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?I THE LEXINGTON DISPATCH. ? Representative Newspaper. Severs Lexington and the Borders of the Surrounding Bounties Like a Blanket. VOL. XXXIX. ~ ~ LEXINGTON, S. C? "WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 19C9. ~~ 43" ???^m jf FARMERS^ We give particular attentioE A checking account with a b er should be without. Our savings department is ai ing, as it does, the privilege o the advantage of interest on yc Our commodious offices a)wa ers. We cordially invite the farm Home. j The HOME NA OF LEXI HraBHHlMii (?- _ Tri-uou BATESBUI October Third annual fair. Large depart > Good Carnival and free a< SENATOR B. B. TILL] WEDNESDAY. CO LEYER SPEAKS J| ; Those desiring premiui W.J. McCARl ' Batesbi FinMAHICE'STI 1704 and 1706 MAIN ST. Pall anrl \Ai Dry Goods, Notii and Boys, Ladies' ' Squares and Rugs. ^ We invite our fri < 1 *on an(* surroui ; [j bia to see us for yc I n are prepared to sa\ (l E stock. We never' II n or cheaPerULpIi Notice we prepa; I! j 1\ wards to your nea: will pay half your of 50 miles, provid $30.00, and at the same time 1 to see us for your wants. Ladies' Suits from $10.00 to Millinery this fall. Grand val $ 18.00. A big assortment of We guarantee everything v, LOWEST PRICE. Coffins an I beg to announce thai and Caskets, from the ches prepared to furnish same c call. LEWIE H GILBEB Lexi&ffton Pressing: Club. Remember that the old reliable Lexington Preasing Club i? still in business and is servftjg its patrons with the usual promptness and care. We give special attention to the pressing of Ladies skirts. Give us a trial. tf. Lena 8ox, Mgr. g: -W- 5 ItSiiO MAIN (STBEI finliAifa a SVl?rp UUU.V1 UU U) N/um>* V BUSINESS l to the business of farmers, ank is a convenience no farm^ lother excellent feature, affordf withdrawals, together with >ur funds. ysat the disposal of our eustomLers to make this their Banking I TIONAL BANK I NCTON. I ntvFair III T =tG, S. C., 18 to 22. premiums offered in all ments.. ;ts. Plenty of amusements. KAN WILL SPEAK ON NGBESSKAN A. P. 1 ON THTTRSDAY. n lists write 'HA, Secretary, irg, S. C. HREE-ARCHSTORE COLUMBIA, S. C Inter Wear Dns, Clothing for Men, Youths Tailored Suits, Millinery, Art [ends and patrons from Lexingiding counties when in Colum>ur wants before buying. We re you money from this big had a better stock to show you f all orders from $4.00 and uprest express office. Also we railroad fare within a distance ing your purchane amounts to )uying at the lowest price. Call $27.50. A grand display of ues in Men's Clothing, $5.00 to Boys' Suits, $1.50 to $5.00. rr\ a11 K r\ r* v* /-] iU ic sen iu uc cinu. ai nit; naMBBBMnanaBnBMnBnn fi d Caskets l I have a full line of Coffins ipest to the highest, and am >n short notice. ^ Give me a IALLMAN, IT. S. C. ' " " ! | Notica, Trespassers. This is to notify all persons not to hunt, either day or night, or trespass in any manner whatsoever, npon my lands as the law will positively be enforced against all so trespassing. S. ELMORE BERRY. Sept. 20, 1909?Iw SOp. LOBE DRY 60 ST, of Your Yalued Pat HANS THE COBBLER, He Tells of Things That Take Place In His Shop. PUZZLES THE OLD FELLOW Can't Understand Why It Is That People Always Get Something For Nothing In His Establishment?Sings Like a Ladybird. [Copyright, 1909, by Associated Literary Press.] IF you go by the dry goods store, do you oxpect dot merchant is going to ask you to have some strawberries and cream? If you go by a blacksmith shop, do you believe dot blacksmith hands you out a dish of ice cream? If you go by some undertaker, does he present you mit a Teddy bear for der childers? If you go by the coal yard, does dot man let you draw for a prize package? Of course no sooch thing happens. It is only vhen people call in at a cobbler's shop dot dey vhant something for nottings, und I can't make her out. I am on my bench putting a lift on a heel for an old customer vhen my old frendt Mr. Hammerdinger comes in. He has some smiles on his face. He makes me a bow und says good morning und den vhalks over to der tin water pail und looks into it und | sniffs und smells. It vbas all water , in dere. His 9mile goes avhay like I rapid transit und he don't say anything for two minutes. I don't look up nor ask if his wife is dead. I abash ham to myself: Oh, dor cat'* in der cream, und der cow's ia der corn, Bod -dor. wife in der weU, und der husband forlorn. "Say, Hans," says Mr. Hammerdlnger as he looks mad, 'What yon got in dot pa*?" "Water." " hy you got water? You vhas a nice man to hare water when a customer comes in. No vonder you yhas so near der poorhouse all der time. I come in here to ask yon about a new pair of shoes, but instead of beer I find water in der growler?shust plain water! Do you believe I stand dot? No, sir. I vhas no sooch mans. I knows vhen insoolted. I go oudt. Do you hear?I go oudt!" Vhell, he goes oudt. If Mr. Hammerdinger goes by der tax office to pay his taxes, does he oxpect some cocktails? Certainly not, but he oxiff H "I BELIEVE SHE WAS SOME ANGELS." pects beer in a cobbler's shop sbust der same. He goes oudt uud a tall man niit spectacles on his eyes comes in. I never see him before. Maype he has a pair of shoes in a paper to be fixed up. I smile at him uud say it vhas good weather. He says der weather vhas good nr.ff for him uud goes over to der growler. One sniff imi-l hft turns nvtmv. I don't look ill). but hum to myself: In der good old summer timeIn der good old summer time. "Cobbler," says (lot man, "do you see me?" "Of course." I says. "Do I look like some guy from der country?" "No. sir." " "Den don't try any of your con games on me. You have got water in dot growler instead of beer." "Yliell?" "Vnell nottings! Do you suppose 1 bring my repairs iu here shust to drink water? You may play dot game ou innocent cbilders. but don't try it on me. You shall find oudt dot I vhas no man to fool mit. Water?water for customers! You vhas der meanest man in 10WII. UUU OliUl I go. il JUU aiai >r iw death I vhas glad of it." Vhell, 1 can't say uottings. If dot rasa goes by a photographer to get hi* picture took be don't oxpect a mint jmlep, does be? Den Thy must be oxpect beer in a cobbler's shop? I try to ptmle hiro oadt Then a woman comae in. She ?h?e as tali sab a tree , IOBS (MAN r, Tie., ronage. Polite and Proi You vhas no dressmaker, but a stingy old cobbler. I bear you vhas almost in der poorhouse, und I come mit my custom to help you. I walk four blocks to find water iu your growler?nothing but water. You may think I vhas some chorus girl to be made a fool of by a broker, but you vhas mistook. Never, never again do I come into dis shop, unci if you raise your hat und bow to me on der street your wicked old head vhas punched in two minutes!" It vhas no use to talk back. I finish der heel und den take oop another shoe to put on a cement patch und a fat man comes in. He vhas fat und jolly, und he smiles und says Roosevelt vhas sure to run again four years from now, I und we vhas getting along like two cats in a barrel vhen he slips along to where he "an look into dot growler. He gives one look und shumps back. I don't look up. I shust sit on my bench and sing in a low, sweet voice: 1 Dere vhas an old parrot?her name it vhas Poll? Her English vhas good and so vhas her gall. A lady went by?a descendant of Tam? And the eyes of that lady old Polly did dam. "Stop, stop!" yells dot fat man ash he waves his arms around and grows 1 red in der face. "Vhell, vhat vhas it?" I says. "Do you know vhat vhas in dis pail?' 1 "Sure, Mike." "Don't attempt to be frivolous mit me. You know it's water, do you? plain water?" "Of course." "And you are a man who puts your customers off with plain water!" "If you go by a law office to get some law on a feller, does dot lawyer hand you out a Scotch highball?" Too Much Water. ' uvi YUM umcicHi?uvi > ua? vicegerent!" he shouts ash he shumps around. "You vhas no law office, but a cobbler shop. Here I have talked half a mile to see about a cement patch on my shoe und my heart beating some triphammers, und vhat do I 1 find? Vhas dere some creamy beer in your growler to save my life, or vhas it some water maype three days old? , Don't answer me! Don't urge any oxcuses! I vhas humiliated and insulted. I feel dot I should tear down your shop. Sir, I go oudt. I go oudt never to come back. I go oudt to patronize a dago cobbler und to hopo you vhas found dead in your bed tomorrow morning. Water?water for me! Plain water! Old water! River water! Water without even shoemaker's wax in it to color it! Villain, farewell!" Vhas it any good for me to feel bad? If I can't make him oudt I can't, und so I sit on mv bench und sing like some ladybird: Oh, Hezekiah Johnson, he treed a coon oop a tree. Und der coon looked down und chuckled he-he. Und Hezekiah waited a shot for to get, Und if he don't be tired he's waiting dere >6t* M. QUAD. | TAUNTING HIM. Housecleaning Time at the Home of Mr. and Mrs. Stubb. IT was housecleaning time, and Mr. Stubb was removing the dusty pictures from the walls. The frames slipped, the stepladder creaked ominously, and the perspiration rolled from Mr. Stubb's brow. In the humor to bite a nail in half, he turned and discovered Mrs. Stubb laughing. "That's itl" he roared as the stepladder swayed. "Laugh and show your gold teeth." And still she laughed. "Do you think there is anything funny in my moving these picturesV" he spluttered in fiery tones. "No. indeed, John," said Mrs. Stubb soothingly, "but you know you look so funny it looks like a moving picture show." Then Mr. Stubb swallowed a pfnt of j dust and simply fumed. ? Chicago News. Among the Daffodils. I V. I "-Of I Miss Cltykld-Oh, WHIie. wouldn't It be lOTelj If we could catch one and take It home and tatbe it??New York "WosM. ? _ > . a I " LG-EE, C OLUMBIA, S. O. mpt Attention. RHH doll htagjE? # pSRvf" ;? *';\S Is worth only half as IJm* \] ^ere is least twic< J;' Put temptation out c cash inl I"! *"- j | * Iw'caBHaaau " l 1 \ Citizens Ba J BATESBI ' ',ox' ?^ar' y?ur ac( |ML ^ U. X. GTJNTEB, I 1892. Lexington Sat LEXINGTON, Capital, Surplus and Undivid 5 per cent interest paid on being computed semi-annually. 1 received. Commercial accounts also giv Ample facilities for handling AO.eAnnt will Ha a ivnr aaio+a/I m ? WW mm m w MA WAV* WU| Safety deposits boxes for rent, P. EOl DO YOU PRACT There are very few who could not laj pay day for the possible "Rainy Day." TRY IT. It paves the way to success That you did not begin sooner.. WE PAY 4 per cent. INTEREST on S Don't put it off, but begin now, by op< The Bank of R. L. LYBRAND, President I^RRoi^L^iSI % NEW BROOKL 'litf We Want your business. It is ou in your money with us until you neec [jW times a year. M J. G. CUICNARD, KW Vice-President. ^?lll 11 I IIBIIIMIIBIIB???? IBank of : CHAPIN, The Bank That A This bank aims to give you good s checks for you?furnish drafts for i always glad to assist you in business with this bank, which makes a poir positors. Our certificates of deposit We cordially invite the farmers as g their banking with us. 9 J. S. WESSINGER, President. RILEY & HAIC SWANSEA, We carry a full, up-to-date lii I Dry Goods, Clothing, Shoes, Hj handle Craddock Go.'s, of Lynchbi ladies' and gent's. Godman, of liwlmo n ya rl r>-\ 1 Qol'/ f\"f* f H ItlUl^O (UiU 1111CCUO* UVi/ij V/A VlllVUi pair of nice shoes guaranteed to gi Our fancy Dress Goods line is Highest market prices paid for all RILEY & HAIC SWANSEA, AR IN HAND ! much as one in the bank. For 3 in the temptation to spend it >f your way by depositingfyoui ' tsa. nk of Batesburg, FUG, : : : S. C. way than in your safe or cash ?ount today writh what | you e to deposit all your cash and ?. You'll find you have more i time you balance your books. 1 time deposits quarterly. 'res. 3NES, Cashier. Iff. CARTER,"Asst. Cashier. 1909. Tings Bank, - S. 0] ed Profits $30,000.00. savings deposits, interest 4 )eposits of $1.00 and over en special attention. ; your business, and your * $1.00 per year. OF, President and Cashier \ ICE SAVING? r something by each month, each , and yon'11 have bnt one regret, viz: Saving Deposits calculated^quarterly. sning an acconnt with ns. / 1 Swansea. B. E. CRAFT, Cashier. DBANKfl ' AND, S. C. j| r desire to please. Leave fit ^ I it We pay interest four ^ L. S. TROTTI, % ? President fit Chapin S. C. : : : ccommodates ervices. We ca9h out-of-town sending money way. We are matters. Make your deposits it of good treatment of its de; bear interest at 5 per cent. wen as tne DU9ine9s men to do H iLER BROS., , s. c. ie of General Merchandise, its, Fancy Groceries. We irg, Va., Shoes for children, Columbus, ()., Shoes for *o, Shoes for men. Every * ve satisfaction. i up-to-date in every respect. country produce. LER BROS., s. c. hwJI