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* ' ' , ? v TIE WEEKLY UNION TIMES. Squofcd to ^iiricnltiirr, ;l)orfii;ultiiro, poniwtiq mi_ _ n ~?Z " ^ - ? - - ' - jLLu | j. ne urreat uargain Store | GO H I1KRE YOU AX BUY THE MOST ?FOR TIIE? f LEAST MONEY, ^ ?AND? [ ' Jiftrgniinaij Je^is ^rom llic - Bargains ia Ticking "?'"lOo " fk Bargains in Flannels " UOo < ...f ^ ^ ' Barg^^ ^ f;f '. - Bargains in oyr Ladies' Linen Handkerchiefs ?. c Bargains in llossry at 5 ami 10c. per pair. Rnrffnins In Vnrtl/ Tina - , " - v ? xx* -.xsy jt--- Bargains in Coats, and Clark's Cotton at 5c a jtajto Spool. *. Bargains in Shoes-AWomen's Pegged at ' * and $1 25. y. T Bargains in Ladies' and Gent's Hand-S?w?d ' Shoes?every pair warranted. BAR6AIN8 IN CROCKERY, It is whispered about, art<p?9naratly believed, that^you can \vc will be pleased to show. We guarantee to duplicate any bill bought from surrounding markets. All we ask is an examination of our goods and prices. Copt. It. C. JOHNSON and J. A. FA NT will extend a hearty welcomo. SP?AKS,& COLTON. Oct i 40 tf SPECIAL TRADE InducetnenCs! WIjW rmi -Biuojvn TTTK have on hand and to arrive the most VV complete -hock of general Merchandise we have ever oil'.'red to the trade. Consisting of DoinoslicN, Drews Goods, Mill uls, .f CaMNiiiicroH, BlimkeUi ^ Ulld rilllUIClH, Kid Clloves, Hosiery, White UoodH, HNTw 7ALr"uMBERWEAR " - "ffi^OERIES AND PARDWABE, BOOTS AND SHOES. SP E CIALTIES T .1 ?? v?/-1 /^Lr?v? + 'ei /iiic?trv*v> AT nrlri Qlmno UtlUU o aim wcuu o ^uo-jv/m A?ao?V4V ia*?v/vw (JcuCs DIuihI-TIshIc SIiooh. THK CKLKBKATKD STAR SHIRTS AND COLLARS * Also our No. AO Shirt, '2100 Linen Hosotuund Cufl's, at $12 (K) per dozen. ' x Come nml sec us before purchasing elsewhere ^j as we are determined not to be undersold. lftiftheMt market prices paid for Cot ion trr Neitlomepil oi Ac< OEK A IirUfPIf It U.S. Oct 11 41 tf Seed Oats! Seed Wheaf; r HIGHLY Improved, for sale. Apply ti . Foster Si 1\ ilkins' store, to 0. R. ROHINSOV. Oct. I 40 tf 0 j heads of Families arraighed. ltcvercud Dr. fulmadge has reeepil made a still hunt, iu company with the pc lice and two elders of his Church, "thtoug the New York dance houses, gambling hclli ' and other hauuts of vice," and has mad tho facts which it brought to bis kuowlcdg the basis of several sermons iu tho Brook lrn 1- " ' Ul likes j was in pari devoted to a scathing arrnigunieutof "head of families," from which wo quote th?;foll lowing as "making n fearful exhibit of tin social vices of- tho great cities of th< North:" - ... " " " "f on a niggardly portion to sustain life, have ffiMftbousafrjg .for the diamonds and the \3S3ufcba cqaipogO'of iniquitifS*? i? jfllp mime pf high Heaven T ery 55^ i^i^^'tliis popvpQ iniquitjf.-HHSticb men the buruiug excoriation of society pursue offending woman down off the precipiow while offending man goes kid-gloved iuto respectable circles, invited jtp if be have tponey and mcitan, forwarded into political recognitiop, nnd hty tho doofirot fitgh Fife op??p?g to \m lib goW'headed oane? If you take one ifnclt' I. demand that* you take both back ; if one BUjWt go down, then let both go dowfc. [AppluuseJ-^ I think tho eternal pcrdildon of all other sinners will .be1 heaven oompaTed with the everlastiug pumshmeut of.that mau who, ^Vm^hildro n ^ whose i.los.1 iny^liis own example may determine, goes forth to I seek affeetional alliances clsowhorc?tiro and hail and tempest and darkness and blood and woe and anguish and despair for ever and ever. I tell you there must be reform in this matter or American society will go to pieces. Under the head of ''incompatibility of disposition" nineteenths of I the iiiiijuity of the day is committed. What did you get married, for if your dispositions I are incompatible ? Oh, you say, I rushed into'the marriage relation without thought. Then you ought to^&ubipit to tin nnniwl'' -yuu uu^crvuior limiting a ioui 01 yourscii.? You have no business to have incompatibility of temper. To say the least, you are responsible for at least one-half of the incon>j?:>??'ling to eonTcss mat ymt uiiiivi v\uJv oauitrol your own temper or Lin.!/ you have already broken your vows? Incompatibility of temper is, iu nine hundred and ninetynine cases out of a thousand, a soft phrase to cover op wiekednos already enacted. I toll our cities and I tell the world this morning that the houses of dissipation are supported by the wealthy beads of families.? Would to (xod that by some raid oi the police, lasting for the next 10 years, every morning the frequenters of haunts of iniquity could bo marched out to the police court, iolj^>wcd by about twenty reporters to take TnotrnatnesM nil give them in large capitals n all our newspapers. It is not so much the young men and boys of our citic9 that need to bo looked alter at present as their lathers and mothers. [Sensation among the elderly men.] . Without the support of the heads cf families in one month the most of the haunts of sin in New York, Philadelphia and Huston, would crumble into ruin. What Fiyk Siiekh Wii.h J>o.?Five sheep will enrich one acre of old, wornoul mowing land in three years, so that it will produce one and one-half tons of hay pel i year, by a slight sprinkle of seed each yeai sown in early spriug. Five sheep will pro ^ duco manure in winter to the value of 81 ( Uy giving thetn suitable bedding. Five sheep will get their living through th< . summer on one acre of ground ; the pnstur ing of the same would he 82. Five slice] 1 will raise five lambs, worth 81.">. Fiv< sheep will shear twenty-fire pounds of wool Worth 8l?.? Srfo'tnf. . A 8T0RY.W|3BK3?A^ C y We do not thiak, t do y. upt, tliatjtev. to ^ go around talking abouf* JKtjpr^Y he does. Of puorse we admit -> that this whole businctiS.M^Sfl^fa|pleuse unt for bun, but it hai lUflnHHfcuU for o us, too, and it would be iiwflM|^HB?hfisliuu-liLo iu Mr. t)ut house a^in and give usiflBH Kphiio matter, and to beg s ire wllliug to^ffeg his I- to apOktgwe'to us,for .! has. "As ibr young up his uose at our * tfaue clid not^^k.'^^jfl^Fbr ?ow$ j?teou, : f??s* 'of a 0OMV0rs;itI()naliht^ perhaps we hud bet icr have a little whist or cribbage to entertain him. "You old fool," said uiy wife. "Yuba Dam," said the parrot. Then my wife explained that Scissors did uot care anything at all about mc]IKtttt he was coming to sec Susan Jungs. "\Y hy," said I, "he ain't courting Susan Jane, is he?" and then Susan Jane looked I as blushing and happy as an angel, and the parrot yelled "Oh, Ho, Ila-u-n a: Yuba Dam." So I did not go iuto the parlor that ovenI ing, and as Maria was busy daruiug stock.-. _ I i?gs, "hOars I lute' >l:iria wok? "J. Joshua JcnkiuC^^Pi?4j^??rx . | f?rks," she said. T a?jo"??';uT'/Art be ,^liu' ! that wo'eissors go home m puch a storm. U?pf^ui-cd to uie ha had ' staved all night, but she hushed me up, j anUpstarted for the parlor. She grabbed me by the coat skirt, just as I was about to ' ope i the parlor door, saying, "Well if you ain't the biggest idiot! ' Then she knocked chairs together, and hit her hand again it the door knob once or twice, made a variety of noises, and then told ine 1 could go in. All hor trouble was j needless, for when I went ui Susati sat on one side of the parlor and Scissors on the opposite side, and they were talking about a war in Mexico. Scissors Drunk fully ac ceptcd uiy invitation, and I showed him to ? in tAtn lint li/? iliil n< J K a i? a ft ????ftot ?l'?ol u IVVf?ll| UIIV IIV ? (\l IIUV ?au t V (ft U(IV 'IV III of time to sleep bcforfi breakfast was ready. ***> I brought tlie parrot out of the parlor. ! because I thought it would bo amusing to j boar liiin talk while wo wore eating, and that ilhnuicucd bird squinted at Mr. Scis sors a low moments and then went pff: "Ah a a-a" just as fast as he ceroid jab* I ber. "Scissors, Scissors, Sc r-r-r, 1 Yuba j Dam. Oh, you quit. You're mussifig my | hair all up. Yuba Dam, Scissors, Se r r < )h, I'll scream !'' You never saw any one blush so red as Susan Jane did, and Mr. Scissors was so 1 embarrassed that he put sugar on his boel , steak, and dipped mustard in bis coffee.? I | Maria kicked my shins under tho table until sho abraded tho cuticle in several places, P I i li.. _t. _ * ii ? .i .? .t ?? aiiu 1111:111v sue 10m mo 10 1:1 ko j 11:11 norriuie parrot in tho wood shed. I did not go at - once, because the parrot was saying things I that I had never heard him say before. I , remarked that tho intelligence of parrots was wonderful. 5 ' That bird," said T, "must thibk. He never heard any one talk that Hut > just then Maria kicked 1110 so haro that I c , stopped talking to feel of my leg- and see , 1 whether it was broken in one place or two I r'^cs. , i ? ? .-T V The parrot went right on, "Oh*. Suad ! Darling Susan Jane," and then he made a smacking noise, with his bill. "My Susan, s|te should have .a carriage and n diamond ring, and go to Paris. O>o o o Yuba Dam," and then he smacked his bill as though he were crazy. Susan Jauo began to cry, and Scissors threw n biscuit and knocked the onge off of the chair, where it stood, and yelled, gYou bo duiuucd your own self. 1 never JkibYou did," said Susan, nnd with that she gkuted away, and Mr. Scissors left. ^K^ld Maria that 1 would.sell the parrot KAjtoned, to have more intelligence than - f*r>? "V6?u r WJ4, Hfer. flitokor/V.hYuba Daw" replied the parrot,'aud it pounded as though Maria Aim tnade ibe wbQle remark.. Mr. Tuoker looked very nmch horrified, aua Mnriu tried to ejtphin. '"Why, Mr. Tanker, if you think I could uae Bufib language?"Yuba Deut" , Jelled the tmrroMud Mr. Tunker t^#?Ud t I m* the ?mo 10 tU Wfc ww[ and turned a barrel overrijkid kept Ch? parroe there ^ciivorcad and wtyeruntu f got AJ&ab*? to sell hiru, but neithir M r. Tank or nyr Smssors ca!Ied?nt our., house any wore.? tiaML now brings several couples. '"jSl hotel oierft off guard the other day condescend^ to impart the information that ^nearly onebalf of their guests from now on to the 1st pf. November were nowly fledged married people. Hotel-keepers like to hate them coiue. They are extravagant in theur tastes, and so infernaUy happy that they never presui^i^hd'-'puto bills. Last Suuday in the diu^^nn of a nubliehotel here, I ootmftpd ten liawly-wadded couples. There is an air of, prosperity about these traveling people that Speaks well Ibr the p'rospcrhy of tho conn-.' try. I ajn yet to see tho Undo who is uot otoeked up, with the regulatiou diamond geutcel sturt. 'CTfe women.all. Jook better laud more at case thau tho men, who show I plainly their country training. Nobody but M:\ foal ?? ! cniinlm ? ?- ? ? j V..wvq*VUUI ^uca auuui Oil the highway of life iu a white tie and a shiny black broadcloth suit for traveling.? For weeks these couples have been coming aud going, and you can hardly tell one set from the other. Tlioy jure also molded by the one look .of serene satisfaction that covers alhtheir faces, that their individuality is lost. I heard a grave, cynical old army officer the other day rebuke some frieuds who were laughing at the peculiar actions of some newly nnirr^lffi^^ ' Let "th'cm alone. God knows it will be short enough with them at best.? ('nr. | tigT tVifMii "" m i 'Possum Shipment.?One hundred and ( fifty 'possums, confined in a box car, were received at the Greenville and Columbia ' Railroad depot from Walhallayesterday afternoon. They were consigned to a wellknown colored caterer of Columbia, who ( proposes to put them up, fatten them, and deal theui out to his cu> turners, where they would do the most good' The shipper hits evidently made a mistake in this business venture; he surely forgets the fact that Mr, Chamberlain and his followers arc institutions of the past, and that- ' 'possum meat" will not ho as popular in the future as it used to was. Charleston County bids fair to como out all right; the "Sautcc orator" and his friends have bem retired to private life ; and the 'possum trade, as a natural conscijuence, will be dull in Columbia this fall, There was a "gnashing of teeth," even if there was an absence of "weeping ana wailing," when the, 'possums arrived and were inspected, as though even they seemed to read the writing on the wall. ? Columbia Jirtjisfer.. England has lately lost a prodigy of learning in the person of the Itev. William T.inwood, aged sixty one, whom Or. Kennedy, head master of Shrewsbury School, himself a famous scholar, dubbed the best scholar of his ago in England, and probably one of the best in tjie world. When ho graduated lirst class in classics at Oxford, on being asked what books he brought up for examination, ho replied, ,,Tho whole range of (1 reek and Latin literature," and his prc-cm inencc was so conspieous that the exam iners were reported at the time to have considered whether, departing from tho rule, they ought not to place his name, couspicu i on* anu aione, ai mo neau 01 mc nisi class. Vet this man never got b?-yon?l a curacy? lie did nut take priest's orders?and for thirty-one years his life was passed in rcoIu sion, devoted to preparing works in the classics, and latterly to the study of astrology. . _ .. cvrvr- Jr. - T - ..m. A. ? ^ f?gi--4'X?')?l ? " 111 1 Cause kg ft ?>Mroiic?.?A funny JivArco snlt>v which is affording the hueu wtiicbus of VI art ford *W>?t iAuuseuiout, is chat of Edward Cook agaiust Minerva Cook, now in progress nt the city named. Ono of Cook's complaints is that iu 1871 his wife pro{jelled him out of the piarital coueli with icr littlu feet. On this particular occasion she had told him to "move along," which ho did until he hung on the ragged edge, as it wero. Not satisfied, his spouse mado a further demand for more room, and when he told her that lie could not move without falling out of bed, she bruocd herself up, plunged hor feet into tho small of his back, whole year. She denied kickingItfm out of *, * bed in 1871, and said that she got up ono night and in getting; back to bed oeoiden? tally fell upon his feet, whereupon bo Jfclurcd that abe did it though nuOice, and * .said the woo the embodiment of libit itself, ^ a * . I and that ho wpuld ??#&* alcep wfth>e* x 'I again, and he kept his word. It is plain to^eo .that a decree .should issue iu tbw opae of Cobk rcrsus Cook. daily' papers _ If the ^pressure ^Continues, another screw and *tea aal coffee^suffer; $ JMBBSS then ail the nicest kind of produce. * If the screw stiU tightens, when the worst comed to worst, and there is no help froim Uod'ff man, the whiskey and tolyicco begin to ho cnt off.tf.But the dog's about deal when it comes to that. ** A Watermelon CaseA poQf fellow was before the Inferior Qourt on the phnrge i of atoaliug a_ watermelon out of a brothojr ' colored uaan> patch. The case wdSttWough i Ail.,; the usual formalities of *a t r 1 id Tea that tnoy had Found the prisoner guilty of the cbatge ; als6, tSal cvery mwilber of , the jury had ?t some time been guilty*of the same offense and they uuuuimously recommended the prisoner to the clemency of the Court. Tho members of tho Court consulted a moment, and then confessed that they, too, had been guilty of that offense, and that they had decided to discharge tho prisoner on the payment of costs.?Salt'sJJUAl fie driuk Mrs. B. "No." said Mrs. A. "About two , months ago lie canic^iomg 'i L eJ~ '" fimhe*ToT'nr*, rmd he don't driuk now."? "That accounts lor it," said Mrs. U. "The other night my husband met him in tho street hanging to a lamp-post, and asked him why he didn't go home, mid lie saidlho would as soon as he got sober." When Mrs. A. and Mrs. IS. pass each other iu tho street now, the coldness is as thick as a , ~|uurt of ice creaui. A New York olergyuiau says he "doesn't know him*?if.", He shonM and run for a political office if he wants Iff" v* * be told all about himself and mote UiQ.-? * Tho newspapers and speakers on the other v side would crowd more astonishidplMd , ful things into his pedigree than he ever dreamed of. lie woul?~ bo surprised to learn that he starved his granfather to death and threw his grandmother down an old Well. A lawyer onec asked the late Judge Pickens, of Alabama, to charge tho jury that-. '* * t n is oeucr mut ninety ana nine guilty * .* . men should escape than one innocent man should he punished." "Yes," said the witty .Judge, "1 will give that charge, but in the opinion of the court the ninety and nine guilty men have already escaped in this county." To Cl'ke Houses from Kukbino Their Tails.?Tnko 2 tahlospoonsfull of sulphur, 2 of lard, and one of turpentine, mix well together, then ruh the tail well with it; in two applications the horso will be en tirely cured. I havo used this remedy and can vouch for it being a sure euro.? Yoom Plama^ . ; A young man, hired as a clerk, was told by his employer that all his clerks slept in the house, and that it was closed punctually at 10 o'clock every night. "Oh, don't apologize," said the youth ;"I don't care what time it is closed, if it'a only opened early enough in the morning."