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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture Markets &c. Vol. X. WEDNESDAY MORNING, JUNE 17, 1874. No. 24. THE HER"ALD IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY MOIVYING, It 'Newberry C.. H., BY THOS, F. GRENUKMR Edi tor an d Proprietor. nnns s2zo per **nvulnq Invariably in Advance. STh er I .s stopped at the expiration of .time for wehlt is paid. V-~ The.X umr denotes expiration of sub crlptloa. ]UTTLE-BREECHES. [A Pike County View of Special Providence.] I don't go much on religion. I never ain't had no show; BWt I've got a umiddlin' tight grip, sir, .On the handful o' things I know. I don't pan out os the prophets And free will, w6d that sort of thin~ But I bWlieve in God and the angels, -Ever sence one night last spring. I come into town with some turnips, And my litttle Gabe come ulong No fow-year-old, in the county Conl 14beiz h) fr pretty nd strong. Pear: and chipper and sassy. ~Awys4avady to. swear and figt Av&&filn' bf-z to chair terbackero Jast to keep his mi lk.-teeth wbhite. The snow eove down Ike a blapket As [4mw-ed by Taggares store; I went tn for a jug of molasses And kft the team at t be door. They scared at something and started I heard one little sqQ all, .And.belR-tp-split over the prairie Wtnt team, Little Breeches and all. I Was almmfite withi skeer; But we loaste I up some torebe:., Af4*RA Wr 'ei far and near. AkAba *e stmuek bo-.ses and wa,-on, ed -'anuder a soft white mound, 4a-bu: t of little Gabe vd ifdr wasod. *1.~!~pesoured on me, .... 4)COWy fellovr-critters' aid ~Z.f~ipe4dovri on my marrow-bones, t-deep to the swow, itnd prayed. voice caused the younger ones to femble its rows of boys ~id ~rin1s rides rlown hill, and the snow ball ing that would make the play ground ring again. The last lessons were said, books put aside, and in place of the silence reigned gay, glad voices. Kate Ashley threw back her jetty ringlets, and laugh ed through her sparkling eyes, as she gave Jamie Marvin that bit of a curl he had teased for so long, because she knew that Jamie had the prettiest sled in the " whole school. Ah, a bit of a coquette was that same gleeful, romping Kate; and there was Sophie Dale, :ooking as demure as a kitten walking from a pan of new milk, and playful as a kitten too, was she, in spite of her quiet looks; and the stately Eliza beth-Queen Bess they call her, and I question if England's Queen had haughtier carriage; but apart from those who were eagerly look for by friends to take them home stood Alice May-sweet Alice. Very beautiful and lovable was she,; with her winsome, childish face, blue eyes, and.soft, brown curls.-! She was delicate and fragile, you might almost fancy her a littte snow child, or a lost fairy babe. Nearly all the children had de ported, amid the joyful shouts and jingling bells, but yet the sweet lit.: tle child alone, until a rich boyish voice, startled her by saying: "No one goes your way, Alice, do they?" "No, I guess not, Ben;' she re plied, in her fine snow-bird like tones. "Well, the snow is too deep for 1 you to walk, so I guess I will carry you home. "O-, , m too heavy to be car ried so far," and she laughed so low and sweetly. "Heavy! no, you're just like this tledown, or a snow flake, Ally; 1[: could carry you to England and back again, without- being at all fa tiged;" and be tossed the little gr in his arms. "No, no, the boys will laugh at yon, Ben," and she struggled. "What, do I care? they may laugh at7Ben Bolt as much as they like," and the brave boy drew him self up proudly, and pushed the clesnut curls from his broad, fair foehead; "but I do not mean to rihten you, Alice," he continued, ashe saw how the little girl tram led. - So she put on her bonnet and fo'ak, nd hetookher ihams as e 'the had been a bird, while the ittle tiny thing nestled down on ishoger, as he went stumbling fiough the s.nw saymnggay pleas. at things, that .'nade the shy little girl laugh, and wher,. at length, he oened her mother's cCottage door, e stood on the floor, saying, "There! rs. May, I brought Alice home, lest she should get buried in a snow ank; she's such a weeny little hing;" and before Mrs. May, eould thank him, he was out of sight But the winter began to wane, nd nlow then a soft, mild day, gould come that lessened the pyra mid and snow house materially. 'Such a pityr" they said, and wish xd wintel' would *last always ; bu.t there was onxe little wren-like voice that prayed for violets and blue birds. The pyramid tumbled down, the now house grew thinner anid thin ner, and the boys jested about its being in a decline, till one day it disappeared-faded away like so any of their childish hopes. The glad spring came with its larks and daisies, and one delight ful day thiechildren went a Maying Kate Ashley was Queen, and a brilliant Queen she was too, but Ben Bolt gathered white violets, ud braided them in the soft curls A.ljice, and told her she was sweet ~r aut Cderer than a thousand May r uen a Kate. Child as she uees, i -o.Is made the. sunshine lrgher .~1-nt enchantxi-Ut to he tnLspJreOlher existence. The long ,Tu3e db,y came, encir ing the green eart wihaoo ial of roses, and ni.'aking jt r9dolent t. pefm;ad in the warm ioontide hour the ci 'dren ADilled c the foot of the hill, ,' 'd1 .t41 ag together-told over t ~~~ ish hopes of the future. $c0 ired by ambition; some dr. amed, quiet country repose, som.a of ay city life ; but there was o,ne j rhose eye kindled and young fa ce ushed with enthusiasm, as he I poke of the sparkling blue waters, y ud the brave ships that breasted ~ em so gallantly.A Ben Bolt was going to sea. Cap I ain Shirley, as generous, whole- fi ul being as ever trod the deck, n as to take him under his protec on the next five years. There ti rere exclamations of surprise and ni rrow from the children ; haunts I ere visited and revisited; they t1 ,t down in the shade of the old teamore, and listened to the musi- ti ,1 murmur of the brook, and the k reamy bnm of "Apnnleton's mill ." 'T exchanged keepsakes, and promise< to remember the merry, brav, hearted boy, whose home would b. the wide, blue ocean. Alice Nay seldom joined them. She was so delicate and timid, an< the thought of Ben's departure fill ed her eyes with tears, so she woul( steal away alone, fearful of the ridi cule of her hardier companions. But one night Ben came to Mrs May's cottage, to bid them good bye. Alice stood by the window! watching the stars, wondering wha1 made them so dim-naver thinkinc of the tears that dimmed her eyes as Ben told over his hopes so joy fully. She could not pa-.t with hin there, so she walked through th( little door-yard, and stood besid( the gate, looking like a golden crowned angel in the yellow moon light; and when he told ever agani how large she would be on his re turn, that be would not dare to cal' her his little Alice then, as he look. ed back lingeringly, she laid s soft brown curl in his hand, saying: "I have kept it for you this long ong time, Ben ; ever since you brought me home through thE snow, do you remember ?" He did remember, and with onE passionate burst of grief, he pressed bhe little girl to his bosom, and thE brave hearted boy sobbed the fare. ell he could find no words for. But five years are not always a ife-time. True, it was such to the .uiet, thoughtful Charlie Allen, hose large, dark eyes had stolen >rilliancy from his book, and the aughing, Belle Archer-both were aid to sleep in the old church yard, hen the night stars shone on their aves. Others went out to seek fortune in the gay world, and ome .grew into miniature men md women by their own sweet fire. ides; but Alice May seemed still child. Yet she was taller, and er slight form more gracefully de eloped; but there was the same Lngel looking through her eyes as 2ad watched there in the olden lays. She stayed at home now, to issist her mother in sewing, their ~hief support ; but she was- the ame shy, sweet Alice that Ben 301t had carried through the snow. Ben Bolt camne back, How ~trange that five years should have assed so quickly and stranger still bhat this tall, handsome sailor, hose voice was so full and rich, ~huld be Ben Bolt Kate Ashley ras not thinking of the sweet Sab bath rest, as the chime of the chturch~ bell floated through the village:; bhere she stood before her mirror, .rranging her shining curls, and fastening her dainty bonnet, with t3 white ribbons dropping blue. bells, thinking if she could not fas ~inate Ben with her sparkling eyes, t would be delightful to have his chief attention during his stay. He thought she did Iook very graceful as he sat before service, looking on olden faces-but thern was a fairer one,. than her's he fan ied, as he saw the sweet face o: Alice May, with the half- closed eyes md long, golden-edged lashes shadowing the pale cheek. He car eid in his bosom a curl like th one nestling so softly by her tem ple, and it a talisman, keeping hin from the enchantment of othea eyes. When the service was closed, Bei Bolt was thronged about by oli familiar faces-they had so muel to say, so many things to speak of so much joy to express at his saf4 return, that it' well nigh bewilderei him. It was very pleasant to be 5c warmly welcomed by old friends delightful to chat of by.gones ; anc it was indeed a Sabbath of joy t< Ben BolL Sweet Alice! Ah, how long' anc weary the time had been to her. Sometimes her heart died within hei as she thought of the broad ocean but when she looked so shyly at Ber that morn, and saw how handsome he had grown,a heart sickness came >ver him and the sushine fell bn dimly on the grass at her feet. Sh< knew she had hidde away to th4 depths of her pure heart, a wild earthly love, and she strove to pu t from her, for would he think o: en'.,ow? So it was no wonder sh ng slip her slender hand in he: %csand steal gqietly from thb yous ' Nbah eye--one of thos< It was b ' 1hwenings of th< almy, mnoon?. Mrs. M4y ha< 'oung summer ; ,ighbor, anw 'one to -risit a sick ia . wt h lice saf, by the w.ndow 1hf ible op en, and her slender ht ugers p ointing to the words, falli?g tusicall y from her lips "And there shall be no night iere; and 1 they shall need no candle, either li glit of the sun; for the ord Got I giveth them light, and key shall reign for ever and ever." She loo. ked tremblingly upward in ~e moon) ight, for close beside her aelt the manly form of Ben Bolt. here a *s told a sweet story of I love and hope, not the less sweet a for being the language of every human heart, and the tiny hands of sweet Alice were folded in his as - she said very low and sweetly: "If I I live, Ben, when five years mere - have passed and you return a scond time-" - She did not finish it-it was never finished. So they plighted their troth that !calm holy Sabbath evening, and the buoyant heart of Ben, in its gushing sunniness, pictured radiant: 'hopes for the future. He was young and so full of vitality-every pulse of his heart was beating gladly, and the coming five years were more precious to him than all the past. "If we both live, Ben, God will have us in his holy keeping," she said in answer to his parting words; but as he pressed her convulsively to his beating heart he replied: "God will be merciful to us who love so dearly, Alice darling." She knew it, but she knew also: that God did not always answer the prayer falling from the hopeful lips. Sweet Alice! and down the future she looked tremblingly, and saw the fragile form and spiritual face, with lilies braided in the soft, brown hair. her eyes grew dim with tears, for she knew not if it was a bridal or a burial, for close beside the altar was a grave yard. They were not wanting who wondered at Ben Bolt's choice, and thought it strange he should take Alice Ay in preference to the fairest and wealthiest. Some there were who held their heads loftily when! they passed, but her heart was away on the blue waters. and she heededl ii? not. How she watched the days in their passing. she noted how the summer waned-how the fields of waving grain grew golden in the sunlight-she heard the glad voices of the reapers; and when the leaves were falling, the merry children gathering in the woods; then the noiseless snow fell and lay on the hillside as in the olden days; until the genial spring-tide sun melted it away, and the violets and hair-bells dotted i he fields-so passed a year. She was growing fairer and more beautiful-too brilliant for anything earthly. Once she knelt at the altar in the little church, and listened to the words uniting her with the Savior's redeemed on earth, but it was only an outward form, for her heart had long been in the keeping of angels. Again she watched the waning of the summer days, and when the soft wind swept over the silvery rye fields, she thought of the sea afar, 'with its broad waves. All through the winter days she grew more spiritual in her beauty, and the slender white hands were often folded on her breast, as she prayed for those who would soon be left desolate ; for she knew she was dying. It did not staftle her, she had felt long ago that.the fair green earth would hold her pulseless heart ere it had left the cloister of girl hood. Life was sweet and beautiful, yet in her sinlessness, death had no agony, save her sorrow for those left in loneliness. It was only a little way to the land of rest, and her feet had never grown weary ; yet she longed to look once more upon the flowers, and have them tbraided in her hair, and so she lingered on until the voice of spring was beard on the hill tops. One morning when viewless hands twere gathering back the misty cur tain of the night, and the stars grew dim in the glory of early morn, sweet Alice stood on the threshold of Paradise, and the g nolden gates were opened to the fair, meek girl. There trembled on her lips a prayer and a blessing for Ben Bolt and her mother, giving radiance to the fair, dead face, and they braided spring flowers in her wavy, browvn hair. - IThe church bell chimed softly to the few years earth had oaened the stainless soul of Alice May, as they brought the coffin in the little, old church. How beautiful she looked in her white burial robe:; too fair and sw.et for death: too holy, had there not been a resurrec tion beyond. Close beside her, stood the friends of her girlhood gazing on that young face, as they woulcd iaiig cell her back to life, and its sweet love. So th~ey laid sweet Alice to sleep in th~e ol1I church Sygrd, and those who had looked godly Qr4 lpr took to their sorrow ~hearts a sweet nyeipory (f -the ~rly dead Tre wasi agony too deep for tterance when the strong, ardent hearte man, whose guiding star ad been the love of t.hat sweet girl camwe back to find the cottage home de~. date, and Alice sleeping be nati gray at-one in the church yard. dad ie r prig Bu ( erssed aay,e e cs and as years passed away, lao g&1~Q to think of her as garlanded as the golden fruitage of Eden land. This was the memory that his friend sang of, as they sat in the summer twilight years afterward, and talked of the faces that had glimmered and faded in their early pathway, how, of all the glad hearts of childhood had clustered togeth er only they two were left. Some slept in the tramulous ocean; some in the jungle depths; others in the forest shade, and beneath the wav ing prairie grass. Some there were who slept peacefully in the green old church-yard, and among these the fairest and best was "sweet Alice." Ah, he could nev<r have forgotten that. Years afterward, they laid Ben Bolt, to sleep by the side of "sweet Alice." istellneous. AIIERICA PREVIOUS TO ITS DISCOVERY BY CHRISTO PHER COLUMBUS. Hon. George S. Boutwell, of Mass., in a lecture, began by stating that America must have been known to the ancients; but that, on ac count of the difficulties which then existed of interchanging ideas and preserving- them, a link had evi dently been .dropped in the great chain of evidence which has been since taken up, without, however, effecting a satisfactory connection. From evidences which have been collated and examined by scientific men, we can safely affirm that all parts of the world were populated as soon as they became inhabitable. After giving some theories about the divisions of the human family based on 'the color of the com p1exion, the formation of the body and the growth of the hair, the speaker proceded to prove that from the specimens of architecture and mining which have been dis covered on this continent we can naturally infer that the civilization of the old countries was transplant ed here at an early date. In the vicinity of Vera Cruz,.in Mexico, there are to be found the rains of cities and town buried beneath the earth which give evidences of an enlightened civilization and which silently wait for- anV interpreter to chronicle their history. In Califor nia there are extensive mines, at the bottom of which have been found specimens of human bones and altars for worship, whose for mation plainly indicate that they were erected by Europeans. In the Lake Superior regions, too, mines have been discovered which show unmistakable signs of European skill, equal if not superior to that which now exists. Mr. Boutweil gave three reasons for the belief that the population of America was not indigenous, and that this continent was visited by Eastern mariners at an early age of the world's history. The sphericity of the earth was known in the time of Herodotus, and taught by his dis eples; it was handed down from generation to generation so that Columbus made it the basis of .his theory. The mariner's compass is not a new invention but belongs al so to the ancients. Herodotus, in his history, alludes to an instrument in the possession of the Indians, which always pointed due north, and it is a matter of history that in the fourth century of our era the Chinese mariners used the magnet ic needle. Then, again, the enter prise of the ancient mariners was equal to a passage over the Atlantic or Pacific Ocean. In the sixth cen tury, the Phoenicians had so far pro gressed in the knowledge of navia gation that they occupied the Black Sea, the. Mediterranean, and even as far as the Baltic Sea ; they be come familiar with the passages into the Indian Ocean ; had obtain ed possession of ports along the costs,and were familia.r with the tides and changes of the sea. Their ships were known'f0 be away for three years at a time, and as they had so far perfected navigation as b: be able to sail 150 miles per day, the distance which they could travel in a three-years cruise must have been considerable. Their great success was in voyages after silver and gold, and as the mines of Spain and Eng land could not possibly yield the large supply which they constantly ex-ibited. we can easily infer that another and a more pro4Ao land had been discovered, whose exist ance they were unwilling to~ disclose, lest its treasures should be utilized by their neighborg. It is well known they made their ordinary drinking-vessels, and even the anch ors of their ships from silver, and this further proves that they had more extensive mines than those which existed in Spain and Afrii Hef-te r'e h osblt ca.ee ad mrnrshvn He further proved the possibility of +hema hardy mariners having reached the American coast, from the fact that various instances of sea-faring men having been carried by the currents and deposited on islands in the Pacific Ocean, exis ted. We are also led to believe that the Old World contributed the inhabitants of the western hemis phere,from the fact that there is a striking similarity between the Asi atic and the American aborigines. The Southern portion of Asia thickly populated by an industrious people, while the north is overrun by sav age hordes who live in a nomadic life, which would indicate inimigra tion prevailed in that section; and, as the distance to the northern shores of the American continent is but short, it is clear that,the ex odus was in that direction. The inhabitants of the same degrees of latitude in both continents have the same customs and manners, and are consequently of the same extrac tion. A Kansas paper gives the follow ing report of a judge's sentence, lately passed on a criminal: "Brum ley, you infamous scoundrel! You're an unredeemed villian! You hain't a single redeeming trait in your character. Your wife and family wish we had sent you to the peni tentiary. This is the fifth time I've had you before me, 'and you have put me to more trouble than your neck is worth. rve exhorted and prayed over you long enough, you scoundrel! Just go home and take a glimpse at your family, and be off in short order! Don't let's ever here of you again! The grand jury have found two other indictments against you, -but Ill discharge yon on your own recognizances, and if I ketch you in This nick.of woods to morrow morning at daylight, I'll sock you right square in jail and hump you off to Jeffersonville in less than no time, you infamous scoundrel! If ever I catch you crossing your finger at a man, wo man or child-white man or niggar -I'll sock you right .square into the jug! Stand up, you scoundrel, while 'I pass sentence on you 1" A CUTE CLERK-It is related that a dry goods merchant was ver hard on his clerks, and when a vis itor left the store without a pur chase he would discharge the clerk. He took up a position near the door, and as customers passed out would inquire if they had been properly served. On one occasion a lady was negotiating with a clerk for a shawl, but the sale was not made. The clerk called the lady's at. tention to the old gentleman, who was as usual standing near the door, waiting to waylay the lady with the customary questions. "That *old man," said the clerk, "is crazy. He may attempt to stop you as you go out and you had best avoid hiin as he is sometimes dangerous. The.]ady started.for the door, and, as the old gentleman approached her, gave a shriek and datted out. The merchant was greatly astonish ed, and, walking back to the clerk, asked, "Do you know that lady V "No sir,'' replied the clerk "but I think she is crazy" "You are right,' returned the old gentleman, "she must be crazy." A minister met a ragged lad in the streets of Jersey city, the other day, thinking to learn something ol his circumstances, and perhaps get him into Sunday School, ajso into a more decent suit of clothes, asked him: "My little fellow, where is your father ?" "Dead, long ago," was the reply. "Where is your mother ?" "She got married again and slop ed out West." "And where do you live ?" "Nowhere." "~What, have you no. one to look out for you?" "Not much, only the cops (police.) I looks out for myself." "Well, are you not very unhappy, my boy ?" "Unhappy ! Guess not. Got a hul paper of tobacker, ten cents, three bully cigar buts, and I jest know how I'm going to crawl under Barnum's circus tent ter nite, an' se the show for nothin.' Unhappy! Give me ten pence, old man, and I'll turn you a hand spring, and stand on my head and chaw toback er." The minister passed on his way with new food for reflection. It is announced as an evidence of American influence over English taste that felt hats are worn for the first time in the House of Commons. Farmers gather whbat they sow, while the seamstresses sew what they gather. . ----peaanwsot----ihm Anunpiasnt mong faiihs. an.-.Kriminn among families. ON SLANG. Rev. Dr. Hall.was sitting in his stolio one plea.sant August after noon, his4 thourhts intent upon his Sinaiv serm;on. and his mind withdrawn from earthly cares, when his train of thought was rudelv i) terrul> ted by tte following con versat ion: "Oh, Nellie, where are you you'd ought Lq have been there -just the stunningest fellow !" Then a sound of running feet, and pretty soon he heard his daugh ter exclaim: "Is that you, Maggie!" "Yes come down qu.ick, I've got something to tell you." "I'll be there in halfajiffy." Then a door opened and shut, and in a few minutes-; - "What do you think, as I was coming over here, there was just the stunningest fellow, rigbt in front of me. Just as I got oppo site the new church, my music roll slipped and every paper in it fell out on the sidewalk." "Gracious I should have been dumbfounded." "And so I was' but it was so ridiculous that I almost died a laughing." "vell, that fellow, do you think, stopped, turned round, and helped me to pick them up. I was all hunky dory, then. He walked as far as here with me, and I thank ed him, of course," etc., etc. "You know how 'tis yourself." The good doctor scratched his head. Could that be his Nellie, whom he thought so lady-like? He opened the door softly, a little crack, thinkin.g no doubt, that he had a right to play the part of a listener to so strangely mixed a con versation,aud in his own house. Very soon it was continued. this time his daughter commenced the conversation. "There, how's that for high ?' "Oh, isn't that sweet,bow mnch was it?" "Only fi v e dollars-- c h e a p enough." "Yes, indeed ; but you said you weegoing to have pink, this is blue." "Never mind, it's all the same in Dutch." The doctor peeped in to see what they were talking about-and Miss Nellie was exhibiting her new bonnet to the admiring gaze of her friend. "It's raging hot here." "Well I don't know as I canD make it any cooler," said Nellie looking round, "I 'spose father'd kill me if I opened the door." Her father had reqiusted her th.e day before to keep the door closed. "I guess it's time for me to ab squatu late," said Maggie, rising. "Don't tear yourself away. Are you going to the lecture to. night ?" "Yes, I had a staving old time last Tuesdlay night." "George Saunders said he should go home with you to-night." "Did be ? He'd. better spell able first." "That's so. I[f there is anything I hate 'Lis the boys bothering round; they ought to be put into a barrel and fed thi-&ugh the bung-hole, until they are old enough to behave." "I must bid you a fond adieu, now. I've got thousands of er rands to do." "Well, good-by." "Oh, the Dickens, I've left my parasol." "Here it is." "Now, good-by, be sure and come to-night." "Yes, good-by." Then the door closed and Nel!ie went upstairs. The doctor was surprised, but not too much so not to think of a plan that would cure tbe unfQr tunate habit i n t o -which his daugiter had fallen. The plan was discussed with the young la dy's mother and adopted. The time for tea had arrived, and when all were fairly seated at the table, Mrs. Hall said, "my dear, sir, will you have some tea ?". "In half a jiffy, madam." Nellie looked up, but her father took no notice. "Really this cake is quite stun ning, " went on the doctor, as sol emnn as a judge. Just then his napkin fell to the floor. "Gracious, I'm condumb founded ?" ejaculated the doctor, getting it a little wrong. Nellie gazed at her father in perfect amazement. "My dear, this sauce ie staving. Where did you buy it ?" "I made it," said his wife cool ly. "Oh, well,it's all the same in Ger -man." Nellie dropped her knife and fod -Yo fork.v e om m unn mnat give me some mon - ey for the. butcher, to-morrow,"' said Mrs. Hall. "You'll have to spell 'ability' first," growled the doctor, savage ly. Then suddenly taking out his hardkerchief, he gave his nose a tremendous blow. "There," said he, "ow's that for high ?" " know bow 'tis myself," meek ly replied his wife. This capped the climax. The knowledge that her father must have beard the afternoon conversation was too much for Nelfie. She burst into tears, and left the room. The sagc doctor nodded wisely to his ivife, and, when she got out of hearing, exciaimed, "there, wife, I guess we shall hear no more slang phrases from her." The doctor was right, for Nellie was cured. [Central Christian Advocate. ADVICE TO WOMEN. Don't marry any man over for ty. He bristles with habits as English.young ladies do with ap gles. Don't.marry the lively man. Don't marry a man who stops your mouth with compliments, makes desperate love to you the first time he "sees you and talks about kissing. That man thinks women are fools; but he is mistaken. Don't marry a man who tells wonderful stories of which he is always the hero, and in which he always distinguishes himself by extraordinnry wit, or sagacity, or courage,.or presence. of mind these qualities not being as a rule, conspicuous in him., Don't marry - a man who has a great many sisters. Such a;man is always spoiled; beide'whichiit is not pleaisaik t67b engaged to a man who knows all about your false hair, and.-hcw. much your dress cost a yard; No wdman can ever be an ideal divinity-to a man who has a whole squadron of sis ters. Don't marry a man who says every woman ought to knowe hew to cook. Don't marry a man who keeps bull dogs. He is sure to be like them. Don't marry a man whom no body ever says any e zil of. Be sure that he is a poor creatui-e. Don't marry a man who in invents things. Invention is the offspring of necessity. Don't marry a -good-natured man. Good-nature is to a -man what the gilt leaf naughty boys sometimes ad'orn a sparrow with is to-that unhappy bird. All the other sparrows get round him and peck at himi. Not long since a very nervous lady took passage at the Tip-Top House to descend by the almost perpendicular railroad. Her fears were apparent to every one, and the following unique dialogue took place between her and the. conduc tor: Lady-"Mr. Conductor, how do you hold these cars when you want to make a stop?" Conductor-"Madamn we apply the brake, which you see-there." Lady-"Suppose, Mfr. Conductor, that brake should give way, what do you do then?" Conductor--"Madam we then ap ply the- double acting brake, which you see at the other end of the cars. Lady-"But, Mr. Conductor, sup pose that brake should not be sudi cient to check the cars, where will we go to then !" Conductor-"Madam, I can't de cide. That depends entirely upon how you have lived in this gorld. If you don't owe the printef any thing there is no-dafier." A wide-awake minister, who found his congregation going to sleep be fore he had fairly commenced, sud denly stopped and exclaimed: "Brethren, this isn't fair. Wait till I get along, and then if I ain't worth listening to, go to sleep ; but dont before I commence-give a man a chance." A Frenchman being about to. modve his shop, his landlord enquir ed the reason, stating at the same time that it was considered a good stand for business. The French man replied; "yes, he's a verygood stand for te business. Me stand all day ; nob6dy'co'me to make me move." When Arthur was a very small boy his mother reprimanded him one day for some misdemeanor. Not knowing it his father began to talk to him on the same sub ject. Looking up. into his' face, Arthur said solemnly, "My mother as 'tended to me." ADVERTISIN-C RATESS Advertisements inserted at the rade of $1LO0 per square-one inch-for first inwrdtoD, and 75e. for each subsequentlnrikw-- -Double column advertis~ements tenper cent on above. advertisements. s~aea SpeceW notike& in Iocal colamn 20 cents per line. Ad4ica'a't IsOt mark9d w th the mum' ber o,41etau Vwill be Iept Z&_ till forbid Sp~cTalc~treta gdeadver MR. J06:,%EW4 *N-,P4LT TEIL -BIUIY VONPL;USS A'young, xnan,' WhOM -we mw call Billy Jones,OQ' co * be 9e~A the -post-officei 4w4s~o boasti ngc to acr owd: ~ eds of the soul-iniifing. letter hi~ch he %roald stion,r 0 0.iveJlom his Dalciea.- TIeiaibdistri bn ted, Mr. Jones- htirriedly -un.la&ed h is bo6x, a nd Whelej befG4*-"F to his heart, 4gh-ws "I L for, white-win'ged mesae-_ger,,ar ina the well-kownpk, is pusctual eorrespoade&LDe_ 9n to show 'the prod aefioit~e prlific itu ginait6 i'to-a" Oop1e of his~ intidiite V7'A-imt down -on the stW* - ie post-office a'ud brok tr open. Hisbe Plai.nly-","sh6*ed;-tAl46dtln was not e kicty'rigE?t dt in~ig it up, IiL g;avejt ',,oem panions to_reAd.---..,h"o*)WWR0f fot ^1wing Copy A- DARIaING B.ve letter evor pen"oJr to a m3on"sM.0"k.y. 1 ~I to contingLe. o"--nfiliw--. 4Ln w.hile. yU Stre JPs it7 -but-- hi3 7nonten"is -Onsvra head when a lady, on being asked what she thought was the mean ;,~, nf the words. "Tb& pestilence