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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c. Vol. XII. WEDNESDAY MORNING, APRIL 26, 1876. No. 17. THlbE H ER AL D 19 PUBLISHED EVERY WED-NESDAY MORNING, At Newberry, S. C. BY THOS, Fe GRENDKERt Editor and Proprietor. Terims 2~ per .Innum, Inva4zably in Advance. Dm The paper is stopped at the expiration 0f time for which it is paid. 27- The >1 mark denotes expiration of sub [From the' ew York World.] THE CABINET GRANT BUILT. 1. This is the Cabinet Grant bifilt. (Williams, Delano, Pierrepont, Chandler, Robeson, Borie, Creswell, Richardson, Jewell.) This is the Secretary of War, That was pat in the Cabinet Grant bailt, (VF. W. Belknap.) Ill. This is the Bribe which didn't abhor The mode! Secretary of War That was put in the Cabinet Grant built. ($40,MG0) IV. This is the fat Post Tradership for Which the Bribe he didn't abhor Was paid to the Secretary of War That was put in the Cabinet Grant bailt. (Fort Sill Tradership.) V. L These are the soldiers at Fort Sill Who paid for whiskey a dollar a gill, To reimbarse Marsh and Evans for The Bribe that took and didn't abhor --- The model Setretary of War That ws pnt in the CIAbinet Grant bnilt. and preparing for the spring cam paign. Though there was nothing exciting in all this, it was very try ing to the men, for the season was unusually severe, and the hospitals were well filled. One morning Hill came to my quarters. - "Well, Hill," said I, as he enter ed, "what can 1 do for you this morning ?" "I wish to go on the sick list, if you please, sir," he replied in a qui et tone. I started, and looked at him searchingly. Though I had seen the young soldier often, I had nev er been in his presence before. He was a slight, finely formed fellow, with the most effeminate face I ever saw. Had he been a woman, I should have called him a beauty; and as it was, I could not deny him the distinction of being pretty. His voice was soft and clear, and, though it did not seem to be that of a man,was hardly that of a woman. I gazed at him searchingly, but he bore my scrutiny well. "You are not sick, I hope ?" I remarked, at length. "I am broken down, doctor," he answered. "I have been on guard for five successive nights." "The deuce you have!" 1 exclaim ed, in astonishment. "The regi ment. isn't so short of men as that, is it?" ."No, six," he replied, quietly. "I was kept,on by the colonel's orders. He says the guard duty is very im portant just now, and he wants the best men in the regiment to be put on it." "Has he kept any one else on so long ?" I questioned. "No, sir, I would not have come to you to-day, but that I am inca pable of standing another night. I should fall asleep on post from sheer exhaustion. Then I suppose I would be shot for sleeping in the presence of the enemy." "By Jove !" I muttered, "that's what Colonel Anson is up to." I spoke louder than I intended. He heard me, and replied in a tone in which there was some bitterness, in spite of his efforts to repress it. "I am afraid so, sir. I do not see why Col. Anson should dislike me so much. I never merited his displeasure. Heaven knows," he added, and I saw his features trem ble as with a sharp pain, "I would die to serve him.''" "Very good;" I said. "You can remain at your guarters for two days and consider yourself on the sick list for that time." Thanking me, he went away. The fellow perplexed me. I was confident that there was some mnys tery existing between him and the colonel, and known only to these two. While I was musing upon this, the colonel .sent for me. He received me with cold. polite ness. "What is the matter with Hill ?" he asked. "He is broken down by the un usual fatigue to which he had been subjected. Five successive turns o guazrd duty would kill a much stronger man than he is." "Who has kept him on so long ?" asked the colonel, biting his lip. "He was kept on by your orders, I believe, sir," I replied, looking him full in the face; "and I must say, colonel, that I am surprised at your putting him to such a test, unless you wish to kill him." Colonel Anson started, and look. ed at me searchingly. "Has Hill dared to reflect upon the conduct of his commanding officer ?" he asked, coldly, but with out meeting my eye. "He sai~d no more than every one in the regiment has," I replied, "that he regretted having gained your dislike, as he was sure he had done nothing to merit it." "Was that all he said, doctor ?" "He added," I replied, after hesi tating a moment, "that he would gladly die to serve you.", An expression of intense pain swept over Colonel Anson's face; but he was silent. After a brief Ipause he said quietly : "I will not Idetain you longer, doctor. I am sorry to hear of Hill's sickness." I was more perplexed when I left the room than I was when T n Itered it: and during the long ai ter I had no means of gratifying my curiosity. Indeed, it was in tensified by the fact that, at the ex press request of Colonel Anson, th< President promoted Hill to a vacant lieutenancy in his company At last we went to the Peninsula, ard ere long my regiment was call. ed on to participate in the des perate battle of Fair Oaks. That engagement brought me .w o r k enough, for my regiment suffered terribly. As hardened as I thought I had become, I grew faint and sick 6ver the drsadful work that gave me neither rest nor hope of rest. The little fi e 1 d hospita] which I had established on the edge of the swamp seemed to me a per feet slaughterhouse, and I longed more eagerly than I had ever do-ne for a cessation of the fighting. It came at last, a little after ten o'clock on Sunday morning. I had cleared out my hospital, and had sent my last man across the Chickahominy. My assistants were absent for some purpose, and I was the only person in the little structure of boughs. Suddenly I was aroused from a reverie into which I had fallen, by the hurried entrance of some one. I looked up and saw Colonel Anson stand ing before me. He was pale and exhausted, and was bleeding from a deep cut in the head. He held in his arms the inanimate form of Lieutenant Hill. I never saw so much grief in a human face as was written on that of Colonel Anson, as he laid his burden on the rude table. "Be quick, doctor, for Heaven's sake !" he said, painfully. "But you are wounded, colonel ! I exclaimed, when my astonishment vould let me speak. "Never mind me," was the quick retort. "Attend to this one." Hill waswounded in the breast, and I saw at a glance that it was a da3igerous and a doubtful case. I bent down to loosen his coat, and examined the injury. I could do no good. The aim had been true, and the ball had gone right through the heart. This was not my ~only discovery. I had learned a part of the mystery that hung over Hill. "Heavens, colonel !" I exclaimed, looking up at bien. "This is a wo man !" "The only one that ever loved me, groaned the colonel. "She followed me here in male disguise ; and this morning when I was in danger, saved me, who had done nothing but wrong her, at the cost of her own life. She was my - wife, doc tor." He left me before I could speak. This was all I ever knew. The next day the colonel was shot in a skirmish. I had him buried in the grave where we had laid his wife. and to this day I have never learn ed the secret of their unhappy lives. Hrs Luom EXPwMNTON.-A Chi cago woman who had been reading about the whiskey frauds in thE paper, turned to her husband and inquired : 'My dear, what do the papers mean by saying that the man has squealed?' 'Why,' replied the man loftily, 'they mean that some member of the ring has peached on the rest. 'Peached on the rest ?' exclaimed the wife ; 'now what does thai mean?' 'Why, it means that he's-he's blowed on 'em.' 'Blowed on them.' 'Yes;~ you see he's given 'em. away.' 'Given as. ay.' Why, of course-dummit ! Can'1 you.understand anything ! D)o yov think I'm an unabridged dictionary? continued the husband impatiently 'It means he's-he's let out on'e -gone back on his pals-squealed you know ?' The woman did not seem quite satisfied with the man's lucid ex planation ; but not wishing to ap pear ignorant in her husband's eyes, she remarked :'Ah, yes I see,' and questioned no further. [Chicago Journal. Temperance consists. in a moder ate use of all things calculated tc benefit and a total abstinence, fron Iall things calculated to injure man THE BONELESS MAN. A BRILLIANT INVENTION, AND WHAT BE ] FEL ON ITS TRIAL TRIP. A man who lives on the South I hill is grieviously afflicted because I the lady 'who superintended the i weekly purifications of the wearing a apparel at home always leaves a I net-work of clothes-line spread all t around his back yard. And when v he made complaint to her about it i she addressed him in the musical i accents of Christine Nilsson's native a language and overwhelmed him i with a torrent of eloquence that he a could not understat d. And when a he remonstrated with his wife and daughter about it they laughed him y to scorn, and his daughter, who t was educated at Vassar and can : hustle her terrified parent out of I the house with one hand, told him m if he interfered any more in that department around that house s he'd get drowned in the wash tub. So this man suffered. One bitter " cold morning he ran out to the woodshed after kindling and the first line caught him under the chin and v pulled his neck till it was a foot c long, and he ran into the house h and frightened his wife into fits by t his terrible appearance, and she f threatened to apply for a divorce d if he ever made faces at her in tl at t way again. It was nearly three g hours before his neck shrunk back v to its natural size. And a few r nights after that he was all dressed to go to a party with his family a and went bounding down the back b yard to see that the alley gate I was fastened, and a slack line g caught him amidships, let-him ran -h out the slacks, and then when c it hanled taut, just picked him up, a tossed the breath out of him, turn- a ed him.clean over and chucked him i down on his back, splitting his 1i coat from tail buttons to the neck. s And he couldn't speak, and he c couldn't breathe, only abont thirty 1 cents on the dollar, so he couldn't r answer his wife and daughter when t they screamed to him that they were c ready, and they concluded that he f had run away to avoid going with I them, so they went off without him, e and never went back till 11 o|clock, c and the man lay out in the back yard, 1: all that time trying to die. And r one time after that he was jogging t across the back yard with arms a full of about three hundred pounds t of hard wood, and he was laugh- r ing like a hyena at something he il had read in the Hawk Eye, when a3 clothes prop slipped just as he t passed under the line and dropped t on his head, raising a lump as big t as an egg, and he fell forward and t the line caught in his mouth, and sawed it clear back to his ears so that when he tried to smile the c top of his head only hung on a hinge. Well, t h e s e things naturally weighed on his mind and depressed him, but they set him to thinking, and he went to work and invented a patent clothes line reel, which was enclosed in a heavy cast-iron box, and was worked by a powerful auto matic arrangement. You only had1 to wind up the box and set it for ~ a certain hour just like an alarm clock and at thai hour the reel would go off, and pull on the line like a C team of mules ; the, spring hook at the other end of the line would ' let go its hold, and that line would be rolled up at the rate of a thous and miles a minute. He said no thing about his invention, but put up the box, and told some lie about S it to his family, which is a way men F have, and he set it for 7 o'clock, r p. in., and wound it up strong. Then he watched Miss Nilsson's I compatriot run out the line and ad just the hook, and he went away. About 7 o'clock that evening, while he was toasting his feet at1 the fire and reading the almanac, the family were disturbed by un-t t mistakable indications of a fight going on in the back yard between a hurricane and an earthquake, in which the earthquake appeared to be getting a little the best of it. The aifrighted family rushed to the back door and looked upon a scene of devastation and anarchy. The air as ull f fagmets f lien 6nd cotton and red flannel, and ihirt buttons and clothes pins and ittle brass buckles were flying like tail. The reel in the iron box vas making about 60,000 revo utions a minute, and was whirling ,round like a threshing machine, nd the line was tearing around he posts like a streak of runaway ightning and the clothes were try ag to keep along with it, and round the posts they were rip >ing, tearing and snapping more han any cyclone that ever got lost, rhile the line shot into the hole a the iron box, the striped stock ags and white shirts and things, nd flannels and yarn socks and un ershirts and more things, and prons ani handkerchiefs,and sheets nd things,and pillow-slips just rip ed and tore Fnd snapped until the ard and air were so full of lint hat it looked worse than an arctic now storm. Oh, it was dreadful. b was horrible. Everybody shrieked rith dismay. "Somebody's at the clothes line!" 3reamed the man's daughter. "Good heavens!" yelled the man, havn't you taken the clothes in ?" "No!" they chorused. The man thought he would save rhat was left. He sprang at the [othes line. He caught the flying ook at the end with both hands, and le next instant, before the terri ed eyes of his shrieking wife and aughter, he was jerked in through le key hole in the iron box, a uivering mass of boneless flesh, rhile his glistening skeleton fell %ttling upon the porch. They gathered his frame-work f the porch, and unlocked the ox and drew out his covering. le was not dead, -so deftly and uickly had he been removed from is frame-work. They sent for the octors, but their skill could not vail to get the man together again, nd now he sits, limb and boneless, i a high-backed easy chair, smi ng at his grinning skeleton which its in a chair on the opposite side f the store grinning sociably at is counterpart, and rattling hor ibly every time it moves its ony (?) legs, or scratches the top f its glistening head with its gaunt, eshless fingers. And thus that poor ian will have to drag out a dual xistence until death comes to both i him. It is a painful, expensive fe, for the skeleton eats just as ich as the flesh, and the flesh has ken to smoking ten cent cigars nd the skeleton can't sleep a wink ness it has a big hot whiskey every ight at bed-time. And all this Sthe result of wicked carelessness. Vhat a dreadful warning it is to hose, neglectful women who leave he clothes lines stretched across bie yard in every direction after ight.-Burlington Hawk Ey.e. HANGING A MAN.-Prof. Houghton f the University of. Dublin has een investigating the subject of nmane hanging. He states that r. Gibson, surgeon at Newgate, :ngland, has frequently seen the ictim struggle for more than twen y minutes before becoming inani nate, and proceeds to say: That he old system of taking the con ict's life by suffocation is inhuman y painful, unnecessarily prolonged, nd revolting to the spectators rhose duty it is to be present. That the object of an effective exe ution by suspension should be the nmediate rupture of the spinal col mn by the fall. That the use of a long drop" is not only much pre fera le from a humanitarianpointof view ut is the only method by which le desired object cana be effectually ttained. That the short fall and osition of the knot employed for so iany years by Calcraft are barba ims which should cease to be ermitted. That the fracture of le spinal column can best be in t~antaneously effected by placing le knot under the chin and allow ig a fall of at least ten feet. .That~ the carrying out of a capital sen me care should be exercised in le selection of a suitable rope. the execution of Henry Wain right it would seem from the sublished accounts that these prin iples were adopted by Marwood, he executioner, and with perfect uccess, and the instantaneous rap are of the spine resulted fi-om 1acing the knot under the culprit's hin. FINDING OUT THE SECRET. Mrs. Brown and her gossip, Mrs. White, were conversing about hus bands and the secrets of Free-mason ry. Mr. Brown was a Freemason; and the fact of not being able to share the secrets of the order with him made Mrs. Brown very un happy. She was pouring out her grief to Mrs. White and saying for the thousandth time, 'I wonder what they d- in the lodge room ?' 'I have no doubt but it's dread ful,' replied Mrs. White. 'But if my husband was a Mason, Il bet I'd find out what he did.' 'But how? they dare not tell.' 'Ah! but Id make him tell.' 'How! oh, how!' asked Mrs. Brown anxiously. 'Hush! I'll tell you; but don't breathe it for the world because it is a dead secret.' 'No, no; I won't.' 'Well, do you know that tickling a person's ear when. they are asleep will make them talk ' 'No. Will't though?' 'Yes. Now you wait till Brown comes home from the lodge next time. And have a broom-straw in bed with you. Whenhe gets asleep you tickle his ear with it gently,and he will begin to talk about what he. has been doing at the lodge, and in this way you can get the whole of the business out of him.' 'Gracious me! You don't say so, Mrs. White' 'To be sure I do. I always get my husband's secrets out of him in this way.' '111'do it!' "And you'll tell me all about it, won't you !' 'Certainly. But you must never say anything about it.' 'Oh, of course not. Im very close-mouthed,' replied Mrs. White earnestly. So it was agreed upon, and they separated. But unfortunately Mr. White overheard the ccn-piracy, and lost no time in informing Mr. Brown, who laughed heartily over it. A few minutes afterward Brown attended a meeting of his lodge, and his wife was alt anxiety regard ing -it. On retiring she armed herself with a straw from her broom and wakefully waited for her~ lord and master to return. At last she had almost broken down the veil of secrecy which had trou bled her so long, and her heart beat wildly when she heard him open the front door and come in. Of course she pretended to be asleep and did not see the comical smile on her husband's face as he turned up the gas and began dis robing for bed. But he said nothing, and in a few moments he was com fortablytuckedain and giving out pre monitoryindicationsof approaching sleep. Then Mrs. Brown opened her eyes cautiously, and convinced her self that he had gone to that land from which sleepy husbands never return until some time next day. Cautiously she reached under the pillow, and took the broom-straw from its hiding place. Then she reached over! carefully and began to tickle her husband's ear, and he was all the while doing his best to keep from exploding with laugh ter. Finally he began to talk a little, and her ears were keenly alive to every syllable. 'Yes, he must die,' said he. 'He betrayed our secrets to his wife. I've got to kill him-the lot fell on me.' Mrs. Brown screamed and leaped from the bed, while her husband, unable to control himself, gave vent to his laughter and disturbed the neighbors for the next ten minutes But they never came to any under standing about the strange affair. She never asked him what he was laughing at, and he never inquired what it was which made her scream and leap out of bed so quickly. Mrs. White and Mrs. Brown don't speak now. She thinks Mrs. White played a joke on her, and she seems to have lost much of her anxiety regarding the secrecy of Free Masonry. One of the great battles we have to fight in this world, is the battle with appearances. THANKSGIVING. IN DAN BURY. It is just as necessary to have poultry for a Thanksgiving din ner, as it is to have light. A Dan bury couple named Brigham, were going to have poultry for their dinner. Mr. Brigham said to his wife, before the event: "I saw some splendid chickens ia front of Merril's store, to-day, and I guess I'll get one of them this afternoon, for to-morrow." "i'll tend to that myself,'' said Mrs. Brigham quickly. "But I can get them; I'm going right by there." "But I don't wantyou to get it," she insisted. "Whlen I eat chick en I want something I can put my teeth in." And a hard look came to her face. He colored up at once. "What do you mean by that ?" "Just what I say," she explain ed, setting her teeth together. "Do you mean to say I don't know how to pick out a chicken ?" he angrily demanded. "I do." .Well, I can just tell you, Mary Ann Brigham, that I know more about chickens in one minute than you could ever find out- in a life time. And furthermore, I am go. ing to buy that chicken if one at all is bought in this house," and he struck the table with his fist. "And I tell you John Joyce Brigham," she cried,"that you don't don't know any more how to pick a good chicken than an unwean ed madturtle; and if you bring a chicken in this house .it will go out quicker'n it came in. And you can put that in your pipe an' smoke it as soon as you want to." "Whose house is this, I want to know?" he fiercely demanded. She frankly replied at once: "I suppose it belongs to a flat headed idiot with a wart on the end of his nose, but a woman who knows a spring chicken from a hump-back camel is running the establishment, and as long as she does he can't bring no patent lea.ther hens here to be cooked." "You'll see what I'll do," , he yelled, and he pulled his coat on, and jammed his cap on his head, with the fore-piece over the left ear. "You bring a chicken here if you think best, Mister Brigham," she replied. That evening there was a nice, fine chicken in the pantry, but he didn't bring it. Perhaps he for got to get his. Dinner came the next day. Mr. Brigham took his seat at the table, as usual, but it was evident that he intended mischief. Mrs. Brig ham filled a plate with chicken, mashed potatoes,and boiled onions. It was a tempting dish, emiting a delicious aroma. She passed it to Mr. Brigham. He did not look towards it. "Brigham," she said,"here's your plate." "I don't want any chicken," he said, looking nervously around the room. "Are you going to eat that chick en ?" she demanded in a voice of low intensity.. "No, I ain't-Wooh! ouch! ooh!" She had sprung to her feet in a flash, reached over the table, caught him by the hair, and had his face burrowing in the dish of hot onions. It was done so quick that he had no time to save himself, and barely had time to give utterance to his agonizing exclamations which followed upon his declaration. "Are you going to eat that chicken ?" she hoarsely demanded. "Lemme up," he screamed. She raised his head from the dish, and jammed it on the. table. "John Joyce Brigham," she hiss ed between her set teeth, "this is a day set apart by the nation ior thanksgiving and praise. I got that chicken to celebrate this day, and-I ain't going to have my grat itude and devotion upset by such a runt as you are. Now I want to know if you are going to eat that chicken like a Christian, or if you are going to cut up like a rantankerous heathen ? Answer me at once, or I'll jam your old aknil intn a jelly." ADVERTISINC RATES& Advertisements inserted at the rate of U-00 per square-one inch-forAMs iusertion, and 75c. for each subsequent Insertion. Double column advertisements tenper cent on abov*. Notices of meetings, obituaries and tributtl of respect, same rates per squae as ordinarY advertisements. Special notices in local column 15 cent 9 per line, Advertisements not marked vWfthe no=m ber of insertions vil be kept in IM forbid andcharged codg1. Specia contract made with large-adver. d,sers, with Hiberal dedmctions On above rates frox PaWw, ra a. Done with Neatness and Dispatch Terms Cash. CtI-I'll eat it,'.' he moaned. Then she let him up, and he took his plate, and one* Thanks giving meal, at least passed har moniously.-Danbury News. A SICK BABY IN THE HOVSE. The -following beautifhal senti ments will find a response in the hearts of all. true. and tender mo thers in the land: A great bush falls on the' ear like a knell, and an untold sadness settles like a pall over the heart for baby is sick. Is it not strange that a wee little thing should have the power to change -every thing, mxaking the sunshine that but yesterday played so. merrily and bright in and out of the win dow seem such a *cruel mockery to-day, and changing the,joyous tone of the elder chilctren into funeral notes? But such -is the spell that baby has *oven-knWt ting in such a quiet subtile ipanner -that wo scarcely know how_ dear she is until the little form is