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. 9 VOTHMnmanMnpnaHDaMBaM - BOWSER'S LATEST, 4 [Tries to Solve Problem What Be L comes of Crickets In Winter. POLICE INTERRUPT HIS WORK / : jQueer Actions Result In Hip Arrest, : and He Has to Give Up His Investi gationo?Taken Horn# by an Officer j Under Protect. P [Copyright, 1907. by T. C. McClure.] : When Mr. Bowser rose np from the dinner table the other evening he f>assed through the kitchen into the jback yard, and after three or four minutes the cook came in to Mrs. Bowser and asked: "And can yon tell me wtfat's going to happen now. ma'am?" "How do you mean?' "Why, Mr. Bowser is looking for something in the grass out there and lighting a match now and then. If the ?as meter is to 'be blown up or the xcate*r nines hnrsted 1 want to eet OUt of here." She was assured that nothing in the line of tragedy was likely to happen, and when Mr. Bowser came in he was asked if he had been hunting tyr a lost pocketknife. "It was Just a preliminary investigation," he replied. "Investigation of what? I wish you .wouldn't be upsetting the girl with jour mysterious actions. You keep her on the ragged edge all the time." "Mrs. Bowser, if the men who have been delving into the sciences for the ___2- i . r FflvP/nJ[jx 11 VrV?Bi5&y^K .^WMIUBfl FLASHING THE LIGHT OYER THE GRASS. last 200 years had paid attention to the whims of a red headed servant girl, where would w^ have been now '!' "Then you are delving, are you?" "I am. If I can contribute anything to the general knowledge of the world .by a little effott on my part I feel it my duty to do so. I have spent very (little time in investigating, and yet it has not been entirely thrown away. (What would-we have known ofn natural history if hundreds of men had ; kiiot defved? But for the fact that Rev. fair. Long, the naturalist has spent iyears and years in the forest would ,,we know that when children are lost a wolf takes it upon himself to lead them home? Would we have learned a that when a bird breaks its log it acts * as its own surgeon by tying splints ground it?" "And you were helping along the cause by looking among the bones, ?bottles and cans in the back yard?" -suggested Mrs. Bowser. ?. Mr. Bowser didn't reply for five minutes. It took him all that time to 'flush red and white and keep from (yelling out at her. When he had finalfly got a hold with his toes on the floor fte replied: r "If you want to know what I was out there for I can tell you. There swere some gentlemen belonging to the Naturalist club in the office today, and ?he question came up as to how crickets passed the winter. They contend ? . ',ed that they bummed in the earth bellow the frost line to reappear in May, and I contended that they died of hunger and cold and that the crickets of .next year would.be born of eggs deposited in the grass. I stepped out Into the back yard to make a preliminary investigation." . "But what do you care whether " -crickets cfee off or not?" "What did the world care whether Stevenson invented his locomotive or not? I am not caring so much for mybut for the generations that are ^ to come after me. The evenings have , " grown cold. We have had frosts. If the crickets burrow they are burrow/ lng now. If they turn up their toes it ought to be easy to find their dead .v. pocues m tne grass. "Shan't we ran Into Green's a little while tonight?" she asked to change the subject. "Not tonight We can run into vGreen's any time. It Is a still night, ,with a touch of frost in the air. There couldn't be a better night to investigate the cricket problem. If I solve it in the manner I expect to, I want to write out my discovery and send it to the daily papers. I am now going to take a little walk and may not be back for an hour or two." "Very well," replied Mrs. Bowser In resigned tones, realizing that any objections were useless. Mr. Bowser put on his fall overcoat and hat and took up his cane and left the house. As soon as be got outside the gate he tried to look like a naturalist who was on the eve of a great discovery, but he didn't make much of a success at it. An old woman came tlong and stopped him and asked for a OTOMPanBmPNMnMnsMOMn nickel to buy tea with, and when he refused it she stepped back and said: "It is such brewers as you with the big stomachs on them that are driving the poor people to revolution." Heard a Cricket. Mr. Bowser walked on for half a mile and then reached the suburbs. He had no sooner struck vacant property than the voice of a cricket reached him. It was a plaintive voice. It seemed to say that the watermelon season was over, mince pies had be come the fashion again and that the world had no longer any use for crickets. Matches in plenty had been brought along, and the amateur naturalist was soon down on his knees and flashing the light over the grass. After five minutes he came face to face with a cricket. It was an old shellback, who had l>een hopping about and singing all summer and now had a tired and dusty look. He even looked ii^to Mr. Bowser's eyes with what seemed to be an appeal. He didn't want money, but he certainly had cold feet and was thinking of feather beds. He hadn't burrowed and he hadn't frozen to death, and the discovery didn't solve the problem. The insect had just taken a stiff hoppetytehop when a gruff voice at Mr. Bowser's elbow demanded: "Now, then, what sort of a racket is this? What have you lost here on my lots that yon are lighting matches to see by?" "My friend, I am looking for crick- I ets," replied Mr. Bowser as he rose up. "W-h-a-t!" "Looking for crickets, I said." "Then you'd better have the keeper of an idiot asylum looking for you! What in the devil do you want of crickets?" "Do you know whether crickets burrow in the earth at this time of year or simply die of the cold?" "Do I know? Do I know?" shouted the man as he began to swing his arms about "You must think I'm a lunatic to ask me such a question as that" I'm the owner of that saloon up there, and I have no time to be around bug hunting. By what right do you come on my property without saying a word to me?" "Why, if you are so mighty particu- ' lar about it"? / "Well, I am that, and you get off. You may be hunting for crickets, and you may be hunting for geese, and you can't go too soon to please me." Mr. Bowser went. He realized that a row in the neighborhood would disturb all the crickets for a mile around. He continued his walk for half a mile and then turned aside from the street I again. There was no saloon in sight, and the nearest house was forty rods away. He now caught the voices of at ' - " rt ,\/l r\miCA/l f A "? f\ ieua.1 5AA. L'tiL'kt'is, uuu uc jjauocu tu tuterpret tliem. As near as he could make out, half of them wanted hot beef tea and woolen blankets, and the other half wanted to borrow spades and pickaxes to do their burrowing with. He got down and lighted more matches, and he was carefully pawing over the cold and brittle grass when he heard a horse coming on a gallop. He had hardly straightened himself up when a mounted policeman halted beside him and asked: "Who are you and what are you doing here?'' ~ "My name's Bowser, and I was looking for crickets." "Don't try to guy me, old man. I wasn't born yesterday." "Perhaps yon never heard of a cricket for all that." Arrested by Policeman. "Oh, yes, I have. I know a cricket from an old vag the minute I set eyes on him. You are coming along with me. You are one of the fellers that kept the crime wave going last summer." Mr. Bowser fell back on his dignity. No go. Then he tried bluff. Worse yet. Then he accompanied the officer back to the saloon and identified himself and stated his object in such a manner that the cop was finally constrained to say: "Well, I wouldn't have believed there was a man fool enough to go hunting crickets at night, but perhaps you are all right except being a little cracked in the head. I'll see you home, and if your wife has good sense she'll keep you.off the streets o' nignts atter mis." "Aye, she'll have to," added the saloonist. "I'm sure the old cock was after my flock of geese, no matter what he says, and if he comes again I'll jump him seven feet high with a charge of buckshot." Mr. Bowser wanted to go home alone, but the officer was taking no chances. He accompanied mm clear to ine gate, advising and warning him ali the way. and he sat his horse until the door opened and closed again. "Well," said Mrs. Bowser as she looked up from her book, "have you found out whether crickets burrow or freeze?" "We'll see our respective lawyers about the divorce in the morning," he quietly replied as he fell into a chair with a sigh of relief. M. QUAD. Not Quito the Same Thing. "Simpleton seems to have a fortune iu his mine." "Er?no! The fortune's only in hi9 tnlnd/' i o B?WH? BWBB^MmnBWBWaBW Mi THE MONEY QUESTION. An Inquisitive Youngster and an Ingenious Father. "Papa," began Gunston junior, "when the government of the United States began to coin gold and silver money it was necessary to buy the gold and silver, wasn't it?" "Yes, my son," replied Gunston senior rather cautiously. "Of course, papa," resumed the youngster, "you'll be able to tell me where the government got the money to buy the gold and silver." "Why?er?of course," stammered Gunston senior as he put down the pana? on/1 rrotnr\ fh/YlicrhtfnilV fit- tho hflV pv& uuu ^U?VV* M? wuv < ' Now, let me understand you. The government wanted to coin money, and in order to do so it was necessary to purchase gold and silver. You want to know where the government got the money to buy the gold and silver?" "That's right," chuckled Gunston junior gleefully, and a great joy filled his being as he thought of his all important sire struggling with the simple question. "Why, sonny, the government simply issued dollar bills and bought gold and silver with them. Anything else?" "Yes," said Gunston junior. "Where did the government get money to buy paper for the dollar bills ?"?Harper's Weekly. THE HORSE WON. Beat the First Locomotive on the B. x and 0. Road. The first locomotive on the Baltimore and Ohio had sails attached. So did the cars. These sails were hoisted when the wind was in the right direction so as to help the locomotive. The rivalry between the railroads using locomotives and' those using horses was very bitter. In August, 1S30, an actual trial of speed was held between a horse and one of the pioneer locomotives, which did not result in favor of the locomotive. The race was on the Baltimore and. Ohio, the locomo tive being one built by Peter Cooper, who also acted as engineer. The horse, a gallant gray, was in the habit of pulling a car on a track parallel to that used by the locomotive. At first ^ie gray had the better of the race, but when he was a quarter of a mile ahead Mr. Cooper succeeded in getting up enough steam to pass the horse amid terrific applause.At that moment a band slipped from a pulley, and. "though Mr. Cooper lacerated his hands trying to replace it, the engine stopped and the horse passed it and came in the winner."?Van Norden Magazine. They Don't Like Funerals. "If you want to know just how sensitive some Washington folks are. listen to "the reasons some of our tenants give for canceling their leases," said a renting agent. "Here are the complaints from five - families who want to move because they live on 'funeral streets.' A lot of people, it seems, are sensitive about that There are certain streets in town?those near churches where many funerals are held and those leading to the various cemeteries?which are usually traveled by funeral parties. Houses in those streets are becoming a poor investment. There is more moving from those houses than from any others we have anything to do with, and generally the movers give as the reason for their dissatisfaction the fact that the sight of so many hearses gets on their nerves." ?Washington Star. The Saragossans. It is said that the queer, composite race of people that dwell upon the waterlogged hulks of the Saragossa sea, in the mid-Atlantic, have a pretty theory about death. The^ believe that those to whom the messenger comes when the sun is shining brightly are transported straight away to a heaven of warm fresh water only four feet in depth, in which they may wade and disport themselves to all eternity. On the other hand, those who receive the call of death in hours of darkness most needs endure a probationary period before they can enter into the future life. The Saragossans are in addition firm believers in premonitions, omens and foreordinations. Instincts of a Woman. A little srirl who had for some time wanted a dog was taken very ill. One day when much better she told her mother of her desire and begged her to ask her grandpa to buy her one. The mother answered that grandpa did not like dogs and probably would not be willing to buy one. Then, seeing the little invalid look sadly disappointed, she said, "Well, wait till you get well, my dear, then we will see." "Oh, no," answered the child, whose few years had taught her some wisdom. "The more sick 1 am the more likely he will be to buy it few me."? Exchange. Hoarding. Hoarding is not only an economic mistake, but an economic crime as well. It is, in fact, a survival of the evil days of maladministration. It comes down to us from the time when nearly all governments were conquerors which considered themselves entitled to plunder their subjects. Thus hoarding is founded upon distrust of the government.?Statesman, Calcutta. Reverse Action. J. lie XliiUCi Jiauuii?iuii suvuiuu i> mind the baby crying a little. ' It strengthens his lungs. The Younger Matron?Oh, no doubt, but it weakens his father's religion so!?Indianapolis Journal. If you would not have affliction visit yo*i twice, listen at once to what It teaches.^-Eogers. / NOiiffl : 100 K. P. Guano Di; 50 Henderson Guai Moline Cotton and Moline Cotton and Middle Busters anc Agent for Planet, J WIK1 We have two cars in stock of; we can sell as cheap as anybody. We buy in car lots and alway We can sell merchants Lime 2 be glad to make you prices in quai Let us figure with you .-on you for five years, ready to go 011 your We carry a full line of everyt! Come to see us or write. We Sati Post Card Dealers Printers & Stationers Talking Machines and Records Robber Stamps And Novelties of Every Deception call 08 write for t you want COLUMBIA, S. C. WHEELWEIGHT and BLACKSMITH SHOP At BERLEY & KYZER'S New Blacksmith Shop you will find Mr. L. \ L. Long ready to give < you prompt | service. All kinds of repair work, j horseshoeing, etc. Give us a trial. I Shop situated near the Berley home- j stead. Marll 6m j i ? 1 I THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, Lexington County. By Geo. S. Drafts, Esq., Probate Judge. WhereasrChas. B. Harman made suit to me, to grant him letters of administration of the estate of and effects of J. R. Hubbard. These are therefore to cite and admonish all and singular the kindred and creditors of the said J. R. Hubbard, deceased, that they be and appear, before me, in the Court of Probate, to be held at Lexington, C. H., S. C., on 31st day of March, 1908, next, after publication hereof at II o'clock in the forenoon, to show cause, if any they have, why the said administration should not be granted. Given under my hand, this 17th day of March, Anno Domini. 1908. 1 George S. Drafts, [L. S. ] Probate Judge, Lexington county, S. C. Published on the 18th day of March, 1908, in the Lexington Dispatch. 2w21 Notice. All overseers of the public roads of Lexington county are hereby notified to put their roads in good condition at once. Unless this public duty is promptly attended to I shall be compelled to investigate the reasons for such neglect. GEO. H. KOON, Supervisor Lexington County. March D, 1908. 4w22 Final Discharge. This is to notify all persons that we will apply to the Hon. Geo. S. Drafts, Judge of Probate for Lexington County, South Carolina, on the 4th day of April, 1908, for a final discharge as executors of the estate of B. F. Gardner. Elizebeth E. Geiger, Annie E. Geiger, E. A. Gardner, 4w21 Administrators. $100.00 paid ty Dr. snoop ior any recent case of grippe or acnte cold that a 25 cent box of preventics will not break. How is this for an offer? The Doctor's snpreme confidence in these little Candy Cold Cure Tablets?Preventics?is certainly complete. Its a $100, against 25 cents?pretty big odds. And Preventics, remember, contain no quinine, no laxative, nothing harsh nor sickening. Pneumonia would never appear if early colds were always broken. Safe and sure for feverish children 48 Preventics 2oe. Kaufmann Drug Co. ?HM?BggWBUAlAMUM : NOTICE! : stributors $7.50 former! no Distributors $4.75 fo Corn Planter with G-ua: Corn Planter $12.50. 1 all kinds of Plows in st r. Cultivators 2 FENCING. WISE FENC any kind you want. We bought it: LIME, CEMENT and BRICK. s have on hand what you need in tt ind Cement cheaper than you can bu itities. i PAINTS, OILS and BRUSHES. r Paints for Spring Painting. We building at $1.15 per gallon, hing that goes with a brush, will show you we are in line and w Bsbui*g9 J I 375 I Square Feef of Flo I PUMPS, PULLEYM I AND TIN I Plumbing I Southern Stati f? COLTJMB .pl^i.^iw.i??m> -. ? >!, .1 i'i Now is Refrigerator time and our I I have them in all sizes and styles t J j highest priced ones made. Write i'i better still, come to store where w 0 plete stock of Refrigerators and Ic j Parrott-Bail 0 "STOVE and REFRIG 1248 Main St., Ir _jmg TWIST T" This brand in a favorite with ehewera of 1 superiority of flavor and quality. Our bi Virginia and North Carolina and as a res maintained. Beware of twist artificial^ damaged leaf "doctored" to deceive you. unapproached flawless quality. Insist on Manufactured by a strictly indepem HANCOCK BROS. & I Established 1851 ? - . i \ : NOTICE! Ly $9.00. > rmerly $6.50. no Distributor $15.50. f' ;ock. ING. in big lots, which puts us where 4 lis line. iy in less than car lots and will i can sell you a Paint guaranteed w * ill save you money. 5. C. 00 I lor Space Covered I 'ACKING, ROOFING I PLATE. ft n& Cimnlii Pn H uO OOJJfJIJ UUi^ feg> r 1 ' .. 1 1 J????^7 rf ; store is packed with them We 1 1 j inr? frr>rn thp phpanpst to the ! ! as for catalog and prices, or u e can show yoa the most com- j,| ;e Chests in the Carolinas. ' ley Co. Inc. |! i ERATOR PEOPLE," Columbia, S. C. !;!"r la " cos. | OBACCO ligh grade twist because of its uniform ayers pick over the choicest growth of alt the original superiority is forever r flavored, as that argues low grade or Legal Tender is always the MOW is this brand being given you. dent firm. CO., Lynchburg, Va. ? ' T .PA/Ipta 1908 ???? - J ! i I