The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, January 05, 1881, Image 1
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VEy WEDNESDAY NORNING, trit
~y~j~ WEDESDA MORIN-\ of respect, same rates per square as orilinal)
advertisements.
At Newberry, S. C. - sre&l Notices in Loeal column 15 een
perlhue.
BY THO. F. GRENEKER, e".ins*r
Editor andProprietor.
Terins, $2.1.00 per 1.1panuell,
A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c
Invariably im Advance.
eTpaper is stopped at the e WTEATNEr: ANI ISATC
Vol. eoeXIL NEWBERRY, S.JANUARY 5, 1881. No. 1. TERMS CASH
Drugs X Fancy articles.
DR. S. F. FANT,
Wholesalz ari Retail
(Ie--s I-oported and Indigenous Lrng..
S: p-e ..._1 Ratre C'hemicnl6.
Foreign tnd Domestic Medical PrepAra
tions.
FinEssetid ils and Select Powders.
Ne PharmaceuLdeal 1t-mnedies'.
tu.cial attet!tion is ea!led to the low1o%
ing Sa1ndatrd Preparaition.s: h
FA NT'S Lver Ri't or.
FAN TS Elix:r o1Calisaya With Pyrophr-s
yunte of Irou.
FA NT" CO.-pou- Fluid Extrac of l,i-hu
F.a '. -o opourd Extract of Qicen'-.
i-bt an San saparilla, with
of P'otassimu.
F.ANT'S Soothirg Syrup.
Fi:NT'S Esse,e of -Tamaca Ginger.
FANT'S Ague Cure-well knowtA to everv
one in the County, haviog been i
thorougbly teated in fever and
agne.
FA-NT'S 0Ologne.
Guratne and Iron Bitters-the great
Blood Pnriifier.
Sole Agent for Swift's Syphilitic Specific,
the Great Eliminator of al Impuritiesof the
Blood. The curt- for Scrofula, Rhe.uma
tism, Neourailgia ind all Ne'rvous Affections.
Buckeye Pale Ointment, a specific !or
Piles.
I also offer the largest assortment of
Lzmps, Soaps, Perfumery, Hair Brushes,
Tooth Brushes, and Toilet Articles, of ev
ery description, at the very lowcst prices.
Call and examine foi yourselves.
Prescriptions carefully compounided at all
hours of the dav and night.
Mar. Z1, 14-tf. .
e?iiscellaneons.
Ba-J. F. GRArros, SToUr B. LAi)D,
IULBEIrT E. PAINE.
Late C6inmissioner of Patents.
PATENTS.
PAINE, GRAFTON & LADD,
Attorneys-at-Law and Solicitors of Ameri
can and Foreign Patents.
412 FiFrH STREET, WASIHfNrGTo. D. C.
Practice patent law in all its branches in
the Patent Office, and in the Supreme and
Circuit Courts of the United 'States. Pam
phlet sent tree on receipt of stamp for post
age. Sep. 1,188A 36-ta.
NEW RESTAURANT
-AND
SAMPLE ROOM.
The undersigned woind rvpecifollr 1.- 1
form hs friends that he h"s opened
THE RESTAURANT
In rear of the grocery 5,ore, corner of
Richiardson and Taylor Streets. The
are beautifi lY fitzed u-. Meais are
at a4l hours durin-, the day.
HVT LUN0H every dv from 11 to 1 P.
M. The best Winp, Liqiors and Cigars, I
CiJer ar.d Lager Beei.
G. DIE11CHS,
Dec. 22, 52--tf . COLUiila, S. G.
, TT AGENTS I
{J .IWANTED.
We want a limited number of active. en
ergetic canvassers to engage in a pleasagt
and profitable business. Good men will
find this a rare chance
TO MAKE MONEY.
Such will please answer this advertise
ment by letter, enelosing stamp fo'r reply.
stating what business they have been en
gaged in. None but those who mean busi
neas need apply. A ddress
FINLEY, HARVEY & CO.,
Nov. 17.180-47-2y. Atlanta, Ga.
THE
Respeed.ully otYers its servies to those
paren.s who desire to secure for tiwir
daughters the :horough and symmt2etricanl
cultivation of their physienl, int-e'u '!,
and moral powers. It is c-ondunctd en
what is called the "One-Study"
Plan, with a Sm-.Asso. Couts of
Study ; and, by a system of Tuitional P're
miums, its Low Rates tare made suil lower
for m.L who average 85 per cent.
No Public Exercises. No "-Receptions."
G:aduation, which is always private, may
occur eight times a year.
For full information, write for an llus
trated Catalogue. Addres
REV. S. L ANDER, President,
Oct. 27, 44-ly Willianiston, S. C.
f Yourselves by making money
when a golden chance is offered,
thereby always ikeeping poverty
irom your door. Those who al
ways take advantage of the godchances
for making money that are oered, gene
rally become wealthy, while those wino do
not improve such chances remlain ini pover
ty. We,*want many men, women. heys anom
girls to work for us right in their own lo
calities. The business will pay more than
ten times ordinary wages. W e furnish an
expensive outtlt and all that you need.
free. No one who engages fails to make
money very rapidly. Y'ou can devote your
wihole time to the work, or only your spare
moments. Full information and all that is
needed sent free. Address Stinson & Co..
Portland, Maine.
Oct. 13. 42-1y.
HARVEY REESE,
IN NEWBERRY HOTEL
Belt g desirous. of giving gen '-ai satisfac
tion, 1 have spred. 1o paiUS to mnake my
shop) comfortable and mgreeabh- to all who
visit mue. I will :h conmduct the business.
and aoiicit plain and faehionable work. Sat
isfaction' guaraaeed. I tiha:.k mny jnmer
ous patron1s for their generous support im
thne mast. Sep. 22, 39 -f
H. L. FARLEY,
Attornley at Law
REAL ESTATE AGENT,
SPARITANBUJRG, 8.0C.
PROMPT ATTEETIOM TG ALL BUSINESS.
MLar. 10, 11-y.
-XIiscellaneous.
lew Store! New Stock!
1.tving oreemi,d a iww und contmodious
,ore o:i the .ite of ou O1i St.tud, our fa
li:ie '0o C0'onducting Olt- Foreig:n aud Do
et-ic Fruit tr-;de ::t*i inow u sr m -
Thle aktteti,oi o! ouifr-:,s ami dealersq
%er.iy, ik cak1e to 0his facft, al.d also to
-r !.'h Iupp;:e5 w iing to-,Iav.
I t,; ,arrels Northern .s.PPLES.
i boxes Mesina Lt-mtmis.
-25 b-irrvi., an-i h-ul b,at reis Peatr
5 pkg.. Delawre a:i.l Guonerd Grape'.
2s b:arrels L, Ro-e Potatoes.
.25 1poiiihre l 0L:nio 3.
Iw barrels Noi thern Cahe.
Peachei ad Grapes i ! ven moing
v Exoress. C. 1.\RT & .,
55, -57 .d 5.1 ah t -e .
-*p. 2-, :9-4 i t harluton, . C
1880. 1880.
't 1N3 CbiT I 1 TEL,
(Formerly the Wheeler House,)
COLULMBIA, S. C.
110ROUGHLY HYNOVATED,
REFURNISHED AND REFITTED.
TERMS, $2.00 TO $3.00 PER DAY.
OHN T. WILLEY, Propriet'r.
Nov. 10, 46-tf.
PRED VON SANTEN,
279 KING ST., C00LESTN, S. 0.
anta Das' fl dquArlrs,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
OW REAM* TO SUPPLY
EVERYfB01tf;
)OME AND- SEE ME.
.NV. 17. 47-6.n.
HENRY BAYER,
IMPORTER 'OF
BANANAS,
ZOANUTS AND ORANGES,
And Wholesale Deler in
pples, Potatoes, Onions, &c.,
215 EAST BAY.
CiHARLESTON, S. C.
[G' Promipt attcntiou given to country
re;rs. Nov. 17, 47-Gm.
C. C. PLENGE,
er aer Broad and Church Streets,
CHARLESTON, S. C.
AGENT FOR
DUNLAP'S FMTH AVENUE HATS.
FAL.L STYLES NOW READY!
Uie .ik 'atS. t.0. $34 0 .
*Ken's Solt 1ats. Sc. to $r..
MnCI's StifT UUts. $1.00 to $:.50.
OBY hATS FOR. YOUNG 31EN, A SPECIALTY.
U.BUELLAS.
Silk Umbrellas, fron $.00 upwards.
:.Ia from $2 5v to $4.50.
G ing~h " 75ci., $1.00, $1.25, $1.50.
Morniug Bands put on 11ats.25 Cents.
HatsRecetocked and Triunied.
.&y A call is respectully solicited.
Nov. 17,47-Onm.
rAVI LION HOTEL,
CHARLESTON, S. C.
Tis poptulair and centrally located House
as been entirely renovated during the past
ummner and was REOPENED to the travel
g public on August 16,1880.
Terms, $2 and $2.50 per Day,
E. T. GAILLARD,
Nov. 17, 47-tf. PROPRIE fOR.
HERMANN BULWINKLE,
~actr and General Commissiei Iercbant
CHARLESTON, S, C.,
DEALER IN
3ERMA.N KAINIT, or POTASU SALT,
Pernvian Guano. No. 1 and'No. 2,
Pure Fish Giuaro, Nova Scotih Land Plas.
er, Ground south Garolina Pbosph.ate, and
,her FERTILUZERS. Also,
Corn, Oats, Hay, &c.
Orders filled with dispatch, and iiberal
tdvances made on consignmieras of Cotton
td other Produce.
Nov. 10, 46-3m.
Preserve Your Old Books !
E. R. STOKES,
Blank Book Manufacturer
GEIR1R BI00KBNDER
Has moved opposite the City Hall, where
he is fully prepared, with first-class work
men, to do alI.kinds of work in his line.
BLANK BOOKS RULED to any pattert
and bound itn any style desired.
Myv facilities and long acquaintance with
the bimies. enab'e me to guarantee satisfac.
tion on orders for Bank Books, Rairoad
Books, and Booka for the use of Clerks of
Court, Sheriffs, Probate Judges. Masters it
.quity, and other County Ulficialis.
Pmphlets, Magazines, Mu-ic. Newspaper
and Periodicals, and all kinds of pub!ication:
boun on the most reasonable terms and its
the best manner.
All orders promptly attended to.
E. R. STOKES,
Man Street, opposite New City Hall,
Oet 8, 41-t f. .Colubia. S. C.
NEWBERRY HOTEL,
-BY
A. W. T. SIMMONS.
This elegasnt new IIotel is no0w opeu for th
retiot:n of guests, and the pro;.rietor wil
spare no effort to give satisfaction to thb
traveling public. Good airy rooms, com
:r ble beds, the but of fare, attentive, ac
e.nmdting servants,and modera te charge!
Pianos and Organs.
C
91 0
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fO -
NATURE ODN
REMEDY
A
;VEGETABLE
, MEDICINE FOR T',-lE
i
IBP.0RD ER&KIODYS.I
pasA med!icil-al com
pnudo nv au
Fo3lo iese'E
MEDATINE FOR - T h r--"
- ,Jir r the e les.
For Liver comIplains. Harmles~s in r.ction an<i
thioroughi in its effect.
E, It is unetxcelled for the
TCURAi - cure of atl Blood ble.
For Kidr.ey Diseases. uta, Tusa)ora. Bo.Ls,
Tetter.Salt Rheu 21.
Rheumactin:nl.Mer
CUAIENTU u.ialJoion5ng,
For Reutuatisml. gh,pJld. In ".
1oach R e entin -
CURA TINE, "'''"lftiflo
For Scrofuta Di eaees. ASK YOUR DJRUGCIST
FOR IT.
CURATINE, THEBRFEucaL cOc.
ror n'apea,Papo BALTIMORE, Md.
Wholesale by DOWIE: & .3o0s$, Wholesale
Druggists. Charleston, S. C. 15-ly.
NEVER FAILS
To Give Entire Satisfaction.
A pill th a. has become standard and is
having an utnprecedent'd sale throughout
the South, is
GILDER'S
Liver
Pills,
They are honest,
They are certain.,
They have no equal,
And are ree9>mne.ded byv themc.14 asbe
ng,ddoing? all ui.w : P 'pe r claim
bor them.
Tihey have neve'r f.ald to h.ave te de.
ii.d effect where other pilb. h,.ve* b- .,n un
successfully tried.
- --AT
W. E. PELHAM'S.
SUBSCRIBE FOR THE
WEEKLY PALMETTO YEOMAN,
COLUMBIA. S. C.
It is an 8 page paper, des.ignedi for the peo
ple, filled witIh in:eresdt,g matter--Fan ily
Reading, News, Mairkets, &c. Subsicription:
One Year, si 50: Seveu Months, $1.00;
Tree Months, 50O Cents--paya:>Ae in -ad
vance. For Six Names. and Nine Dollars an
Extra Copy for one year. Specimens fur
nished. The DAILY YEOMAN, an after
noon paper,% $4 a year.
- ~ C. M1. McJUNKIN.
40-tt Editor and Publisher.
Clnhhad witht rhe Hama.at $.'125.
C,5p.
HERE AND THERE A GEM.
GATHERED FOR THE N. T. OBSERVER.
"When thou hast thanked thy God for eve
blessing sent,
What time will then remain for murmurs
lament." -Archbishop Trench.
I Itnow not if or dark or brignt
Shall be my lot,
If that wherein my hopes delight
Be best or not.
It may be mine to drag for years
Toil's heavy chain;
Or day and night, my meat be tears
On bed of pain.
Dear faces may surround my hearth
With smiles and glee;
Or I may dwell alone and mirth
Be strange to me.
My bark is wafted from the strand
By breath divine,
And on the balm there rest a hand
Other than mine.
One who has known in storms to sail,
I have on board;
Above the raging of the gale
I have my Lord.
He holds me when the billows smite;
I shall not fall.
If sharp, 'tis short; if long, 'tis light;
He tempers all.
Safe to the land! safe to the land I
The end is this,
And then with Him go hand and hand
Far into bliss.
-Dean Alford.
A FORCED. COFESSI0i
-0
It bad been a stltry day at Fei
Island. All the afternoon the tr<
boughs had drooped under t]
tropic glow of the sun, the bir
had huddled silently it bowei
no-.ks, the cattle stood knee dei
in the delicious ripples of the lit
ped water, and Kitty Crawfor
peeping ont from behind the serei
of her Madeira vines, had watch<
the party of picknickers go by
their little pony photons and t
huge, covered wagon, not witho
a sigh.
'It's all very well to have L
thing to do but to enjoy on
self, but I have got the litt
chickens to take care of, and t
gooseberry jam to make, and u
own blue muslin dress to iron, i
expect to look decent in chur
next Sunday. Oh, dear ! oh, des
how nice it would be if peoj
didn't have to work in this worl.
There goes Matilda Emmons,
her new lace bunting dress wi
the white Langnedoc trimming
how pretty she looks, to be surt
And Miss Emmons, catching~
glimpse of Kitty Crawford's v
let blue eyes behind the Madei
vines, drew up her horse witt
scientific jerk of the reins.
'Kitty,' she cried, in sweet,i
perative tones, 'aren't you going
'To the picnic, do you mean ?
-To the picnic, of course.'
'Certainly I'm niot ?' retort
Kitty.
'But why ?' questioned M
Emmons.
Kitty elevated her pretty t
tilted nose in the air.
'Because,' said she, 'I doi
choose to be looked down upon
those haughty city girls and th
attendant cavaliers.'
'Nousense !' said Matilda.
'You may say wh:. you pleat
returned Kitty, 'but 1 know ti
Parke Cameron despises me,
cause I have red hands, and fre<
led across the bridge of my noc
and because I am only a farne
daughter. And I won't be
spised !'
'You little goose !' cried 11
Emmions, with good-humored
periority. 'Didn't be dance w
you, and no one else, last night
the moon-light frolic?'
'That's because he wanted
amuse himae!f,' said Kitty, haug
ly. 'Do you suppose I don't<
riminate between real, genu
respect, and the supercilious[
ronage of a fine gentleman whi
l'ughing in his sleeve all
time ?'
And the indignant dewdr,
sparkled on her long, curled e
lashes as she spoke.
'You're altogether mistake
cried Miss Emmnons, with emp
sis. 'But if'you will be so wro
headed I can't stop to argue "
y. omyl jnump into the p2
carriage and go with me to tb
pienic '
But Kitty resolutely shook he
head.
I'No.' said she, 'I shall stay a
home and pick gooseberries fo
ry jam.'
Eat, instead of picking goose
0..a ."
berries she indulged in a hearti
cry, when Matilda and her pon2
were ou1t of sight.
'He don't care for me,' said shi
to berself. 'and I'm determined -
won't care for him ! He shal
find out I'm not one of the senti
mental damsels we read of ii
books who die of unrequite<
love.'
And Kitty Crawford dasbe<
the salt spray off her eyelashes
and went out to feed the down
little chickens, which were peep
ing about the kitchen doorston
like so many animated balls o
yellow velvet.
And there was butter to worl
over and to pack down in hug
stone jars; and the blue musli
dress, with its multitudinous littl
frills and flounces to iron ; an
then her brother Philo came i
with a linen duster that must b
mended before he could set fort
on his daily walk to the ps4toffice
and old Mrs. Dodge sent over t
- see if Miss Kitty would make
bowl of jelly to tempt the failiu
appetite of her consumptiv
daughter ; and the brood c
young turkeys wondered off int
the wheat-fields, and had to b
coaxed home again ; so that i
was quite dark before Kitty r
membered the gooseberries fo
the morrow's jamr-.dark wit
Is electric masses of purple-blac
. clouds piled up against the sk3
and ominous mutterings of that
9 der in the air.
n
d) '1 do believe its going to rain
said Kitty, despairingly, 'and m,
d gooseberries are not picked yet
And with a quick motion sh
caught Phil's hat and duster frot
ie 0
at the hatrack, and sped down int
the cool, secluded greenery of tb
0. garden, where a neighbor's bug
Spear-tree droopod over the stoi
wall on one side, and the hedge
,leb
be gooseberry bushes grew below.
But as the green balls of swee
ness rained down into ber baske
she became conscious of a rustlin
rI in the pear boughs beyond whei
ile a huge hammock swung.
- Some of Mrs. Peck's city boar<
in ers arc there,' said Kitty to he
th self ; 'but I won't notice 'er.'
__But she colored 'celestial ros;
red' under the broad brim of hi
abrother's Manilla hat, when st
recognized tbe sound of Parn
Cameron's low and rather langui
a voice.
'Js it you, Philo ?'
mKitty picked on, silently ar
?expeditiously, without a sing
wvord of answer.
But evidently the interlocut<
ed was not discouraged.
'So you're like me,' he resum<
S-'preferring your own society
the gay clamor of the picnic pa
ty.'
P'Philo,' said Cameron, abruptl
s't do you suppose I should flt
by your sister at home, if I were
ai go up to the house ? She avoit
me so systematically that I ci
never get an opportunity
, speak, to her ; and, for the life
lat me I can't tell why.'
be The Manilla hat dropped low
k. than ever among tbe gooseberi
se, tbicketi;the nervous fingers wor
n's ed away with redoubled speed.
1e- Kitty Crawford wished hers<
anywhere on earth just then b
.is on that particular spot.
su- 'Do yen think I should have t
ith ghost of a chance with her, i.
at asked her boldly to become n
wife?' said Parke Cameron, plur
to ing valiantly into the heart of I
ht subject ; 'for, of all the girls I ev
is- aw, she comes nearest to my id<
in of perfect womanhbood, and I ha
rat- learned to love her deeply a
is passionately I Don't, for heavel
the sake, be so silent, old fellow, t
less you- purposely wish to d
ops courage my suit I' he added, wi
ye- something like impatience in
voice. 'Tell me, have I groun
n !' for hope?'
ha- Kitty was trembling all ov
ng- more like a frighted blue-bi
'ith jcaught in a net. Was ever ag
,ypaced in such an embarrassi
3 predicament before. How she
wished she had let Philo's linen
e duster and broad-brimmed hat:
alone!
t 'Why don't you answer me?'
S'demanded the deep voice, waxing
still more impatient in its tone.
And to add to Kitty's perplex-;
ities, the big drops of rain began
r to patter inexorably down, and a
zig-zag streak of ligbtning shot
crosswise across the threatening
sky, a zone of living fire.
'Discretion is the better part of
. valor,' said our little heroine to t
herself and, catching up the only r
1 half-filled basket of emerald fruit,
she prepared for au iguominious -
I flight.
But Mr. Cameron had no notion
of this. With a quick movement
- he sprang from the hammock t
5 above, and placed himself direct
f ly across the narrow pathway, I
thus effectually barricading all re
r treat.
3 'Old fellow !' said be, half laugh.
I ing and half in earnest, 'you shall
a not stir a step from here unless
I you tell me whether or not-'
I ' will go !' cried Kitty Crawford,
a bursting into hysterical tears.
2 'You-you have no right to stop
me this way !'
> If the thunderbolts even then
. muLtering through the Lilight
sky had siricken him with their
e electric hands, Parke Cameron
f could have scarcely been more
stupified and amazed.
e 'M1iss Crawford ' he exclaimed,
t 'Kitty, can it be possible that this
a is you ?-that I have committed
r such an awkward blunder as-'
b But, in the self-same instant, he
k comprehended that his suit must
- be pleaded now or never-that a
i- cowardly lover is never a success
ful one.
,' 'Kitty,' said he, still barricading
y the way. '1 have told you frankly
!' that I love you. You must be
e equally outspoken with me.'
n 'But-but it rains !' faltered Kit
o ty, looking wildly this way or that
e for some method of escape.
e 'I don't care if it rains a de
e lucgel' said Parke Cameron ; 'I
>f will know my fate!'
'When we get up to the house,'
t- said Kitty, evasively.
t, 'Now,' insisted Cameron.
g 'Please let me get by,' pleaded
-e Kitty.
'Not until you decide one wvay
j or the other,' said Parke.
r- 'But I have decided,' said Kit
ty, cruelly maltreating the buttons
r- of Philo's linen duster in her con
r fusion.
e 'Speak out your decision, then,
:e at once,' said Parke Cameron,
d niith an imperiousness that some
how didn't displease Miss Craw
ford at all.
d 'I do love you,' blushingly con
le fessed Kitty-'that is, I think I
do.'
>r And then the rain came down
in huge cylinders of crystal;, and
d the lhghtning blazed overhead,
. and Parke and Kitty had to run
n- for their lives to the piazza of the
old farm-house.
'There l' said Kitty, 'I haven't
d picked my gooseberries for the
o jam, after all.'
~ I'll help you to-morrowv,' said
n Parke Cameron.
to And, to the end of his days, he
of declared that gooseberry jam was
his favorite conserve.
.y Experiment has shown that if
k 50,000 pounds, once applied, will
just break a bar of iron or steel, a
fstress very much less than 50,
u000 pounds will break it if re
peated suffieien tly often. Wrought
iron will crystallize anid break
beasier thneast ro.It is well
known that wrought iron, sub
7 jected to continuoue vibration,
assumes a crystalline structure,
hand its cohesive power is much
er Ideteriorated there by.'
a'You can't play that on me !'
,said the piano to the amiateer who
broke down on a difficult piece of
i-music.
1is A California man has a farm of
ds 65,000 acres. It is fortunate for
him that he hasn't them in his
er, aw.
rd
ir A may may be headstrong
m. withont heing strong-headed.
Risallaneous.
TO THE LADIES.
L Few Practical Words From an Augusta
Housekeeper.
The following, from a well-known
ugusta lady we publish with pleas
ire, as containing a few words of im.
ortance:
7ditors Chronicle and Constitu.
tionalist :
I am not sure bat that I should say
o the gentleieu that I address my
emarks on the very interesting.sub.
ect of good eating and home cookery
-for after all they are the;ones for
rhom, we cudgel our brains, toast.our
aces and burn our fingers in ,the
arnest endeavor to provide daicties
hat will tickle. their palates, win their
miles, and, as a matter of course,
:eep them in a good humor.
To secure this last named result,
me of the best methods known is to
eat them to a nicely appointed, well
repared dinner, and it seldom fails.
[t is, therefore evident that the ladies,
n this very pardonable desire.and in
heir own pride of housekeeping, ueed
11 - the assistance that is to be had,
md now we come to the subject un
oer discusion to the point to which I
ould call attention. The Ladies'
Aid Society of the Second Presby
erian Church have, through. their
abors, supplied a long felt. want in the
Issue of a book. -called ."Choice Be
:ipes of Georgia Housekeepers,' and
.ey are recipes that have been well
ried, and that are well known to all,
and the very name of the book insures
good cheer and the best of living.
The names annexed .to the recipes are
a guarantee of their worth, and no
housekeeper need fear in the use of
them the result that hasibeen often
known to follow the trial ofa indis
criminate recipes, viz: The loss of
aterial, time and patience. So I
would suggest to all good diners, or
those who love the good things of
this life. to provide theniselves with a
copy of this valuable work, and se
cure thereby the smiles of their wives,
thd gratitude of tbse workers in a
good cause, and last but by no means
least, increased satisfaction in the en
joyment of well-made dishes.
HOUSEKEEPER.
Not a few of our anecdotes of wit
and humor are connected with the
clergy, all denomi.iations of whom are
at times represented. This time it is
a good Methodlist brother of whom
we speak. Through the influence of
a presiding elder, who, as he thought,
was prejudiced against him, he was
appointed to a small and scattered
settlement, when he and most of his
friends felt that he ought to have
been sent to some prominent position.
Lamenting the narrowness ofg~he field
to which he had been allQtted, he was
reminded by a friend that he ought
not to be dissatisfied, but rather to
pray that he might see the hand of
the Lord in his appointment to just
such a place. To which he replied,
'I have-I have tried, brother, to do
as you1 say ; and time and again I
have prayed to the Lord that I might
see His band in it, but every time, as
I looked up, all I could see wa.s the
big paw of that presiding elder."
A NEW COMET DISCOVERED.-The
chairman of the committee on astron
omy heaved a deep sigh and reported
as follows : "Dis committee am well
awar' of de fack dat a comet has re
ently bin diskivered about 60,000,
000 miles on de road to Heaben, an'
dat it am now supposed to be ap
prochin' de y'arth at a rapid rate, but
de comnmittee sees no speshul oc
cashun to get excited. it will be a
month or so before de said comet eau
git here, an' de chances am, dat de
'arth will mash it at de fust bump.
Dis commit:,ee advises de members of
de club to git dar butes tapped, dar
overcoat8 patched an' dar wood hauled
up fur winter, an' let de comet biz.
ness take keer o' itself."-Free Press.
False fronts of shirts, vest and coat
are now furnished corpses by the
New York undertakers for $10;
a saving of $30 on a suit. "Ain't
the deceased loss enough without
chucking in his clothes, too ?' re
marked on of them in defense of the
sham. He computes that $3,000,000
were annually wasted in grave clothes,
besides being a temptation to grave
robhery.
A few facts not so generally known
as they'- shduld be: - 4wa4ch filed
with a second-Ea-ad u&id not'tiepasi.
Iy be._-__ -lead-wewhek-BeOWrs
v.,nerally. agree about'leeing their
patients. Steam - isa .servibt,ithat
sometimes blows up iteeasate n
11ngramaAtical judgi:ia apt to?=;n'
incorrect sentence. Pouchera who
get into prA-erves very-. of&k-.s-fmd
themselves in -pickles..- Any foolman
wake a wan 'talk,bhb it's hdAo
make one isten. 'A -sbarain-the
buslh-is worth two im IMhe hauL.d
Affectionate wnother,t o:- s)-op
'Why dojou cry, Jolpny- Wj&hs
hurt you?' Johnny egg a4re
lautily pasagfrecvauege~ll
Mother-.Yesterda ! TheAIy4lo
you cry to-day J' .iba or,ng at
the top of his voice)-,O4A, .'calse
you weren't home,yestr4y.' -
A droll fell4, 1ised A ric.old
gentleman out of amipond,ag re
fused the offer of tweng vcets
from the rescued miser. 'Oh,-that's
too much !" caolzaed he ; "tain't
worth it !" andhe4an4ded 4Awen
ty-one .cnts, saying. almls." je
pocketed .four qen4, isat. about
right."
The section hands near ,Rock Rap
ids, Ill., discovered the head o ef calf'
protruding from a snow difi .the
other day. Up.qn a2%eligg 0opthe
critter proved to be iie afd imme
diately began eating. Ielonged to
Hoval .Oeson, hadbeen.ihtly
buuud up -y the drift fox d
'A Duthan who i dh ee
ond wife soon after the funeral he.
first' was tisied with a-two hottrs'
sereuadein tokn of Heapp 6 -He
gxpostulated pathetically t1us: 'I
say, poys, you ought to beshamed'of
yourselfto'be' making al&dis noise
ven dere 'vas a funeral here so soon.
-1 - .4
An exchange gives 'a' reewp,for
preserving 'the hair.' Bt Bti l the
use of wasting 1ugar db sech"6IHff
Nobody would eat such preserve." A
man who relishes tri'Igfind a
pickled chignon palatable, bildre
don't believe lie would jake kindly to
preserved hair.
'Do you want' to ifl1hcYrMd ?I
claimed a gentleman as be sawa oy
tip the baby out of itscisrriagon.Ae
walk. 'No, not quite,' repTied The
boy ; 'but if I can get him to biwl
loud enough, mnother will take~care of
him while I go and~ wae%thd h
A lady want.-"to laio* rh hfle
railroad companies do -not 'p:vide
special 'cars for' tobaco chewet,''as
well as for smokers. 'Bles3oufhn
'rfoeent-heirt! tobec kwers freot
so pairticular as that. EnJ ordinary
passenger enr is g fd -eEotgh "for
them. -
A reporter'-eatt brking house
and takes notes, a,id it'i a#lright.
Along comes. another -fellow, -akes
some notes and gets-jugged for'Irc
years. This illustiates thd prites
enjoyed by the prew.
A Westera young lady 'who has
been visiting Boston1'saya.the gy.ng
men there~ are so vald tha&.they! atas
if they thoughtTbe7 wsre -digybu
the greatest possible fayer;jspeking
The new .governes-'ff yea aa a
poor man starvinlg,in the ..#ret,
wobldn't you give himz, somoaof popr
pudding, Tommy?' Tommj,dFd'
give him some of yours, Miss
Smith ! -
We have just read a.hapdker
chief flir tation code andpd~visenal
men desiring to-avoid.k.beeof
promise suits to wipe t.heiroes
with their coat-tails. ,
[Boston.Post.
'Oh, dear ! I wish .L was degd!'
exclaimed a neglected maiden.
She had heard that match* are
made in heaven.
Afamiliar instance of coo-is s
is that of a man taking a bro aik
ambrella'and Yeat ig a,g~r*n.giggya~n
in its place.
The Utes have killed five of Ouray's
best horses that they migh t accom
pany him to the 'happ'y huting