron's widow?-in the barony of Wentwurfh. In ISti'J he died, poor, a biliarer and a peer, but ho Meyer j.-.-uuud the tillo bcl ui.i g to his peerage, lie was said tb have I ft a wfduW 111 humble cii'CUlri stances, hut of g'?oil deputation. In 1 St';:?, however, lus bnl) brother laid claim to the bar my of Wetitworth, ?hieb plain) was aii. '.v^d bj the House of Lords. kvSoincthiiig not very unlike the above incident is connected with the (fioidou family. It is not very cdrtaiii wh'dro thb liarl of -Aberdeen is to be found, or iu \vli#t capaqitj he iu passing himself off. Impecunious Gordons l.a\e not I?. en l ire. There was a Lord ThWmas Cord u ttJui K*?s ^ uaukmpt in 18ti<) Uiultt the ilesienai i( Ii ol a tubflC COftist. The Kail ol Abeidein to whom \\e tu w rcf c 1 i wufc, the bcothcr of tile 11.hi nable James (doiiht), who accidentally shot hm.seit at Cambridge The Kurl was bo.u iu Iti-U, and he sue CO< led his lather ju looi. He is said to have l.ian ol an ndu'iilurous and r iviu.; disposition ; that be Jolt Uugl.tud for Aimiica U, the ivicet.-iti? of a ship, woikii:;- his Way over; and that subse quently?but not till alter many vicis situdes und perils?-lie embarked i t Bos ton under the name of Charles Oswald. The Earl sailed thence eastward in tho Atuoricuu schooucr Hera, of which he was the chief officer. The Ilora iu course of timo reached Houg Kong, but at that time the Earl?or Charles Os wald?was no longer on board. The .story she brought with her was to the effect that, shortly after she was out, the ship was caught iu a gale. It became necessary to take in the mainsail. While engaged in this task the chief mate and a scumau became caught iu the tackle. A heavy lurch oT the vessel hurled the former?Charles Oswald?into the sea. The storm was so fearful, the seu so heavy, that it was impossible to save the unfortunate nobleman, who then and there perished. Such is the story ; but if a inau should turn up in u dozen years, prove that he was Oswald, the mate, rescued by some othor means,? that it had suited his humor to wander about the world ever siucc, but that at last he intended to take to his own again.?he might prove a very unwel come visitor to tho waiters for the in heritance. Ho might, perhaps, cry, "Fortuna xrqnatur!" as ho began the work, and seat himself comfortably at Haddo House, Fraserburgh, Abcrdecu shirc, at the cud of it. "Taking the question generally of hereditary gentlemen turning adventu rers,?vagabondizing ovor the world, courting poverty and peril, getting drowned at sea aud coming up agiin after their death hns long been a matter of congratulation to the next heir, and perhaps of the whole family,?the law ought to prevent their cruel aud imbe cile vagaries. If a nobleman, as a mat ter of caprice, chooses to pass for dead during many year.*, and after quietly al lowing tho natural heir to take pusession of the inheritance, comes once more up on tho stage aud claims to act tho first part again, .it would be wcli if the law could prohibit the new assumption. A small annuity, paid quarterly, is the ut most that should Lu allowed to these humorists . ?'It is quite another thing with men of title whom poverty has driven ubroad in tho world, but whose industry has built up new wealth wherewith to gild the old title, if they choose to assume it. We may instance the case of the Norwich tnronetcy as to this point. Sir William Norwich lost tho Hampton es tate by gambling. His brother and heir, John, became a pensioner of the Mont ague family. This pensioner's son, Sir John Norwich, diel in the parish work house of Kettering, in which town At* son, Sir Samuel Norwich, worked as a common sawyer. Sir Samuel, it issiid, had the look, carriago, an.l something of the address, of a gentlemen. His wid ow earned her living as a laundress, and she is, or was lately, an inmate in the workhouse where Sir John Norwich died. The present Sir Samuel, s >a to the last, does not assume the title, but he is said io be in a flourishing coalition a Ari V How a Harber got Even with Mark Twain. Mark Twain lectured iu Syracuse re cently. ii.i.k. j ?icre uvvciis a uur?or who, ever since tho appearance of Mark Twain's essay on barbers, has vowed t ? make the humorist's imagination a real experience to him. IIjs opportunity came on Wednesday afternoon, ami the incident is thus de scribed : A gentleman present whispered to Jake that the man iu the chair was Mark Twain, and on that hint Jake Vw/nt for him.' Selecting tho dullest razor in the shop, lie sharpened it tip a little, and then seizing Twain by the nose, with :i grip that would bring down a bullock, he commenced to lather him. He soaped him from chin to eyo broWS, and pushed the lather-brush about nn inch up his note, ami tliCQCO into both eats, poor Twain iu the meantime *? noiting and sputtering l.ke a steam en gine blowing off steam. Iii vain ho persiste 1 that he did not want his forehead and eyebrows shaved. 'Keep still, said Jake, I Know my business.' After soaping him until he looked like tin albino, .lake laid on the blado. The lirst htroke brought tears into , 1'waiti's ryes. Tho second brought him to a hitting position with i;n exclama tion : 41 say, that razor ? too dull to shivo mc with.' 'Lay d?wri?'baya Jitk^i^tiffiM down in the chair' drgaln; '"Thaf^rAor will cut a hainH )iit6# toy1?iMte&*tn Twain groaued,;a ad Jaka pdlleH 'sfftCff tho bcurd w i$ off *edt? gbodt pJ?? oiaVof tho ukiii with iv.ir.i 4uWBU* *?*dri*A? After shaving, Jukc yJijJeBcaadrtaT^alrA hi in .off, selecting the,, dirttesfcqfijtf'iu the shop, one that waa, us?d)(n^iwipto off hair-dye, and was as, spotty!laaLtfopn cph'scoat,. ^..-...^Dni.tflaJI Jake soused the wafer intoJus and ndstrils, and then wiped , nTt^ff^., The spectators by this time were uoa blo to control their b ugh tor, and burst out in loud peals, in which Jake heartily joined. Twain saw the joke, but kept rfdfet? When Jake told him his hairwas1 com-' ing out, and rflered to sell hTmV'Bottle *' of hair restorative, 1 price three- 'doThr? per bottic, Twain replied: 5 i f*i> b'xuai ?Well, I rather want my'hair to" fall' '?? out, I have too mach for conifOTt.'1''^',:?t?-, Jake then offered to sell him a bottle of 'Bloom of Youth," tolling him flias?t?tq was badly freckled. ? \ a odt oi ?Am I?' said Mark; 'well, I wtaairH like that. If I was good looking, and fair to gaze upon, the ladies wouI?VaU at fall in love with mc, and tjpat[ ,*9**alftvd make my wife uneasy. As^fc jsw^c?oasW > lows me. to roam about the country with out fear. She knows my ugl^e^g-f?ll,,'} protect mo.' . ,.; ^j^, Jake saw that lie could not r^rsectt^Jtu? Mark any further, and, after brushing him off iu a lusty and vigorous uianner^%Jf1 said: \ , -' ;.Vi; ... o." .-m'viw"!'.* 'Mr. Twain, how did you like jouf^ shave?' ^ 'Oh' said Mark, 'tills is nothing new.. a >4?d . i Every barber in the country goes forme f in the same style. I am used to it, aud^ , in fact, I rather liko it.' 'Call again, said Jake. 'Not if I can help it,' replied Mar*.' 'Good day!' - -' ' -^i?i. T,A: An I.mpatiene JiBNitotar.?*A yonrfg7'" Montana chap got on board a sleeping*! ' ear of the Central PaciGo, and said : ? i T ' See here, Mr. Conductor, I wantoe?H' of 3'our best bunks for this yonngiwead Ii man and ouo for myself individually: no One will do for us when we get to the "as Bluff?hey iMarier !" (Here he gave a playful poke at 'Marler,' to whichf.sbow-?! replied: 'Now, John, quit!') "For*yojitii:? sec, we're going to get .married at A|ajt> in ier's uncle's. We might eJ been maj-,,. ried at Montnny, but we took a habit to. , wait till we got to tho Bluffs,, bejn/tjr, Maricr's uncle is minister, and thejJ0Cj charge a goshfired price for hitchin' folk at Montany." "Marler*' was assigned one of ?hebest ''bunks." Baring the stoppage of the train at a station, the voice of.John was hoard iu plead iug; accents, unconcious that the train had stopped, and that his \ toucs could be heard throughout tho1'' ni t ' Now, Maricr, you mi ght give a fell?r * jest one." ? ? , ?*:- ii v.lT "John, you quit, or I'll git out right.M here and hoof it back to Montany in the r*1 snow storm. ' Only one little kiss, Maricr, and;L*di hope to die if I don't go to sleep right lih ? . I ,? : -i j";I - A .lya.' ?I T 1- _- ? ... I ... 'J. ? "'?' , .: Urul till Just nt this time a gray-headed ol^^ party poked Iiis head out of a berth at the other end oF the room, and cried out: "Maricr. for Heaven's s-ike give him a kiss, and then wo can nil go to sleep." John didn't ask for any more of that delicious little lip business during, the evening1. '*Mnricr,:' it is to be hoped, >!ept peacefully.? Ifarprri Magazine. car: "She died," said Mary, "and: tvas - buried in the ground whero tho trees grow." ''The cold ground'.'" said Kale, shuddering. "Xo, the warm ground," returned Mary, "where tho ugly littlo seeds nie turned into boaut:ful flowers, [ and where good people arc turned- into angels and fly away to heaven." '?I say, boy, is there anything to shoot around here)"' inquired a sportsman of a boy ho met. Well," replied the boy, "nothing just about here; hut our school master is just over tho hills cutting birch rods, you might walk up aud pop h'uu ovor." I .??? Why is a good husband like dough? Doughn't you know? Why, u is because a woman ncods (kneods) him. When you can't think of what yoor wife charged you to bring home; get hair pins. They are always handy in the house.