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CIO, A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c. Vol. XX. NEWBERRY, S. C., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1884. No. 9. NHE H ERALD is PUBLISIRED E/ERY THURSDAY MORNING, At Newberry, S. C. BY THOS. P. GUEKER, 'Editor and Propriesor. terms, $2.0per Jnut2s, Invariably in Advance. ! - The pper i! stopped at the expiration of a The H mark denotes expiration of subscription TBRRIBII CRA8H! THE STOCK OF WINTER CLOTHING s. w" we arecloing out at greatly redm id pcs. en' Boy's dd Children's Suits at a Secrifice. mto tose out this Stock betore moving to our large and commodious Store, which was for merly occupied by Bauknight & Co., one door morth of our present QoCation. M. L. KINARD, COLUMBIA, S. C. C LED WITH DELIGHT Ir CMDEAG WoM. IE DREAD OP TED XOTEEEE00D 1MPEMiED,TO IJE OF 3YTH MOTHEE AND* mm BY THE USE OF' THE . sel romhundedsreceived from grate b.. 1~3~C~otX i~tens: - 4~~tern6ti t one eredgto be eto uise the ' riend 'for a long obte ratice Ihaveev6Of Sioff oproduer qikandr.deliv 's. *auffrbgof eite of her formerwcnnnements nd recovered in much less tine." A layptlewho used the "Friend," said after s he oniement: "LI have never seen one thtoughthistrlaso casily andwltsoUtl it er Anepeienced midwifcwrites: "Iamxde115 -t nawit2h the 'Mother's Friend.' In every in where hav know tused Its efetshe ildoHutsvlle, Ala.. movn inthe highs t *red (Holmes' Liniment) and can frttyt, r?iitamostecxceUentpreparationl. I frel romanend It to all," Edce, 51.50 per bottle. Sent by Exprss oui useerpt of the price. Sold by all druggists. I PARED ONI,Y BY 'rHE SOL.E PROPRIEroB, J. BRADFIELD, . s Pryor 5tret, Atlamtar Ga. musica. * *11. FO0T Offers E xtra Bargains ! You will Save Money. By buying from his Fall and Winter selected si ce! o Boots, Shoes, Clothing, Trunks, Hats, Notions, 1 Groceries, &c. 4 1 wdSI umor. ~~dIar nuyu faiy hv 4frdwth I or mayrar adhave tried a great many physcians] udeisorts of treatment, but to no pups; and whn bga t tkeS is pno Iwsi a Sthe greatest medicine In exIstence, and I hope. ywh dunnewillswar to e. thtt ai E. C YWIsJzG ClralId, s -e 8 . foeyr atar with rat besnet. selleeil y th ho wiSnc and In jaes . .S. ues Ipt. ec LOW PRICES! AT J. S. RUSSELL'S, Over Stock of Bagging and Ties at Bottom Prices. ALSO New Orleans Molasses, Tin and Crockery Ware, BOOTS & SHOES, 5ugar, Coflee, Tea and all kinds of Groceries.-I have no Store Rent. House Rent or Clerk Hire to Pay, and am not to be Unnder Sold. I will try and make it pay you to CALL ONME. T. S. RUSSELL. Dee-. 12-3m. 2,000,000 SUBSCRI-BERS Want It for 188. The American Agricul urist to-day is better than ever before. We have increased our corps of Editors and rtsts, enlarged and added to all our do artments, until the Periodical is now the ecognized lead cultural Journal of he world, every issue 100 col 'mns of Original re in matter Irom the blest writers, and ner 100 Original I astrations. It is to the terest of every ,ne whose subscription has expired, or who banging his place of residence, or moving Vest, has for time being dropped out Of ,ur Army of Subscribers, to Come Back nd accept of our Unparalleled Offer of the LMERICAN AGRICULTURIST, Forl1884 A $LOO Periodical. L 600 PAGE DICTIONARY1000 Illustrations. FOES or FRIENDS?" Morris' l1xl8 Superb Plate Engraving. IN THE MEADOW." Dupre's 12x17 Superb Plate Engraving. or PIECES OF SHEET MUSIC, In place of the Dictionary. LL FOR $1.70 POST-PAID. ,CTIVE CANVASSERS WANTED.-Send wo 2-cent stamps for a Samepe Copy, and swhat awnderful paper itis now. Ad ress. MCI JUDD & CO. Davil W. JDA,. f, 751 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. "No lady can get on without it."- t )evit (Mic'A.) Advertiser. t av-CHEAPEST AND BEST.A t t Przrso,v s Njosemv., plendid Premiums for Getting up Clubs. I Iustrav(i "Gold Gift." Large-Size Steel- ( Engraving. Extra Copy for 1884. ( FULL-SIZE PAPER PATTERNS. a3-A Supplement will be given in every I amber for 1884, containing a full-size pat rn for a lady's or child's dress. Every abscriber wil receive, during the year, 1 welve of these patterns-worth more, a!one, ian the subscription-price PETERSON's MAGAZINE is the best and t heapest of the lady 's-books. It gives more r the money, and combines greater mer , than any other. In shart, lt has the 8 ~est Steel Engrvings, BestOriginal itories, est Colore Fashions, Best Work-Table atterns, Best Dress-Patterns, Best Music, t te., Etc. its Immense cireulation and long-estab shed reputation enable Its porietor to istnce all competition. Its ston, novel-. ts. etc., are admnited to be the bspub- 1 ished. All the most popular female writers ontribute to It. In 1884, more than 100 riginal stories will be given, besides SIX ] O1'YElGlHT NOVELETS-by Ann S. Steph n, Mary V. Spencer, Frank Leo Benedict, ,ucy H. Hooper, the author of "Josiah llen's Wife,'. and the anthor of "The See nd Life." C00O0ED STEEL FASRION.--PLATl81 I "PETERSON" is the only magazine that ives these. They are TwiCE THE UsUAL iz, and are unequaled for beauty. Also, ousehold, Cookery, and other receipts; ; .rticles on Art Embroidery, Flower Culture, I lose Decoration-In short, everything In eresting to ladies. 'ERlS, ALWAYS IN ADVANCE, S2,O0A YEAR, *3UNPARAJ TILED OFFEEs TO CLUBsa'( 2 Copies for $3.50,3 for $1.50 With asuperb ilustrated Volume: "The Golden Gift," or a a.rge-size costly steel engraving, "Tired I kit." tor getting up the Club. 4 Copies for $6.50, 6 for $9.00. With an ex ra copy of the Magazine for 1881, as a prem- ( n5 do ithe prson gtg up the Clu bt he Golden Gui,"hor e lr s1eelan raving, "Tired Out," to the person getting p the Club. rer Larger Clubs Greater Inducement!1 Addes, AoRLES J. PETERSON, 306 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa. *3Specimens sent gratis, If written for, get up clubs with. 42-tf. 1E NEWBERRY HERALD, TilE AMERICAN AS RICULTUJRIST, TWO SUPERB ENGRAY-1 lNSS, ALL FOR S3,1O, The American Agriculturist is one of4 >ur most valuable exehanges. It has I ust entered upon the 43d year of its istence, with varied improvements, .nd more reading matter and engrav gs. It is, invaluable to the Farm, ardn and Household. We will fur tish the American Agriculturist and the we Elegar* Engravings, "Foes or ~riends ?" ...d "In thAe Meadow," ~lsewhere described, and the HERALD or one year to any address, on receipt f Three Dollars and ten cents, Ten ~ents extra for packing in substantial ubes and forwarding by mail the En ~ravgs. Sampson Pope, I. D.n, PY10IAN AND SRGKEON, Offlee-Opera House, KEWBERjY, i, Cs() In addition tea general practice pays special attention to the treatment of diseases of Females, and Chronic dis esses of all kinds including diseases of the Respiratory and Circulatory Sys tems-of the Bowels, Kidneys, Bladder, Rectum, Liver, Stomach, Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat, of the Nervous Sys temn and Cancerous Sores and Ulcers, Correspondence sollcited, Apr S 4-7. CHILDHOOD'S YEARS. BY W' B. FOX. 0, Fleeting Time! Give back to me The joys of childhood's happy years! Give back the hours from anguish free And take these bitter sighs and tears! For Iam weary and would fain, Forget the dreams that round mne -cling; Df hopes I cherished, crushed and slain, That o'er me now their shadows fling. lowly the pain-fraught years go by. Watching life's flowers fade and die. [ count them not, howe'er they flee, For life is but a dreAm to me. Long, long ago with trust betray'd I saw from life the sunshine fade ind earth grew drearier, day by day, As all that cheer'd it flew away. [ove's holy vows I've found untrue, And soon forgbt for a face that's new. [f honor and wealth filla the offer'd .hand, It matte-s not for the heart?sil,mand. ow, at the g'lded shrine of Fame, I've seen the faithless ,cart bow dewn, [o win the praise of a favor'd name, Which paltry greatness gave renown. #&ldthbtq IN NIDENT FROM LIF91 -0 How damp and cold and foggy it ras in Lambeth Palace Road one )ecember evening. It was terrible Loisy too, for huge carts, laden with teavy goods from the Southwestern Zailway terminus hard by, rattled acessantly over the stones, and verybody hurried along to be out f the thorough;are as soon as pos ible. Three little urchins formed an mception to the bustling crowd, or they lingered for more than an iour around the big iron gates of t. Thomas's Hospital in spite of he constant knocks and pushes hey received, custom having made hem almost uncon4cious of such reatment. Besides, the attraction rhich kept them there was a power al one. They had actually witness d, while they waited, the airival if no less than three Christmas rees. Two of them, it is true, rere only young fir trees dug up rom a plantation somewhere in the ountry and sent straight to the. Ospital there to be dressed up in 11 their attractive fineLy, but the hird tree was a present frow the rife of one of the consulting phy icians and was already trimmed ,nd decorated and covered with oys. There was some delay in moving b from the light cat t and carrying t into the building, and so the three mall boys outside had time for a ong lookt at it in all its beauty. )ne must be a child to understand rhat that beauty is; colored flags, told and silver balls, dolls, truim iets, candles, crackers, sweeties hey need a child's imagination to >e appreciated, but we may perhaps, iappily have enough of it left in us o know how much they convey to uim. The boys on they sticky pavement >utside gave a long-drawn sigh as he beautiful tree went out of sight ad they turned away to their own sual su:roundings-mud, fog, cold, liscomfort, such as they had been Lccustomed to all through their short ives.* "My !" said one of them, Jimmy >y name; "wouldn't I just like to >e sick in there and 'ave that there ree to play with !" It was a sentiment echoed by the ther two, as they edged themselves ong the railing of the hospital, naking their way back toward the oom they usually slept in in Lam eth. 'Well, we ain't sick," said anoth r of them, called Peter, although he harsh, dry voice he spoke in and rhite, wan face might have told an >ther tale. "And so we ain't got no tree !" said the third boy, Bill. They had dmost reached the corner of West ninister Bridge, in depressed si ence, when Pet- as he was comn nonly called-suddenly stopped, md, with a smile that was pleasing mough to see, although his comn anions did not notice it, exclaim-. "Ain't I got a hidea !" After which statement he pro pounded to his attentive audience, ideas being, if not rare, always interesting to boys. And certainly Pet's was original and worthy of c~onsderation. He suggested that one of them should feign to be ill; should get taken into the hospital, and when once there should see the tree in all its glory. The plan sounded delightful, the only ob,jection~ to it being that they cold not all play the principal part lu=t. Time anianawhouatmldb the lucky one by the all-popula method of tossing, and Pet won th toss. This was fortunate, for be sides having distinctly the firs right to his own idea, which the la< did not think of, he was the onlj one of the three who would havi been capable of acting his part but yet did not know this either. He only gave Jimmy and Bill few hints as to what they were t< do, how they were to look as scar& as possible when Bill's father cam( home at night, and how they wer( to say they knew nothing of Pet except that he was suddenly "tool bad." Whereupon the "taking" prompt ly occurred, and with a thud that was unexpected even to Jimmy and }ill, Pet threw himself down at full length on the pavem--nt. A small crowd instantly collected round them. Most of f ae people only stared a moment and then passed on; one or two expressed pity; and after a few moments the inevitable policeman arrived and pushed his way up to Pet's side, roughly questioning Jimmy and Bill. They wimpered a bit and looking frightened-to order, and the policeman, after rolling Pet over with his foot and finding him apparently altogether unconscious said he must go to the hospital, and, with the help of a good-natured bystander, himself carried him there, Jimmy and Bill and several others following. It was something to be inside those great walls, as Jimmy and Bill and Pet, too, thought, while the latter was being carried by the reporter on a stretcher into the casualty ward and a big bell was rang for Number One-that is, a young dresser always handy, who sees a case first, and, if it be trifling, attends to it without - sending for the house surgeon. But of Pet the dresser could make nothing at all, and he soon called the house sur geon, who came running down from the top of the high building and ap plied himself with the rapidity of a hard-worked man to the considera tiorvof the case before him. He did not look over thirty, but there was an amount of decision, a, firm ness and a gentleness in his touch use he had made of his head and his heart. The policeman stated what he knew and was dismissed, while the surgeon looked for all the most likely symptoms in Pet, and was able to find none of them. The patient was simply unconscious. The boys wera asked whether Pet had been il before _he fell down suddenly, and they said: "No, only the cough !" And as they both cried, or howled steadily, all the time, the- dresser sent them away, telling them they might come the next morning to hear what is the matter with their friend. They, not sorry to get their dismissal after the surgeon had ar rived on the scene, scampered off. Then the surgern, systematically and very patientif indeed, began at Pet's head an.l examined him down to his fe-.t t') find some cause of this extraordinary unconscious ness, and could find none. Dis ease be found indeed, for the poor little fel!ow's lungs were half gone, but as he sr.id to the dresser: "Boys don't drop down unconscious from that !" Ueing strangely baffled, the surgeon ordered Pet to be taken to the childrcn's ward, undressed and put to bed. "VWe'll see what we can make of him then," he said. It was not by any means easy for Pet to keep up his acting. es pecially when strong ammonia was put under his nose and almost boil ing water to his feet, but he man aged it, more now from pride than from longing after the Christmas tree, even. Only when he was lifted by the nurse into a soft, clean, warm bed, such as he had rever dreamt of before, that small closed mouth of his involuntarily parted, and something very like a smile, like the ghost of a smile, stole over his face. Thr surgeon, noticing it, was struck with the idea that the boy might be shamming. "Fetch the battery here," he said. Pet did not know what a battery meant, or his smile;would certainly have disappeared as involuntarily as it had come. The surgeon waited by his side, holding his small hand and think ing to himself that, shamming or nor shamming, Pet had the most pathetic face be had met with in all his experience of sadness and suffering. Then the battery was brought and a slight shock was administer ed from it down Pet's back, "Oh ! that was horrible !" thought the lad. "What was it? Would il come again?" He managed not to wince ndel it the first time. A second and harder shock was given. Pet did not quite scream, but he pressei his fingers so hard into the house surgeon's hand that the latter knew he was right in his conjecture Then a third shock was given stronger one, and this time Pe sprang out of bed with tears star tng tn Mas eva and azlaimed r "Oh! don't do it again; don't do a it again!" - One or two students round were laughing, but the surgeon did not i see anything but pathos in the scene, as he said, gravely: "Then you are not ill, and have been giving us all this trouble for nothing. Why did you do it?" He wanted the lad to tell the truth, and of course to him Pet did. "Please, sir," he said, not crying now, but looking straight with his gray eyes into the doctor's face, " 'twas the tree, the Christias tree, as I wanted to see so awful bad! Me and Jimmy and Bill, we seed it a-carried into here, all beautiful, and-and-I did want to see it again !" "And so you pretended to be ill, that you might come in here, and "Yes, sir." "And what am I got to do with you now, do you think?" "Turn me out again," said Pet promptly. There was something very like a quiver in the surgeon's voice as he said with infinite tenderness: "No, my lad, I shan't do that to you, you shall see the Christmas tree in here. You are not what you pretended to be, but you are quite ill enough to stay in the ward until after Christmas time, and then we will see !" And so Pet had his Christmas tree, and Jimmy and Bill came in at the surgeon's invitation to see it, too, but Pet did not go back with them to Lambeth. He never left the hospital again, for consumption ran a rapid course with him, and before three months were over he died in the ward. TOOUTTERLYGOOD. REFLECTIONS UPON THE MARRIAGE OF A WOMAN BORN WITHOUT ARMS. We were reading in an exchange the other day of the marriage of a >monm UEngh'ad-w"-das born without arms, but who can use her toes with remarkable dexterity. She can sew, -knit, crochet, use a knife and fork, and scratch her head with her toes with as much ease as more fortunate motals can with their fingers. After reading the article we leaned back in our easy chair, closed our eyes and allowed our thoughts to go off on an excursion across the water. We followed that girl from the day when she first snared a beau until her marriage, and some of the men tal pictures we drew were indeed queer ones. When her lover would call, of course she would receive him as other ladies* would, and just imagine how odd it would be to see her reaching up her foot, taking his hat between her toes, placing it upon the table and motioning him to a seat. She would sit by his side talking all the little nonsen sical nothings that lovers usually talk, even and anon slapping him lovingly on the cheek with the sole of her foot when he would get off joke at her expense. She spies a hair on his collar, and with a ds terity bordering on the marvelous, reaching up with witching grace, takes it in her toes and casts it away. We can see sitting there with her foot in his hand responding to his tender squeezes, or coyly toying with his wiskers with her taper toes. Mayhap he may hint that he doubts her constancy, when, with an injured look upon her face, she puts her foot upon her heart. and assues him that it beats only for him, that at every pulsation the bounding blood murmurs his belov ed name. Then he smiles, takes the lovely foot in his hand, kisses it fondly and assures her that he was but jesting and that he would as soon doubt the purity of a babe as to doubt her love. If the neck tie becomes loosened how gracefully she would tie it with both feet, tap ping the tie neatly down with a big toe when the job was completed. We can picture her screeming with laughter and clapping her feet in glee over some funny story, or wip ing away the unhidden tear with her toes at a recital of want and suffer ing. When about to part he would kiss and ask her for just one loving embrace, and with the light of love beaming in her eyes she would but no, f,hat is not the question. We forgot for a moment her unfor tunate condition. He would have to do all the embracing himself. She would hand him his hat, escort him to the door, give him a good night shake with the foot and then sit down by the fire and draw a beautiful picture of the day when he would fall upon his knees before her and ask her for her foot and heart. Then she would retire to Iher chamber, ur dress, sit down on the floor and bury her face. in her feet and say her prayers as all good girls should and go to bed to dream of a future frescoed with bliss and dadoed with supreme hap - piness. . AnA the maelaia -WI , U Of course the bride could not enter leaning upon the arm of the groom as is customary, for it would be rather unique and odd to see her hopping in on one foot, and she might - attact undue attention. They approach the altar and the ceremony begins. Where right hands are usually joined she must give him her right foot, and at the words "with this ring I thee wed," the peculiar circumstances of the case would compel him to place the golden band of love upon one of her toes. Of course it would tickle her and she might flinch and wiggle her pearly toes, but this need cause no serious hitch in the proceedings. After the ceremony friends would crowd up and shake her foot and rain down blessings- and kind wishes upon her head, and under propitious skies they would set forth upon the journey of life foot in hand. -If the union should be blessed with children how exhilarating it, would be see her spank an obstinate youngster. She would snatch him up with her toes, lay him across her knee and whack the holy delights out of him with. the sole of her foot. Then she would release him, shake her toe at him sternly and tell him that if ever he disobeys her again she will make him think he has been sitting on i hot stove lid.' As to kneading dough for the morning biscuits-well, we will drop the curtain of curiosity and pursue her no further. PENALTIES. The penalty of popularity is envy. The penalty of thin shoes is a cold. The penalty of a tight boot is corns. The penalty of a baby is sleepless nights. The penalty of apublic dinner is bad wine. The penalty: of marrying is a mother-in-law. The penalty of a pretty cook is an empty larder. The penalty of a good-father is a silver knife, fork and spoon. The penalty of kissntbaby is half a dollar (one dollar if you are liberal) to the nurse. The penalty of interfering be tween man and wife is abuse, fre quently accompanied with blows from both. The penalty of buying cheap clothes is like going to law-the certainty of losing your suit, and having to pay for it. The penalty of remaining single single is having no one who cares a button for. you, as abundantly proved by the state of your shirts. The penalty of a legacy, or for tune, is the sudden discovery of a host of poor relations you never drempt of, and a number of debts you had quite forgotten. The penalty of lending is, with a book or an unbrella, the certain loss of it; with your name to a bill the certain payment of it; and with a horse, the lamest chance of ever seeing it back again sound. RIDE FOR A .JUG OF LIQUOR. One night a Carolina judge had been out very late and on his re turn, after stabling his horse, he kpt 'tvigil even later with some sympathetic friende. On rising in the morning and desedhding to the breakfast room, his throat very dry, what was his surprise to find the demijohn that stood on the ta ble in a similarly arid condition. ''Sambo." "Y-yes, sah." "Take this jock-saddle the mare, and ride down to the Corners and get it filled as quickly as-you know how. Do you hear?" "Yy-es, sah." His order given, and the slow and stuttering Sambo from the room, the thirsty son of Bacchus and Minerva sat himself down, watch in hand, to await the com mitting of his commission. "Two minutes," he murmured, brokenly, gasping as chickens do when their porridge is too dry-"the mare is bridled-saddled-and Samnbo is on her back. Now he is down the path, out the gate and on the high way. Good old bessy! How she flies along! Now they are by the willow tree. Now they are crossing the brook-now-and now-the the two miles are finished and they are at the store. Two minutes for the boy to finish waiting on the customers already there.-two mic utes to draw the-for Sambo and it is on its way. Here it comes. Over the brook and by the tree along the road-along the lane through the gate- up the path and hero it is with Sambof" "I s say m massa, I eocan't find that ere bridle any-wha! Why, h here it is, massa, behind your eair! Guess you must ha' bringed it in last night." There is but one road to lead us to God-humility; all other ways would only lead astra , even were they fenced iwih vittas THE BUD OF PROMISE. "Is this the place?" A prepossessing- young lady stood-in the doorway of the editor ial rooms and was, gazing around the apartment in a friendly but somewhat mysterious manner. . "It depends on what you want," replied the horse reporter. If you -are on a wild and fruitless search for a piece of plum-colored satin to match a dress, or a new kind of carpet-sweeper that will never by any possibility keep in working order three consecutive days, you are joyously sailing away on the wrong track, but if you would like an editor-" "That's it," said the young lady. "I want to see an editor; I guess it is the literary editor. I saw such a sweet verse in the Tribune the other day. It went like this: 'The bloom on the heather is fading, dar I lng, The moorlands are vrimson, gold, God grant we may live togethor darling, Together till we grow old.") "Well," said the horse reporter, "our-bloom-on-the-heath editor is just out now, but maybe some of the rest of us could-attend to your case. What is it you want?" "I am going to graduate next month sir," said the young lady, "and I've got to read an essay. Isn't it funny?" "It will be very," responded the personal friend of St. Julien. "And I thought,' 'continued' the young lady, "that perhaps the liter ary editor would give me some ad vice about the subject of my essay and the general manner in which it should be treated. But possibly you could do it-just as well," and the coming graduate smiled a sweet encouraging smile. "I guess likely I could," was the reply. "You've got your white dress made, I suppose?" "Yes, sir." "Well, that's a good deal. What were you thinking of writing about!" "I don't exactly know, sir. That was what puzzled me.' "The bud of promise racket is a pretty good one," said the horse re porter. "The what !" -"The Bud of Promise racket, It's a daisy scheme for girl grad uates." "Could you tell me," asked the young lady in a hesitating manner, "about this--" ' "Racket?" suggested the horse reporter, "About this racket," "Oh, certainly. You want to start the essay with a few remarks about sprinf being the most beau tiful season of the year-the time when the tender blades of grass. kissed by the dews of heaven and warmed by the kindly rays of the sun, peep forth, at the first timidly, and then in all the royal splendor of their vivid colors, from the bosom of the earth that was such a while ago wrapped in the mantle of snowy whiteness and fast bound in the chilly arms of the hory-headed old winter. Then say as the glad sun shine leaps through the bits of fo liage that begin .to come out and cast their grateful shade upon .the earth, they fall upon the buds that are loading fruit trees, and soon on every branch the buds ripen and burst forth in a wealth otfloral love liness. Then compare the maiden just stepping forth from the pre cincts of the school, and gazing with wistful, eager eyes out into the world with the little bud upon the tree, and say that she, too, by the aid of the sunlight which comes from education, will soon develop into a woman, that priceless gift of God to man, and ever cast about her the holy light of love. That ought to fetch 'em," "It sounds nice, doesn't it?" said the young lady. -'You bet it does, sis. or course, you and I know that when a girl graduates she is as useless as a fan in a cyclone, but it won't do to say so. You just give it to 'em the way I told you and you'll be all right." "Thank you very much, sir," said the young lady, starting for the door. "Don't forget to tie your essay with a blue ribbon," said the horse reporter. "No, sir, I won't." "And tell your papa to buy a bouquet to fire at you:" "Yes, sir. Good-bye." "Bon soir. Come around when you fall in love and I will put you up to a great scheme for making Charley declare his intentions sev eral months earlier than would otherwise be the case." "Is you gwine to get an overcoat this winter?" asked a darkey of' a companion. "Well, I dunno how that's gwlne to be," was the reply. I'se done got mys eye on a coat, but de fellah what owns it keeps his eye on it, too." If the Superior Being of the un iverse would look down upon the world to find the most Interesting object, it would be the unfinished, uninformed character ofyoug men; or ot yoang WOnSa. Advertiemeno insared at te rate E $1.00 per square (one inch) fbrnrs&heerUusn and 7 cents fbr each subsequent fneerd. Double columnadverdsements tom per cew, on above. Notices of meegs,obftUariesandWtribitc of respect, same rates per square as ordinUe adverdsements. Spca Nodes in Localcolums 5eert perlie - Adres---m-notmadved with imm. ber InserIons wiabe tpot Ia tMinAN anhargedcecwXdae6. pe"acontracts made with le adver wis. With liberal deductionsoua ate"Is JOB PRJ"Iw DONE WITH NE&TOs AXD DIsMATCR TERMS CASH; Agreeable advice is seldom us ful advice. The weak may be joked out of anything but their weaknes. All the whetting in the worN can never set a razor's edge on thi which hath no steel in it. The chains of habit are generally to small to be felt till they are"too strong to be broken. Freckles have become very fsh ionable. The Princess Louise and all the nice girls have them. The true test of civilization is not the census, nor the size of cities, nor the crops-no, but the kind of men the country turns out. 'Tis a rule that goes a great way in the government of a sober mal life, not to put anything to, haiard that may be secured ,by industry consideration or circumspection. Make every one welcome to your church, to your pew, toyour prayer ' meeting. People like to .go where they can see by men's actions that they are cordially welcome. He who does not respect coni. i dence will neyer find happiness i. his path. The belief in virtie vnW__ isbes from his heart, the source of nobler actions beccmes exinct in him. A good authority on fas'ons an nounces that the bustle hereafter to be worn will be a small featber pi low. This will be a great-im ment on the newspaper in slippe weather. "What are you going to do *hen you are a man?" asked a gentle man of a four year old toddler. Aftr a moment of deep toht: - "Well, I guess I will be the fiter ~ of some other little boy." "Yes,3' said the mother, 'k* married ayoung man from the)cl contry because her farther would not buy her aseskin ~a~.She: sad she (wesbop1ir on her' this-winter !" Oh my i It s when our budding hopes ar nipped beyond recovery by sae rough wind that we are .the mos disposed to picture to ourselves what flowels they might have borne ~~ If they bad flourished. "Your sister has a sweet mnouth, Mr. Brown," remaked Mr;. Smith. "Yes." added Feudeisoao, auxious o say someiDg apptoprigtel "a'id such a la:-ge mouth, too." Ever# moth was shut immediately, and ~ Feoderson wished he hadn't opened , "Johnnie, 3d eay one have the coup in your house last night 1" "Don ao! What made you ax me?" 'Well, I saw a light in your house long after miduigh." Oh! that's my sise!She has somedtinfg doWu in 1,e parlor awful late every_night,. but I don't know wheather it is the croup or not." A jolly old uncle had been-relat - ing some incide'ts of his earlier lift to his nephew.. "Of all the 'women you ever met, uncle," said the young mli, "By your aunt, my boy, by your aunt," replied the ol gentlemao, dropping his voice and feeling the back of his head tender An Alabama weddng is thus described: 'The bridal marchlf ' was played by Will Corley on a hamou1ca.- The groom was attired in a hickory-stripe shirt and cop pes-colored pants, and on his arm was gently suspended his buidejike a clear rib side of bacon or bushel of meal." In Italy it is customary for three or four married women to drag? bride to -her would-be-bbsband. She pretends to strugle desperately o get away. .A wise journalist points out that It would take all the married women in the country. to hold back an American girl who had cocluded to enter the conjugal state. Go HornF Boys. - Boys, do06 i hang around the corner of the streets If you have anything to do, doir 2 promptly, right off, then go home. Hoes the place for boy.A the street corners and at the they learn to talk slang, and they learn to swear, to smoke tobeocen and do many other thIngs which they ought not to do.. Do your business and then go:d home. If your business isi pay?g play and make a business of It. I d like to see boys play good, earnest, healthy games. If I was the town I would give ~the boys tgo healthy play ground, -tshuldM plenty of soft green grasandtrese and fountains, and~ broad space to ~ ru, and jumpad to play suitable games. I would make It as pesa% as lovelyas could be, and Iwo$ give it to the boyp5 to~ playI in when the play wWe anded In~ ellthan to go abis