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hel. I. rr, 5 VoL I ENSAY MOR ,NING, FEBRUARY 12, 1873.No. HEH E.RALD EYERY WEDNESDAY MORNING, - Atewherry C. H., BTH, F. GRENEKER, Editor and Proprietor. Ternas, $2.50 per Jhsumu, Invariably in Advance. no-Ttwgpe Is stopped at the expiration of t ime for w kit13id. 07 The X mark denotes expiration of sub scription. Coueges a"d efcademsie. Williamston Female College, IUMLIN ON, ANDMISO CJon S. 0. The Spring &sion Opens Febru y 3d, 1873. Rates per Session of 2) weeks, iN ADVANCE. Board, excluding washing and lights,870.00 Regular Tuition, 'icluding Latin, Greek, and Vocal Music.. 10.00 to 25.00 Instrumental Music............. 20.00 Wil&stin is a quiet, up-country village, near e -=ientains, on the Greenville and (7t6ndfin Rai road, 78-miles from Newber ry. The Institution is non-sectarian, de. pending for its support upon its own mer its, and earnestly laboring to elevate the standard of Female Education. The Annual Vacation occurs in the win ter, so that pupils have the benefit of a summer residence near the Celebrated Wffliamst= Chalybeate Spring, thus improving their heaLth while prosecu ting their studies. ine-i willleave Columbia on Satur y iorning. Feb. 1, to escort to William ston any pupils who may meet me either there or on the way. For a Catalogue, address REV. SAMUEL LANDER, A. M., Jau. 1, 1-2tu. President. Tbe, z Due West Female .Collegel we This is, as to its present organization, the Other! oldest Female College in the State. An able and experienced Teacher of Mu. - sie and the Modern Lnguages, has recent. lv been added to the Faculty, in the person of Dr. Henry Anisansei, of Geneva, Swit. zerland. The advantages are equal to the best and the expenses as reasonable as those of any good institution. Over one hundred (100) pupils are now present. There is room for a few more. Appy at once to J. I. BONNER, Pres., Due West, Abbeville Co., S. C. Jan. 29, 4-1m. NEWIBRRY EALE ,. P. PIFEB,M. A., : : Principsi Xiss 7AENIE LEAVELL, :: Aui*t* Prof. . WEBBER, : : Musical Dep't T HE Exercises of the above School will be resumed on TUESDAY, 7th JANUARY, Tuition from $12.50 to $22.50 per Session. Paid in advance or satisfactorily secured. PuspBs.will be charged from date of en +trance-to the end of the Session. N o re. duct.ion except in cases of protracted ill. ness. Plain, substantial boarding can be ob tained with the Principal at $15 per month. For particnlars, &c., npply to S. P. BOOZER, Esq., Sec. B'd. COL. S. FAIR, Pres't. Jan. 1, 1--tf. DrNgs. GERMAN Invaluable in Teething, and Summer Corn plaints of Children. Cures DIARRH(E , DYSENTERY, COLIC And other Diseases, incident to the perios of Den tition. Unlike the "Soothing Syrups," now -s widely used, this CORDIAL contains NO ANODYNE, Or other injurioue Drug. It is egmnposed o the very best materials, and ihould be -found in every Nursery. The best physi ci ans recommend it. MANUFACTURED BY Drs H. BAER, CHARLESTON, S. C gf*For sale by MOTTE & TARRAN'I Newberry, S. C. May :5, 1S-tf. grudertaking~. C. M. HARRIS, Cabinet Maker &Undertaker Has on hand and will make to order, Bei steaids, Bureaus, Wardrobes, Safes, Sofan Settees, Lounges, &c. Cabinet Work of all kinds made and i paired on liberal terms. Has on hand'a full snpply of Metalic, Mt hoga1ny and Rosewood Burial Cases. Comais maede to order at short notice, an Oct s40 p f. M1ARTIN HARRIS. Fisks Mellic Budal CaSei THE SUBSCRIBER has constantly c hand a full assortment of the above approve cases, of different patterns, besides coffir of his own make, all of which he is prepare to furnish at very reasonable rates, wit promptness aad despatch. Persons desirous of having cases sent t: railroad will have them sent free of charg A Hearse is always on hand and will I furnished at the rate of $10 per day. Thankful for past patronage, the su -scriber respectfully asks for a continuati of the same, and assures the public th no effort on his part will be sparr ' to rend the utmost satisfaction. A. C. CBldMAN Newberry S. C., July Si. Music Given Away. We will order "Pzvas' MrIt.L Mos-r L.r" to be sent for one year to any one wl will set,d us live subscribers to our pape Think of it! . You can get at least Six Beautiful Songs. Duets, and Choruses, at from fifty to sixty Piano pieces, wor.h least S40, by sending uifivc subscribe s our pper.Feb. 5, 5-tf. A CHINESE SONG. He saw in sight of hii house, At dusk, as stories tell, A woman picking mulberries, And he liked her looks right well. He struggled out of his chair, And began to t>eckon and call; But the went on picking mulberries, Nor looked at him at al. "If Famine should follow you. He would find the harvest in; You think yourself and your njulberries Too good for a Mandaria ! I bave yellow gold in my sleeve." But she answered, sharp and bold "Be off! Let me pick my mulberries, I am bought w1th no mnan's gold." She scratched his face with her naiis, Till lie turned and lied foi life; For the lady picking mulberries Was his true and virtuous wii: -From The Aldine fur January. THE FRONTIER WEDDING. BY THE MINISTER'S WIFE. One day in early winter, my husband rec.eived a summons to Burke's settlement to unite a cou ple in the bonds of wedlock. It was especially requested that his wife should accompany him, as we should be expected to remain all night and partake of the festivi ties. It was twenty miles to the set tlement, and we reached the log house of Mr. Burke, the father of the expectant bride, about noon. A dozen tow-haired children were at the door waiting our arrival. They telegraphed the news in stantly. "Marm! marm! here's the el der and his*woman ! They're no thing but folks ! She's got a man's hat on and aturkey's wing in front of it; his nose is just like dad's, crooked as a cowhorn squash !" Alas for Mr. Morrison's aquiline nose, of which he was a little vaiV. "Sam !" cried a shrill female voice from the interior of the cab in, "run out and grab the rooster, and I'll clap him into the pot. Sal, you quit that churn and sweep the floor. Kick that corn-dodger under the bed. Bill, you wipe that cheer for the minister's wife, and be spry about it." Further remarks were cut short by our entrance. Mrs. Burke, in calhco short gown, blue petticoat and bare feet, came forward, wiping her face on her apron. "How 'do you do, elder ? How d'ye do, marmi? Must excuse my head, hain't had no chance to comb it since last week. Work must be did, you know. Power. ful sharp air, hain't it ? Shoo, there ! Bill drive that turkey out of the bread tray. Sal, take the lady's things. Set right up to the fire, marm. Hands cold ? Well, just run 'em through Bill's hair keep it long a purpose." Bill presented his shaggy hair but .I declined with an involuntary shudder. "Laws, if she ain't actually shivering," cried Mrs. Burke. "Bring in some more wood. Here marm, take this corn-dodger int< your lap-it's as good as a soap stone." A fearful squall announced thb execution of the rooster, and short ly afterward he was bouncing about in a four-quart kettle hunt over the fire. Sal returned to he: .churn, but the extraordinary visi tor must have made her catreless for she upset the concern, and but -ter and buttermilk went swim mini over the fioor. I"Grab the ladle, Bill," cried Mrs Burke, "and help dip it up. Tak 'keer, don't put that snarl of hai Sjin. Strange bow folks will be s~ nasty ! Dick, do you keep you feet out of the buttermilk. 1 won't be fit for the pigs when th butter's gathered. Drive that bei out quick, she's picked up a poun "'of butter already. There, Sal, d Itry and churn a little more keer fl. If you're gwine to be splicei to-morrow, you needn't run eraz: about it." "I avise you to dry up !" re marked the bride elect, thumping awy at the churn. By the time I got fairly warnm ed dinner was ready, and you ma; 'be sure I did not injure myself b; ome eating. Night came on early, and after a social ehat about the events of to-morrow I signified my desire to retire. Sal lighted a pitch knot and climbed a ladder in one corner of' the room. I hesitated. "Come on," said she, "don't be afraid. Sam, and Bill, and Dick, and all the rest of ye, duck your heads while the elder's wife goes up. Look out for the loose boards, marm : and mind or you'll smash your brains out against that beam. Take kcer of the hole where the chimney comes through." Her warning came too late. I caught my foot in the end of a board, stumbled and fell headlong through what seemed intermina ble space, but it was only to the room I had jnst left, where 1 was I saved from destruction by Bill, who caught me in his arms and set me on my feet, remarking colly: "What made you come through that way ? We generally use the ladder." 1 was duly conmisserated, and at last got to bed. The loss said about that night the better. Bill and Dick and the others slept in the same room iiith us, and made the air vocal with their snoring. I fell asleep and dreamed I was just being shot from the muzzle of a Columbiad, and was awakened by Mr. Morrison, who informed me that it was morning. The marriage was to take place before breakfast, and Sally was al ready clad in her bridal robes when I descended the ladder. She was magnificont in a green calico over a crinoline full four inches longer than the rest of her apparel, a white apron with red strings, blue stockings, a yellow ribbon, and white cotton gloves. Her reddish hair was fastened in a plug behind, and well adorned with the tail feathers of the de funct rooster before mentioned. When it was announced that Lemuel Lord, the groom, was com ing, Sally dived behind a coverlet, which hung across one corner of the room to conceal sundry pots and kettles, and refused to come forth. Mr. Lord lifted the corner of the curtain and peeped in, but quickly retreated with a stew pan and a few words from Sally, ad vising him to mind his own busi ness. Lemuel was dressed in blue with bright buttons. The entire suit had been made for his grand father on a similar occasion. His hair was well greased with tallow, and his huge feet encased in skin pumps. Very soon the company began to gather, and the room was well filled. "N ow, elder," cried the groom, "drive ahead! I want it done up nice ; I'm ab)le to pay for the job;| do you hear ! Conme, Father Burke, trot out your- gal !" But Sally r-efuised to be trotted. She would be married where she was, or not at all. We urged and coaxed, but she was firm, and it was finally concluded to let her have her own way. Mr. Morrison stood ; the happy couple joined hands through a rent in the coverlet, and the ceremony proceeded. Just as Mr. Morrison was asking Lemuel, "Will you have this woman," etc., down came thbe coverlet, enveloping bidegroomn and pastor-, and filling the house with dust. Dick had been up in the loft and cut the strngrs which held it. Mr. Morri son crawled out, looking sheepish, -and Sally was obliged to be mar ried openly. To the momentous question, Lemuel responded, "To be sure, what else did I come here for ?" ad Sally replied, "Yeas, if ou must know." Salute your bride," said Mr. Morison, when all was over-. "I'm r-eady to do anything, ci der, said Lemuel, "but skin me if I know about that,sir. Just show me how, and I'll do it if it kills me" -, My husband drew back, but Sal ly advanced, threw her arms a round his neck and gave him a -kiss that made the very windows latter. crie vm, if 1 don't do ditto!" e Lea ,muel, and hastily takinir i huge bite from a piece of maple ,tgar whieb he drew f.rm his pocket, he made a dash at me, broke my watch-guard into a doz 1n pieces, tore my hair down. and ucceeded in planting a kiss upon ny nose. greatly to the delight of; .he company. Then he turned to my husband: "Now, Elder, what is the dam ige? Don't be afraid to speak." "Whatever you please," said Mr. Vorrison. Lemuel produced a piece of fur. "There, Elder," said be, "there's i piece of muskrat skin ; and out Lere in the shed is two heads of 1 abbage, and you're welcome to be hull of it." My husbaud bowed his thanks, Uld the young people went to lancing, Mrs. Burke went to get ing breakfast, and at my request, Ar. Morrison got our horse and n e bade them all adieu. I never ould have lived through another meal in that house. I have since heard that Mr. Lord said if he had seen the El ler's wife before she was married, Sally might have gone to the li elkens. "Alas, it might have been ! ANOWTHERII HEATHEN (II NEE. HOW HE GOES AFTER A DIANA GAME ANDI WINS ALL 11s BETS. In Chinatown, Virginia City, there is a Diava game which is liberally patronized by the Celes tials. A man who happens to bet on the card about to be turned wins forty for one. There is a Chinaman who bets at the game who is looked upon with dread by the owner of it. Within the last ten days he has won over $1,600, and his luck or prescience, what ever it be, seems never to desert him. A few nights ago the Chi naman packed off over $400 which he had won from the game. The proprietor says the China man comes in every evening, and will stand aloof from all others for the space of five minutes or so, when he will walk up to the table and bet, say, on the nine f dia monds, and on the square surround ing that card, and also on the three other nines. The deal goes on and up comes the nine of dia monds. On that card the win ner is paid forty for one; on the square he gets two for one. and on each of the other nines he receives ten for one. This was the. tirst bet made by the Chinaman on Trues dy eveniug. After receiving his wvinings lie retired to one side and communed with himself for the space of five or six minutes, when he again approached the ta ble and bet his money on the eight of hearts and in the square, and on all the other eight spots. The next card turned was the identical eight of hearts, making him a winner as before. On his money being counted out, he re counts it, piece by piece, with the utmost coolnetss, and again steps to one side. After the usual lapse of time lie again approaches the table, this time betting on the deuce of' slubs, which wins. like his othier two bets. Retiring as before, he appears to be absorbed in mental calculation. Approach ing the table for the fourth time, ue places his money on the six of spades, and on all the other siXes and on the square. Again he hits upon the winning card, and re ceives his winnings with the same stolid look of indifference. By this he is pretty well loaded down with coin, a certain percentage of silver being paid him, and he re tires for the night. The Chinaman has been betting with this same run of luck, or whatever -it may be called, for about two weeks. He has not won every bet he has made in the meantime, but he has not lost $75 Iin all this time, while he has won, as previously stated, over $1,600. IThe owner of the game is begin ning to entertain a superstitious dread of this silent and methodi cal Chinaman, anct has purchased a new box and new cards to be dealt. He says if the Chinaman keeps on winning as be has start ed in, he will break the bank,. but e will not debar him from play ing ayway THE LATEST DISCOVERY IN FOOD---TIIE SAVORY PEA NUT IN T H E F OR M OF BREAD. African peanut flour is the latest discovered article of food. So we are kindly informed by the press, but the information is shockingly incomplete and rouses in us a desire to know more about the matter. Who discovered it, or why it was discovered, or whether the product is worth the discovery, now that it is discovered, are points upon which the world needs enlighteument. Did some phil osopher, ruminating the savory but unsatisfAtory esculent, con clude that a more thorough grind ing than that given by dental formation would develop prop. erties as yet unknown by the pea n ut-eatiigpubliC? Was itthought that our sources of food-supply arc so scanty that the accession of a nw material was necessary? Or, lastly, did he imagine that his name, connected with peanut flour, would be handed down to a grateful posterity. and that future genera tion would bless the inventor of peanut bread or flapjacks ? Tt might be suggested that the world has managed to drag out a tolerable existence for several centuries, content with peanuts "aa iturel" or peanuts simply baked with their jackets on ; but such suggestions argue a mind narrow and u naccustomed to grope with subjects seemingly insignifi cant, but in reality vital, or victual importance. To paraphrase an ancient axiom, he is a benefactor to his species who causes two pea nuts to grow where but one grew before, and surely he who teaches us to respect the hitherto unknown capacities of the democratic ground nut has really added something to life and itsjoys. But why African? we would ask. Ara the "gouber peas" of Virginia and North Car olina to be despised? Are our native products to be ignored in favor of this foreign article, whose only claim to superiority is the dis tance from which it is brougnt? Are the banks of the Congo to flout it over the shores of the Pedee ? The native heathen African roots riot from his soil more delicate legumninous specimens than does his more enlightened and entirely infranchisedl brother of our South ern States. The p)eanut is inseparably con nected with the drama, and the urchin who calmly cracks the crispy shell in the gallery amid the dying struggles of a Richard or the agonies ofaLear reeks not as he munches the toothsome kernel what shore nurtured his favorite viend. We do not hear the curious in peanuts insist upon being sup plied with the foreign rather than the domestic product; it appears all one to them, and we would wager that if the novel flour comes into general use our own proud land will r.ot be found behind hand in either quality or quantity. What effect will be produced upon the price of the raw material re mains to be seen, and the attitude of the large and distinguished body of roasters and proprietors of stands is vet to be learned. The matter affects, through them, the whole juvenile portion of the corn. Imunmty, and the manner- in which they will regard it will be anxious ls awaited.-Provtidence Her aid. Another illustration of Darwinism was recently furnished in the case of two newly arrived monkeys from China, which were lodged in a San Francisco bar-room., one of them being kept in a cage and the other left at liberty. Du ring the night the latter homuncu1us first consider ately handed a bottle of rumn to his imprisoned brother, who thereupon became comiatosely intoxicaLd, and pro ceeded to get frightfully drunk and disor decrly himself, breaking decanters and "lasses, throwing an empty bottle at the head of the bar-keeper on that official's entrance, and otherwise comporting hio self as his master remarked, "for all the world just like a Christian." The latest internal revenue reports sho0w that two hundred and sixty-nine distilleries are in operation in the United States, with a producing capacity of 539,. 688 gallons daily. An equitable distri bution of this product would give about three drinks a day to each of the voters nf the country. BARNUM'S GORILLA. A TOUCHING TRIBUTE To HIS MEM oRY. It is seldom that we are called upon to note a more painful fact than that which we now record, and which is nothing more or less than the rumored death of Bar num's gorilla, who is supposed to have perished in the flames of the museum recently consumed. The news of his untimaely and frightful end will cause a feelintr of heart felt agony to thrill the bosoms of his many friends throughout the country, who witnessed his play ful antics in his cage wherever Barrnum went on his last summer's tour. or enjoyed his society at a beer saloon when the labors of the day and evening's exhibitions were ended. The deceased gorilla was a young man of exemplary habits, and by his versatile industry sup ported an aged father and mother in Jersey City, who can hardly bear their present loss. His origi. nial name was Briggs, and he was of Yankee, not Celtic origin, as has been erronously stated. Mr. Barnum became acquainted with young Briggs many years ago, and keen observer of human na ture as he is, he soon saw that the boy possessed talents which would, if rightly applied, bring him into public notice. Mr. Barnum first employed Briggs as a mermaid, but his nervous sanguineous tem perament unfitted him for wearing a wig and codfish skin, and he was shortly after promoted to the position of wild man. In this he achieved no success, and it was not until Barnum put his great traveling show on the road in 1872, and gave Briggs the position of gorilla, that he developed those excentricities that have made him famous. For two years no better specimen of the gorilla tribe has been seen on this continent. Though naturally convivial and social in his tast6s, he has sat in his cage an object of wonder and admiration to thousands, and sub mitted to being stirred up with a long pole for the benefit of coun try clergymen, who stood by ex plaining to their youthful Sab bath-school scholars how fearfully and wvonderfuliv we are made. No murmur of discontent ever escap ed his lips, except at Terre Haute, Ind., last July, when he was heard to remark he'd "be d-d if he could stand it much longer wear ing a hair overcoat in hot weather on a salary of $10 a week." His salary was at once elevated to $12.50 a week, and he was allowed ice in his den thereafter, and no better behaved specimen of his tribe was ever placed on exhibi tion. Mr. Barnum, we are informed, with characteristic energy, has telegraphed to Africa for other specimens of rare wild beasts, to supply the place of those destroy. ed by the late conflagration. He may procure elephants, lions, ti gers and cockatoos, but he ca never fill the place of Gorilla Briggs. Not even Dr. Living stone, with all his expcerience in African jungles, can capture so fine a specimen, one who could caper so nimbly around his seven by nine cage, and dance to the lascivious tieklings of his keepers club with such patience. Gorilla adieu ! an d may the j hairy, four legged Phoenix who arises frorn your ashes possess your noblb qualities of mind and heart, ant give entire satisfaction to a de luded public for the usual price o haf a dollar.-St Louis Denocrat A little girl, daughter of a clergyman being left one day to "tend door" an< obeying a summons of the bell, found gentleman on the step who wished t< see her father. "Father isn't in,' sai( she, "but if it's anything about you: soul I can attend to you. I know the whole plan of salvation." Two men exert themselves to no pur pose-one is the man who tries to havy the last word with his wiC ; and thi other is he who, having the last word tries to make her confess that she is ir the wrong. Neither great poverty nor grea: rhes will har rasnn SENSIBLE LADIES. Tbi:,iv members'of the Fi-st Baptist Chureb, in Nashville, have agreed that they will dispense with all finery on Sunday-wear ing no jewels but consistencv. and hereafter appear at church in plain I calico dresses. This is certainly a very sensible I move, and the ladies of the first Bap>tist Church are en -titled to great credit For being the fir!t t( 1e.d off in this much need ed refoirm. This is a natter which hias attracted considerable attention of late, and in many cities prormiient ladies are taking the Sam11e sensibie view of the question of dress :ts that held by the Nash villI ladies reterred to. who. in carry ing in to efect this good reso- I lution, xill receive the hearty sup. port and endorsement of all whose good opinion is worth anything. With reference to a similar resolution on the part of the young ladies of a certain school, the New York Tri-tnes.iys: "Honor to the young ladies of Portland (Me.) High School! The first class girls (first class in every sense) have resolved to dress plain ly and to dispense with dress parade on examination day. If they indulge in jewelry it will be to a very limited extent. Lace they have entirely abandoned. But we have something to tell of them even better than this. Tery have solemnly determined to refrain, upon all occasions and under the severest temptations, from the use of slang phrases and expressions. We shouldn't won. der if the marriageable youths of the United States kepta special eye on that remarkable school." HOW TO AVOID CONTAGION IN S31ALL POX. 1. Onthe first appearance of the dis ease, the patient should be placed in a seperate apartment, as near the top of the hoise as possible, from which curtains. carpets, bed-hangings and other needless articles of furniture should be removed, I and no person except the medical atten (htnt and the nurse or mother be per. mitted to enter the room. 2. A basin containing a solution of chloride of lime, or carbolic acid. should be placed near the bed for the patient to spit in. 3. Handkerchiefs not to be used, but pieces of rag employed instead, for wip ling the nose of the patient. Each piece, after being used, should be immediately burned. 4. A plentiful supply of water and towels should be kept for the use of the nurse, whose hands, of necessity, will be soiled by the secretions of the patient. In one hand basin the water should be 1impregnated with Candy's fluid of chlo ride, by which the taint on the hands may be at once removed. 5. Outside the door of the sick room, a sheet should be suspeinded, sn as to Icover the entire doorway; this should be kept constantly wet with a solution of chloride of lime. The effect of this will be to keep every other part of the house free from infection. 6. The discharges of the bowels and kidneys of the patient should be received into a vessel charged with disinfectants, such as the solution of carbolic or chlo ride of lime, and immediately removed. By these means, the poison thrown ofi from internal surfaces may be rendered inert, and deprived of the power of propagating disease. 7. The thin skin of cuticle which peels off' from the hands, face, and oth er parts of the body in convalescent patients, is highly contagious. Baths should be continued every day for four times, when the disinfectation of the skin may be regarded as complete. This, however, should not be done without first consulting the medical attendant. Samuel and Sarah Hall, of Grafton, Mass., celebrated the sixtieth a-miversa ry of their wedding a few days ago. They are each eighty-six years old, and have twelve children, whose Christian names, like their own, all begin with S, the name of the youngest being SufEcist. A Kentucky man who had an arm shot Ioff during the late war has since then had Shis leg broken by a fall from a horse, his remaining hand "chawed up" by a thresh I ing machine, one of his eyes put out by r running against a fence rail, and half his ribs caved in by the kick of a mule. A German resident of Davenport, after several years experiment, has succeeded in manufacturing sugar from corn, which is said to grade with the "coffee A," and can be made at a cost of four cents a 1pound. The dearest object to a man b Bhould be his wife, but it is not unfreqnantly he clothe. ADVERTISINC RATES. Advertisements inserted at the rate of $1.00 Jer square--one inch-forfirst insertion, and i>c. for each subsequent insertion. Double :utu mn advertisements ten per cent o.. above. Notices of meetings,obitwaries and tributes >f respect, same rates per square as ordinary idvertiements. Special notices in local column 20 cents >er line. Advertisements not marked with the num )er of insertions will be kept in till forbid and charged accordingly. Special contracts made with large adver isers, with liberal deductious on above rates CIoB PftI"I.M Done with Neatness and Dispatch. Terms Cash. FIOW A MAN GOT TO BE HIS OWN GRAND-FATHER. Bob went to Utah, married, got >adly mixed, and became his own crandfather. Enter Sam. "IW hat's the matter, Bob ?" "Sam, wbo am I?" "Why, you are yourself, Bob liarrison, ain't you ?" "No. far from it." "Why, w hat's the matter?" "Wll, sir, I'm so mixed upl ; 1 lun't know who I am." "Don't take it so hard to heart.' 'I ain't. I am taking it on the ialf shell." "Well, sir, what's the matter? Well. I'm n married." "Married ? ha ! ha! ha ? why, sir, "OU should be happy." "Yes. but I ait't." "Why, all married men are sup )osed to be happy." "Yes, but are many so ?" "Well, sir, as I said before, don't ake it so hard ; tell us all about it." "Well. Sam. Ilil tell you how it s.-You see I married a widder, ind this widder had a daughter." "Oh, yes! 1 see how it is. You aave been making love to this laughter." "No, worse than that. You see, my father was a widower and married this daughter, so that makes my father my son-in-law, lon't it ? Well don't you see how I am mixed up !" "Well. sir, is that all ?" "No I only wish it was. Don'o you see, my step-daughter is my step-mother, ain't she ? Well, then, her mother is my grand mother, ain't she ? Well, I am married to her, ain't I? So that makes me my own grandfather doesn't it ?'' HALF A II1,MON EMGcxxx-rs SEEKING HOMES IN AMERIcA.-The German Emi gration Association of this city have re ceived further advices from the home or ganization relative to the movement of the German farmers and mechanics to emigrate to this country. The home * organization, to effect this purpose, is said now number 82,000, and it is pro. posed to form a union with the National Agricultural Laborors' Union of London. The latter association having a member ship of 200,000, it is contemplated, when the season opens, to send at least half a million of German and English farmers and mechanics to various points in the New World, but mostly to the United States. Both of these associations have for their principal o'tect the relief of the present overcrowded labor market, and the Germ.an organization has a paid up capital of three thousand pounds to car ry out their plans. It is proposed among other things, to urge legislation by the American Congress for the better pro tection of emigrants. A commission will leave Bremen in the middle of Jan uary for the purpose of purchasing land for large colonies who contemplate emi grating in the Spring, also to make re ports upon the particular section of the United States, both for climate and soil, which is best adapted to Germans. Washington Star. THE FUTURE OF LoUlsIANA SU GAR Pr.LA-r10oS.-The New Or leans Picayune asks; What will be the condition of the sugar plantations of this State in 1880? Large numbers of them now belong to New Orleans mer chants and bankers. Do they in tend to run them, or let them grow up in weeds and bushes ? Numerous plantations are mort gaged to New Orleans capitalist. By a law of this State, passed in 18C>9 or 1870, plantations or lands mortgaged to secure loans or advances made since the pas sage of the law, when the mort gages are foreclosed, have to be surveyed and sold in lote. Mort gagees cannot come in possession of the whole plantation as former ly- The law will, doubtless, in many instances embarrass the mortgagee, and give the mort gagor longer possession than he would have otherwise had. If one may credit the Chicago Tri bune, the snow on the line of the Wino na St. Peter Railroad, on Saturday last, was deep. It says the track.clearers in several places encountered drifts so high that they stepped over the tops of tI:e telegraph poles easily. A family of four German emi grants recently started from New York for a town in Kansas, and all but one, a boy of eleven y ears of a. died on tha~ way.