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.<vg*fl<? ? t!???fYi Jrrwrnvjut! n ii a wan Mu&aBMA?o tiht '<> |f\ j -Ti f i lolfol ?rtfl n-m W. f.f.,.,, ( .??vr,? IKMU? ,TA*? ITA? TWO DOLLARS PKR ANNUM. ttXAJt.f J4 VOLUME 3. GOD AJsp' OTJR COUNTRY. v?n -mi! hi ntHftmusen ? ' < wi * i r^'J'V' ?) ?-ritt" q H, ! SATURDAY MORNING, MABOH 27, 1869. ? TfW9 i IDE ORANGEBURG NEW8? ? - ?CK? rVBL^ffiifp At OJIAN GKBURG, S/0 Kwy Satnrdajr Morning. ?;0:? P^ftU?^RRH AND PROPRIETORS. ^jHljRirs of surscriptiox. ?no Cany tor one xrar. S'J.OO .. :r .. s;x Slonth*. 1.00 lay ono sending TEX DOLLARS. f?r a Clnh of J??w 8u*WriW*. wiU receive an EXTRA COPY for OMR YEAR, free *f charge. Any one sending frtVK DOLLARS, for a Club of New Subscribers, Wilt reesivc an EXTRA COPY for SiX MONTHS, tree of ?'?arge. ?-?:-? RXfRfl ?F 'AT/frftRTlSINO. 1 8q?nrc 1st Insertion. Si.SO ** ? 2d ?? . 1.00 A Square consists of 10 lines Drevicr or one inoh ?ff Adverting space. AemlatoleatorVISMie. f. .;.$0 <H) Csstrftrt AdTertisemepM i?aert?d upon the most liberal terms. ?:o:? MAR RIA? JE and FL'NE HAL NOTICES, not cx cecding one Square, inserted without charge. ?:o:? Terms Cash fu Advance. *?a tab 2|? , o ly The Diamond Cross. jtw^tiw*/. .fi/ji"S .%u.- t'l >. ? 0-. ? A young idrl.ettjod at a jeweller's counter rT?minj^f^f ?ArTrvcCl"ry">s 80 c?t,lJ,,?g* ly arrayed. There were all uiunncr of pre vious stones, rare, and daxrling, and pure pale pearls, and creamy cameos. All wcru beauti ful, and Agnes turned her gase from one to another unable tu decide which was the most desirable, till suddenly n sntull cross set with diamonds and twined with * delicate vine, flashed its starry light in her eyes. "Se*./taiothcr, sec that beautiful, beautiful croM 1" she exclaimed. ' I Would rather haVu that than all the other jewels iu the case." "It is very beautiful," said her mother, ''but diamond? arc far too grand for my Agnes, and far too expensive for her father's means." '^'MriM^iBFrCffi'' p,?c <V*k.cd. ?1'9 clerk, hoping that lief mother had over-estimated it. "Kiyc, midrcd dollar*," was the answer. ; WifH one more look at the coveted treasure, Agoea>tnrned 4-way feeling that it was useless to hofft-to possess it. yet the thought of it Would not ler.vc her and she went liomo' rest-' less and dissatisfied. That evoping, soon after the lumps were lighted, the dour bell rang, and present1;/ the servant brought in a small package, and with it a iiu?A addrcasaU lb Agnes. Breaking the seal, the young gtrl found it to bu from a much-loved uncle, who stated that uneecn by her he'had chanced to enter the jewelry store St the time she was so eagerly ndmiriug tho diamond cross, and to gratify himself, an well aa his niece, he had at once purchased it fur her. The ttoto closed with these words : ''If ever this gitt becomes iiidced a cross, do cot hesitate to dispose of it." Agues could scarcely believe that it was not all a dream, and bar fingers trembled as she loosened tlie wrapping*. "If ever this gift become* indeed a erosa," she repeated as she lilted it from its dainty case ! -What could my uncle mean V and then al the diamonds throw out their slender jets of light, she forgot all else in wandering ndmi ration. For many days the diamond cross was ti source of much delight. Then: was scarcely a lover of gems iu the town who bad not looked at it with longing eyes as it sparkled on its downy cushions in ?b* jeweler's case, and when they learned that Agnes, had become its happy possessor, they thronged about her with warm congratulations. It was not long, how ever, before there reached her, man}' invidious remarks made by tho very friends who had seemed so sincere in their admiration of her uncle's costly gifo. One said that it was en tirely unsuited to her style of lace and dress ; another suggested that she probably knew that -her wealthy reltit'. 0 was within huuriug at the time she expressed her wish l'or the cross; and one eveu hinted that, after till, tho diamonds were nothing but paste. Agnes' sensitive heart was surely wounded, and afraid of ex citing more remarks of a similar nature, she soon ceased to wear tho cross in publio, con tenting herself f ith nduu'ritig it in secret. Otic morning there was quite nn excitement made by the report that burglars were in the nftigbtwr2; .od, and thnt seioral large robberies had beon committed the previous night. On inspection it was found that an attempt bad been made ro break through one of the base ment v indowB of Agnes' home, but the iron bars i-ufinwd to yield. Agnes' first thought was of her treasuro?her oross. What if they bad succeeded in entering, and hud robbed her of that *. And the fear that something of the kind might como to pass, so troubled her mind that she could take no peace or rest when the oross was not with her. Unwilling to be seen wearing it, she fastened a ribbon to the caso vuul iiv'u it :li"r?Ji? v'uv iUy kont it con eculed in her dress, while at night she hid it beneath her pillow. This constant solicit udc soon bad its effecta upon hef dreams. Sho frequently fancied in her sleep that a baud was thrust etwiltuly under her head to steal hfer trensure, and would start up crying, "My cross ! my oroes 1" Agaiu she would dream that her tiny cross had grown to such huge proportions that its weight was crushing her, and she would waken treuibling and exhausted with her frantic ef forts to tear it from her. Thus gradually, sho was learning that the jeweled cross, she had so coveted, was a henry cross to bear, and with this bitter lesson came thoughts of another cross, higher and holier; and she remembered that one hud said: '-Take up thy cross and follow uic." It was a winter of great severity, and in all tho larger cities there was much suffering among tho poor for lack of food and fuel. The daily papers tccuiud with accouuts uf the destitution that prevailed ; and among the many whose hearts were moved with sympathy for the sufferers was Agnes, tho own'r of the diamond cross. All tho moucy she could call bor own *as cheerfully given, but it was only n trifle at tho most aud she sighed to think how little it would accomplish where so much was needed. Suddenly she recalled her an cle's words: "If this gift ever becomes indeed u cross, do not hesitate to dispose- of it." Hud it not becotno in very truth a cross? Yet she bad prised it so denrly?her beautiful treasure ?that she was unwilliug to think of even pawning it, much less of parting with it for ever. Hut the thought of the good she might accomplish clung to her day and night, nud in her heart thero neeined to bo a voice saying : ?'Carry thy cross to him who bore the cross for thee, and thou slialt. have treasure in heaven." The jeweler looked somewhat nuzzled when Agnes stood at bis ctiUUier one winter morn ing und asked htm if he were wiiiH?g--tt?_ take back the diamond cross. Hut diamonds hud rinen in value siuce tho cross was purchased, and be readily paid her the sum that had been named as its price a few months previous; and before the day was*done the diamond crass had curried sunshine uud picntv iut<> many a darkened nnd destitute home. It was soon known that tho cross was again offered for sale, und [numerous were the sur mises at; to the possible mot' s that bad in duced Agnes to part with it, but they were all tar wide of the truth, for the young girl had disposed her charity so quietly that few knew to what use the proceeds of her uncle's gift had been appropriated. With her it Was the opening of a new era. In laying down her cross of diamonds she had taken up that of an earnest, self-sacrificing life, nnd thenceforth she carried in her heart the consciousness of blessing others, and of being -rich toward (Jod."?S. S. Teacher. Plain it a Little More.?A good minis ter bad long preached to a congregation of average culture with little apparent good result. Thinking the matter over one Satur day morning, alt?r be had finished writing his weckiy sermon, the thought occurred to him to go down stairs and read it to his pious, simple-hearted domestic. "Perhaps," ?>aid he. "I shoot too high." Calling her from her work, he rend a few sentences, selected as containing the clearest announcement c" the truth which the sermon was intended to convey, and asked her, "Do you understand that?" ??No, sir," was her reply. lie then extem porized the same idea in simpler language, and asked her again, "Do you understand that?" "A little," was her answer?kindling with an interest which proved the truth of her words, "but please, Sir, plain it a liff/r more." ' Once more he expounded his original thought, in the most lucid manner and with the fewest and shortest words he could think of, when she exclaimed with great delight?"I see it all now, sir, ond I like it very much." He went up stairs, re wrote his discourse, as nearly as possible in the same style which he hud used in his experiment; nnd went to church next morning, almost trembling, lest bis people would be disgusted with bis preaching. To his amazement, the very first sentence seemed to awaken a listening, such as he had never before been able to secure. And, as he went on, he could see one eye after another mois tening, until almost his whole congregation were visible touched as he hud never seen them before, and us the result of that service, more than one came to him to enquire, ? 'A'hut must I do?" The effect upon his own miud wus such that he changed his style ef prcuch ing from that time thoroughly; dccluring thut as for him?lot others do what they may?ho would ?pertk nO no to bo umir.t niuod by all whom it was his duty to address. "Siro, one word," said a soldier one day to Frederick the great, when presenting to him a request for the brevet of lieutenant. - If you say two," answered tho king, "I will hove you hanged." "Sign," replied the soldier. ?itI L I.!_?_l ...? ? .1 i i j Don Platt? Daniel Webster and Washington Hack Drivers.?t was at the capital for the first time, a green, awkard youth, given to unheard of blunders, and lia ble abuse. Sharpers looking at me said : ."He is down?go for it!" A cab drivor did. He drove ino in that fuuny old affair that had one horse in front and.a door behind, and no end of rascality between in the person of the driv er-- he carried mo, I say, from, the depot to the hotel, aud charged fivo dollars. He could as well have charged me a hundred.' He had such a self-satisfied, insolent way that he might havo demanded my watch and pocket-Bible and handkerchief. Ho might have takru nty overcoat uud called for my bouts, aud my first impulse would havo been to yield up and haud over. I was such a downy cove, and he was so insolent. And this reminds me that the first time I saw the great New England cxpouudor of the constitution, Daniel Webster, he was under going the same process of insolent exaction. Cubby had deposited the great embodiment? the two hundred pounds of meat, learning and eloquence?and then ventured to demand his fare. The godlike Daniel either had not the necessary coin, or declined producing it, for he stalked over the pavement to the door followed, by the man, who urged, vociferously, imme diate liquidation. Suddenly Daniel turned on the steps, and bringing to bear his heavy bruw and cavernous 03*08 upon the creature, said, in deep, fearful voice: '?Fallow, do you dare to dun me ?" And the follow sunk iuto bis boots and re treated. But I wan riot Daniel Websfr so much then as I nm now - so I meekly paid the live with out remonstrance, but took upon the tablet's of my memory the number of the robber's cab. Some days after?long enough for the fellow to forget me?I saw him driving along the avenue and I took my revenge. 1 called him to KWUid told him I wished to visit Mount Vet non in time to rak-s^hcevoiiing train, and that if he could do the tr^Ttn"""*}?^ time I would pay him all of ten dollars. 11?^,worked it up to eighteen, tu be paid if accomplished. ????<l >n)il ?in tn j?n?>j? ??? 1 '?'?> -...1 ..? j wo went tit a lively rate of speed. On the first bit of smooth road 1 softly opened the door, hung to the step until I closed it, ami then stepped off. I had the grim satisfaction id seeing cabby disappear in the dim distance, suggesting to my mind the wild tradition of the "Flying Dutchman." A man in New Orleans took out an aucidout insurance policy before starting on a journey, and happened to bo killed by a railroad accident. The widow, armed with the news paper report in which his name was mentioned among tho killed, presented herself at the office of the company, but was informed that more definite proof would be nieessary. ''Why, of course he's dead," said the bereaved lady. ?That is possible," mid the polite official, ??and, my dear madam, I am very sorry for it." "Yc'r sorry, are you, sorry?" "OFcourse* I am; I sincerely sympathize with you in your bereavement." "Yes," exclaimed the excited and bereaved lady; "that's always the way with you men, you arc mighty polite about everything olsc, but when a poor woman gets a chance to make a little money, you're only sorry." And the indignant lady left the room in search of additional proof. A Woman's Fiukndsiiii?.?It*is a won drous advantage to 11 man, in every pursuit or vocation, to secure an adviser in n sensible woman. In woman there is at once a subtle dolicscy of tact, and a plain soundness of judg ment, which are rarely combined to an equal degree in num. A woman, if she be really your friend, will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute. She will sel dom counsel you to do shabby things, for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you. At tho same time her constitutional timidity makes her more cautious than your male fricud. She, therefore, seldom counsels you to an imprudent thiug. A man's best j fenml' 'riend is u wifo of good sense and heart, whom he loves, and who ioves bun. But, supposing the man to be without such help mate, female friendship he must still have, or his intellect will be without a garden, and there will be many an unheeded gap, even in its strongest fence Better and safer, of course, arc such friendships, where disparity of years, or circumstance*!, puts the idea of love out of the question. Middle life uas i-uridy this advantage; youth und old ago have. We may have female friendships with those much older, and those much younger, than ourselves. Fomnle friendship is to a man, the bulwark, sweetness, ornament, of his existence. A newspaper in a rival city thus speaks of a promising western town :?"A Chicago pa per conoludcs an account of a marriage in that city with the declaration that "the purtics were thon united fur lifo.' If thoy were it whs certainly the first thiug of the kind that cvsr occurred there."* Nkw Manner ?f Di?8oLVT?fTxfbK? for Farming PurpobW? Professof- HcrikofT says : Ftappos'e ymi liavn 4,000 pounds of bones," you need d,0i)0 pounde of ashes, (aver agitjg ffen-per oeut< of carbonate of potash,) j GOO pounds mrf;laeked limo, and some 4.500 pounds (fifty-five and a half gallons) of water. Dig a hole some two feet deep, large enough to receive'tho- bones ami one-half their volume beside*; parallel tu Ulis you dig another or.c twenty-five percent, itrgcr both being filled with hontoe. First slack tho lime and mix with >our. ushoi, covering 2,000 pounds of bones id the smaller one. When it. gets dry add continually water enough to keep it wet. Wheu tbc bones crumble in your fingers, tbcu take (B* Whole mass out and spread it over the bones in the second holo leaving tho decompo sition ib go on. When this is done, lot the mass Aar: and to make it.fit for use add peat powder-fir mellow garden soil until it is well, dried >nd powdery. Let it be shoveled over several tinies, and then apply to your fields. 'I lms you got a fertilizer averaging twelve per eont. of phosphate of lime; two per ceut. i of alkaries, and six per Cent, of nitrogen. The pits used in this process must of course bo dug hi soil to a great degree impervious to water.* Clayey soil will answor, if first sprinkled aud thou pouuded, or clay may bo ??puddled" iu a busin in any soil, and a water tight pit bo made. If the bones are tolerably fresh, there will bo very little loss of ammonia. We have known the softening of the bones to be complete on a small scale.?Ayricuituruliti. Tili: Farmer's Shop. ? Every 1 armer should have u shop fitted up with such tools as are used by the carpenter, joiner, machinist and blacksmith,' or with those that would be valuable iu making repairs. Above ull, we consider a good foot lathe very desirable. It woulejwc impossible within the limits of a newajMuer article, to merely notice the advan tage ilK. very good f-jot lathe costs from sixty to ono^iniidrcd dollars, and the money is well expended in the purchase Articles of use _and or\nuncnt made of wtmd. ivory and metal mavStg turned out by tbc foot lathe couven i?nt>riftt'..r ?"sr77r~firp-!iw:;^ ? ?? tine farm. '?The^practice on the lathe is one or the most fascinating pastimes for a stormy day or tin un employed ? Vetting. Apart from its use iu making und repairing, tho foot lathe is a plea sant companion for the business haunted and i brain woury. One who adopts it as a cum ! pnniou of his leisure hours will become nn adept, and the more he uses and becomes ac ttnsluted with his machine the better be will I like it. He will be surprised at the number and Cjlegancc of the little articles of use aud ornament he can produce from the rough ma terial, and at the pleasure that the practice of a mechanical art can afford.?Scientific Ameri can. GbAPtiN?.?Every fanner should Iwirn to j do lii-< own grafting. It is a very car* opera tion when onco understood. A sharp pen knife, and n good Kite saw are indispensable. Splitting the stock so that tho bark shall not I be bruised, ami shaping the scion wedge fashion both ways, preserving also tho bark t uninjured, and placing the rim of the wood of both wood and scion exactly together so that the sap can intermingle?there is no dan ger of failure if properly waxed. We make a shoulder to the graft, and think it adds to the certainty of success, t bough probably weakens it. We prefer alho two eyes of buds to a graft aud would rather have only one than more than two. One year's wood should always be used when it can be obtained, as it is more certain to take and grow more vigor ously . We wish to remind those about preparing grafting wax, that we have found four parts of rosin, one part of beeswax, and one purt of beef tallow, to be the best preparation. Melt them together in u skillet (which is the best) or a tin cup and mix well. It should remain in the vessel and be used as needed. Twenty or thirty scions can bo waxed with one heat ing up. When much grafting is to be done, a little fire for heating the wax should bo de on the spot bet ween two bricks or stones. A Model Criminal.?A perfectly model criminal was tried in Paris recently. Being asked if he had anything to say, ho replied, '?Yes a good deal. In the first place, I object to the judges.(' "To the judges? You mean the. jury." "Nothing of the kind; I mem the judges?all tho judges of France."?"Impos sible!" ?-"It is not impossible, but a fact." "And, sir, on what grounds?" "Because they ! are prejudiced against mo." Judge (severely): "Prisoner, you must not say such thing.*. No judge iu Kraue* is prejudiced against any one" "Weif, I dun't know about that," replied the prisouer, "but yon must kuow as well as I do that they hove already condemned nie five times." Congross and the Legislature of Massachu setts arc said to be the only legislative, bodies that adhere to tbc old custom of engrossing bills on pari-hnirint. Twelve fVct 'jf ?now on a level this winter iil'CriiiadaV tiwrVrlo *r?<pt .??ff The Sioisx Indians call Qaoaral eher man "General, W^k-e^eap/' Strawberries have appoarod in LendoU, and arc sold at three shillings an ounco. Sevcnty-pight prominont Americans have been suggested for MiuJatorJt? Eriglarrf. Kussia has jjoat^i^ajbotf* fortj treaanry officials to Sirrin, for robbing the govcra ment. , . . Boston is in luck. Over 63,000 boxes of oranges have arrived there during the past j WCCk. ? i: A Brooklyn clergymen was robbed on Men dny night of a carpet-bag full of sermons. The heirs of Noah Webster are said to re ceive $25,000 annually from the aale of his dictionary. In order to dispose of polygamy at short j notico, It is proposed to give the right of] suffrage to the women of Utah. . Kentucky has a stern parent who keep*: his daughter chained to a lug, in order to prevent her marrying contrary to his wishes. It is said that the Indians of the plains trill 1 not take scalps from heads of negro soldiers j killed in brittle, Among the bills reported to tho Michigan Legislature is one to prevent tho shooting of | any person ''in sport." Spring openod iu Northern New Hampshire with the thermometer thirty-four dogrees bo low zero. A company at Lexington, 111., consumes forty-nine tons of becta daily in the manufac ture of sugar. Concord) N> II., has had eighty-three days of uninterrupted sleighing up to last Monday. Nearly six feet has fallen this winter. Texas hue agreed to pay $100 and to give forty a urea of land to a company for every im migrant it brings into the State. In Texas the wheat crop promise? well, and hi .some parts of the State corn is rising in ! price and is now worth fifty cents. The Louisiana Legislature has passed a bill authorizing the licensing of gambting-housce, the price of the licensebeing fixed at $5,000. A story cornea, from. Belgium of two soldiers who played a game of cards. One staked his life; lost; and hanged himself iu the morn ing. The New York Telegram wants to know why actors who are engaged for "general utili ty" always embraces the part of Hamlet. A three year old child, temporarily left iu charge of its infant brother in Columbus, Ohio, last Saturday evening, got angry with it and killed it by beating it over the head with the nursing bottle. The New York Times says : "If California is such a spleudid place for making money, why is it that there is such a <sh of office seekers fron? there to Wash.ugtou ? Is it easier to mnUv money in public office thun any where else. There arc 0t>0 American students at the various German universities, and over 1,000 male nnd female American pupils at first class German boarding-schools. The Danville Register tells of a negro well digger who was buried in a well seven hours by its caving in, and covering him to the depth of twenty feet with stones, &c, and Who was not fatally injured. Senator Schurz boldly protested against the appointments for Missouri as proposed by the President, and for his trouble received the consoling reply, "I know the people of Mis souri better than you do." - Petitions, numerously signed by Republi cans, are said to be prepared for presentation to the new Governor of Tennessee, (Mr. Sen tcr), askiug him to withdraw the militia from some of the counties now under martial law. A scientific lecturer at Shcfficd recently told his audience thai when the star fish, which live principally upon young oysters, finds one too large to be swallowed, it turns its stomach inside out, and then envelopes the oyster. Mr. Cat!in, the prairio traveler, communi cates to Trubnor's American and Oriental Literary Record the curious statement that a a great .iver, 'larger tL?u the Mississippi/' llowa under the Uocky .Mountains ! Mi*. Cut lin is about to publish the ovidence which ho has collected in favor of this startling hy pothesis. An officer who had lost his hand by a grape shot, was in company with a yonng lady, who remarked that it was a ernei ball which de prived him of hi* hand. "a noble ball, j madam," said he, "for it bore away the palm." Charles Bannister, coming from a coffee house ono cold and stormy night, said that he never saw such a wiud. "Saw ouch a wind I' replied a friend. "What was it like?"? "Like?" nnsworod Charles, "like to blow my hat off V An (fnprofitable- Crop.-?"Arethren,* saidf an American preacher at a recent meeting, "I fear very much that I must compare- some hete to my crop of wheat and potatoes-; for you have eyes and sec not, ears have you* and iicat not. A lawyer once asked djtf IMAniff Ike following qncsti?? Wft Ih^^ffc***" hundred dollars to keep fW'bW, and Wws*e$~*?*?* what do you dof Do you pray for Meer ? ,\t "No, sir," replied the le?dlor4. , JS?*>?? ??? another ,llfc? bun." - rnr rilniiii emraiienn ties of three prominent l?stttotwne oT OWT ? cjty fcays : "The McdieaT'CbHii? **" rc-.d to Cehukcryf ^y ^M^f^ Oa#a?liM I li on tho road to the Poorhoust; *a4 f)KrJk?wfrk4> 1? school on the road to tho V|^ejke* I Oh, my dear sir/' said, n^poor^ ?S^j??3rn>? 0 L,|# dentist, ?;that Is the ?c?ond wrong, town jfrm M have pulled out ?" "Very Horry, ' ixt^yM?** ot the bluudering operator: "but as 'twere wVrtfr'A ^ only thre? altogether when I commence*^ l*?ae*?. Im* sure to be right next fiajfi flamm 1 ntii imgao rwfT Singabore has a bo* .?oatfmcfcft iha|^W ?f, ya swallowed a young lady, who wore at the (>) ^ a $15,000 diamond necklace The j?p' lady is of no value now, bat the nex-skWel?**? so about thirty thousand r^tfr* <J?!g!iwitt1^^ searching for th? sou**. " . ni ,lrj|rioux *t I New Lexington, has a ^wiaaartar:yrW.hM^svi I said to be A "drugjsiet, ami ^eat^^^H^rV ?ee4t ' keeps a grocery, dry goods, boot aa*i show store; is a silver smith, jeweller, painter, "\j net maker, and when times gel a iilxU" tim}*' ' gets out a patent fbV some inten*?*/'b/Tfoa k***'* ' "It seems to me I hove sewn y?tcr::pfrj/laa^fjp>^-.iiiii | nomy somewhere before," 'said a. .jweal i? IMe<m& stranger whom he met, tho, other day,^ ?aHsul^riar?-?!* cannot imagine where." "Very likely," re' plied the other; "I have been the keeper of a prison for the last twenty y'enrf.**. ^'i*""-** rw? - Maclin and Johnson disputing b#*1lt8fwry*,?'* subject. Johnson <iuote4pGreek^* 6^Mr?fe?avt<r>f ash derstand Greek," said Maeliu. . "A !ne?;?hf stir 1o argues should understand every language, re* plied Johnson. "Very well," said Maclin^ anrJ. a? ?? r Ii r ? 1 ' *? ** gave him. a quotation from the Insb. - A Sou of the Sew/^'Wnafif youV nMnwV** V^i said an oSctrf !? a J?ftfg ^cfegg* \?4f^fh>f^^r^ j joined the ship at the Cajloi ?Alg?s* iBegi* gau*! sir:" "Where were vou born i" "Wasn't Lorn:-*_ at iUr "Wasn't"born nt all?" Xo^l^ Was washed ashore in a storm." ^ Bad Sp9lliug.?An ignorant but quick imP**5*** ted person was taken to task 'by a friend ?ir* pfcjg h ,d sff Himj in a letter he had juatfakaeed 1 V? "Bad spelling, is it ?" said the ftret} look at:? thatf" holding up a stump of * quip to fejax, -.^ ft Miow can a man spell right wi^k ?weh * (l^e^ A rough individual, whose knowledge"oflJ*1"^ classical language was not quite complete, nad' e been sick, and on recovering was toVJ by ki? doctor that be might take a little aniaaai tmm>f>4 eti "No, sir," said he, "I took gruel easy enotagh, ,;lm, but hang me if I ?an go your hay and oafttj^ "That's a stupftl brute of yours, John," said a Scotch minister to his parishioner* wW* drove his merchandise from door to door on a slnall cart drawn by a donkeyV*'*^ Vswtl seen you but the donkey is braying.* 4*?s)fc*q *t? sir," said tho dealer, "je ken *v* WfTi*l!tLJ, TL warnj wlten frens meet.'' . . . ._ ?IW C??W TtWaW The city of Key Westy Florida, is at present p * literally ovor-run witli C*??sn refugees, 'aasP " * every vessel, steamer, yacht of smack arrftU^*^ from Havana is generally crowded with $WnV >v?Ptw A young lady living near Atlanta, Georgia, nwSmH it is said, has four suitors, aged re?p^a^a^|^| thirteen, eighteen; ?h>rty-nT^ and sjj^. Jj|f j^i % is twenty-fowr. _- - 1 ? ' S^rilVT Of KS ?JfB SXttJUINJtS.?A m, laudlordf, 8^/mcwwai noted for blunders took it into his head to have a ball at his tavern. As he intended to do things up brown, ated* Hwe'*,a* everything on the big auger plan, hf ViMkWP***9 that a few "store fixtures" wott)4 tv a greet audition to the bill of fare of pork and toffceyv <I He, tbereferc,- made enq,iMry of hie frintada; r and found that the only doKeaey iwthe T*iijfcit 1 at that season of the year was sardines. Aft* cordingly, ho sent to the nearest city for (rW r dozen boxes sardines. ?weis? ?atts*g?l His chiography, howevor, was so fmaf er Irr' 4 >e make it road, "two dosen boxes of syringes." The night of the party came', and an sapper vmks time drew near, the landlord looked anxiously down the street for the appearance of the's^egv which was to bring the principal (flsVeW Wt bin. 'm v*>****sm At lost it arrived, and with a paeka?jt( mmf-^ et tho expectant landlord. ayQ Directly there was? grott on^VfOB^jl,^ sound of cursing in the b^roptfc .p^^^ The entire party rmrhod out (o sce\#gf wMf tho matter and there stood! Bonifaw.'aw'aawetli^ a turkey-cook, puffing and Mowfog wtA swge, "Bee fcherot I eewt trr PTiWpn fm ??? jji 1 ; en boxes of sardines for supper to-nigh? m&i^u the cussed fools sent twenty-three . togas of them pewter squirt-guns, and say* thnt is elf ^ there was in the market." ,?- -awetr' ? ' A story is told of a wester* lawyw^ ;wkMr^>a lately attended a Toligious meeting, Tihmm IjTJ ?was called upon to offer prayer. Not being experienced in such duty, he rose,and1 attempt I ed the Lord's prayer, and* stMceedod very well until he came to the passage, j day our daily bread," when, from the force'wf' habit, he immediately udded, "witk vantrs/*