The Pickens sentinel. (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, June 28, 1883, Image 4
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
W'IIAT WE FIND IN T1HE 11111Ot0U
PAPERM TO LAUG1H OVERt.
Not a Melfbish Man-The Sn'ste Cat-Menator
Davis' Itnec, Etc.
A l3ACE.
Senator Davis who is now enjoying his
honeymoon takes the jokes of his friends
in very good humor. "While ho was
diniug one day at Wormley's with some
friends, among whom was Mr. Evarts,
the conversation drifted to athletic sports
and foot races. Mr. Evarts, with a view
to one of his sarcastic jests, turned to
the great trunk alongside of him, from
which he himself may be sulposed to
have been whittled off as a sliver, and
suggested that such sports were entirely
out of his line. 'Well, Evarts', replied
Judge Davis, 'perhaps you think I can't
run ? Now, look here, l'll bet you a case
of wine I can beat you in a hundred
yards if you will let me 'hooso my
ground and will give me five yards start.
I'm heavy, you know, and want solid
footing.' Mr. Evarts w'- satisfied that
lie 'had a dead sure tiing,' and as tle
evening had advanced the dignified con
p;any resolved to unbend itself still fur
ther for the sport. 'Come oi, then',
shouted the Senator, 'follow m1e!' So
away they went, down to a narrow alley
that runs between Twelfth and Thkir
teenth streets. Marching into it for the
distance of five yards, while his arms
touched the brickwork on each side, he
unietly observed: 'Now, Evags, get in
ehind me, and take your time. I im
going to take mine!"'
WHY Hn LEFT .A nm:TAUANT.
'So you lavte left our restaurant.?" said
one maIm to anotler on the Call Board
last week, ''what's the trolble?"
"Oh, I got thoroughly saturated with
disgust."
"'Disgusted, eh? What at?"
"Why you see it is right here. I got
tired of ordering corn beef and cabbage,
anud hearing the waiter sing out, 'ited
rag with a blhlmket !' 'enfl buttons' for
cdltisll balls, 'e"otton batts' for hot rolls,
aid 'brown paper for one' when I order
il ckwleat cakes. All this, together
0 ith 'Odd Fellows' for thr"e links of
1;lS1luge, disgusted mle, ani 1 quit."
THE sAMi: ('AT.
The following story is told of George
1riggs, who lived in Watertown, N. Y.:
When he was about I i y'ars of age, he
coa'eived the idea that his fate r was
not treating him ex:wily in the nulner
lie should, and like a grest m1an1y other
young men, he resolved to leae the pa
Iernal mansion. So he went to Cape
Vincenlt and slijppel oi a sllhooner
Ibound down the river. On reaching
Cl.yton, George was not only hoimesiek,
ht also seasick. The schoo'ier touched
Clayton, and George, with a face longer
than the moral law, was ga'ing WVolfo
.slatndward. Some om-(. tapped him on
the shoulder ; George looked up ; it was
his father. He followed him silently
irom the boat, and reac'held the islan'd
just before sl r ip ; he greeted his
motl-r with a tender -m Ie, nd as he
looked around the house lie saw the big
Maltese cat by the stove. ''hen George
ftund words to speak, anid this was what
he said:
"Wity, mother, you have the same
e':at you hand when I left home.'' (teorge
i.ld been away from boine just thirty
nine hours.
A HOPEfLEss CAm*.
X diner-out, who his hald more than
_hiis share of wine, is carefully fes"liug his
":ay home at iiglt, whien he tufrtn
nately st umbldes against thle cirtenlar ra ii
iiig which surri uds a statut'.
Aler ch laving goiie arounmd it ab out
seven tinmes, the ho01iwlm'ssnessm of his sitti.
at ion flashes upoin him withI vividness,
auid he sink1s down upon01 the pavement
ouitside' w,ith a despJairinig shriek:
''The scoundrels ! Tlyv rhu~t nme
an here I"
HRI WAs NOT SELFIsu.
Of the late 'Joseph Insigi, thie vener'
able tI oston meliait, a good story is
related by thme 1Ilinghiami ,ua to thle
following effect:
Oare linie Smualay' mnit'ning fte I ark
Sea Bi'rd, owined biy thle old Iiin of aIc i
& Goddai'd, was hauling into tIwh doia
.just arrived from a vtyagen to the M1il
iterranean, on w,~hichi 'vyage she had
beateii the famous clipper lbi'e H ors.
Learninag t hat she was sign ald Ii'l -l'tow,
the twvo par'tniers met foi' congrat il atio'
and, attired in their Sun day ''l'thles,
repaiired to the whaif. Every'thiing wva
in apple-pie order, and( thle bright paint
and glittering rigging d'lighted the two
owners, as well as Ite criowtd of bystanad
ers whoii hade gathlered. As she dre'tw
nar i'no 'ugh to the capisillI to litoard, the i
title b e ig low, thle distance to her dolek
was too gre'at, for a jump, and Mr. I:mIsii
wized hohlh tif a baekstayv anid, e'lenchIin;g
it tightly,. slid nimbly to the (leek, bumt
ti his dismay tho rigging had biein
freshily tarr'ied, iandt his haniuds were cii.
Tietely embahneid. Quick as lightning
hie c'on(caledl t his, and when a laddilei
was placed for his paritneri to tdescend, lie
stepped briskly to the foot of it, and
pr'etenidiing to lbe 01n0 of the newly ari
i'ived, gr'aspt'd the hianul of Mr. (ioddlar'd
wiit h "' Good morning, Missuir (loddard!
I miake you iiin'lh joy,'' of 'ourse'5 trian(s'
ferr'ing a hlarge part of the bldai'k pit tio
the delicite white handi wvhi his part
nier had r'eadily e> tenided, biut whijeb.
wasi' indtignianti ith dr~iiuawn when Mr'. 1.
exthlaimed, "' Missur GIoddar'd, I t akes
inotiing from dis bar'k I not share yis
you."
KNowiNo sOMETH'iNo.
An amusing ineident re('enmtly tiook
~ice at a trial ill IiLindon. Thelm pro se'
thle conittale who had mando fte arrest of
theii prisoer el, and asked : "W'~ell, what
did Ite priisoneri Sit', ?'" Constable---Ah!
y ou w~ant to kiiow somiethiing."' [ Laugh
t'r. Mi'. Saundters-" Yes; T want you
to tell me what lie said,'' Conlstalet
''You want to kiitw somn-ethiing." [CGoni
tmued laughter.] The learned consel
appeared dliseonee'rted, e.id appealedi tom
thle Bench whet her thle constabtle oughit
- not to answter the thueist iton. Mr. Fltteli h
er'-" Certainily."' (To the con'stallt:
"'What did the pr-isoiner say ?'" C'oista -
ble-"'You wanit, to know something."'
[Roars of laughter. I Up to this tiine
thle protsecutinmg conuse'l lad only casualI
lyv referred to his brief, but siidl'aiy hi l
eye rested on the constable's evidenice
given befo re thle niagistrlate, whIich weas
to the effect thiat on Itie p risoner' beinog
given inito his chlarge, lie asked hima
what lhe wa-s doing ini thle fowl-hio'ae,
and his reply was: "Y ou want to know~
something," a remark whieb explaimt d
tihe eqjuivocal answers of theo ('onstabi le.
NO FIIRE-EsOAPE 1 oR HIMi.
A "'commercial tr'aveleri,' says ft'
Reno cGaz//c, called( iat the I'ialaco' Hotel
to-day and wanted to sell a pateut tire
escape apparatus. Al White wanted fto
know how the thing worked. '" All
yo'egtto do," s-tid the agent, " is Io
make thme rope fast to the leg of a beCd
Mdead, mn case of tire, an'd sli-d dcvn."
Al gave~ a grust au. said: " That's a neat
racket, ain't it ? Evecry man in the house
would slide out that waiy and the cou
cern would he bankrupt in less than a
week, Go West, my son, anid aII~j
#o0meb047 piioer than we are."
WIT AND WISDOM.
THnaEF is one thing about Munohausen,
says a Philadelphia paper, to his credit. sa
The Baron never tried to be a weather
prophet. o
AN AIIKANHA editOr says thlat the stingi- sl
est ma. in. his town talls through his y
nose to save the wear and tear on his
fal!,, teeth. ft
Ti heading "Another Safe Robbery Ir
on the South Side," !eada the Oil City V
Blizzard to remark that most robberies al
are safe nowadays. ia
T1rs question.is asked us if there is sf
anything that will bring youth to women ?
Yes. indeed. An income of say $20,000 (1
will bring any number of them. lh
AN ALAJAMA judgo has decided that a
m'au1 who putla his satchel on a seat in the
ears reserves that seat- unless the man
who moves it is bigger than he is.
ColursroNDENTs of a daily paper are w
discussing the question, "Can a man
marry on $10 a week." He cannot if the a
girl is aware of the amount of his in. h
eeot '- t<
A s.ta>omo ofticer : " Don't pull me d
avo01i11l so," said the thief to the police- le
ma 1, " i ha''e a felon upon my finger I" fr
"And I have my finger upon a felon," ti
remuarked the policenialn. g
A NiEw HAVEN laty having noticed a h
gentleanin aequaintahsce standing in a
fixed position in a hook and paper store Y
recently, entered the store and asked tl
him if he was stationery. V
T1iI.onAPl[ wires are so numerous on t(
somue of the streets of New York that .
people living on a fourth floor flat can
sift their ashes by merely throwing
them against the net work. h
Wni have just received a sample copy
of a new song, entitled, ''Put your arms
around me, dear." Any lady who desires
to try it can do so by calling at our oflice I
--we mean the song, of course.
A Goon deal of comment has beein ir
caused because a Georgia man broke his ai
nack with .i sneeze ; but how much si
more wonderful it would have been had m
he broken his knees with his back 1 Al
" Wniy do you carry your pockethook N
in your huand ?" asked a Plhiladelphia i
husband of his young wife. " Oh," was y<
the quiet. reply, " it is so light that I am ti
afraid it might junp o of my pocket."w
Tinu recent Congress passed a law to 1
prevent the inportation of adulterated 1
teas. They shoul have put oin a "rider"
to prevent the giving away of an unadul- n
"erated ehromo with a pound of tea.- a
Norr,istcen ll,:ral<l. Sp
S-r. Louis girls who go to the cooking C
Schools won't perlit, their names to be e
known. They are afraid that. when their 01
lovers find it out they will want to marry f
right oi, and t hen they can't have any
more fun.-l'hil<l' /phi<< xc,:.
PI:oi'i.n who live remote from the sea- p
shore can make a good artificia clam by m
rolling a piece of soap in sand and ashes a
.nd eating it when it is about half cool,
This is rather better timn the real clam
but it will give the inlanders an approxl,im
/W- ni
ma:te id'ea of thlelu ry-'o;(,c
i
Fwrm-:N genuine Sioux 1ndians who ge
are seeing (othiam amuse the people at eli
a hotel by eating with their hands and .s,
dressing outlansdislhly. As they wear
silk hats they think they are. ,ivilized. gi
'I'his is a very comnhohi mistake among ti
other plople besides Indias.s-Lowtl sa
Cii:;en. th
" I your boarding house should take ell
tire at night whAt would you do to get st
the .el.1e out ?"' asked the fire nmr-shad s
of ani experiieedl mahitron. " Oh, thIere drt
woul be no troule abiout that,'" was m
he i-elply ; "'I would just ring thle brweak- as
fast~ hell, and af . the bioarder-s would be a
in the dining room ini three miinutes."'
"Wu an' those two meni?"' asked
Decacn Ga(Iilpin otf 'Sqpuire McGill tIe
otheir eveniig. "'Oh, those aire the meni
woceimo to wvork in JToralum's p)lace.
lie has moed to Binighazmp)ton." '' 'To
work ini Joralumi's place; why lie was
the lliz'iest mani in Marat hon !"' "'I know
it, and thait's the reason thiere's two of
them. It takes bothi of them to lie as in
Lazy as he was. "-Alarathon In<lepemd.
An Essay eni Roller Skates. an
os
Thei' roltler skate, says IlIl Nye, is a yL
wrayward1 little <t ia(lruiped. it is as a
trohlesomie ;aid initre ininocent looking ee
hnm a lanmb, hut for initerfriing with Cl
mle's iiy~right at tituode in thle comnmunuity pa
Ii is pierhapis the lest miachinet that hats mn
11pp1eared ini Salt Lalke City. shi
Oine's first. feeling on standing up on a w
ir' of rollecr skates is an unc4 ontrollab le iv
eindeniy to comec from together. One fri
root many start out toward Idaho wvhile en
lih ' oher as prompt ly strikes out for at
AX rizoiia. Thle legs do not stand by each M
ither as legs related by' bod should do, mi
but. eachl shows a d1ispositioni to set up~ ini h
buiinests alon e, anid leave you to take y
'are of you rself as best youi may. Thle mi
iwkwardniess oif this arrangemnent is iap- yf
piarenlt. While I hey are sett ing up ini- hi
ipendenil, thiert . noting for you to $
doi but to sit down and await future he
develiomen,ts. Aidl you haIve to sit ii
downo, toto, withoui t 1h'avinlg made anuy ti1
l'eviills tifpaiatin for it, and1( willii;it a
Ii ivinig dlevo ted as m uch thought ti it asm
you miighit have done had vou beeni eon-it
suIted ini the nat ter.
lOe of thle no st notiable t hinigs is
a skatmiii rink is the strong aittratctionia
bhe en thle inuian body and the floor
ofi the rink. If the hun'n body- hil
1hcuee ioming thIirough space'( for dd (1t 5 '
dlays, at thle rilt' of a mnillioni miles as
seeond, withouitt stoppinig at eatinig e
staionis, andi( noit excepting Sndavs,
whlen it strikes the floor, we coul un.
dlerstand, whly it struck thle floor wuithi so
nuii ch i vilic'e. As it is, ho wever, thle
thing is iniexplieale.
Th'lere are differenuit kinds of falls ini
vi guit at the gink. Tihiere are thle reari)
falls, and front falls, fihe Cardinal WVolseoy th
fill, the fall oie a(cross the other, three
in a pile, and1( (o tin. Th'lere are somec oIfT
tIe talls that I woiild like to be excuised
Iir'-m deacrib iing. Te rear fall1 is thle
flviorite'. It is more freqeitnly iiutlizedi
than aiiny or. 'Thleie are I we poisition"
in :kaitiung, thle pieip'ndiculiar indl tile
hiw s intail. Advoanced skit rs prefer thle
perpen1U lailr, while others affect t hem
SkaIi s arte no resplectorst of pewms. l
Thy ill lay out a mainistecr of th
Gmelo the Mayr of thea city as
rei-ly as theiy uimll a short-oted, one-r
5iuspiende1r boy, or a giddy girl.u
When one o,f ai man's feet starts for
Net ada and the other for Col,oado, tht
does no(t vrparate him from t lie floor or
b'reik lip hix fun. Other por1 tins of hii .
ho'ld will taik the la:e hi.s feet have
julst vacated, withl ai priomlptn<ss that.i is
u<rprising. And lhe will thail thant the
fun hafs just begun-for the people look
ing on.tI
'The. equipments for the r-ink are a pa i
of i-katest, a cushion, and a bottle c ii
linhmnt.
ho
B$AXE Bu~Ns.-"Let your beans sim- s
mier in wrmVfwater slowly, with moljises gi
ne:d mustard ; then put in the pork and di
hauko a long time. A small green onion hei
ndds a delicious flovar" This is the bi
iataat recine for Boston~ "hakc4 bon. yl.
's9 Wicked Little QrL
"Ma's upatairs changing her dress,"
kid the freckle-faced little girl, tying
fr doll'a bonnet-strings and casting her
ye ab'out for a tidy large enough to
rve As a shawl for that double-jointed
onng person.
"Oh, your mother needn't dress up
r me," replied the female agent of the
,issionary society, taking a Pelf-satisflod
ow of herself in the mirror. "Run up
id tell-her to come down just as she is
i her every-day clothes, and not to
amd on veremony."
"Oh, but she hasn't got on her every
Ry clothes. Ma was all dressed up in
er new brown silk 'cause she expected
[isa Dimmond to-day. Miss Dimmond
ways comes over hero to show off her
ice things, and ma don't mean to get
It. When ma saw you coming, she
ad, 'The Dickens !' and I guess she
as mad about something. Ma said if
3u saw her new dress she'd have to hear
1 about the poor heathen, who don't
we silk, and you'd ask her for money
> buy hymn books to send 'em. Say,
D the nigger ladies use hymn-book
aves to do their hair up on ud make it
,zy ? Ma says she guesses that's all
to good the books do 'em, if they ever
3t any books. 'I wish my doll was a
eathen."
"Why, you wicked little girl ; what do
:n want of a heathen doll?" inquired
te missionary lady, taking a mental in
mntory of the new things in the parlor
> get material for a homily on worldly
dtravagance.
"So folks would send her lots of nice
uings to wear, and feel sorry to have
['r going about naked. Then she'd
ive hair to friz ; and I want a doll with
uly hair and eyes that roll up like
eacon Sliderback's when he says amen.
ain't a wicked girl, either, 'cause Uncle
iek--you know Uncle Dick, he's been
it Vest, and swears awful and smokes
the house-he says I'm a holy terror
1d he hopes I'll b,e an angel pretty
>on. Ma'll be down in a minute, so you
edn't take your cloak off. She said
ie'd box my ears if I asked you to.
a's puttimg on that old (ress e had
st year, 'cause she said she didn't want
u to think she was able to give iuch
its time, and she needed a new muff
orse than the Queen of the Cannon
all Islanls ncedel religion. Uncle
ick says you oughter go to the islands,
11se you'd be sife there, and the
itifs'd be sorry they was stich sinners
iybody would send you to 'em. He
ys lie never seen a heathen hungry
tough to eat you, 'less 'twas a bhind
ie, an' you'd set a blind pagan's teeth
i edge so he'd never hanker after any
ore missionary. Uncle Dick's awful
.nny, and makes pa and ma (lie laugh
g sometimes."
"Your Uncle Richard is a sad, de
'aved wretch, and ought to have re
ained out West, where his style is
>preciated. He sets a horrid exanple
r little girls like you."
"Oh, I think he's nice. Hie showed
e how to slide down the' bannisters and
's teaching me to whistle, when ma
n't rou.di. That's a pretty (lonk you've
)t, ain't it ? Do you buy all your good
)t lies with missionary money? Ma
ys you0i (14."
Just then the little freckled-faced
rl's ma came into the parlor and kissed
e tissin:iry lady on the cheek and
id she wa.s delighted to see her, and
ey proceeded to have a real sociable
at. The little girl's ma can't under
rand why a person who professes to be
chmxitabile as the missionary agent
>es should go right over to Miss 1 )imi
and's and say~ such ill-natured things
she did, and she thinks thle inissi 'iuary
a doub,le-faced gossip.
ORIANGE COUNTY MILK.
sw It Was FIrst Monut o thme Newv York
Market.
In a recent conversation with a re
rter, Thomas J1. Taylor, an old milk
oducer, of Florida, N. Y., gav'e a short
story of the growth and method of the
ilk traffle in Orange County. Hie
" The first milk shipped fr' m Orange
mniuty to New York was in A pril, 1842,
d1 was p)rodued( on the farm then
neid by Plo Gregory. William TL.
mugridge worked Mruu. Gregory's farm,
d1 sold to Mr. Gregory the milk at two
nits a quart, dleliver'ed on the ears at
i(ester'. It went to New York by the t
ssenger train in the morning, toI'iir
nt, and thence by boat. T1he Iirst
ipments were made in churns, whieb
thi their contents were weighied, and
enty cents a hunpdred was echarged for
'ighit an] two shillings six pence for
rtage from thme 1boat to the milk depoti
No. 80 Thompson street, New Yor'k.
r. G1re'gory employed1 a man to sell his
1k, paying him $10 a month anid
io'd, and1( sold( his milk at four cents
i' quail. Mr. L~angr-idge in one year
a halIf made an assignment, whlile
.Gregory, at two cents a qulart, p)aid
freight, eartauge, rent (which was
D peri year ior a basement room) and
1p, and establishued a business which
s slice grown to enormous propor
.ns. It was sooni found thant two cenits
luart was a losing biusiness, and for
miy years it wvas sold by the farmers at
o cents a quart for four monuthus, three
its a quart four months and four cents
luarlt four months. T1hiese were the
bildished prices until 1861, during
ui"h time but ter' sold in the early
ring and fall of' the year from one
illig and saipence {()'two ahlings a
>iuid, and1( dauiries to" season at 16 to 20
nis. When the war broke out prices
n wihl, farmers r'eceiviing as high as
tor ('ents in summr, six cenits in
in g andu fall, anid 'ighut cnt finii win
r ut ter was worth from 50 cents to
'enits at thle farmer's do?u'. After the
.n', and up to 1871, farmers sold their
ilk to the dlealer's at the mrket price
P dealers made the price at, its honest
liii, and flue farumers were satistied1
November, 1871, milk hiad been sell
g din g the whole monthi at six cents
il freighit on thle phuu iiiir at Jerisev
ty. N. D). Wood,hull called a mieej
g of the milk-dealers together ini Ifes.
r streect, New~ Yoruk, ''n Ithe 811h of('
r'vember'c, an md piroposedci t he pl'an of
iking the price tive cents, saying thait
one farmoerould or wouild conterdt the
ice, fHe carried his point, and ever
ice the prie has been made by the
me combination, led by Mr. Wou'dh nll
itil he died."
A New Wecapenm.
nA yg man by the name of Murphiy
nn t h ast End of Lonidon went
>me the other niight, and iintead of find
g a warmi welciomie and a hot suipper
t ouind his mother lying stone (lead on
e floor with her head firmly tixed in a
1 sa&uicpani. She was in ligl4r wh"nu
r son left her, and the medical evi
mtee went to show that she had pitched
rwa'rd upon the floor and dIriveni her
ad in Ihe satucepain so securely that
o e.ould not extricate i*, and had cij
icently dhied of nu ia'm. Sincea the
.wn.of eationi the King of Ten;orr
s wielded an in finite variety of we apous,
it pobably never before ponfronted b I~
aiwith~ aionaan -
STAlTIG OUT IN LIFE.
4 UDESNlrTIUN OFt TIH E WiRONG RIN D
OF "1Y.
A PIcture Of One wle Cemence. Life In
the Wrenn Way.
Speaking about boys. Did you ever
notee how some boys make an effort to
4et along in the world? When a young
nan starts out in life lie commences by
ooking for a position in which he may
3arn his daily bread and find clothes to
cover his nakedness. If he is one of
these reckless, vagabond sort of boys
whose thoughts don't run a rod into the
Future, or hardly keep pace with the
things going on around him, or has
rown up about as does a lonely and iso
ated weed in the garden that obtains its
strength from a rich spot in the ground
t,nd draws nourishnent from the better
red plants and vegetables that from their
value receivu care and attention, it is
late to say that lie is one who never
rhinks of nhat the next day, month or
year may bring forth, and though near
ing the age of manhood lie is about as
sapable of filling the position of a man
ts a mulloy calf. Still, lie makes a pre
tense at caring for himself and claims to
he doing all in his power to get along in
the world. Such a boy starts out to oh
bain a sitietion. He Ia reckless abotI
his personal appearance. His hair is un
^.onbed, face and hands tinwasliedl. Im d
lie general appearance of a tramp inl his
1xterior recommendation. If he npplit s
for a position, the ian who happens to
need a yoin. man sizes him up and con.
ludes that ho had rather employ a Dig.
tr Indian, if he has got to reform nul
make clean the person whom he hires.
And agnin, he will wander around fo
lays and wee"ks, hanging around places
where they have no more use for a boy
than a dof has for two tails. He spenid
)ne d:y loating about the depot., expeet
ing some one will conic around and oflf
him a fine situation at four dollrs 1pi
lay and board. Ito will stand around
11:1 talk wi th the baggage-man at the
lepot, or help the luneh-cottnter clerk t'
'mr y in coal for his dhiei, andI1Il inte
tfte, noon he loafs at'ottnd some more and
werapeb the ae<lpaintance of the br,ke
ain in Ihe yar<l and -helps him cou'.
'ars aid unload freight, while the brakc
unat fills him full of talfy about hiow
'asy it is to get a soft thing working fi
1i radroad company. The next day he
tpends at the police-court listening to
ho cases tried, loafs an hour or two at
ho post-oflice, awhile inl a billiard 1111,
ld wiilad up with a visit to a saloon.
Il1 the lime he is fairly aching to hav1
ome one give him a position and he
ntses the country where a young man
"In find nothing to do. Wh'en you se,
lint kind of a ioung man you 'can set it
'ight down that he don't. am(uint to :a
-ow of pins. Men don't hire boys from
iuner the caves of a saloon, aiid u"he
hey are looking for a young man to (,
job of work they do not go throngl
lie crowd loafing around the depot will
I sie h warrant, and pick out the dirt i
younig tramp among the i1nmb1er.
No one ever heard of a man1 who
Vaited1 to hire a young, 1bi'ght, ictive.
t rin g boy, with fire in his eye, energy
mud viegar in his constitution, lookin
ver t le loafers at the p)olive station fiir
neh a boy. At such places all the hoys
con wotuld find would only have oner
'nongh to masticate a chew of tobdac"o
>t hold down a dry goods box on a stre, I
urnr all day, and awenr through Ai.
-en inig about the cursed coiiuntryv whier,
lhere was nothing for a hiv ' to dlo.
.Vheni a bir'mer comles inito tow'n lookinii
ora bioy to 1help1 at thne sptrinig work, ait
i!ii dlollairs per11011i m nt ihn hiai-J, hie
lon'I look through the cioiirir.- tf fte
iosiollico and( pick ont the aloncihiest
indnug loafer in the crowd, or hunt up
hilliaird hall, and hire the hov who 011m
p wket" the most halls at pio I, or* driink
he' molst hecer.
Til.'ough a b)oy may wvear a iiiggitd coat,
r his paiits may lie ont ut the elhonis
n c'anise he has no one to m10nd, them,
is ino reLason whry hei shoihloti 1ui li a
iumnp, and tiake thle lighe ast trb-ek. Mani y
boy with holes in; his hboots and his
oat torn, lbut whose face anud hands
re're clean, his eyes bright, aiid his sys
em full of energy, hias carried oIf the
iersiimmonsq wthen others mid better
iressed boys have stood aromail with
hieir hands in thlei r pockhets, cenrsinig
heir luck. But thle hov 's caiiiniuike up
heir minds that ,while a lousiiiess m;mu
ees thornmo loig aronid depots, po11it'e
ourts, the postoflice, or street cornier,
A ShAux.--A fashionably dressed and
1iimonlded woman was founid wander
ng through the streets of New York'I
trunk. She had a pug dog in her arms
mal $150 in a satchel.
Long Ago.
As long ago as l858, D)r. Worthiing
on's famnou Cholera anid D)iairirhoea
dedicine, was known as a Ppecitle (or
Tholera, Cramps, Diarrhuoea, l)ysentery.
rmmer ermplaints alnd the like. It
an lie cem riced in the plocket. Price 25
nd 50 cents a bot tie.
IN Tnlovun.--A Colnumbus youngiuinou
rent to the office of a Sunday pa per thiere
a get a misstaitemient corrected thI al ate
.ay, wits carried away on a stretceir, and
eivedC, only to lbe arrestd oi -r charg
f assault with intent to kill, for it seenis
hiat in t he course of the proceedings lie
lourished a pistoh.
lPURR codliver oil, fronm selec'ed livers on
he sea shore bty Caiwell, finzaird & Co.,N
!ork, Absolute ly pure and sweet. Pa.
lents who have once taken it prefer it to
di others. .Phyu-icians deelare it superior
.o all othier oils.
" Yns," said the landlord, point ing tc
uis bldock of new ho uses, "'they're ahll
iil1, 're1at t one at the en d; thait's list,
oimt leased."
CHA PPei hands face pimpl1jes and rough
n urt d b)y using .linipeor 'tir Sonpij noiiie
y Caswell, Haszard & Cio., .Ne.v York.
Tua rule of three: For the thirid pir
son to cleamr otut.
Ladles & children's beots. & ahees ean't run
iver if Lyon's Pat. Heel stlfleerr are used
MtAuenerii.r irra twanlts to -'ll the Hoi..
-me Tl'unnuel. If n-tmith,,,y "ill hiiyi it,
halilst: andh hi3' h imm I' is se-tiou of
lie ountr u, u-mn:<I hue T', tone t -\riid
res-tmienct.
Luite ii, 'dach. i, all Yin'I-.. " r-rr,l-'in, Nor
r ou.nie-Ssand I y pu-r-w. :0 onut:-.
TKE petrified body of a man, with
rioth hands on his stomach, has just
bjeenl found ini the inis of Pompeii.
I'hie deeased wa: probably one the
Pompeii Board of Aldermen after a biauj
wuet.
Poison.-The silver ore (if the Nevaida
n.ia:e is so ir.tim'adt&h j.ainted with
ater with wrist drop, palsy, or hl
>aralvain. -
(teciolneidod to Ir ivelors. Aids digestion,
lrovents naue eat and Itendacito. Druggsts.
Ti;y are now experi-nenit--g with
ler UIK i sutbstitute for steel rails. Wliy
nOt ? Rails are stationary.
OT'llMtw.A. iow --Dr JN. Armstrong
*'R: I ha sett Brown's Tr:a eitti'ri i
"y fa.tily antl recollnen(I its u<e to othlers."
THE CONTRAcT for the Yorktown Monu.
ment has been given to the Hallowell
Granito Company of Maine. The mout.
ment will be 97 feet 2 inches high, an<l
Crowned by an1 allegorical flgnare 13 feet i
high.
Thunsannda hUpn Tlhetn nets.
TIhet I>roliioors of theo w3orI-r,'nmvnied
Ci1( ioro'ine - the a'ural hait' Ilostorer-nevoi
put 1111 I s tit 't I.00 ,allonis at. a time. '1h
2i%' but at itl:t of it- ilnunenxe dmni1ttt.
oItssIoE.-Meltol is made of a
new kind of horseshoe, composed of
three Ihicknesses of cowhide compressed
into a steel moul and sthject:'d to a
chemical preparation. It is said to last
longer than the common shoe, weighs
only one-fourth as much, requires no
caIlks and is very elastio.
Hnld lie ,s.
whetot yt lite tried everyltiti:," olso awlti
faihtt, try ollr ('arhalino natl be( h;appy; it
Ill pritne its mnerits. OWl-do'la1ra bouttI. atid
a >ll by nll drisir. its.
"Yrs," said the ludlord, pointing to
iiis block of new hoitses, "they're all
full,'eelpt the one at the end; that.'s list,
I)iit not" leased]."
Jl":rrI:RnSo., rrvY, Mo. -r. J. C. Ri4l11 r
savs: 'Perauns who isr Iirot n's I ron B t
'ers lw,v' speak -rell of it. It is a god
BEING asked the sioie of her nativo
place, she replied: "I have none; ]
am the daughter of a Methodist min
ister. "-- 'he T1) raecler.
For tretuliousness, wakefitlen', lizziness
ant lack or enerey, a mnost valuable remedy
is Ilrowcn's Iron Bitters.
"4.I111I '4r3' C(ttJ'trered weilh little ai/t
,(<rs. Th!I ltre (lisappear"ed, ad1(1 'm)( le-i.
r, lhotn %or -.>1 year",.tx (ro) (Sin)/Dr". 13n,so1,'s
in f 'rr."-.\. M. Noble, Selina, N. C.
TiI tratpil> is not, as a general thing,
vealthy, lrit he (-:il afn1Il to speniis
stillii nt' i ,tll n i 13ni3 rv.
A 1lrugist's ntory.
.M r. le.aac M. CI a, miatn, 1)ru;gglA, Nea berg, N.
'I., wtit a Its: "I h.tve for th,+ last ten years sold
evert l gross of Dr. Wit. b+alt a Bal'iu for the
un,as I Van :"'y of it what I cannot eay of any
.tlhen mtd e.n i I have rC(1ummended it In a great
It' t"y c tet s of d hi oeing ('ou;h with the happi at
i' ra I i Lse seed it in ruy own la-nily lot
ma.ay yc at_.
lenry's ('alolic 8a1ve
Is the Bert ralve for Cuts and firuuea, Sorte, Ul
ceta, Salt Eh, um, Tottrr, Chapped Handa, Chiil
Ilaln. Corns, an I all kinds of Skin Erupttone,
Fra kfa) an I i t aples. (net Henry's Carbolic
r alvo, as all o;hera ,r: counterfeite. rice 25 etr.
A WASIiINGTON oIRR1 Cntl blush till her
.ose bleeds.
\iit. E1DMUND YATES s:1y: Ilit the age
we live in is one of criticisi rather tha:t
of r.iStru(ctiontt.
DRWORTHINITON'S
iji'E o ' arih d IYpc1
THE GREAT
HOLEA RM
AND
IARRHOEA URE
USED
OVr.R26 YEARS.
The best imiiv fr i holern ('ran,pa. lIarrh'n-n,
ih ..wnter. 'InnIiter ('inuin t3, liyopepsln, and erher
.: lriinsiifthe irn ihe ti,i-/. Iniitoiduiedt it rnmy.
'4'. 3>y -ir.re- - .r. I -i-t . S. A. ieconain.lhdert by <Oe'i.
t .4 'n. I',rn-.wr.i l; 11r . li1. K ienet 13avner. SilLeiter
c' r:ss.,. .11i--n t. t i'.i e. .3-> t3 odky nIruggists
* - THE CHARLES A. VD0ELER COMNPANY,
IIJoitetter's Stem.
?iIN~E EEhD' h Bit ters miiee tihe
jIW~fl~j eqirentents of the
CELEBRATED ~mat onal medical phi
losophsy whtleh a?.
present prevaslla. It
is a perfectly pure
veget able retnedy,
embrinr4-3g the three
- .. upop(rtanit propertli
- - : of a prevrentive, ?
- -tonIc and an aitera
- tive. ft forifica the
u- -hbdy agalr-st dlsene,
vitfze hetopidc
stomach soil 1ivr.{
andl effects a salutary
change in the eniiire
TOMACH ystemi.
I For sale by all
Drggss n Deal
AN3M '' wll'-Kl i'\' lfAl.l'I 111331)
(JPII In Three Wepks
Fo 1 r lihinniplet. '.Plroo(f13 nnd3 termi-,
W. .. - aL Y.IV,-s n M . ., 3noA -inet:r,
ATIl.A NTA, hiA.
2TNWoN8AtE fio * TO'N, $50,1
COTOBEAM&~F RAME,S45.
a 'The 1 " I. Oil e tcivo,"t oz. to 25 lb. i-.
30 tiTilEit HiZEsl. Rtedued iRiCH LisT FRBEi.
F'ORGES, TOOLS, &c.
IET F10E 116DE FIR I.10ilT 11ol3, * io
4lb. Aun v Ii and Kit of Tools, Sio
'arme rena,e time and money doing odd jobs.
Blwr- nv-il-. Vice'-I &' Other Artlicles
AT Li E1ST lItit'S, IIILt.SALE & IISTAiL.
ONES
fro. l-evers. Slee i3.arlin as A REREM
.sME, U5 P*AWN ThIE~ 5.e Ie(UlT
134ie i trial. warrantieiaa yeae. A4L.ie als ts w. -
JONM3 OF BINGHAMTON,
111tillANToN. , 5 .
CURES E ALLELSE FAILS.
ButCouh srup Tatesgood.
Uen nt.Sold by druiggtsta.
A OE.NTS WANT ED E!al2 :
I naiInei,l tivr invo.mi W Ailli ,tnpimfit km3
1tniln kn i -at ivrii-ty *of ftk1- w rk. for whi- b
ihee nnwan rad nrE. . Stud lorcu.. la. In . .it,n
to t T .lii J l NITTIt..iffli
t'.,if3 nu 3N 3Tui1 lio1TO , MAS.
DR. St B, CO0W!L, La Port- !ud,
,to A<hiuti -rimsO(N a (:o.. P'ort.land, Mie
A ( .NT'3 \NTF lf-r t.u- b. tend i-i. .. IU
* I'31d i e Io indtis ti n an tmutin)ur
~ 1 , ~ fit in -13311 3 ,~, i-r mourt neu Vur
T HE rE8T IS CHEAPEST.''
JA~LrinH RESH EBS SA-ILs
Atlarstua-Ga.
Wialk JJoro aid Sleep, lmuslly.
Mr. Jont \W. Ootx,, Priiiatl of tho Gale
School, 'T'roy, N. Y., writes us:
" Tu' o, N. Y., April 7. I'$1.
"Ihavinlg ho mn aNflio!edi for so'- r:ul , e Ir,;
n;it with lleaj, thw enu.e of whicl w 1un
lilowll to 1no for at 1lng tilm', and m1t col''
inuod disalility gettin;, to be of so s-io:m
mtd distrossiini, at charaet'3r" as ti cau.e ;:i a;
anxiety with ny lf"amiily itil friend", l beiwlt
"tistletd upon t"'O:O inve:tigati'on th:t the(
auseu of my sickness was tho lisen- I cont"t.
ion of my kidneys ail liv( r. At this timie
,y acciIent a friend, wh') h1:11l silnilatr s,iy
o:ins to mnine, inforiie,d noe o tim ;;.-e.1t
iiirovomont in his h'altlh by takin;: 11unt 's
Kemody, and t,er'ided iw to tr- it. 1
inmediatly comtneect taking it, ati t'rom
Ie first bottlo e_-i to ill)Irove, n aitl its
onttullued ue aitlfon." .t.'"y esI(, -lnd ro
Nllts. I Can slee) r"o:iully, walk IbIet'r, ihn
b,o3 fron pains, indI th sex -e alt ts of
I- adlache front which I suffereil;,) :nuich have
tisal,ppearod, and( I o wetrl'ully r. c'>nlanmld
A1unt's 1t011n10ly for aill iurin>-:os I,l)- which it
s ndvertisoad. I will adtd ii CO,- n ; t::t ny
vi fo its used it very st w :i;t'ullt" fo)r 1)ru
e11tiiig the nttacks of sic":t Lo:tj i,'1' with
aich sho had bol aillic!u.1 fro:i yo.h,.i
Almnost I)ii1henetened1.
A promino:lt citizou sonltts us the folywii
it;t( o:ntent:
Fo ti soveral years 1 Iutve bel very ::..,i
)us'y ailllieto I with i severo )ain i ny I)n:1'- ;.
vhich I long su1)po)ell to bt 1inh'1ti;,aI
Ieunatismi of the bau;;. Nlorot rur, ietn; iu
mills had b ecolo 1ino -1' ,'vern, so ilti1'-b
hit it w.ts with dillic"ulty tlhit I was l aIbb n
tot out of bedt in the Iinot-i:i::. I lod ti in I
rious remodies wit ho't itlny aiia riruit rel.e f.
13 tho einest" solicilat to:I of a frieid I o:n.
nenced 1(tunt's ltn:c:l;:, aith t three wt k:"
tgo. itnd its inst:ati:n-us IbenelitS are v.,on
lerful, for I have had no f)aius inl my Iacl,
nce taking tIo first thte doses; 'ltal tun
"elieved front t le ini" , 11 hi; anie i t' xliaust it e
venlkness, the I)ainlful rnil ,n1K that u:sually1
tcompantty diae l' nth l - k;itneys. Aitl '
x,u!idently- expeet to b,e (onltilely 8tn. iper"
liUneitlyV cured ly the II ' t of it.. I ni1oI;1
lIcor"fnlly reconnluernll lIbot'r; ietldy to till
b1o atre alillietkd With any ki<hni-y or licul
isea:te. W11,1:1.\\M U. AIINOL1D,
W\"alnitti ircet, I'rovidenct, 1i. 1.
Mlarch 29, 1$i :.
3O0DAYSJL
pRr S
DR.
BEfORE -AND - AFTER
Electric Appliances are sent on 30 Days' Trial.
TO MEN ONLY, YOUNG OR OLD,
W 110 nro iu,ri'i,ri:, from Ntitvoe:s 11ril. sY,
LoST \'-t1tl.ltV. LAcK oHr N'I;ltIi 1"Oi-tY. AND
ioOt, VATI( -'i F:ACNEssI'n, nni al th -n ,nP.-s -
Of t 'F.tSONAf. NATI'IN. l','itiln: fr,.n Atis.Es1ani.
OTuEI (;At-F hi. -.,ee"dy reli"f 1nl cn'lot rct',
rationof iitAI.Tl''i)It,\' il n MAN'I nt11 G)( IAnta sTF:n:1.
The grandbst discovery of tho N in,"t''nthI (,"ntr-y.
St'ndatoncof,"riu:,lrat..:d1'ulrphictfrtu., Addlres3
VOLTAIC BELT CO., MARSHALL, MICII.
I@*
S a
me
0 -
-m e, *o rtut . i * . 0e
MIL & FA m. PLE
OF ALLKINDS ":. , HOSE
and PACKING, O1LS, PUJMPS ALL.
KINDS, hlRON PIPE, FITTINGS,
BRASS GOODS, STEAM GAUGES,
ENGINE GOVERiNORS, &c. Sendfor
Price-list. W. HI. DIL LINGH A M & Co
4 Main Street. LOUISVILLE. KY.
SMITH & SPAUT.,Di, Piropr',t. 1.ife gehIolshp,
tult etn Innt. F"or fullt p;art iuar addij,.N, .1. '1.
Afer. thorough~l truui of' th
IRtON 'lONIC. I ta.ko pIeaanre'C
iln sIttt.- that I h.u ti bee -.'oaj*9.
use l?it('trs onej 1>P i
of the great.*st e.1
where' i. Tonb ,'n "at.
asn e -eitaible 'OkilLi~
dIoubte(I nuhtritive andc ~'4'~
zestorative properties. E' A
Lvnill. Ky., (ke. I, t"'. F "
The Westinot~
no Keyinig Uip
*"))1rially! ( adapted to
00TTO N MIL1I.R.
ROLLING M1LLS,
PLANING MILLS,
8A W MIL LS,
PA PER M IL LS,
CO0 TON GINNING,
ELEO1T'fIJ LIGHITINo,
t Sr<'l .for I :tratfcl Gircidar. Mr4
- IITiTNURGHoi, PA.
General State Agencies:
V L.Am ENGINEERING CO., 88 h:rietti
Street, .At! ta, Ga.
IONTooMKRY Iaox WoREs, Montgow. s
*r t. Alabarn.
SOMETHINC
EVERY LADY
OUGHT TO KNOW.
There exists a means of so
curingt a soft and brilliant
Complexion, no matter how
poor it may naturally be.
1aFan's Magnolia Balmt is a
delicate and harmless arti
cle, which instantly renioves.
Freckles, Tan, Redness,
Rou rhness, Erupt ions, Vul -A
gar'lushimgs, etc., etc. So
delicate and natural ,re its
effects that Its use .s not
sus sected by anybody.
No lady has the right to
present a disfigured faice in
society wh0(en the Magnolia
Balm is sold by all druggists
for 7~> cents.
NEW IMPROVED
W AT C-1 E3s
-A .+t "tA ! fln, t Tinitj Keepurt', lowru31 pric+.
N1:NIlrt' 1ul U.1'I'.LIGC
J. P. 'aEVENS WATCH CO.
A WntTrrnAxt r,EUT. - - ATLANTA. (iA A
A Great Problem.
TAKE ALL THE
Kidney& Liver
Medicines,
PURIFIERS,
RHEUMATIC
Remedies.
Dyspepsia
And Indigestion Cures.
Ague, Fever,
And Bilious Specifics.
Brain& Nerve
Force Revivers.
Great Health
Restorers.
IN SIIO)ltT, T.4JH E .J TillE isaENT qnni
lIe'. Ef:ill thes, e ie beIuliehuwi Et ll
findE 1h1.1 11011' t i'TT l1.. havei thu besut (Earn- 4
( i i SEun Ei l 1( n n i Eon erai ol .all conlcetrated
in thn m:,d 6 ha I e i ll~ cu1 (tre we nany or
I i l of 'E--, il y 1 orEaI enIinEEI, fall. A thor-.
(iih '.' ri- ill nave I posaiIIh e pErof or ti.
POBox (90 Neiw Orleans, La
te i a l IIN i'i l :s.
II. n 1I,%w.r. StEam
~ I (lk. b S
A N llO0 I or all .A ho wI'l ganske .pae tirne prof
AI-e rm :. N :.Es; i oN, Ath.:ntn, ff.
M4IP! l. If Aitic.'Ji'
-' ni; 'i nta iE. 1 .0
'Not htat E.-Dr.
9 iINti i 11 Al c r.-.
to.ci ne of rUn. I ere. : ,a
Ira paa ef orm. J.r-iafAp.
ftatt, i'roAtraionc Of' B el a
* -EEEEE ' err ,,lte e ot
ouse Engmne..
ed fromn dir, Self Oiling, and reqirca
r l ja .I m- 's.