The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, May 03, 1911, Image 2
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! Knowing the great impor
-J point to carry the best ol ?
i - un Ak,. m
ing an. vrncincr iwr um
i to serve you. You will fine
] lowest reasonable figure c
j Anvils $5.00 and up. Bl
i Lorick &
INCOI
COLUMBIA,
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I Since January 1st, w<
I our line of shoes to
I Ladies' Solid Leather
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8 Thesauri Shoes we have be
8 and wbi.-a you will always
1 for we will sell to you for t
I $1
I A Complete Line oi
, Ladies' Trin
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TTC aptv-iauj m T iiv at
our Store.
Jones Cash Di
1554 MAIN ST., .
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1 GOOD
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; And best of work
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n Feature that has
; The States
: and endo
; South Carolina
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!m See us and we
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| Your interest is
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,r COLUMBIA,
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Q R. V. STILLER, Manager. m
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I IS IT F
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> WE HA
J The Very
$ Right)
| Webb's
\ 1S27 Main Street
^ DECORATORS: In BurJ;
A Out of Citj
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a A--.!-. a.iA bmaI#a i if O k
tance 01 tnese ioois, wc mane < .
ivery tool known to the blacksmith- ]
hop or the farm, we are prepared |
I our pwices hammered down fo the >
in everything you need. |
iacksmith's Vises $5.50 to $7.50.
5
Lowrance,
PRORATED.
- - - S. C.e I
>s$2.00 and 1
For $1.50 |
; have decided to contine |
Shoes fa Retail At $1.50 I
en selling foi ?2.00 and ?2.50 1
pay the other fellow high prices
he low price of
.50
: I)ry Goods, Notions,
lined Hats, Etc.
I Lexingtonians to visit
7 Goods Store,
COLUMBIA, S. C.
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STOCK
is the strong j '
i helped to earn jj
In
vide reputation S|
>rsements of the *
jjj
. Marble Works, jjj
i either marble or granite a!
1 T
) satisfy. We sell iron jjjj
Tr>i4-cx r<otl 1
will see that
5 protected. jjjj
. 5VJARSLE WO^StS, j|
, : 1707 Main Street, !S'
s S, C. ' g!
: : F. H. HYATT, Proprietor. |g|
/
'AINT? fSk $
VE IT ^p $
Best Goods and $
.y Priced, \
& t*+ Qf rifP? ^
f~li ? W I v ' \
Columbia, S. C. \
ip, Tapestries and Wall Payers.
f Work Solicited. i
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OUR DRUMMER BOYS.
A Good Story for Those
That Have the Key.
One thing I like about these Knights
of the Road is that they are great fellows
for secret societies. Most all of
the Drummers belong to everything
that is goiftg from the Grand Knights
of the Diamond G. down to the Sons
of Intemperance. I am fond of such
mysterious things myself, so I get
solid with the boys. My old friend,
Cy Clark, called on me the other day
to see if I needed any coal, and to
have a visit. We had a jolly time.
While we were sitting in the office a
chap came in and wanted to borrow
$2, on account of a remittance not
coming to him as he expected. I told
him mv Si I keDt to loan was in now,
"'*** TJ Xbeing:
sent the day before by Johnnie
Mclntyre, but I never lent it except
to Drummers. He said, "That's me."
I gave him the grand hailing sign of
an Odd Fellow, which he tumbled to.
Then I gave him the great "hair in
the soot" grip of a Pvthonic. He
tumbled. Then Cy gave him the G.B.
of the Sons of Malta. He was onto it.
' Then I gave him the Hair Joker signal
! of a Good Tipler. He smiled and said,
! "H. O." This is a chemical term,
"meaning 'water." Then Cy stuck out
his hand and gave him the noted P D
Q sign of a Royal Arch Brick M^son.
He "got thar" on that. Then Cy examined
him as follows, to make sure
he was a Drummer:
"From whence comestthou, pard?"
iL- T ,l,a Gf
.f rom ine .uuuge w uir ixuij
Johns, Michigan."
"What seek ye here to do ?"
"To seek a few orders, and collect a
bill from Billson."
"Then you are a Drummer?"
"I am so taken and accepted by all
the boys."
\"How am I to know you to be a
Drummer ?"
"By my cheek and by my 50-pound
sample case. Try me."
"^How will you be tried ?"
"By the squire?"
"Because the squire is a magistrate
and an emblem of stupidity."
"Where were you first prepared to
i T\ OJ>
DeCOIDtJ a -LTULUillCJ. ;
"In my mind.''
"Where next ?"
"In a printing office adjoining a
regular po9t of Drummers."
"How were you prepared?"
"By being divested of my last cent,
my cheek rubbed dawn with a brick, a
bunion piaster over each eye, and a
heavy sample case in each hand. In
this fix I was conducted to the door of
the post."
"How did you know it was the door,
being blind ?"
'By first stepping into a coal scuttle
and afterwards bumping my head
against the door knob."
"How gained you admission ?"
"By the benefit of my cheek."
"Had you the required eheek?"
"I had not, but Jack Higgins had it
for me."
"On what were you received ?"
"On the sharpe toe of a boot, applied
to my natural trousers.''
"What did that teach you !"
"Not to fool around too much."
"What happened next ?"
"I was put down on a cake of ice
and asked if I put my trust in mercantile
reports ?"
"Your answer?"
"Not if I know myself, I don't."
"How were you next handled ?"
"I was put astraddle of a goat made
out of a 2x4, and trotted nine times
abound the room by four worthy
brothers; and then brought before the
left bower for further instructions."
"How did he instruct you ?"
"To approach a customer by three
upright regular steps, with my business
card extended at right angles, my
CL11JLAO XUi Ul \ U u
"How were you then disposed of?"
"I was again seated on a chunk of
ico in front of a dry goods box, and
made to take the following horrible
and binding oath":
"I, Cuas. S. Robbing, do hereby and
herein mo?i everlastingly and diabolically
sw^ar, by the great bobtail flush,
that I will never reveal and always
steal all the trade secrets I can lor the
use and benefit of this most august
order. 1 further swear by the baldheaded
Jack of Clubs, that I will never
give, carve, make, hold, take or cut
prices below the regular ra es. And
I further swear by the piper that
played before Moses, to never have
any dealings with a man, or his w?fe,
sister, grandmother, eld maid, aunt,
or uncle; unless they, he, she, or it is
sound on the goose. Binding myself
under no less a penalty than that of
having my gripsack ?piio :rom top to
bottom, iny cixty s.iirij and socks
taken out, and my reputation removed
and buried in tiic riyer just b?low the
water works, where the Salvation
Army ebbs and flows every two and a
half hours. So help me Bob Ingersoll
and keep me in backbone."
"I was then asked what I most
needed."
"What was your reply ?"
"Money."
"What did you then behold :"
"A copy of Dun & Co.'s reports
open at Chapter Memphis. Upon the
open book rested a pair of drug scales,
in one pan of which reposed ten
pounds of concentrated lye and in the
other sat a small silver jackass."
''What did this emblem signify ?"
"The scales indicated tne balance
between debtor and creditor. The
other emblem represented lie-abilities
and assets of bankrupts."
"Did this teach you any lesson ?"
"You bet. It taught me the fact
that the former are generally so almighty
much better than the latter."
"Shake, brother. * * * Willyou
be off or from ?''
"Both, if I can borrow enough
money to get out of town."
"Have you any cigars ?"
"I have several."
"Give them to me."
"I did not so receive them, neither
will I so impart them."
"How will you dispose of them !"
"On sixty days time, at 2 per cent
nff ff** c Vi f n h "
"All right begin."
"No, begin you."
"No, you begin."
"Up."
"'Em."
"Set."
"Set 'em up."
"The words and signs are correct.
Brother Snooks, he is a yard wide
and all wool and you can bet on him."
So I loaned the chap $5, and he left
with many thanks and good wishes.
Now, you can see by this what a
help it is to a fellow when he gets
dead broke among strangers to have
this little thing to fall back on.
[Drummer's P. C.]
Five to Hang.
At Oklahoma City five negroes were
sentenced to hang from the same
scaffold on Jane 21, for the murder of
W. H. Archie, who was robbed and
killed March 9.
Foley'?
Kidney
Pills
What They Will Do for You
They will cure your backache,
strengthen your kidneys, cor
tci;i uimaijr iiii^^uiaiiuwoi uunu
op the worn out tissues, and
eliminate the excess uric acid
that causes rheumatism. Prevent
Bright's Disease and Diabates,
and restore health and
strength. Refuse substitutes.
sjFor Sale By All Druggis.
Notice-Teachers Examination.
The teachers of the county will please
take notice that the Spring examination
for 1911 will be held oil the first
Friday in May, at Lexington, beginning
at 9 o'clock a. m. Please be
prompt.
The examination will include subjects
on "School Lessons on Corn" and
"School Exercises in Plant Production"
It is important that all teachers
should have certifiestes.
1 xt
v cxjr Mxuij,
A. D. MARTIN'
Co. Supt. Ed.
NOTICE.
Notice is hereby given that fishing
is prohibired on the premises known
as the late Geo. C. Clarke, Black
creek property.
MISS BriSSIE CLARK.
26 Gilbert, S. C., April 7, 1911.
FOR SALE:?Cheap, on J light spring
wagon, newly repaired and painted.
In good condition. Rice B. Karman
! WTv ? -T3 tr>
vaamoiiu wyes
"'Tisn't Ktzo?Ids Diamond-dyed
Coior Over Your Oid Dresses,
Jackets, Waists, Ribbons,
with Diamond Dyes!
We earn* a complete line of Diamont
Dyes, and can recommend them as the strong
est, simplest, and handsomest of all dyes.
No experience is necessary to get good results.
All Colors
Fab tJSrrr.rai /r&n
& VI 3 V
Mixed Goods, Silk and
Feathers. 10c a Package.
KAUFMAMN DRUG CO.
LEXINGTON, S. C.
I BUY YOUR
fl Harman's Shoe sto
I plete stock to select fror
A special invitation to n
I Make my store y
m Columbia. Farmers hea
S The man that save
I HARMAT
I ST
I 1735 Main Street.
HMBIIHHPVra 9S9B9PSMnVHVUn99n
THE BEST IS NOT::
TOO GOOD FOR , :
OUR CUSTOMERS : :
???C??CM??BP?aiflT?aMSCO???
We are exclusive agents in C }]umbia
for the Be9t Furniture Manufacturers
in America.
We show the largest and best as
sortment of'high grade Furniture
in the entire South.
I A visit to our store will be be a
treat for ycu because we \ i
I show you all the new ideas in
Furniture.
You are always welcome and you
will not be asked to purchase.
VANMETRE'S
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
EMBALMER,
Columbia, S.C.
I J. J. RIKA
I Lex
Has one of t]
State and is pref
ENGINES, BOILER!
on short
Can bore any
ton Gin Saws Fi
perfect work. I
Full line of M
at reasonable pri
Will answer a
faction euarateec
j. j.
I C, Oi. BR01
jj 1730 HASH SIRE?
?| Ts where you can find
| PAI
jj OF AI
I DOORS, a
BLINE
j LIME AN:
I CABINET
^ Call or write for Prices.
I The Cald
4
* 1552 Corner Main an<
t Columbia Bank. Centra
e
TT ur vcmrvn W A TJ T)
* IX. ? V . M
tt '
$ American arc
?
J Hates: American $2. and
jj European, 75c am
S Headquarters for the
S CUISIHE I
o
* Proper and Careful Att
* Now Under New Management
SHOES FROM I
re and eave money. A com- R
a in all leathers and prices
ly many Lexington friends:
our headquarters while in
vy shoes a specialty. M
is you money on shoes. M
M'S SHOE I
ORE 1
Columbia,S. C. M
mimwuiiWiium?.iimwwws? 11
WeAreDistributersof PSjSgffl
LIMBERTSH !
HOLLAND-DUTCH WMS&
ARTS & CRAFTS I
I
I LUXUR!0U5-Mi^OTIR^^^J^ l |
HMHBHHHBD
RDj I
ingtcn, S. C. I
:ie Finest Repair Shops in the H
)ared to rebuild I
5 and COTTON GINS 9
notice. B
size engine cylinder desired. Cot
0 *
led by Machinery, which insures I
also refill Gin Brushes. 9
ill Supplies,Piping, Fittings, etc., B
11 country cal^s promptly. Satis- fl \
1 or your money back. Phone 412 B ,
RIKARD, I
Lexington, S. C. |
HmBaBnnnBBmaHaHi
IT, GOLU85BIA, S. 0. I ;
[ one of the best stocks of |
nr^Ts I
T trrivTTis i
IJU JU. XAI ^ M J I
? & GLASS |
D CEMENT. | !
MANTLES. I 'I
9
well Hotels J
I Taylor Streets. Opposite %
lly located. Columbia, S. C. 1
Proprietor and Manager. *
L European Plan. *
$2.50 per day. J
i $1.00. Large, Cool Rooms | '
. U. C. T.'s and T. P. A.'s. S
rNEXCELLED. %
9t
ention Given to All Guests. *
w
*
Watch us Grow. *
**?*
1