The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, March 05, 1913, Image 6
Will not blow out or
thumb screws, so ths
detached. Throws a
Extra large red danger
It is equipped with handl
good hand lantern. Strong
At Deale
STANDARE
i (Incorporat
Newark, N. J.
If You Have t
i Advertise in
I *
i????????? i
. ?
|| SEE
For the Gardener, Truck
. ii?" ready to fill orders for a
seeds. WE SELL SEEE
grow, eat and sell vegefe
cost of living. While in
You will be pleased wit]
* -* J 11 ?
garaen seeas we sen iur
Seed Irish P(
eties. Special price to s
for 25c in coin or stamps
generous package, each
garden seeds: Cabbagi
cucumber and mustard.
tORICK & U
SEE
COLUMBIA,
jpTH
1730 MAIN STRE1
'{"f Ib where you can fin<
^ PAI
i p OP A]
DOORS, S
BLINI
| t.tmfi an
| cabinet
|| Call or write for Prices
i
atosT proof
; /r. GUARANTEED TO 1
iff ' FROM THE ORIGINAL I
; 7 i Two"
Established 1868. Paid
' We grew the first ntOSTHHOOFPUU
fied customers. We have ro*? sad sold mot
Stat*? c?*blae<l. WHIT Because our plants mi
:i It is time to set these plants in your section to
j sell for the most money. WE SOW THREE
Earn Yonr PicMs for a Slight
Postage Paid 30 cents per 100 plants. By exj
special rate Is very low, 500 for $1.00; 1.000
thousand; 10,000 and over 01.00 per tbousu
' # ,WM.C.6ERATY,CO? B
HgMpppNnB
H^Forthe
^ Rn?d
TO DRIVING LAMP
nost compact and efficient
:e for all kinds of vehicles.
' jar out. Equipped with
at it is easily attached or
clear light 200 feet ahead.
signal in back,
e, and when detached makes a
;. Durable. Will last for years.
rs Everywhere
) OIL COMPANY
wd m Njw Jersey)
Baltimr s. Md.
Inytiiingfo sen
The Dispatch.
? t
:D&!
~ = ET7
er and Farmer. We are now
11 kinds of field and garden
>S THAT GROW, therefore
ibles and reduce the high
i Columbia visit our store,
h the qnantity of reliable
the money.
iIaIaaa We offer the
lTOTalOC" nticDDinn "PoH
naiuoo bp ^
sack buyers. Special offer:
5 we will mail, postpaid, a
i of the following reliable
5, Tomato, Radish, Beets,
iwance, Inc.
DMEN.
SOUTH CAROLINA.
j
WN & BRQ?
ET, COLUMBIA, S. C.
1 one of th6 best stocks of ilj
INTS^
uL KINDS |
i ? j'k
>S& GLASS
D CEMENT. |
MANTLES.
!
CABBAGE PLANTS *
SATISFY CUSTOMERS 1\
MBBMS rUNI CKOWBtS ||
erorasfirox " AOCCSTAtaljcixs* ~~ ?BOH?
" FLVTDCTCB / /
ftallMdVaii^ . Cua&ioetrM*. ,^gatt^ LtuOy J
^COP-o--^ j
in Capital Stock $3Q,000.00 4m^jy
HTSlnlSSS. Now have over twenty thousand satis'
eabbag plants thao *11 oth^r prrtoni la thr Southern
ut please or we send your money back. Order now.
get extra early cabbage, and they are the ones that
TONS OF CAB BASK SEED PEN SEASON.
Service?Ask Us How ?i??-i*1lK5
iress, buyer paying express charges, which under
to 4,000 $1,50 per thousand; 5000 to 9000. $1.25 per
?d.^r "?*?" **
tox, 22 Yonges Island, 8. C.
BOWSERDIES HARD
But His Mother-in-law Wins From
Start to Finish.
SHE COMES UNEXPECTEDLY.
And Proceeds to Put Her Rampageous
Son Through His Paces?The Lawn
WilJ Not Be Planted In Hollyhocks;
Neither Will the House Be Painted.
By M. QUAD.
[Copyright, 1913, by Associated Literary
Press.]
1AM Mr. Bowser's mother-in-law.
I am glad he married into the
family.
He's just the kind of a man
that needs taking down a peg or two
every few days, and I'm just the woman
to do it.
I believe he would poison me if he
saieiy coum, ana i aamit that some
day I may break bis neck. .
I packed my trunk and took a little
journey the other day. I gave him no
advance warning that I was to arrive,
but reached his home from the
depot about C o'clock in the evening.
He happened to be in the front hall
and answered my ring himself, and
for a moment after catching sight of
me he looked like one who was staring
at a ghost.
"If you have not lost what little
sense you ever possessed," I said, "you
will pay the driver and get my trunk
upstairs. How is Amanda?"
"She?she?she is well!" he stammered.
"We L.dn't expect you."
"No, probably not, but it's my little
way of dropping in when I'm not expected.
Get a move on you!"
Bowser's Plans.
T Tirn<a <arwm fn thp firms of IT1V dfinch
ter, and after dinner she took me up
to ber bedroom and told me bow glad !
she was that I bad come. Mr. Bowser j
I ML" I
"I AM MB. BOWSER'S MOTHER-IJf-LAW."
was od the rampage, and my arrival
was opportune. After questioning her
at length I discovered the following:
That he was planning to repaint the
bouse, although it had two fresh coats
last year.
That he was intending to plant the
whole back yard to sunflowers next
spring.
That the whole front yard was to be i
given up to hollyhocks.
That he was going to clean house
and be three weeks about it
That he was going to attend an auction
sale next day and buy $500 worth
of antique furniture.
That he had raised a row about the
gas bill and charged his wife with having
got up at midnight and turned on
every burner in the house.
That she had hunted up a dressmaker
for $2 per day and he had
called it highway robbery and said he
would stay home and do the sewing
himself before he would pay any such
extortion.
There were a lot more things, one of
them being that he had borrowed a gun
and was going out into the country
next night to stay ail night and shoot
snipe, and, of course, I felt it my duty
to tackle him as soon as possible. At
the dinner table he was sullen and
scowling, and the only time he spoke
was when he said:
"I see by the papers that this has
been a great year so far for the old
women to die off."
"Yes. it lias," 1 replied, "but I'm left
on earth yet. aud I can manage cranks
as well as ever."
He Stays Home.
Directly after dinner I heard him
telling Amanda that he'd drop over to
the What Is It club for an hour or two
and give us a chance to talk, but I
crooked my finger at him and said:
"Mr. Bowser, that What Is It will
wait for you in vain ton^ht Your
mother-in-law has arrived, and there
are a few things she would like to say
to you."
"But I don't care to talk," he gruffly
replied.
"But you will talk just the same. If
you want to talk to me here, all right;
if you want me to follow you to the
club, just put on your hat"
He hung in the wind for a minute
on/1 +V>r?n oof f^riTcn onH Kocon "crhienpr
ing to himself to show that he was not
- afraid. Mrs. Bowser motioned me over
his head to spare him all I could, but it
did not soften my heart. Mr. Bowser
is a man who cannot be spared. The
only way to deal with him is to crush
him. True, he will only stay erusl ed
as long as I am in the house, but it has
a moral effect afterward.
"Mr. Bowser," I presently began.
*wfcat Is tbta I bear about tbe gas
bill?'
"Your daughter has wasted $2 worth
to spite me," he replied.
"You know better, sir! The idea of
a baldheaded man weighing 200 pounds
telling any such story as that looks
like boy's play. Don't you it some
bread and butter with sug~r oil it?
You never go down cellar that you
don't leave a blaze of light behind you.
That's where the gas has gone. You
are the most careless man in the
world around the house. Let me hear
no more about Amanda's extravagance.
Now. about this repainting?"
' The house is to have two coats, and
I am going to do the work myself, i
calculate it will take me two weeks."
"Well. I don't calculate it will take
you two minutes! The house doesn't
need it. and no painting will be done.
If you were to daub around here for
two weeks your own wife and half of
the neighbors would commit suicide."
"What! I can't paint my own house
if I want to!" he shouted as he got up
and began to prance around.
His Mother-in-law Scores.
"My language was plain, sir! Sit
down before you get a crick in the
i. . _ rm : 11 - i
oacK. JLiiere win iiul um.v ut: uu punning
done, but if you want to raise sunflowers
and hollyhocks, go and hire a
piece of vacant ground. I do not ad
mire them, and as I may be here all
summer 1 object to having them
around."
"She may be here all summer!" he
groaned to himself.
"Having disposed of the hollyhocks
and the sunflowers, we will take up
housecleaning." I continued.
"Amanda will see to that and take
about three days, and while she is
doing it you can either eat off the
kitchen table and sleep on the floor
and behave yourself or go to some
hotel."
"By thunder, woman, I?I"?
"That will do. Mr. Bowser! Don't
swear at me and don't call me 'woman!%
You are red in the face, and
your ears are twitching, but it will do
no good to get mad. I am the motberin-iaw.
I am It!"
"Woman, this is too much, too much!
I'd like to know"?
"Yon will know all as we go along,
Mr. Bowser. If you are not very careful
of your emotions you will tumble
down with apoplexy some day. And
now" about the dressmaker. 1 shall
go after her the first thing in the
morning. Her prices are veij reasonable,
and if they weren't it is not up
to you to kick. If you want a seven
dollar box of cigars, you order them
without a qualm. It will be $2 per
day for about two weeks, and she
won't need your assistance with the
darning needle!
Me is wuiezea.
"1 am told that you have borrowed a
gun and are going to the country to
shoot snipe at night In the first place,
you couldn't hit a barn at ten rods; in
the nest snipe don't fly at night; in the
third, that gun will be trotted borne in
the morning. If there is any running
around nights you can run to the theater
with Mrs. Bowser. What were you
going to say?"
"I was going to say, woman." be
thickly replied as he flailed his arms
about?"I was going to say that my
name is Bowser."
"Yes." .
"And this is my house."
"Yes."
"And I run things to suit myself.
What right have you to come down
here and?and"?
"The right of the mother-in-law, sir.
and that's the best right in the world.
One more thing this evening. You were
saying you'd drop over to the What Is
It club for a coudIo of hours. Well.
you won't drop. They will miss you.
and they'll be inquiring why is it But
let 'em inquire. Your place is right
here, and here you will stay.
"I am going up to Join Amanda dow,
who is a bit nervous, and if you go to
banging doors, rattling the furnace or
stamping up and down you'll bear from
me. You may think it a good time to
mend the water pipes, fix a door, experiment
on the gas meter or drive
nails, but let me assure you to the contrary.
These few words this evening
are only a sort of a prologue. Tomorrow
we will get down to real business
and have a thorough understanding."
I vanished upstairs, and Mr. Bowser
shook his fist after me and tramped
around for the next ten minutes like an
angry lion. He didn't know whether to
burst out a window or break three or
four chairs, but at last he flung himself
down on the lounge to think It all over.
An hour later his wife and I came
creeping softly upstairs. We found
him asleep and a tear on his cheek.
' - * - * ? -3 ~
Willie llie fin ocrupiru u. ueuiuy cuau
and regarded him with looks of sorrow.
Rampageous Bowser had been quieted.
J A Sign. j
iWhen a man asks you for ad- +
vice it is a sign that he believes X
you will recommend the course +
be has decided to take.?Chicago 1
Record-Herald. T
Not a Genuine Sport.
Old Gent?Gentle disposition! Why,
be wants to bite the head off every dog
he meets. You've swindled me!"
Dealer?Lor" luv yer, guv'nor, you
didn't oughter keep dogs at all! Agent
with your temperament ought only to
go in for silkworms!?Tit-Bits.
Up and Down.
"That would be great at home when
the baby is peevish," remarked Mr.
Youngbusband. as he watched the
ship's heaving deck.
"What's that?"
"That deck's a regular Belf walking
floor."?Exchange.
I Lameness I
$ Sloan's Liniment is a quick ^
ft and reliable remedy for lame- 0
'I ness in horses ana other farm p
ft " Sloan'3 Liniment surpasses any- nj
a thing on. earth for lameness in horses H
S and other li<>rso ailments. I would gfl
g not sleep without it i:i my stable."? ^
1 432 West liitli St., New York City. tA
Good for Swelling and Abscess. #
Mr. if. M. Gibus, of Lawrence, Kan., $5
R. F. L>., No. 3, writes:?" I had a mare m
with an abscess on her neck and one ra
rj)c. bottleof Sloan's Liniment entirely ||
cured her. I keep it ail the time for Pp
galls and small swellings and for every- r?
thing about the stock." &
SLOANS
LINIMENT
is a quick and safe remedy S
fnr Lnor rVinlpra 89
Governor of Georgia u?e? ra
Sloan's Liniment for Host Cholera. s
" I heard Gov. Brown (who is quite a i
farmer) say that he had never lost a B
hog from cholera and that his remedy fl
always was a tablespoonful of Sloan's H
Liniment in a gallon of slops, decreas- H
ing the dose as the animal improved. fl
Last month Gov. Brown and myself [B
were at the Agricultural College fl
building and in the discussion of tne j?
ravages of the disease, Gov. Brown B
gave the remedy named as unfailing." fl
" Observer." 9
Sava>ttah Daily News. H
At All Dealers. 25c., 50c. & 81.00. fl
Sloan's Book on Horses, Cattle, ?
HogB and Poultry sent free. jS
Address Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Boston. |&
IRMO NEWS.
' J. H. H " Writes Interestnigiy from
that Crowing Town.
It is a hard matter to write anything
that has not already been written
or that everybodjijjDes not already
know, unless flragLlras been a
fight, or. a killing, o^PRething else
sensational and we have had nothing
of the kind recently, so that it is
plain from the outset that I cannot
interest the readers very much. If I
write the truth they will not believe
it; if I lie, they will catch me in it,
and if I write trash they will not read
it.
It is no use to say anything about
the weather, for everybody know9
it behaves like a spoiled child. It is
hindering some of the farmers from
preparing that brag corn patch
to beat the enviable record of Jerry
Moore. They have all attended the
corn show, and now watch some of
them take the belt from Jerry, even
if they have to slip around the hill
and get some from the other patch.
People have been saying for the last
fifteen or twenty years that Irmo
V _ 1.1. Tl _ J A _
wouia never de anyunng. .due it is
still Irmo and growing some. "Uncle
Sam" has two R. P. D. routes out
from here. Harbinson Agricultural
college for negroes is here, and there
is considerable business of a mercantile
nature. The price of land has
advanced to $100 per acre and lots
in town that can be bought at all,
are very high. The railroad does a
fine business. The passenger travel
is heavier from this point than from
any other station of the same class on
the line. All this is something, and,
like Micawber, we 8re always waiting
for something to turn up.
We voted a two mill special levy in
this district and now have the best
school we have had for years under
the principalship of Prof. Stuckey
with Miss Eva Bookman as his assistant.
We hope this is the beginning of
greater interest in education in our
community, and, in the near future
we may have as good a school as
-
found in any nine wuuujr tuwu.
Miss Leora Hook is teaching in the
graded school at Scran ton, S. C.; Prof.
J. B. Koon, is Superintendent of the
Holly Hill schools; Prof. L. M. Bouknight,
is Superintendent of the school
at Latta; Miss Eula Mathias holds a
position in the Little Mountain school;
Miss Shuler and Miss Smith assist at
Chapin.
The Representative branch of the
General Assembly had song services
and took a recess of a few days and
the hall was disinfected while vacant.
Fine idea!
Taft says Washington' is a fine
place and he had a pleasant time there,
sure? Mr. Wilson doubtless will be
likewise impressed with the place,
There are many others who would be
"de-light-ed" to live there as President
of the United States. We hope that
Mr. Wilson may be overjoyed and
that his spirit may in ecstacy rise,"
and his influence and Dower in behalf
of the laboring masses of the people
envelope onr nation. Under past administrations
the rich have been heaping
np wealth and the poor could not
live. What we need, and what we
hope for, under Wilson's administration
is the shutting up of some
of the channels through which
the rich oppress the poor and the
opening up to the toiling millions avenues
that will enable them to earn a
decent living and arrest their children
from the arms of ignorance.
J. H. H.
' i
Avery
THE JEWELEB , '
1508 Main St., Columbia, S. C.
REPAIRS
LCJUJL X11IIU
WATCHES
AND
JEWELRY
Makes Them Goad as New
MEDALS
AND
BADGES
?- a... n
maiiuiaciurei iri uur uwn
Shops for Schools and Other
Purposes
AVERY, The Jeweler
1508 Main St., Columbia, S. C.
AM MASTEROF THE
OPTICAL BUSINESS
My motto is painstaking conscientious
Optical service. I have
one of the most completely
upiiuai uuiucs, xu v/ulumbia.
Let me do your optical
work and show you how I
can serve you. Spectacles and '
Eye-glasses repaired and lenses
matched in 30 minutes.
Three graduate opticians of many
years experience to serve you and
we can promise you the highest de- '
gree of accuracy, reliability and satisfaction
in all cases entrusted to ^
me. Come and see us, we make no
charge for our examination.
B. H, Berkman
ESTABLISHED 1879.
1418 MAIN STREET,
COLUMBIA. S. C.
BEAR IN MIND
C. D. Kenny Co.
Is Headquarters for
Sugar, Coffee, Teas, Rice,
Etc. Fresb Coffee roasted
daily.
Don't pat off buying
your coffee' and sugar. They're
going Higher. _
C. D. KENNEY CO.
1639 Main Street,
Phone 157.
Columbia, S. C.
r ,
A Watch is
\
Valuable
When it Keeps Time. If
you want your watch to
keep Correct Time, see
M. WEISS,
Watch Repairing a Speciaty
! Also Dealer in Watches
and Jewelry.
Iioob Assemoiy St., uoiumDia, 5. t.ll FARMS!
FARMS!
If you want to buy a good
farm at right price anywhere
in South Carolina,
call on or write me. If yon
want to sell your farm quick
for cash, make your price ^
right and I will sell it for
you, no matter where located.
I sell choice city
nrnnprtu tnr>.
r-w( *~j ?
Hope A. Dickert,
1507 Main Street,
Columbia, - South Carolina,
Always Hustling"
*4